My face was calm and relaxed as I smiled down at her, playing with the colourful strands of hair that were out of place. She was still passed right the heck out, half on the couch and half on the ground, drooling into the cushions of the sofa while she snored dully. I managed to make my way around her without even causing a stir, and looked down at her more clearly from my feet. We had fallen asleep down in the living room rather quickly, too quickly for me to have scolded her for being up late or sent her up to her bedroom. I anticipated she might wake up in the middle of the night dazed and sick and run back upstairs, but there she was at my side still.

I bent down and wrapped my arms under hers, gripping her body and feeling the lithe outline of it as my still drowsy muscles lifted her up. Rainbow leaned her head against me in her slumber, lying there in my arms for a moment as I placed her onto the couch and adjusted her body until she seemed comfortable. I pulled the quilt over her and watched as she turned a bit, nestling into the warmth like she had missed it.

After a wild goose chase around her kitchen, I managed to wash enough scarce dishes and scrounge up enough ingredients for a home-cooked breakfast. I didn't bother starting it until around noon, surmising she would not crawl out of bed until then, knowing her. I kept it warm in the oven while I scrubbed her counter tops, cleaning what I could while she was still out of it. I had just washed my hands up and started the dishes soaking when I heard her move around.

Her groans were pained and sullen, her body rolling off the couch as she touched her feet to the ground and dragged herself across it. Her eyes were narrow and still half-asleep as she rubbed them over and over while staggering into the kitchen. She furrowed her brows at the sight of me standing there, like she didn't remember, but then she just weakly waved and leaned against the refrigerator to keep herself upright.

“Mornin' sugar cube, how're y'feelin'?” I asked gently as she winced at my words.

Rainbow didn't even reply at all, she just touched her head and rubbed it a bit, seeming like she was more than dizzy. She raised one wavering, trembling finger and held it out, like she was telling me to wait. She stepped an uneasy step backwards and groaned almost inaudibly, grasping at the wall to keep her upright.

Turning suddenly, she darted up the stairs towards the bathroom, her toes stubbing on steps and her knees bending and wobbling. I turned the oven down a bit to make sure the warm-kept food wouldn't burn, and followed after her. I could hear her from the bottom of the stairs, seeing as how she probably didn't have time to shut the door behind her. I touched the rail and felt the smooth, sanded and stained wood like it was interesting before I decided it was time to get moving. Looking at my feet, I slowly crept up towards the second floor, the erratic rhythm of her laboured breathing, scarce cries, and forced chokes a stark contrast to the slow and easy steps of my own two feet.

I stopped at the top of the stairs, peering around the corner of the hall to see just a bit of her, leaning over the toilet in a heap on the bathroom floor. Another heave of her shoulders accompanied a cough that rang out pathetically, though by then I think she was finished. Her shaking hand stretched out and ripped some toilet paper off the roll, which she hadn't bothered to hang up on the bar for easy access, and wiped her mouth, throwing the white fabric into the toilet after. Her hands clutched the toilet bowl roughly as she stared into it, waiting for more. As nothing else seemed to rise from her stomach yet, she slapped at the flush handle, missing twice before managing to pull it down.

I stepped up the last step to the second floor and approached her, leaning a bit to the side so see her body come into view as the door frame widened and moved out of obstruction. She pushed off the toilet and landed on the ground, her legs bent up under her and her open palm smacking the cold tile as her ran her fingers through her messy hair, brushing the yellow and orange strands over the blue and purple. I stood in the door way and looked at her, my eyes worried and sincere. She must have heard me or something, because she looked over with a tired and miserable expression, her eyes watering and bloodshot.

“Go away,” Rainbow murmured weakly as she numbly waved me off, “I don't want you to see me like this.”

“Too late.” I replied as I stepped into the bathroom, kneeling beside her as she made it her mission to turn and keep away from me, holding herself and inching across the tile floor. “You're too proud, y'know that?”

“Whatever.” She grumbled as she tried to crawl away, but overwhelmed by her empty stomach and reeling head, she just sort of laid on the floor and curled up to herself.

“Hey,” I followed her and gingerly slipped my hand under her head, lifting it up and turning her body around to face me, “That can't be too comfy.” I told her as I raised her a bit more, shuffling my bent knees under her torso as I wrapped my arm under her shoulders and around her stomach, holding her against myself.

“Applejack,” Her voice was raspy and beaten, her eyes half-lidded as she looked up at me, tears staining her pale skin and puffing up her beautiful eyes. “You don't have to take care of me, I'm not a child.”

“Y'act like it.” I smiled a bit as she tried to laugh, choking a bit and shaking in my arms as she stifled it to get a hold of herself. I reached up and moved her hair a bit so she could see better, and I slowly let out a sigh. “C'mon sugar cube, why you gotta do this t'yourself?”

“I don't like, plan it or something,” Rainbow Dash responded while she cleared her throat a couple of times, her voice very hoarse and scratchy, “It's not like I say, hey, you know, tonight I'm going to poison myself, I'm going to lock myself up and see how much it takes for my body to stop working.”

“Whether you plan it or not, seems like y'do a fine job of it.” I reminded her as my eyes softened on her face, which was sick and all but colourful the way the rest of her was. Her skin was pale around the edges, her eyes sunken and shadowed with purple loops and lines, her cheeks pink and plush, and her lips a chapped red.

“Guess you're right,” She nodded slowly as she realized it, leaning her head against my chest for a moment before her tired eyes jumped up to mine, “You know, this is the only clear time of day, when I'm lying here in this, this toxic, writhing mess. This is the time when I consider quitting all this drinking shit, when the afternoon or morning sun, whatever it is, when that streaks in and freaking blinds me, catching on the stupid white tile floor.”

I listened closely, but wondered aloud, “Then why don't you?”

“I guess I can never make a real decision about it. I mean, most any morning, here I am curled up by the damn toilet, and there's this wrenching twisting pain in my stomach, and, and my mouth tastes like bile and stale vodka, and the roof is spinning in my pounding skull and I'm choking and coughing and shaking something violent, and my body doesn't feel real or responsive or anything. It feels kinda like I'm dying, like I'm puking up my guts and my lungs and my, whatever else is in there.” She rambled a bit as her hands played the story out in front of her, and I watched on from the other side, “But then the day drags on, and here I am all by myself, no one looking in or telling me what's right and healthy and reasonable, and I'm bored and I'm hurt and I'm so damn lonesome, y'know? And then I take a swing, and everything seems better, because, like, how can it be wrong or anything to do what makes it all go away? And so I do it again and again because, because for like a moment, just a moment, A.J., I forget anything else.”

I nodded faintly as her words wrapped around me, a verbal embrace so cold and honest it chilled me to the bone. I knew then that there was very little I could say to make all that trouble go away, but I did my best, “Ah'm sorry, Rainbow. Ah can't even imagine what you're goin' through.”

