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The Wheel and the Butterfly A Dan X Pinkie Pie Saga

by Justice3442

Chapter 59: Part 8 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Ordinary Week: Chapter 50: Dan Vs. Comic Book Store

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The Wheel and the Butterfly



A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga



Part 8 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Ordinary Week



Chapter 50: Dan Vs. Comic Book Store

*****

“You like?” Pinkie asked showing off her new outfit as she exited the apartment bedroom.

Dan looked his girlfriend up and down in a thoughtful manner as he stood in front of the apartment door. She was wearing a pink t-shirt that displayed her cutie mark in between the words ‘PARTY’ in yellow and ‘HARD’ in blue, black shorts held in place by black suspenders that went over her chest and shoulders, matching pink and black striped wristbands and legwarmers, and black and white tennis shoes.

“It’s different..?” Dan offered, not used to seeing Pinkie in any black.

Pinkie smiled. “I’ll take it!” She replied happily.

“Decided there were simply too many clothing stores that hadn’t been burnt down yet?” Dan suggested with a grin.

Pinkie gave Dan a bemused look. “For your information, only one cashier foamed at the mouth and passed out when they figured out I was buying this for myself.”

Dan whistled. “That’s gotta be a new record.” He shook his head. “I’m still not sure why you can’t just stick with one outfit.”

Pinkie’s expression remained unchanged. “First off, it’s fun!” She insisted, holding up an index finger. “Second off, shut up!” She added, pointing at Dan with a wide grin.

Dan chuckled. “Hoisted by my own petard. Ready to go?”

Pinkie bounded over to her boyfriend and reached for his hand, leaning down slightly to plant a not so quick kiss on his lips. “Mwah! Ready!”

Hand in hand, the two exited the apartment.

***

Dan examined another comic and put it into his shopping basket that was already full of various comics and graphic novels. “Find anything, yet?”

“Hmmmm…” Pinkie continued to peruse the shelves and shelves of comics as she held in empty shopping basket in her arm. “Nopers…I can just read what you get.” She suggested.

“Pinkie, what’s the point of having a job if you aren’t going to go out and buy things you are going to look at a few times before they occupy a permanent space in your home?!” Dan asked irritably.

“Well, I can always spend the money I make on my friends and loving boyfriend!” Pinkie suggested, fluttering her eyelids at Dan.

What?” Dan exclaimed. “You have a magic wallet for that sort of feel good nonsense! It’s time you start filling that empty hole in your life with rampant consumer whorism!” He declared, pointing at Pinkie.

Pinkie looked down and lifted her shirt slightly, staring at her stomach. “Is that what that hole is?” Pinkie asked, staring at her belly-button. She gave it a perplexed look. “It’s pretty small, I don’t know how I’d fit an entire comic book into…” She looked up to discover she was now talking to herself. “Dan..? Are we playing surprise hide and seek?”

-

“Unhand me, scoundrel!” Dan demanded of the unknown assailant that dragged him off into another section of the comic book store. He took stock of the stock around him.

“Anime, huh? I knew you filthy connies would come seeking revenge!” Dan wheeled on the person who had hauled him to the aisle and was suddenly staring at a tan skinned woman with brown, chin length hair, wearing a pink midriff top that read ‘NERD’ across the chest , a black pleated skirt, and wedge sandals.

The woman looked at Dan with a disdainful expression and began to open her mouth which Dan quickly put a finger up to. She looked down at the finger with a confused expression.

“No, wait! Don’t tell me…uh…you screwed up my order at Burgerphile so I threw it back at you…” Dan suggested.

“Huh?” The woman replied. “No, it’s…”

“Oh! You’re from the spa that kicked me out when I needed Chris’s help for something, so I added Ghost Chili hot sauce to all their lotions.”

“Wait, whoa, that sounds painfu…”

“I set fire to your car?”

“Uh, no.”

“House?”

“Negative.”

“Boat?”

“I don’t have a boat.”

“…Boathouse?”

The woman sighed. “Maybe you’d recognize me if most my hair was shaved off.”

Dan’s eyes went wide with recognition. “Oh! Becky! Hey! Look, I’m so…”

Becky held up a hand, signifying Dan to stop talking. “Who was that girl, and why did she refer to you as ‘boyfriend’?”

“Uh…I think you just answered your own question, there Einstein.” Dan replied.

Becky paused. “…Okay, granted, but how did you even…”

“I mean,” Dan continued, interrupting Becky, “if I’m her boyfriend, then logically she’s my girlfriend, get it?”

Becky rolled her eyes. “I get it!”

