Challenges of Sobriety in a Weekend of Confines
by Ezrienel
First published
One year after a traumatic accident sends Rainbow Dash into a tailspin of depression and isolation, Applejack decides it's high time she forces her friend to confront her emotions, and locking the pair into a house for the weekend seems viable.
After a horrible accident, Rainbow Dash has isolated herself in drunken, devastated grief for months now, and Applejack can no longer sit by and watch it happen. Locking herself and her alcoholic best friend in her house for the weekend seems like a viable option, that is, until Rainbow Dash begins to confront feelings she never thought she would have to, dragging Applejack along for the ride.
**Cover art courtesy of yours truly. Music performed by MacknToth (can be found on youtube).**
Friday
~~Challenges of Sobriety in a Weekend of Confines~~
***
I. Friday
It had been over a year now since all that bad stuff fell on her, by my reckoning any who. Twilight was always better with numbers and dates than I was, so she might have been a better gal to go to. But then again, Twilight didn't know her the way I did, shoot, I don't suppose anyone did. That was the reason I was the one who came out here in the first place, the reason I was the one locked up in this house with her all weekend. It was about time I did something so drastic, I guess, I mean I couldn't have her wasting away like that any more.
I pressed myself up against the front door and hit it with my forehead, leaning one knee onto the balancing chair I had shoved under the door knob to keep it shut. I knew I couldn't leave her, I had put this chair here to remind me of that. Even if it all killed me, be it the booze or the shouting or whatever else she'd do to me, I knew I'd have to stick it out the whole weekend. She was my friend, that broken down, sorry-sick girl, she was my best friend.
Two days before that, I had made up my mind to head over to her place after school on Friday, packed up an overnight bag on that Thursday night that would keep me stocked up all weekend. I made a habit of going to see her every week, so she would be expecting me, but this week would be different. I walked with Twilight to my truck after school on said Friday, listening to her invite me over for some studying or something. She paused though, I didn't even have to tell her why I would have to turn her down.
“You're going to see her?” Twilight surmised, she was always good with that interpretation stuff, so it was no surprise to me she'd notice my head was elsewhere.
“O'course, Ah go every Friday.” I reminded her with a casual smile, seeing my old truck from across the lot by now.
Twilight hesitated before she spoke again, but the word sounded funny to hear, kind of forced or distant, “Still?”
“She ain't dead or nothin', why wouldn't Ah stop by?” I asked as I raised my eyebrow. It was weird for me to hear, I mean, there was no real reason I shouldn't go over there once in a while. More than once in a while, every darned week.
“Well, I mean after the accident,” Twilight brought it up, and we looked away from each other as the topic was sensitive, “She's kind of hard to be around.”
“She always was,” I chuckled lightly, remembering that boisterous and belligerent attitude of hers that had been a part of her long before circumstances had driven cynicism into the mix, “Don't mean she ain't my best friend no more.”
“All right.” Twilight seemed to let it slide, though something told me she was uncertain of some things, “So, how's she doing, anyway?”
“She ain't makin' no progress if that's what you're askin',” I told her as my face settled to stone, contorting a bit into worry as I remembered how skinny she had become recently. It was getting no better, I could see that clear as day, “That's why Ah ain't just stoppin' by this time, Ah ain't leavin' her in that place alone no more.”
“What do you mean?” The purple-haired girl beside me asked curiously.
“It ain't good for her to be alone for s'long. Ah'm staying over there this weekend, whether she lets me or not.” I told her with a decided nod, knowing enough about her condition to assume she would not be entirely sold on the idea of company.
“You think that's a good idea?” Twilight asked me gently.
“Don't matter much if it ain't, Ah can't just sit by like this and let it happen, y'know?” I said certainly, though I could hear the worry in my own voice as it came out.
“You've got a big heart, Applejack.” Twilight told me as a simple smile graced her lips and we reached my truck. She shifted the bag on her shoulder as she made to leave, heading over to the library before she left as usual, “I'll see you on Monday. Oh, and give my regards to,” Twilight abruptly stopped before a name escaped her lips. None of the girls spoke much of her any more, “Her.”
“What, you ain't even gonna say her name?” I smirked a crooked smirk as I unlocked my door and looked back at her. My smile faded weakly though as I reminded her what I knew well, “Rainbow is still Rainbow, Twilight. There's just a bottle o' vodka keepin' her from seein' it.”
“Right.” Twilight's voice was empty and calm, disbelieving I think, “Bye, Applejack.”
I knew the drive like the back of my hand, which clenched up and defined my knuckles every time I adjusted my grip or squeezed on the steering wheel. My fingers drummed over it in the sunlight that broke in from the wind shield, bathing me from elbow down and blanketing my midsection and lap. My window was rolled down so the thick, humid summer air could blow in, though it was hot as an iron outside and I could hear the bugs chirping and hissing even over the chortling muffler.
I knocked my old Stetson back and looked up at the little charm on my rear-view mirror, which swayed and jumped about as the old truck rolled over potholes. Every time I saw that tacky little thing I smiled, I just couldn't even hope to help it. There it was, just swinging around when I reached up to it and knocked it a bit, watching it spin and waver in the sunlight.
“What is it?” I asked as I held the little thing up, though I had to wince seeing as how the sun was shining right in front of me and all.
“It's a cowboy hat!” Rainbow Dash told me excitedly, though she snorted a bit and went to tease me, “What, you've never seen that thing that always sits up on your head?”
“O'course it's a hat y'ninny, but what's it for?” I shoved her in the shoulder playfully and held it between us, asking curiously.
“Well, it's like, I dunno, one of those air fresheners or something.” She kicked at the ground bashfully and puffed out her bottom lip as she recounted the story, “I saw it at a truck stop on the way to the lake, my dad told me not to waste my money, but what does he know?”
“He's prob'ly right.” I smirked to annoy her, and she growled at me.
“Just, just take it.” She took my hands and closed them around the little cowboy hat, avoiding my eyes and she added a murmur, “I thought it kind of looked like yours, like, it was cute or something.”
A pleased smile spread across my face as I peeked in through my fingers, like we were a couple of kids again, catching frogs, “Well thanks, it is kinda cute, ain't it?”
The hat stopped swaying as my eyes focused instead on the mirror, seeing the duffelbag I had shoved in the cab behind the seat. That would be my dresser for the weekend, shoved to the zippers with clothing and incidentals I thought I might need. I flicked on the indicator absently as the truck all but drove itself to her house, so familiar a route I knew it almost as well as my own. I cranked the steering wheel around as the truck bucked and bowed around the corner, rough and standoffish in such a suburban neighbourhood.
I remembered the way her house used to look, the lawn always freshly cut in perfect lines, the arching oak tree pruned and bright, the gutters and grass clear of clutter or falling leaves. That was not how it looked any more. Nah, now the gutters hung low and browned with decaying leaves, now the trees sagged and the grass grew high as knees, now the pooling rains caused depressions in soils around each corner of the house and the wooden fence rotted and warped. But still, my truck pulled up on the street right cosy-close next to it.
I knocked open my door and stepped out, cringing as the sun scraped off the pavement beneath my feet. Reaching into the truck as I pushed the seat forward, I yanked the dufflebag out of the back, my arm swinging with force as it broke loose. The small, early falling leaves twirled and twisted around my feet, scuttling across the ground in natural tap shoes. I slammed the door shut loudly and walked around the front of the truck, carrying the hefty object with me up the concrete steps towards her front door. It was wooden and the paint was chipping by now, but there were glass panes on either side that could tell me of any movement inside.
I knocked on the door three times slowly, the same knock I always gave when I arrived. She didn't answer it right away, she was either just rolling off the couch or finding something to throw on. I peered in through the fractured glass, cut into many angles to obstruct clear vision, and noticed a shadow a little ways away. Finally the lock clicked open and the door creaked in, revealing the darkness that fell from the door frame and shielded her slender body.
“Hey,” It was a weak and forced greeting, her sunken face gaunt despite the weird smile and bright eyes. She wiped her eyes a bit as she named me and spoke in a way that mimicked me, “Howdy there, Applejack, why are you up so early? And, and what are you doing here?”
“It's Friday, Ah'm always here on Friday.” I reminded her as I pushed the door open a bit, noticing the half-empty glass liquor bottle she was clutching in her limp hand. I sighed slowly and tried to be reasonable with her, “Rainbow, it ain't even four in the afternoon.”
“It, it's afternoon?” She blinked as she leaned back to check the old grandfather clock at the end of the hall, but I could tell she didn't really comprehend what the hands read.
“Yeah, lemme in already.” I leaned the door open a bit more and swung my bag in, stepping in after while Rainbow Dash stumbled backwards out of my way and gave me a look.
I noticed then her attire, just a tank top and some underwear covered up by a loose blue zip-up hoodie. Her legs were pale and her feet were bare, her hoodie not hanging low enough to cover her underwear quite enough. I could see the long, jagged scar peeking out across her thigh, a constant reminder of what she lost. I didn't bring it up.
“What's that?” Rainbow Dash gestured with the bottle towards my dark bag as I leaned against the door, closing it behind myself and dousing most of the natural light.
“Uh, a dufflebag?” I smirked obviously and let myself in, striding into the living room as the bag bounced against my leg with each step.
“Well no shit. I'm drunk, not stupid.” She said with a slurred tone, waving herself around as she followed me, “I mean what is it doing here?”
“It's escortin' me to your couch, Ah'm stayin' over for the weekend.” I told her plainly as I tossed the thing over the back on the couch, placing it on one of the cushions and removing the strap from over my arm.
“What? Why?” Rainbow perked up as she realized what I had said, and hurried over to me prying for more. She groaned and dragged my name out and across the floor, “Appleja-ack?”
“You're my best friend, and we never spend time together any more, Rainbow.” I turned and looked at her, smiling as I brushed her thin hair out of her face. It was once so bright and lively, she had kept it expertly dyed at one point, but now the roots were all coming in and she had let it get messy and dishevelled like the rest of her appearance, “Quit bein' so sour.”
“Does that mean I have to put clothes on?” Rainbow Dash moaned groggily as she touched at her hoodie.
“That's the first thing on your mind?” I raised my eyebrow and chuckled at her, though she remarked back just as quickly.
“That wasn't a yes.” She smirked playfully, a remnant of that same old carefree nature I loved about her.
“Yes, go get dressed.” I told her as I shooed her off, pushing her towards her bedroom and grabbing the bottle of vodka from her hand despite her attempts to retrieve it.
“Fine, fine.” She finally agreed with a loud groan, heading up the stairs towards her bedroom as she undid her hoodie and let it fall right off her shoulders onto the hardwood floor. I watched her do it, noticing the way her shoulder blades were beginning to show through her thin, athletic body. She was still very attractive, mind you, it seemed no concoction or cocktail could do that out of her, “You're so demanding, next thing I know you'll have me handcuffed to the bed.”
“If it'll keep y'out of the liquor cabinet.” I muttered to myself as I heard her stumble into her bedroom.
I was under her sink in a matter of seconds, opening a box and pulling out a roll of garbage bags. Clearly she had not done much cleaning over the past few weeks since the last time I had done it for her. I ripped off one long black bag from the roll and shook it open noisily, returning to the living room and shoving every bottle and can I could find into the bag. I even found some behind the couches and chairs like she had just thrown them about in fits of rage or stupor. There were plenty of empties around, lying on their sides or standing in lines under and along coffee tables.
By the time I was tying the bag up Rainbow Dash slunk back down the stairs, her hair messed up by the shirt she had thrown over her head that was still pulling down her body. I glanced over at her and her heavy, stomping steps while she closed one eye and looked at me, scratching her noggin as she swayed over in my direction.
“Mmm,” She groggily groaned as she came around the couch and flopped onto it, immediately noticing the bottle of vodka I had placed there and lifting it clumsily into the air.
“Dash.” I murmured as I saw her take another sip, but her eyes narrowed at me irritably.
She grumbled a bit but placed it back down on the coffee table, finding room easily now that I cleared it off. She reached over to the remote and flicked on the television, her dull eyes staring blankly at it as I passed in front of her. I grabbed another bag for garbage and returned to the chore, scooping half eaten take-out boxes and other wrappers, forcing her to lift her legs up and put them on the table while I cleaned under her.
“So, like, is this some slumber party or something?” She asked curmudgeonly as she peered down at me kneeling on the ground, draping her arms over the back of the couch, “Because, from the look of that bag, clearly we have enough empties to play spin the bottle all weekend.”
“Nah, it ain't no slumber party Rainbow.” I laughed lightly and shook my head, sitting up a bit on the ground beside her, “Ah just wanted to see you, spend some time with you. You know, maybe find out a little bit about what's wrong.”
“Nothing's wrong.” She abruptly replied, her face contorting into a deep frown.
“Nothin's wrong...?” I stated back to her blankly and incredulously, knowing that was clearly a lie.
“Yeah, I said that, didn't I?” Rainbow snorted as she sat up and snatched her bottle, bringing it to her lips and avoiding my gaze as she gulped another sip back.
“Don't gimme that bullshit, Dash.” I told her simply, putting my hands on my hips.
“Dude, this is my house. Who invited you, anyway?” She flailed her arms around a bit and slammed the bottle back down, knocking her feet off the table and putting her hands on her knees while she leaned closer to me.
“You gotta deal with this eventually, you know.” I reminded her gently and my eyes softened on her, but she was not in the mood to talk.
“Deal with what, your stupid blabbering mouth?” She snapped at me and pointed her thumb back at the front door, “Because I have a good solution for that, get the hell out.”
“Ah ain't leavin'.” I was certain on that point. I had made up my mind on it and everything.
“What—you can't just say no!” She barked at me, moving around on the couch and waving her hands at me.
“Ah am your best darn friend Rainbow, and Ah deserve some quality time with you.” I told her as I remained seated and still on the floor, looking up at her sternly.
“Don't you play those mind games with me, Applejack,” She stood abruptly and shook her finger at me dizzily, pointing it and glaring this unfocused but attentive glare, “You are not here just to hang out, you want to fix me up or some shit, don't you?”
“Ah never said that.” I recalled as I got to my feet to stand opposite her, keeping my tone as non-confrontational as I could, even though I wanted to just slap her back to reality.
“I don't care! Come here,” Rainbow grabbed me suddenly and violently, yanking me by my arm towards the front door despite my stubborn squirming and pulling back, “You, you get over here, and, and you get out!”
“Ah came all the way here, and there ain't no way Ah am leavin'!” I raised my voice as I struggled against her, even though her usual strength had decayed over time or been dimmed by the haze of the liquor. She had me by the front door in seconds and was trying to force me out, but I wouldn't let her. “Let go'a me!” I managed to break her hold and took off in the other direction, towards her dining room.
“Where are you going?” She called after me but did not make chase. I heard her groan loudly, “Applejack. Applejack!” She called my name but did nothing to find me as I leaned down over her dining room set and plucked a chair from the table. It had clearly gone unused for some time, she probably ate all her meals on the couch instead. I came back into the foyer and carried that wooden chair along with me, “Put that back, you can't just—!”
“Shut your trap, y'pig-headed drunk!” I nudged her out of my way and shoved the back of the chair forcefully under the doorknob of her front door and locked both of the locks on it tight. I turned around suddenly and glared at her, my hands on my hips, “All right look, neither of us are leavin' this property for the next three days, y'hear? Ah don't care if Ah gotta sleep in the yard, Ah don't care if you ain't gonna speak one word to me, Ah ain't leavin' and you can't make me.”
She blinked at me through her furious glare, throwing her hands up and growling out loud. She stomped over to her couch and grabbed that bottle again shaking her head as she brought it to her lips, “You are so freaking difficult sometimes!”
“Deal with it!” I told her harshly as I followed her over there, looking down at the diminishing liquid in her hands, “And in a better way than this, gimme that.” I went to take the bottle from her but she pulled away, clumsily spilling a drop or two to keep it away from me.
“No way. My house, my rules.” Her eyes grabbed at mine as she told me that, and I suppose it sounded fair enough. I mean, I was not the boss of her by any means.
“Al'right, al'right. Ah can live with that.” I nodded and watched her, trying to calm her down with affirmation and patience.
“Good, now first rule is you don't touch my drinks unless you plan on drinking them, cool?” Rainbow clarified as she shook the bottle in front of me, and I just glared at the thing as I waited for her to finish.
“Is that the only rule?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.
“No, second rule is that you can't force me to talk about anything.” She told me, which would have been fine if she did not start snapping at me again, “You are not a psychiatrist or psychologist or whatever, okay? I don't need any help, okay?” She repeated the word.
“Okay.” I too copied her word and nodded, even though I didn't believe her that she didn't need any help.
“Fourth rule is—” She started, but I corrected her.
“Third rule.” I stated blankly, but she twitched as I did, biting back a few curses no doubt as she turned away and breathed through her teeth in anger. She spun back around and pointed at me with one of the fingers she had wrapped around the neck of the bottle.
“That right there! Third rule is don't piss me off!” Rainbow spat, but my silence seemed to calm her down a bit. She stared at me right in the eyes as she spoke the next few words less viciously, “Are we clear?”
“Crystal.” I nodded, but did not break the eye contact.
“Good.” She slumped down onto the couch and kicked her feet up on the table again, looking over at the television instead of me.
I watched her settle down for a moment longer before I took a seat of my own, choosing the recliner perpendicular to the love-seat she was sitting on. She took another careless swig before she put the bottle on the table and kicked it a bit out of the way, sinking into the couch and finding the remote again, clicking through channels persistently. I had a question on my lips though.
“Why you gotta be so antagonistic?” I asked her simply, tilting my head a bit to the side as she made a confused or sarcastic face.
“Antago—what? You have been spending way too much time with Twilight, sheesh.” Rainbow sneered as her thumb jumped up and down on the channel button, switching it before she even had a good look at what was on, “Freaking dictionary, man.”
“Well you've been a mite busy for us to hang out, Ah s'pose.” I reminded her as softly as I could, but she still growled a bit before snapping back at me.
“Just shut up already.” Didn't sound as irritable or livid as it could have, but I knew she meant business when she said it.
I did as she said and reminded quiet. She continued scrolling through the channels while I leaned my elbows on my knees and sat at the very edge of my seat. I looked down at my clasped hands in silence, wondering if this was really a good idea. I mean, I didn't want to piss her off or anything, I just wanted the old Rainbow Dash back, was all. Surely it would be easier to be around her after we got through the rough stuff, she was just angry and not used to social interaction, that must have been it.
She was always an angry person, but after the accident everything had got so much worse. At first, she was dealing with it fine, or at least it seemed so because she wasn't dealing with it at all. But after a while, she would come around and see our friends less and less, and before I knew it she never left the house. She was well enough off to get by without a job, so she did just that. It made me miserable to see her like that, but still I came around every week and spent some time with her. That's just what best friends do.
I looked up and caught her looking at me instead of whatever movie she had settled on catching the last half of. She blinked and looked away without a word, but within another few seconds she peered over at me again. She frowned a bit and moved over to one side of the couch, leaning on the arm rest and gazing towards me.
“Come over here.” Her voice was hoarse but she did not repeat it. I waited for a reason, and after she chewed on the words a bit, it came, “That's my dad's chair.”
“He ain't gonna knock me out of it, is he?” I asked curiously, trying to lighten the mood a bit. She looked at me funny like she didn't get it and spoke again.
“What? No, obviously not, just, just come sit down already, jeez.” She grumbled until I got up and went over to the couch, sitting beside her on the other end. She huffed a bit of a laugh and shook her head as she fumbled with the words, “And I'm the one who's ag-agnostic.”
“Antagonistic.” She twitched again and pointed a dastardly finger at me while she held back her curses or scorns. She sure did not like to be corrected. I bit my lips shut and smiled nervously, “Right, third rule.”
I felt the couch below me squishing around as I shifted my weight, the fabric old and the stuffing well rested on. It was real comfortable though, I realized that for certain as I leaned back against it. I looped my arm around the back of it and let out a slow breath, watching the poor cinematography of whatever this was play on. Rainbow Dash didn't seem to care at all as her drowsy eyes settled on the bottle by her feet.
She washed her lips with it once more despite my sorrowful expression and leaned back, the couch gracefully accepting her trim body. Rainbow leaned her head back a bit as she tasted it on her teeth with her tongue, letting little strands of hair fall over the back of the couch and brush my wrist. I noticed then how thin and brittle it seemed, how unwashed and unkempt it was. Not that Rainbow was ever much for keeping up appearances, but she used to take great pride in her multi-coloured hair.
“When's the last time y'washed your hair?” I asked her gently as my fingers ran through her hair and touched her scalp, my voice seeming so smooth in contrast her brazen growls.
“What the hell is it to you?” She said loudly as she felt my hand in her head and pulled away suddenly, “Do you have Rarity stuffed in your bag coming over here to do a makeover or something?”
“Relax sugar cube, it's just a question.” I eased her. Rainbow's expression seemed to calm down as I touched her hair again, slowly pulling my fingers through it and gingerly touching her head.
“Mmm,” Rainbow Dash hummed and her eyes closed. She tilted her head a bit to the side as she enjoyed the affectionate massage, a touch that seemed so intimate despite our emotional distance and our lack of time spent together lately. She actually answered me, though, “I don't remember.”
I let my hand fall behind the couch again, leaving the subject to fall as it may. Rainbow Dash looked over at me though, curious and tentative like she wanted to ask me to do it again. She must have had such little human interaction the last few months she didn't know how to respond any more. She turned suddenly to face me and tucked her knees up to her chin on the couch, her bare feet twitching on the sofa.
“What're you lookin' at?” I asked quizzically, smiling a bit at her oddly uncharacteristic movements.
“You.” Rainbow replied simply from behind her knees, and I could see her eyes looking me over. She reached her foot out and lightly kicked me, tilting her head as she spoke again, “Why are you still here?”
“Why wouldn't Ah be?” I questioned, but she said nothing. It was probably the same kind of question Twilight had asked me earlier, “Maybe Ah'm just too stubborn to leave.” I told her as my smile turned into a smirk, and I couldn't tell if she returned it.
“You're the only one that still comes around, Applejack. Do you know that?” Rainbow told me, and her eyes looked kind of hurt by the fact, “I haven't seen the others in a long time. They don't call or anything. Just, are they okay?”
“O'course,” I confirmed with a nod, “It ain't the same without you, though.”
“They seem to get by.” She murmured, and it sounded rather resentful. Her arms squeezed around her legs a bit harder, and the haze over her eyes must have meant she was remembering how things used to be.
“Somethin' botherin' you, sugar cube?” I moved a little closer to her and her eyes jumped up to mine again, though they swayed and shifted from the influence of vodka.
“It just sucks, is all. I mean, everyone knew me as the loyal friend, dependable old Rainbow Dash, she'll be there for you no matter what.” She huffed a laugh and moved her chin out from behind her knees, showing me her mouth as she spoke, “But look around. Where are all my loyal friends, huh? Where are people that I can count on?” I raised my eyebrow at the way she breezed me over, and she caught on, “Well, I mean besides you, Applejack.”