“You lost your parents too, Applejack, you kind of do.” She spoke up, but I immediately shook my head.

“Ah was too young to know much different. Ah don't even have any memories of them, but you,” I paused as I fought off a frown from tugging at my chin, “That's all y'got.”

“I don't know about that,” She smiled a bit as she chewed at her lip, avoiding my eyes for a second as she squirmed a bit in my arms, “I mean, I'm not entirely alone. You're here, whether I want you to be or not.” Her fingers balled up and she reached over, punching me in the shoulder so lightly it felt like a child was doing it, “You found a way to break in and hold me captive in my own house. I can't ask for much more.”

“Y'lunatic.” I smirked as I extended my fingers and pressed my palm against her goofy face, covering it for a second before I ran my hand over her head, pushing her hair back. “Well, if you're hungry, Ah made y'some breakfast.”

“I think I just made room.” Rainbow Dash smiled and groaned as she tried to get up, accepting my help as I supported her efforts.

I helped her woozily down the stairs with an arm around her, taking her into the dining room and sitting her down at an actual table while I gathered her plate. I brought it in and placed it in front of her, witnessing her eyes lighting up at the sight of a colourful and fresh meal. She dug in greedily and ate so fast I wasn't sure she was breathing. I dipped back into the kitchen to grab one last thing, and asked for her input on it.

“What do y'want to drink?” I called as I opened her fridge, seeing a few options, most of which I think had yet to expire.

“Orange juice sounds awesome.” Rainbow replied with a mouth full of something, but I obliged her anyway. I poured her a glass of vibrant orange-coloured liquid and brought it over, placing it at her reach. “Thanks.”

I hadn't noticed her get up to get it or anything, but she reached down beside the chair legs and grabbed a tall, round somewhat-empty bottle of clear liquid, twisting off the cap easily and pouring it into the juice. I gasped at her lack of regard, “Rainbow! It's barely past noon!”

“Best cure for a hangover: get so drunk you forget you have a hangover.” She told me as she tipped the bottle to me with a wink, bringing the spiked juice to her lips and gulping it down.

“You're hopeless.” I told her flatly as she enjoyed her breakfast with a sly smile on her face. I shook my head and let it happen, knowing she was not about to change overnight.

We sat on the couch for most of the afternoon, arguing over the television. I rarely watched it in my own leisure, but when I did I was not so keen on letting someone with a short attention span at the controls. Finally we settled on watching some sports channel, where they replayed an old football game for our enjoyment. Now, both of us were more the kind to play sports rather than watch, but it was something we could argue about and comment upon while not missing any plot garbage. Less than half way through the game, Rainbow Dash got out of her seat and went to the kitchen for something, I didn't ask what.

I assumed the game was a rerun as I watched it, seeing as how they edited out a lot of the boring walking around and blabbering stuff. Besides, I think football was usually on Sundays or Mondays live, from what little I knew of television. I didn't even hear Rainbow Dash coming up behind me as I watched a particularly interesting play, a false hand-off followed by a toss half way across the field. I leaned forwards a bit as the ball flew through the air, and actually jumped and yelped in shock as I felt something ice cold touch the back of my neck.

“Ahh!” I shouted as I turned around and touched the now tender and cool flesh, gaping and gawking at the grinning face of my best friend as she snorted a laugh, “Rainbow, what're y'doin'?”

“Grabbing you a beer.” Rainbow Dash replied easily, pushing the bottle closer to me and waving it a bit from side to side like it was tempting. Her grin spread deviously as she let me in on a little secret, “That was pretty cute, A.J.”

I scoffed a bit as I ignored that comment, looking at the brown bottle, a bow-shaped red label wrapping around the neck with charming calligraphy and crowns scrawled across the middle. I knew I had to turn it down, “Ah ain't drinkin'.”

“A country girl turning down a beer? Now, that doesn't sound very down-home, does it?” Rainbow Dash teased me, bending over and leaning on the back of the couch so her face was near to mine, “Listen, if you want me to relax and open up a bit, you're going to have to get on down to my level. Mkay?”

“Ah dunno.” I said as my eyes traced the tempting bottle in her hands.

“Trust me, you'll love it. Be a good sport.” She forced it into my hands and left it there, coming back around the couch and looking around a bit, “Now, I'm sure I had a bottle opener somewhere around—”

I stopped her silent with the sound of the lid hissing as it came off in my teeth, which I then spat onto the coffee table. I brought the bottle to my lips and cast her a smug smile, taking the first refreshing and flavourful sip. Darn, it had been a time since I had a beer, and it was just as good as I remembered. Rainbow Dash shook her head and laughed, flopping down on the couch beside me and leaning her arm on the armrest as she grabbed her vodka again. She took a sip, though it was smaller than those I had seen her take yesterday, and was accompanied by a pleasant and content smile.

We sat there watching the football game the way we used to, just laughing and making passing comments as we nudged each other once and again. I liked it, I liked spending time with my best friend again. I really had been too long. None of my other friends were as similar to me or enjoyed the little things that I did. No, Rainbow stood out all by her self.

A while passed before she grabbed me another beer, which again I had not asked for, and when she returned I had sunk deep into the couch. I extended my legs over the coffee table, closing one eye as I shifted the focus of my vision from my wiggling, bare toes to the television that played on between them.

Rainbow Dash came around the couch and stood in front of me, stepping one foot over both of my legs as she leaned closer and placed the new, cold beer right there on my worn-old bronze belt buckle. She swung her other leg over mine and skidded uneasily a bit as she plopped down right beside me, a little closer than she had sat before. Kicking her own legs up onto the coffee table and slinking down in her seat so her shoulders touched the bottom of the cushion like mine, she knocked her bare feet into mine. She was a bit shorter than me, so she had to scoot down a little lower than I did to have her feet line up with mine, and she hit my feet with hers again, glancing over at me with a playful smile.

I cracked my fresh beer open and tapped it against the bottle she was holding over her midsection, the clinking noise a crisp and clean sound in the cluttered and dark room. As the subtle haze of liquor began to drift over us, I found that we became a mite more interested in the game than we should have. Before I knew it we were up on the edges of our seats yelling at the television and each other, calling out rules or suggestions or remarks.

“What kind of play was that? Come on, who's calling the shots here?” Rainbow Dash snorted as she waved her hands in frustration.

“It wasn't t'play that was s'darn flawed, that handoff was somethin' awful,” I argued as the replay was slowed across the screen, “Ah could see that ball switchin' hands from the cheap seats!”

“Oh, oh you think you could make that work?” Rainbow Dash chortled defiantly as she pointed at the television.

“As a matter o' fact,” I started to tell her, but she jumped upright in her seat.

“Well, come on then, do tell!” She nudged her knee against my thigh, gesturing for me to get up, “Come on, let's do it.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my seat, barely giving me the time to place my beer on the coffee table as she directed me around the couch to the foyer, putting her hands on her hips and looking at me sceptically.

