The Wheel and the Butterfly

A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga

Part 3 Pinkie Vs. Daily Life

Chapter 17 Dan Vs. Friendship (is Magic)

Spoiler Alert: I start referencing events from the IDW comics at some point this chapter (the first 8 issues, that is).

Not sure if this is a big deal to anyone, but skip over the section marked IDW if you want to read the comics and be surprised, still.

Pinkie sat cross-legged on her side of Fort Dan Pie, decked out in a white button-up shirt, black vest, cutoff jean shorts, rainbow colored leg warmers, and a random assortment of bracelets.

She still had been unable to turn on her computer or phone. The two devices were set in front of her. In her hands, she held her compact mirror.

Twilight had gathered her other friends, hoping she could finally coax a response from the device's, and also hoping the devices would reveal clues as to what happened on that fateful day when Pinkie Pie got sent to another world.

“Twilight, I’m not really sure this is a good idea…” Applejack said.

“Trust me!” Twilight insisted. “After examining the devices in great detail…”

“Too great if you ask me…” Spike commented.

Twilight quickly fixed the baby dragon with a stare, then continued, “…I realized what was missing was energy.”

“Yeah, but…shootin’ it at the mechanical-doohickeys?” Applejack countered with a cocked eyebrow. “None of that sounds right…or safe, even.”

“I trust you, Twilight,” Pinkie responded with a smile.

“Me too!” Rainbow Dash chimed in enthusiastically. “If anyone can figure this out, it’s Princess Egghead.” She added with a grin.

Rarity also voiced her concerns. “Twilight, are you really sure this won’t hurt the devices?”

Fluttershy said nothing and stood a bit back from the group, not comfortable with the idea of firing energy across dimensions.

“Well, I determined both devices have many similarities. And a big similarity between them is how they’re powered. Both contain a plastic rectangular piece that takes up a sizable fraction of the devices total size and mass.”

Pinkie’s smile dropped and her eyes went wide, staring off into space.

She’s doing it again!

“By examining these rectangular pieces, I determined that, inside the plastic, they’re both an advanced type of battery that stores power which supplies all the device's myriad functions! Both audio, visual, and even allowing the devices to receive inputs via different stimuli!”

Why?!

“Another commonality between the pieces, is both of them currently have no energy. Clearly these devices can’t function without energy! So by giving them a jolt directed towards the batteries..”

Make it stop!

“…I think that should store enough energy that…energy that…”

Twilight had stopped talking.

Finally!

“Uh, Pinkie?” Rainbow Dash said with a of a forehoof, trying to get her friend’s attention.

Pinkie looked back at the mirror and noticed her friends were no longer looking at her, but a space a few feet above her. She followed their eyes until she locked her own against Dan’s.

Pinkie quickly closed the mirror and attempted to hide it behind her back. “Hiiii, Dan…” Pinkie said nervously. “Didn’t hear you come in…or lift the ceiling off the fort…”

Dan’s eyes narrowed and he motioned to the item behind her back. “Is that how you talk to your pony friends back home?”

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…” Pinkie uttered nervously as she lokked from side to side.

Think of something convincing to say…

“… Yeah...,” Pinkie admitted.

Dangit!

Dan dramatically extended his hand. “GIVE THEM TO ME!” he demanded. “So that I may pass judgment on them!”

Pinkie sighed heavily and handed over the closed compact mirror.

Well, it was bound to happen eventually... still. It would have been nice for it to be…any situation but this.

Poor Fluttershy…

Dan opened the mirror and looked over his six victims.

His victims warily eyed him back, not sure what to expect.

Dan wasted no time. “Too purple…”

Twilight furrowed her brow.

“Too kindergarten art project…”

“Hey!” Rainbow Dash protested.

“Too prissy…”

Rarity made a quiet “Humph!” and lifted her muzzle into the air in disapproval.

“A cowboy pony? Seriously?”

“Now listen here, pardner--!” Applejack began.

Dan interrupted her, “I don’t even know what the heck that’s supposed to be!” Dan said pointing at Spike.

“Aw, man...” Spike said as he hung his head.

Dan spotted the quivering mass of yellow and pink: Fluttershy desperately trying to make herself as small as possible.

“Too…”

Fluttershy looked up, with big, scared eyes, fearing the worse.

“Too…” Dan locked eyes with her and his mouth hung open as his pupils went wide. “…perfect,” he finished.

Fluttershy’s look of terror slowly shifted to a soft smile.

Everypony else’s offended look shifted towards surprise, Pinkie’s as well.

“Well…Dan,” Twilight began, “this has been…interesting…but if you’ll excuse us we have science to do and…”

Dan looked at Pinkie. “Having trouble?” He asked as he motioned out towards the phone and computer.

“Twilight thinks if she fires energy at them, we can finally turn them on,” Pinkie explained.

Dan looked back at the purple alicorn in surprise. “You’re going to shoot lightning at them?!”

“Well…just a little…” Twilight admitted sheepishly.

“You’re not very bright, are you Twilight?” Dan said flatly.

Everypony/one else put on shocked expressions. Twilight had been called many things in her life, but having her intelligence called into question had never happened to her before.

Dan pointed at Pinkie’s pink laptop bag and motioned with his head for his roommate to fetch it for him.

Pinkie wordlessly obeyed and held the bag up for him.

Dan held the mirror in one hand, and rummaged through the bag with the other; Pinkie continuing to hold the bag up for him. He pulled out a bunch of noise makers, balloons, and streamers. “More party supplies?”

Pinkie managed a weak smile. “Those are my emergency party supplies.”

Dan raised an eyebrow. “I thought those were in your pockets?”

“Those are my backup emergency party supplies,” Pinkie corrected.

Dan sighed and dug deeper, fishing out a few black cords attached to small rectangular objects with metal prongs sticking out.

He held the cords up for the ponies (and dragon) on the other side of the mirror to see. “Did you think about plugging them in?”

“Oops…” Pinkie muttered. “…I forgot about those…”

Twilight flushed with embarrassment and put on a nervous grin. Of course Dan would know how to use the devices! They’re from his world!

“Besides,” Dan continued, “if you needed to give them power, why wouldn’t you just take the batteries out first and just shoot those?” Dan asked.

Twilight smacked a hoof against her face as Rainbow Dash snickered to herself.

Dan motioned for Pinkie to hand him the two devices. Pinkie set the bag down and obediently complied, taking the mirror as Dan handed it to her.

Dan replaced the roof of the fort and walked off.

“Sorry Twilight! I completely forgot those were in there,” Pinkie said apologetically.

“It’s okay Pinkie. It looks like it worked out anyways…Besides,” Twilight said, still with an embarrassed smile, “this is probably safer.”

Dan crawled into the fort, holding the computer, a black cord attached to it. “Your phone is charging,” he explained.

