Eric woke up the next morning still on Azure Gem’s couch, only she wasn’t with him. Before he could even begin to wonder where she could have gone, an intoxicating aroma filled the room.

“Mmm… That smells good…” he thought as he rolled on his side, only fall out of the bed. “Agh… Goddammit,” he whimpered.

“Sounds like somepony’s awake,” chimed a familiar voice. Eric got to his feet and saw Azure in her kitchen making breakfast; she was looking at him over her shoulder. “You hungry?” she asked.

“Actually, I am a little hungry,” Eric admitted. “Are those pancakes I smell?”

“Good nose,” Azure said with a chuckle. “It’s my specialty. I love pancakes.”

“Meh, I prefer waffles,” he quipped.

“Sit down,” she said, rolling your eyes.

“As you wish, milady,” Eric said with a mock bow before he sat down at the table.

“What do you want to drink?” asked Azure. “Water, milk, orange juice, coffee, tea…”

“I’ll take the OJ,” he said.

“Sure thing,” she smiled as she poured Eric a cup of juice and served it to him along with his pancakes.

“Excuse me if I’m being too formal, Eric” said Azure. “I had a job waiting tables before I started working at the coffee shop.”

“I was just about to ask,” he said. “You’re not expecting a tip, are you?”

“Just eat your breakfast,” Azure said, stifling a chuckle.

“Yes ma’am,” said Eric

After finishing his breakfast at Azure’s house, Eric decided to head home so he could take a shower. Before he left, Azure gave him a quick kiss goodbye, and he spent the entire walk home replaying that kiss over and over in his head.

When Eric finally made it to his house, he took out is key and tried to unlock the door, only to find out that it was already unlocked.

“That’s weird… I could’ve sworn that I locked the door when I left last night.” Eric scratched his head, wondering what could’ve unlocked his door, but then he remembered what usually waits behind the door when it’s unlocked. “Oh, shit!” he said as he opened the door and rushed inside. Just as he feared, his house was in a chaotic mess, and the usual culprit was sitting on a floating couch above him.

“Dammit, Discord!” Eric yelled in frustration.

“There you are!” he said. “About time you got home! Where were you? I thought I told you to tell me everything when the date was over.”

“Did you really expect me to tell you anything?” Eric asked.

“I at least deserve an explanation as to why you didn’t come home last night,” Discord argued.

“The hell you do! You don’t even live here!” the human harshly reminded.

“Throw me a bone, will you?” said the draconequus. “I only want to know because I want to help you out with the mares.”

Eric rolled his eyes. “Well, if you must know, I spent the night at Azure’s house.”

Discord’s eyes widened upon hearing this, and he clapped his hands together. “Well, well, well. You finally made a move,” he said. “I knew you couldn’t resist your feelings towards Azzy for long. I didn’t think you had it in you, though.” The draconequus put an arm around Eric’s shoulder. “So, tell me everything. Did she give it up easily? Were you her first, or has she been around the block? Did the carpet match the drapes? Hardwood floors, or shag rug?”

“I didn’t have sex with her, Discord!” Eric said, disgusted. “I’m not gonna sleep with Azure on our first night out. I have more self-respect than that, and so does she.”

Discord gave a frustrated sigh. “Did you at least kiss her, Eric?”

“Yes, yes I did,” he said with a satisfied smile.

“How long?”

“Two minutes.”

“Not bad. Not bad at all,” Discord said, followed by a chuckle. “Let’s see how long this lasts.” He snapped his fingers and poofed out of Eric’s house, returning it to normal in the process.

Over a week passed since Eric and Azure’s first kiss, and the two became much closer since then. Azure had Eric over to her house, several times, but Eric never invited her over to his house out of fear that Discord might ruin their time together. The mare didn’t seem to mind, though. As long as she got to spend time with him, she was happy.

Discord silently observed the progression of their relationship, and he was not impressed by its progress (or in his opinion, the lack thereof). On Monday, while he and Eric walked to work, he decided to voice his concerns.

He chose to start with a casual question. “So, how have you and Azzy been lately?” he asked.

“We’re good, Discord,” Eric answered.

“Just good? It’s been nine days since you guys first went out. Haven’t you guys been on any dates since then?”

“I did take her out to dinner last night,” said Eric.

“That’s it?” Discord asked in disbelief. “Eric, if you want to get anywhere with Azure, you need to do something more.”