“She’s the girl that does unspeakable things with me behind closed doors, you see…”

“Whoa, T.M.I., dude…”

Dan chuckled. “Ah, who am I kidding? I don’t mind speaking about it. So, Pinkie does this thing with her tongue, oh, and her tongue would put Gene Simmons’s to shame…”

“WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!” Becky exclaimed throwing her hands out in front of her and waving them back in forth to signify ‘Stop!’ “I don’t want to know!” Becky regained her composure and continued aiming laser beam eyes at Dan. “Look, does she know you’re an unhinged creep? Because I can’t in good conscious just let you…”

“FOUND YOU!”

Becky leapt into the air with a startled expression as Pinkie popped up behind her.

Pinkie looked at Becky then to Dan. “Dan! Are you making friends without me?” She asked with a slightly hurt expression. “So unfair!” She declared with a pout.

“Not exactly…” Dan said. “Pinkie, meet Becky. Becky, Pinkie Pie…” Dan said, motioning back and forth between the two women.

“Uh, hi…” Becky said weakly.

Pinkie depleted the air in front of her off oxygen in a large gasp. “Wait…Becky?! Dan, Is this the poor girl whose hair you shaved off to win that Barber, duel?! Oh, Dan you HAVE to apologize! You just have…”

Dan leaned forward to forcefully place an index finger on Pinkie’s lips.

“If you girls would stop berating me…” Dan said, shooting Pinkie and Becky an irritated glance. “I was about to get to it.” Dan looked at Becky. “Hey, I’m sorry about the whole shaving your head thing to get back at your dad. Looking back on it now I think, definitely, maybe, probably there was a better way to go about things.”

Pinkie beamed wide and clutched her hands together under her chin.

Becky gave Dan a somewhat confused expression. “Uh…thanks…I think…wait.” Becky’s eyes narrowed briefly before she opened them wide in shock. “You actually told her about that?!”

Dan shrugged. “I told her everything.”

“It was horritizing!” Pinkie asserted as her eyes went distant and glazed over for a second.

“Uh…” Becky uttered, “…and you still…”

“Wait… “Pinkie interrupted, turning to Dan. “Does traumafying work better than horritizing?”

“Hmmm…” Dan glanced out into space and put a hand up to his mouth, rubbing his index finger against his stubble. “Yes.” He responding. “’Horritizing’ kinda sounds like I drove you into a life of prostitution.”

“Okay!” Pinkie responded cheerfully. “It was traumafying!” Pinkie asserted, repeating her expression from before.

Becky laughed.

Alright, so they’re cute together.

And apparently he came clean with her.

I guess I should cut him some slack.

Becky extended her hand out to Pinkie. “Pinkie, was it?”

Pinkie grinned wide as she took Becky’s hand and shook it vigorously. “It was, is, and always shall be…” Pinkie’s smile dropped. “Unless, I guess it changes somehow…”

Becky chuckled. “Riiiight…is there anything I can help you find? I actually work here.”

“OH!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Well, actually…Oooo! What’s all this! It looks nifty-rifty!”

Dan rolled his eyes and made a disgusted sound.

Becky ignored Dan and smiled at Pinkie. “It’s anime, you know, animated shows from Japan?”

“Oooo!” Pinkie said excitedly. “Neato- torpedo!”

“Anime is for nerds!” Dan declared, sat his basket full of comics down, and folded his arms. “You girls aren’t nerds, are ya?”

Becky glanced down at her shirt, then back to Dan. “Uhh…”

Pinkie gently put a hand on Becky’s shoulder and held up her free palm towards her. “I got this.” She assured. She walked over to Dan and looped her arm over his shoulders, looked him in the eyes with her big, glassy, sky-blue ones, and gently twirled her free index finger over his chest. “Dan? Sweetie?”

“No! No pet names! You only break out pet names when you’re about to tell me something I don’t want to hear!”

Pinkie continued. “Dan? Snukikins?”

“I swear I will throw you out of a closed window if you call me that again!” Dan declared.

“Look, Dan…you and I, well… up until very recently, we spent almost all our free time watching sci-fi, monster, action movies, and T.V. shows then figuring out how we could fit references to them in our conversations. You and I? We’re dorks.”

Dan’s expression turned pained as he slowly shook his head from side to side. “No.” He murmured. “No! That’s not true! That’s impossible!”

Pinkie continued. “Search your feelings. You know it to be true!”

Dan broke free of Pinkie’s grasp. “NOOOOOOOOOOO!” Dan shouted, lifting his hands towards the heavens. “Nooooo! Nooo…” Dan finished, his voice lowering to a whisper as he slumped to his knees and lowered his hands to the ground.

