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The Wheel and the Butterfly A Dan X Pinkie Pie Saga

by Justice3442

Chapter 92: Part 10 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Interspecies Relationship: Chapter 81  Dan Vs. Explanation

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The Wheel and the Butterfly







A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga



Part 10 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Interspecies Relationship







Chapter 81 Dan Vs. Explanation

-ooooooo-

Wheeeeeeee…!

AHAHAHAHAHAHA…!

“Meroworowroworow…”

Elise awoke to the sound of enthusiastic exclamation of joy, maniacal laughter, and an excited cat over the sound of rapid galloping.

She felt something soft under her and something warm next to her. She stood up and observed she had been moved to Dan and Pinkie’s bed along with Chris.

Wheeeeee…Hey Elise!” Pinkie said as she galloped about with Dan on her back, her boyfriend having firmly grasped a handful of her curly main in both hands. Mr. Mumbles sat on Dan’s shoulder and clung on with all her might.

HAHAHAHA… Hey, Useless.” Dan greeted as Pinkie quickly galloped the trio out of the room.

Elise grinned wide despite the fact that Dan had clearly taken advantage of her unconscious state to arrange riding Pinkie without interference. So it wasn’t a dream… Elise glanced over towards Pinkie’s mirror to observe the purple alicorn within had begun quietly reading the various books and scrolls spread before her.

“Chris…” Elise whispered as she nudged her husband, “Wake up…”

Snort…Well, okay…” Chris mumbled in his sleep, “… a double dose of whipped cream on the candied bacon shake… if you insist…”

“Chris!” Elise said more forcefully.

“AH!” The tall man shot up in the bed, “Elise! I had the weirdest dream…”

Wheeeeee…Hey Chris!” Pinkie said as she galloped in the room again.

HAHAHAHA… Hey, Uselesser.” Dan greeted as Pinkie quickly galloped herself, her boyfriend, and Mr. Mumbles out of the room again.

“…Or maybe I’m still having it…” Chris uttered as his eyes went wide and the color drained from his face.

Elise shook her head. “It’s no dream, Chris!” Elise said with a smile. Pinkie is a real pony and she has a winged unicorn…”

“Alicorn,” Twilight corrected without looking up from the collection of spells in front of her on the library floor.

“…Right, alicorn, Princess friend!” Elise said.

Chris’s eyes began to roll back in his head again as his body went slack.

Elise quickly grabbed her husband by the arms and firmly held him up, “Stay with me Chris, you’ve already passed out once, today…”

Wheeeeee…Twice!” Pinkie corrected as she galloped into the room again.

HAHAHAHA… And that’s why he’s Uslesser!” Dan informed as pinkie took the group out of the small bedroom once more.

“Sorry,” Chris said weakly, “it’s just… this is sooo weird…”

“Seriously? After all the weird things you and Dan have been through, talking, pastel ponies is too much for you?”

Wheeeeee…Elise has a point!”

HAHAHAHA… Yeah! Suck it up, monkey-face!”

“Yeah, well none of the weird things turned out to be his girlfriend or a good friend of ours!” Chris countered.

“We should be so lucky that the one time the weirdness around Dan hits so close to home it’s a positive thing.”

Chris raised an eyebrow, “Pinkie being a pony is a good thing?”

“Uh well…”

HAHAHAHA… I’m making the most of it!”

Wheeeeee… He really is!”

Chris followed the group with his eyes as they made a quick circle in the small bedroom and rode out again, “…this is about the pony your parents never got you, isn’t it?”

Elise knitted her brow, “That’s a bit unfair… I mean, okay,” Elise began as she flicked a palm upwards and glanced at the ceiling, “practically every young girl wants a pony at some point in their life regardless of how reasonable a request it is, but my parents didn’t even let me go to horse camp!”

“That’s a thing?” Chris asked.

Elise nodded, “Yes, that’s a thing. Also, Pinkie talks and is my best friend, so… this is like the ultimate girl childhood wish coming true here!”

“Uh, fair enough…” Chris replied. “So, this is why Dan asked for us to be here? Just to show that Pinkie was really a pony from a magic pony dimension?”

Wheeeeee… Noper! Elise is going to work with Twilight to make me human again!”

Dan stopped laughing, “Yeah… before it gets really weird…”

Elise sighed.

Chris cocked an eyebrow at his wife, “You really want her to stay a pony?”

“I kinda do…” Elise admitted.

“Believe me,” Twilight said as she looked up at the couple, “you really don’t.”

Elise pouted as she turned to Twilight, “Why not?”

“Well, she’s fine now,” Twilight stressed, “but that’s because she’s had Dan to keep her calm all morning.”