He handed the computer to Pinkie who handed him back the mirror.

Eagerly, Pinkie opened the laptop and pushed the power button.

“Hey Dan…” Twilight called out.

Dan looked down at the mirror.

“Thank you,” Twilight said earnestly.

Dan merely shrugged.

Pinkie made an excited “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” before her face shifted to a more neutral look. “Oh a…password.”

“A password?” Twilight asked. “Let us see.”

Dan held a finger up and waved it back and forth. “Not now, purple horse. The people are working,” he said with a mischievous grin.

Twilight let out an exasperated sigh. How does Pinkie put up with this guy?

Spike seemed to be on the same wavelength. “Can you believe this guy?” he asked no one in particular.

Pinkie looked at her screen, a pink cloud with brown rain falling down from it. Next to the picture read “ChAoS”.

“Hmmm…” Pinkie thought for a minute and began typing.

“Ulg,” Dan uttered, dragging his hand over half his face. “You type like you’ve only had fingers for a few weeks.” Dan said irritably.

“I’ve only had fingers for a few weeks!” Pinkie countered with narrowed eyes.

“Oh…right. Here…” Dan set down the mirror on the mattress.

“Hey!” Twilight said, the view on the mirror shifting from Dan to a random assortment of pillows.

Dan sat down next to Pinkie, “Whisper to me what you were failing to type.”

Pinkie whispered into Dan’s ear and he slowly typed 'ChOcOlAtE rAiN'. He hit enter and the computer’s screen shifted to a picture of a couple of daisies against a blue background.

Dan picked up the mirror and faced it towards the screen. “See, ‘Too purple’? The people got it covered.”

Twilight ignored the comment, simply happy for the progress. “Great, now let’s try to find some clues!”

Pinkie stroked her chin, thinking about the picture and password. “Clues, eh…well…”

Dan placed a hand on his roommate's face and pushed her out of the way. “Clues, shmues. Let’s fire up the internet on this baby.” Dan said grinning, putting down the mirror and rubbing his palms together.

“Oh! Good thinking Dan. I could never quite figure that out when I went to a world with humans,” Twilight said excitedly.

“Uh…inter-nest?” Applejack asked.

“No, internet. Humans have collected all their knowledge onto the internet and they use computers to access it. Maybe there’s some information we can find there to help Pinkie.” Twilight said in a very enthusiastic tone.

“Oh, there’s information, all right.” Dan said, moving his finger on the touchpad and clicking a few things. “Hmmmm…”

Pinkie picked herself up and looked at the screen. “Another password?”

Dan sighed, “Pinkie, you’re still going to end up a statistic here if I have to explain every little thing to you!”

Pinkie’s expression changed to a pout.

“Our landlord has the Wi-Fi password, wait here, I’ll…”

Pinkie sat up resolutely, accidentally nudging Dan’s makeshift coffee table that served as part of the fort wall on the way up. The two paused as the pillow walls around them vibrated slightly before settling.

Pinkie looked at Dan, determination having set root on her face. “No, Dan. I’ll get it!” Pinkie said, motioning to herself with her thumb. “You’re right! If I can’t figure any of this out on my own, I’ll never get anywhere!” Pinkie’s pupils dilated, then quickly retracted into pin-prick sized dots. “And then I’ll end up in Tijuana, naked in a bathtub of ice with a missing kidney!”

“Hey!” Twilight called out. “Just what have you been teaching her about your world, anyhow?!” she demanded.

Dan place a hand on his roommate's shoulder. “Very good, my young Padawan, you’re coming along nicely.”

“Aren’t I?” Pinkie said flashing a toothy smile. She quickly crawled out from under the fort.

Dan grinned evilly and picked up the mirror, once again looking over his victims.

The ponies looked back, expressions ranging from concerned, irritated, and one surprisingly hopeful.

“Oh dear…” Twilight uttered.

“…It’s very interesting to examine another culture that developed in the absence of widespread magic,” Twilight said.

“Uh-huh.” Dan replied in a bored tone.

“Not to mention a third of the population here flies. It’s easy to see why humans would construct many of the devices they have! You’ve all have had so much to overcome!”

“Uh-huh.”

“Humans can’t control the weather, can they? It’s simply remarkable that you’ve all become the dominant species on your planet. We ponies have many natural advantages! So much, in fact, that many of the species in Equestria depend on us for their very survival!

“Uh-huh.”

“Oh, but your technology is simply amazing! Even without magic, your species has constructed such marvels! Who would have thought that combining aluminum, silicon, iron, nickel, gold…”

“NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!” Dan yelled at the mirror.

“Wait, what?” Twilight asked, her train of thought thoroughly derailed.

“Hey, Twilight.” Rainbow Dash called from the side. “Tag up!”

“Tag up?” Twilight responded in a confused tone.

“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash said with a determined grin, holding a hoof out. “Let me handle this jerk! I’ve got a bone to pick with him!”

Dan chuckled. “Let her in the ring, Sparkler. I can use a good laugh,” he said as he clenched a fist to crack his knuckles.

Twilight skeptically looked back and forth between Dan and Rainbow Dash, then tapped the blue pegasus’s hoof. “I hope you know what you’re doing…”

Rainbow Dash positioned herself in front of the mirror. “Alright, Dan! Let’s make one thing perfectly clear! If you hurt Pinkie in anyway, we’ll turn your world into a world of hurt!”

Dan stifled a yawn, “Nice one, though I think you’re someone--”

“Pony!” Rainbow Dash corrected.

“--someone who would benefit from a thesaurus. Besides, it’s not like you can do anything through that mirror,” Dan added smugly.

“Twilight can fire lightning through it,” Dash responded in a smugger tone.

Dan pondered this new thought. “Touché. Not that it matters, of course.” Dan closed his eyes and motioned a hand towards himself, “I’ve been a perfect gentleman to the lady.”

“Like the time you burned her photo album in front of her?” Dash countered.

Dan winced. He wasn’t aware Pinkie had told her friends that much, but then again, they were her best friends…

“I made her a new one!” he insisted as he flung out his free hand.

Rainbow Dash smiled, Dan having walked right into her trap. “Yeah, I saw it. Did you practice at being that girly, or did it come naturally?”

Dan smirked. “Tough talk for a walking nursery school art project.”

Rainbow Dash frowned and narrowed her eyes somewhat. “Hey! I’m the awesomest looking pony in Equestria, ask anypony!”

“Any pony between the ages of 3 and 11, you mean?” Dan said as his devilish smile widened.

Rainbow Dash considered the average age of the members of her fan-club for a second. “Well I…That is…”

“Awww, come on, Skittles! You were doing so well!” Dan said, his smile continuing to widen.