“She doesn’t seem to have a problem with it,” Eric said. “I’m not gonna risk making her uncomfortable.”

“Aaaand there’s your problem. You don’t take risks,” Discord pointed out. “I always take risks, and look at my love life. I have a marefriend that’s hotter than yours. Plus she has a bigger flank, so there’s more cushion for the pushin’!”

“With the way you’ve been treating Celestia lately, I doubt that she’s been letting you do any pushin’ in her cushion lately.”

“Pfft! Whatever!” said the draconequus. “At the rate you’re relationship is going, you won’t be doing any pushin’ either.”

“I’m not in this for sex, Discord,” Eric reminded him. “I genuinely love Azure.”

“I genuinely love Celestia,” Discord said.

“Forgive me if I find that hard to believe,” said the human.

Discord furrowed his brow at Eric. He did have a point. While Discord really loved Celestia, he hasn’t really been treating her like he did. Actions speak louder than words after all. He’d have to change that, not just to get back on Tia’s good side, but also to prove Eric wrong.

Meanwhile, Eric was deep in thought as well. Was he actually having a genuine conversation with Discord? If somepony that didn’t know them passed by, he or she would’ve assumed that Eric and Discord were friends. The mere idea made the human shake his head in disgust. Still, though, was he finally getting used to having Discord around after a year of having to put up with him?

Eric and Discord finally made it to the bookstore, and they put their respective thoughts aside.

Later that day, when Eric left to go to lunch, Discord gave a sigh of relief. “Hey, Print Stock?” he called.

“Yes, Discord?” answered the poegasus.

“Can I take a quick break?” asked the draconequus. “I need to make a personal call.”

“Sure. Take all the time you need,” said Print.

“Thanks,” Discord said as he excused himself from the store. Once outside he took out his phone and started dialing. “I don’t treat Celestia right, huh?” he mumbled to himself as he put the phone to his ear. “We’ll see about that.”

Discord waited as the phone rang. He silently hoped that Celestia wasn’t ignoring him. Thankfully, that fear was lifted when the princess answered the call. “Well this is a surprise,” she said dryly.

“Oh, come on, Tia. You’re starting to sound like Chrysalis,” said Discord.

“I have a lot of paperwork on my hands right now. What do you want?” she asked, not in the mood for any nonsense.

“Well, it’s come to my attention that I have been neglecting you lately, so I wanted to make up for it,” he said. “Are you free tonight?”

Celestia paused, not because she was thinking, but because she was surprised that Discord was actually making plans for them to go out. Because of this, she decided to take him up on his offer. “Well, if I skip my break today, I should have some free time aside for tonight,” she said, trying to sound like she wasn’t that interested.

Discord could see right through her, but he decided to play the part of the unassuming boyfriend. “Oh, great! It’s a date then! Meet me at the fountain in the city square at eight, okay?”

“Sure,” Celestia said casually, trying to hide her excitement.

“See you tonight, then!” Discord said happily as he hung up the phone. “That’ll teach Eric to doubt my commitment,” he said to himself.

Meanwhile, Eric walked into the coffee shop to look for Azure Gem, but he was surprised to see that he wasn’t there. In her place was one of her coworkers, Decaf, a brown earth mare with a mane and tail of a darker brown. Eric decided to ask her if she’d seen Azure.

“Hey, Decaf,” he said.

“Hi, Eric,” she said back. “You must be looking for Az, huh?”

“Yeah,”

“She called in sick today, so I’m filling in for her,” the mare explained.

“Oh, okay. I’ll have to pay her a visit after work today,” said Eric. “Thanks for letting me know, Decaf.”

“No problem!” she says.

“Looks like I’ll be having lunch solo today,” Eric thought. As he made his way to the usual lunch spot, he spotted Luna across the street. “Or maybe not…” He called the princess’s name and waved to her. When she saw him, a smile appeared on her face and she crossed the street to greet him.

“Good afternoon, Eric!” she said happily.

“Hey, Lulu,” he said.

“Shh! Don’t call me that out loud. The nobles might hear you,” Luna said with a chuckle. Calling the princesses by nicknames rather than formal titles tended to rub some of the Canterlot nobles the wrong way. Most of them were just suitors that were jealous of how close Eric and Azure were to Luna. She was the only available princess since Celestia had Discord, Cadance had Shining Armor, and Twilight was too occupied with her studies. Luna found all their bellyaching very humorous, and she simply waved off their complaints.