“Right.” I chuckled lightly before addressing her seemingly rhetorical question, “Ah think they're just afraid a'you. They don't wanna see someone so proud and so strong fallin' apart like this.”
“I am not falling apart.” Her eyebrows dropped down hard over her eyes and she glared at me.
“Okay.” I carefully nodded, but she didn't believe me.
“I'm not!” She shouted suddenly and kicked me again, this time more forcefully.
“Okay, okay!” I replied as I put my hands up defensively until she stopped attacking me, letting out a sigh of relief as she settled down.
Rainbow Dash crawled away from me again and sprawled out over the armrest, tucking her feet up close to her so she wouldn't even get near to touching me. Even though there was hardly a foot between us, it still felt like a mile. Not only was she not being honest with me or herself, but she was kicking and forcing me away all the while. That was not the Rainbow Dash I knew.
Rainbow and I, we were the best of friends. Before everything happened, she and I used to spend every waking minute with each other, fighting or laughing or competing or what have you. She used to be the one who would put her arm around me, or pinch me or tackle me, she was always a physical person and loved to tease me and play around. But as she laid there on the couch, I couldn't help but think that all this darkness and sorrow, that it had done that out of her.
She was working on another bottle by the time the sun went down, which was rather late in the evening given the time of year it was. As she was flipping through the channels again and licking the drops of clear liquid off her lips, I excused myself to the bathroom. It was up the stairs and down the hall, I remembered that well. When she didn't seem to be listening or paying attention, I slowly cranked the handles of the faucet in her tub, testing the heat of the water on my hand as it fell in. The water slipped and slid about in the oblong white bowl, sloshing a bit as it filled.
I peered down the stairs once or twice to be certain she was still preoccupied while I got everything ready upstairs, filling up the tub and gathering her shampoo and conditioner from bottles of each varying fullness scattered around the place. I sneaked back down the hall and started down the stairs. It was then she noticed me, with the bottle pressed to her lips and big glistening eyes as her head tipped back.
“Oh, when'd you get up?” Rainbow Dash murmured into the glass mouth hole before putting her drink back onto the coffee table.
“Not t'long ago,” I murmured as I came up behind her on the couch and placed my hands on the cushion beside either side of her head, which was leaned back all the way to look at me though I must have appeared upside-down, “Y'wanna head on upstairs?”
“Upstairs?” She repeated as her brows furrowed and her eyes narrowed at me. Suddenly though, those same weirdly pink eyes expanded and some kind of reasoning hit her, “Like, to my bedroom?”
“I dunno,” I chuckled a bit as I reached down and pushed her messy bangs to one side of her face, “If it'll get you movin', sure.”
“I—I,” She couldn't form a cognitive sentence, but she sat up suddenly and got to her feet, standing up on her numbing and wobbling legs. “I guess I could appease you.”
I laughed a bit at her odd response, but took her by the clammy hand and led her towards the stairs. She had a bit of trouble with them, undoubtedly, but I helped her along just fine. When we got to the top, I directed her to the right, and she suddenly clued in that her bedroom was not in that direction. She tugged back on my hand a bit as we neared the bathroom, though I had pulled the door shut so she couldn't see the steam.
“Applejack, my bedroom is the other way.” She said bluntly as we neared the door, but I said nothing in response. She pulled back against me harder, but I pushed her in front of me so she couldn't just bolt, “Applejack?”
“Ah know.” I told her as I reached forward with my foot and kicked open the bathroom door, letting out a huff of hot, steamy air as I did. Her eyes got big and frightened as she realized what I was dragging her towards.
“No, no freaking way, Applejack.” Rainbow Dash tried to turn around and run, but I held her tight and blocked her exit, “Hey! I said no! No, no, no, a thousand times no!” She squirmed all the more but I just put my arms right around her waist and picked her up, shouting and kicking and all, “Applejack! Not while you're in here—let me go, I don't want to! I don't want to!”
“Quit fussin'!” I groaned against her shoulder as she tried to pry me off of her, but I stepped onto the cold tile floor and carried her all the way from the door to the bath.
“You're not serious?!” Rainbow Dash squealed, her voice breaking in her high pitch as she fought me all the while.
I lifted her over the side of the tub and wrestled her into the warm water, though she splashed and coughed and shouted all the while. I finally managed to submerge most of her in the bath and as I did she began to relax, looking down at her wet clothes and trembling body. I sighed loudly in relief as I stood up and went over to the door, closing it up tight and locking it behind me. I turned back around and saw her there, adjusting in the water while the tub groaned and squeaked as her body rubbed against it. She sat up on her knees and hands and glared at me, kind of like the way my dog Winona had reacted when I gave her a bath. I went over and knelt in front of her, my face just inches in front of hers as our equally stubborn eyes clashed once more.
“Al'ri—!” I choked hard on water as she spat a mouthful right into my face, and I reached up to wipe it out of my eyes, seeing her grinning face as my vision came back. I growled a bit and grabbed the collar of her wet shirt in my fist, yanking her closer to me as I spoke, “Al'right listen, you! Y'can either take off all them wet clothes and lemme scrub y'clean, or y'can sit there in them all night 'til the water goes cold. It's your choice!” Her eyes narrowed defiantly against mine and we remained like that for a moment or so, in turmoil.
Her sopping wet clothes were bunched up by the door, leaving a little puddle and line of drips all the way to the bath tub. She was sitting with her back to me, her knees pulled up to her chest and her hands wrapped around herself as if to keep the secret of her femininity from me. My wet fingers dug through her hair as the shampoo began to bubble, the strands of dye-coloured hair mixing around at my will. She said nothing as I stopped, reaching over to grab the extendible shower head handle and testing the temperature before I ran it over her hair and rinsed it.
Rainbow Dash leaned her head back slowly, letting her hair run down her back and the water comb through it. I couldn't see her face, seeing as how her back was to me, but I imagined her eyes were closed. I turned off the shower head as I grabbed the conditioner and lathered my hands, touching her much smoother hair with it and working it all the way down to her roots. Somehow, silence did not seem to be working for us.
“Y'ever get lonely in this big ol' house, Rainbow?” I asked her, and she leaned back a bit to let my hands rub the crown of her head.
“Yeah, I guess,” She nodded faintly, but then thought of something better to say, “Of course that doesn't last long, because then you come busting in here like you own the place.”
“S'pose Ah can't deny that.” I chuckled a bit along with her and made sure the conditioner was run through the length of her hair before I pushed her head a bit forward and massaged it against her neck.
“That feels really good.” Rainbow murmured like she wasn't certain if she wanted me to hear it, but I liked it when she said that.
“Ah'm glad.” Was all I could say as I continued for another half moment or so, letting the conditioner soak into her thin hair from root to tip.
I took hold of the shower head again and let it run over her head, watching her physically respond to it. I let my fingers untangle her hair as the water rushed through it, straightening it and smoothing it so softly against my rough hands. I finished with her hair and pushed it over her shoulder, though last I remembered it wasn't long enough to permit me to do that.
My fingers found their way around one of those scrunchy little bath scrubs, beats me what they were called. I drizzled a bit of body wash onto it and pressed it against her back, gently running circles over her body. She didn't say anything about it when I ran it over her shoulders and arms or down her spine, instead, she just sat there in the water in thought. I don't know what provoked her, maybe the vodka or the heated water or what have you, but she decided to speak her mind to me.
“Hey, Applejack?” Rainbow Dash started weakly, her voice so small I could hardly hear it over the water I pulled up and ran over her pale back, but I hummed some acknowledgement, “Do you,” She paused as the words felt awkward or something, but she finished seconds later, “Do you think I'm pretty?”
I smiled easily as I heard the words, the answer was very simple for me. “O'course Ah do. Honey, Ah think you're just plain gorgeous.” I paused in scrubbing her and wondered, “Why'd y'ask?”
“I don't know. It's just,” She hissed another sigh as her arms moved against her legs, getting a better grip and knocking the water around a bit, “Whenever I look at myself, I just feel kind of... Like, sick.”
My smile faded. It hurt me pretty bad when she said that, but I had to be the strong one right now, the one to lift her back up. “That's prob'ly 'cause the only time you're in the bathroom and near a mirror is when you got your head in the toilet, pukin' up all that vodka.”
“No, I mean that... Ugh, I don't know, It's stupid. I just can't even look at my stupid, stupid face. I just feel like, like why am I the one who's here? While they're all gone, you know? And maybe,” I blinked in shock as words flooded out of her suddenly, more expressive and honest than I had heard in a long time. Not even at the funeral had she said much at all, “Maybe if I had just not played at that soccer game, or if they never came to see it, or maybe if we hadn't started talking about—” She choked back a whimper and replaced it with a scoff, tensing up and squeezing her knees up tight again, “Never mind.”
“Ah ain't told you to stop, sugar cube.” I whispered in a hush, letting my bare hands run over her back as I rinsed her off.
“I don't want to talk any more.” Her voice was stoic and cold as she lifted her guard back up, and I suppose I couldn't rush her.
I let the subject drift away, realizing that maybe she just wasn't quite ready yet. I ran my hands over her body again, loving the sensation of her smooth and fresh skin over my sensitive fingers, the warm water, the closeness, all of it. I ran water over her shoulders again and down her arms, though I had to be careful as to not slip too low and touch the sides of her naked body, in case her chest wasn't as well hidden as I imagined.
I leaned forwards as my hands ran down her arms, since they were wrapped around her legs and a ways away from me. I could smell the scent of her shampoo clearly from so close, and I just wished I could have embraced her. I didn't though, not while she was naked and guarded and all. Instead, I just let my words do the talking, as if I was any good at it.
“Listen Rainbow, Ah could come over here every night and toss you into a bath until Ah'm too old and brittle to hoist you in there, but it ain't gonna do you no good.” I reminded her gently, knowing that I was only here for a few days and there was only so much I could do for her, “You gotta wanna do it for yourself, Ah can't live your life for you, y'know?”
“I know.” Rainbow Dash replied simply, her voice seeming somewhat less distressed and fragmented as she pulled herself back together and taped up those pleading cracks. She huffed a snide laugh and peeked back at me with those bagged, pink eyes, “So, you want to wash my front now?”
“In your dreams!” I snapped as I splashed her, which brought forth two light-hearted laughs from the pair of us that filled the bathroom like the rolling steam.
While Rainbow Dash dried off, I went to her bedroom to grab her a dry set of clothes. I was sure it didn't really matter what it was, but I sure had some trouble finding clothes that were clean and not wrinkled, considering her dresser had become just a platform for her mounds of clothing. I managed to get my hands on a set of pyjama pants and a hoodie, but drew the line at rifling through her underwear drawer and settled for grabbing the first bra I could find.
I passed the set of clothes through the door when I arrived to the bathroom, finding it a safer option than stepping right in if she hadn't wrapped herself up in a towel in time. I crossed my arms and chewed at my lip, flushing a bit when I heard the towel hit the ground and her bare feet pitter-patter across the tile floor. I could hear the clothes rustling as she pulled them over her body and I waited patiently until she emerged, her hair unbrushed and her ears still glistening with wetness from her half-assed dry job.
“What?” Rainbow Dash muttered as she brought a glass bottle to her lips, and I gaped in shock.
“Where did you get that?!” I asked incredulously as I tried to grab it, but she pulled it away and reminded me of what I had agreed to.
“Uh, uh-uh, rule number one, remember?” She snickered a bit as she stepped out of the bathroom, trails of steam following her as she did. “What time is it?”
“Bed time, from the look o'you.” I told her, but she frowned at such a thing.
“No way, dude. I'm just getting started.” She told me as she stumbled past me towards the direction of the stairs. “I bet we can find something really stupid on TV to make fun of.”
“Rainbow,” I groaned as I followed her, but she turned around and pointed that assertive, accusing finger of hers and shook it at me silently, “Al'right, fine. Just for a little while.”
“Sweet, awesome,” She cheered a bit and clenched her fist up, pulling it down hard like she had just won some important argument. She started towards the stairs but stopped suddenly, wheeling around and almost knocking right into me as she did, “Wait, it's late. I have to say good night to my sister first.”
“Your,” My heart broke right then and there, and my eyes gazed over at her with some form of pity or sorrow as I tried to remind her, “Rainbow, come on honey, your sister is—”
“I know Applejack, I'm not daft.” She interrupted me as she stood in front of her sister's door, though it was closed. She took one more drink before setting down the bottle beside the door frame, that room apparently being the one place she would not bring that stuff into, “I just like to do it.”
Rainbow's shaking fingers rounded the door knob, touching it only with the tips as if she was afraid of breaking it off. I tilted my head as I watched her press the door open with the weight of her slender body and step one foot forward, revealing the dark room to us both. She gently touched the door open a little more so I could see it, the room entirely untouched in the worst way. There was no dynamic young girl chirping and kicking her older sister out of her room, there was no lamp left on or phone pulled off the receiver with a line to a friend. No, the room was empty.
Rainbow Dash's foot steps were quiet, but screamed through the otherwise vacant and sleeping room. She didn't turn the light on as she went in, and I found myself following her through the doorway. The carpet was cold, in fact the whole room was cold now that I thought about it. But Rainbow Dash went in anyway, and she stepped unevenly and dizzily to the bed, each step a different measure and speed from the last. Her hand touched the covers, the bed left unmade and the nearby desk cluttered with doodles and homework and coloured pens.
“Hey, kido,” Her voice was strained but soft, and I followed her closely, my eyes affixed to her face as that solemn smile graced her lips and bent up under her devoted eyes, “You remember Applejack.”
“Rainbow.” I murmured into my lips delicately, but she wasn't listening.
“Yeah, I told you all about her, didn't I?” She broke into a few laughs, though I didn't know why, “Anyway, just wanted to come in and, and say,” She forced back some snivel or something as she pressed her lips together and fought off a frown, staring down at the wrinkled sheets, “Night, Scootaloo.”
“You okay?” I inquired gingerly, stepping over eggshells as I approached her, my chest tight as ever I had felt it since I first heard the news.
“Yeah, I mean it's been a year now, guess I should quit acting like a crazy person.” Rainbow scoffed, but did not look away from her little sister's bed. “I just miss the little squirt, you know?”
“Ah can't even imagine.” I told her for certain, I mean I could not even begin to imagine what it would be like if my little sister Apple Bloom was taken from me.
“She was a brat, of course,” Rainbow shook her head and forced a laugh, “But she was awesome, too. Big spirit, big dreams.”
“Tell me about her.” I asked as I moved closer, leaning to the side to get a better look at her darkened expression.
“I always thought she had an amazing talent,” Rainbow Dash said as she raised her head, looking up at the few paintings and pictures that were hung around the room and scattered over the desk. She went around and admired them, touching them even, “For, like art and stuff. Weird for any sister of mine, right?”
“Ah don't think so.” I replied honestly as my own eyes drifted about, seeing the many hues and tones of the rainbow scattered all over her walls like she had been drawing her older sister with every stroke.
“I always told Scootaloo that it was, it was just magnificent. That she had this, this weird talent for space and colour and, I don't know.” Her words failed her as she rested her hands on the crinkled papers on the desk, staring down at it, “She said that I was stupid or blind, that there was no way someone like her could make something pretty, something people might like. See, she wanted to be like me, athletic and cool and stuff.” Rainbow shook her head back and forth like that was what was stupid, “Thing is, I would give anything to have been born with a talent like hers. I mean, yeah, I'm fast and I'm cool and whatever, but those things fade. You know?”
“Maybe.” I replied simply as I let her go on, witnessing each and every small change to the wrinkles of her bright and young skin as they came and went.
“The accident really screwed up my leg, so who knows if I'll ever be a star or anything. And even if I do, I'm going to get old, my body wont work any more. So, like, what good am I?” Her fists clenched up a bit as her knuckles turned white pressing so hard against the desk. Her face twisted into rage and words slipped out of her teeth, “Why am I the one who's here, and she's the one gone?!”
“That ain't the kinda question any of us can answer.” I reminded her as I kept my distance at a foot or so away. I wasn't sure if it would have been all right for me to touch her, I didn't want to set her off.
Rainbow shoved off the desk, making the pens wiggle back and forth and the legs kick up and land again. She dipped her hands deep into her pockets and glanced once more at where the little kid used to sleep. It really tore me right up, all of it. She pushed past me with her head down, hiding from me even then. I didn't move at first, I just watched her sway over to the door and step out, reaching down to grab the bottle before taking another long drink.
“I think I'll go to bed now.” Her voice was raspy as she wiped her mouth, waiting there for me to leave her little sister's room. I did as she wanted and exited, letting her close the door behind me up tight as if she was protecting her memory from the rest of the house. “Night, A.J.”
“G'night.” I spoke in a hush as I watched her take off towards her bedroom, dragging the bottle right in there with her. She kicked the door open and went inside, knocking it shut behind her and closing me out.
I waited there for a moment or so with my eyes pinned to her door, like I was expecting she would come back out or something. She didn't, and so finally I just left, heading back downstairs. There were two empty beds in that old house, but I was not welcome to nor did I want to sleep on either of them. My place was on the couch beside that stuffed, lifeless duffelbag of mine. I undid my shirt and jeans and replaced them with my worn, holey plaid pyjamas, confident that Rainbow Dash would show no interest in coming to sneak a peak, if that was even her thing.
I curled up on the couch under the spare quilt I had found in the linen closet, which Rainbow clearly hadn't even remembered existed. The television still blared light into the colourless room, though I had turned the volume down a while ago. I had too much on my mind to be paying attention to any of the images or sounds that played before me anyway, but the background noise was somewhat soothing. I could feel the dips in the couch from Rainbow's own body, and the thick scent of vodka persisted on the carpet and cushions around me.
I blinked slowly as the night dragged on, letting the darkness of my eyelids distort the flashes of light that splashed on my body from the television; an object I rarely chanced encounters with in my own leisure. At first I was not certain of the noises that swelled around the room, but the more I listened, the more I realized it was not coming from the television at all. I turned over slowly as her silhouette appeared above me, her eyes so dark and shadowed she seemed like another ghost that roamed the house.
“A.J? You asleep?” She asked in a whisper, and I responded promptly by rustling the covers and turning fully onto my back to face her.
“Not with all the racket you made comin' down here.” I jested lightly, pulling myself to sit up against the armrest, “Y'okay, sugar cube?”
“I was just thinking,” She came around the couch, though her hand followed slower as it trailed the back of the couch while she walked. She knelt down in front of me, pushing the coffee table away to make enough room, “Thinking about you sleeping alone down here. Are you cold?”
“Not particularly.” I replied vaguely, though I had been a mite chilly. She shuffled a little closer to me, and I could feel how warm her body was as she rested her arm on the cushion beside me.
“Do you,” She wove her words through her teeth until she liked the taste, before she let them out and asked me what she pleased, “Would you mind if I just, just hung out down here for a while?”
I smiled as I wiggled my arms out from under the quilt, reaching out and taking her hand in my own as if I was providing some support, “O'course Ah wouldn't mind.”
Rainbow Dash just nodded a bit and moved ever closer, leaning against the couch and resting her head on it, right beside my chest. She turned over and looked out at the television, her thumb absently running over my hand on hers. Whether she knew it or not, a little bit of human interaction appeared to be just what the doctor ordered.
Author's Notes:
Okay, serious face time. I decided to write a story that was a little more hard-hitting than mere relationship stuff, so here we are. Get ready for some real humanity!
Saturday
***
II. Saturday
My face was calm and relaxed as I smiled down at her, playing with the colourful strands of hair that were out of place. She was still passed right the heck out, half on the couch and half on the ground, drooling into the cushions of the sofa while she snored dully. I managed to make my way around her without even causing a stir, and looked down at her more clearly from my feet. We had fallen asleep down in the living room rather quickly, too quickly for me to have scolded her for being up late or sent her up to her bedroom. I anticipated she might wake up in the middle of the night dazed and sick and run back upstairs, but there she was at my side still.
I bent down and wrapped my arms under hers, gripping her body and feeling the lithe outline of it as my still drowsy muscles lifted her up. Rainbow leaned her head against me in her slumber, lying there in my arms for a moment as I placed her onto the couch and adjusted her body until she seemed comfortable. I pulled the quilt over her and watched as she turned a bit, nestling into the warmth like she had missed it.
After a wild goose chase around her kitchen, I managed to wash enough scarce dishes and scrounge up enough ingredients for a home-cooked breakfast. I didn't bother starting it until around noon, surmising she would not crawl out of bed until then, knowing her. I kept it warm in the oven while I scrubbed her counter tops, cleaning what I could while she was still out of it. I had just washed my hands up and started the dishes soaking when I heard her move around.
Her groans were pained and sullen, her body rolling off the couch as she touched her feet to the ground and dragged herself across it. Her eyes were narrow and still half-asleep as she rubbed them over and over while staggering into the kitchen. She furrowed her brows at the sight of me standing there, like she didn't remember, but then she just weakly waved and leaned against the refrigerator to keep herself upright.
“Mornin' sugar cube, how're y'feelin'?” I asked gently as she winced at my words.
Rainbow didn't even reply at all, she just touched her head and rubbed it a bit, seeming like she was more than dizzy. She raised one wavering, trembling finger and held it out, like she was telling me to wait. She stepped an uneasy step backwards and groaned almost inaudibly, grasping at the wall to keep her upright.
Turning suddenly, she darted up the stairs towards the bathroom, her toes stubbing on steps and her knees bending and wobbling. I turned the oven down a bit to make sure the warm-kept food wouldn't burn, and followed after her. I could hear her from the bottom of the stairs, seeing as how she probably didn't have time to shut the door behind her. I touched the rail and felt the smooth, sanded and stained wood like it was interesting before I decided it was time to get moving. Looking at my feet, I slowly crept up towards the second floor, the erratic rhythm of her laboured breathing, scarce cries, and forced chokes a stark contrast to the slow and easy steps of my own two feet.
I stopped at the top of the stairs, peering around the corner of the hall to see just a bit of her, leaning over the toilet in a heap on the bathroom floor. Another heave of her shoulders accompanied a cough that rang out pathetically, though by then I think she was finished. Her shaking hand stretched out and ripped some toilet paper off the roll, which she hadn't bothered to hang up on the bar for easy access, and wiped her mouth, throwing the white fabric into the toilet after. Her hands clutched the toilet bowl roughly as she stared into it, waiting for more. As nothing else seemed to rise from her stomach yet, she slapped at the flush handle, missing twice before managing to pull it down.
I stepped up the last step to the second floor and approached her, leaning a bit to the side so see her body come into view as the door frame widened and moved out of obstruction. She pushed off the toilet and landed on the ground, her legs bent up under her and her open palm smacking the cold tile as her ran her fingers through her messy hair, brushing the yellow and orange strands over the blue and purple. I stood in the door way and looked at her, my eyes worried and sincere. She must have heard me or something, because she looked over with a tired and miserable expression, her eyes watering and bloodshot.
“Go away,” Rainbow murmured weakly as she numbly waved me off, “I don't want you to see me like this.”
“Too late.” I replied as I stepped into the bathroom, kneeling beside her as she made it her mission to turn and keep away from me, holding herself and inching across the tile floor. “You're too proud, y'know that?”