Rainbow Dash’s face contorted to one of anger and confusion. Alright, I may not know what 'Skittles' are, but I know when somepony is being a jerk to me! “Why, I oughta…”

“Whatcha two talking about?” Pinkie asked as she crawled back into the fort.

“I was just telling your friend that she’s a real work of art,” Dan answered, smile still plastered on his face.

A frustrated sounding “GHA!” escaped from Rainbow Dash.

“Awww,” Pinkie began as she looked at the mirror, “I told you he could be sweet!”

“Sweet is not the word I’d use!”

“Oooo! How about lovable? Or adorable?! Charming? Delightful...?”

“See ‘Art Project’? Thesaurus.” Dan said, motioning towards Pinkie with his free hand.

“Aww, he even has a cute nickname for you and everything!” Pinkie observed.

Rainbow Dash held her hooves up in an expression of wanting to strangle someone as she made angry gurgling sounds.

“Tag up, partner.” Applejack called from the side, holding an orange hoof out.

Rainbow Dash sighed, hung her head, and gave Applejack’s hoof a tap.

**

Applejack stared intently into the abyss. The abyss, in this case, being Dan, who was indeed staring back.
…
…
The two continued their epic stare down.
…
…
Staring intensifies.
…
…
Staring intensifies.
…
…
STARING INTENSIFIES
…
…

Blink

“Ha!” Dan said triumphantly. “Five times in a row!”

Applejack scrunched her face to the side as she frowned. “Best six out of eleven.”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware you were a sadomasochist,” Dan responded.

Applejack narrowed her eyes. "An' just what in tarnation makes you think I enjoy pain?"

Dan chuckled as his eyes widened in surprise slightly. "Heh, cowboy horse knows her vocab. Still, you must be enjoying this savage beating I’m giving you, you keep on coming back for more!”

Applejack made a small “Grrrrrr”, sighed, and looked to her side. “Tag up.”

“Me! Why me?” Rarity asked as Applejack walked out of site of the mirror.

“’Cause it’s your turn.” Applejack said simply, using her head to push the white unicorn into view of the mirror.

“But, well, just look at him! We have nothing in common!”

“Well, they wear clothes over there.” Applejack said. “Just talk about fashion or somethin’.”

Rarity made a disgusted sound as she remembered Dan’s ensemble was little more than jeans and a t-shirt.

“Yeah, prissy. Let’s talk about how pointless it is to make clothes for horses,” Dan said.

“Oh.”
“It…”

“is…”

“ON!”

Pinkie looked up from the computer. “Come on guys, I’m sure you two will get along if you just give each other a chance.” She put on her best puppy-dog face and big smile, “Pleeeeeease?”

Dan and Rarity both sighed out an, “Alright…”

*But then…*

“I can’t believe that black rag you wear passes as fashion,” Rarity said

“At least it makes sense that we wear clothes! You all have hair covered bodies, and can control the weather! How can” – Dan air quoted with his free hand — “‘making clothes’ even be a real job over there?!” demanded Dan.

Rarity turned her nose up. “Well someponies simply want to look nice. Why, a well-made suit, a dress, or a fashionable saddle can…”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa…whoa! You hay brained horses make saddles?! Why?!”

“Well, they’re fashionable, of course!”

“No!” Dan declared, holding up a resolute index finger. “I’m putting my foot down on this one! You put a saddle on something you’re going to ride!.. You all don’t…ride each other, do you?” Dan asked with a raised eyebrow.

“What? No! Don’t be absurd!”

“I ride them, sometimes…” Spike said from the side.

Rarity shushed him. “Shhhh... Spike, you’re not helping.”

“Oops, sorry.” Spike replied.

*And then…*

“What did you say about my hair?!” Rarity demanded, her voice firing off into the highest of octaves.

Dan leveled a finger at Rarity. “So you’re telling me, you didn’t get it stuck in an egg beater?”

“I most certainly did not! Hair this magnificent takes time!”

“…Maybe it would go faster if you tried the egg beater…” Suggested Dan, shrugging slightly and glancing to the side.

Rarity glared at the mirror with a puffy red face. “At least my hair doesn’t look like it was sabotaged by an irate barber!”

Dan frowned. “Hey! My hair was sabotaged by an irate barber!”

“Oh…well…I guess it looks…tolerable, if you consider that,” Rarity replied.

“Dan,” Pinkie interrupted, “You told me that happened ages ago.”

Rarity chuckled to herself.

“Pinkie! You’re not helping!” Dan said through clenched teeth.

“Oops, sorry.” Pinkie replied, “…Wait…WHY am I helping you insult my friends?” Pinkie asked was she raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not insulting her!” Dan insisted. “I’m offering constructive criticism on her horrible life choices and terrible hair,” Dan said informatively.

“Hmmmm…quite,” Rarity responded. “Just like if I explained to Dan that his teeth are a simply a ghastly shade of yellow,” Rarity said.

“Hey!” Dan said angrily.

“You could stand to brush more often,” Pinkie offered. “…Or at all…”

Dan furrowed his brow angrily. “Well…Prissy’s hair looks like she thinks springs are in fashion.” Dan said, angrily motioning to the white unicorn in the mirror.

“Hmph!” Rarity said, sticking her muzzle up in disapproval for about the dozenth time that day.

“Rarity, your hair and tail does sort of look like purple springs,” Pinkie said.

“Just whose side are you on, anyway?” Rarity demanded, her voice going shrill again.

Pinkie widened her eyes in a 'Who me?' expression as she pointed to herself. “Side! I’m not on anyone’s side.”

“Ha!” Dan cried triumphantly. “You said ‘anyone!’, you could have said, ‘anypony’!”

“Yes, but she said ‘not on anyone’s side’,” Rarity disputed.

Pinkie buried her head in both palms.

Trying to figure out this computer is frustrating enough, but these two are giving me a headache!

“Tag up, please!”

Rarity followed the voice to a yellow pegasus holding out a forehoof. Rarity eyed Fluttershy with concern. “Are you sure? You don’t have to speak to this ruffian.”

“Purple springed Prude!” Dan called out.

“Why you uncouth…uncivilized…beast of a…”

Fluttershy waved her hoof about, trying to regain Rarity’s attention.

Rarity breathed a calming sigh, “Oh, very well.” She tapped Fluttershy’s hoof. “Don’t let him get to you, Fluttershy!” Rarity whispered resolutely, “We’re here to back you up if you need it.”

“Aaah, he just needs to be shown a little kindness, is all.” Fluttershy insisted.

“More like a muzzle…” Rarity muttered, walking away.

“Hey Shutterfly.” Dan said, his voice immediately mellowing out to a kinder tone.

Fluttershy nodded slightly, “Fluttershy.” She corrected.

“Oh. Sorry.” Dan said.

Pinkie looked back up.

