The Wheel and the Butterfly

A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga

Part 6 Pinkie & Dan Vs. Camping

Chapter 39 Chris Vs. Wendigo

****

The hinges on the car door bent and twisted, the window exploded into tiny glass fragments. The Wendigo pulled and soon the door, or what was once the door, was no longer attached to the blue sedan. It tossed the crumbled and warped piece of metal away, and the mass of metal hit a tree with a loud ‘CRUNCH’.

The Wendigo reached its, thin, claw like appendage into the car, expecting to tear into soft, human flesh. Instead, it recoiled and roared in alarm as it felt something sharp clamped down around a finger.

Before it had time to react, a large, brown and blue bulk flung itself from the exposed driver seat and slammed into the Wendigo’s emaciated chest, knocking it to the ground.

With a feral roar, a bear wearing blue, torn and shredded one piece pajamas dug its teeth into the left shoulder of the beast and began raking its claws across the monsters chest, causing lines of shallow lacerations that turned brown fur red with every swipe.

The Wendigo raised both its hands and wrapped several feet long, thin, fingers around the bear’s torso, digging into pajamas, fur, and flesh. In one swift movement, it lifted and flung the bear away from it.

The bear quickly hit the ground and tumbled through the loose snow. It rolled as the Wendigo raised to its full height, towering over the quadruped.

Woozily, the bear stood on its four paws and shook itself, flinging snow in all directions. It roared and charged its towering target, large paws dug into snow and flung it behind it as it hastened into an angry mass of bared teeth and brown fur that shifting and flied as it picked up speed.

The Wendigo leaned its head down, threw its arms back, and thundered at the charging bear with a noise the pierced the night and stopped the bear dead in its tracks, mere inches from the beast’s blood caked face.

Stunned, the bear leaned forward and sunk its teeth into the Wendigo’s nose.

The lanky beast howled in pain as blood gushed from its face, it reared its head back and raked a massive claw against the bears flank.

The bloodied bear snarled and lunged forward, digging both teeth and claws into the thin leg of the Wendigo.

The monster kicked its leg out, shaking the bear loose. It swatted its large hand downwards clocking the bear, hard, against its head.

The bear stumbled as it shook its head. It looked up and attempted to focus its eyes as two large hands descended and sharp claws dug into its fur and skin.

With a frustrated roar, the Wendigo picked the bear off the ground, and threw it towards the tree line.

Once again, the bear went flying. This time a large, unforgiving tree stopped its flight with an audible ‘CRACK’. It slid and slumped into the snow as its eyes began to close.

No.

Not yet.

I have fight. I have to keep everyone safe.

Pain shot through Chris’s body, his left foreleg hung limply from his shoulder. Wearily, he put weight onto his right foreleg and stood up as best he could. He lifted his head and looked on as the blurry mass of the Wendigo approached him. Before he could react, he felt a sharp pain in his side as a talon dug deeply into his muscles. He bellowed in pain and growled softly as a dark maw lined with sharp teeth drew nearer.

‘CLACK’, ‘CLACK’, ‘CLACK’

As soon as the sound of gunfire was heard the monster reeled back as it felt tiny pricks of pain shoot deeply into its back.

‘CLACK’, ‘CLACK’, ‘CLACK’

The Wendigo turned as five figures speed towards it in the darkness. Flashes of light emanated briefly from two slender figured leading the pack as the sound of gunfire rang out and the feeling of pain began to pierce its chest.

“GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HIM!” Elise demanded, coming to a halt.

The Wendigo complied, turning from its downed foe and howling at the approaching group.

“Elise! I need a reload!” Elise Sr. called out.

Elise reached down to her belt and quickly unbuttoned a couple of pouches. She grabbed a small, rectangular clip and tossed it to her mother, and grabbed a slightly longer one for herself.

The Wendigo began closing the distance, large, thin, reptilian feet stomping through snow as the yards between the beast and group quickly dwindled.