“Whatever.” She grumbled as she tried to crawl away, but overwhelmed by her empty stomach and reeling head, she just sort of laid on the floor and curled up to herself.
“Hey,” I followed her and gingerly slipped my hand under her head, lifting it up and turning her body around to face me, “That can't be too comfy.” I told her as I raised her a bit more, shuffling my bent knees under her torso as I wrapped my arm under her shoulders and around her stomach, holding her against myself.
“Applejack,” Her voice was raspy and beaten, her eyes half-lidded as she looked up at me, tears staining her pale skin and puffing up her beautiful eyes. “You don't have to take care of me, I'm not a child.”
“Y'act like it.” I smiled a bit as she tried to laugh, choking a bit and shaking in my arms as she stifled it to get a hold of herself. I reached up and moved her hair a bit so she could see better, and I slowly let out a sigh. “C'mon sugar cube, why you gotta do this t'yourself?”
“I don't like, plan it or something,” Rainbow Dash responded while she cleared her throat a couple of times, her voice very hoarse and scratchy, “It's not like I say, hey, you know, tonight I'm going to poison myself, I'm going to lock myself up and see how much it takes for my body to stop working.”
“Whether you plan it or not, seems like y'do a fine job of it.” I reminded her as my eyes softened on her face, which was sick and all but colourful the way the rest of her was. Her skin was pale around the edges, her eyes sunken and shadowed with purple loops and lines, her cheeks pink and plush, and her lips a chapped red.
“Guess you're right,” She nodded slowly as she realized it, leaning her head against my chest for a moment before her tired eyes jumped up to mine, “You know, this is the only clear time of day, when I'm lying here in this, this toxic, writhing mess. This is the time when I consider quitting all this drinking shit, when the afternoon or morning sun, whatever it is, when that streaks in and freaking blinds me, catching on the stupid white tile floor.”
I listened closely, but wondered aloud, “Then why don't you?”
“I guess I can never make a real decision about it. I mean, most any morning, here I am curled up by the damn toilet, and there's this wrenching twisting pain in my stomach, and, and my mouth tastes like bile and stale vodka, and the roof is spinning in my pounding skull and I'm choking and coughing and shaking something violent, and my body doesn't feel real or responsive or anything. It feels kinda like I'm dying, like I'm puking up my guts and my lungs and my, whatever else is in there.” She rambled a bit as her hands played the story out in front of her, and I watched on from the other side, “But then the day drags on, and here I am all by myself, no one looking in or telling me what's right and healthy and reasonable, and I'm bored and I'm hurt and I'm so damn lonesome, y'know? And then I take a swing, and everything seems better, because, like, how can it be wrong or anything to do what makes it all go away? And so I do it again and again because, because for like a moment, just a moment, A.J., I forget anything else.”
I nodded faintly as her words wrapped around me, a verbal embrace so cold and honest it chilled me to the bone. I knew then that there was very little I could say to make all that trouble go away, but I did my best, “Ah'm sorry, Rainbow. Ah can't even imagine what you're goin' through.”
“You lost your parents too, Applejack, you kind of do.” She spoke up, but I immediately shook my head.
“Ah was too young to know much different. Ah don't even have any memories of them, but you,” I paused as I fought off a frown from tugging at my chin, “That's all y'got.”
“I don't know about that,” She smiled a bit as she chewed at her lip, avoiding my eyes for a second as she squirmed a bit in my arms, “I mean, I'm not entirely alone. You're here, whether I want you to be or not.” Her fingers balled up and she reached over, punching me in the shoulder so lightly it felt like a child was doing it, “You found a way to break in and hold me captive in my own house. I can't ask for much more.”
“Y'lunatic.” I smirked as I extended my fingers and pressed my palm against her goofy face, covering it for a second before I ran my hand over her head, pushing her hair back. “Well, if you're hungry, Ah made y'some breakfast.”
“I think I just made room.” Rainbow Dash smiled and groaned as she tried to get up, accepting my help as I supported her efforts.
I helped her woozily down the stairs with an arm around her, taking her into the dining room and sitting her down at an actual table while I gathered her plate. I brought it in and placed it in front of her, witnessing her eyes lighting up at the sight of a colourful and fresh meal. She dug in greedily and ate so fast I wasn't sure she was breathing. I dipped back into the kitchen to grab one last thing, and asked for her input on it.
“What do y'want to drink?” I called as I opened her fridge, seeing a few options, most of which I think had yet to expire.
“Orange juice sounds awesome.” Rainbow replied with a mouth full of something, but I obliged her anyway. I poured her a glass of vibrant orange-coloured liquid and brought it over, placing it at her reach. “Thanks.”
I hadn't noticed her get up to get it or anything, but she reached down beside the chair legs and grabbed a tall, round somewhat-empty bottle of clear liquid, twisting off the cap easily and pouring it into the juice. I gasped at her lack of regard, “Rainbow! It's barely past noon!”
“Best cure for a hangover: get so drunk you forget you have a hangover.” She told me as she tipped the bottle to me with a wink, bringing the spiked juice to her lips and gulping it down.
“You're hopeless.” I told her flatly as she enjoyed her breakfast with a sly smile on her face. I shook my head and let it happen, knowing she was not about to change overnight.
We sat on the couch for most of the afternoon, arguing over the television. I rarely watched it in my own leisure, but when I did I was not so keen on letting someone with a short attention span at the controls. Finally we settled on watching some sports channel, where they replayed an old football game for our enjoyment. Now, both of us were more the kind to play sports rather than watch, but it was something we could argue about and comment upon while not missing any plot garbage. Less than half way through the game, Rainbow Dash got out of her seat and went to the kitchen for something, I didn't ask what.
I assumed the game was a rerun as I watched it, seeing as how they edited out a lot of the boring walking around and blabbering stuff. Besides, I think football was usually on Sundays or Mondays live, from what little I knew of television. I didn't even hear Rainbow Dash coming up behind me as I watched a particularly interesting play, a false hand-off followed by a toss half way across the field. I leaned forwards a bit as the ball flew through the air, and actually jumped and yelped in shock as I felt something ice cold touch the back of my neck.
“Ahh!” I shouted as I turned around and touched the now tender and cool flesh, gaping and gawking at the grinning face of my best friend as she snorted a laugh, “Rainbow, what're y'doin'?”
“Grabbing you a beer.” Rainbow Dash replied easily, pushing the bottle closer to me and waving it a bit from side to side like it was tempting. Her grin spread deviously as she let me in on a little secret, “That was pretty cute, A.J.”
I scoffed a bit as I ignored that comment, looking at the brown bottle, a bow-shaped red label wrapping around the neck with charming calligraphy and crowns scrawled across the middle. I knew I had to turn it down, “Ah ain't drinkin'.”
“A country girl turning down a beer? Now, that doesn't sound very down-home, does it?” Rainbow Dash teased me, bending over and leaning on the back of the couch so her face was near to mine, “Listen, if you want me to relax and open up a bit, you're going to have to get on down to my level. Mkay?”
“Ah dunno.” I said as my eyes traced the tempting bottle in her hands.
“Trust me, you'll love it. Be a good sport.” She forced it into my hands and left it there, coming back around the couch and looking around a bit, “Now, I'm sure I had a bottle opener somewhere around—”
I stopped her silent with the sound of the lid hissing as it came off in my teeth, which I then spat onto the coffee table. I brought the bottle to my lips and cast her a smug smile, taking the first refreshing and flavourful sip. Darn, it had been a time since I had a beer, and it was just as good as I remembered. Rainbow Dash shook her head and laughed, flopping down on the couch beside me and leaning her arm on the armrest as she grabbed her vodka again. She took a sip, though it was smaller than those I had seen her take yesterday, and was accompanied by a pleasant and content smile.
We sat there watching the football game the way we used to, just laughing and making passing comments as we nudged each other once and again. I liked it, I liked spending time with my best friend again. I really had been too long. None of my other friends were as similar to me or enjoyed the little things that I did. No, Rainbow stood out all by her self.
A while passed before she grabbed me another beer, which again I had not asked for, and when she returned I had sunk deep into the couch. I extended my legs over the coffee table, closing one eye as I shifted the focus of my vision from my wiggling, bare toes to the television that played on between them.
Rainbow Dash came around the couch and stood in front of me, stepping one foot over both of my legs as she leaned closer and placed the new, cold beer right there on my worn-old bronze belt buckle. She swung her other leg over mine and skidded uneasily a bit as she plopped down right beside me, a little closer than she had sat before. Kicking her own legs up onto the coffee table and slinking down in her seat so her shoulders touched the bottom of the cushion like mine, she knocked her bare feet into mine. She was a bit shorter than me, so she had to scoot down a little lower than I did to have her feet line up with mine, and she hit my feet with hers again, glancing over at me with a playful smile.
I cracked my fresh beer open and tapped it against the bottle she was holding over her midsection, the clinking noise a crisp and clean sound in the cluttered and dark room. As the subtle haze of liquor began to drift over us, I found that we became a mite more interested in the game than we should have. Before I knew it we were up on the edges of our seats yelling at the television and each other, calling out rules or suggestions or remarks.
“What kind of play was that? Come on, who's calling the shots here?” Rainbow Dash snorted as she waved her hands in frustration.
“It wasn't t'play that was s'darn flawed, that handoff was somethin' awful,” I argued as the replay was slowed across the screen, “Ah could see that ball switchin' hands from the cheap seats!”
“Oh, oh you think you could make that work?” Rainbow Dash chortled defiantly as she pointed at the television.
“As a matter o' fact,” I started to tell her, but she jumped upright in her seat.
“Well, come on then, do tell!” She nudged her knee against my thigh, gesturing for me to get up, “Come on, let's do it.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my seat, barely giving me the time to place my beer on the coffee table as she directed me around the couch to the foyer, putting her hands on her hips and looking at me sceptically.
“You really wanna know?” I asked antagonistically as I stood opposite her, cocking my head.
“I do, I really do. I'm waiting.” She opened her palms and displayed them to me, waiting for my instruction.
“All right then. See, my running back here, she may be fast, but she's a mite thin and frail,” I told her as I poked her in the stomach, feeling the lack of definition as she narrowed her eyes and frowned, “So Ah don't want her gettin' any kind of brunt force t'deal with, right? So Ah gotta make sure no one knows she's got the ball until she's well past the danger. That means it's real important that Ah perform a good handoff.”
“Okay, so how do you do that?” Rainbow asked me curiously as the rest of the game played on behind us.
“Ah'll show you,” I took her hands and guided them, bending her elbows and pressing her forearms close against her body, making a nice wide pocket for a ball. “Y'gotta give me a good area to put the ball, cause Ah'm just turnin' around and Ah need to do this quick, all right? Right, so one'a your hands gets tucked right here under your,” I swallowed as I avoided the word, knowing that she would understand what I meant as I pushed her hand right up under her breasts, my own fingers brushing against her, “Yeah, like that, and your other one goes down here, ready to close in 'round the ball.”
“Huh, yeah, that makes sense.” She nodded as she let me direct her, watching my movements. Her head snapped up and her eyes collided with mine, “Do it.”
“Do what?” I asked curiously as she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.
“Do it, like, the handoff.” She growled obviously as she stepped back, putting her hands down on her knees and nodding at me to do the same.
“Oh, uh, okay,” I anxiously agreed and turned around, bending down as if I was receiving the snap. I cleared my throat a bit as I planted my feet, “Hike!” I said quickly, pretending to grab the football and turn around, stepping real close to Rainbow Dash as she brushed against me, her hands rubbing against mine as she took the fake pass, closing her arms around it and taking off past me.
“And she's off!" Rainbow Dash started to yell, "Look at that, the running back races across the field, leaving the opposing team in the dust! No one can run like her, and the crowd goes wild!” She called out with a laugh as she stuffed the pretend ball under her arm, pumping her other fist in the air as she ran in slow motion.
“What's this? The running back's big ol' head has obstructed her focus on the game,” I added as I hurried after her, forcing her into a breakneck sprint. Of course, I was already too close to her by then for her to escape, “Just feet from the end zone, and she stumbles over that pride o' hers!”
“Hey!” Rainbow Dash complained as I squeezed my arms around her, picking her up with ease and tossing her over my shoulder, “Applejack! Put me down!”
We laughed whole-heartedly as I spun around with her over my shoulder, though she was struggling and kicking like it would help. I carried her back to the couch and tossed her down on her back against the lush cushions, our breathing heavy with laughter as we settled down. By then, I had released my hold on her and instead leaned over her on the couch, holding myself above her. Our laughing subsided slowly as I looked up into her eyes, which for once were shining big and bright the way I remembered them. Before I could say anything, she broke into a more hysterical fit of giggles as some idea filled her head, and I raised an eyebrow wondering what it might have been.
“What're you laughin' at?” I asked her curiously, my knee digging into the couch as I lifted myself up a bit from hanging over her. A devilish grin spread across her face as her eyes rubbed coarsely against mine.
“Imagine what we would be doing if we had been watching porn instead.” Came her words, and my jaw dropped. I joined her in laughter but slapped her hard on the shoulder as a scold, pushing myself over and sitting at her feet instead.
She reached her hand out to me and I grabbed it, pulling her up in her seat so she was sitting upright again. She looked back over at the bottle of vodka that called her name so loud, and for a moment she did nothing more. But inevitably, she reached back out and took it, bringing it to her quiet lips and sucking back a toxic sip. I watched her sadly and mirrored the motion, at least not leaving her alone to do it.
I couldn't tell much when the dusk fell, Rainbow Dash always had the curtains drawn closed. But soon enough, the night fell around us as sure as the sun would rise again. We had already finished dinner a while ago, pizza as it was, that Rainbow ordered and got the guy to pass in through the window, since I wouldn't let her go near the door. I picked up the empty box and broke it in, stuffing it into the garbage before I put away some of the dishes I had left to dry.
I didn't realize how long I had been in her kitchen cleaning up, that is, until I saw her again. I turned around and nearly jumped out of my skin, finding Rainbow Dash standing there before me with this curiously calm expression. She just looked at me for a moment, and there was this silence between us that I really can't find the words to describe well enough. Finally, she came over to me, and her eyes dropped to the floor as her expression became somewhat shy or grouchy, chewing on her cheek.
“Applejack,” Rainbow Dash wiggled her toes a bit on the kitchen floor as she spoke, “Stop cleaning already. Can we, like, go upstairs for a bit? There's nothing on TV, or whatever.”
“Yeah, sure.” I agreed easily as I washed my hands up, drying them on the back of my jeans while she started up before me, grabbing her bottle and heading up the stairs.
I followed her shortly afterwards, once I dipped into the living room and shut off that television she left on. As I expected, I found her in her bedroom, sitting on the opposite side of her bed and taking a sip or two from that darn bottle that seemed to be attached to her hand. I noticed how dark it was in there, and walked over to her window where the drapes were pulled shut. Grabbing the folds with my hands, I yanked them open, but instead of a beautiful cityscape, I saw cardboard. She had duct taped all these broken-down cardboard boxes in front of her window, as if she was trying to keep the sun completely out.
Sighing lowly, I reached up and began to pry them out of the window frames, ripping them down and tossing them to the ground which was already covered in a mess. I finally plucked each fold and layer of cardboard out of the way and peered out, seeing the dark sky, the extensive constellation of buildings, and rolling hills beyond. I heard Rainbow Dash shuffle around and grumble something at my invasion, but she did not tell me to stop.
“It's a lovely night out, Rainbow.” I told her as I looked out with a much gentler sigh.
“I bet.” She retorted sarcastically, and I glanced over at her.
She was sprawled out on her bed with her arms folded up under her head lazily, her legs extended and crossed one over the other, facing away from me with a somewhat scrunched up expression. I didn't dare ask why she would not come over and have a look, in fact, I didn't need to. As I turned my gaze back out the window, I noticed the dim outlines of a swing set in the back yard, something that used to shine but was now overgrown and sagging. There were a few objects out in the grass too, toys or forgotten tools, things that must have been well used up until last summer. It was no wonder those things were boarded up out of view.
My eyes lifted up again as I searched the horizon, finding very minute traces of a tree line. Even from this distance, I could name and know each plush round of leaves and branches as they hung so far away. I smiled as I recognized them over the hills, and tilted my head a bit as I spoke again.
“Ah can see the orchard from here, y'know,” I told her, and she looked over at me at last with something of interest in her expression, “The East field, Ah think. Ah bet a good spell'a daylight would show us them bright red apples.”
“Yeah?” Rainbow's voice lifted a bit as she heard that, and I let the drapes slide slightly closed as I left them, “That's cool.”
“It's kinda funny, you ain't been to the orchard in, what, a good long time?” I reminded her as I sat down on the end of her bed, turning to look at her while I spoke, “But ain't nothin' much has changed.”
“I don't think that very much has changed in the whole time I've known that farm of yours.” She smirked a bit as she thought about it, bouncing one leg on the other, “Except when we painted the barn.”
“Oh, don't get me started on that.” I chuckled as I remembered the incident, “We got ourselves into that one, Rainbow.”
“I remember, we were rough-housing in the barn after you dared me to jump from the loft into the hay stack.” She sat up a bit as she recounted.
“Dared you? Ah didn't dare you, you read Darin' Do the night before and said that Darin', that she leapt out of a crumblin' temple, grabbed a vine and swung out over a gorge, landin' on a bush. Ah said that'd be darn near impossible, so you cooked up that crazy scheme.” I reminded her readily, shaking my head as I turned further around to face her.
“You remember all that?” Rainbow Dash curiously asked, but at my lack of response she smiled again, “Whatever the case, you were still bickering about it after I did it, so I tried to shut you up. Of course, I was pretty small, and that farm work made you into one hell of a threat. You shoved me right through the barn wall!”
“Ah did not! We were fightin' and you tripped over a rake!” I retorted in debate, but really I think I may have actually shoved her. “There was this big ol' hole in the barn, and Granny got s'mad she mad us fix it up ourselves and paint it back to red.”
“Except then the rest of that old house of lumber scraps looked really faded once we did, so she made us paint the whole thing,” Rainbow Dash snickered a bit and shook her head, “And if I'm not mistaken, I had to do all that with a cast on my arm.”
“Yeah, y'broke it in that hay-jumping stunt o'yours.” I nudged her legs, since they were the closest thing to me, and she scoffed loudly.
“I think I still have it around here somewhere, actually,” She rolled out of bed real wobbly like as she went looking for it, pulling an old box down from the top shelf of her closet.
She rummaged around a bit before she revealed it, a cast of her arm with this gap in the side where they cut it off. It was just as I remembered, all small and dirty and signed and such. She brought it over and stood in front of me, holding it between us as she turned it over in her hand. I noticed the three little spots of red barn paint on it as clear as day and touched them, running my fingers along them.
“R'member this?” I asked curiously as my eyes settled on the mark.
“Yeah, you were up on a ladder painting above me, you wouldn't let me climb up there even though I was better with heights than you, since you thought I'd fall again and break my other arm and be completely useless.” Rainbow rambled on a bit before she remembered the question, “You dripped those three drops on me before I even noticed, I got so mad thinking you might have got it on my hair or something.”
“Ah climbed on down and had a look, and once you stopped shoutin' at me you had a look too, said they looked like three little red apples. Ah told you, that ain't what apples look like, y'numbskull, so Ah painted 'em up right.” My fingers followed the brush strokes which had fixed the little drops into apples.
“Yeah, I wore those three apples on my arm for weeks.” She agreed with a nod as she went to put the cast away, shoving the box up where it belonged. “We were such little brats, weren't we?”
“Ah reckon so.” I concurred while she came back around and took another sip of vodka before she laid out on the bed in the same manner as before.
“That seems like a lifetime ago.” Rainbow Dash said quietly as she relaxed, her eyelids slipping over her eyes a bit as she became sullen again, “I feel like an entirely different person now.”
“We're always changin', Rainbow, that don't hafta be a bad thing.” I tried to remind her, but she scowled a bit and wouldn't look right at me.
“Our friends seem to think so.” Rainbow murmured as she stared at the bottle, debating whether or not to drink again so soon, I'd think.
“That ain't 'cause'a how you are, that's 'cause'a how you act all aggressive, or how they don't wanna face anything serious.” I said gently as I watched her struggle with her vice, just gazing at it and mulling it over.
She was quiet for a bit and I almost thought she had closed back in on herself, that is, until she suddenly brought up a conversation that did not seem very much like her to have, “Do you ever think about God, Applejack?”
“God?” I repeated, and she faintly nodded up and down as her sweet pink eyes traced the clear liquid, seeming like water in purity but so poisonous and evil it ought to have been red instead, “Well sure Ah s'pose, sometimes. Ah ain't much for that stuff, but sure, once in a while Ah think about it.”
“You think he cares when people are hurting?” Her eyes narrowed slowly, and she kept herself still as the thoughts streamed out, “To be honest, maybe I haven't been clear enough with him or something. I mean, did you know I haven't even cried about the accident, not after all this time? If he's not all knowing and stuff, maybe he just doesn't freaking see how much it hurts. Maybe I'm just not the kind of person capable of that.”
“Ah think we're all the cryin' kinda people, at times.” I told her, but she did not seem to agree.
“Anyway, I've been laying here, alone in this empty bed, for over a year now.” Her hands slipped around and squeezed at the covers, “Nights are pretty hard to get through like that, Applejack. And it's just like, the rest of the world may be asleep sometimes, but I'm not. I'm just laying here staring up at the sky, and still nothing happens.”
I had to be careful with my words, seeing her so calm and thoughtful was unnerving, I wasn't sure how she would react, “What'd y'want to happen?”
“Anything I guess.” Rainbow Dash kind of shrugged and looked up at her ceiling, but her next few words did not come out loathing or angry, “Maybe, maybe he should just drop the roof in on me, you know, to shut me up.”
“Y'shouldn't be thinkin' that stuff.” I warned her as my eyes ran over her seemingly relaxed body.
“I know. But it really makes you wonder, why do you think bad things happen at all?” She questioned as she tilted her head a bit on her arms, like she was making pictures in the little dots that hung above her, “Do you think, do you think he just sits up there and goes around squashing people, or do you think he just doesn't pay enough attention to stop those bad things?”
“Beats me, Ah reckon it'd be real hard to control quite everythin'.” I spoke honestly, kicking my feet back and forth over the end of the bed and I leaned back on my hands, pressing them into the covers right behind me to keep me upright.
“Right, I mean if people have freedom of choice, then how is anything that happens part of that divine bastard's will? I bet it's not. It's just a groundless way to try and rationalize random crap, it's probably easier to think it all freaking means something than face the truth.” Rainbow Dash argued simply, seeming less than invested in any idea of divinity, putting her faith instead in that liquid she gulped down between philosophical ideas.
“Y'never know that kinda thing, Ah guess.” Came my weak response. She sighed loudly and moved around, I could hear her body shifting over the covers of her bed as she did.