“Really?” Chris asked. “Dan of all people is keeping her calm?”

“I’m as surprised as you,” Twilight said. “Uh, Twilight Sparkle, by the way.” Twilight said motioning to herself.

“Uh hey…Twilight Sparkle…” Chris said in an unsure tone of voice, “I’m Chris.”

Twilight smiled and nodded, “Pinkie’s told me a lot about you two. Thanks for helping take care of her and keeping her out of too much trouble…”

Chris and Elise exchanged a quick glance and each cocked an eyebrow as they looked back at Twilight.

“You really think we keep her out of trouble?” Elise asked.

“Well, I’m weighing it against the stuff I can only imagine Dan would get her into if there was absolutely no one else around to at least curb their mayhem a bit.”

Chris chuckled, “Good point.”

Wheeeee…”

HAHAHAHA…”

“Pinkie!” Twilight called out.

Pinkie stopped galloping, “Yes, Twilight?”

“I think we’re ready to get started here.”

“Alright, Twilight!” Pinkie said cheerfully.

“No fair!” Dan protested as he let go of Pinkie’s mane and stepped down to the floor. “I was having fun.”

Merrow!” Mr. Mumbles added with a disappointed sounding mew from Dan’s shoulder.

“It’s okay!” Pinkie said. She leaned her muzzle in close to Dan and whispered in a sultry voice, “Maybe you can ride me later…”

Mr. Mumbles took this opportunity to jump off Dan’s shoulders and bolt out of the room

The color drained from Dan’s face as surprise and dread took a wrecking ball to his irritated expression. Dan forced a cheery expression on his face, “Elise! Why don’t you have a turn?”

Elise’s face lit up as she leapt over her husband and off the bed, “Can I?!”

Pinkie looked at her and smiled, “Of course Elise.”

“But…” Twilight began to protest.

“Now Twilight, as Pinkie says, ‘You gotta share, you gotta care’,” Dan said.

Pinkie nodded, “That is totally a thing I say!”

Twilight looked on with annoyance as Elise clambered onto the back of Pinkie and pinkie resumed her excited galloping around the apartment.

HehehehHAHAHA! Oh My gosh! This is so much fun!” Elise declared as Pinkie took her on a romp around the living room/kitchen area.

Twilight shot Dan an irritated look, “Why’d you do that?” Twilight asked. “She’s supposed to be helping me!”

“And she will,” Dan said, “but we’ve got another issue.”

Twilight let out an exasperated sigh, “What now?”

“I think Pinkie is starting to develop a thing for me,” Dan explained.

Twilight rolled her eyes, “You don’t say?”

“No, you purple twerp, I meant now, even though she’s a pony.”

“Nice to see Dan treats everyone the same regardless of what dimension they came from,” Chris said flatly.

“Oh, so that’s why you let Elise ride her without complaint,” Twilight said.

“Yeah, carrying Elise around the apartment will hopefully get her mind off me and wear her out,” Dan said.

Twilight raised an eyebrow, “You really believe that?”

Dan sighed, “No, no I don’t… but I have to try something! She’s starting to go from cuddly and nuzzley to bitey, and licky, and sniffy… I think she’s told me I ‘smell nice’ more today than every other day she’s been with me combined.”

“Guessing that wasn’t a particularly high number to beat,” Twilight said with a smirk.

Chris chuckled as he hopped off the bed and walked closer to the mirror.

“I WILL USE MY NEW FOUND POWER OF DIMENSIONS TO BRING YOU HERE AND CHEW YOUR HORN OFF!” Dan threatened.

“Do you, in fact, have a ‘new founds power of dimensions?” Twilight asked with genuine inquisitiveness.

“Well… I did…” Dan said.

“Wait, really?!” Chris asked. “When did this happen?!”

“Two days ago and extradimensional beings tried to kidnap Pinkie,” Dan explained.

“Wow…” Chris replied, “…you two actually managed to top yourselves in the weird zone. I’m impressed.”

“It’s related to how Pinkie ended up there in the first place,” Twilight explained.

“Oh?” Chris asked in an interested tone.

Twilight nodded, “Yes, Pinkie was kidnapped from our world. Originally, she was to be sent to some sort of tropical paradise prison dimension.”

“Huh, that doesn’t sound so bad…” Chris mused.

Dan cocked an eyebrow, “Alone… by herself…”

WheeeeeFOREVER!” Pinkie said as she quickly reentered the bedroom.

“BEST-FRIEND-EVER!” Elise cried as she gripped tightly to Pinkie’s mane.

Dan, Chris, and Twilight followed the two women with their eyes as the exited the room again.

