"Ah, Steelport. Such a vibrant city."

"You do realize it's a simulation right?"

"Shh, Kenzie. You're ruining the moment."

"Oh, my bad. I thought it was already ruined by the swarm of aliens attacking you!" stated the techgirl, her voice having steadily raised in volume.

Bishop, aka Saints Boss, aka Celebrity, aka President of the (motherfucking) United States, finished reloading his assault rifle by slamming the bolt release. He then lifted the rifle over the wall and blind-fired as a laser show played out overhead. Large parts of the building were scorched or flaked off by the laser fire. A couple seconds later, the bolt locked to the rear again, causing Bishop to draw his rifle back into cover and eject the magazine.

"I fail to see how that's related," he stated as he set his rifle aside and picked up a RPG. Standing out of cover, he aimed at a cluster of vehicles that the aliens were using as cover. A click of a trigger and the missile flew out, slamming into one of the vehicles and causing a chain reaction that blew apart half the street.

"Tell me someone saw that!" he shouted as he ducked back behind the wall, tossing the used launcher aside.

"Sadly, I did but you still have a quarter of the city worth of aliens trying to gut you," Kenzie reported. Bishop sighed. The girl was such a killjoy but she was very helpful when it came to this tech game.

"They won't gut me. They'll just shoot me until there's nothing left of me but a bloody mess," Bishop replied as he popped up out of cover to shoot accurate bursts at the aliens with his M4. He was up for only a couple seconds before he ducked back down from a near miss.

"Actually, your virtual body would dematerialize long before you became a 'bloody mess'."

"Thanks Kenzie."

"Anytime. By the way, the Command CID is near you if you want to get rid of your notoriety."

"Why thanks Kenz, didn't think you cared."

"Oh, I don't," she replied, "I just need you for another mission."

Bishop chuckled as he shook his head. Taking his rifle, he slung it tight against his back and drew his pistol. He took a second to collect himself before focusing his mind into a jump. Finally, he pushed upward with his legs and entered the sky.

"Whoo-hoo!" he shouted as he soared over the alien forces. As he reached his apex, he began to look around through the purple tinted visor of his helmet. He wore the same spec-ops armor he had on when he took down Cyrus. He liked it as it made him feel more hero-ish. It also protected him a lot more than a dress shirt and slacks.

Seeing the golden orb that was the Command CID, he turned himself toward it as best he could. Lasers stabbed into the air at him but he was able to land without getting hit. As soon as he landed, the CID took off, Bishop taking off after it at a super sprint.

"You are quite the bother Mr. President," came the voice of Zinyak. Bishop groaned as he flipped over a police car, firing his pistol through the roof into the driver. Landing, he continued chasing after the CID.

"And you're quite the asshole, get to the point," Bishop ordered as he followed the orb over a small house. Landing, he continued sprinting, not tiring.

"Well, I'll just say this: the catching of this CID may have... strange consequences."

"The fuck? What's that mean?" Bishop asked. The alien didn't reply, but Kenzie did.

"Boss? I'm getting a strange fluctuation in the codes. Zinyak is updating them with... something."

"Pretty vague, Kenzie," he was catching up to the orb now. Thirty meters out.

"Hang on, I'll look into it."

Pushing it to the side, Bishop focused on the Command CID. He continued to close in. Twenty meters. Fifteen. Ten. Five. Three. Got it. Grabbing the antenna, he swung it around and slammed it into the asphalt.

"Wait Boss, it's a trap!" Kenzie shouted.

"Too late," Zinyak stated right after. The golden orb's eye turned red as it looked up at Bishop. With a flash, Bishop (and one of his cars) was gone from Steelport. The CID's eye returned to normal and began to float around as if nothing happened.

"Boss? BOSS!"

---

Bishop opened his eyes to see something green below him. It was when the wind began howling and the green began getting closer that he realized he was FALLING!

"Oh, what the fuck!" he shouted, stretching out the last word as he fell. Looking to his left, he paused his shouting due to the fact that his Pacemaker was falling beside him. The black and purple sports car with tinted windows and purple, low profile rims was his pride and joy and it was FALLING TO THE GROUND!

"Fuck you Zinyack!" he shouted as he tried to swim to the car. To his surprise, it worked and he found himself getting closer and closer to the car. He also noticed that the car had giants packs strapped to it's hood and trunk.

"Why does the car get parachutes?!" he screamed as he continued his swimming motions. Looking down, he saw the ground, and a small village, getting way too close for comfort. Swimming faster, he got closer and closer to the car. Reaching the car he ripped the door open and climbed in, ignoring the broken physics involved with that series of motions.

Closing the door, he looked around his car. The passenger seat was empty but the backseat had a couple bags and cases on it. Bishop raised an eyebrow at it. He definitely did not have those in there back in Steelport. Looking back at the dash, he noticed a big red button. Bishop pressed the button and watched as the parachutes deployed.

Now safely drifting to the ground, he took a moment to make himself comfortable. First was removing the rifle from his back (which had been digging into his back) and setting it on the passenger floorboard. Next he took off his helmet and tossed it unceremoniously onto the seat. Running a gloved hand through his short, black hair, he leaned his seat back and put his hands behind his head. Closing his hazel eyes, he let a smile come to his face as he drifted to sleep.

He had his car, gear, and wasn't falling to his death. This wasn't too bad.

Tap, tap.

Tap.

"Huh?" Bishop mumbled, stretching as he woke up from his nap. Wiping his mouth, he put the seat back up and looked out the windows. Around him was a scene that made him wipe his eyes to make sure it was actually happening. He was in the park of some medieval village with buildings made of wood and straw. The colors were vibrant and seemed to jump out at him.

There was also a shit ton of little horses standing in a circle around the car. A cyan, winged horse was tapping the driver side window with it's hoof. It's over expressive, cartoonish face taking on a look of confusion.

"Miller, if this is another one of your training simulations," Bishop muttered.

"Hello?" asked the... horse.

"Miller, this has already got to be the worst fanfiction, ever."

The horse looked back at the crowd. It launched into the air when Bishop opened the car door. He paused, an eyebrow raised. Using the pause, he grabbed his helmet and tossed it on his head. Fully opening the door, he stepped out of his car and stood up. The colorful horse, things, looked at him with shock and fear. Bishop looked back at them with curiosity and amusement, though it went unnoticed due to his helmet.

A blur of cyan brought a pistol into Bishop's right hand as he held it aimed at the winged horse that had been by his car. When he realized what it was, he lowered the pistol but kept it out. He noticed how dilated it's eyes were and deduced that he had frightened the horse.

"What are you?" the cyan horse finally asked in a feminine voice as it looked Bishop up and down.

"Good question," Bishop replied, startling the horse again. Though, this time it managed to stay planted on the ground. The two stared at each other as murmuring began to spread throughout the crowd. A look of annoyance grew on the winged horse's face. Finally:

"Well, you gonna answer?"

"Where am I?"

"What? You're in Equestria, duh! Everypony knows that!" it replied.

"Equestria?" Bishop asked calmly.

"Yeah, why?"

"Excuse me for one second," Bishop stated, much to the confusion of the winged horse. Holstering his pistol, Bishop climbed up his car to stand on the roof. Once on the roof, he leaned back, lifting both hands in a one finger salute to the sky.

"Fuck you Zinyak! Or Miller! Whichever one of you did this!" he shouted before dropping his hands and standing straight. Turning to the horse, he walked to the edge of his car and jumped off to stand in front of it again.

"Now," he breathed, "what do you want to know?" Next Chapter: Fourth Wall? What Fourth Wall? Estimated time remaining: 9 Minutes