“You really wanna know?” I asked antagonistically as I stood opposite her, cocking my head.

“I do, I really do. I'm waiting.” She opened her palms and displayed them to me, waiting for my instruction.

“All right then. See, my running back here, she may be fast, but she's a mite thin and frail,” I told her as I poked her in the stomach, feeling the lack of definition as she narrowed her eyes and frowned, “So Ah don't want her gettin' any kind of brunt force t'deal with, right? So Ah gotta make sure no one knows she's got the ball until she's well past the danger. That means it's real important that Ah perform a good handoff.”

“Okay, so how do you do that?” Rainbow asked me curiously as the rest of the game played on behind us.

“Ah'll show you,” I took her hands and guided them, bending her elbows and pressing her forearms close against her body, making a nice wide pocket for a ball. “Y'gotta give me a good area to put the ball, cause Ah'm just turnin' around and Ah need to do this quick, all right? Right, so one'a your hands gets tucked right here under your,” I swallowed as I avoided the word, knowing that she would understand what I meant as I pushed her hand right up under her breasts, my own fingers brushing against her, “Yeah, like that, and your other one goes down here, ready to close in 'round the ball.”

“Huh, yeah, that makes sense.” She nodded as she let me direct her, watching my movements. Her head snapped up and her eyes collided with mine, “Do it.”

“Do what?” I asked curiously as she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

“Do it, like, the handoff.” She growled obviously as she stepped back, putting her hands down on her knees and nodding at me to do the same.

“Oh, uh, okay,” I anxiously agreed and turned around, bending down as if I was receiving the snap. I cleared my throat a bit as I planted my feet, “Hike!” I said quickly, pretending to grab the football and turn around, stepping real close to Rainbow Dash as she brushed against me, her hands rubbing against mine as she took the fake pass, closing her arms around it and taking off past me.

“And she's off!" Rainbow Dash started to yell, "Look at that, the running back races across the field, leaving the opposing team in the dust! No one can run like her, and the crowd goes wild!” She called out with a laugh as she stuffed the pretend ball under her arm, pumping her other fist in the air as she ran in slow motion.

“What's this? The running back's big ol' head has obstructed her focus on the game,” I added as I hurried after her, forcing her into a breakneck sprint. Of course, I was already too close to her by then for her to escape, “Just feet from the end zone, and she stumbles over that pride o' hers!”

“Hey!” Rainbow Dash complained as I squeezed my arms around her, picking her up with ease and tossing her over my shoulder, “Applejack! Put me down!”

We laughed whole-heartedly as I spun around with her over my shoulder, though she was struggling and kicking like it would help. I carried her back to the couch and tossed her down on her back against the lush cushions, our breathing heavy with laughter as we settled down. By then, I had released my hold on her and instead leaned over her on the couch, holding myself above her. Our laughing subsided slowly as I looked up into her eyes, which for once were shining big and bright the way I remembered them. Before I could say anything, she broke into a more hysterical fit of giggles as some idea filled her head, and I raised an eyebrow wondering what it might have been.

“What're you laughin' at?” I asked her curiously, my knee digging into the couch as I lifted myself up a bit from hanging over her. A devilish grin spread across her face as her eyes rubbed coarsely against mine.

“Imagine what we would be doing if we had been watching porn instead.” Came her words, and my jaw dropped. I joined her in laughter but slapped her hard on the shoulder as a scold, pushing myself over and sitting at her feet instead.

She reached her hand out to me and I grabbed it, pulling her up in her seat so she was sitting upright again. She looked back over at the bottle of vodka that called her name so loud, and for a moment she did nothing more. But inevitably, she reached back out and took it, bringing it to her quiet lips and sucking back a toxic sip. I watched her sadly and mirrored the motion, at least not leaving her alone to do it.

I couldn't tell much when the dusk fell, Rainbow Dash always had the curtains drawn closed. But soon enough, the night fell around us as sure as the sun would rise again. We had already finished dinner a while ago, pizza as it was, that Rainbow ordered and got the guy to pass in through the window, since I wouldn't let her go near the door. I picked up the empty box and broke it in, stuffing it into the garbage before I put away some of the dishes I had left to dry.

I didn't realize how long I had been in her kitchen cleaning up, that is, until I saw her again. I turned around and nearly jumped out of my skin, finding Rainbow Dash standing there before me with this curiously calm expression. She just looked at me for a moment, and there was this silence between us that I really can't find the words to describe well enough. Finally, she came over to me, and her eyes dropped to the floor as her expression became somewhat shy or grouchy, chewing on her cheek.

“Applejack,” Rainbow Dash wiggled her toes a bit on the kitchen floor as she spoke, “Stop cleaning already. Can we, like, go upstairs for a bit? There's nothing on TV, or whatever.”

“Yeah, sure.” I agreed easily as I washed my hands up, drying them on the back of my jeans while she started up before me, grabbing her bottle and heading up the stairs.

I followed her shortly afterwards, once I dipped into the living room and shut off that television she left on. As I expected, I found her in her bedroom, sitting on the opposite side of her bed and taking a sip or two from that darn bottle that seemed to be attached to her hand. I noticed how dark it was in there, and walked over to her window where the drapes were pulled shut. Grabbing the folds with my hands, I yanked them open, but instead of a beautiful cityscape, I saw cardboard. She had duct taped all these broken-down cardboard boxes in front of her window, as if she was trying to keep the sun completely out.

Sighing lowly, I reached up and began to pry them out of the window frames, ripping them down and tossing them to the ground which was already covered in a mess. I finally plucked each fold and layer of cardboard out of the way and peered out, seeing the dark sky, the extensive constellation of buildings, and rolling hills beyond. I heard Rainbow Dash shuffle around and grumble something at my invasion, but she did not tell me to stop.

“It's a lovely night out, Rainbow.” I told her as I looked out with a much gentler sigh.

“I bet.” She retorted sarcastically, and I glanced over at her.

She was sprawled out on her bed with her arms folded up under her head lazily, her legs extended and crossed one over the other, facing away from me with a somewhat scrunched up expression. I didn't dare ask why she would not come over and have a look, in fact, I didn't need to. As I turned my gaze back out the window, I noticed the dim outlines of a swing set in the back yard, something that used to shine but was now overgrown and sagging. There were a few objects out in the grass too, toys or forgotten tools, things that must have been well used up until last summer. It was no wonder those things were boarded up out of view.

My eyes lifted up again as I searched the horizon, finding very minute traces of a tree line. Even from this distance, I could name and know each plush round of leaves and branches as they hung so far away. I smiled as I recognized them over the hills, and tilted my head a bit as I spoke again.

“Ah can see the orchard from here, y'know,” I told her, and she looked over at me at last with something of interest in her expression, “The East field, Ah think. Ah bet a good spell'a daylight would show us them bright red apples.”

“Yeah?” Rainbow's voice lifted a bit as she heard that, and I let the drapes slide slightly closed as I left them, “That's cool.”