Pinkie paused long enough to raise her chainsaw to her face, grip the starter in her teeth, and pull back with her head as she pulled her arms forward. The chainsaw roared to life.

‘BRRRRRRRRRRNNNNnnnnNNNNnnnnNNNnnnn’

“GO, TEAM STUPID!” Dan yelled, thrusting his machete into the sky, he and Pinkie charged the quickly approaching beast.

“Hey, UGLY!” Don called out, throwing a white shuttlecock into the sky. He smirked. “Keep your eye on the birdie.” In a flash of movement he swung his badminton racket and hit the badminton bird towards the beast’s face.

The beast raised its claws, ready to swipe them down on the short man and pink haired girl that were quickly entering its field of reach. It barely had time to glance up as a white blur slammed into its left eye, shooting searing pain as it impacted into the soft optical organ.

As Pinkie approached the beast, she swung her chainsaw up diagonally, carving into flesh as the speedy chain tore into the beast’s lower abdomen.

Painful roars emanated from the beast as Dan ran past Pinkie, and extended a leg out; kicking up snow, and sliding to a halt behind the creature’s legs. He swung his machete backwards and it cut into the Wendigo’s Achilles tendon.

The lumbering beast frantically rubbed its eye, trying to dislodge the foreign object from its socket. A task that quickly became more difficult as more shots rang out and more pain shot through its chest and arm.

Dan ran between the beast’s legs, swinging his machete against the Wendigo’s second Achilles tendon and cutting deeply into the back of its long, thin ankle.

The monster fell backwards onto the road, finding both its legs where no longer suitable for bearing its considerable weight.

“Elise! The canteen!” Dan called out.

Elise reached for the item as it dangled on her belt loop, held in place by a large metal snap hook. She quickly unclasped the hook, grabbed the canteen by the green wrapping and tossed it towards Dan who caught it and turned to the downed beast. He ran to its side and began clambering onto its torso, crawling on his hands and knees over thin, blood-soaked fur.

The Wendigo looked up and stared at Dan with a single glowing eye, the other slammed shut and twitching.

Dan gulped as he inhaled air that smelled reminiscent of a decaying corpse and unscrewed the lid to the canteen.

Really should have thought this one through a little better…

Thin shadows enveloped Dan as the monster’s long, thin fingers ending in jagged, sharp nails quickly descended towards him.

Through the corner of his eye, Dan could see metal catch the light of the moon, and a blur of red and pink.

‘BRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN’

The monster howled in agony as a chainsaw was plunged deep into its chest.

Pinkie gritted her teeth and forced her weight onto the saw as blood and bits of the best flew out of the wound she was busily carving. She felt her chainsaw dig deep then impact something hard.

“DAN!” She shouted, removing her chainsaw. “Pour the canteen into the wound! I think I hit its heart!” She shouted.

Dan dove forward and turned the canteen upside down. White liquid streamed out of it and it steamed as it came into contact with the bone-chilling night air. The Viscous liquid fell into the fresh wound and the beast howled in pain and swung its arms wildly.

The next thing Dan knew, he felt something slam, hard, against his chest. Before he had to time to process this new searing pain in his torso, it was quickly joined by a sharp pain in the back of his head as a tree quickly brought a halt to his unscheduled flight. He slid down the tree into the loose snow below.

“Dan!? Dan!? Are you alright?!” Pinkie asked in a panicked tone.

Dan blearily looked up as a hazy pink and red shape approached him. “Boy, do I feel stupid.” He replied.

Pinkie smiled, set down her chainsaw, and leaned down to embrace her roommate. She quietly whispered, “I thought I lost you there, for a second,” into his ear.

Dan chuckled softly. “Heh, you really thought you’d be rid of me that easily?” He replied as a grin spread across his face and he returned the hug.

Pinkie pulled back just enough to lock eyes with Dan. He stared past the gore and black shiner on her face and quickly found himself lost in the sky of Pinkie’s large, beautiful, blue eyes.

