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"Can You Feel Ze Schadenfreude?"

by Lab Matt

Chapter 5: Part 5: "I Am Prepared To Do Vhatever It Takes"

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ONE WEEK LATER

"Ready to charge!" Trixie said.

"Charge now, doctor." Big Mac said.

Both mercs turned bright red with glowing yellow eyes.

"I am bulletproof!" the Heavy Weapons Pony shouted while laughing.

Big Macintosh fired his Tomislav, destroying Pinkie's Sentry and Dispenser and killing Pinkie and Derpy.

Trixie screamed in pain the moment the Übercharge was over. Big Mac turned around and saw her lying on the ground, an Axtinguisher buried in her back. Standing right beside her was Spike, holding his Phlogistinator.

* * *

Big Mac respawned just a moment after Trixie.

"The Sentry is destroyed." Trixie said. "Good to go!"

Applejack nodded and left the Spawnroom.

"We have taken the enemy Intelligence."

"That was quick." she said. "Maybe Rainbow Dash--"

"Alert! The enemy has taken our Intelligence."

"What?"

"Stalemate!"

"What?"

She ran toward the Intelligence Room and found it with no briefcase lying on the table. Instead, there was a paper with a crudely drawn BLU Medic symbol in it. She levitated it in front of her face and turned it around. There was a message on the other side.

"What the...?"

* * *

Rarity entered the Intelligence Room. The briefcase wasn't there. Instead, she found a letter. There was a pink butterfly pinned to it. Pinkie, Spike and Derpy joined her. She cleaned her throat and started reading aloud:

"How embarrassing! To let a mare of science escape with the papers. If you want them back, meet me in Dustbowl and we will talk."

"Who's 'a mare of science'?" Pinkie asked. "A new class?"

"No. 'A mare of science' is clearly somepony who works with scientific stuff, like medicine. It's either Trixie or..."

"Let me guess." said Derpy. "Somepony related to pink butterflies, like that one pinned to the letter."

"Touché, my dear friend."

* * *

"But why would she steal our Intelligence?" Twilight asked.

"Revenge, maybe?" Rainbow Dash suggested.

"Fluttershy? Revenge?" Applejack chuckled. "No way!"

"Remember the way she killed you? Twice? She's changed, Applejack."

"Are we going to Dustbowl?" Trixie asked.

"It's not like we have a choice." Twilight answered.

* * *

Rarity, Spike, Pinkie Pie and Derpy were standing on Dustbowl's slope, looking down at the gate. They heard a gate opening behind them and turned around. Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Big Macintosh, Applejack and Trixie were there.

"Oh. It's you." Rarity said.

"So it really was Trixie who stole our papers?" Pinkie asked.

"How dare you!" the RED Medic mare said. "Trixie is many things, but 'thief' is not one of them. She was on her base when your Intelligence was stolen. Heavy and Demomare can confirm that."

"Hey!" Appleack angrily said. "Ah am not 'Demomare'. Ah have a name. And it's Applejack."

"Whatever."

"No fights, please." Rarity said. "We are here to solve some serious affair, not--"

She fell to the ground before finishing that sentence. There was a syringe buried in the back of her head.

"RARITY!" her teammates screamed.

She uncloaked herself next to her false body, holding her still recharging Dead Ringer.

"Whew. I'm so glad I decided to bring my Dead Ringer just in case."

They all turned around toward the direction where that syringe came from: the gate in the end of the slope. An yellow pegasus mare with pink mane wearing the BLU Medic uniform and a Blighted Beak mask was standing in front of it, holding a Crusader's Crossbow.

"Flu... Fluttershy?" Rarity asked.

The masked mare spread her wings and shouted:

"Raus, raus!"

All the gates opened and from them several blue robot ponies (and dragons) entered the area. They all look exactly like Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Twilight, Derpy, Big Macintosh, Spike, Applejack and Fluttershy.

"No Trixie robot?" the RED Medic mare asked angrily.

From the gate behind Fluttershy appeared a red Rarity robot carrying the RED Intelligence and a red Rainbow Dash robot, carrying the BLU Intelligence.

"So it really was Fluttershy..." Rainbow Dash said and looked down, her ears flat against her head.

"Where did she got all those robots?" Derpy asked, lifting her helmet so she could see them better.

"Probably from Gray Gravel Co." Pinkie said.

They all looked at her, surprised.

"What? It's written on them. 'Made in Gray Gravel Co.'"

"What's 'Shy doin'?" Applejack asked.

They all looked at Fluttershy, who had a raised hoof. She then lowered her hoof, pointing it at the mercs.

"Forward!" she shouted.

All the blue robots ran toward the group, attacking them.

"Retreat!" Derpy shouted.

They all ran away, scared. But Rainbow Dash. She stood there, looking at the masked mare.

"Fluttershy..."

A Rainbow Dash robot hit her with her Bat.

"Man, your skull's so soft you're making this easy!" she said with her robotic voice.

* * *

Rainbow Dash respawned in the RED Team spawnroom, looking down. Soon Trixie respawned.

