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"Can You Feel Ze Schadenfreude?"

by Lab Matt

Chapter 1: Part 1: "Velcome To Ze 'Ve-Lose-Once-Again' Fest"

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"I-Is somepony still alive here?" Fluttershy asked, holding her Übersaw trembling.
After a few steps she came across a destroyed Sentry and Pinkie Pie lying on top of her Dispenser.

"P-Pinkie? Are you ok?" she asked, poking her teammate, who didn't moved. She then noticed the hole on Pinkie's hard hat.

"Oh no..."

Splinters flew in front of Fluttershy's face face. She looked left and saw a hole on the wooden wall of the building beside her. The Medic mare felt something grazing on her mane and screamed. Without thinking twice she dropped her Übersaw before running as fast as she could.

"Hold still!" Twilight asked while reloading her rifle, standing on top of a building not too far from where Fluttershy was. She shot again, but missed.

"Nice aim, egghead." Rainbow Dash said sarcastically while reloading her Force-A-Nature.

"It was you who said scope is for foals and forced me to shoot with no scope." the Sniper mare replied.

"Ya shouldn't hear everythin' RD say, Twi." Applejack said, cleaning the blood on her Eyelander on her clothes.

"да." agreed Big Macintosh while eating a Sandvich.

Fluttershy tried going back to the spawn room, but found Derpy's body lying in front of the door, her head a few meters away from her.

"I-I'm not stepping on the blood." she turned around and found Spike's body lying not too far away from Derpy's, blood leaking out of his gas mask. Her eyes widened, her pupils shrank and she ran away once again, only to trip on Rarity's body. There were hole all over it and her hoof was extended toward the Ambassador lying in front of her. "She was probably trying to grab it when she--" her heart skipped a beat as she felt something poking her scruff. Fluttershy slowly turned around and met Rainbow Dash's cocky grin.

"Yo, what's up?" the Scout mare greeted and readied her Sandman. "Diagnosis: you suck!"

Fluttershy closed her eyes. She knew what was about to happen, but didn't wanted to see it coming. She waited. And waited. And waited, but nothing happened. She slowly opened her left eye and saw Rarity wearing a Rainbow Dash disguise, holding a bloody Your Eternal Reward and levitating her Dead Ringer.

"Oh dear, I've made quite a mess." she said while cleaning her Your Eternal Reward with a handkerchief.

"Ra-Rarity!" Fluttershy said and hugged her.

"They won't kill me that--" she looked around and noticed they were surrounded by stickybombs. "...easily."

Fluttershy looked over Rarity's shoulder and saw Applejack holding her Scottish Resistance.

"RD, you had one job. One bloody job!" she said.

Fluttershy wanted to scream, but the explosion was faster.

* * *

"That was an amazing killing spree." Derpy said, her eyes facing both Pinkie and Spike at the same time. "By the other team!" she sighed, sit on the floor, removed her helmet and pulled a muffin from inside it. "I just don't know what went wrong..."

Fluttershy was sitting on a bench, holding her Medi-Gun and looking at it.

"Are you ok, darling?" Rarity asked, taking off her mask and sitting beside her, putting a hoof on her back.

"Yes... It's just that... I... I..." she dropped her Medi-Gun and hugged Rarity, sobbing on her shoulder. Fluttershy's tears were staining Rarity's suit, but the Spy mare could care less about that. her friend needed a shoulder to cry on. Rarity hugged her and started patting her back.

"I can't do anything right." she said between sobs. "I always ruin everything. I can't hurt the REDs, I'm too afraid to follow you guys to the battlefield, I always die before my Übercharge is ready..."

"It's ok, darling. It's ok."

"No, it's not ok! I'm a Medic who can't do anything right. I'm useless!"

"That's not true."

"It is true. Why do you think they agreed in letting our team have me as an extra member? Because I am dead weight. There's no difference in me being here and not here!"

"Fluttershy..."

The Medic mare got up and galloped away, still crying. She entered the infirmary and locked the door. She lied down on the stretcher and cried more.

Somepony knocked on the door, probably Rarity, but she ignored. After she was finished crying she just lied there, looking at the wall. Fluttershy noticed an envelope on her table, got up and grabbed it.

"Oh. That's right." she said, remembering the conversation she had with her instructor and predecessor.

~ ~ ~

"And zis is ze infirmary." the BLU Medic said. "Zis is your domain. Your kingdom. Your palace."

"I-Impressive..." she said, looking around.

"Zat cabinet is vhere I keep ze deadly poisons. Dip ze needles of your Crusader's Crossbow on zem at least once a week."

"De-Deadly poisons? I-I thought you could use it to heal your teammates as well."

"Placebo effect, mein little pony. Placebo effect."

"I-I understand." she looked down and noticed she was stepping on a yellow envelope. "What's that?"

"Zis is mein secret project." he grabbed the envelope and placed in on the table. "I'm not sure it vorks, but you can try."

"What does it do?"

"Let's just say it turns you into an Übermensch!"

"A Superman?"

"Ja, mein little pony. I intended on testing it during my retirement from zis team, but now I have a pretty little assistant that vill do zis for me, right?"

"R-Right!"

"Doc, come on, man!" said a young male voice coming from the other room.

"Jawohl!" he answered. "Vell, time to go. Auf wiedersehen, fräulein. Make ze Mediks of ze world proud!" he patted Fluttershy's head, grabbed his luggage and left.

"I'll try." she said quietly.

~ ~ ~

"I tried, Medic. I tried. But I failed you. I failed all the Medics of the world." she said and held the yellow envelope in front of her face. "But the Übershy will not fail you. She will not fail anypony else. Because she is the Übermensch! The Überstute!"

Author's Notes:

Hello once again. This time I bring you another crossover fanfic! I love crossovers.
Well, same as always; English is not my native language, so point the errors and I'll fix them.
Thanks again and, as always, I'll see you in the next part!

Next Chapter: Part 2: "Another Successful Procedure" Estimated time remaining: 44 Minutes
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