“I can see how that would be a problem for Pinkie…” Chris said.

“So anyway… due to some complicated time shenanigans that no one actually cares about…” Dan began.

Twilight rolled her eyes.

“…Pinkie ended up here where I found her and bravely rescued the poor damsel in distress then invited her to stay in the warm comfort of my home…”

“…I think your time with Pinkie has tinted your memories a bit there, Dan,” Chris said.

“It’s close enough!” Dan declared.

“Alright, well this is all good to know, but how’d she get turned back in a pony?” Chris asked.

“That’s what I’d like to know!” Twilight said.

“Wait, Pinkie didn’t explain all this?” Dan asked as he cocked an eye at Twilight.

“NO!” Twilight said angrily. “She just kept on going on and on about how I needed to change her back in between her getting distracted.”

“Well… that does sounds like Pinkie…” Dan mused.

Wheeeee…Twilight don’t lie or I’ll beat you with a crowbar!” Pinkie said.

“Whoa!” Chris uttered. “Where did that come from?!”

Hehehehe…” Elise tittered, “You’re even cute when you threaten people!”

“Ponies!” Pinkie corrected as she exited the room with Elise on her back.

Dan shot Twilight a suspicious look, “Sounds like someone disagrees with your assessment of events…”

Twilight blushed slightly and she chuckled nervously, “Alright, so it was mostly me that got distracted… but Pinkie still didn’t want to give me the details…”

Dan sighed, “Those cloudy things showed up, whisked us away to dreary cloud land…”

“The Nexus,” Twilight said.

Dan nodded, “Right. When we got there, Pinkie had been changed into a pony.”

“Hmmm…” Twilight considered this as she rubbed a hoof against her chin. “The must have not liked that Pinkie had changed from… I can see how they might consider that…erm… disorderly…” Twilight paused, and thought about the last word she uttered. Wait… disorderly…? Could…

“Stop whatever idiotic thought you’re having right now, Sparklers!” Dan demanded. “Are you listening to me tell a story here or what?!”

“I’m listening! I’m listening!” Twilight insisted.

“Dan, do you have to pick on the alicorn?” Chris asked.

“Yes… because she’s stupid… and purple,” Dan replied.

“It’s alright, Chris,” Twilight said with a sigh, “I’m used to it…”

Chris winced, “Yeah, I understand that feeling…”

“…Do you two need some alone time?!” Dan cried. “Do you need a feelings jam to work out all this ridiculous issues you both seem to have? Look, you two can do this later now that you are introduced and Chris apparently has stopped passing out because, hey, somewhere in the endless collection of dimensions, horses can talk...”

“Hey!” Chris protested. “Movies and T.V. have at least suggested some of the other things we’ve dealt with could be real. It’s not like there’s some movie or show with talking ponies that’s entertaining for adults to watch.”

Dan cringed, “Ugh, good thing too… Could you imagine a crazy world where that was a thing? Grown men walking around wearing pony t-shirt and purchasing pony comic books? That’d just be weird.”

“I think we’re losing focus again,” Twilight said.

“Oh…right… where was I?” Dan asked.

“Uhh…” Chris thought for a second, “You just got to The Nexus and Pinkie was a pony.”

“…Wow, you’re good at that,” Twilight said to Chris.

“Years of hanging around Dan,” Chris said proudly.

“…And you’re still sane!?” Twilight cried with a smirk.

“I never said it was easy…” Chris added.

Twilight and Chris shared a giggle.

Dan growled softly, “Grrrrrr… you two are lucky I need you to help with the whole getting Pinkie back to human thing, otherwise I’d just figure out the best way to drown you and be done with it.”

“Wait…” Chris said, “what do you need me for?”

“I may need you to physically restrain Pinkie,” Dan said.

“Why the heck would I need to do that?!” Chris asked.

“I already told you! Pinkie is starting to develop a thing for me!”

“She already had” –Chris air quoted—“’a thing’.”

“Yeah, but it hasn’t gone away since she’s turned to a pony,” Dan added.

“So? She’s still attracted to you. What’s the big deal? I’m sure she can control herself,” Chris reasoned.

“I wouldn’t go putting money on that,” Twilight said.

“Why’s that?” Chris asked as he turned to the purple alicorn.

“Well, it is spring,” Twilight mused.

“And that would mean?” Chris asked.

“Uh, it’s kinda mating season for ponies,” Twilight explained.

Chris winced, “So Pinkie is…”

Twilight nodded, “Probably going to forcefully chew Dan’s clothes off.” Twilight looked at Dan and cocked an eyebrow, “Assuming you have an issue with her being a different species, that is.”