“It's kinda funny, you ain't been to the orchard in, what, a good long time?” I reminded her as I sat down on the end of her bed, turning to look at her while I spoke, “But ain't nothin' much has changed.”

“I don't think that very much has changed in the whole time I've known that farm of yours.” She smirked a bit as she thought about it, bouncing one leg on the other, “Except when we painted the barn.”

“Oh, don't get me started on that.” I chuckled as I remembered the incident, “We got ourselves into that one, Rainbow.”

“I remember, we were rough-housing in the barn after you dared me to jump from the loft into the hay stack.” She sat up a bit as she recounted.

“Dared you? Ah didn't dare you, you read Darin' Do the night before and said that Darin', that she leapt out of a crumblin' temple, grabbed a vine and swung out over a gorge, landin' on a bush. Ah said that'd be darn near impossible, so you cooked up that crazy scheme.” I reminded her readily, shaking my head as I turned further around to face her.

“You remember all that?” Rainbow Dash curiously asked, but at my lack of response she smiled again, “Whatever the case, you were still bickering about it after I did it, so I tried to shut you up. Of course, I was pretty small, and that farm work made you into one hell of a threat. You shoved me right through the barn wall!”

“Ah did not! We were fightin' and you tripped over a rake!” I retorted in debate, but really I think I may have actually shoved her. “There was this big ol' hole in the barn, and Granny got s'mad she mad us fix it up ourselves and paint it back to red.”

“Except then the rest of that old house of lumber scraps looked really faded once we did, so she made us paint the whole thing,” Rainbow Dash snickered a bit and shook her head, “And if I'm not mistaken, I had to do all that with a cast on my arm.”

“Yeah, y'broke it in that hay-jumping stunt o'yours.” I nudged her legs, since they were the closest thing to me, and she scoffed loudly.

“I think I still have it around here somewhere, actually,” She rolled out of bed real wobbly like as she went looking for it, pulling an old box down from the top shelf of her closet.

She rummaged around a bit before she revealed it, a cast of her arm with this gap in the side where they cut it off. It was just as I remembered, all small and dirty and signed and such. She brought it over and stood in front of me, holding it between us as she turned it over in her hand. I noticed the three little spots of red barn paint on it as clear as day and touched them, running my fingers along them.

“R'member this?” I asked curiously as my eyes settled on the mark.

“Yeah, you were up on a ladder painting above me, you wouldn't let me climb up there even though I was better with heights than you, since you thought I'd fall again and break my other arm and be completely useless.” Rainbow rambled on a bit before she remembered the question, “You dripped those three drops on me before I even noticed, I got so mad thinking you might have got it on my hair or something.”

“Ah climbed on down and had a look, and once you stopped shoutin' at me you had a look too, said they looked like three little red apples. Ah told you, that ain't what apples look like, y'numbskull, so Ah painted 'em up right.” My fingers followed the brush strokes which had fixed the little drops into apples.

“Yeah, I wore those three apples on my arm for weeks.” She agreed with a nod as she went to put the cast away, shoving the box up where it belonged. “We were such little brats, weren't we?”

“Ah reckon so.” I concurred while she came back around and took another sip of vodka before she laid out on the bed in the same manner as before.

“That seems like a lifetime ago.” Rainbow Dash said quietly as she relaxed, her eyelids slipping over her eyes a bit as she became sullen again, “I feel like an entirely different person now.”

“We're always changin', Rainbow, that don't hafta be a bad thing.” I tried to remind her, but she scowled a bit and wouldn't look right at me.

“Our friends seem to think so.” Rainbow murmured as she stared at the bottle, debating whether or not to drink again so soon, I'd think.

“That ain't 'cause'a how you are, that's 'cause'a how you act all aggressive, or how they don't wanna face anything serious.” I said gently as I watched her struggle with her vice, just gazing at it and mulling it over.

She was quiet for a bit and I almost thought she had closed back in on herself, that is, until she suddenly brought up a conversation that did not seem very much like her to have, “Do you ever think about God, Applejack?”

“God?” I repeated, and she faintly nodded up and down as her sweet pink eyes traced the clear liquid, seeming like water in purity but so poisonous and evil it ought to have been red instead, “Well sure Ah s'pose, sometimes. Ah ain't much for that stuff, but sure, once in a while Ah think about it.”

“You think he cares when people are hurting?” Her eyes narrowed slowly, and she kept herself still as the thoughts streamed out, “To be honest, maybe I haven't been clear enough with him or something. I mean, did you know I haven't even cried about the accident, not after all this time? If he's not all knowing and stuff, maybe he just doesn't freaking see how much it hurts. Maybe I'm just not the kind of person capable of that.”

“Ah think we're all the cryin' kinda people, at times.” I told her, but she did not seem to agree.

“Anyway, I've been laying here, alone in this empty bed, for over a year now.” Her hands slipped around and squeezed at the covers, “Nights are pretty hard to get through like that, Applejack. And it's just like, the rest of the world may be asleep sometimes, but I'm not. I'm just laying here staring up at the sky, and still nothing happens.”

I had to be careful with my words, seeing her so calm and thoughtful was unnerving, I wasn't sure how she would react, “What'd y'want to happen?”

“Anything I guess.” Rainbow Dash kind of shrugged and looked up at her ceiling, but her next few words did not come out loathing or angry, “Maybe, maybe he should just drop the roof in on me, you know, to shut me up.”

“Y'shouldn't be thinkin' that stuff.” I warned her as my eyes ran over her seemingly relaxed body.

“I know. But it really makes you wonder, why do you think bad things happen at all?” She questioned as she tilted her head a bit on her arms, like she was making pictures in the little dots that hung above her, “Do you think, do you think he just sits up there and goes around squashing people, or do you think he just doesn't pay enough attention to stop those bad things?”

“Beats me, Ah reckon it'd be real hard to control quite everythin'.” I spoke honestly, kicking my feet back and forth over the end of the bed and I leaned back on my hands, pressing them into the covers right behind me to keep me upright.

“Right, I mean if people have freedom of choice, then how is anything that happens part of that divine bastard's will? I bet it's not. It's just a groundless way to try and rationalize random crap, it's probably easier to think it all freaking means something than face the truth.” Rainbow Dash argued simply, seeming less than invested in any idea of divinity, putting her faith instead in that liquid she gulped down between philosophical ideas.

“Y'never know that kinda thing, Ah guess.” Came my weak response. She sighed loudly and moved around, I could hear her body shifting over the covers of her bed as she did.

“For a while, I considered praying up there, telling him to fix things or something. But he won't do that, the die has been cast, the cards have fallen, right? You can't just pray and hope to change the past. I'd pray that it never happens again, but I really don't have that much more to lose.” It all sounded so awfully pathetic and melancholy, that is, until the last two words, “Except you.”