Becky laughed as other store patrons flashed the couple grins and thumbs ups.

“See! That!” Pinkie said pointing to Dan. “That right there. It doesn’t get much dorkier than reenacting dramatic Star Wars scenes in public.”

“But…but I’m too awesome to be a dork!” Dan protested, rising to his feet.

“The two don’t have to be mutually exclusive, you know.” Becky offered.

“Yeah, Dan! You can be the awesomest dork out there!” Pinkie suggested.

“Oh…alright…” Dan mumbled angrily.

“Yay! Hug times!” Pinkie announced as she wrapped her arms around Dan and give him a squeeze.

Dan grumbled irritably as he wrapped his arms around Pinkie.

Dan broke the hug to hold Pinkie at arm’s length. “Alright, but you know I’ve had a bad experience with anime!”

Becky cocked an eyebrow. “Bad experience?”

“Oooo! Oooo!” Pinkie giddily clapped her hands together. “Story time!” She declared.

In a pink flash, Pinkie was gone and back with two chairs. She sat in one and rested her elbows on her thighs, and rested her chin on her cupped hands, looking up at Dan with, big, eager looking eyes.

Becky tentatively sat in the chair Pinkie had just procured and looked at Dan.

“It all started when I was at a convenient store…”

<-o-Several years ago-o->

Ow! Hey! Watch it with that.” Dan rubbed the back of his head and wheeled angrily on the teenager who had just hit him with a large, metal…thing…

“…what is that?!” Dan exclaimed, setting a full slushy on the counter as he pointed at the item which had just hit him.

“Uh, sorry, didn’t mean to whack you with my Keyblade there…”

Dan stood dumbfounded by the site in front of him, a young man in a full length, black, zip-up trench coat, with blonde hair that spiked out in all directions, was holding something that appeared to be a large, weaponized, skeleton key.

Key blade!? Why don’t you just walk around with an axe!?” Dan asked, equal parts rage and confusion. “And what are you even wearing? And what’s up with your hair!” Dan said, bringing his hands up over his own head and waving them about.

“It’s cosplay! Anime con is in town!”

“Anime…con?” Dan looked around the store and noticed there were many more people dressed in impractical looking or otherwise revealing clothing, carrying large weapons, and sporting hair of every conceivable color. Dan glowered at the scene in front of him, pulled out his cell phone, and rapidly dialed a number, placing the phone to his ear.

“Hey, Dan.” A voice answered on the other line.

“Chris! There’s some sort of, strange, previously unknown disease that’s spread through the city and is causing everyone to dress weird and cover themselves with belts and grow cat ears. I need several dozen rolls of saran wrap to cover my apartment from the inside and you to stand outside with a baseball bat to ward off anyone who might attack me with a sword…or one of these blade-key…things…”

“I think you mean Keyblade.”

“I think I meant I didn’t need your input, jerk face!”

“Anyways, I’m kind of busy. Elise dragged me off to the Anime con, she’s really into all this Japanesesee stuff.”

“WHAT?! That vampire of a woman you were foolish enough to invite into your home is indoctrinating you into this twisted cult of hair dyes and giant shoulder pads?!” Dan asked, spying a man wearing boxy, giant, purple shoulder pads and long, lilac colored hair. “Hmmm…the capes are cool, at least…”

“Hey, Dan? I have to go…Elise and I are watching one of these shows, and I thought Cat Soup would actually be about soup and not nearly this confusing…I think…I think…I need to lie down…”

“Chris? Chris! Hang in there, buddy! I won’t let her suck the blood out of you and turn you into one of these strange, spiky haired, headband wearing…geez, these blonde spiky hair dudes sure like the color orange…” Dan said, getting distracted by a teenager wearing a blue headband with a metal plate over his forehead orange and blue coat and orange pants and another cosplayer with even longer, spikier hair wearing an orange vest over a blue shirt and his another pair of orange pants.

Without warning, a man with short, spiky black hair, wearing metal armor over black leather clothing, and holding a gigantic sword that was taller than him turned and smacked the side of Dan’s head with the sword, causing Dan to slam his face into his slushy, splattering red, icy, slush all over his face and clothes.

Dan angrily wiped cold slush from his face, balled his hands into fists, threw his arms into the air, and shouted at the heavens.

“ANIMEEEEEE COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!”

Dan Vs.

Anime Con

Author's Notes:

Pinkie's outfit based off this.

Next Chapter: Part 8 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Ordinary Week: Chapter 51: Dan Vs. Anime Con Estimated time remaining: 36 Hours, 28 Minutes
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