Did…

Did Dan just apologize?!

And MEAN it?!

“What’s wrong, Dan?” Fluttershy began. “Having trouble making friends?”

Dan pouted and looked to the side. “I don’t need any friends.”

“Now, Dan,” Fluttershy continued, “I’m sure if you gave everypony a chance, you’ll have lots of new friends in no time.”

“No!” Dan insisted, “I don’t want to be their friends, they’re all too bright looking, and weird!”

“Dan,” Fluttershy said with a warm smile, “now you know you look pretty strange to them, as well…”

Dan looked down at himself and waved his free hand in front of his eyes. “Yeah, I guess…” he admitted quietly

“And Pinkie dresses in bright clothing, and you’re still her friend, right?” Fluttershy said hopefully.

Pinkie glanced up.

Dan met her sky-blue eyes with his green-emerald ones. “…Yeah, she’s alright…” Dan offered weakly.

Pinkie beamed.

“Ohmygosh!” Rainbow Dash said to her friends. “Are they actually getting along?!” she exclaimed in disbelief.

“It’s gotta be a trap, y’all see!” Applejack said, her face displaying her suspicion.

“I don’t know, girls,” Twilight said. “Maybe Fluttershy has the right approach…she did singlehandedly reform a chaos god…mostly…”

“Hmph,” Rarity interjected. “I give it five minutes before that barbarian is screaming at her.”

*But then…*

“…I just think you need to open your heart more. Let more ponies…I mean, people inside,” Fluttershy said.

“Right, so more people know my weaknesses!” Dan said in sullen tone.

“Well, yes. Trusting people means letting them closer to you, but I think if you give more people a chance, you’ll find the rewards outweigh the risks,” Fluttershy said kindly.

Dan looked back at Fluttershy with concern. “Are you ever afraid you trust some people…I mean, ponies too much?”

“…um…er…” Fluttershy nervously looked from side to side. “…well…sometimes,” Fluttershy admitted softly.

“Do…do you want to talk about it?” Dan asked.

*And then…*

“I’m telling you, that’s exactly how an abusive relationship works,” Dan countered.

“Oh no!” Fluttershy insisted. “He’s just a little rough around the edges. I know if I keep showing him kindness, he’ll…”

“I don’t want to hear it!” Dan asserted with wide eyes. “He’s clearly taking advantage of your giving nature at this point! You need to put your foot down around this guy!” He said as he pointed an assertive finger at Fluttershy.

“Oh no! I can’t do that!” Fluttershy said, taken aback. “If he feels threatened, he hides and stops eating. He requires a delicate…”

“Delicate!? Listen to yourself, these are all textbook strategies an abuser does to keep someone in a toxic relationship,” Dan explained. “If you don’t stand up for yourself, you’re going to be trapped in an abusive and unfulfilling relationship with this guy forever!”

“Well erm…ummm…yeah…you’re probably right…” Fluttershy said meekly. Something to the side quickly caught her eye. “What…but we…sigh…oh, alright…Bye Dan. I really enjoyed talking to you,” Fluttershy said with a weak smile.

“Yeah, me too.” Dan said as he mirrored the smile.

Fluttershy walked off and was quickly replaced with a small, white bunny who glared at Dan. Angel lifted a paw and flicked it under his chin a few times in Dan’s direction.

Dan shared a digit with the little bunny. “Right here, buddy,” he responded.

“ANGEL! I SAW THAT!”

Angel looked to the side, and began frantically pointing at Dan.

“I don’t care what he did!” Fluttershy angrily trotted back into view, and grabbed Angel’s tail in her mouth. She dragged him off to the side as Angel desperately tried to snatch at the stone floor. “I know a nauwghty little buwnny whose spending the nex few houwrs in his twawveling case.” Fluttershy responded through teeth clenched around fur.

Angel began frantically squeaking, and even cried a bit.

“Fwine, don’t eat. We’ll jusf see how long that lasts…” Fluttershy dragged the bunny out of sight.

The other four ponies walked into view.

Dan glared at them. “What?” he asked gruffly.

To Dan’s surprise, the four began clapping their hooves together.

Pinkie, likewise, clapped her hands with a smile.

“Uhh…thanks,” Dan said, rubbing the back of his head.

Twilight smiled and looked to the side. “Spike? You’re up.”

“Do I have to?” Spike whined.

“Spike, give him a chance,” Twilight insisted.

Spike walked over with a reluctant sounding “Oh, all right…”

The other four mares walked off again.

Dan looked over Spike quizzically. “So, are you some sort of lizard-person second class citizen?” he asked.

“I’ll have you know that I’m a fire-breathing dragon!” Spike stated.

Dan perked up. “Fire breathing? Show me.”

Spike narrowed his eyes, pointed his face upwards, and blew a sizeable stream of green flames into the air.

Dan paused. “…THAT IS AWESOME!”

Spike looked back at Dan with a grin.

“Sorry…Spike, was it? I think we got off on the wrong foot…hoof.”

“I have feet!” Spike declared.

“See! We’re not so different. We both have feet…we both like fire.”

Spike chuckle., “So…Dan! I hear you’re taking care of our girl Pinkie over there.”

“Yeah, she’d be pretty lost without me.” Dan said as he absentmindedly examined his free hand.

Pinkie shot Dan an irritated glance. Okay, that’s true! But he doesn’t have to be so…brutally honest about it!

“Well, on behalf of Equestria, I just want to say just how much we appreciate it.”

Dan waved a dismissive hand. “Yeah, yeah…enough about stupid, colorful horse world. Tell me about Spike. It’s gotta be great being able to set things on fire whenever you want.”

“Heh, yeah it is pretty great.” Spike’s expression went serious, “But sometimes I sent things on fire I don’t mean to…”

“So do I!” Dan said as he excitedly motioned to himself. “We’re like…accidental arson bros.”

“Accidental arson bros? I like it!” Spike made a fist and put it up to the mirror. “Put it there, bro!”

Dan smiled knowingly and touched his side with his index finger.

“Alright, tag up!” Twilight called out.

Spike turned to her with a. “Huh? But you said ‘give him a chance’, Twilight.”

“Well now I’m saying ‘tag up’!”

Spike sighed and lowered his head. “Alright…” He looked back up at Dan. “Catch you later, accidental arson bro!” he said as he waved at the mirror.

Dan waved as Twilight walked back into view.

Twilight motioned to her eyes with a hoof, and sternly pointed the same hoof back at Dan.

“What! I was being friendly!” Dan insisted.

“Finding companionship in accidental fiery property damage is not what I had in mind!” Twilight sighed, “Who’s next?”

“Uh…you are,” Applejack informed.

“Me!” Twilight put on a distressed look. “But I already went!”

Applejack shrugged. “Well we’re fresh outta ponies.”