“Never.” Pinkie Pie murmured as the moonlight shined against her blood-spattered face and long pink curls.

Pinkie and Dan closed their eyes as they pursed their lips.

Pinkie tilted her head slightly, leaned in, and…

“RRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

Dan and Pinkie covered their ears and bent their heads down; trying to block the ear shattering noise of the Wendigo, and ending up slamming their foreheads against each other’s.

“OWW!” Dan exclaimed.

“Owie!” Pinkie replied.

The two looked out towards the Wendigo.

Elise, her mother, and her father were likewise covering their ears.

Thick white smoke billowed out of the beast’s mouth and the large hole in its chest, flying up into the lightening sky into a single, massive, dingy cloud. The cloud traveling as a stream deep into the dark wilderness, away from the cabin and group.

As the smoke departed, the body of the beast shrank back down to the form of a laceration covered, blood-soaked, bearded man wearing a pair of equally blood-soaked, tattered trousers; A large, gaping cut was still In his chest at his heart and a white badminton birdie was lodged in his left ocular cavity.

“Looks like we won.” Pinkie announced with a smile. She stood up as she rubbed her forehead. She reached out a hand to help Dan to his feet. Pink nail polish peeking out under the blood on the fingertips.

“I’ll try to contain myself.” Dan replied grumpily. He took Pinkie’s slender hand and stood up, quickly falling against Pinkie for support as he found balance and focusing were currently not his strong suites.

Pinkie wrapped an arm around his torso and began walking with Dan towards the group as he rested an arm over her shoulders. Pinkie reached up to hold the hand now resting on her shoulder to make sure Dan stayed upright.

Pinkie giggled. “You’re heavy.” She stated cheerfully.

“Yeah, yeah…” Dan replied irritably as the two continued walking, Pinkie limping slightly and favoring her uninjured leg.

“CHRIS!” Elise shouting running towards the barely conscious bear in bloody, torn, blue pajamas.

The bear merely grunted in reply as it rested on the ground.

“Is that a bear wearing pajamas?!” Don exclaimed.

Pinkie raised an eyebrow at Don as she and Dan approached. “By Celestia, you’re an idiot.” She stated.

“Oooooo!” Dan exclaimed. “Intelligence insulted by Pinkie Pie!” He stated with a grin. “Should we set up a bed in the burn ward?”

Don shot the two a quick glare, and turned away, crossing his arms.

Elise sat down and picked up the bear’s head, resting it on her lap as she slid her legs under it. She began stroking it. “It’s okay…” She whispered. “We’re safe now.” Tears began to form in her eyes. “Come back to me, sweetie.”

The body of the bear shrank to that of a tall, brown haired man, laying with his stomach on the snow.

Elise reached over and rotated her husband so he was staring up at her from her lap. “Hey, honey.” Chris said weakly. “Is everyone safe?” He asked.

Elise smiled. “Chris,” She began. “You are a stupid, idiotic, goofy, courageous, brave man, and yes. Everyone is safe.” Elise leaned her head down to kiss her husband passionately.

“Awwww…” Pinkie cooed.

“This mushy stuff still churns my stomach!” Dan protested.

“BLECH!” Elise exclaimed as she brought her head back up and began wiping her lips as if trying to get the taste of something out of her mouth.

“Yeaaaah…” Chris began. “I kind of bit into that thing a number of times…” He admitted. “I could really go for some bacon…or anything to get the taste out of my mouth.”

Pinkie giggled. “Chris, may I be the first to say that those are some incredibly manly pajamas you’re wearing.” She stated.

“The bloody battle wounds really highlight your manly features.” Dan added with a smile. “Like…your bloody battle wounds.”

“Thanks guys. But I think I could use some manly bandages and a masculine sling for my broken arm.” Chris replied with a weak smile.

“Is no one going to address the fact that Chris turned into a bear?!” Elise Sr. exclaimed, motioned towards Chris.

Dan turned to her. “What? Chris is one sixteenth Canadian.” He explained.