“For a while, I considered praying up there, telling him to fix things or something. But he won't do that, the die has been cast, the cards have fallen, right? You can't just pray and hope to change the past. I'd pray that it never happens again, but I really don't have that much more to lose.” It all sounded so awfully pathetic and melancholy, that is, until the last two words, “Except you.”
“That better not be why y'kept avoidin' me.” I grumbled irritably as I raised an accusing eyebrow at her. Really though, it made me feel kind of warm and happy to hear her say it. But this was not about me.
“If God exists at all, whichever God of whichever religion it may be, I don't want to pray to him, or her, or them.” She got back to the subject with a stern expression, “I mean, you shove so much love into the things you care about, stuff them right up and keep them really close to you, right? And you think that love, that it'll like protect them or something. But that's stupid, I mean come on, it won't. God's not just going to be like, oh I can't kill this innocent child, they're really loved. No, it's not like that. No matter how much love you inject into your friends or family or whatever, it's just going to come around and bite you.”
“Maybe.” I didn't like the way that all sounded, and as much as I didn't want to upset her, I didn't want her thinking stuff like that, so I told her something otherwise. “Ah dunno, Rainbow. Way I see it, is we ain't got much. So, in the face'a all that darkness, Ah want somethin' nice. If Ah were t'just up and die tomorrow, Ah'd like you to have known me real good, so that memory ain't never gonna fade. And if you were gonna die, well, Ah'd be even gladder that Ah got to spend this weekend with you.”
Rainbow Dash's face slowly shifted into a soft smile as she stared up above her, “Maybe he sent you.”
I blushed a bit as she said that, finding it oddly flattering. I remembered something then, and decided to spit it out between us, “Well, from what Ah remember o'what Ah heard 'bout Christianity an' stuff, Jesus Christ himself was dead for three days, over a weekend just like this. Then suddenly, out o'the dust, he rises back up.” I told her as I met her curious gaze, “Ah dunno if that's true or nothin', but it sounds kinda nice.”
“This, this mourning or depression or whatever, this is the kind of thing that lasts longer than just a few days, though.” Her face fell, but thoughtfully, “I think.”
“Dependin' on how long it takes that wound in your side to heal up.” I smirked as I reached over and poked at her liver, and she flinched, probably not understanding the reference.
“I don't get it.” She growled as she peered down at me from a body-length away, her body-length, in fact.
“Yeah, Ah didn't think y'would.” I nodded, and proceeded to enlighten her about it, “See, after Jesus was crucified and all, the Romans came back 'round, and found him dead. But them trained soldiers, they needed to make sure o'it, so one soldier went and stabbed his corpse, right there into that poor, tortured man's body. Kinda reminds me of what's goin' on t'your liver, is all.”
She blinked with surprise as she heard that, and finally she replied, “You know a lot about that stuff?”
“Nah, nothin' more than than Granny's mentioned in passing. Like Ah said, Ah ain't much for religions or myths or what have you.” I told her sheepishly, and really I was not too well taught on that stuff either, “My parents were kinda religious, though. That's what Granny told me.”
“You don't remember much about them, do you?” Rainbow Dash asked me, and I shook my head easily. The topic didn't unsettle me or anything, not at all, “Yeah, I guess you were pretty young. And what you would remember, it would probably be a lie anyway.”
“What'd y'mean?” My eyebrows lowered over my eyes and I heard some bitterness in her mouth.
“Well, when I was a kid, I used to think my parents had the perfect marriage, like they were made for each other. It was like, like one of those stupid sickening love stories, you know?” She shook her head and faked a smile, glancing at the bottle another once or twice as her eyes had no where else they wanted to look, “Like a damn fairy tale, like those books and movies we watched and watched over and over whether we really understood them or not.”
“What happened?” I asked her curiously, hoping it was not too personal to ask.
“Nothing, I don't think. It was probably always just a sham, I wouldn't have known the difference.” She shrugged apathetically, but went on, “See, my parents always seemed like the perfect couple. Seemed, as it was. Like, they dressed alike, they always knew what the other was thinking and could like, reason with them and calm each other down when they were angry. They even did that thing where they like reached over onto each other's plate and picked off what they knew the other didn't like.” Rainbow's eyes hit mine hard as she went on, “You know, like I do with your onions and your olives.”
“And m'pickles.” I added with a crooked smile, and she seemed to like it.
“And your pickles! Man, you're a boring eater, you know that?” She repeated pleasantly and nostalgically, “But anyway, my parents were like that, really good together. Or, you know, they seemed like it when I was a kid. Of course, I didn't know any better than to believe what I saw.”
“Ah'm sure they tried their best.” I said slowly, watching her reaction as she bit at her lip.
“Yeah, but I don't know if they should have. I mean, they stayed together for me or for Scootaloo, or whatever, but all that really did was warp what idea of love I adopted.” Rainbow's feet bounced up and down anxiously as she spoke of them, “My dad was an angry son of a gun, my mom, she was just like, a shell of a person by the end of it. I kept expecting them to get a divorce, but they never did. Just kept pushing through even though they were miserable. What kind of picture does that paint?”
“Diligence ain't somethin' to frown on. Ah'm sure marriage ain't easy, Rainbow.” I told her as I turned back around and folded my wrists over my knees. I felt her move around again, and noticed as she scooted up beside me and sat on the edge of the bed with me.
“It sure isn't. If my parents weren't already so fractured or broken or whatever, their marriage sure finished the job. Who am I to say if they were better off alone, of course.” She kicked her legs out and looked down at the ground as she spoke with me, honesty flowing out in droves between us in a way we had not done in a long time. “Mom found out that dad had been lying to her for some time, she was really torn up about it. She knew for so long, Applejack, but still she just rationalized it. She'd sigh and say things like, such is life, like, what can you do?, or it can't be helped.”
“We all cope differently.” My voice was quiet as I interjected, but she went on.
“Or we don't cope at all.” She smiled sadly as she recognized her own vice, and I watched her rub her hands together in her lap, “It just makes me kind of sad, you know. The days drag on like some measurement, like the sun going up and down cuts off each fragment of time, like it's that simple. And there's no end, we just live on and on and we rise and set like sections of time, and people sit next to us, or lay next to us in our beds, but we don't really know them. They're not really with us, we're all alone, all freaking alone, and if we're not, we will end up that way. Those people beside us or in our arms, they're the people who hurt us most, who shatter us and drown us. So yeah, such is life. Such is life, mom.”
“You really believe that?” I spoke so gently as my eyes settled on her, her words just sputtering about and smelling of a habit she could do without.
“I don't know, it seems right.” She shrugged and made a face, “But the part of me that was conditioned to believe in fairy tales, it stupidly still hangs on. Like, wake up, you stupid naïve little brat.”
“Just 'cause one love didn't last, Rainbow, it don't mean that it's impossible. Everyone's a little torn up, a little naïve and holdin' on a little tight to somethin' stupid.” I leaned against her for a second, supportively feeling her trembling body.
“Even you?” Her eyes ran up to meet mine, shaking with the intoxication that often drifted focus. But somewhere inside I could see that little bit of hope, that stupid naïve girl she spoke of, looking out.
“O'course, even me. There are a lot'a broken people, Rainbow.” I spoke in a long sigh, relaxing as I watched her listen carefully, her pink eyes still shimmering and admiring something she hadn't entirely lost. I reached over and took her hand, trying on a comforting smile, “Ah guess the only thing we can do is look real close, maybe hope t'find another broken person whose pieces fit together with our own.”
Her lips hit mine without warning and immediately she slipped her tingling, vodka-flavoured tongue into my mouth. It was so damn surprising I nearly chocked on her, but my body couldn't even move much at all. She passionately took me over, and for a second I was suspended in shock or ecstasy. As her free hand slid over my cheek almost tenderly, the hand in my own squeezed and her knees touched mine, her body pressing so near it terrified me.
I managed to move against her, but even I wasn't sold on whether I was pushing her away or kissing her back. I pulled back suddenly, my wide eyes grinding against hers as we sat there in silence and stillness. I was on my feet in an instant, and I had my hand over my mouth as I raced out of her room and rounded the corner at the stairs, flying down them so quickly my vision blurred about and I could have fallen right off my balance. I hit the foyer and wanted to keep going, wanted to break down the obstacle that I myself had placed to keep us in.
And there I was, at the front door, and the past two days flashed before my eyes.
I pressed myself up against the front door and hit it with my forehead, leaning one knee onto the balancing chair I had shoved under the door knob to keep it shut. I knew I couldn't leave her, I had put this chair here to remind me of that. Even if it all killed me, be it the booze or the shouting or whatever else she'd do to me, I knew I'd have to stick it out the whole weekend. She was my friend, that broken down, sorry-sick girl, she was my best friend.
I didn't know why she would do such a thing, but I guessed it had something to do with the topic and the mass amounts of liquor she had consumed since she threw yesterday's ration up. I felt the affected area of my lips and moved my tongue around, still feeling the slimy, taboo sensation of her tongue against mine and tasting the poison in my mouth. It wasn't that I hated it entirely, but it was unsettling and revealing, and for all I knew, meaningless. But again, this was not about me, it did not matter how upset or confused it made me, the entire reason I locked myself in here was for her. I could not go back on that now.
I shoved off the door roughly, so roughly I had to step back hard to keep from falling backwards. My arms swung back and forth as I made up my mind, and I turned on my heel, heading back up the stairs determinedly. I paused as my toes touched the final step towards the second floor, hearing the muffled, quiet sounds of something terribly upsetting. I peered towards her room, the door still pushed open from when I had charged out, the light sliding over the wooden floor.
My feet touched the cool wood with each bare step, each movement gradually pressing against the ground rather than stepping or stomping. I touched the door frame as I peered in, watching her small body shake, rising and falling quickly and erratically as she laid there on her bed, stretched out on her stomach with her face buried in her pillow. Her arms were wrapped around the plush object, holding it against her face as she fought off bursts of emotion that sounded an awful lot like crying. I leaned into the room, her sadness a beacon that pulled me towards her despite my fear and discomfort.
“You, you, you idiot,” I could barely make out her words through her horrid snivelling, her body shaking and jumping and falling apart around her. She was speaking to herself, “You stupid little, you, you stupid,” She couldn’t even finish, but her hand shot out and grabbed the bottle, which had become nearly empty I noticed.
She yanked it over and brought it to her lips, or at least I imagined she did, she was facing away from me you see, her bedside table on the opposite side of the bed from the door. Rainbow Dash tipped it all the way back, and I watched in solemn silence as every last drop poured down her throat, and even that did not satisfy her. My eyes were broken open and locked on her as she shook the bottle to get the last of it, and squeezed it, groaning angrily. My feet moved slowly into the room, the light catching on my clothes and skin as I closed some distance. With a pathetic whimper and shout, Rainbow Dash chucked her vice right over her shoulder, the glass bottle flipping and spinning menacingly through the air.
I reached out and stepped to the side, catching the emptied vodka bottle upside down in my raised hand. Rainbow Dash froze as the satisfying smash was not heard, and instead was replaced with the muffled sound of a catch. I could feel the few remnant drops of a seemingly empty bottle drip out of the mouth, hitting my long sleeve and my wrist, trickling down to my elbow. She slowly turned around, her body shivering with each stifled snivel, and her eyes met mine at last.
I witnessed her honest pain right there, right there in those seemingly bright eyes. Her lips quivered as she made for words, but for a few seconds silence was all that breached her throat. Tears were still moist on her cheeks and her eyes had become dark and red once more. I lowered my hand and her bottle, swinging my arm and lightly tossing the apothecary's popular poison onto some dirtied clothes in a pile by her closet.
“Applejack,” My name was on her lips, and it was rough and rueful, “I thought you, I thought you left.” Rainbow Dash sniffled a couple times as she acted like I couldn't tell what she was doing. I didn't respond, I just stepped a little closer to her, my bare feet peeling off the wooden floor and finding a soft spot on her rug instead. “Just leave already, did—didn't I make, make it clear enough? You stupid simpleton, just, just leave.”
I was still silent as I made it to her bed, and I slid my knee onto it, climbing over her messed, wrinkled covers despite the difficulty and making my way to her. She moved away from me, her eyes pleading and frustrated, not angry with me but with something. I reached out and touched her, taking her by the shoulders tightly and holding her still. She tried to fight me, shoving me away and arguing.
“Get off of me! Let go! You can't just—!” Her voice was stuffed with cries until I pressed her against myself, holding her head on my shoulder.
She still struggled, pushing me off as her arms were bent up between us. We sat there on her bed as she shook, yelling into my shirt incoherent statements as she violently attacked me. Her strength gave way abruptly though, and she held her whole body against me as her cries returned. It started off small, her tears and her words seeping into my shirt.
“I—I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry,” I made out between snivels and sobs, and I felt my heart in my throat, and quarrelled with a pathetic frown of my own, holding back threatening tears instead for consolation, “I'm sorry.”
Her cries were loud, they were passionate and violent, they were strong and forceful and compelling, they were riveting and unstoppable. I released my commanding hold on her to wrap my arms around her shaking form, rubbing her back comfortingly as she went on. I had never heard such horrible aching before, such driven sorrow. I gently rubbed circles around her, and though I wished I could ease her with soft shushing, I said nothing that told her to stop. I did not know when these emotions would breach her again, and she needed to express them.
She slipped down my body, her arms moving around me as we got comfortable. I could feel the damp spots on my clothes from her tears, the wrinkles on my collar, the bunched up folds of my shirt as she squeezed me for support. Finally, her head made its way to my lap, and she curled up, laying there facing away from me as I stroked her hair. I was kneeling on bent legs now, and though they were numbing and tired, I did not move while she was in my arms and on my lap.
I never before had to think about Rainbow Dash crying, such an idea never crossed my mind; but even if it had, I don't think I would have expected it to be anything like this. My chest got all tight to feel the formerly outgoing and dynamic Rainbow Dash reduced to a mere mortal in my arms. Her sobs finally subsided, but in their absence her body still heaved in each short, sharp breath, and still my hand ran over her head, soothing her as best I could. It seemed at last that all of her pent up frustration had been expelled. There was nothing more I could do for her than that.
She was calming down slowly, as my toes lost their feeling but the rest of me was full of it. I could feel her body shake against mine, and she moved a bit to get more comfortable, rubbing against me fondly. I heard her sniff once or twice as a comfortable silence fell between us, though it did not push us apart. She didn't flip over and look at me, but words escaped her.
“Did I tell you much about it, A.J?” It was so raspy and fragmented, coming out in specks and flecks and cracking the air into fractions as she spoke, prodding the silence and flicking it, “The crash?”
“Not much, all Ah know is that it was a drunk driver.” I replied honestly, my words soft and calm as they rolled out, trying to be supportive and give her a reason to go on and speak of these thing she had kept from me, “But Ah'm listenin', sugar cube.”
“You're right, it was a drunk driver.” Rainbow Dash nodded faintly in my lap, but her weakened fingers squeezed at me as she went on, “It was my dad.”
I paused in stoking her, closing my eyes and frowning as it all made sense suddenly, all this sickness and pain. She could not just blame some stranger, she had to blame the people she loved and the people she lost, “Y'mad at him?”
“Of course I'm mad at him! Because of that idiot and his stupid—” She stopped herself and her outburst, taking in a shaky breath to get back on the topic, and I went back to soothing her, “He took everything away from me, Applejack.” Rainbow Dash huffed a weak laugh and her voice got much calmer, “I remember exactly what we were talking about when it happened, you know that?”
“Y'do?” I asked gently, feeling her move around a bit.
“Yeah, how could I forget?” She turned a bit, looking right up at me while she revealed it, “Applejack, we were talking about you.”
“What? Me?” I blinked in shock, watching her admiring eyes go dull again as she looked away.
“My dad never thought it was a big deal to have a beer or two before driving, he thought he was a good enough driver, even though the bastard was on his phone the whole time or fixing his hair in the mirror.” She told me with venom on her tongue, “It was one of the few times he took the whole family to see one of my soccer games, Scootaloo begged him for a week to do it.”
“That must'a been nice.” I spoke, but she scoffed at the idea and tensed up a bit to recall.
“The whole time I was playing he was chatting on the phone to someone at work. Not that I was surprised.” Rainbow shrugged in my lap, but kept going, “Anyway, he's drunk, whatever, that was normal. My mom's sitting in the front seat just looking ahead into the passing headlights like there was nothing much going on up there. That's how she always got when he was yelling, never said a word like she was afraid of the guy or something.”
“He was yellin'?” I inquired as my sorrowful eyes traced her. She had told me about his temper before, I imagined that was where she got her own. That must have really bothered her.
“Oh, screaming. He always was. And mom was just sitting there like a damn statue while he went off. He never hit her or anything, but I'm sure whatever he did to brainwash her was much worse. See, she used to be like a self-made woman, right? Investment banker for twenty years, put herself through school, owned her own business, all that garbage. But my father broke her in, let me tell you.” Rainbow Dash nodded vacantly, “Anyway, mom's being all slate-faced and dad's going off at me about my choice in clothing.”
“That seems like a silly thing t'go off about.” I told her honestly, wondering what could possess someone to get upset over something so trivial.
“It was, right?! But, like, he was so mad that I didn't wear any of these clothes my mom used to buy me, like pink cardigans and skirts and shit. Not that it was much of his business or anything.” It sounded like she was still stuck in the argument, but I knew where she was coming from, “Anyway, he starts snapping at me, saying I'm like ungrateful or a little brat and stuff, saying I dress like a boy. A boy!”
“Imagine that.” I smiled a bit to hear it. It was true, after all.
“Okay, to be fair I kind of was, but see, I like that stuff, you know? I don't have to dress like a slut to feel good about myself, I like being different.” I liked her being different too, she was not like everyone else, and she was not afraid to show it. “I guess he didn't, he wants me to be his little princess or something, says I'm corrupting my sister into becoming a tomboy or a runaway or whatever. Then he gets real quiet as he looks at me in the rear-view, right? Sees my scowl and stuff and just freaking stares at me.” She looked up at me, “Then he starts accusing me of doing drugs or something, like, me!? Come on, I would never, I am an athlete, I wouldn't do that stuff, right?”
“Ah know, you ain't gotta explain it to me.” I reminded her, and she gestured her hands around as she responded.
“Right, because see, you get me. Anyway, he won't let up, asking me all these questions about why he never sees me with guys, why I dress all baggy and boyish, why I'm so angry and distant and stuff. Then, he figures it out, and he like turns right around and looks at me with those crows-feet eyes and that deep old frown. And he doesn't even ask or anything he just freaking says it,” Rainbow's eyes nervously touched mine, and she chewed at her lip until the words came out, though they were her fathers and not her own, “You're a lesbian.”
“What?” I swallowed and went still, but she did not push me for my reaction, she just jumped right back into the conflict as usual.
“But see he doesn't even let me talk! He just goes off on me like it's all suddenly true, like right then and there I'm like a different person. And that's when you come in. He brings you up because he knows how close we are and how much time we spend together, but see when he says that, I flinch!” I myself flinched when she said that, and I could see the rosiness darkening on her cheeks as she told me these things, “I flinch, Applejack. I go bright red because I'm so embarrassed and frustrated and upset, and he notices it and just starts calling me all these awful things and saying I'm broken or making a bad decision, like how is that a decision?!”
“Rainbow,” I murmured gently, but she was not done.
“He says it's disgusting. Like I'm disgusting. He says that I'm sick and shit, but I tell him, I say oh, I'm the sick one? You're the one dating the floozy who's barely older than I am, like come on!” Her eyes were wet again, but she did not start crying again, she needed to get the words out. “And my mom says freaking nothing, and I know she knows all about the other woman, because she's the one who told me about it. His mistress calls her up one day and asks her out to lunch, tells my mom that my dad is going to just up and leave our family for her or some shit. But, like, here they are, they're still sitting in the car with each other or eating dinner together like nothing is wrong!”
“Oh, Rainbow.” I whispered softly and sadly as I stroked her head once more.
“Anyway, he says that I'm the sick one, that anything I might want is just disgusting and wrong and, and whatever!” She nearly shouted, throwing her hands up as her anger seemed to burst, and her words were distant and rueful, “And that's when it happens. He's so damn focused on yelling at me, he turns to look at me and his one hand on the steering wheel shifts a bit, turning us right into oncoming traffic.”
I closed my eyes for a second as I breathed slowly, calming myself enough to speak evenly as I consoled her, “Ah'm sorry.”
“I never even got to tell him the truth, or tell anyone for that matter.” Rainbow told me like it bothered her, but she furrowed her eyebrows suddenly and got a different idea, and she moved out of my lap, “But you know what, he doesn't even deserve to know. But you do. Applejack, I've never told anyone this, okay?” She sat up in front of me, our knees touching as she mirrored my pose. She looked into my lap and grabbed my hands in her own, holding them like she never wanted to stop. Rainbow Dash's eyes flickered up and met mine, and honesty came from them, “Applejack, I'm gay.”
It felt very intimate, sitting here with her and hearing her secrets. It was warm and comfortable, and I couldn't keep the smile from breaching my face as the words brought a fluster to my own cheeks, “Y'know, Ah kinda figured as much when y'kissed me.”
“When I—?” It almost sounded like she forgot, but her voice failed her and her mouth was left open as the memory hit her. She was suddenly very embarrassed, and she looked down again as she chewed on her lips, “Oh, right.”
I watched her as she stared at our hands again, her fingers feeling the familiarity of my own. She let out a long and calming sigh as she breathed me in, mulling over her thoughts as she continually avoided my gaze. I tilted my head and leaned forwards a bit, hoping to catch it back. Her mouth opened a bit once or twice before she managed to get it out, and I listened carefully.
“I'm sorry, Applejack. About that.” Rainbow told me, though it was hard for her to say, and she could not even speak directly about it.
“Don't be. It, well it wasn't so much the kiss, as it was,” I tried to be comforting, but vague enough that I did not lead her on or anything. After all, she was in a bad place then, and it was probably just a mistake. I could not toy with her. “Well Ah certainly didn't expect it or nothin', but it's just that, well you're drunk, so... Ah dunno. Ah guess Ah just like kisses t'mean somethin', not to just happen 'cause you're bored or upset and Ah'm sittin' too near.”
Her gaze was on mine again, and she squeezed my hands tighter as if it would say more than her words, which were few, “That's not why I did it.”
“It's al'right, Rainbow. We don't hafta talk about it.” I reminded her with a nod, letting her relax and giving her an out. She seemed to take it, as she settled back down.
“I'm tired.” Her voice was much smaller now, and it was kind of shy.
“Ah know, sugar cube.” I acknowledge as I moved, letting one of her hands go as I reached over and pulled her covers out of the way, making it easier for her to climb into bed.
I raised her hand in mine and directed her over to her pillow, which must have been more comfortable than my lap even though she beat on it a bit and frowned at the way it felt against her head. She laid down into her bed at last and I helped her pull the covers up over her body. She looked at me until I let go of her hand, and it seemed like she was waiting for something from me. I noticed then how very small she seemed in that big bed of hers, all wrapped up tight.