“I’m not a pony!” Spike reminded helpfully.

“Spike! I said, ‘No!’” Twilight reminded.

“Pinkie!” Twilight called out. “Please tell me you’re done with the computer!”

Pinkie looked up, lower lip extended. She shook her head from side to side sadly.

Dan reached over towards the laptop. “Maybe I can hel…”

Pinkie snatched the computer away and bit Dan’s hand.

“Yeouch! Why you little troglodyte! I…”

“We would like a turn…” A regal voice said through the mirror.

Dan turned to see two tall alicorns approach the mirror, Rainbow Dash trailing just a bit behind.

Twilight’s expression changed to equal amounts surprise and concern. “Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, I’m not sure if this…”

Princess Celestia smiled down at Twilight. “It’s okay, Twilight. Rainbow Dash informed me Dan was rather…lively,” Celestia offered diplomatically.

“Lively!” Twilight exclaimed. “Maybe in the same sense as a giant explosion!”

“Awwww,” Dan said. “You should have started with that, Sparkler! That was a nice compliment.”

Twilight’s eye’s narrowed as she looked back at the mirror. “It wasn’t intended as one.”

“Well, sometimes those are the best compliments of all,” Dan said informatively, raising his index finger.

Twilight let out an exasperated sigh and lowered her face into a hoof.

Celestia put a reassuring hoof on Twilight’s shoulder.

Twilight looked up at the taller alicorn. “Alright, just be careful…”

Celestia smiled warmly. “Not to worry, Twilight.”

Dan smiled wickedly.

“So, Dan, was it? I’m Princess Celestia. Thank you for taking care of one of my dear, dear subjects,” Celestia said earnestly.

“Princess, eh? So I take it there’s a Queen.”

“Oh no,” Celestia said with a smile. “Princess is the highest title in Equestria. ‘Queen’ is a title evil rulers tend to use around here.”

“…What is this, a Disney film?” Dan asked.

Celestia continued to smile. “I’m afraid I don’t understand that reference.”

Dan waved his hand dismissively. “Forget it.” He put back on a wicked, toothy grin. “So, I take it you’re in charge by divine virtue of being the tallest horse?”

Celestia chuckled. “Oh my, no. Size is not how we determine social stature in our world. But I’m guessing from your surroundings it is in yours,” Celestia added mischievously.

Dan uttered a surprised “Ghk.” Wasn't expecting prim and proper tallest horse to put up a fight...

“Alright, ‘tallest horse’, you got some teeth, I’ll give you that.”

“Why, thank you Dan! I’ve worked hard to keep them strong for well over 1,000 years.”

“What are you, stupid? That’s not…”

“You should really work on yours, if you don’t mind me saying. You’ll miss them when they’re gone,” Celestia said with a concerned tone.

Dan paused and tried to figure out if his dental hygiene was called into question, again, or if he had just been threatened.

Dan furrowed his brow. “Oh, you’re good princess…” he said, voice laced with venom.

“Thank you, Dan!”

Dan made a noise of frustration.

“Meow.”

Dan looked over to Mr. Mumbles, her paw extended towards him.

Dan sighed and swatted the paw, lowering the mirror onto a pillow and scooting over.

Mr. Mumbles trotted over in front of the mirror. “Meow.”

Celestia chuckled. “Oh my, no! It’s quite real, I assure you.”

“Meow.”

“It shimmers with my magical…”

“Meow!”

“Heh. I assure you, it’s not a magic wig!”

“Meow, meow?”

Celestia’s smile dropped. “My subjects would treat me exactly the same if…”

“Meow, meow, merow, mew?”

Celestia frowned. “Well, I can’t help how long we alicorns…”

“Meow, meow?”

Celestia made an offended gasp, “I give my subjects all the freedom they need, and….”

“Merowww! Hissss…”

Celestia’s eyes went wide as she processed what she had just said. “But I…no what I meant to say was…”

A dark blue alicorn walked into view. “Tag up, sister?”

Celestia joined the exasperated sigh club, tapped her sister on the shoulder lightly, and walked off.

“Mew?”

Luna blinked. “I um…I’m afraid I don’t speak feline.”

“She doesn’t have anything pleasant to say, anyhow.” Celestia called out.

“Hisss!”

“I heard that!” Celestia shouted.

“…but I would never do anything to poor Fluttershy!” Dan swore. “I mean… I just met you, so the jury’s still out on if I’d set you on fire or not, but…Tell her I’m sorry for me, will ya’?” Dan said uncharacteristically in an uncharacteristically repentant tone, especially since he was apologizing for his dream self.

Fluttershy poked her head back into view. “It’s okay Dan, I forgive you,” she said sweetly.

Dan smiled back at her as she disappeared from view once more.

“Well, I suppose it was unfair of me to treat you poorly for things a mere, flawed aspect of you did to me…”

“So, dreams, eh? That’s pretty nifty…in a very ‘Neil Gaiman’ sort of way…”

“I do not know who that is,” Luna admitted. “…Human names all sound so exotic.”

“Pony names sound like a bunch of hippies created your world…or market execs trying to sell toys,” Dan commented.

Luna bowed slightly. “Again, I am afraid I do not understand.”

Dan sighed as he continued to speak, “Forget it. So, Princess Goth…Can I call you Princess Goth?”

Luna frowned. “Apologies, once again, I don’t…”

Dan interrupted, “A ‘goth’ is someone who dresses in a lot of black; tends to obsess with the night, darkness, and The Crow. It’s something you might see a middles or high school student get into if the only chance they have at making friends is with other weirdos.”

“Well, I suppose it’s oddly fitting then, as I am the Princess of the Night and am apparently very popular with young children.”

“You don’t say…” Dan said flatly, not sure how he was going to elect an annoyed, offended, angry, or irritated response from the Princess, or even get the conversation somewhere interesting.

“Princess Luna has one of the best Holidays ever, ever, ever!” Pinkie informed, looking up from the laptop screen. “Everyone dresses up in costumes and gets all the free candy they can eat!” she said with a huge grin.

“Wait, you get Halloween as a celebration just to you?!” Dan asked in a surprised tone.

“Erm…Yes…Though we ponies call it ‘Nightmare Night’,” Luna said.

Dan raised an eyebrow. “’Nightmare Night?’ I thought dreams were your thing…”

Luna went uncomfortably silent.

“Yeah…” Pinkie began, “Luna sort of had a dark period where she shrouded the land in eternal night and Princess Celestia had to banish her to the moon for 1,000 years.”

Dan tried to process what his roommate had just said to him, “That’s the sort of stuff that happens in pastel colored pony land?! I thought you all just pranced around hugging each other, went to get facials, and blabbed non-stop about how great friendship is…” Dan said in a disgusted tone.