“Since when does ‘being Canadian’ mean you can transform into a bear?!” Elise Sr. asked in an agitated, confused tone.

“Since, forever?! I don’t know!” Dan responded irritably. “I’m not a Canadatologist!”

“Hey guys.” Chris called out. “Can we talk about this later? I’d sorta like to go inside and warm up…and stop the bleeding.”

“Aww,” Pinkie said. “But it’s such manly bleeding.”

“Alright, already!” Don said with mild irritation in his voice. “I get it. Turning into a bear and fighting a fifteen foot tall monster is really, really manly.”

Elise helped her unsteady husband get to his feet.

Don walked over and extended a hand out to Chris, smiling meekly. “Put it there, son.”

Chris returned the meek smile and extended a hand and collapsed into Don as Elise pushed Chris into her father.

Surprised, Don quickly got a hold of Chris and held him up.

“Hey!” Don and Chris protested.

Elise smiled. “Sorry guys. Dad, can you hold him for me for a little bit?” Elise glanced to Hiram and walked over to the car. She pulled the key from the ignition, and walked around to the trunk, opened it, and pulled out a large, metal cylinder with a handle attacked to its top. “Pinkie, can I borrow your chainsaw?” Elise asked.

“Sure, Elise!” Pinkie replied cheerfully.

“Great! Thanks.” Elise responded.

Soon she was positioned over Hiram, the saw chain positioned over his neck.

“Oooo, watcha doing?” Pinkie enquired.

Elise smirked slyly. “Getting a Halloween decoration.”

*A round of bandages, disinfectant, and boarding up a broken window later.*

“Are you sure you don’t need to go to the hospital?” Elise asked her husband as he stared up at her from her lap.

Chris grinned. “I think I’m happier here…” He replied. “And none of my organs appear to be failing, so that’s good.” He added. The coupled enjoyed the couch to themselves. Chris’s bandaged body sprawled over it.

Elise looked across the room to Dan. “How about you.”

Dan looked over from the loveseat, or specifically, Pinkie’s lap which also occupied the loveseat. “I think I’m good.” He replied, his eyes still a bit unfocused. “I think the room is starting to spin at a much slower pace, now…” He added, as he stroked Mr. Mumbles who was curled up on his chest.

Pinkie looked down at Dan and smiled as she absentmindedly ran her fingers through his hair. “You know, I’m pretty sure this isn’t even the most injuries we’ve gotten in an adventure.”

Chris sighed. “Yeaaaaaah…” He said in agreement.

Dan looked up at Pinkie. “Feel better?” He asked.

Pinkie smiled and shrugged. “I’m settling for no one being dead at the moment.”

Chris raised an eyebrow. “What about Colby?”

“Oh, right.” Pinkie said, blinking a few times. “Make that anyone who matters not being dead.” Pinkie replied.

The cabin door opened and Don and Elise Sr. entered.

“Alright, everyone.” Elise Sr. said enthusiastically. “A tow truck and a rental SUV will be here tomorrow to get everyone on their way.”

“Let’s hope none of the drivers get possessed by that Wendigo spirit…” Dan mumbled.

Pinkie grinned. “Pretty sure the glowing eyes will be a bit of a giveaway.”

Dan smiled. “I’ll need you to punch them if they’re wearing sunglasses.”

Pinkie giggled. “Of course! Safety first.”

“I also have a surprise I brought up from the cellar.” Don added. He went back outside and carried a large barrel into the cabin.

Pinkie gasped and sat up suddenly.

‘THUMP’

“MERROW!”

“Ow!” Dan stated.

Pinkie looked down. “Ooops…sorry Dan.”

“That’s okay.” Dan replied irritably. “This way the front of my head will match the back, and now Mr. Mumbles gets to join the pain club as well…”

“Merrrrooooow…” Mr. Mumbles mewed, forepaws sticking out from under Dan’s stomach.