“That better not be why y'kept avoidin' me.” I grumbled irritably as I raised an accusing eyebrow at her. Really though, it made me feel kind of warm and happy to hear her say it. But this was not about me.

“If God exists at all, whichever God of whichever religion it may be, I don't want to pray to him, or her, or them.” She got back to the subject with a stern expression, “I mean, you shove so much love into the things you care about, stuff them right up and keep them really close to you, right? And you think that love, that it'll like protect them or something. But that's stupid, I mean come on, it won't. God's not just going to be like, oh I can't kill this innocent child, they're really loved. No, it's not like that. No matter how much love you inject into your friends or family or whatever, it's just going to come around and bite you.”

“Maybe.” I didn't like the way that all sounded, and as much as I didn't want to upset her, I didn't want her thinking stuff like that, so I told her something otherwise. “Ah dunno, Rainbow. Way I see it, is we ain't got much. So, in the face'a all that darkness, Ah want somethin' nice. If Ah were t'just up and die tomorrow, Ah'd like you to have known me real good, so that memory ain't never gonna fade. And if you were gonna die, well, Ah'd be even gladder that Ah got to spend this weekend with you.”

Rainbow Dash's face slowly shifted into a soft smile as she stared up above her, “Maybe he sent you.”

I blushed a bit as she said that, finding it oddly flattering. I remembered something then, and decided to spit it out between us, “Well, from what Ah remember o'what Ah heard 'bout Christianity an' stuff, Jesus Christ himself was dead for three days, over a weekend just like this. Then suddenly, out o'the dust, he rises back up.” I told her as I met her curious gaze, “Ah dunno if that's true or nothin', but it sounds kinda nice.”

“This, this mourning or depression or whatever, this is the kind of thing that lasts longer than just a few days, though.” Her face fell, but thoughtfully, “I think.”

“Dependin' on how long it takes that wound in your side to heal up.” I smirked as I reached over and poked at her liver, and she flinched, probably not understanding the reference.

“I don't get it.” She growled as she peered down at me from a body-length away, her body-length, in fact.

“Yeah, Ah didn't think y'would.” I nodded, and proceeded to enlighten her about it, “See, after Jesus was crucified and all, the Romans came back 'round, and found him dead. But them trained soldiers, they needed to make sure o'it, so one soldier went and stabbed his corpse, right there into that poor, tortured man's body. Kinda reminds me of what's goin' on t'your liver, is all.”

She blinked with surprise as she heard that, and finally she replied, “You know a lot about that stuff?”

“Nah, nothin' more than than Granny's mentioned in passing. Like Ah said, Ah ain't much for religions or myths or what have you.” I told her sheepishly, and really I was not too well taught on that stuff either, “My parents were kinda religious, though. That's what Granny told me.”

“You don't remember much about them, do you?” Rainbow Dash asked me, and I shook my head easily. The topic didn't unsettle me or anything, not at all, “Yeah, I guess you were pretty young. And what you would remember, it would probably be a lie anyway.”

“What'd y'mean?” My eyebrows lowered over my eyes and I heard some bitterness in her mouth.

“Well, when I was a kid, I used to think my parents had the perfect marriage, like they were made for each other. It was like, like one of those stupid sickening love stories, you know?” She shook her head and faked a smile, glancing at the bottle another once or twice as her eyes had no where else they wanted to look, “Like a damn fairy tale, like those books and movies we watched and watched over and over whether we really understood them or not.”

“What happened?” I asked her curiously, hoping it was not too personal to ask.

“Nothing, I don't think. It was probably always just a sham, I wouldn't have known the difference.” She shrugged apathetically, but went on, “See, my parents always seemed like the perfect couple. Seemed, as it was. Like, they dressed alike, they always knew what the other was thinking and could like, reason with them and calm each other down when they were angry. They even did that thing where they like reached over onto each other's plate and picked off what they knew the other didn't like.” Rainbow's eyes hit mine hard as she went on, “You know, like I do with your onions and your olives.”

“And m'pickles.” I added with a crooked smile, and she seemed to like it.

“And your pickles! Man, you're a boring eater, you know that?” She repeated pleasantly and nostalgically, “But anyway, my parents were like that, really good together. Or, you know, they seemed like it when I was a kid. Of course, I didn't know any better than to believe what I saw.”

“Ah'm sure they tried their best.” I said slowly, watching her reaction as she bit at her lip.

“Yeah, but I don't know if they should have. I mean, they stayed together for me or for Scootaloo, or whatever, but all that really did was warp what idea of love I adopted.” Rainbow's feet bounced up and down anxiously as she spoke of them, “My dad was an angry son of a gun, my mom, she was just like, a shell of a person by the end of it. I kept expecting them to get a divorce, but they never did. Just kept pushing through even though they were miserable. What kind of picture does that paint?”

“Diligence ain't somethin' to frown on. Ah'm sure marriage ain't easy, Rainbow.” I told her as I turned back around and folded my wrists over my knees. I felt her move around again, and noticed as she scooted up beside me and sat on the edge of the bed with me.

“It sure isn't. If my parents weren't already so fractured or broken or whatever, their marriage sure finished the job. Who am I to say if they were better off alone, of course.” She kicked her legs out and looked down at the ground as she spoke with me, honesty flowing out in droves between us in a way we had not done in a long time. “Mom found out that dad had been lying to her for some time, she was really torn up about it. She knew for so long, Applejack, but still she just rationalized it. She'd sigh and say things like, such is life, like, what can you do?, or it can't be helped.”

“We all cope differently.” My voice was quiet as I interjected, but she went on.

“Or we don't cope at all.” She smiled sadly as she recognized her own vice, and I watched her rub her hands together in her lap, “It just makes me kind of sad, you know. The days drag on like some measurement, like the sun going up and down cuts off each fragment of time, like it's that simple. And there's no end, we just live on and on and we rise and set like sections of time, and people sit next to us, or lay next to us in our beds, but we don't really know them. They're not really with us, we're all alone, all freaking alone, and if we're not, we will end up that way. Those people beside us or in our arms, they're the people who hurt us most, who shatter us and drown us. So yeah, such is life. Such is life, mom.”

“You really believe that?” I spoke so gently as my eyes settled on her, her words just sputtering about and smelling of a habit she could do without.

“I don't know, it seems right.” She shrugged and made a face, “But the part of me that was conditioned to believe in fairy tales, it stupidly still hangs on. Like, wake up, you stupid naïve little brat.”

“Just 'cause one love didn't last, Rainbow, it don't mean that it's impossible. Everyone's a little torn up, a little naïve and holdin' on a little tight to somethin' stupid.” I leaned against her for a second, supportively feeling her trembling body.

“Even you?” Her eyes ran up to meet mine, shaking with the intoxication that often drifted focus. But somewhere inside I could see that little bit of hope, that stupid naïve girl she spoke of, looking out.