“Well…we do that, too,” Pinkie admitted. “But occasionally some dark force of evil will attack us and my friends and I will have to deal with it. Or some animal or swarm or giant beast will come by and completely destroy our village, and we’ll have to defeat it or lure it away somehow…”

“That sounds…kinda...cool, actually. Wait…” Dan turned back to the mirror. “Tallest Horse banished you to the moon for 1,000 years?! As in, an entire millennium?!” Dan asked in a shocked tone.

Mental Note: Buy…or steal Mr. Mumbles a kitty space suit.

“She had no choice!” Luna insisted. “I had become possessed by my jealousy and forced unrelenting darkness upon the land.”

“That still sounds pretty draconian for something she could have talked over with you…” Dan disputed.

“No Dan, she means literally." Pinkie contended. "She literally was possessed by a wicked spirit of nightmares that made her do those nasty things.”

Dan pondered this. “Oh well…that’s different I suppose…how’d she get better, then?”

“My friends and I defeated Nightmare Moon with the power of our friendship.”

“Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!”

“And by that, I mean our magical Elements of Harmony all worked together to blast her with magic and banish her from Princess Luna.”

“Uh…” Dan said, unsure of how to respond.

-IDW

“Oooh! Ooh! She came back, though, and gave us all wicked nightmares! She made it so in my dreams nopony thought I was funny! Can you believe it?”

“Well, actually…”

“And THEN she possessed Rarity. Who turned all black and evil and stuff! So, we all had to go to the moon and fight her and her evil moon minions who turned out to be the indigenous moon creatures who were also possessed by Nightmare’s super-evilness! But then Nightmare Rarity and her minions attacked Ponyville so we had to go back there and defeat them again with the help of the Princesses and all of Ponyville.”

“Prissy turned evil and attacked your village with dark minions?! And her, all your friends, and you have defeated evil monsters on numerous occasions?!” Dan asked having trouble imagining the same group he had traded barbs with before routinely found themselves in harm’s way and saving each other and their friends.

“Yeah…pretty frequently, actually…” Pinkie commented.

“I once fought off cockatrices with a trident!” Spike called out from the side.

“Wow…I didn’t realize you were all so…metal,” Dan responded.

“We’re not metal.” Pinkie responded, “We’re made of meat.”

“Never mind. Why didn’t you ever tell me any of this?!” Dan demanded

Pinkie Pie crawled into the fort, the glow from the TV washing Dan’s body in a myriad of different colors as terrified screams emitted from the speakers.

“Zombie’s eh?” Pinkie commented. “Hey, did I ever tell you about the times changelings invaded Ponyville and took…”

“Pinkie, I’m sure your frou-frou pony stories are very interesting from where you come from, but here, we have zombie movies… and occasionally real zombies.”

Pinkie sighed, “Never mind…”

-ooooooo-IDW

“Hey Dan, Did I ever tell you about how my friends and I had to fight an ancient god of chaos and he…”

“Pinkie, can this wait? I’m in the middle of a delicate procedure, here,” Dan said, not looking up from the house he was constructing out of waffles and toothpicks.

“Ulg…FIIIIIINE!”

-ooooooo-

“HEY DAN, THERE WAS THIS ONE TIME A MYSTERIOUS CRYSTAL EMPIRE APPEARED AND ME AND MY FRIENDS HAD TO DEFEND IT FROM AN EVIL SHADOW KING…”

“NO ONE CARES, PINKIE! No one!”

“GHAH!”

<-ooooooo->

Pinkie’s eye twitched a couple times. “Must have slipped my mind,” Pinkie said with an irritated expression on her face.

“Well, Dan human, I’m afraid I must say farewell for now. I have royal duties to attend to,” Luna said.

“Ah, like meeting with back-stabbing advisors or whiny vassals?” Dan suggested.

“Actually, my sister is in the final stages of lowering the sun, soon I must raise the moon.”

“You two have to move heavenly bodies all on your own?!” Dan asked, feeling everything he knew about physics suddenly being put on trial.

“No one on your world has to move the sun or moon each day, or put the stars in the sky?”

Life in prison, no chance at bail. “What?! No! They do that on their own!”

“Hmph, how convenient that must be,” Luna said walking off.

Dan went quiet, pondering on how he had certainly misjudged Pinkie’s friends, her world…and Pinkie for that matter.

Maybe I should let her talk to me about pony-land every once in a while…at least for a few minutes…

Pinkie began thrusting at keyboard keys with rigid arms and fingers, uttering frustrated “EEEH!”s with every stab.

…Then again, maybe not…

“Twilight, I’m not sure this is such a great idea.”

Dan turned back to the mirror, hearing the first masculine voice of the day.

“If you don’t talk to him, then I’ll have to talk to him, again!” Twilight pushed a reluctant looking orange pegasus with a blue mane in front of the mirror. “You’re my guard, so guard me.” Twilight quickly ran off to the side.

“But...!” Flash Sentry began, looking at the mirror and suddenly realizing he was being stared at. “Uh…Hey?”

“Wait, there actually are male ponies?!” Dan asked in a surprised tone.

Flash tried to figure out a response. “Well…uh…yeah. I mean…where did you think we get baby ponies from?”

“I just figured you all just spread like pink, girly mold on bread.”

Flash chuckled.

“So, Mr. Guy Horse Guard, why’d Sparkler toss you out into the ring?”

“Well…ummm…” Flash blushed slightly and trailed off.

“Oooh! That’s Twilight’s boyfriend!” Pinkie informed, glancing up for a split second.

Flash chuckled nervously.

“Dating your employer, eh? Scandalous. I’d tell you off if I actually cared about your bizarre equine society.”

Flash smiled. “Well Twilight sort of makes the rules, so it’s not exactly like there’s anyone to tell me off.”

“Heh, sweet deal. Still, I’m surprised you can tolerate her.”

“What do you mean?” Flash asked, a little perturbed at the unkind wording Dan had chosen.

“Well…you seem kinda…not a giant nerd.”

“Oh that,” Flash smiled. “Actually, I think it’s cute.”

Pinkie uttered an “Awwww…”

Dan raised an eyebrow. “Really? How many encyclopedias does she own?”

Flash blinked a few times. “Like…volumes or full sets? Either way…I…uh…sort of fell asleep last time she was telling me…”

Pinkie and Dan doubled over in laughter.

Dan regained his composure enough to ask “Seriously, is she the Princess of the nerds over there?” in between giggles.

“Well, she does still live at a Library,” Flash informed.

The volume of laughter coming from Dan and Pinkie increased.

“Tag up!” Twilight called out.

“Uh…Did I say something wrong?” Flash asked.