“You can never resist making a joke about that,” Eric remarked.

“And why not?” Luna asked. “I think it’s amusing that they think that I want to tie myself up with marriage so soon. I’ve been imprisoned in the moon for a thousand years. I want to spend at least twenty getting reacquainted with the world before I even think about marriage. I don’t age, so what’s the hurry?”

“Okay, first of all, it’s ‘tie myself down’,” Eric corrected. “But I do see your point. You have the advantage of prolonged youth, so you want to use that advantage to its fullest.”

“Exactly! What do I care if some sticky noble wants my hand in marriage?” Luna said with a hearty laugh.

“Stuck up,” Eric corrected again. “Sometimes I wonder if you misconstrue figures of speech on purpose because you know that I’ll correct you out of impulse.”

“Oh, darn! I’ve been found out!” the princess said sarcastically. “I guess there’s no fooling you, Eric!”

“I guess not,” he said with a chuckle.

“Don’t look now,” she said, looking across the street. “I see a disgruntled noble across the street looking at you.”

“Should I let him know I’m not interested in you?” Eric asked.

“No, let him think that he has competition,” Luna said deviously. “As they say, hatred shall continually persist.”

“You mean ‘haters gonna hate’?” Eric asked.

“Precisely!” Luna said as she and Eric walked to their usual diner. When they got seated, Eric took advantage of Azure’s absence to talk to Luna about Discord’s… “concerns” with his relationship with Azure.

“So Discord is insisting that I take the relationship to the next level, but Az and I have only been dating for a little over a week,” he explained. “I don’t want to rush anything.”

“That’s a good mindset to have,” said Luna. “I’ve lived in the modern world for a while and I’ve noticed that a considerable number of relationships have ended because one or both parties decided to rush things.”

“Exactly!”

“Although…” the princess said ominously.

“Although what?” asked Eric.

“I know you won’t like this, but just listen,” she disclaimed. “I think that Discord is just concerned for you.”

Eric said nothing. He merely looked at Luna with a raised eyebrow, wondering if she actually heard what was coming out of her mouth.

“All I’m saying is that maybe, just maybe, Discord is trying to be a friend to you,” she suggested.

“By trying to mess up my relationship?” Eric asked in disbelief.

“He was just giving a suggestion,” Luna defended. “He could just be trying to reach out to you.”

“I’m impressed that you can say those words in that order with a straight face,” said the human.

“It’s not a completely absurd idea, Eric,” said the princess. “Think about it. Discord doesn’t have any male friends to relate to. Maybe he’s realized this and wants to make a connection with you? I’m not saying you should follow his advice; in fact, that’s a very bad idea. I’m just saying that you should consider the possibility of Discord being your friend.”

Eric decided not to respond and let what Luna just said sink in, on the off chance that she was actually right.

As Eric and Discord walked home from work, Discord once again tried to, in Luna’s words, “reach out.”

“So how was your routine lunch with Azure?” he asked.

“She stayed home from work today,” Eric answered. He figured that if Discord really was trying to reach out to him, he might as well give the guy a chance. “I’m gonna visit her later this evening.”

“Oh, perfect!” Discord said excitedly. “I’m going to be your wingman!”

“I really don’t need a wingman for this,” Eric said. “I don’t want you following me to Azure’s house.”

“I’m not going to follow you,” Discord explained. “I’m going to give you more confidence.”

“What?”

“I can change anyone’s personality,” he explained. “In your case, I’ll make you more confident and assertive.”

“Yeah… thanks, but no thanks…” said Eric.

“Come on,” the draconequus begged.

“I said no, Discord,” Eris said, raising his voice.

“You’ll thank me later.”

“No.”

“Azzy will love it!”

“No.”

“It’ll make your relationship better.”

“NO!!!” Eric yelled.

Discord frowned angrily and snapped his fingers, trapping Eric in an immobilization spell. “I’m doing this for your own good,” he said as he tapped the human’s forehead, making his colors appear desaturated.

“So, you’re gonna be more aggressive, right?” asked Discord.

With his personality altered, Eric chuckled and looked the draconequus in the eye and said, “Of course. How else am I going to take my relationship with Az any further?”

Discord grinned at the human. “Thatta boy!” he said.

Author's Notes:

That can't be good... What do you think will happen?