“O'course, even me. There are a lot'a broken people, Rainbow.” I spoke in a long sigh, relaxing as I watched her listen carefully, her pink eyes still shimmering and admiring something she hadn't entirely lost. I reached over and took her hand, trying on a comforting smile, “Ah guess the only thing we can do is look real close, maybe hope t'find another broken person whose pieces fit together with our own.”

Her lips hit mine without warning and immediately she slipped her tingling, vodka-flavoured tongue into my mouth. It was so damn surprising I nearly chocked on her, but my body couldn't even move much at all. She passionately took me over, and for a second I was suspended in shock or ecstasy. As her free hand slid over my cheek almost tenderly, the hand in my own squeezed and her knees touched mine, her body pressing so near it terrified me.

I managed to move against her, but even I wasn't sold on whether I was pushing her away or kissing her back. I pulled back suddenly, my wide eyes grinding against hers as we sat there in silence and stillness. I was on my feet in an instant, and I had my hand over my mouth as I raced out of her room and rounded the corner at the stairs, flying down them so quickly my vision blurred about and I could have fallen right off my balance. I hit the foyer and wanted to keep going, wanted to break down the obstacle that I myself had placed to keep us in.

And there I was, at the front door, and the past two days flashed before my eyes.

I pressed myself up against the front door and hit it with my forehead, leaning one knee onto the balancing chair I had shoved under the door knob to keep it shut. I knew I couldn't leave her, I had put this chair here to remind me of that. Even if it all killed me, be it the booze or the shouting or whatever else she'd do to me, I knew I'd have to stick it out the whole weekend. She was my friend, that broken down, sorry-sick girl, she was my best friend.

I didn't know why she would do such a thing, but I guessed it had something to do with the topic and the mass amounts of liquor she had consumed since she threw yesterday's ration up. I felt the affected area of my lips and moved my tongue around, still feeling the slimy, taboo sensation of her tongue against mine and tasting the poison in my mouth. It wasn't that I hated it entirely, but it was unsettling and revealing, and for all I knew, meaningless. But again, this was not about me, it did not matter how upset or confused it made me, the entire reason I locked myself in here was for her. I could not go back on that now.

I shoved off the door roughly, so roughly I had to step back hard to keep from falling backwards. My arms swung back and forth as I made up my mind, and I turned on my heel, heading back up the stairs determinedly. I paused as my toes touched the final step towards the second floor, hearing the muffled, quiet sounds of something terribly upsetting. I peered towards her room, the door still pushed open from when I had charged out, the light sliding over the wooden floor.

My feet touched the cool wood with each bare step, each movement gradually pressing against the ground rather than stepping or stomping. I touched the door frame as I peered in, watching her small body shake, rising and falling quickly and erratically as she laid there on her bed, stretched out on her stomach with her face buried in her pillow. Her arms were wrapped around the plush object, holding it against her face as she fought off bursts of emotion that sounded an awful lot like crying. I leaned into the room, her sadness a beacon that pulled me towards her despite my fear and discomfort.

“You, you, you idiot,” I could barely make out her words through her horrid snivelling, her body shaking and jumping and falling apart around her. She was speaking to herself, “You stupid little, you, you stupid,” She couldn’t even finish, but her hand shot out and grabbed the bottle, which had become nearly empty I noticed.

She yanked it over and brought it to her lips, or at least I imagined she did, she was facing away from me you see, her bedside table on the opposite side of the bed from the door. Rainbow Dash tipped it all the way back, and I watched in solemn silence as every last drop poured down her throat, and even that did not satisfy her. My eyes were broken open and locked on her as she shook the bottle to get the last of it, and squeezed it, groaning angrily. My feet moved slowly into the room, the light catching on my clothes and skin as I closed some distance. With a pathetic whimper and shout, Rainbow Dash chucked her vice right over her shoulder, the glass bottle flipping and spinning menacingly through the air.

I reached out and stepped to the side, catching the emptied vodka bottle upside down in my raised hand. Rainbow Dash froze as the satisfying smash was not heard, and instead was replaced with the muffled sound of a catch. I could feel the few remnant drops of a seemingly empty bottle drip out of the mouth, hitting my long sleeve and my wrist, trickling down to my elbow. She slowly turned around, her body shivering with each stifled snivel, and her eyes met mine at last.

I witnessed her honest pain right there, right there in those seemingly bright eyes. Her lips quivered as she made for words, but for a few seconds silence was all that breached her throat. Tears were still moist on her cheeks and her eyes had become dark and red once more. I lowered my hand and her bottle, swinging my arm and lightly tossing the apothecary's popular poison onto some dirtied clothes in a pile by her closet.

“Applejack,” My name was on her lips, and it was rough and rueful, “I thought you, I thought you left.” Rainbow Dash sniffled a couple times as she acted like I couldn't tell what she was doing. I didn't respond, I just stepped a little closer to her, my bare feet peeling off the wooden floor and finding a soft spot on her rug instead. “Just leave already, did—didn't I make, make it clear enough? You stupid simpleton, just, just leave.”

I was still silent as I made it to her bed, and I slid my knee onto it, climbing over her messed, wrinkled covers despite the difficulty and making my way to her. She moved away from me, her eyes pleading and frustrated, not angry with me but with something. I reached out and touched her, taking her by the shoulders tightly and holding her still. She tried to fight me, shoving me away and arguing.

“Get off of me! Let go! You can't just—!” Her voice was stuffed with cries until I pressed her against myself, holding her head on my shoulder.

She still struggled, pushing me off as her arms were bent up between us. We sat there on her bed as she shook, yelling into my shirt incoherent statements as she violently attacked me. Her strength gave way abruptly though, and she held her whole body against me as her cries returned. It started off small, her tears and her words seeping into my shirt.

“I—I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry,” I made out between snivels and sobs, and I felt my heart in my throat, and quarrelled with a pathetic frown of my own, holding back threatening tears instead for consolation, “I'm sorry.”

Her cries were loud, they were passionate and violent, they were strong and forceful and compelling, they were riveting and unstoppable. I released my commanding hold on her to wrap my arms around her shaking form, rubbing her back comfortingly as she went on. I had never heard such horrible aching before, such driven sorrow. I gently rubbed circles around her, and though I wished I could ease her with soft shushing, I said nothing that told her to stop. I did not know when these emotions would breach her again, and she needed to express them.

She slipped down my body, her arms moving around me as we got comfortable. I could feel the damp spots on my clothes from her tears, the wrinkles on my collar, the bunched up folds of my shirt as she squeezed me for support. Finally, her head made its way to my lap, and she curled up, laying there facing away from me as I stroked her hair. I was kneeling on bent legs now, and though they were numbing and tired, I did not move while she was in my arms and on my lap.

I never before had to think about Rainbow Dash crying, such an idea never crossed my mind; but even if it had, I don't think I would have expected it to be anything like this. My chest got all tight to feel the formerly outgoing and dynamic Rainbow Dash reduced to a mere mortal in my arms. Her sobs finally subsided, but in their absence her body still heaved in each short, sharp breath, and still my hand ran over her head, soothing her as best I could. It seemed at last that all of her pent up frustration had been expelled. There was nothing more I could do for her than that.