"The flesh is weak..." she said.

The next was Twilight.

"Now that's downright embarrassing."

Applejack soon followed her.

"We're a sorry bunch a' losers."

Big Macintosh was the next.

"I hate robots!" he said, angrily stomping his hoof on the floor.

"Are you ok, Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asked.

"It's my fault..." she said.

* * *

Pinkie Pie was the last merc to respawn on the BLU Team spawnroom.

"Dagit, nagit, nabit, dagit!" she said, standing on her hindlegs, stomping her right hindhoof several times.

"We failed, men." Derpy said.

"Mon Dieu..." Rarity whispered, sitting on the floor.

Spike whimpered.

"You know what that means?" Derpy asked, pumping her Righteous Bison. "War against the metal ponies!"

"Heck yes!" Pinkie said, raising her Jag above her head.

Spike cheered and raised his Axtinguisher.

"But we can't do that alone." Rarity said. "Naither can the RED Team."

"What are you suggesting, soldier?" Derpy asked.

Rarity smiled, magically spinning her Your Eternal Reward on her horn.

* * *

"No! No way! Nein! Trixie refuses!" the Medic mare said.

"Think about it, Trixie." Twilight said. "Alone we can't do much damage, for we all have flaws. Flaws that the BLU mercs can cover."

"It's already hard enough working with Sparkle and half of her friends. Work with both halfs AND Sparkle would be too much for Trixie to handle."

"Forget about her!" Rainbow Dash said. "We can handle this without a Medic. I mean, we could before, why can't we now? I mean, we have my Mad Milk and Big Mac's Sandvich, right? Derpy has her Black Box, Rarity has her Dead Ringer..."

"Don't forget about Dispenser." Pinkie said happily.

"Yes, Pinkie's Dispenser too. And, in case of fire, we have Spike's compression blast and Twilight's--"

"Don't you dare to say 'Jarate'!" Rarity angrily said, pointing her Your Eternal Reward at Rainbow Dash. "That thing is disgusting and completely unnecessary."

"Alright, alright. No Jarate, then."

"But Trixie's Übercharges are extremely useful." Twilight said.

"We won dozens of missions since we joined this team without a single Übercharge. Why would it be different this time?"

"Trixie already got it." Trixie said, dropping her Medi-Gun. "She is useless. You don't need Trixie."

"No, Trixie." the Sniper mare said, placing a hoof on her shoulder. "It's not that--"

Trixie slapped Twilight's hoof away from her shoulder. "Enough, Sparkle." she walked toward her room. "I wanted to leave since the very beginning, anyway..." she closed the door and locked it.

"I think you hurt her feelings, Dashie."

"Feelings?" Rainbow Dash chuckled. "Isn't feelings for 'blokes what bludgeon their wife to death with a golf trophy', as you mentor used to say?"

"I am not my mentor, Rainbow Dash. He is a cold-blooded assassin. I'm--"

"And you're no different from him. You have more kills here than almost every serial killers out there."

"It's... It's not the same! The ponies I kill can respawn, so it doesn't count as a real kill."

"Yeah, yeah, try to avoid the truth. That's it, if you can."

"Calm down, y'all." Applejack said. "We're all friends here."

"I doubt it, Applejack!"

The Demomare sighed. "Look, RD, if that's about that time when Ah called ya 'nothing until ya learn how to be humble', Ah'm sorry, ok? Ah shouldn't have called you that. Yer an important member of this team, and nopony is perfect."

Rainbow Dash looked down.

"Now please, stop being so mean to everypony. Ah want the old RD, mah friend RD back."

Rainbow Dash sighed. "I don't know, AJ. You really hurt my feeling that day."

"Look who's talking about feelings now." Twilight said, crossing her forelegs.

"Twi, please." Applejack said looking at Twilight, then looked back at Rainbow Dash. "Please, continue."

"I forgive you, but under one condition."

"Ah'll do anything to have mah old friend back."

"Promise that it will never happen again."

"Ah... Ah can't promise that, RD. As Ah said, nopony is perfect. But Ah can promise that Ah'll be more tolerant from now on."

"Hm... I'll take it!" she smiled and hugged Applejack. "And sorry, Twi and Big Mac. Sorry about everything."

Twilight joined the hug. "We forgave you long ago."

"да!"

"Sorry for ruining the moment." Rarity said. "But there's an army of robots out there that we need to defeat."

"Yes, you're right." Rainbow Dash said. "I just need to do one thing before we can start." she knocked on Trixie's door.

"Go away!" Trixie shouted, startling them all.

"I wanted to--"

"I don't care! Leave me alone!"

She sighed. "I'll apologize later. Right now we have robot flanks to kick. Who's with me?"

They all cheered and left the RED base. Everything left was the sound of sobbing coming from Trixie's room.

Author's Notes:

Sorry for taking so long...

Next Chapter: Part 6 (FINAL): "Zis Is Unacceptable" Estimated time remaining: 13 Minutes
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