I leaned over her quietly, pressing my lips against her forehead gently and slowly. She gratefully accepted the gesture and closed her eyes for the duration of it. Pulling away at last, I backed up off her bed and made certain she had everything she may need, before standing straight and heading for the door. I touched the light switch and the brightness disappeared, but still, in that blind darkness I turned back to see her nearly invisible silhouette. With a small smile, I turned to leave, but was stopped halfway out the door.
“Hey, Applejack?” Rainbow Dash spoke to me without moving, and I looked back once more, “Would you mind, um, would you mind going to say goodnight to the kid for me?”
It was a rather big favour to ask, I imagine. She would trust me with the habitual evening visit to her younger sister, to the girl who had meant so much to her. Whether either of us believed anything about ghosts or spirits, it didn't really matter. I did not hesitate though, and nodded into the darkness.
“O'course, honey.” I agreed as I stepped out of her room, reaching back to grab the door knob and pulling it mostly shut, “G'night, Rainbow.”
“Night, Applejack.” Her little rough and raspy voice responded as she let me leave.
I stepped out of her room and leaned against the wall just outside, where she could not see me. I put my hand to my face and closed my eyes, consumed and controlled by all that just happened. It was so overwhelming, all of it, that I wanted to just fall down to my knees right there. But I had made a promise, and so I pushed off the wall and continued towards the desolate room a mere few feet from her own.
I twisted the door knob the same way Rainbow had the night before, gently and slowly as to not wake her as if she herself was sleeping, all tucked up in the covers. I went in, and though it was dim, I realized then that Scootaloo's drapes had been left open, and the lights from the stars still shone in. I stepped onto her cold carpet, feeling it stick up between my toes in the curly, synthetic rounds. The messiness and lived-in feel reminded me of my own sister's room, half-finished projects lying strew with toys and loved objects.
“Heya, Scootaloo.” My voice breached the silence, and I winced as it sounded forced or weird, like I was not doing it right, “Your, uh, your sister, she's mighty tired is all. Else she'd be here herself. Any who,” I touched the corner of her bed but pulled away suddenly, feeling like I was intruding, “Ah just came in to say goodnight. Ah won't stay long, Ah just—”
I stopped suddenly as I noticed the picture that sat on her night stand. I moved over to it and reached for her lamp, clicking it on and illuminating the figures that were contained within the thin, wooden frame. It was in my hands now, and my thumbs ran over the image softly. It was the both of them, Rainbow Dash and her sister. Rainbow was still all dressed up in her soccer uniform, and she was flexing her arms up and winking, that same old confidence she used to be known for. Hanging off one of her strong arms was that little sister of hers, trying to make the same pose despite her small form and lack of definition.
I placed the picture back where it belonged, the young girl suspended in time while her sister, just one door over, drowned herself for the end of that past. I looked over to that desk that Rainbow Dash had leaned over the night before and fondled so admiringly. I moved over to it and looked at the pictures she had pushed across the wood, those worn, dull-tipped pencils tossed crooked between the pages. I moved one picture, the one Rainbow herself had moved when we stood there last, and I looked at what she herself had seen.
It was right there, half-finished but remarkably realistic. The colours were bright and surreal, the composition accurate and the position true. I lifted it out from under the other picture that lay atop it and the notebook which pinned but a corner. I held it out before me, the lines drifting a bit as the light source blew through the thin paper and altered it. There in my hands, was Rainbow Dash, grinning and laughing and bright-headed, and on her arm? It was me. This little girl had been working on a composition, a work of her sister and myself.
I realized it then: why hadn't Scootaloo said anything of curiosity in Rainbow Dash's recollection of the accident? It was clear, she did not have to ask. She already knew the truth, she did not care what I was to Rainbow Dash; in her eyes, I was on her arm one way or another. It didn't matter to her why. Besides, Rainbow Dash had been her sister's hero, there was nothing anyone could say that could ruin that.
I slipped the picture back where I had found it, though those smiling, carefree expressions were burned into my head, half-coloured and all. I reached over and shut off the lamp, backing out of the room slowly. I closed the door up behind me and leaned against it, letting the sights and smells and thoughts eat away at me for another moment longer. I had to get Rainbow Dash out of this house, she was living in a dream, a toxic, haunting dream. It was not good for her to watch the word decay around her, to decay herself.
Author's Notes:
So, here's Saturday. Probably my favourite chapter, and clearly the most revealing.
Sunday
***
III. Sunday
The late morning sun was hot on my skin, soaking into the thick fabric of my shirt even though I rolled the sleeves up to my elbows. I had not waited for Rainbow Dash to wake up before I went outside, though I left through the back door since I thought that crooked, leaning chair under the front door knob was too important to move out of the way. I had found this old, rusted machine in her garage, and it was clear that it had not been used in well over a year.
The grass smelled so crisp and lovely to me, and the deeper into the lawn I mowed the richer and more green it grew. I stepped into the freshly cut grass, my boots pressing indentations into it which unfurled slowly as the normally out-grown, shorter blades met the sunlight. I pushed the mower roughly through the grass, feeling it catch on thicker bits here and there and choke on moss and twigs. It had taken an hour or two to get so far that I was in the front yard, cleaning up the mess that time and suffering had done to this once beautiful house.
I had already been around the windows and cleared out the cobwebs, and had even trimmed some of the dead branches in that charming oak tree. I was well past due for a break, but that was not something I took until the work was done and done well. It was relaxing to me anyway, a morning with purpose and duty.
It was so hot out under that blazing sun, though I was no stranger to working out in the heat. The only shade I received was the small shadow of my Stetson over my face and when I ducked under the low hanging branches. I could feel my body sweating beneath the folds of fabric that clung to me, and yearned to have been watering plants instead so that I might take a drink or a quick rinse. I reached down and undid most of the lower buttons of my blouse, pulling it untucked and tying it tight right below my breasts. The breeze on my heating skin was so satisfying, like a cool mist or an icy drink.
I pushed the old lawn mower through the tall grass of the front lawn, hearing it growl and desperately chew on the blades, clearly exhausted after being left unused for so long. I looked back at the work I had already done and caught a glimpse of her in the kitchen window. It was hard to see in at first, the house being so dark and the sun catching and bouncing off the now clean glass, but I saw her.
It was Rainbow Dash, and she was just sitting there, resting her head on her hand and staring out at me, watching me. I paused in pushing the mower to stand up straighter, leaning one arm on the bar grips as I wiped the sweat from my forehead. I raised my other hand, clothed with my own work gloves I always took around in the truck for when I needed them, and waved a hearty good morning to her.
Though she blinked blindly at me for a few seconds, she seemed to wake up and see my actions through the glass. A small smile spread across her features as she noticed me, and she weakly raised her own hand, not bothering to shake it around. It was nice, to see her smile at me again.
I continued to clear the lawn for her, stepping forward and using all my strength to force the mower to move again. I felt the long blades of grass get all cut up under my hands and spray about, hitting my pant legs or blowing about in the gentle breeze around my feet. I watched it clump up in cut up corpses over the young and fresh half-bodies of the remaining blades, and it did seem a mite sickening. But it would dry, and the wind would take it away.
As I finished up with the mowing, I had another look around the yard, knowing my work was not nearly done. I still had to climb up and clear out the gutters, finish pruning the trees and bushes, fix the fence that was falling apart, and scrub up the patio in the back. Still, I could feel my body weakening as I became dehydrated, my breaths heavy and dry.
I went around the house again, carrying the mower back there with me, and found my way to the back door. It lead to a small hall just behind the kitchen, where I knocked the dirt off my boots and removed my gloves one by one while I came inside. The air was much cooler in there, and I lifted my hat up and brushed my bangs back to feel the air on my face. As I entered the kitchen, coming around between the counter and the pantry, I noticed Rainbow Dash still in there, pouring something into a glass from a jug.
“Right on time,” She said without looking back, as I finished pulling off my work gloves and held them in one hand.
“Ah am? For what?” I asked as I walked up to her and tried to peek over her shoulder, but she turned around abruptly and held something out in front of me.
“It's lemonade,” Rainbow said as my eyes trailed down her arm to find it extended to me, the bright, pale yellow colour looking more than refreshing to my parched lips, “I made it for you.”
“Shucks, Rainbow, y'didn't hafta do that,” I smiled as I gratefully accepted the glass, and could feel just how cool it was in my hands, the ice pressing against the edges and drawing forth condensation, “But thank you, that's mighty kind of you.”
“Don't mention it.” Rainbow Dash shrugged as she took a second glass from beside the jug, clinking it with mine before she began to swallow the translucent liquid.
I was so eager to taste it, I brought it right up to my lips and took several huge gulps, swallowing the sour but sweet liquid and feeling it cool my stomach as it slid down my throat. A drop or two slipped over my lips as I drank so fast, but I did not mind it one bit. What I did mind, however, was the odd after-taste it left on my tongue. I took the last sip and held it in my mouth for a moment before swallowing it, realizing then what was so funny about it.
“Hey, this is spiked.” I told her flatly, and she just smiled like it was no big deal.
“Well yeah, it's just boring old lemonade otherwise.” Rainbow Dash stepped forward, standing right close in front of me as she reached up and wiped my still wet lips with the back of her hand. She snickered a bit, “Of course, watching you spill it everywhere was fun enough.”
“Shut it.” I reached over with a chuckle and messed up her hair—which I had just now realized had actually been brushed for once—bringing an irritable pout to her face.
“So, tell me something,” She asked, fixing her hair while I poured myself another glass of that toxic lemonade, desiring the refreshing taste whether it knocked me for a loop or not, “Why exactly are you outside, mowing the lawn?”
“Rainbow, the atmosphere in this place is keepin' y'down, livin' in a mess like this ain't helpin' you to a good health.” I told her as I took another cool sip, licking my own lips.
“Whatever you say.” She didn't seem to believe me, but that didn't keep her from asking, “Do you, do you need any help?”
“Nah,” I told her simply as I put the glass down, and walked past her, patting her shoulder lightly, “Y'just go 'head and rest, 'kay?”
“What if I don't want to?” She bickered as she took to following me to the back door, chasing me right at my heels.
“Trust me honey, y'ain't the type to much like yard work,” I reminded her with a light laugh as I made it to the door, though she took it as something of an insult.
“Hey! I'll have you know—” Rainbow stopped speaking and flinched as I suddenly turned around and closed the screen door in front of her, holding it that way.
“Don't make me get a chair for this door, too.” I smiled as I noticed her irritable expression settle in deep.
“Well, then can you at least, like,” She shuffled there in the doorway as I released my hold, wondering what had her uncomfortable to say, “Hurry up? I mean, maybe I want to spend time with you, you know, before you go back to your regular life and stuff.”
“Ah promise, we'll have plenty o' time together.” I vowed as I pressed my fist up against the screen, balling it up and leaning my knuckles onto it.
“Don't you lie to me, A.J.” She warned as she balled up her own fist and pressed it against mine, though I felt more of the screen than I did the warmth of her skin.
“Never.” I winked playfully and turned away, tucking my work gloves into my rear pocket as I went back over to the shed to see what her father had in the way of tools.
I decided it might be best not to climb up onto the roof after drinking that hard lemonade, so I left that chore for another day. Despite the hissing sun and the tedious workload, I was not the kind of girl who quit so easily. I was able to get around to pruning some more of the bushes around the yard, and pulled up handfuls of weeds from all over the lawn and house.
I found myself kneeling on her front steps cleaning out the moss from between the cracks a mere hour or two later, and by then I was more than glad to get back inside. I swept up the debris and dirt from the walkway that I had scraped up and finished watering the plants—taking a quick wash under the hose—before I was able to pry my boots off. I left the dirty things on the mat just inside the back door as I went inside, and even though I had worn my gloves nearly the whole time, dirt still found its way onto my fingers. I was in the middle of washing them up when Rainbow Dash found me again.
“I almost thought you were going to spend all day out there,” Rainbow whined as she came up beside me and leaned back against the counter. She stuck her bottom lip out while I splashed some water on my face, and I could almost feel her gaze trailing me and my still damp clothing from when I had turned the hose on myself for a spell, “I can't imagine how much time you've wasted at work on your farm.”
“It's a lifestyle, for sure.” I said as I tried to scrub around my nails, but the water stopped running over my hands as Rainbow Dash reached out and twisted the knob off.
“All work and no play, Applejack,” She smirked as she got near to me, and I felt my already sun-heated face grow warmer, “That can't help you to a good health, either.”
“That's what Ah got you for, ain't it?” I replied as I dried my hands on some paper towel, tipping my head back so my hat wouldn't block the lights above me from catching on any wetness or dirt I missed, “T'keep me young.”
“Applejack, you are young.” She reminded my flatly as she linked her arm with mine, tugging me backwards and towing me into the living room. “I think it's time I reminded you of that.”
“Oh?” I wondered as I raised one eyebrow, letting her lead me over to the couch and sit me down.
She went over by the television and knelt down, opening the little magnetic doors of the cabinet underneath. While she was busy, I reached down and undid the bottom of my tied shirt, doing up the buttons the right way again and ignoring the new wrinkles. Even while my hands were busy, I found it somewhat difficult to avert my gaze as she leaned over, I really wanted to see what she was doing, but even more, I wanted to watch her do it. It was a terrible thought, and I think it had something to do with that tricky lemonade she had got me to drink. Rainbow Dash bent down further as she reached into the cabinet, and I fiddled with my fingers as to not stare.
She sat back at last and pulled a couple objects out from under the television stand. Reaching up, she changed the input of the television and shifted through the settings a bit. I heard some electronic opening noise and heard her popping open some case, removing a disk from it. Finally she shuffled back and got to her feet, scurrying over to me excitedly as the television responded to whatever she had given it.
“What're we—?” I started, but she dropped some old, dusty controller right into my lap and plopped down onto the couch beside me, “Oh good lord.”
“That's right!” Her grin grew until it was strung up from ear to ear, “You and me Applejack, one on one!”
“Can't we just play a co-operative game for once? Y'always get s'darn angry when I whoop your sorry rear.” I reminded her with the beginnings of a smug smirk, remembering how these types of competitions usually played out.
“Who says you're going to win? If I remember correctly, we were pretty even in skill.” She argued as she set it up into versus mode, and I remembered the familiar noises and screens as they played out before us.
“Ah think all that vodka has warped your mind, sugar cube.” I joked as I leaned against her, nudging her a bit.
“We shall see,” Her eyes narrowed at me as she selected a character from the list, and I rolled my eyes with a laugh.
We had played a lot of video games when we were younger. She used to have the console and a small television up in her room, and she just loved fighting and racing games. I liked them too of course, but Rainbow Dash was especially interested in them, she didn't have much else to do at home or over the summer when there were few sports teams to join. I mean, we would go swimming and hang out with our friends and stuff, but Rainbow Dash always brought me home after for a few rounds of her favourite fighting games. None of our other friends cared much for that kinda thing, so no one else ever came to hang out. It was for the best though, those years were when we became best friends.
We played three different fighting and racing games that lazy Sunday, and every time we would be rather evenly matched, until she started getting cocky or angry. Then, I would take the lead. If I didn't win, she would stand up on the couch and cheer, hooting at me about it, or she'd take another drink. Either way, I did my best to assure I won instead.
While she was grinding her teeth and sitting on the edge of her seat, I was leaning back casually as I fought opposite her in a fighting game. I glanced over at her now and again, and found myself smiling. She sure was kind of cute when she was all frustrated and determined. A great big grin crossed her face and I shifted my eyes back to the screen, noticing the way it froze for a moment as she smashed the buttons for an ultimate move.
“Oh yeah, here we go, get ready to—!” Rainbow hollered loudly, but I cut her off as I manoeuvred my own fingers on the controller.
“Ah'm sorry, you were sayin'?” I smirked as she grabbed her bottle to take a victory drink, but jerked when she saw me avoid the move and finish a final combo, winning the match in a matter of seconds.
“Damn it! Why did that miss? I totally had you!” She shook the bottle around as the screen displayed my character as victorious, which only served to spill it all over her lap as she shouted in irritation. She jumped up as the liquid seeped into her clothing. “Oh for the love of— ugh. Applejack, I hate you.”
“Y'get s'worked up, y'make it too easy.” I told her as she put the bottle down, and I reached over to grab the blanket I had folded up over the arm of the couch after sleeping last night, dabbing it over her lap, “Here, lemme help.”
Rainbow Dash went uncharacteristically red as I began to rub the quilt over her lap, and I could tell from her contorted and scrunched up expression that she was holding her tongue. I didn't really mind cleaning her up, I mean we were best friends, I had been closer to her than this. I dabbed and dabbed closer up her thigh, and could feel her shuffling around under the attention, but I found it too funny and adorable to stop. Her eyes suddenly found mine, though I was busy scrubbing and trying to dry the fresh stains to return the gaze.
“Do you remember how mad my dad would get when we would stay up all night playing games?” Rainbow Dash asked suddenly, and I smiled as I recalled just such evenings as those, “He'd come and knock on my door like twenty times to tell us to be quiet.”
“Y'never listened no matter how many times he knocked.” I reminded her coolly as I pressed hard on her lap, holding the fabrics together to keep our skin apart.
“I know,” She laughed lightly as she moved against me, slinging her arms over the back of the couch as she willingly let me work on her, “He had to threaten me to make us go to bed. But even then, we were never quiet.”
“You kept me up all night talkin' my ear off.” I chuckled, though I enjoyed every conversation we ever posed and communicated through the darkness.
“Hey,” She sounded kind of hurt, so I looked up at her to gauge her expression, which was somewhat concerned or uncertain, “I loved those nights.”
“Ah never said that Ah didn't.” I smiled and agreed with her, pulling the now damp quilt off of her legs, looking at the damage, “This ain't dryn' up too good.”
“Whatever, they're just pants.” Rainbow Dash stood up suddenly and began to pull her pants down, right there in front of me.
I had seen her in her underwear plenty, and she was even in such a state when I first arrived that weekend, but her getting undressed in front of me was still unnerving. I watched the clothes fall in folds on the floor around her bare feet, which she then stepped out of. She sat down beside me again as I fumbled the quilt in my hands, putting it back over the arm of the couch even though it was dirty and damp now.
She didn't start a new game right away like usual. Instead, she leaned forwards and took a drink from the still moist bottle, though it was small and more habitual than it was necessary. She stopped herself as she was in the middle of it though, fighting the urges off as best she could. My eyes trailed down her body as I noticed the abnormality in her skin, the darker, pinker streak that trailed down her outer thigh. I had seen it before, but it hurt me to look at every time. She seemed to notice my stare and leaned over a bit, looking at it herself.
“Does it bother you?” Rainbow Dash asked curiously, and really it was no place of mine to say, it was a scar of hers and from something no one could have prevented.
“Uh, no, it just—” I couldn't lie to her though, “A little.”
“Yeah, me too.” She smiled sadly as she reached down and ran a finger along it, lifting the hem of her panties up to show me the extent of it.
It was a long, thin run of wounded skin, which had healed up quite some time ago I imagine. Now all that remained was that scar, that scar that was shaped something like a lightning bolt that ran up her thigh. If she had received it under any other circumstance, perhaps she might have been proud of the mark. But all that this particular scar held for her was memories of jagged metal, broken glass, and death. I could see the way the skin changed smoothness, colour, and shape over the mark, and I wondered what it might feel like on my hand.
“It's funny, well, in a sad way, I guess,” Rainbow Dash started as her expression hardened on the spot, her finger running along the length from bottom to top, teasingly trailing so high, “It was a terrible accident, and yet here I am, and I came out of it with just a damn scratch. And the others...”
“Ah think y'came out with a little more than a scratch, sugar cube.” I told her, and I honestly believed that. She was much more broken up than she seemed to realize.
“All the doctors kept telling me how lucky I was, well I didn't feel so lucky after all.” She leaned back into the couch and slung her arms around the back, looking up at the roof. “It all feels like a sick joke, really.”
“How's that?” I asked as I leaned my shoulder against the couch, facing her while we spoke.
“Well, like I said, it was an awful crash, like, newsworthy wreckage and everything.” Rainbow Dash snorted as she thought of such a thing, but she went on, “We get hit by this truck or something, and it sends us off in some direction or another, dad hits the brakes and slides off the side of the road. Next thing I know, we're down at the bottom of this hillside, the car has rolled over like three times and it's just crushed, it's totalled, it's gone. Mom's passed out or dead in the front seat, and dad, well he wasn't wearing a seatbelt, see, so he was thrown right out of the vehicle.”
“You remember that?” I asked as I cringed a bit, it must not have been a very good memory.
“Yeah, I mean it's fuzzy and dark and my ears were ringing, but I remember it pretty well. So I sit up a bit in my seat, and I see my little sister all—all like, like not sitting right. So I grab her and I start, like, pulling her out of the car, but I don't even realize she's already,” Rainbow Dash had to stop herself as that same old crying frown tried to force its way out, “I put her down on the ground and call to her, shake her and stuff, but she's so light, you know? Like, like a stuffed animal or something, her head just rolling from side to side from my hysterical shaking.”
“Ah'm sorry.” I hung my head a bit as the images came to my mind, imagining just how hard that would have been to stomach.
“That's how this happened, you know,” She gestured down at her thigh, at that lighting-bolt-like scar, “I had to crawl through the door, but see it was all bent out of shape, all sharp and jagged, and I had the kid in my arms. Doctor said I almost, like, hit an artery or something, and again, he said that I was lucky.”
“Y'nearly got yourself killed tryn'a save your sister, Ah think that's really somethin'.” I said as I stared at her, waiting if anything more would come from her.
“I was useless, though. I mean, I was there screaming over her body, and no one could hear me from the highway up the hill. And since I went and cut myself up, I couldn't even walk. So I just start crawling up the side of the hill, all pathetic and shouting, just crawling over the shards and debris that's left scattered up the hill from the accident. I dig my hands through the grass and the dirt trying to get a grip to pull myself up, but I'm really no good.” She looked at her hands for a moment, “By the time somebody did notice, it was too late for all of them.”
“Not for you,” I reminded her gently, “And your dad, he was still alive for a while.”
“Yeah, I saw him once in the hospital before he died.” Rainbow Dash said, but she did not seem pleased about the encounter at all.
“Ah know, Ah was right there with you in the hospital, remember?” I moved a little closer, and she glanced at me somewhat questioningly.
“Yeah, but now that you mention it, I still don't know how you got there. Who told you what happened, anyway? How did you know?” She asked curiously as she tilted her head a bit towards me.
“Y'didn't have any other family, Rainbow. There was no one for the doctors to call, no one to take you home or sit by you or nothin'.” I told her, though I thought she must have already known, “That is, 'til your dad gave the doctors my name.”
“What?” She seemed genuinely surprised to hear that, and she blinked at me.
“Ah got a call in the middle of the night sayin' somethin' had happened to you. Don't you remember? Ah showed up in my pyjamas, Ah didn't even bother getting' changed or nothin'.” I let her see a sad smile as I told her, “You were still asleep when Ah arrived.”
I leaned back again and remembered the scene, remembered sprinting through the hospital and asking every doctor, nurse or janitor where she was. Finally, I found my way, and there she was, all wrapped up in white like those utensils in a fancy restaurant I never knew quite what to do with.