She was calming down slowly, as my toes lost their feeling but the rest of me was full of it. I could feel her body shake against mine, and she moved a bit to get more comfortable, rubbing against me fondly. I heard her sniff once or twice as a comfortable silence fell between us, though it did not push us apart. She didn't flip over and look at me, but words escaped her.

“Did I tell you much about it, A.J?” It was so raspy and fragmented, coming out in specks and flecks and cracking the air into fractions as she spoke, prodding the silence and flicking it, “The crash?”

“Not much, all Ah know is that it was a drunk driver.” I replied honestly, my words soft and calm as they rolled out, trying to be supportive and give her a reason to go on and speak of these thing she had kept from me, “But Ah'm listenin', sugar cube.”

“You're right, it was a drunk driver.” Rainbow Dash nodded faintly in my lap, but her weakened fingers squeezed at me as she went on, “It was my dad.”

I paused in stoking her, closing my eyes and frowning as it all made sense suddenly, all this sickness and pain. She could not just blame some stranger, she had to blame the people she loved and the people she lost, “Y'mad at him?”

“Of course I'm mad at him! Because of that idiot and his stupid—” She stopped herself and her outburst, taking in a shaky breath to get back on the topic, and I went back to soothing her, “He took everything away from me, Applejack.” Rainbow Dash huffed a weak laugh and her voice got much calmer, “I remember exactly what we were talking about when it happened, you know that?”

“Y'do?” I asked gently, feeling her move around a bit.

“Yeah, how could I forget?” She turned a bit, looking right up at me while she revealed it, “Applejack, we were talking about you.”

“What? Me?” I blinked in shock, watching her admiring eyes go dull again as she looked away.

“My dad never thought it was a big deal to have a beer or two before driving, he thought he was a good enough driver, even though the bastard was on his phone the whole time or fixing his hair in the mirror.” She told me with venom on her tongue, “It was one of the few times he took the whole family to see one of my soccer games, Scootaloo begged him for a week to do it.”

“That must'a been nice.” I spoke, but she scoffed at the idea and tensed up a bit to recall.

“The whole time I was playing he was chatting on the phone to someone at work. Not that I was surprised.” Rainbow shrugged in my lap, but kept going, “Anyway, he's drunk, whatever, that was normal. My mom's sitting in the front seat just looking ahead into the passing headlights like there was nothing much going on up there. That's how she always got when he was yelling, never said a word like she was afraid of the guy or something.”

“He was yellin'?” I inquired as my sorrowful eyes traced her. She had told me about his temper before, I imagined that was where she got her own. That must have really bothered her.

“Oh, screaming. He always was. And mom was just sitting there like a damn statue while he went off. He never hit her or anything, but I'm sure whatever he did to brainwash her was much worse. See, she used to be like a self-made woman, right? Investment banker for twenty years, put herself through school, owned her own business, all that garbage. But my father broke her in, let me tell you.” Rainbow Dash nodded vacantly, “Anyway, mom's being all slate-faced and dad's going off at me about my choice in clothing.”

“That seems like a silly thing t'go off about.” I told her honestly, wondering what could possess someone to get upset over something so trivial.

“It was, right?! But, like, he was so mad that I didn't wear any of these clothes my mom used to buy me, like pink cardigans and skirts and shit. Not that it was much of his business or anything.” It sounded like she was still stuck in the argument, but I knew where she was coming from, “Anyway, he starts snapping at me, saying I'm like ungrateful or a little brat and stuff, saying I dress like a boy. A boy!”

“Imagine that.” I smiled a bit to hear it. It was true, after all.

“Okay, to be fair I kind of was, but see, I like that stuff, you know? I don't have to dress like a slut to feel good about myself, I like being different.” I liked her being different too, she was not like everyone else, and she was not afraid to show it. “I guess he didn't, he wants me to be his little princess or something, says I'm corrupting my sister into becoming a tomboy or a runaway or whatever. Then he gets real quiet as he looks at me in the rear-view, right? Sees my scowl and stuff and just freaking stares at me.” She looked up at me, “Then he starts accusing me of doing drugs or something, like, me!? Come on, I would never, I am an athlete, I wouldn't do that stuff, right?”

“Ah know, you ain't gotta explain it to me.” I reminded her, and she gestured her hands around as she responded.

“Right, because see, you get me. Anyway, he won't let up, asking me all these questions about why he never sees me with guys, why I dress all baggy and boyish, why I'm so angry and distant and stuff. Then, he figures it out, and he like turns right around and looks at me with those crows-feet eyes and that deep old frown. And he doesn't even ask or anything he just freaking says it,” Rainbow's eyes nervously touched mine, and she chewed at her lip until the words came out, though they were her fathers and not her own, “You're a lesbian.”

“What?” I swallowed and went still, but she did not push me for my reaction, she just jumped right back into the conflict as usual.

“But see he doesn't even let me talk! He just goes off on me like it's all suddenly true, like right then and there I'm like a different person. And that's when you come in. He brings you up because he knows how close we are and how much time we spend together, but see when he says that, I flinch!” I myself flinched when she said that, and I could see the rosiness darkening on her cheeks as she told me these things, “I flinch, Applejack. I go bright red because I'm so embarrassed and frustrated and upset, and he notices it and just starts calling me all these awful things and saying I'm broken or making a bad decision, like how is that a decision?!”

“Rainbow,” I murmured gently, but she was not done.

“He says it's disgusting. Like I'm disgusting. He says that I'm sick and shit, but I tell him, I say oh, I'm the sick one? You're the one dating the floozy who's barely older than I am, like come on!” Her eyes were wet again, but she did not start crying again, she needed to get the words out. “And my mom says freaking nothing, and I know she knows all about the other woman, because she's the one who told me about it. His mistress calls her up one day and asks her out to lunch, tells my mom that my dad is going to just up and leave our family for her or some shit. But, like, here they are, they're still sitting in the car with each other or eating dinner together like nothing is wrong!”

“Oh, Rainbow.” I whispered softly and sadly as I stroked her head once more.

“Anyway, he says that I'm the sick one, that anything I might want is just disgusting and wrong and, and whatever!” She nearly shouted, throwing her hands up as her anger seemed to burst, and her words were distant and rueful, “And that's when it happens. He's so damn focused on yelling at me, he turns to look at me and his one hand on the steering wheel shifts a bit, turning us right into oncoming traffic.”

I closed my eyes for a second as I breathed slowly, calming myself enough to speak evenly as I consoled her, “Ah'm sorry.”

