The Wheel and the Butterfly

A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga

Part 17 Sunset Shimmer Vs. The Dazzlings

Chapter 161 Dan Vs. Showdown

Pinkie quickly pulled a cylindrical item ending with a chrome sphere tipped rod out of her hair with her right hand, and a small pistol like item ending with a blade in her left. She pointed both weapons at the side of Adagio’s head. “Don’t make me do this!” Pinkie said threateningly. “I don’t want to mess up your fluffy hair.”

Adagio frowned. “I have so many regrets…”

Dan smacked a palm against his face. “Goofball… what the heck is that thing?”

“It’s a knife gun! It shoots knifes!”

“Well, obviously!” Dan said grumpily as he removed his hand from his face. “Ignoring the impracticality of something that fires knifes instead of bullets, I meant the other thing.”

“Oh this?” Pinkie said as she glanced at the cylindrical weapon. “It’s a sphere gun!”

Dan grumbled, “It shoots spheres…”

“It shoots spheres!” Pinkie said excitedly.

“I get it!” Chris declared.

Dan rolled his eyes. “That is without a doubt, the stupidest—”

Pinkie continued, her expression going dead serious for a second. “The spheres explode violently on impact!”

A look of interest suddenly crossed Dan’s face. “Really?”

“Yeah!” Pinkie said. “Should blow a giant hole right in the side of her head if I have to use it!”

Adagio pursed her lips hard as her eyes widened. “So… so many regrets.”

Aria sighed heavily as she continued to point her small, snub nosed pistol at the back of Chris’s “Dagi, why’d you grab the Desert Eagle?”

“I grabbed the most intimidating gun that I could hide behind my back!”

Aria rolled his eyes. “Okay, but I think that gun’s a little much for you.”

“Are you seriously critiquing me while I’m trying to save your life?!”

“Can’t you at least hold the gun with both hands?! I bet the kick-back will break your wrist if you pull the trigger.”

Elise nodded her head up and down. “Oh yeah, those things don’t mess around… You should totally put it down.”

Adagio narrowed her eyes. “Quiet you!”

Pinkie lowered her own eyelids slightly. “You should really put the gun down.”

Adagio hummed thoughtfully. “Hmmmmmm…”

“Seriously!” Aria said. “Go back and pick something small and girly.”

“You know what?!” Adagio said. “No! I’m gonna to stick with this one. So just deal with it!”

Aria furrowed her brow.

Elise spoke up, “I vote she leaves and gets a smaller gun… or just leaves.”

“SHUT UP!” Aria and Adagio said in unison.

“Here’s an Idea,” Chris said, “why doesn’t everyone just put their guns down and no one gets shot with a bullet, or a knife, or anything that explodes? Dan, back me up here.”

Dan shrugged. “I still vote you just duck.”

Chris sighed.

“Hey, Pinkie?” Sunset said.

“Yes ‘m?”

“Can I have a gun, please? Preferably one that shoots actual bullets if you have one.”

Pinkie raised her knife gun to the curl that extended from the top of her head and hung it by the finger guard.

Adagio gritted her teeth. “Hey! Don’t… Wait, did you just hang a gun off your hair?! I have to know what kind of hair gel you use!”

Pinkie giggled as she reached into her hair again. “Oh, it just does that itself,” Pinkie answered as she pulled out a large revolver with zig-zag grooves on the cylinder.

Adagio frowned. “You’re lucky. Aria uses like two cans of hairspray to keep my hair in place,” she said as Pinkie handed Sunset the gun.

“Huh…” Sunset said as she examined the strange revolver. “Cool gun.”

Pinkie nodded as she reached back up for her knife gun. “Mmmmhmm! They don’t make them anymore!”

Sunset pointed her revolver at Adagio. “Gun drops when you change your concert date.”

“Okay, this really isn’t fair!” Adagio said.

Aria rolled her eyes. “You are such a baby sometimes, you know that?”

“Easy for you to say! You don’t even have one gun pointed directly at you! I have three sorta guns pointed at me! = How is that fair?!”

Pinkie frowned. “Well, I don’t want to be unfair.” Pinkie slowly moved her knife gun so it was pointing at Sunset. “Is that better?!”