I was desperately out of breath, leaning against the door as I saw the heart rate monitor, and it was still beeping on and on. Rainbow Dash was fast asleep, even with all those machines going off around her and those tubes and fabrics folding over her. I picked my Stetson up off my head and held it over my chest compassionately. It was the most relieving moment of my life, but it did not last.
“Excuse me,” A doctor came up behind me, and I turned to look at him even though my face was all red and I was all sweaty and scared, “Who are you?”
“Ah'm Applejack. Rainbow, she's my, she's my,” I couldn't even think of a good enough word at the time, but he seemed to understand well enough anyway.
“Did you know the rest of the family?” He asked me, and I didn't know why he would ask such a thing. They should have told him themselves.
“Yeah, where are they?” I inquired, but his lengthy sigh and hesitance told me already what had happened.
“Her father is still hanging on, but we are not hopeful.” Was all he told me, and it was not enough, I could feel my hands shaking profusely as I gathered her mother and sister were nothing left to speak of, “Yours was the name he provided us as Rainbow Dash's emergency contact. He told me that she has no other family, is that true?”
“Uh, no, she ain't got,” I bit back a whimper as I realized it fully, “She ain't got no one else.”
“She's got you.” His eyes were on me, and his words were golden. He looked down at his clipboard again as though he was faking being busy, but he spoke again, “Her injuries were minor, a few cuts and scrapes and a bump on the head. She's a very lucky young lady.”
“She ain't much gonna like hearin' that.” I murmured as I leaned against the door frame, adoringly looking over at her.
“You're welcome to stay with her,” He told me as he gestured to an open chair by her bedside, which looked so very comfortable despite the fact it was the cheapest, crappiest chair I could have imagined, “She hasn't woken up yet, I don't know if she will remember everything about the accident.”
“Thank you, doctor.” I nodded and gave him a weak smile, and he didn't ask for anything more.
I went over immediately, not deterred for a second by the fear of what she might look like. I sat down in that chair and pulled it up closer, inspecting her up and down like I would understand any of it. She was bandaged up, but there was still some dried blood and dirt hanging around. I knew something was wrong by the way they had folded up her arm to keep it from resting against her leg. Still, I sat there, looking right up at her restless expression.
I wondered if she was cold, or what she might be dreaming about. I didn't know much if people dreamed in those kind of states anyway, but I still wondered. I found myself reaching out and taking her hand, though it felt rough and small in my own. We were always very close friends, but something like holding hands seemed like a new thing for us. It felt right though.
I noticed her hand move against mine, and her body stirred as it did. I sat up fully and watched her grumble something as her eyes opened, though they were so very tired and still half lidded. There was a small, weak smile that broke out as her eyes settled on me, and she placed her other hand atop the one that I already placed on hers.
“Heya, there's a sight for sore eyes.” She spoke in a raspy voice, hoarse from lack of use or perhaps from overuse, “Why am I—?” As if the world had slapped her, she became solemn again and pulled away.
“Rainbow, how do y'feel?” I asked carefully, trying to ease her into the situation she already seemed to plummet head-first into.
“Like I was hit by a truck, A.J.” It was some attempt at humour, but she did not seem totally invested in it, “Where's Scootaloo? And, and my parents?”
“Do you remember the crash, honey?” I spoke so gently it was almost a whisper, but she did not snap at me about it, she just looked disappointed.
“Yeah, yeah I do,” She affirmed with a slow exhale, and her eyes caressed mine despite the horribly abrasive and distant words, “They're dead, aren't they?”
It physically hurt me to hear her say that, especially since she just sort of got all stoic about it. From my reluctant reaction, she gathered that it was true. With a simple accepting nod, she looked down at her feet at the end of the bed, and her expression settled calmly. I had expected her to get angry, to shout or something, but she just sat there uncharacteristically despondent.
“Your dad, he's alive,” I tried to tell her, but it did not seem like good news to her ears, “But the doctors say he ain't gonna last long. Y'should see him.”
“Maybe.” Rainbow Dash replied expressionlessly, her body for once completely still. Her eyes gradually found their way to our hands, which were still together on the bed, “Applejack?”
“Yeah?” I piped up as I watched her with concerned eyes.
“Could I have a moment alone?” She asked in a hush, and something was so very unsettling about her expression I contemplated denying the request.
“O'course, sugar cube.” I stood up, feeling the hold of our hands shifting as I changed positions. I stroked her with my thumb once over her knuckles, and I could see then how dirty her hands still were, bloodied and beaten with dirt around her nails. “Ah'll be around if y'need me.”
“Yeah, and now I can never seem to get rid of you.” Rainbow Dash shook her head with a sad smile. I looked at my own hands then, and this time they were the ones dirtied.
“Nnope.” I dragged the word out in a low voice, causing us both to crack real smiles.
“I did take your advice though, I went to see him.” She told me, and I had never really known for sure about that. “A nurse wheels me in, I couldn't walk well with the stitches in my leg, you see. Anyway, I get in there, and he's awake. He can speak and everything, that's what they told me.”
“What'd he say?” I asked curiously, but she scrunched up her face a bit.
“Nothing, he never said anything.” Rainbow spoke in an emotionless tone, “He just sort of turned and stared at me, with that frown that led his wrinkles down to his chin, with those judgemental and blaming eyes. Like it was my fault. Like it was all my fault.”
“Y'know it wasn't.” I said sternly as I stared at her, hoping she knew that.
“Who knows,” She leaned back and scoffed, “He was drinking, sure, but I was provoking him. Neither of us were entirely innocent. Still, there I was at his freaking bedside, and he didn't have one good thing to leave me with.”
“Maybe he just didn't know what to say.” I proposed, and though it seemed she wanted to believe it, she couldn't, “He ain't the kind to apologize neither.”
“That's for sure.” Rainbow huffed a laugh and nodded. “I bet he only gave the doctors your name as a cruel joke, just to screw with me.”
“Y'can't know for sure.” I prodded, but she brushed the comment off as she let out a breath and leaned back against the couch fully.
“I know he was a tight-lipped old goat,” She spat, and the words sounded kind of funny to hear, “But he could have at least tried, is all. I mean, I'm not much better with feelings and crap, but I try.”
Her eyes slid closed as her arms folded up behind her head. For a moment or so she said nothing, she just breathed out slowly and rested there by my side. Something was definitely on her mind, I could tell. She opened her eyes slowly and she looked at me, with this serene and admiring gaze. She chewed on something in her head as she sized me up, but finally she opened her mouth and let it out.
“Can I, can I show you something, Applejack?” She wondered, and she tilted her head towards me on the cushion.
“Anythin'.” I nodded with certainty. All this sudden honesty was more than all right with me.
“Promise you won't laugh?” Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow but her expression seemed more nervous than usual, like this was something very dear to her.
“Ah would never laugh at you, Rainbow.” I told her, finding it almost insulting that she thought I would. I knew she was just not accustomed to feeling so vulnerable, if I were to laugh at her about it she would be crushed, and she had to protect herself from that.
Rainbow Dash sat up and looked at me, scanning my eyes for any inconsistency or lies. Finally, she seemed comfortable enough, and she reached out and grabbed my hand, jumping up, “Okay, come with me.”
She yanked me to my feet and dragged me after her towards the stairs once more. She didn't bother turning the television off, and to my surprise she didn't bother grabbing the barely-touched bottle of vodka she left on the coffee table. I smiled as I followed her, noticing that her steps for once were actually somewhat sober.
We rounded the corner at the top of the stairs still in a brisk jog, and she pulled me into her bedroom without hesitation. I noticed that it was actually a bit cleaner, like she had pushed the trash off the ground and moved some clothes around. To boot, her bed was actually somewhat made. She had this little yellow notepad sitting on the end of it, and she hurried over there to grab it before I could get a look. She went over to the far end of the bed and looked over at me, slapping the covers twice for me to hurry and sit down.
As I did what I was silently commanded, she pulled over a little wooden chair that had been shoved in the corner last I saw, which no longer held a mound of clothing or trash. She pulled it right up in front of me, so near our legs were almost touching. She squeezed her knees a bit and rubbed her legs a few times, which might have been because she was cold, leaving them bare like that, or because she was nervous. Before she said anything, she looked around on the ground for a replacement pair of pants, which she found by her closet in the form of a pair of blue shorts.
She sat back down in front of me as she finished pulling them on, and again, she just sort of bit her lip and fidgeted. I thought it was mighty cute of her to be all shy for once, but I didn't tell her that. Instead, I leaned forward to capture her eyes in my own, and gave her a supportive smile.
“Rainbow?” I said her name quietly and received her full attention, all of it forced out towards me in those bright pink eyes, “I ain't gonna force you t'do nothin', y'know.”
“That's not it,” She told me, and I noticed then that she was blushing a bit and holding back a larger grin than the smile she displayed, “I've just never really shown anyone this kind of thing, but I don't feel like I have to, it's like, I really, really want to. I want to show it, and I want to show it to you, only you.”
“Well then what's stoppin' you?” I returned her smile as I sat back up, patiently waiting for whatever it was.
“Nothing, you're right.” She resolved herself as she slapped her legs once lightly, turning around suddenly and pulling something out from behind the chair, which I hadn't really noticed leaning up against the dresser.
I blinked as I recognized the instrument, a familiar old thing in a big black case, which she readily popped open, “Your guitar? Ah thought you ain't even touched that thing in years.”
“I haven't really, but once in a while, I get a thought about something, and so I jot it down.” Rainbow said as she put the case down and let her fingers run over the nicely finished wood, “When I woke up today, I kinda felt, I don't know, motivated. I've been working on this, this song for a long time. And I finished it this morning. Just, just don't laugh, okay?”
“Ah won't.” I swore as I put my hand over my heart.
“It's still pretty rough,” She felt the need to defend herself or something, but the more she did the more my smile grew, “I'm not too good with rhymes and tunes and stuff, and it's not perfect or anything, but I just—”
“Rainbow,” I reached over and put my hand on her leg, stopping her mid sentence and snatching her attention in one move, “Just play. Ah wanna hear it.”
“Okay, okay. Um.” She pursed her lips as she checked the tuning of the strings, and she worked up the courage to get going, “Here goes.”
Rainbow Dash cleared her throat two or three times as she settled down, her breath shaky and anxious. Finally, her right hand moved at once and fell into a rhythm, the strumming clear and charming in her fingers. As her confidence grew, the chords rang out louder. She took a slow and uneasy breath, starting the words out quietly before she got used to the sound of her voice.
(This song can be listened to here: [http://youtu.be/dZhDNez8Kow]
Love or Epilogues [Lyrics by Ezrienel]
“It was a day like any day
when you were on my lips, but never saw,
Neither of us, when strike it may,
Be it something such as love or epilogues.
I don't have much left any more,
And this big house seems so empty
but it's stuffed up to shingles with silence
and memories I should forget to get me by.
And now those people I called friends,
Who used to think that I was strong,
Seem to have found that there's an end
and all those premises were wrong.
I don't know how to make this seem profound,
So I'll buy another bottle, baby,
When they stop coming around.
I listened, I half-listened,
When our parents would recite
that baby, kids cannot be kids forever,
But maybe they weren't right.
'Cause there will never be a photograph
of when she finds that thing she loves,
No not ever any picture for a book
of the faces left to speak of.
But faces come and go,
And sight seems fickle to the eyes
because we change before we see it
and those pictures seem like lies.
I can try to make this sound profound,
But I'll buy another bottle, baby,
When they're no longer around.
I was the fastest girl in school,
I thought it mattered to be cool
but I can run a million miles
before these poisons make me smile.
And I know that no one thinks of me
as someone who's got anything figured out
and surely there's some truth in that
'cause here I am just singing songs about the past.
But baby, someone's got their eyes on me,
Somebody's looking in,
And she is banging on my door
and taking the poison from my hands.
I'm hoping you might think that I'm profound,
Cause I can't buy another bottle, baby,
If you keep coming around.
No, I won't buy another bottle, baby,
If you keep coming around.”
I sat in silence for a moment, watching her head drop down bashfully. She ended the song abruptly, stopping the vibrating chords in her hand. She didn't look at me, she was too intent on looking at her bare toes digging into the rug at her feet. I could not stop smiling, my eyes and heart entirely drawn to her.
“Ah'm speechless.” I said at last, shaking my head in reverence as she checked my expression to figure it out, “Honey, that was incredible. Ah never knew you could write like that.”
“You're just saying that.” She murmured self-consciously, and I snapped back readily, determined to show her just how much I actually loved it.
“Ah ain't! Rainbow, that was, that was,” I searched for words but fell flat, staring into her brilliant eyes. I wished that I could show her more honestly and tellingly how she made me feel as she sang, but the only idea that came to my mind was to return that kiss she had lent me earlier. I couldn't tell you why that sort of thing was on my mind, but I settled for borrowing a word from her vocabulary instead, “Awesome.”
I moved forward and embraced her suddenly, holding her firmly against me as I pressed my face into the crook of her neck. At first, she didn't seem to know how to respond, but as I held on longer she returned the hug. The guitar shifted between us a bit, but I didn't mind. I felt her rub against me and I hummed lightly, enjoying the contact with my best friend. We pulled away simultaneously and our eyes met in the middle, crooked smiles mirroring each other just the same.
“I really missed hanging out with you, A.J.” Rainbow Dash told me then, and it felt good to hear.
“Ah missed you too, y'crazy-haired loon.” I told her as I tugged at a little tuft of blue hair, “But you'll hafta miss me a spell longer, Ah would just love a hot shower right about now.”
“As long as you don't drag me in there with you.” She joked as she took her guitar off of her shoulder and tucked it away into the case. I chuckled as I left her in her room for a mere few minutes, looking back once over my shoulder to catch her watching me leave.
I hadn't bothered to lock the door, Rainbow knew I was in there so she would not accidentally walk in or anything. I was standing beneath the water, which from the shower head poured out with much stronger pressure than the one in the farm house provided. I closed my eyes as I dipped right underneath it, feeling it run over my skin and cleanse me of any dirt, labour, or impure thoughts. I rubbed my hands together, the feeling of my own fingers seeming dull or boring to me. The crashing, spraying water was loud against the white tub at my feet, the same tub that I had filled up and splashed a reluctant Rainbow Dash into a mere two days ago.
I slipped my wet fingers through my hair, splicing it against my scalp and creating rivers between the crown of my head and my neck. I ran my hands down my body, feeling the warm water splitting between them and running in streams, dripping off my elbows and chin. My skin was flushed due to the heat, I'm sure, but it felt so very comfortable anyway.
Inch by inch my hands slipped down my body, and I scrunched up my face in wonder as I realized just how much I enjoyed it. I felt a smile twitch onto my face under the slipping droplets of water, rerouting them around my cheeks and dimples as they formed. My stomach quivered as my fingers almost tickled the sensitive muscles, and right before my closed eyes there was a face, and on my lips was a name.
I jerked back to reality suddenly as I realized just what I was imagining, and knew there was something terribly wrong. Whether it was her sneaky lemonade, her partial nudity, her confiding in me or what, something had driven her into the confines of my mind that were better left alone. Curse her and her lack of boundaries and her darn charm. I fumbled and grasped at the knobs for the water and frantically turned off the hot first, hissing and wincing as the cold ran over my once enticed form.
After letting the cool water run on for longer than I had planned, I finally turned it off, standing there shivering in that shower, dripping wet from head to toe. I breathed a hot huff of air to attempt to release the heat from inside of me, but I doubt it worked. I knocked my loose hair over my shoulder, squeezing it through once or twice absently as I tasted the clean water that still hung over my lips.
I wiped the water off of most of my body before I went to grab the towel, which I had folded up and left right beside the shower, but my hand found only vacant air. I blinked in surprise but searched again, still coming up empty. Now, I was no moron, I knew exactly where it had gone. I bunched up the shower curtain and wrapped it a bit around myself as I leaned out of the shower against the tiles on the wall. There she was, standing there with a sheepish grin on her face, clutching my towel to her chest.
“Rainbow!” I barked at her, and she nearly fell over in shock as my shout echoed in the small room, “What, exactly, are y'doin?”
“Uh, standing guard?” She tested the waters, but I was in no mood for her little games.
“Gimme m'towel already, would you? This ain't as funny as y'think it is.” I tried to reach out and grab it, but she pulled it away and I could not follow without losing my hold on the shower curtain gown I had adorned.
“On one condition,” Rainbow started, and I paused in my feeble attempts to snatch it from her to listen to her deal, “See, I went downstairs to get myself a drink.”
“Lemme guess, it ain't water y'drank?” I raised my eyebrow and picked at her, though she did not seem to mind the snide swipe.
“Well, no, but that's not the point.” She shrugged it off and stepped a little closer, teasing me with her nearness to my grasp. She played around with the towel and her words, coming up with a way to say it, “See, I realized that my, uh, drink, had been spilled all over your blanket, remember? So, I have an alternative proposition.”
“And what might that be?” I asked blankly as I stared at her, noticing the way she shifted about.
Rainbow Dash held back her initial smile by biting her lip, but her eyes flickered up to mine and her words were unusually soft and provocative, “Sleep with me.”
“Now—what?!” This time I was the one who nearly fell over, almost losing my grip and slipping on the tub at my feet as I heard such a request.
“Relax, I didn't mean anything more than innocent, scout's honour,” She argued slyly as she extended her index and middle finger and waved it once, “It would just be nice to, you know, fall asleep next to somebody for once. We were talking about those night when you'd sleep over, and, I don't know, I miss that.”
“Ah don't remember sleeping much those nights.” I murmured as I recalled something more like bickering.
“Oh, and I'm the perverted one?” Rainbow smirked, and I blushed as I hurriedly tried to tell her that was not what I meant. She just laughed and brushed it off, “I'm kidding! Just, well, what do you say?”
I chuckled a bit as my eyes found her nervously wiggling bare toes, before I looked back up to her impatient, anxious expression. I leaned a bit more on the curtain and swung out towards her, keeping my tone sultry and smooth, “If you give me m'towel back, Ah'd kiss you.”
“Well, that can be arrang—” She stepped forwards nice and close to me with this devious grin on her face, which was dashed as I snatched the towel back. “Hey!”
“For an athlete you're a mite slow on the reflexes, honey,” I told her as I tucked the towel under my arm before reaching back out, poking her on the nose and giving her a playful wink, “But thanks for the offer.”
She grumbled something as I swung back behind the curtains, proceeding to dry myself off bit by bit. I huffed a few more laughs at her grumpiness as she left the bathroom. I thought about her proposal all the while as I wrapped the towel around myself and pulled the curtains open, finding the tile floor cool on my pinkish feet.
The bathroom mirror was steamed up, and I wiped it once with my hand to get a view of my face. Of course, the hand print I smeared across was faulty, oblong and awkwardly shaped by my fingers, and steamed back up slowly as I brushed my hair back over my shoulder. Luckily for me, Rainbow had not thought to steal my clothes to use as a bargaining chip for something else mildly scandalous.
Not that I found her proposal unpleasant by any means, in fact I actually thought it would be nice. When all the lights are off, people talk about stuff they don't normally say when faces and expressions can be seen. That's what I had found with Rainbow, anyway. Besides, it's not like it would actually mean anything to sleep beside each other now just because we're older, right? Like she said, it was completely innocent, we had slept side by side a hundred times before.
I slipped my clothes back on over my slightly damp body, hating the way the fabric stuck to my skin and gave me trouble. I squeezed the towel around my hair numerous times until I was satisfied enough with the dryness to let it fall over my blouse. I adjusted the wrinkled collar a bit and finished doing up my belt before I went over to the bathroom door and opened it.
I stepped one foot back as she tumbled backwards onto the floor at my feet, her shoulders landing over my front-most foot. I stared down at her dully as her wide eyes blinked a couple of times, her body laying half on the hallway hardwood and half on the bathroom tile. Clearly, she had been sitting outside the door waiting, and had fallen in as I removed her back support by opening the door. I smirked a crooked smile and crossed one ankle behind the other, placing my hands on my hips as I peered down at her.
“Do Ah even wanna know?” I asked rhetorically, and she just forced a little laugh while my eyes found the vodka bottle next to the door frame which had likely accounted for her clumsiness, “Ah said it before, an' Ah'munna say it again: you're crazy.”
“You love me anyway.” She flashed me a cheeky smile as she hoisted herself back up, wobbling a bit as she snatched up the bottle and twisted the lid on tighter.
“And why're you still carryin' this around?” I plucked it from her hands, but for once received no protest or recount of rules from her, “Y'don't need this stuff.”
“I know, Applejack, it's complicated.” She tried to explain as she went right towards her bedroom, hoping the conversation would drive me after her, “Who's to say what we really need and don't need, right?”
“Ah suppose.” I murmured as I did as she wanted, escorting her and her toxic friend into her room.
“So, when are you leaving, anyway?” Rainbow Dash asked as she nodded me into her room before she closed the door behind me.
“Dawn, actually. What, y'want me gone already?” I inquired jokingly, and she gave me an irritable or pouting look.
“That's not it, Applejack,” She told me as she went back over to her bed, taking the bottle from my hand and placing it on her night stand before reaching over and flicking on her lamp, “I just know you have school and stuff, the weekend is almost over.”
“You'd have school too if y'didn't quit after high school.” I reminded her, after all, she would have had an easy time getting a scholarship in sports, if she had cared.
“You're lucky I stuck all the way through high school,” She shook the bottle at me as she dared a small sip and a cock of her head, “I only did that to hang out with you guys, anyway.”
“If Ah recall right, y'skipped most of it any who.” I smiled as she gestured for me to turn off the overhead light, which I did, leaving us only in the dim lamp's glow.
“Well, not all of us are so motivated to keep their lives together.” Rainbow told me as she laid out on her bed, looking at me like I was so much better than she was. It made me very uncomfortable. “Besides, the crash happened like, right before you all started college. You had been trying the whole summer to convince me to go with you, and I almost caved. Until that all happened.”
“Ah know, Ah ain't blamin' you or nothin'.” I told her as I went over to the bed, sitting on the side of it and leaning back to look at her.
“You should, for one thing or another,” She cracked a smile, “First off, for all those times I would take you off campus during lunch time and keep you late, you'd get so worried that you would get caught or get in trouble.”
“Yeah, y'used to tell me, Applejack,” I imitated her higher pitched, raspy little voice and she found it rather amusing, “You really need to loosen up!”
“I totally said that!” She agreed with a loud laugh, which I joined in on. “I was right, though.”
“Yeah, maybe.” I snorted as I leaned back onto my hands, watching her as our laughter subsided, and I recalled her wording, “Wait, y'said first. Then, what's the second thing I should blame y'for?”
“Well there's probably a much longer list than just two, A.J., but since you asked,” She grinned as she sat up, grabbing my forearms in her own and yanking me over to her. I think I yelped or shouted as I was pulled up to her, but I was too focused on keeping myself from landing flat on her to pay much attention. Next thing I knew I was lying on top of her, holding myself just barely above her.