Pinkie looked up at Don. “Please tell me that’s what I think it is.”

“That depends, do you think it’s a barrel full of home brewed apple cider?” Don asked with a smile.

“YES!” Pinkie said enthusiastically throwing her hands into the air.

Don grinned. “Alright, I’ll get some mugs and we’ll really get this party started.”

Pinkie grinned mischievously. “Hey Don, betcha can’t drink more than me~!” She sang out.

Don looked up at her. “…You’re serious?” He asked in a surprised tone.

“Come on! We can double our bet. Winner takes all!” Pinkie said enthusiastically.

Don chuckled. “Heh, I thought you’d forgotten about that.”

Pinkie shook her head. “No way! You’re not getting off that easily!” She informed.

“Alright, little lady, you’re on!” Don stated with a grin.

Dan and Mr. Mumbles clambered back onto the loveseat and watched with interest as Don lifted the barrel up onto the table and began preparation.

Elise chuckled. “Is this safe?”

Dan turned back to look at Elise. “For whom exactly?”

“Pinkie.” Elise replied. “My dad can really put away the cider.” Elise explained.

“Oh, he can, can he? Fifty bucks on Pinkie.” Dan said smiling.

“Alright, Dan. You’re on.” Elise replied matching the smile.

Dan turned back to Don and Pinkie. Pinkie was eagerly hopping up and down on her good leg as she held an empty mug.

“Honestly,” Dan said, “I’d imagine having the Wendigo in here would be safer than an inebriated Pinkie.”

***

‘BUZZZZZZ’, ‘BUZZZZZZ’, ‘BUZZZZZZ’

A large, blue, bloodshot eye opened to glare angrily at an alarm clock sitting on a nightstand.

A slender hand, with pink nail polish shot out from under a thick comforter, grabbed the alarm clock, and threw it through a closed window.

‘SHATTER’

The alarm clock flew through the sky towards a tree, where it was quickly caught by a squirrel.

“SQUEAK!”

…In the sense that the clock clocked the squirrel in the head and sent it diving towards the snow below.

Pinkie grumbled irritably as the sunlight stabbed into her eyes, compounding the pain of her splitting headache.

“Morning, sleepy head.” Dan sang out from behind her.

“Dan?” Pinkie asked with narrow eyes and an irritated expression on her face. She threw off the covers and looked down.

“Uhh…Where to begin?” Pinkie asked. “Let’s start with your shirt…why am I wearing it?” She enquired.

Dan chuckled. “At one point last night you wanted to switch places with me.”

“Okay, well that also explains why you’re wearing my pajamas.” Pinkie said, examining the pajama clad arms wrapped around her torso. She examined Dan’s nails which had pink nail polish smeared all over them and even onto his skin a bit. “I can’t believe you agreed to this!” She exclaimed.

“Heh, I didn’t.” Dan informed. “You were pretty forceful last night and undressed me, redressed me, and painted my nails against my will.”

“Okay, now that I believe.” Pinkie tugged at Dan’s arms but found the short man was putting up quite some resistance. “Dan, you can let go. We need to get ready before the tow truck arrives.”

“No way.” Dan replied. “I’m beginning to see why you do this. You’re really warm…and, dare I say, snuggly?” He took a big sniff of Pinkie’s hair. “And you smell nice…you know…now that you washed all the Wendigo gore out of your hair.

Pinkie mumbled something unpleasant to herself and sighed. “Hey, who won the bet last night?” She asked.

Dan sniggered, “Check your waistband.”

Pinkie reached down past Dan’s arm and felt around her waist, finding something with her hands, she brought up two crisp $100 bills and smiled to herself. “Wait a minute…” Pinkie uttered as she felt around her waist. “If I’m wearing your boxers, does that mean you’re wearing..?” Pinkie trailed off, afraid she already knew the answer.

“I told you, you were very forceful.”

Pinkie blushed a luminescent shade of red. “Somehow, this is isn’t as funny now that it’s morning.”