Dan mirrored Twilight expression in the mirror, “You say that like there’s a chance I wouldn’t.”

“Well… I mean… you’re both sapient… and mammals even…”

Chris made a throaty, sickly sound, “I think I’m going to be sick…”

Dan shot Twilight a glare and pointed at Chris with his thumb, “There you go, Too Purple, a normal human reaction to the weird thing you just said.”

Twilight raised her hooves in a shrug and glanced up at the ceiling, “I’m just saying that you’d have a lot less trouble here if you just kept an open mind.”

“…Dan can I be excused to go throw up in your bathroom?” Chris asked.

Dan nodded, “Yes you may.”

“Thanks…” Chris covered his mouth and sprinted out of the room.

Dan turned back to Twilight, “Why is it you’re constantly a gold mine of weird, skeevy advice?” Dan asked in annoyance.

“What?” Twilight protested. “It’s just a natural desire. I don’t see why everyone and everypony has to be so uptight about it.”

“… This is more of your creepy, detached scientific look on everything, isn’t it?”

“I don’t have a creepy, detached scientific look on everything!” Twilight protested.

“How long does flying, orange horse sleep at night?” Dan asked.

“You mean Flash? 7.89 hours a night on average.” Twilight said.

Dan sighed, “I rest my case.”

Wheeeeeeeeeee… Gotta admit, Twilight! Watching other ponies sleep at night is kinda creepy!Pinkie said.

“It’s not creepy!” Twilight protested.

Hehehe… She can watch me sleep anytime!” Elise shouted.

Dan cringed, “Is there some sort of creepy high score thing going on here between you two?”

Twilight sighed and shook her head, “Look, I can help you with Pinkie, just tell me one thing; how were you able to attack The Order Keepers?”

“I punched really hard!” Dan answered.

Twilight shot Dan a glare.

“What do you want from me, Sparkler?! They separated me from Pinkie, it made me angry, and I thought how great it would be to be able to hit them and then suddenly they transformed into these lanky, blue, black, alien things and got a heck of a lot easier to mangle.”

“Wait, you just wished you can hit them?” Twilight asked.

“Yep,” Dan replied with a smile, “I also wished for my bat, a jetpack, and my bank vault door and got all those as well…”

Twilight’s eyes went wide as she thought about this, “…You must have mentally tapped into The Nexus’s magical energies somehow… since it’s a meeting point for all multi-verse ley lines, it makes some sense you could summon items from your world…”

“Yes, I’m amazing… moving on, I’m still working out my feelings on the whole pony girlfriend thing, and would rather like not to be forced to sort out the physical aspects in the next day or two.”

“Well… how would you feel about the whole thing if both of you were a pony?” Twilight asked.

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?!”

Twilight rolled her eyes, “Just answer the question.”

Dan sighed, “Still weird, but uh… less weird I guess. Of course that’s still a dumb idea said by someone who's stupid because then we’d have two ponies we’d need to turn back.” He paused as he noticed the constant exclamations of joy from the living room stopped.

Twilight shook her head, “I’d be able to reverse my own spell rather easily.”

“… Well… I guess that can be plan ‘B’, especially since it sounds like there’s no way Pinkie would be able to restrain herself…” Dan said. He suddenly felt something warm press up against his back as moist, hot air blew against his neck. He glanced behind him to see Pinkie standing up on her back legs with her arms draped over his shoulders and her muzzle inches away from his neck. “Can I help you?!” Dan asked in irritation.

“Oh nothing…” Pinkie said sweetly. “…Sniff, sniff… you smell nice…”

Whew… That was fun!” Elise said as she walked into the room.

“Uh… Elise!” Dan said with a smile, “Why don’t you grab Pinkie’s hair brush and get started on that mane of hers?”

Elise’s face lit up again, “Can I?!”

Pinkie lowered herself back to her hooves, “Of course! I’ll go get it.”

“See if Chris is done being a pansy while you’re at it,” Dan requested.

Pinkie nodded, “Okei-dokei-lokei!”

Dan shot Elise an irritated glance, “Go wait in the living room.”

“But…” Elise protested as she glanced at Twilight.

“How much do you want to hear about the potential interspecies romp Pinkie might force me to have with her?” Dan asked with a raised eyebrow.

Elise’s eyes shot open wide as her pupils shrank slightly, “I’ll uh… just excuse myself…” she said as walked out the room.

“Hi, Chris!” Pinkie said from the bathroom.

“Ulg… Hey, Pinkie,” Chris replied woozily as he stumbled back into the bedroom.