“What'd y'do that for?!” I asked loudly, and she actually full-on laughed at me. I shuffled my knees around her hips as I got a better hold of myself, keeping my irritable expression in check.
“Applejack,” She said my name much more calmly than I expected, and my eyes clashed against hers while I struggled for comfort, and her playful expression stalled me, “You really do need to loosen up.”
“Oh, don't you start, y'little tramp.” I told her off as I climbed off of her, instead laying on my side right up beside her and digging my elbow into the bed to keep my head upright.
“You flatter me.” She turned her head to face me and met my eyes, smirking sarcastically.
“All right, Ah'm here.” I gestured to the bed and room around us, adjusting my cheek as it rested on my hand, “Y'said that you wanted it to be like when we used to lie here together. All I ever remember is stayin' up all night talkin'. So, y'wanna talk, Rainbow?”
“Talk?” Rainbow Dash became a bit more serious as our gazes penetrated each other so completely and honestly. Her cheek twitched and teased a smile, but it disappeared as she sat up a bit, grabbing the vodka bottle of the table and bringing it to her lips as she tried to shrug the subject away, “You know, I feel like I've really spilled my guts to you, Applejack. I mean, what's left to talk about?”
“How about that?” I asked carefully as I nodded towards the bottle in her hands, and she slowly lowered it from her lips, seeming less comfortable with speaking about it than I expected.
“What, my drinking? Isn't it clear?” She scoffed obnoxiously, obviously trying to get by without addressing it too much, though that seemed to be exactly what she did in her snide tone, “I'm just a dumb kid with crap luck, running away from my issues instead of dealing with them.”
“Is that it?” I wondered, raising my eyebrow and waiting for more. She did not keep running though, she just let out a breath and actually answered me.
“Well, I think so. There isn't really any other reason I would do it, right? I don't really know what I like about it, honestly,” She turned the glass container over in her hand as if she was studying it, “I mean, it doesn't taste very good, it makes me sick and clumsy and stupid, and it's expensive."
“Ah don't think it's much about likin' it any more.” I suggested to her as I tilted my head just a bit more, observing her reaction.
“Maybe not. Because if that were the case, I would have stopped a long time ago. Because the more I think about it, the more I realize I really don't like it.” Rainbow Dash frowned and glared at the thing that fit so well in her hand, and she shoved it back onto her bedside table roughly, “I mean, it was his vice, Applejack. It's something that he left me, and it hurts almost as bad as those judgemental stares of his.”
“Y'mean your dad, right?” I had to be certain of that, though she made it pretty clear.
“Yeah. I never wanted to be anything like him, but here I am, and even though he's gone, it's like we're never been more similar.” She sighed in frustration as she laid back down beside me, furrowing her brows at she looked at the ceiling.
“Drinkin' ain't exclusive to your dad, Rainbow, plenty o' people do it.” I tried to be consoling, but she didn't seem to bite, “Your dad had a lot more wrong with him than a little indulgence.”
“It sure didn't help him relate to any of us.” She nodded slowly as more of her life began to spill from her mouth, “He used to lock himself up in his study, or stay out late claiming he was at work. All he really did was push everyone away and polish off his own poisons. I'm not doing much differently, Applejack. I'm pushing everyone away too, worse,” Her eyes met mine in the dim light, and the dull orange lamp cast her eyes as red, glistening like wine and just as enticing, “I'm pushing you away.”
“Ah'll be honest with you, Rainbow, Ah don't like it when you drink s'much.” I spoke with my own honesty, leaning over her a bit, “Ah like it when you're you, Ah like knowin' that the things you say to me, or, do to me,” I blushed a bit as I fought off the memory of her lips on mine and struggled to make myself heard and understood, about all of it, “Ah like knowin' that all that stuff is real.”
“I never thought it would get this bad, Applejack.” She admitted reluctantly as she avoided looking back at the bottle, staring at me instead as she made up her resolve, “But I can promise, I can promise that I'll be better.”
“You ain't gotta—” I tried to tell her, but she would not let me go on.
“I do, I do!” She turned towards me and grabbed my hand, holding it between us in both of her own as she swallowed her pride for once. “Applejack, I would do anything for you. Drinking, it's, it's, whatever, I'll fix it.”
“Ah wanna believe you.” I said gently, knowing things like this were not as easy to shake as speaking about it was.
“You will. I want to be better for you, Applejack. So maybe one day, maybe we can,” All of Rainbow Dash's features slipped into an excited smile, as she looked back up into my eyes hopefully, “Maybe you can look at me differently.”
“Differently how?” I inquired, finding her suggestion somewhat vague.
Her smile grew larger and she bit at her lip in this childish little act, her natural charisma and charm enthralling me once more as the words came out and captivated me, “I think you'll want me to answer that sober.”
I think I knew what she meant about that, and realizing it made my skin flush red enough to notice even under such dim lighting. It was one of those things that I had mentioned, one of those things I wanted to know was real instead of just an act or thought based on lack of sobriety and excess of isolation. She turned around and clicked off the lamp behind her before she decided to pull down the covers and climb beneath. I followed suit until our bodies were beneath the surprisingly cool covers, and we lay facing one another.
Though at first our hands were touching between us as we stared into the vast darkness where we knew our best friend lay, that did not seem to satisfy our needs for intimacy. Soon enough, I was staring up at the ceiling, with my arm wrapped around her small body, holding her against me. Her head rested on my chest, but it was not heavy or uncomfortable, in fact, it put me at ease. Her legs entwined with mine beneath the wrinkling covers and she pulled me closer, her own arms around my midsection.
Something about all this felt very much more than simply friendly, and it make me nervous to think about. I didn't know if most friends cuddled like this, in fact I wouldn't have pegged Rainbow Dash as the kind to want to curl up beside me anyway. But here she was.
I let out a slow and hot breath as I tried to calm down enough to sleep, or enough not to alarm her with my frantic heartbeat, which surely she could hear while her head was on my chest. I found myself smiling though, knowing that the darkness would obscure such a fact from her prying eyes. I allowed myself to enjoy the moment while it lasted, because come tomorrow, everything would go back to the way it had been before the weekend began.
Author's Notes:
So, Sunday has arrived, and the weekend is over. Oh but don't worry, the story is not. I hope you liked the song, I did write it myself but tried to keep the wording similar to Rainbow Dash, so it was a bit of a challenge.
ALSO the girl who sings the version of the song in my youtube video is a good friend of mine, and you can find more of our collaborations on our channel, MacknToth (I do the lyrics, background vocals, and harmonica, she does the singing and guitar and the music stuff).
So... comments?
Monday
***
IV. Monday
I don't remember much if I dreamed, the sleep was too peaceful to recall much else. A cool summer's evening spent in the confines of a warm embrace, it was strange to me, but lovely. I had almost forgotten with whom I had fallen into this peaceful slumber, but she was not the type to go unnoticed for long.
“Goo-ood morning, Applejack!” Her voice roused me in a start, and I covered my eyes as she turned the light on and nearly blinded me. I heard her kick the bedroom door wide open, and I had not even realized she left until she stormed right back in, “Rise and shine, beautiful! It's looking like a wonderful day out!”
“Rainbow?” I grumbled groggily as I noticed the darkness emanating from her bedroom window. I wiped my eyes as I watched her rushing over to me and climbing back onto the bed, “It ain't even dawn yet.”
“Of course not! You're leaving at dawn. Here, have some breakfast.” Rainbow Dash shoved a plate full of warm food into my hands, and I squinted to see it clearly. A glass of orange juice appeared in my hand as I blinked, and I was overwhelmed with the deliciously homey scent.
“Why're y'up so early? You're never up early.” I asked her as I cleared my throat, trying to sit upright against her headboard or crooked pillows.
“I don't usually have a reason.” She climbed right over me and sat there between my outstretched legs, which were still under the blankets. Her expression was hopefully ecstatic, and she grinned at me as I placed the plate on my lap.
“Well, al'right.” I agreed as I took a sip of the orange juice, which surprised me with its cool and flavourful nature. I noticed something particularly interesting about it, “Hey, this is just orange juice.”
“Well duh, what were you expecting, some hoity-toity tea?” She laughed as she made herself comfortable there between my knees, resting her hands on me as she watched the plate shift as I did.
“Ah mean, there ain't no vodka in it.” I clarified, and she seemed proud to agree.
“Of course not silly. Like you said, it's not even dawn yet.” Rainbow reminded me as she gestured a nod to the window and kept her eyes on mine. Her smile never even hinted that it was going to fade, she just eagerly watched me.
“Are y'feelin' al'right, sugar cube?” I found myself asking sceptically as I broke a smile of my own, noticing the arrangement of food she had laid out on my plate. It was adorable, actually, she had cut a piece of French toast in half and arranged each half-edge like a closed eye, using the bacon to complete the smile underneath. It looked something like a jack-o'-lantern.
“Never better, A.J.,” Rainbow Dash confirmed as her fingers strummed over my legs absently, “I just wanted to spend the morning with you. Is that so bad?”
“Ah never said it was bad; surprisin', maybe.” I admitted as I touched the crust of the toast, and she watched me lift it between us without a hint of her own appetite, “Y'eaten already?”
“Yeah, I had like four of those French toast things,” She bashfully grinned, rubbing the back of her head, “I had to eat all the ones I burned trying to get it right.”
“That's a lot o'work to put into a breakfast.” I suggested, but she waved the comment away, for once, modestly.
“It was nothing.” Rainbow Dash said as she squirmed out from between my knees, hiding some remnants of flushing in her cheeks. She got up off the bed and started towards the bedroom door from whence she came, “When you're finished up, come on downstairs, okay?”
“You bet.” I nodded as I bit off the corner of one of the French toast pieces, feeling my mouth begin to salivate as the sweet cinnamon topping touched my tongue.
I hummed out loud as I enjoyed it, and I could feel my lips curving up into an uncontrollable smile. It was delectable, so sugary and sweet that it woke me up better than any pot of coffee. I leaned back against the headboard and sighed contently, closing my eyes for a few seconds to enjoy it all. I could get used to waking up like this.
There was something very different about her this morning, something very familiar. She was acting much more, I don't know, herself. She was cheery and playful and physical, not brooding or moping or dwelling on things past. Something told me she was getting better, and I loved it.
I couldn't wait to scarf down my breakfast, though it was a shame to eat it all so quickly instead of savouring it, and rush downstairs after her. I felt the cool morning air on my chest as I realized my top few buttons were undone. I had a habit of loosening up my shirt in the night, as I preferred being cool while I slept rather than hot. I leisurely did them back up as my bare feet tapped against the hardwood steps. Living there over the past few days made me much more comfortable in that house, even if it was still just a shell of what once was.
I slowed as I reached the last few steps, my fingers trailing down my wrinkled shirt and absently tugging on the hem as I noticed the boxes by the door. They were not closed all the way, and they seemed to be stuffed with bottles. Ignoring them for the time being, I stepped into the foyer and peered around the corner, looking into the kitchen.
I saw Rainbow Dash in there, next to these lines of empty bottles along the counter that were being packed into another box similar to those at the door. My eyes lingered on her body, which for once was fully dressed in clean clothing. Her hair was brushed, and if I tried to listen carefully, I could hear her musing some tune. I noticed her shaking something out into the sink, and stepped closer.
“What's all this?” I asked as she turned to face me, stepping out of the way so that I could see her emptying some clear liquid into that kitchen sink. She smiled warmly at me instead of watching her beloved poisons slip away, “Is that what Ah think it is?”
“Every bottle of vodka in the house? Yeah.” Rainbow Dash said with an embarrassed grin as her stash stretched out across the counter and stacked up by the door, “I emptied them all out, I don't need the temptation.”
I blinked with surprise as I approached her, not even trying to count them all, “Really?”
“Yes, really. I told you that I would change, and I am a woman of my word.” She nodded with a laugh as the bottle was emptied and she placed it in line with the rest, running her damp hands along her pants.
“Ah can't believe it. Ah'm so proud of you, Rainbow. That's great.” I told her with approval and certainty, letting her finish drying her hands and walk over to me.
“You said that you wanted me to be sober. Well, I want to be sober too.” Rainbow Dash reminded me as she met my eyes, even though she was a mite or so shorter than myself, “I don't want to forget the things we do together, I love it all too much. I mean, we've done a lot of awesome stuff together this weekend, from fighting over that chair at the front door to playing football in the living room, from you throwing me into the bathtub fully clothed, to you letting me sing to you. I don't want to forget that stuff.”
“Ah don't want you t'forget it either.” I agreed softly, my eyes caressing hers.
“Right. I want us to be, like, adults or something, and laying in bed together and remembering all these times together, just like we did this weekend when we recalled all those goofy things we did as kids, you know?” She chuckled at the idea, and I narrowed my eyes as I ran over her wording.
“In bed?” I questioned playfully, and she faked a pout to silently guide me back on topic, “Yeah, Ah'd like that.”
“Over the past year, I have never been so sober as I am right now.” She stepped into my personal space and took my hands in hers, holding them between us as her brilliant pink eyes caught the emerging dull sunlight from the far window, “And I have you to thank, for everything. For, for coming over here every week when everyone else gave up, for always being gentle and supportive, for cleaning me up time and time again, for locking me in here with you and for forcing me to understand what I had been doing. So, so thank you, Applejack.”
“Y'give me too much credit, honey.” I blushed at the attention and shuffled around a bit, though she would give me no space to do so.
“Look, you were right.” She admitted, which was very unlike her, and squeezed my hands in her own, “I've been spending way too long just, just sitting in this place and dwelling on how it used to be, and, and I didn't even notice it all crumbling around me. I've been blind and stupid and selfish, not letting you in and not dealing with all this. I mean, I knew I couldn't possibly drink myself into this hallucinogenic state where suddenly it seemed that they were all back; not for lack of trying though.”
“What're you sayin'?” I furrowed my eyebrows and asked, knowing that there was something to this little speech of hers that she was trying to get out. Something important.
“I'm saying that, Applejack,” Rainbow Dash swallowed, keeping my name on her lips and letting out a hot breath of air as she summoned her courage, “I want to change. I want to be that girl that I used to be, but, but not the same, you know, better. I want to find my purpose, my motivation, hell, my muse. And I want to grow up. I want to be someone deserving: someone deserving of Scootaloo's admiration, someone deserving of my father's respect, even if he doesn't agree with all of my choices. And, Applejack,” She leaned closer as her fingers brushed against mine, her eyes entirely set on me, “I want to be someone deserving of you.”
Rainbow Dash reached over and touched my cheek gently, her hand no longer shaky with fear or intoxication. Shifting her toes against the ground and going up on her tip-toes to cover the height distance between us, she pressed her lips against mine. Her other arm slipped around my neck as she pulled the kiss deeper, the heat of honesty trapped in our mouths and shared so intimately. I closed my eyes to feel her there before me, around me, against me.
This kiss was different from the one we shared less than two days ago. This one was not aggressive or forceful, nor did she try to wrestle with my tongue, though I would not have minded so much. She did not taste like vodka, there was no haze over our eyes, and I was not quite so terribly surprised. It was perfect and passionate and simple. I might not even hesitate to say I enjoyed it.
I raised my hands to place them on or around her, but I was not certain if that was all right. After all, she had just began to recover, I should not tamper with that. Despite my own urges, be they formerly unknown to me, I reluctantly held myself back and only allowed myself to move my lips against hers.
I realized it as she stood in my arms and I in hers, I was in love with the girl. I was, I really and truly was. I could feel my heart fluttering and my mood skyrocketing through the roof. It was not something I had ever considered before, especially when she had been dealing with such substantial issues, but now it stood before me plain as day just the way she herself did. The kiss, however, did not seem to last long enough, but in its brevity sparked some indulgent desire to press on or chase her.
Her lips released mine, but she did not pull away or move from our embrace. I could feel her there, barely and inch apart from me, and I knew without even looking that she was smiling at me. I couldn't help such a thing myself, and as if on cue the two of us opened our eyes and saw each other. Rainbow Dash huffed a quick pleased sound as her eyes traced my expression, and she bit at her now rosy lips.
“Stay.” A word escaped her, and though it was so quiet and gentle it struck me to hear.
I opened my mouth to say something, before I realized that I had no idea what to say. I wanted to stay, I really did, but that was not something that I could promise her. This weekend had been life-altering for the both of us, but as it ended I remembered that I had obligations, I had responsibilities. I felt her body in my drumming fingers, and had not remembered when I rested my hands on her waist.
“Ah-Ah can't.” I eventually stuttered out, though it was painful to say. She did not take it as an answer, though.
“Just for today. You can miss school once, can't you?” She asked me carefully, raising an eyebrow daringly as I chewed it over.
“Well,” I stifled a groan as I felt her arms rest around my neck, her chest brushing against mine in an oddly appealing way, “Y'always did tell me t'loosen up about that stuff.”
“Hell yeah!” Rainbow Dash cheerily agreed, teetering on her heels and her toes, shifting around in the embrace like she wanted to feel it all over her, “You really know how to make a girl happy.”
“Don't go there.” I grumbled with a chuckle, turning the conversation back at her, “Ah think you're just a bad influence.”
“Mhmm, maybe so.” She smiled and agreed, spinning the two of us around so her back was to the foyer before she started pulling me after her. “So, how does this sound: you, me, a little ice cream, a little nostalgia, and maybe, if you're lucky,” Rainbow Dash licked her lips as her eyes looked at me up and down, “A little something else.”
“Ah don't even wanna know what you're thinkin' right now.” I told her as I shook her off, playing coy as I walked around the couch and sat down into that same spot I spent most of the previous day lounging in, “But if y'mean a little work 'round the house, gettin' them cobwebs outta the corners, screwin' in a few o'them loose handles on your cabinets, then yeah, count me in.”
“That's a horrible way to spend an afternoon of playing hookey, you're a workaholic—like, physically ill, you know that?” Rainbow Dash told me as she flopped down after me, slinging her arm over the back of the couch and around my shoulders.
“Oh, y'love me anyway.” I smirked as she forced a sarcastic laugh, sitting up to grab one of the controllers from the coffee table she then tossed into my lap.
“Here, let me show you a little something about skipping school, mkay?” She shook her own controller at me and winked as she reached out and poked the power button on the television remote, bringing it to life.
She sure did know how to waste a morning, I'll give her that much. I suppose all her hanging around here for the past year had something to do with that, but she always was a slacker. Seemed pretty different than myself, granted, but it seemed to work for the both of us: me to keep her focused and her to help me relax. For once, I did not feel guilty about avoiding my responsibilities, she made me feel better than classes or work ever did.
We played several of her video games, and I think she even let me win a few times, not that she'd admit it. Silly girl, too proud to even admit humility. As the fragments of dulled sun finally stretched across the living room floor, permitted to do so since she herself had pulled the curtains back to let it in, the morning had entirely escaped us. We got around to watching a bit of television while we ate some of that promised ice cream, which was freezer burnt and awfully sweet, but seemed to do the trick.
I managed to convince her to help me fix up a few things around the house, including some squeaky hinges that had been bothering me since I arrived. She whined the whole while, but whether she meant it or not she still kept by my side, complaints and all. We finished gathering up all the empty bottles and stacking the boxes by the door, which I promised to help her take out to the recycling depot sometime soon. Now the front door seemed rather cluttered, what with the dining room chair and all those boxes stuffed with things she no longer needed.
I lingered on the sight of that front door as Rainbow Dash took our dirtied dishes to the kitchen. It seemed so strange to me then, that I might have thought for a moment I had to force myself to stay here. Now the weekend was over, and I could easily move that chair from in front of the door, but I didn't want to. I did, however, find myself checking my watch a few too many times, and it seemed even someone as dense as her took notice.
“Late for something?” Rainbow asked as she leaned against the door frame between the foyer and the living room, raising an eyebrow and casting a smug expression over at me.
“Not yet,” I told her, and she silently questioned what that could have meant, “Listen honey, Ah can skip school, sure, but Ah did make a promise t'be somewhere shortly.”
“And where might that be?” She wondered, though she didn't seem as interested in where as she did in why. Perhaps, more so, why it was more important than hanging around here.
“Every second Monday's the only day that all the girls have a few hours t'see each other.” I explained to her as I stood up, and she nodded as she understood, though it made her a bit uncomfortable to hear, “And this Monday's gonna be a mite special, actually.”
“Oh?” Rainbow Dash leaned back and tilted her head to me as I approached her.
“Yeah. See, this Monday, Ah'm bringin' a guest, a very special guest.” I hinted with a smile, and her confidence immediately melted away to make room for uneasiness as she understood what I intended.
“No way, Applejack. No freaking way.” She denied with certainty, pushing off the wall and walking over to the door, eyeing the chair that still rested under the door knob. “I am not some charity case to show off, you know.”
“Where'd y'get that idea?” I wondered seriously as she drifted away from me, crossing her arms and rubbing her elbows a bit, “Ah don't think of you that way, believe me. Ah just thought maybe you'd wanna see everybody, Ah mean, they missed you. We all did.”
“The only person I see standing here is you, A.J., looks more like you're the only one who really missed me.” She turned around sharply and glared at me, though her anger was not with me.
“You're gonna hafta see them eventually,” I reminded her as I put my hands on my hips, looking blankly at her childish display, “Besides, it's best t'get you outta here for a spell.”
“I am not going.” She spoke defiantly, and I sighed slowly as our gazes clashed between us.
“Al'right,” I raised my hands passively as I let her have her way, pushing past her as I went over to the door, “But Ah am. Ah guess I'll see y'later, then.”
“Wait,” Rainbow Dash raced around me and got in front of me, standing between me and the door, “I don't want you to go.”
“Ah don't belong t'you.” I reminded her coolly as I tried to get past her, but she moved in front of me again, her reflexes sharpened by sobriety. I grunted as she did it once more, she was not one to give up so easily, it seemed.
I went to grab the chair, but she knocked my hand away, hurrying to make it impossible for me to move it. She plopped down right on top of the leaning wooden thing, despite how it creaked a bit with the pressure of her weight on only two old legs. I gave her an incredulous stare and shook my head, though she responded by sticking her tongue out at me and crossing her arms once again. I clapped my hands against the sides of my jeans and narrowed my eyes at her.
“What in the hay are y'doin?” I asked monotonously, watching as she kept her balance quite well.
“I don't know. Probably acting selfish and ridiculous. I just want you here, with me,” She chewed at her cheeks inside her mouth as the words came out, “They don't deserve you as a friend, you know that?”
“What's that s'posed t'mean? Of course they do, y'lunatic, they're our best friends. Just 'cause they ain't good with serious stuff don't mean they ain't good friends.” I tried to explain as I leaned down over her, watching her pout.
“But,” Rainbow Dash shifted, and the chair beneath her groaned a bit, “What if they don't want to see me? What if I make them uncomfortable? I mean, look at me, I'm a mess.”
“We all get a little messy sometimes,” I smiled as I started, reminding her of little facts about those very friends, “Like when Twilight is late for assignments, like when Pinkie Pie thinks we don't wanna go t'her parties, like when Fluttershy meets new people or tries t'get over her insecurities, like when Rarity loses anythin' an' assumes it's the worst possible thing. Like me, when Ah try an' do a whole harvest alone, or like you, whenever y'don't win or don't get your way.”