“I never even got to tell him the truth, or tell anyone for that matter.” Rainbow told me like it bothered her, but she furrowed her eyebrows suddenly and got a different idea, and she moved out of my lap, “But you know what, he doesn't even deserve to know. But you do. Applejack, I've never told anyone this, okay?” She sat up in front of me, our knees touching as she mirrored my pose. She looked into my lap and grabbed my hands in her own, holding them like she never wanted to stop. Rainbow Dash's eyes flickered up and met mine, and honesty came from them, “Applejack, I'm gay.”

It felt very intimate, sitting here with her and hearing her secrets. It was warm and comfortable, and I couldn't keep the smile from breaching my face as the words brought a fluster to my own cheeks, “Y'know, Ah kinda figured as much when y'kissed me.”

“When I—?” It almost sounded like she forgot, but her voice failed her and her mouth was left open as the memory hit her. She was suddenly very embarrassed, and she looked down again as she chewed on her lips, “Oh, right.”

I watched her as she stared at our hands again, her fingers feeling the familiarity of my own. She let out a long and calming sigh as she breathed me in, mulling over her thoughts as she continually avoided my gaze. I tilted my head and leaned forwards a bit, hoping to catch it back. Her mouth opened a bit once or twice before she managed to get it out, and I listened carefully.

“I'm sorry, Applejack. About that.” Rainbow told me, though it was hard for her to say, and she could not even speak directly about it.

“Don't be. It, well it wasn't so much the kiss, as it was,” I tried to be comforting, but vague enough that I did not lead her on or anything. After all, she was in a bad place then, and it was probably just a mistake. I could not toy with her. “Well Ah certainly didn't expect it or nothin', but it's just that, well you're drunk, so... Ah dunno. Ah guess Ah just like kisses t'mean somethin', not to just happen 'cause you're bored or upset and Ah'm sittin' too near.”

Her gaze was on mine again, and she squeezed my hands tighter as if it would say more than her words, which were few, “That's not why I did it.”

“It's al'right, Rainbow. We don't hafta talk about it.” I reminded her with a nod, letting her relax and giving her an out. She seemed to take it, as she settled back down.

“I'm tired.” Her voice was much smaller now, and it was kind of shy.

“Ah know, sugar cube.” I acknowledge as I moved, letting one of her hands go as I reached over and pulled her covers out of the way, making it easier for her to climb into bed.

I raised her hand in mine and directed her over to her pillow, which must have been more comfortable than my lap even though she beat on it a bit and frowned at the way it felt against her head. She laid down into her bed at last and I helped her pull the covers up over her body. She looked at me until I let go of her hand, and it seemed like she was waiting for something from me. I noticed then how very small she seemed in that big bed of hers, all wrapped up tight.

I leaned over her quietly, pressing my lips against her forehead gently and slowly. She gratefully accepted the gesture and closed her eyes for the duration of it. Pulling away at last, I backed up off her bed and made certain she had everything she may need, before standing straight and heading for the door. I touched the light switch and the brightness disappeared, but still, in that blind darkness I turned back to see her nearly invisible silhouette. With a small smile, I turned to leave, but was stopped halfway out the door.

“Hey, Applejack?” Rainbow Dash spoke to me without moving, and I looked back once more, “Would you mind, um, would you mind going to say goodnight to the kid for me?”

It was a rather big favour to ask, I imagine. She would trust me with the habitual evening visit to her younger sister, to the girl who had meant so much to her. Whether either of us believed anything about ghosts or spirits, it didn't really matter. I did not hesitate though, and nodded into the darkness.

“O'course, honey.” I agreed as I stepped out of her room, reaching back to grab the door knob and pulling it mostly shut, “G'night, Rainbow.”

“Night, Applejack.” Her little rough and raspy voice responded as she let me leave.

I stepped out of her room and leaned against the wall just outside, where she could not see me. I put my hand to my face and closed my eyes, consumed and controlled by all that just happened. It was so overwhelming, all of it, that I wanted to just fall down to my knees right there. But I had made a promise, and so I pushed off the wall and continued towards the desolate room a mere few feet from her own.

I twisted the door knob the same way Rainbow had the night before, gently and slowly as to not wake her as if she herself was sleeping, all tucked up in the covers. I went in, and though it was dim, I realized then that Scootaloo's drapes had been left open, and the lights from the stars still shone in. I stepped onto her cold carpet, feeling it stick up between my toes in the curly, synthetic rounds. The messiness and lived-in feel reminded me of my own sister's room, half-finished projects lying strew with toys and loved objects.

“Heya, Scootaloo.” My voice breached the silence, and I winced as it sounded forced or weird, like I was not doing it right, “Your, uh, your sister, she's mighty tired is all. Else she'd be here herself. Any who,” I touched the corner of her bed but pulled away suddenly, feeling like I was intruding, “Ah just came in to say goodnight. Ah won't stay long, Ah just—”

I stopped suddenly as I noticed the picture that sat on her night stand. I moved over to it and reached for her lamp, clicking it on and illuminating the figures that were contained within the thin, wooden frame. It was in my hands now, and my thumbs ran over the image softly. It was the both of them, Rainbow Dash and her sister. Rainbow was still all dressed up in her soccer uniform, and she was flexing her arms up and winking, that same old confidence she used to be known for. Hanging off one of her strong arms was that little sister of hers, trying to make the same pose despite her small form and lack of definition.

I placed the picture back where it belonged, the young girl suspended in time while her sister, just one door over, drowned herself for the end of that past. I looked over to that desk that Rainbow Dash had leaned over the night before and fondled so admiringly. I moved over to it and looked at the pictures she had pushed across the wood, those worn, dull-tipped pencils tossed crooked between the pages. I moved one picture, the one Rainbow herself had moved when we stood there last, and I looked at what she herself had seen.

It was right there, half-finished but remarkably realistic. The colours were bright and surreal, the composition accurate and the position true. I lifted it out from under the other picture that lay atop it and the notebook which pinned but a corner. I held it out before me, the lines drifting a bit as the light source blew through the thin paper and altered it. There in my hands, was Rainbow Dash, grinning and laughing and bright-headed, and on her arm? It was me. This little girl had been working on a composition, a work of her sister and myself.

I realized it then: why hadn't Scootaloo said anything of curiosity in Rainbow Dash's recollection of the accident? It was clear, she did not have to ask. She already knew the truth, she did not care what I was to Rainbow Dash; in her eyes, I was on her arm one way or another. It didn't matter to her why. Besides, Rainbow Dash had been her sister's hero, there was nothing anyone could say that could ruin that.

I slipped the picture back where I had found it, though those smiling, carefree expressions were burned into my head, half-coloured and all. I reached over and shut off the lamp, backing out of the room slowly. I closed the door up behind me and leaned against it, letting the sights and smells and thoughts eat away at me for another moment longer. I had to get Rainbow Dash out of this house, she was living in a dream, a toxic, haunting dream. It was not good for her to watch the word decay around her, to decay herself.

Author's Notes:

So, here's Saturday. Probably my favourite chapter, and clearly the most revealing.