“NO! Everything is FINE. Just FINE!” Twilight insisted, putting a bit too much stress on just how fine things were. “I am 100%, absolutely, totally not mad at you or anything!” Twilight said, her words conveying that she meant exactly what she said, but her tone, facial expression, and body language saying otherwise.

“Uh geez… I better go guys…” Flash said, trudging away.

“Good luck!” Pinkie called out.

“Call her ‘Too Purple’ it’s her new favorite nickname,” Dan suggested.

Flash chuckled. “Riiiiiiight…”

“…And then I, ‘The Grrrreat and Powerful Trixie’ said, ‘Fear not, weak and feeble ponies of Ponyville! I Trixie will return this foul, and giant cosmic bear to the Everfree forest with my impressive, and praiseworthy, collection of great and powerful spells!”

“Now, this is important.” Dan interjected. “How many electric guitars were playing as you battled the multi-story bear monster?”

“Oh…uh…20! All controlled by my magic as I met the Ursa Major on a field of battle. Other ponies cowered in fear, even Twilight Sparkle… Especially Twilight Sparkle.”

“Sweet,” Dan said.

The mirror emitted blue and purple light as Trixie illustrated each new detail with her magic, even adding the guitars and music.

“You know…I can watch this for hours," Dan said.

Trixie smiled. Even if it's just one, I love a good audience... especially one that doesn't question anything I say!"

“Trixie?! Who let you in here!?” Twilight called out.

“Trixie goes where Trixie wants!” Trixie shot back.

“Uh, sorry Twilight…I thought we were jus’ lettin’ random ponies in after you took off with Flash…” Applejack admitted.

“Flash isn’t ‘random’!” Twilight complained.

“Nor is ‘The Grrrreat and Powerful Trixie’!” Trixie protested.

“Trixie! Get out of my research area! Dan doesn’t need to be corrupted... further, by the likes of you!” Twilight cried in a demanding tone.

“You going to let Princess Nerd push you around like that?” Dan asked.

“I most certainly am NOT!”

“Dan! Don’t encourage her!” Twilight said as she walked into view.

“And Twilight, are you going to let Trixie get away with calling your house ‘a dorky book repository for a geeky shut-in’?”

“WHAT?!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Hey, I didn’t…” Trixie paused, glancing up to the ceiling and tapping her hoof against her chin. “Oh wait…I think I did say that during the prologue…”

“GRAAAAH!” Twilight cried as she launched herself at Trixie. Twilight used her wings to add a little momentum, tackling the light blue unicorn to the floor and knocking off her hat.

Trixie immediately fought back, smacking her hooves against the purple princess and grabbing a mouthful of feathers from Twilight’s wing.

The two wrestled and flailed against each other, trading insults.

“Oh why don’t you just cast a spell toOUCHmake this go away, Princess?” Trixie asked, adding an audible sneer at the word ‘Princess’.

“At least my spells aren’t just uselessGHAH, flashy, nonsense!”

“Nonsense! My SpSMACK...spells entertain ponies all over Equestria,” Trixie said dizzily.

“With a little help from your lies, of cour…YEOWCH!” Twilight said as Trixie sunk her teeth into Twilight’s foreleg.

Pinkie looked up, frustration slowly becoming the default expression as the hours of trying to get the computer to cooperate dragged on. “Are Twilight and Trixie…fighting?!”

“Yeah…” Dan said, memorized by the tussle in front of him, “I could watch this for hours…”

Pinkie raised her pink crowbar as far above her head as the limited room in the fort would allow. She brought it down towards the computer, dwelling on how great it would be to be free of the wretched thing.

It was not to be. Dan snagged the crowbar just above Pinkie’s grip and quickly wrested it from her, accidentally smacking the back of the couch with it, the couch doubling as the back wall. The pillows and structure wobbled and the two occupants paused until the structure settled.

Dan chastised Pinkie with a wag of his finger.

Pinkie whimpered quietly and went back to the laptop.

“Oh my. Everything alright over there, my dear?” A sophisticated sounding male voice called out.

Pinkie merely grunted a reply, as frustration reemerged from every corner of her face.

“Buck up, young filly, you’ll get it!” The voice assured.

Dan turned back to the mirror. A sophisticated white unicorn to match the voice was in view. Dan himself had changed into his Mr. Pennybags outfit complete with monocle, mustachio, and top hat; the monocle and mustachio complementing the monocle and mustache of the unicorn on the other side of the mirror.

“So Dan, you were telling me about your ever expanding real estate business,” Fancy Pants said to the dapper gentleman.

“Ah yes,” Dan said, donning his old money voice. “Well, the green and blue properties of course always bring the big money; Boardwalk, Park place, etcetera…”

“Of course,” Fancy Pants replied with a nod, as if the sentence needn't explanation.

“However, recently I’ve decided to diversify my investments. You can’t go putting all your eggs in one basket, you know? One giant fire, or thermonuclear explosion and it’s all gone in a flash.” Dan paused to sip tea out of a chipped glass that was sitting atop a small, chipped saucer.

“Ah yes, I remember when an associate of mine almost had his fortune ruined because of a Parasprite infestation. Lucky the old boy was well insured, but the downtime required to get his business back in order played havoc with his finances.”

“Quite,” Dan responded. “That’s why I’ve thought it best to purchase properties off planet entirely,” Dan said, sipping more tea.

“Off planet, you say?” Fancy Pants responded, monocle nearly popping off his face.

“Ah yes, Tatooine, Cloud City, Coruscant…”

Pinkie began sniggering to herself.

“We’ve even got hotels on Middle Earth.”

Pinkie began to fail stifling her laughter.

“Good show, Dan!”

“Yes, soon we hope to build property on Uranus,” Dan said, attempting to block his smile with his tea cup.

Pinkie rolled over on the mattress, laughing so hard that tears began to form at her eyes. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..."

“The lady sure seems impressed.” Fancy Pants commented with a smile as he motioned out to Pinkie.

Pinkie’s eye twitched, and she gritted her teeth in a rapid split second movement.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...!” Came derisive laughter from the mirror, it resting on a pillow.

“Discord, you really shouldn’t laugh at others frustration like that…” A soft voice said.

Dan joined the laughter with a “BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...!” Using one hand to point at Pinkie and the other to hold his side.

The soft voice became a little sterner “Dan! You should know better than to pick on Pinkie like that. She’s trying the best she can!”

Pinkie erupted in a frustrated growl and pounced on Dan. Interrupting his laughter as she knocked him to the mattress, straddled his chest, and finding his neck with her slender hands. The entire fort shook with the impact on the mattress, but the occupants were a little too preoccupied to notice at this point.

“Hack…cough…”Dan uttered several choking sounds as he struggled to get Pinkie, or her hands, off of him.

Discord’s derisive laughter changed to full belly laughing as he fell to the floor, rolling and laughing at the scene in front of him. “HAHAHAHhehehe…stop, stop! You’re killing me!” Discord said from the floor.