“Yeah, I guess none of us are so well-adjusted.” Rainbow Dash nodded and snickered a bit.
“So get off'a your butt already.” I held my hand out between us, offering her help up from that odd, tipped back position that seemed uncomfortable and dangerous.
She returned my warm smile and clapped her hand against mine, clasping it as she moved to get up. However, that chair there was not quite so well-adjusted either, it seemed, because as soon as she tried to get up off of it, the old thing creaked and slipped against the floor. It fell out from under the door knob and plummeted to the ground, the back cracking against it as the legs knocked up from underneath it. As it fell, I quickly lifted Rainbow Dash off the dangerous thing and held her there barely upright an inch or so from myself, wrapping my other arm around her waist for support. The legs of the chair kicked up and weaved between our own legs, pinning us in our position.
Our surprised expressions mirrored each other, and in unison we looked down at the now fractured object beneath us. The back of the chair had split through, and there was a scratch on the door from where it had fallen. Still, the legs of the chair somehow managed to run between our ankles and knees, without hitting us at all. We both huffed a few wary laughs as we manoeuvred our way out of the mess, picking up the poor broken object together.
“I guess we couldn't stay locked in here forever.” Rainbow Dash muttered with a small smile as we leaned the chair against the wall, and for some reason it seemed that both of us regarded the object with some kind of reverence.
“Nah, Ah s'pose not.” I agreed with a nod, my eyes trailing that old dining chair affectionately. “Al'right, you go get dressed while I pack up the truck.”
“Aye-aye,” She gave me a lazy salute as she went up to her bedroom to get socks or shoes or whatever she needed.
I pried that front door open at last, but instead of being blinded by the sun as I would expect from a summer day, I was greeted with a warm summer rain. Not that it bothered me, seeing as how my wide-brimmed hat kept it out of my eyes. I hoisted up a few of those boxes and carried them on out anyway. The empty bottles made small specks of musical notes as the rain hit them, and I found it oddly charming. It only took a couple trips to get all of the boxes, and I returned once more to grab my dufflebag, which I shoved back behind my seat.
By the time I returned to the house, Rainbow Dash was coming down the stairs. She had put on one of her old leather jackets, something she used to be known for wearing when she wasn't in her athletic gear. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs in the foyer and looked out the front door, noticing the rain. By then, I was already damp from the trips to and from the truck, but I realized then that it was possible she had not been out in the rain for a good long time.
Rainbow Dash used to love the rain, it never troubled her one bit. She'd always run right out there, telling me she was looking for the rainbows. Twilight even got around to telling her how to find them, what conditions permitted them to be made, but Rainbow Dash always said that you couldn't peg that kind of natural beauty to science. Now though, she just stared at it and kept her hands in the pockets of her undone jacket.
“It's raining.” She told me dully, as if I didn't notice. I smirked a bit as I stood on the mat just outside the front of the door.
“Y'know? Ah think you're right.” I said sarcastically as I raised my hand as if to catch the falling drops.
“Smart ass.” She scoffed at my remark, moving another few paces until she was just inside the doorway, though she looked uneasy about going any further. “I don't know about this, Applejack.” She tried to make excuses, but I was not about to take any.
“Come on, honey, Ah'm right here.” I stepped one foot into the doorway and extended my hand to her once more. She looked at it for a moment like she was trying to figure it out, which only brought an adoring smile to my face, “Ah can wait all day, unless y'want me to carry you on outta there.”
She sighed inaudibly as she made up her mind, and grabbed the door knob in her hand as she took the last step. Her hand landed in mine, which was damp and flushed from the rain and exertion. I led her out the door, which she pulled shut behind her as she willingly followed me. The slight overhang from the roof above her was short, and she walked out from underneath it hesitantly, blinking a bit as the rain touched her face. I smiled as I dragged her faster, pulling us into a jog towards the truck.
Leaning her head back, she looked up at the overcast skies, rain tapping against her cheeks and lips all the while. Gradually, I saw that same old endearing grin slide across her face; as if her lips were made of sugar and rainwater knew best how to melt them. She left everything else behind in that dark old house for me, for me and this magic in the air, be it rain or something less scientific.
I pulled the passenger's side door open for her and helped her in, closing it up after her before going around to my own side. I jumped up the foot or two distance the truck had above the ground, and landed in my seat. It all fell quieter as I closed my own door, and the rain danced around us making images and tunes on the wind shield. She still seemed rather out of her comfort zone as she adjusted in the seat, avoiding my eye line. I suppose being in a vehicle again after what happened, and after spending the past several months indoors, it was a little unnerving.
“Hey,” I spoke as I reached over and put my hand on her thigh, commanding her attention, “Relax, Ah thought that was what you're best at?”
“Maybe this wasn't a great idea.” Rainbow Dash argued, though she did not seem invested in one side or the other. The more she thought about it, looking around the truck and the big wide spaces around her, the more uneasy she got. Her hands fidgeted in her lap, and she shifted around in her seat several times before her voice cracked out in that high pitch of hers, “I can't do this.”
“Yes, you can! Here,” I said back, leaning over and pressing down the lock in the door, watching her eyes widen with mild fear or shock. I climbed further over her, grabbing the seatbelt from behind her shoulder and pulling it across her body, clicking it into the buckle, “Now stay put.”
“Are you kidnapping me?” She asked in disbelief as I turned on the truck, which roared and shook beneath our seats.
“Ah reckon Ah just might be.” I affirmed as I put it into gear, driving us away from that familiar house that had kept her captive long before I arrived.
“Are you going to drive me to some vacant lot and rape me too?” Rainbow Dash growled, though it seemed like she was being more playful than aggressive.
“It ain't rape if y'beg me for it first.” I smirked as I crossed my hands over each other two or three times to get a full turn around the block.
“Oh, listen to you with the jokes!” She cried as she threw her hands up before sinking into her seat. She did not seem angry with me though, as she looked back over and seemed to trace me with her eyes.
I knew that she was the kind of person who needed a bit of a push once in a while, and it seemed I was right. The further we went, the less uncomfortable she became. I reached over and touched her shoulder, squeezing it supportively as she nuzzled me in acceptance. I couldn't do it for long of course, as the manual transmission called for my commands loudly. Due to the old truck's heaving, each time I changed the gears we both shifted a bit in our seats, which felt almost intimate between us.
Rainbow Dash sat up a bit when she caught sight of herself in the side mirror, and cranked her arm around as she rolled down her window to get the rain water off of it. She leaned closer as she reached out and knocked some drops of water off the mirror itself, staring at her reflection all the while. She reached up and touched her once multi-coloured hair, something entirely unique about her that she seemed to have let slide. Now her dark roots had grown in, and it bothered her again.
“Jeez, I can only imagine what the girls are going to say about this.” Rainbow Dash furrowed her eyebrows as she ran her fingers through it with dissatisfaction.
I watched her carefully as she seemed so upset about it, when I was struck with an idea. I reached up and grabbed the brim of my Stetson, which was only slightly damp as it was good in rainy weather, and picked it up. I leaned closer to her and pulled it over her head, knocking it right over her eyes as I did. She was surprised as she pushed it back up, looking over at me with grateful eyes.
“Now no one can see them roots o'yours.” I told her passively as I glanced at her, before checking my rear-view for passing cars, which reminded me of something that dangled right in front of our faces, “Besides, y'match my air fresh'ner.”
“Your—?” She started to ask, but the memory came back to her as she noticed it hanging there, and this great big smile spread across her face as she did, “You still have that thing?”
“O'course. It's cute, ain't it?” I asked as I flicked it, sending it spinning around in front of us, “And it reminds me of a certain someone.”
“You think I'm cute?” Rainbow Dash asked deviously as her grin spread, and she leaned closer to see the blush on my face.
“That ain't what Ah meant!” I denied as I watched the road, squeezing my hands on the steering wheel until she stopped snickering. I shook my head back and forth as I released a small smile, loving our familiar banter.
It wasn't a particularly long drive to where I was meeting the girls, which was in the parking lot behind the library on campus. Granted, not all of us went to that college, but it was an adequate meeting spot regardless. I was surprised that I had got in at all honestly, my grades were nothing to write home about, but I was a hard worker.
Rainbow Dash kicked her feet up onto the dashboard despite my blank and irritable expression, and tipped that hat of mine over her eyes. She did look pretty sharp all dressed up in her jacket and those ripped jeans, I hadn't seen her so confident in a good long time. I actually had to force myself to look away from her to keep focused on the road. She glanced over at me from under the brim and got the nerve to strike up conversation.
“Your radio broken, A.J.?” Rainbow Dash asked as she gestured at the console in my truck. Honestly, it was not in the best shape, nothing in this old rust bucket was.
“Like everythin' else.” I told her as I changed lanes, checking my mirrors through the slowly passing rain, “What, y'don't like just talkin'? Ah could ask you to sing for me again.”
“Don't push it,” She snickered as she shook her head. I could tell she did have something to say, from the way she kept sucking on her words, but I waited patiently until she found that they tasted good enough to share, “So, you're coming over on Friday, right?”
“Yeah, Ah told you Ah would. Every week, remember?” I agreed as I saw the sign for the college on the lawn in front of the entrance, which I turned towards.
“Good,” She nodded slowly as she watched the scenery pass us by through the much clearer windows, as there was no longer rain pounding on them. Her voice came again though, “Maybe we can do some more work around the house. There's a lot that needs fixing up.”
“Al'right, now why're you the one mentionin' house work?” I asked sceptically as I cast her a glance before pulling onto the main road around the campus.
“Well, to be honest? I'm selling the place, Applejack.” Rainbow Dash revealed, and I was surprised to hear such a thing. She knocked her feet off the dashboard as she sat up and spoke seriously, “I can't live there any more, it's too quiet, too stuffed up with memories. You know?”
“Yeah, Ah understand.” I agreed with a few nods, hoping the subject was not too sensitive.
“I'll get a little place of my own, an apartment or something, and put the rest of the stuff into storage.” She told me as she leaned her cheek on her hand, looking out the window instead of at me.
I played with my cheek between my teeth as I tried to work up the courage to speak again, and found myself glancing over at her incessantly until I did, “Well, you could always,” I swallowed my stomach which had jumped up into my throat, or so it felt, “You could always stay with me.”
Rainbow Dash's attention darted over to me, and her eyes grabbed mine forcefully. At first, I couldn't really tell if she was angry or hesitant or what, seeing as how I had to focus on finding my way into the parking lot. Her voice called to me though, “What?”
“Ah mean, just for a while, until y'sell the house, or find a place, or,” I glanced into her eyes apprehensively, “Until you wanna leave.”
She stared at me as I pulled up into the parking lot, though my attention was more on her than the drive. Finally, some kind of joy tugged at her lips and pulled them up into a smile, “I think I'd like that.”
“Yeah, me too.” I agreed even though I tried to hide the reflective smile that graced my own features.
I pulled into a spot that faced the library, noticing the purple-haired Twilight Sparkle sitting on a bench with her nose in a book. It was no surprise that she didn't notice me pull up, something in those words seemed more captivating to her than real life sometimes. I put the truck into park and leaned my elbow onto the steering wheel, turning to face Rainbow Dash as she recognized the girl a mere several yards away.
"Al'right sugar cube, here we are.” I told her as if she couldn't tell, and she just sort of nodded slowly, “Now, Ah know you ain't the shy type. Come on,” I reached over and unlocked her door, letting her undo her seatbelt for herself. Still though, she just sat there uncertainly, “She ain't gonna bite you.”
I kicked open my own door and hopped out, stepping my trusted cowboy boots onto the cool, wet pavement. I came around the truck to Rainbow's side, and still Twilight didn't even bother to look up from whatever had peaked her interest this time. Rainbow let out a shaky breath as I pulled the door open and leaned into the open window, watching her shuffle out of the seat.
She stepped onto the concrete and tested each foot against the hard ground, her feet not quite accustomed to shoes any more. She didn't say anything or move to follow me to greet our friend, instead she waited for confirmation or something. I crossed my arms over the door as I stood on my tip toes, leaning through the window to get nice and close to her.
“You ain't scared, are you?” I teased her, and she immediately got defensive.
“No!” She argued defiantly as she pouted out her bottom lip, shielding herself behind the open passenger’s door, “I just, look, I haven't been outside my house much in the last few months and now I'm all the way across town with you and, and sober, and going to have to try and be civil and normal and, and whatever.”
“Normal? Who said y'gotta be normal?” I asked her as I raised an eyebrow, and she looked away from me as her hands played in her pockets, “There was a time that me, you, and all o'our friends hung out together without even considerin' it might be uncomfortable. Ain't nothin's really changed. Why y'gotta make this out t'be a big deal?”
“I just don't feel all that close to them any more.” She admitted with a sigh, her eyes coming back to mine as they always did.
“Applejack!” We both flinched as my name was called out, and I looked over my shoulder to see Twilight closing up her book and getting to her feet, waving at me. It seemed that she had not even noticed Rainbow Dash, seeing as how she was standing directly behind me and the truck door.
“Look, just be yourself, al'right? They already like you; they were your friends, Rainbow. They are your friends.” I reminded her in a whisper as I heard Twilight approaching us.
“I was beginning to think you weren't coming, you're never late. Well, regardless, Rarity should be here with the girls in a few minutes.” Twilight kept speaking as she came up to me, and I looked back at her once more. She stopped a few feet behind me with a questioning gaze, and she tilted her head as she asked, “Why are you standing there by the door?”
“Howdy, Twi.” I greeted her and pulled back off of the door, “Y'remember Rainbow Dash, don'tcha?”
I moved out of the way so that they could see each other, and the two of them just stood there in silence for a moment. Rainbow Dash seemed most uncomfortable, as she shifted around until I closed the passenger's side door. Her eyes hit mine pleadingly, and I smiled warmly before she removed her hand from her pocket, taking mine in her own as if searching for support. I tugged her after me as I stepped over to Twilight, who seemed completely surprised by her appearance.
I nudged Rainbow, and through her nervously faked smile, she managed to speak, “S'up?”
“Rainbow Dash?” Twilight's voice rang out in shock as she looked at her, shaking her head in disbelief, “Is that you? Well, of course it's you, I mean, why are you, how did—?”
“And here I thought you were the smart one.” Rainbow Dash remarked teasingly, and Twilight's face lit up at the familiar hazing.
“I'm so glad to see you!” The bookworm nearly shouted, and Rainbow Dash blinked and tensed her shoulders up as she kept going, “I can't believe you're here, I haven't seen you in, in months!”
“Yeah, it's been a while.” Rainbow agreed anxiously as her fingers moved in mine, and I could feel her palm sweating. I squeezed a little harder until she relaxed, and Twilight's expression shifted to curiosity.
“So,” Her eyes ran along between us as she noticed the hat on Rainbow's head, and her hand in my own. She smiled a bit as it kind of came together, “I guess a lot happened over the last few days.”
“Yeah, A.J. here locked me in my own house and tried to kidnap me.” Rainbow Dash explained with a smirk, leaning against me as she spoke of it.
“Doesn't look like you minded too much.” Twilight added, and Rainbow opened her mouth to make a snotty remark, but found nothing except the rosiness of her own cheeks.
“No, I guess I was just a bit difficult.” Rainbow admitted as she seemed to become more comfortable in the company, “Like that's anything new.”
“Well, how are you feeling? I don't mean to pry or anything, but, are you okay?” Twilight asked nervously, her lack of social prowess showing clear. Rainbow Dash didn't mind though.
“I'm a lot better now, thanks to Applejack.” She swung my hand in her own and brought back that trademark smirk, though her honesty spilled out once more, “I feel like, like I just woke up. Like everything in the past year, and maybe before then, like all of that was some fuzzy dream or nightmare. You know?”
“That's good to hear.” Twilight agreed with a few nods, clutching her book bag tightly. Her eyes shifted from us to the parking lot, which we had our backs to, “Oh, there's Rarity.”
Twilight raised her hand to wave to the vehicle that pulled up a little ways away from my own. Rainbow Dash and myself turned around and peered back, recognizing the vehicle as Rarity's and the occupants as our remaining friends. Rainbow squeezed my hand in anticipation, but I just continued to supportively hold it in my own. One of the doors burst open before the car came to a full stop, and I swear I could hear Rarity squealing from inside about how dangerous that was.
“Rainbow Dash!?” A boisterous and flamboyant voice called, and both of us winced to hear it. We knew what was coming next. “Oh my gosh!”
“Crap.” Rainbow Dash muttered as she recognized the girl who leapt from Rarity's car, a certain bubbly, pink-haired girl who, for a girl who was carrying around a few extra pounds, cleared the distance between them in quick strides. “Nice knowing you.”
Our frizzy-pink-haired friend nearly toppled Rainbow Dash over in her bounding hug, and I could almost hear her spine crack under the pressure. I let her hand go as I covered my mouth to keep from chuckling, but she did not seem quite as pleased. Her eyes met mine over our friend's shoulder, and I could see just how uncomfortable she was in the embrace, if her tense body language didn't give that away already.
“How 'bout givin' the girl a little room t'breathe, Pinkie Pie?” I asked politely as Rainbow flashed me a very grateful expression.
“I'm sorry, Dash!” Pinkie pulled away and checked on the choking girl, who pushed her away, “I'm just so excited to see you! I cannot believe— you're wearing Applejack's hat?” She interrupted her own sentence with a different question, and we both just laughed nervously.
“Pinkie, darling, really,” Rarity's voice chimed in as she and Fluttershy came over to us. Rarity locked her car doors with the press of a button over her shoulder as she went on, “You're going to scare her off doing things like that.”
“I said I was sorry!” Pinkie Pie finally stepped away and Rainbow Dash scurried back to my side, wiping her jacket off as if Pinkie Pie had left cooties on it.
“Well, it certainly is a surprise to have you grace us with your presence,” Rarity beamed as she joined our little circle, her eyes on my still grouchy and uncertain best friend, “It really has been too long, my dear.”
“Yeah, guess I took things a little far with the brooding, didn't I?” She shook her head and forced a laugh.
“Nothin' doin'.” I told her as I slipped my arm around her shoulders, holding her tight for a comforting, one-armed hug. She smiled against me as she enjoyed it, and as I released her, her attention turned to the quietest of the group as she looked like she was trying to speak.
“I-I missed you, Rainbow Dash.” Fluttershy nearly whispered, but Rainbow Dash just smiled and put her at ease.
“You too, Fluttershy. But don't worry, I'm back for good now. A.J. gave me a good hard smack to set me straight.” Rainbow Dash nudged me as I frowned.
“Ah did no such thing!” I argued defensively as the rest of them laughed a bit. Perhaps we were not the only ones who missed our playful bickering.
Still, Rainbow Dash's curious gaze lingered on that meek girl, who played with her fingers a bit and avoided the gaze. With a loud sigh, Rainbow Dash slung her arm over my shoulders, forcing me to lean down a bit to her height. She nodded a gesture to the rest of them, albeit somewhat reluctantly.
“All right, bring it in.” Rainbow Dash told everyone, and immediately they all rushed in. No one ever had to tell those girls twice when a group hug was initiated.
The girls all closed in on us and threw their arms around each other, burying the two of us in the embrace. But even through the mass of musings, cheers and arms, Rainbow Dash's gaze was on me, and she even so much as cracked a smile. Her arm squeezed me tighter as she leaned against me, and I could feel the heat of her body even though others were so near.
I realized it then, the position she had put me in. Here I was on her arm, the same way that Scootaloo had once began to draw us. It made me somewhat sad, but seeing her pleasant expression strangled that uncertainty. I mean, Scootaloo had seen something between us that she liked, that she liked so much she wanted to express to the rest of the world. She just wanted her older sister to be happy, the way she was in that half-coloured sketch. And here was Rainbow Dash, and it had taken her over a year to give Scootaloo exactly what it was that she wanted from her, some joy and self-contentment.
The rest of the girls pulled away before the two of us did, and it seemed in our shared gaze that she knew exactly what I was thinking about. Finally, her arm slipped down my back, running along my spine until she swung it back to herself. I dipped my hands into my rear pockets and swayed on my boots, trying to hide the cheeky, jubilant smile that tried to dare display.
“Well, I suppose a little celebration is in order, then.” Rarity mentioned as she looked around the group, finding us all in our best moods, “How does dinner sound? All of us together at last.”
“I guess I can't get a ride with you this time, Applejack.” Twilight noticed as she remembered that my truck only sat two, “Do you have room for me, Rarity?”
“I'm sure you can squeeze in beside us, Twilight. I won't mind Applejack stick-shifting between my legs for a little while.” Rainbow Dash grinned deviously as I stammered and tried to get the blush in my cheeks under control.
“Oh hush, y'little pervert.” I told her off, but could not stop the smile that was plastered all over my face.
“Yes, I have room, Twilight. Where shall we go, then?” Rarity asked, and for a moment, everyone went quiet. I suppose going out for drinks was out of the question, as this was Rainbow's first day sober. As usual, Pinkie Pie was the first one to screech out an answer.
“Burgers!” She shouted as we flinched, and Rainbow Dash clicked her jaw like she was trying to pop her ears.
“Marvellously quaint and simple,” Rarity agreed as she clapped, nodding as she started stepping towards her car, ushering the other girls after her, “Meet us there?”
“The old joint on fourth?” I called after them, and they all agreed readily. It had been one of our favourite places to eat when we used to go to high school together, in fact, it was pretty near to the school itself. “Burgers work for you, honey?” I asked as I put my arm around Rainbow Dash and led her the very few paces back to the truck.
“Yeah, burgers sound awesome.” Rainbow Dash agreed as she looked up at me with those adorably enticing pink eyes, finally displaying some hope and admiration. She grinned as another few words slipped out, and she nudged against me playfully, “Just promise me your onions and pickles, Applejack.”
I pulled her close and kissed her on the cheek, letting my lips linger on her cool skin, which for the first time in months was also graced by the peeking beams of sunlight creeping out from those clouds she must have thought hung above her head, “Always.”
It was truly remarkable all that we had put each other through over one measly weekend, which was such an insignificant amount of time compared to our entire relationship together. Rainbow Dash was far from fixed, but that did not mean she was not better. I may have had to force her into it, but it was clear to me that she was becoming someone stronger than who she once was, even though I thought such a thing was impossible.
She had been so very afraid of changing, maybe because it felt like she would be leaving behind the people who had been the pillars of her life. Well, three of the four. I mean, she had lost her younger sister, her mother, and her father, but I was still right there beside her. And sure, maybe the structure had fallen apart around her, but I was still standing there. And I suppose that was enough. Something enough to lean on, something enough to support her, something enough to keep her sober.
Author's Notes:
And it's done. At long last, I worked through the whole thing. And I must say, I am kind of happy with it. Which is an odd thing for me, trust me. Took me about ten days to work out, which would have been shorter had school and work not been an issue... But regardless, it is finished!
Thank you all for reading, and I hope you got something out of it! Cheers!