Dan let go of Pinkie and quickly positioned himself over the girl straddling her abdomen.

Pinkie looked up and gulped; catching something wild in Dan’s eyes as his smile changed to an evil grin.

“Liar.” Dan said as he shoved his hands underneath the black ‘JERK’ shirt Pinkie was wearing and began frantically moving his fingertips up and down her bare sides.

Mr. Mumbles yawned from her position which had, just a few seconds ago, been against Dan’s back. She trotted to the foot of the bed and jumped off.

“HAHAHAH…DAN! HEHEHEHE…STOP! HEHEHAHAHAH…NO! NOT…HEHEHEHE…THERE!” Pinkie pleaded as she feebly tried to swat Dan’s hands away.

The door to the bedroom flew open and the two looked up to see Elise, wearing nothing but a long sleeved, blue shirt, which went down her thighs about halfway. Elsie smiled from ear to ear. “You two HAVE to see this!”

Dan matched Pinkie in the blush department as he looked over at Elise, his hands till buried in the shirt Pinkie was wearing.

Elise grinned slyly. “Nice clothes, by the way.” She said, slowly closing the door.

Dan and Pinkie synchronized smacking palms against their own faces.

“Shall we go outside?” Dan grumbled.

Pinkie sighed. “Sure, it couldn’t possibly be any more embarrassing than that!” She exclaimed.

“Meow!” Mr. Mumbles added.

Dan glared down at her. “Laugh it up, fuzz ball.”

Pinkie opted to exit the room first, peeking out into the large, cabin living area. She quickly threw the door open and stepped out of the room. “Pffft…Dan! I was wrong!” Pinkie exclaimed as a huge smile grew across her face. “Hehehe…This is waaaay more embarrassing.” She explained as she broke into a fit of giggles.

“What?!” Dan protested as he walked out into the room. His grumpy expression shifted as he looked out into the living area.

Elise Sr. sat in the loveseat wearing loose fitting, red pinstriped pajamas.

However, Dan’s focus was somewhere else entirely. “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Hey guys.” Chris called out, exiting his room in an unshredded pair of blue, footy pajamas and an arm in a sling. “What’s so…Oh, my.” Chris uttered as a smile crept across his face.

Don glared at the other cabin occupants as he stood in front of the couch with crossed arms, wearing nothing but a sleeveless, white, silk nightgown, which went down his thighs about halfway.

“I hate all of you.” He replied.

“Aww, Dad, don’t be like that. It’s a very manly gown you’re wearing.” Elise said before erupting into laughter quickly joined by everyone else.

***

Don closed the hatch to the large silver SUV and brushed his hands against each other.

He turned to Chris and extended his hand. “You’re all set, son, maybe we’ll have you up here again sometime…if Dan agrees to bring his exorcism gear.” Don added with a chuckle.

Chris smiled and took the hand and shook it. “I guess ‘Wendigo spirit roaming the nearby woods’ would hurt property values a bit.

Don released his grip on Chris’s hand. “So…” He paused. “I guess this changes things a bit…” He said trailing off.

Chris narrowed his eyes slightly. “You mean like the first time I saved you two?”

Don thought about this for a moment. “Huh…I guess you’re right.” He responded. “I guess it doesn’t change things…”

Chris pulled back his good arm and balled his fist. “Yeah, I thought as much.”

*

Chris quickly entered the passenger side to the SUV and shut the door behind him.

The other vehicle occupants, still dressed in their cold weather gear, where silent.

Elise finally spoke up. “Chris, did you just punch my dad?”

“Yeah…I suppose I did.” Chris answered blankly, staring out into the white, tree covered expanse in front of him.

Elise grinned. “Chris, you are going to get so many smoochees when I get you alone.”

Pinkie and Dan giggled to themselves from the backseat.

Chris smiled. “A man has to draw the line somewhere.” He said proudly.

*

Don rubbed his jaw as his wife approached him. “If I wasn’t hung over…” He muttered.