“NO!” Sunset cried.

“Yes,” Adagio said.

Dan chuckled softly to himself. “I’m still voting you just duck, Chris.”

Chris frowned heavily. “As uncomfortable as I am with the idea of getting shot, I really don’t want to start a chain reaction that gets…” Chris paused and counted to himself as he lowered fingers on his right hand “… four people shot! Especially if one of those people is my wife.”

“Hey Pinkie,” Sunset said, “I can understand if you’re still a little peeved at me, but could you not point the knife gun at my face? Maybe pick something less likely to kill me?”

Pinkie thought about this momentarily. “Okay, but I’ll have to move the gun I have on Adagio, too! IT’s only fair.”

“Well, I’m already pointing a gun at her head, so that’s fine.”

Pinkie pointed her guns down at the women’s posteriors. “Hehe! There, now if I shot you both, it’ll be more funny and less murdery!”

“Thanks,” Sunset said.

Adagio looked downwards and cringed. “No! Not my glorious booty! Point it at my face! MY FACE!”

“Dagi,” Aria called out, “if your face explodes, you’ll most likely die. At least you could probably survive an ass explosion.”

“THAT’S NOT LIVING!” Adagio cried.

Pinkie frowned. “I was just trying to he—.”

“Found everyone!” the group heard a young man’s voice call out.

They turned as Gibson began walking towards the group, Trixie close behind him.

Dan shot a glare in the direction of the new arrivals. “What took you two so long?!”

Trixie returned the glare. “We were hungry and the tacos where delicious!”

Gibson nodded in agreement. “They were pretty tasty.”

Pinkie gasped. “You two didn’t come to help because you were eating tacos?!”

Dan smirked. “You tell ‘em, Pinkie!”

“And you didn’t bring me one?!” Pinkie cried.

Dan grumbled to himself and smacked a palm against his face.

Gibson turned to Trixie. “See! I told you she’d want one!”

Trixie sighed as she reached into a purple handbag with a blue, yellow, and white stars on it. “Fine,” Trixie said as she pulled out a taco wrapped in clear rap and handed it to Pinkie. “But we’re going to make more tacos to take home!”

“Yay!” Pinkie cried as she hung her sphere gun on her dangling hair hook, grabbed the taco and unwrapped it. She began to happily munch on it.

Sunset knitted her brow as she continued to keep her gun firmly pointed at Adagio. “For the record, if I die, I want it known that I hate each and every one of you.

Adagio cocked an eyebrow. “Can you point your gun at one of them then, please?”

Sunset cocked an eyebrow. “Still hate you more.”

Adagio sighed.

“Seriously!” Dan cried as he continued to shoot an irritated glance at Trixie and Gibson. “You wasted all this time just eating!?”

Gibson frowned. “Well, we also ran into a kid we had to knock out and stick with the rest of the guests.”

Trixie raised an index finger. “Technically we didn’t have to. But she was being a brat, so Trixie wanted to.” Trixie’s eyes suddenly went wide they drifted over the group, lingering on each very lethal-looking firearm pointed at someone else. “Wait?! Why does everyone have guns drawn and pointed at each other?”

Chris spoke up, “Well, I don’t have a gun.”

Elise frowned. “Chris, that doesn’t really matter.”

Chris grinned sheepishly. “Sorry.”

Trixie swallowed and began to shake in place.

Dan sighed and motioned out to the group of armed girls and Chris. “As you may have noticed, we have a little situation up here. Chris might get shot!”

“Dan!” Pinkie said in a scolding tone as she pointed her sphere gun back at Adagio’s rump.

“And other people might die too,” Dan continued, “So if you have something constructive you can do to help out here, I’m open to suggestions.”

Trixie suddenly wrapped an arm around Gibson’s shoulder as she reached into her jeans and pulled out her wand. She suddenly thrust pressed her wand under Gibson’s chin. “NOBODY MOVE! TRIXIE HAS A TEENAGER AND SHE’S NOT AFRAID TO ZAP HIM!”

“Trixie?! What the hell?!” Gibson cried.

Trixie continued to shake. “TRIXIE IS SORRY! TRIXIE GETS ALL PANICKY WHEN SHE THINKS SHE MIGHT GET SHOT!”