Dan looked back at Twilight, “Alright, so you change me into a pony where upon Pinkie most assuredly has her way with me is plan ‘B’.”

HRUK!” Chris covered his mouth and dove back into the bathroom.

“Hello again, Chris!” Pinkie said cheerfully.

BLRRRUGHGHA!

Dan sighed and shook his head, “Yeah, definitely need something besides Chris for plan ‘A’…”

Huh… It’s a shame he’s married,” Twilight said.

Dan knitted his brow at Twilight, “What are you babbling on about there, Too Purple?”

“Oh… he just reminds me of Fluttershy a bit.”

“… Projectile vomiting into a toilet reminds you of Fluttershy?”

“Lately? Yeah…” Twilight said.

“Why the heck are you trying to play interspecies matchmaker, anyhow?” Dan asked.

Twilight shrugged, “I just thought they’d make a cute couple is all.”

Dan sighed, “As much as I’m entertained by the idea of Chris being married to adorable Fluttershy over evil, harpy Elise, NONE OF THIS HELPS ME WITH ME WITH PINKIE!” Dan yelled.

A slight red hue began to creep onto Twilight’s face, “Well… I know a few spells that will help Pinkie fight her urges… “

“Oh? Some sort of magic heat removal spells?” Dan asked.

“…Sure, let’s go with that,” Twilight said as she glanced to her side. “It’ll only satisfy her for a little bit though… “

“Satisfy?” Dan asked as he cooked an eyebrow.

“Nothing, shut up,” Twilight replied as she waved a hoof about dismissively. “Do you want my help here or not?”

‘BANG!, BANG!, BANG!, BANG!’

Dan and Twilight paused as they listened to the sound of loud banging from within the apartment.

“What the heck is that?” Twilgiht asked.

Dan shook his head, “A distraction.” He refocused his attention on Twilight, “Fine, your magic urges-removal spell will be Plan ‘A’ until we can get Pinkie human again…”

“So… we’re done?” Twilight asked.

Dan nodded. “Elise!” he called out. “Stop hogging the brush and get in here!”

“But I just started!” Elise protested.

“What are you complaining about?!” Dan replied. “You get to talk to a stupid, purple, alicorn princess!”

“Oh! Right!” Elise said excitedly.

Elise quickly sprinted into the room with a giddy expression on her face as Pinkie trotted in behind her.

Ulhg…” Chris uttered as he walked back into the bedroom, “I think that was everything in my stomach…” He glanced at Dan, “Got anything to eat?”

Dan cringed, “Today is the day that keeps on giving…” he muttered. He felt a tug at his shirt and looked down.

Pinkie looked up at him with glassy, sky-blue eyes and a pout on her lips.

“What is it goofball?” Dan asked.

“Can I talk to you alone for a sec?” Pinkie asked in an almost pleading tone.

Dan shot her a confused glance, “Uh… sure…” He looked back up at Chris and Elise, “You guys got this?”

Elise looked from Twilight then back to Dan with a giant grin plastered on her face, “I’m sure I’m good to do science with a magic talking alicorn princess.”

Dan rolled his eyes as he walked towards the bathroom.

Pinkie trotted in after him and closed the door behind her.

“What’s up goofball?”

“Erm…” Pinkie put on a nervous grin, “you know I said we might only have a few weeks or days until I went into heat?”

Dan gulped. Is this going where I think its going? “Uh… yeah?” Dan answered. He glanced at the window behind him, to his great shock and alarm, it was nailed shut.

Pinkie’s expression started to turn a bit crazed as she got a hungry look in her eyes, “Turns out I should have said ‘hours’…”

“I was afraid you say that… maybe you should open the door,” Dan suggested.

Pinkie cocked her head as her eyes widened and her pupils turned into black holes that swallowed her irises. “I’m afraid I can’t do that, Dan…” she uttered.

“And why’s that?” Dan asked.

Pinkie’s mouth suddenly exploded into a giant, beaming smile, “I reversed the doorknob just now, we’re locked in together…”

“WHAT?! You couldn’t even a work a butter knife last night! How the heck did you take a doorknob out and put it back the other way in a couple of minutes?!”

“You’d be amazed what a pony can accomplish when they really want something,” Pinkie replied as her smile hit critical mass. As sudden as the humongous, toothy grin appeared, it disappeared as Pinkie bit her lower lip. “I suggest you find something to hold onto and grab tight,” Pinkie said as her red, veiny eyes opened to their absolute physical limits, “it’s about to get weird.”

Next Chapter: Part 10 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Interspecies Relationship: Chapter 82 Dan Vs. Heat Estimated time remaining: 29 Hours, 42 Minutes
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