Elise Sr. put a hand on her husband’s arm. “Oh Don, let it go. I mean…we did attempt to trap him in a hole and leave him there.”

Don sighed. “Yeah, maybe we over did it this time.”

“Also, I would like to avoid prison.” Elise Sr. stated. “Come on, let’s get out of here before anything else weird happens.”

<*>

Chris turned back to Pinkie who sat in the middle seat, slumped against Dan’s arm and shoulder.

“So,” Chris began with a smile. “What should we sing first?”

Pinkie shot a glare at him. “Chris, my head is killing me. If you sing, I will rip out your vocal cords and feed them to you.”

Chris’s expression turned pensive as he stared forward. “Or quiet. Quiet’s good.”

Dan smiled. “Music to my ears.”

Elise looked out the rearview mirror. She watched as her father rubbed his jaw and shot a glare at the SUV, then as her mother put a hand on his arm. Elise produced a pair of earbuds attached to a small, round, black device with a speaker on the side of it and placed one of the tiny, black speakers into her ear as she watched her parents return to the RV.

“Elise, are you spying on your parents?” Dan asked in a surprised tone as he absentmindedly stroked Mr. Mumbles who had curled up on his lap.

Elise turned around to face Dan. “Don’t tell me you disapprove.” She said with a cocked eyebrow.

“No, it’s just…you have some serious trust issues.” Dan said.

Elise frowned as she turned her eyes in the direction of the ear she had just inserted the earbud into. She unplugged the ear buds, and Elise Sr.’s voice spoke from the small device in Elise’s hand. “…I guess we’ll have to find a replacement for Colby.”

“Yeah,” the voice of Don agreed, “Part bear or not, that goofy idiot has simply got to go!”

Elise looked back to Dan and sighed. “Can you blame me?”

Dan shrugged. “Apparently not.”

“Next time I punch your dad, I think I’ll turn into a bear first.” Chris stated.

“Maybe you can hit my mom, too.” Elise stated, turning back towards the road and starting the SUV. “I think she managed to get through this completely unscathed…”

The sound of the RV starting was heard. Elise continued to watch it in the rearview mirror. Her eyes went wide as thick, black smoke billowed out from underneath it and quickly engulfed it. Elise Sr. and Don quickly exited the RV in a coughing fit.

Elise stopped the RV as the occupants turned to observe the smoking vehicle.

“What the…Chris did you..?” Elise asked, turning to her husband.

Chris shook his head. “Wasn’t me.”

Elise turned to the backseat. “Dan?”

Dan also shook his head. “No, but I kinda wish I had thought of it…”

The smoke slowly changed to a red color, then pink as Pinkie giggled.

Elise smiled at the pink, curly haired girl, turned back to the road, put the SUV into gear, and sped off.

“So, where to?” Elise asked. “I need to drop something off in Havre, then I guess we can go wherever we want.”

“How about a nice lodge, somewhere?” Chris suggested. “He turned in his seat to face Dan. “Or are lodges teaming with serial killers and spirits, as well.”

Dan looked up to the ceiling of the vehicle, pondering this then looked back. “No…maybe the occasional murder mystery caused by an irate staff member or guest with an agenda, but it should be much lighter on the indiscriminate killing.”

Elise nodded. “Alright…let’s head west, that way we can spend as little time in Idaho as possible on the trip home.”

“Sounds good to me!” Pinkie responded.

Chris switched his focus to the pink haired girl. “I’m surprised you don’t want revenge.” He stated.

Pinkie paused, then reached a hand into Dan’s jean pocket, pulling out a notepad and flipping it towards the back. She lifted up a page for Chris to see.

The page read IDAHO in large, pink, glittery letters, surrounded by the word ‘die’ over and over again complete with the ‘i’s dotted with hearts and an angry looking, pink pony with long, straight hair. Pinkie wrapped her arms around Dan’s arm and smiled. “Idaho will get his…erm…its…” She paused. “After I finally get to relax.” She added.