“Oh my!” Fluttershy said. “Tag up, Dan! Tag up!”

“Meow,” Mr. Mumbles called a few feet away from the scene of violence.

Dan frantically stuck out his hand, Mr. Mumbles swatted and trotted into view of the mirror with a “Meow?”

Pinkie calmed down enough to move her weight off Dan, grab the laptop, and turned, facing away from the mirror.

Dan struggled to catch his breath and meekly crawled out of the fort.

Discord composed himself enough to look at the mangy cat in the mirror and sighed, “Show’s over I guess.” He wandered off.

Fluttershy followed him with her eyes. “Discord, you didn’t…”

Before she could finish, a disembodied Eagle claw appeared and lifted one of her forehooves. A disembodied lion paw also appeared and gave her hoof a tap.

With a smile, Fluttershy returned her focus to the mirror.

“Meow.”

“Awwww…who’s a pretty kitty?” Fluttershy asked.

“Meow?”

“Of course it’s you! You’re sucha pretty kitty!"

“Meow!” Mr. Mumbles rolled onto her back and began purring.

“Awwww…whosaprettykitty? Whosaprettykitty?” Fluttershy glanced up to the pink mop of hair in her mirror. “Pinkie! Mr. Mumbles requires belly rubs, please.”

“Busy,” Pinkie responded curtly, without looking back.

“Pinkie! I can’t give Mr. Mumbles the belly rubs she requires through the mirror,” Fluttershy replied with a small frown.

“I SAID I WAS BUSY!” Pinkie snapped, turning to level an angry glare at the mirror.

Fluttershy gasped. “Too busy to scratch a fluffy kitty’s belly? Pinkie, I’m not sure I even know who you are anymore…”

Pinkie paused and contemplated this. She began to tear up, “Oh my gosh! You’re right, Fluttershy.” Pinkie stared down at Mr. Mumbles, who was still on her back and gave her a quick “Mew?”

“I’VE BECOME EVERYTHING I’VE EVER HATED!” Pinkie declared, collapsing into a fountain of tears, but still outstretching a hand to rub Mr. Mumbles’s belly.

“Oh Pinkie, don’t cry. It’s okay…” Fluutershy said.

“Sniff…No it’s not! SOB…I’m stupid and I can’t figure out ANYTHING! WHOUAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAA!” Pinkie buried her face in her arm as the other continued to stroke Mr. Mumbles, desperately trying to grasp onto cat fur as if it was her very equinity that she was holding onto.

The rest of Pinkie’s friends gathered to the mirror with a concerned look on their faces.

Pinkie felt a warm hand on her shoulder, she glanced up to see Dan holding out a kitchen towel. “Tag up?” he asked softly.

Pinkie grabbed the towel, wiped her face with it, and blew her nose. Her eyes still puffy and her face still red, she whimpered a soft, “Uh-huh.”

Dan held out his hand, and Pinkie gave it a swat. Still petting Mr. Mumbles, she scooted closer to the mirror.

Mr. Mumbles stood up, and swatted Pinkie’s hand, trotting out of the fort.

Pinkie collected herself as she collected the mirror and brought it up to her face.

“So…ummm…what did you all think of Dan?”

Pinkie was bombarded with responses as all her friends spoke out at once.

“He’s awful!”

“So uncool!”

“He’s a lowdown, cheatin’ snake!”

“Uncultured barbarian!”

“He’s great.”

“Totally rad!”

Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Rarity all turned to face Fluttershy and Spike. In unison the four asked “Really?!”

“Yeah, he’s awesome!” Spike responded.

“Yeah, he’s great,” Fluttershy repeated softly.

Dan examined a slip of paper, trying to decipher Pinkie’s girly scrawl; Pinkie obviously not have taken the same time to write the password down as she did when she wrote for her arts and crafts projects.

Dan squinted and scratched at the stubble on his cheek. “Pinkie,” he called out, “usually when someone says ‘three’ when they’re giving you a password, they mean the number ‘3’.” Dan turned the piece of paper for Pinkie to see.

Pinkie snatched it and examined it, a smile quickly reclaiming the previously lost territory of her face. “Tag up!” She said, setting the mirror down and holding her hand out.

Dan smacked her hand and Pinkie was back in front of the computer in an instant.

Some excited typing and a hopeful, “Oooooooh!” later, Dan found Pinkie on top of him again. This time, it was Pinkie's arms and not her hands that where around his neck, much to Dan's relief.

“Hack…cough…”

…Or maybe not.

Slowly, Pinkie released the death grip on her roommate’s neck and sat up, she placed the mirror so her friends could view the computer screen.

“Finally, now we can finally begin our search for…Hey!” Twilight called out as Dan quickly typed something into the computer. “Dan, I don’t think…IS THAT A CAT PLAYING THE BAGPIPES?!”

Everyone gathered closer to the mirror as 'Scotland the Brave' played out of the computer to a video of a cat bouncing up and down on bagpipes.

Dan clicked a few items and suddenly another cat was added, blowing into the pipes.

“It’s…it’s more beautiful than I dared dream,” Fluttershy commented with wide eyes and wide pupils.

“Yep.” Dan said. “And there are thousands more where these two came from.”

“Do they have dogs?” Applejack asked hopefully.

“Or tortoises?” Rainbow Dash added excitedly.

“They have every animal you can think of and even a whole bunch of ones you didn’t know existed,” Dan responded.

“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh…” Dash responded, excitedly flapping her wings.

The group eagerly began shouting requests as Pinkie sat down next to her roommate with a content smile.

“Alright everpony, I raised the sun hours ago. You should all go get some sleep,” Celestia called out maternally, walking into the room

There was a series of disappointed groans from the five ponies and baby dragon, as they sat up, stretched, and made their way to the exit.

Luna followed close behind and leaned in close to her sister. “Uh…thanks for lowering the moon for me, sister…I lost track of time…” She admitted embarrassed.

Celestia smiled warmly at her younger sister. “Not to worry, you should get some rest.”

Luna smiled, nodded, and walked out.

Celestia turned to the mirror. “Now, I think you two should also get some rest.” She said, assuming Dan and Pinkie to be behind the mirror but in earshot. Suddenly, Celestia’s eyes narrowed as Mr. Mumbles wandered into view. “Oh, it’s you…what do you…” -- With a “Meow”, Mr. Mumbles tapped a few keys on the computer – “…IS THAT A CAT PLAYING THE BAGPIPES?!”

Author's Notes:

Revised

Snagged a vector from floppychiptunes

The Dan screenshots all came from here.

A very special thanks to MythrilMoth who proofed this monster chapter any many before and after it. He writes good stuff if you didn't know. You should definitely check out his story section.