Dan smacked a palm against his face. “Mixie… I said to do something if you had something ‘constructive’. Why are you holding obnoxious teen hostage? No one cares about him.”

“I know I don’t,” Adagio said.

Gibson spoke up, “Plus, you’re just going to shock us both you’re holding onto me like this.”

Trixie’s already frightened-looking face turned several shades paler. “Trixie lied. Trixie is afraid to zap her boyfriend and now she’s terrified that it means zapping herself.”

Dan grit his teeth. “SO JUST LET HIM GO ALREADY!”

“TRIXIE IS FROZEN IN FEAR!”

Dan smacked a palm against his head. “Obnoxious teen. Can you do something helpful?”

“Uh…” Gibson looked around at the scene in front of him and the wand pressed against his chin nervously. He reached behind him, thrusting his hand in between his back and Trixie.

“Eek!” Trixie exclaimed as she jumped slightly. “Watch it! I have a wand pointed at you, you know!”

“Sorry, bae,” Gibson said. “I was just reaching for my gun.”

“Oh…” Trixie said, as she released Gibson long enough to reach behind him and pull out a small, boxy pistol. “You mean, this?” She asked as she handed the gun to Gibson. “It was poking me in the stomach anyways.”

“Thank you!” Gibson said as he took the gun.

“You’re welcome!” Trixie said sweetly as she resumed wrapping her arm around Gibson’s neck as she pointed her wand threateningly at his chin.

“Awww,” Pinkie uttered. “Aren’t they so cute together?”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, it’s like watching two mentally challenged cocker spaniels repeatedly throw themselves into a wall.”

“Nobody move!” Gibson said as he pointed his gun at Dan. “I’ve got a clean shot against Dan.”

Dan shot Gibson a ragefilled scowl. “THAT’S PRETTY MUCH THE OPPOSITE OF HELPFUL!”

“Oh no!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Dan!”

Elise sighed. “No one cares about Dan… How’s that going to help?”

“I care about Dan!” Chris said.

Aria cocked an eyebrow. “You don’t have a gun, dude.”

Chris frowned. “Oh, yeah…”

Pinkie whimpered. “I care about Dan!” She suddenly shot Gibson a determined look as she pointed her weapons at Adagio’s backside more threateningly. “You better put your weapon down! I have a pop-star’s butt here, and am I’m far less afraid to explode it than I am to see Dan be shot!”

Gibson gasped. “No! Not Adagio’s butt! It’s super-hot!”

Trixie grit her teeth and pressed her wand into Gibson’s chin.

Gibson looked down and smiled nervously. “But not nearly as hot as the butt belonging to the woman holding me hostage…”

Trixie nodded satisfactorily and lowered her wand slightly.

Pinkie narrowed her eyes. “Seriously! Don’t make me do this!”

Adagio swallowed. “Please don’t make her do this! I need my booty for shaking while I dance!”

Dan continued glare at Gibson. “I’m afraid I have to agree with fuzzy-wuzzy over here.”

“Dan,” Pinkie said, “Fuzzy-wuzzy didn’t have any hair… I mean… that’s sort of the point… Fuzzy-Wuzzy wasn’t very Fuzzy... was he?”

Dan sighed. “Shouldn’t you be leveraging your hostage so I don’t get shot?”

“Oh, right!” Pinkie said. “Seriously! Put the gun down! I’m not afraid to blow this ass—” Pinkie paused for a moment and cocked an eyebrow— “… up!”

Gibson swallowed as his gun began to shake.

“Goodness,” Trixie said, “you must really like Adagio’s rear.”

“It’s my… second favorite butt,” Gibson said as he glanced downward.

“Well… Even Trixie must admit it’s a pretty glorious booty.” Trixie sighed then smiled. “Alright, fine… Since I pulled a wand on you, I guess I can at least make up for it.” She thrust her wand hard against Gibson’s chin. “If you explode the butt, Trixie will zap her hostage.”

Pinkie gasped. “No! Not Gibson!”

Dan smacked a palm against his forehead. “PINKIE! GIBSON’S THE ONE POINTING A GUN AT ME!”