Dan turned and smiled at the girl whose head was resting against his shoulder. “It’s a date.”

Pinkie smiled warmly back at him.

Chris looked at Elise who simply shrugged with a smile. Chris matched the smile and shrug, and simply shook his head.

***

Pinkie stared out a large window, resting her hands on the windowsill and leaning her head against them. She sighed contently and smiled as she looked into the orange and purple twilight covered creak, tree line, and mountains past that.

“Feeling better?”

Pinkie turned as Dan approached the long sleeved, red and white striped shirt and jeans clad girl. “Much.” She answered as Dan joined her, placing his hands on the windowsill and looking out into the peaceful peaks outside.

Pinkie reached a hand over and covered one of Dan’s with her own. “Thanks for having another adventure with me.” She murmured.

Dan looked back at her. “Anytime.”

Dan and Pinkie stared deeply into each other’s eyes. Slowly, they closed the distance between their faces, tilting their heads slightly as their eyes shut, their lips pursed, and…

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“OH, COME ON!” Pinkie shouted looking up to the sky and turning her hands up in frustration.

Dan sighed and rested his cheek against his hand, leaning against the windowsill with his elbow. “Here we go, again…”

A feminine sounding voice rang out from somewhere in the lodge. “The Concierge has been…”

“…MURDERED!”

Pinkie buried her face into her palms and began grumbling obscenities into them.

“I told you you were tempting fate when you picked up those Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson outfits!” Dan said in a chastising tone.

Pinkie looked up, but continued to hold her hands up in a frustrated manner “But they fit so well!” Pinkie protested.

Dan sighed once more and turned, walking down a long hallway. “Come on, Pinkie. Let’s save everyone from their own idiocy…again.”

Pinkie turned angrily and pointed at…

…Uhhhh…

“You! Yes, YOU. The beard with an idiot hanging off of it.” Pinkie said angrily.

Heh, Black Books reference, that’s digging deep.

“Shut up!” Pinkie demanded. “I swear, if you keep this up, it’s not the shippers you’ll have to worry about. It’ll be me!”

And what exactly do you think you can do to me?

“I will haunt your dreams and I will give you just the absolutely, most terrible, worse in the history of eternity, baked bads based nightmares that have, will, and EVER existed in the history of forever! DO YOU HEAR ME!? I WILL TORMENT YOUR SUBCONSCIOUSNESS EVERY SECOND YOU’RE ASLEEP, AND EVERY SECOND YOU’RE AWAKE YOU WILL LIVE IN MORTAL FEAR OF EVERY CUPCAKE, CAKE, OR MUFFIN YOU COME ACROSS! I’LL MAKE CUPCAKES LOOK LIKE A RATED ‘E’ SLICE OF LIFE FIC BY THE TIME I’M DONE WITH YOU! SAVVY?!”

Alright, already. Geeez…Just…just hold tight for the next part. I swear I’m going somewhere with all this.

Pinkie raised an eyebrow. “Pinkie Pie promise?”

Cross my heart, and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.

Pinkie smiled and nodded. “Good.”

“Pinkie?” Dan called out. “Are you coming or not?!”

“Coming~!” She sang out. Pinkie skipped merrily down the hall.

“Uh…what was all the screaming about?” Dan asked.

Pinkie quickly wrapped her arms around one of Dan’s as they walked. “Just getting a point across to the powers that be.”

Dan shook his head. “You are so weird.” He replied.

Pinkie cocked her head slightly. “Said the man who was going to dress up as Dr. Watson to help his roommate solve a crime.” Pinkie responded cheerily.

“Well it’s not like I can just go around solving crimes without looking the part!” Dan replied.

Pinkie giggled. “Another adventure, huh?”

“It never ends, does it?” Dan sighed out.

Pinkie smiled. “That’s fine.” She said simply, tightening her grip on Dan’s arm.

I’ll go on an endless stream of silly and dangerous adventures…

…Just so long as I’m with you.