“Yeah, but… He’s still my friend!” Pinkie replied. “Plus, pointing guns at people just seems to be the in thing at the moment. I can hardly blame him for caving into peer pressure!”

Dan sighed. “Well… I’m sure there are stupider ways I could have died. I’m just having trouble thinking of them right now.

“Uh… Dan?” Chris called out. “Maybe now would be a good time to use your powers.”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “Right… I’m sure startling someone by punching things and throwing things won’t cause them to pull a trigger.”

Dan frowned and motioned to Sunset. “She has a point Chris. As much as I’d like to start taking a swing at everyone, someone, including myself is likely to still get shot.”

“Not that power!” Chris said. “Can’t you teleport objects, or something? Isn’t that how you got your couch? You could teleport all the weapons away!”

“Oh right…” Dan frowned. “But I’m not sure how that one works!” Plus I’ve only ever done it on one object at a time.”

“You can do it, Dan!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I believe in you! Your powers saved me before! You can use them to save me and everyone this time.”

Dan cocked an eyebrow at Pinkie. “You’re the only one not in any trouble.”

Pinkie puffed out her lower lip. “I kinda don’t want to commit double derriecide!”

Sunset furrowed her brow at Pinkie. “You could always just drop the weapon you have pointed at me.”

Pinkie frowned. “Yeah, but ‘single derriecide’ just isn’t as fun to say.”

“Will everyone shut up?!” Dan snapped as he closed his eyes and raised his hands to the sides of his head. “I’m trying to concentrate!”

“Are we having a party in the hallway?!”

Dan turned towards the sound of the voice. “WHAT DID I JUST—Wait, who the heck are you?” Dan asked of the blue haired woman that showed up from behind Trixie and Gibson.

“Sonata!” Adagio cried. “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!”

Sonata shrugged. “Oh, I fell down a laundry chute.”

Adagio turned to Aria and grinned. “HAH!”

Aria sighed then inhaled deeply. “How did you manage that?”

Sonata smiled. “I thought it’d be fun! And it was!”

Pinkie’s face lit up. “Dan, can I—?”

“No!” Dan said forcefully.

Pinkie puffed out her lower lip in a pout.

Sonata gasped excitedly as she noticed all the firearms drawn and pointed. “Are we playing hostages?!” Her face lit up and she began to run towards the hotel. “Sweet! I’ll get my explosive vest!”

“Sonata, wait!” Adagio cried.

“Don’t worry!” Sonata called back as she walked into the hotel room. “I have more than one! You never know when you might want to explode yourself twice in one day.”

“Ugh…. You know what?” Adagio said. “Someone just shot me… Put me out of my misery already. I can’t take this anymore.”

Sunset spoke up. “You know you could just move the concert and not get shot.”

Adagio sighed. “But I’d still be working with the same two idiots… also I’m still sick of rearranging the concert schedule.”

Sonata stuck her head out of the hotel room. “Wait, what concert?”

“Ugh…” Aria said. “Don’t tell me you forgot already!”

Sonata scowled at Aria. “We have lots of concerts, d’uh! I wanted to know which one she was talking about!”

“The one tomorrow!” Sunset cried. “That’s why we all have guns drawn and pointed at each other! It needs to be moved.”

“Over my… huff… puff… dead body!” Aria cried as her breathing become increasingly labored.

Elise grinned as she struggled with her own breathing. “Works for… huff… puff… Works for me!”

Chris’s eyes darted between the two women. “You know, you two are looking a bit pale. I think we should—“

Sonata interrupted, “There’s no concert tomorrow.”

“Yes there is!” Adagio cried. “We had to rearrange our schedule… again because either one of you idiots is getting into a fight or one of you is stuffing yourself so full of food that you can’t perform and we keep moving them!”

Sonata nodded. “Right! And since today is Tuesday and I need Wednesdays to recover, I called ahead and pushed our concert back another day!”

Adagio lowered her weapon. “You-you WHAT?!”

Pinkie and Sunset also lowered their weapons, as did Gibson.

Chris glanced behind him and then in front of him. “Girls, I think you can…”

“Huff… puff… Nope!” Aria said simply as she kept her gun pointed forward.

“Sorry, honey,” Elise said. “Huff… puff… We weren’t fighting over—” Elise paused to swallow hard— “the concert. This is huff… puff… a matter of honor.”

Chris sighed.

“When did you do this?!” Adagio demanded.

Sonata shrugged. “I don’t know… Like between Dinosaur mono-rail… and another episode of Dinosaur mono-rail.”

“YOU CALLED THIS MORNING AND DIDN’T TELL US?!”

“I was gonna!” Sonata insisted. “But the Dinosaur mono-rail was going to visit another time period! I couldn’t just leave in the middle of that!”

“But that happens every episode of that stupid kid’s show!” Adagio said. “What’s the big deal?”

“Well… I was kinda hoping they’d finally cover why the dinosaurs went extinct if they could time travel. I mean… You’d think one of them would have gone back in time to warn the others at some point.”

“Oh geez!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I know, right? Maybe they’re saving that for the season finale.”

“Yeah!” Sonata said excitedly. “I’m guessing the conductor of the rocket-rail sabotages the time portals to ensure none of his victims escape his grizzly plan of disintegrating them with a death ray!”

Dan shot Pinkie and Sonata an irritated glance. “You two are talking about a cartoon! Cartoon characters don’t go on kill happy rampages with death rays!”

“Wait,” Sunset said as she handed Pinkie the gun she was holding and pulled out her smartphone. “If this happened this morning, then why I haven’t gotten a call…” Sunset frowned as she looked at her phone. “How come I’m getting no signal in the middle of Hollywood?”

“Yeah...huff… puff… that’s sort of my bad,” Elise said.

Sunset let her shoulders slump as she hung her head slightly. “You mean the concert was canceled the entire time?! What a waste of time.” she said while she shook her head. She began to trudge off. “Whatever… Guess I’ll rummage through the pile of rich people clothes and make the most of this whole thing.

“Can Trixie put her wand down now?” Trixie asked.

Dan grit his teeth. “NO ONE WAS EVEN POINTING A GUN AT YOU!” he roared.

“Oh…” Trixie said as she released Gibson. “Right…” she raised an eyebrow at Gibson. “Wait, why didn’t you say anything.”

“Uh… I was kind of enjoying being held by you… Even if there was a chance you might have zapped me.”

Trixie smiled. “Aww, you’re sweet.”

Pinkie giggled. “See! They’re adorable.”

Dan narrowed his eyes at Trixie and Gibson. “Like two rabbits with kitchen cutlery tied to themselves and forced to fight, maybe. Cute, but it only can end in blood.”

“Can I go get my vest now?” Sonata asked.

“NO!” Adagio and Aria cried in unison.

Sonata folded her arms across her chest. “Ah, nerts… You two never let me blow myself up along with the entire building I’m in.”

Adagio narrowed her eyes at Sonata. “That’s because we’re always in the same building as you.”

“Fine!” Sonata cried as she stormed out of the hotel room and down the hall. “I still get to gorge myself on tacos!”

“What?!” Adagio cried. She began to follow. Sonata. “Oh no you—

“Huff… Just let it go, Adagio… puff…” Aria said.

“What?!” Adagio snapped as she turned to look at Aria. “I know you hate rearranging the schedule as much as I do!”

“Yeah…huuuuff… but I don’t think we’ll…puuuuffff… have a concert one way or the…huuuuff… other tomorrow…puuuuffff…”

“And why’s that?”

“ ‘Caaaaaausseeee…” Aria’s eyes rolled up and back into her head and she collapsed into a small pool of her own blood.

Adagio frowned. “Oh…”

“Oh thank God…” Chris uttered.

“Ha!” Elise cried victoriously before taking a deep breath. “I won!” she smiled at Chris.

“Can we go home now?” Chris asked.

Elise shook her head and exhaled. “We should probably go to the hospital first.”

“Really?” Chris said as he glanced at Aria’s unconscious body. “That’s rather noble of you.”

Elise shook her head. “Not really.”

With that, Elise collapsed into her own pool of blood.

“Oh no…” Chris uttered.

Dan smiled. “Who wants to take bets on who dies of blood loss first?”

Pinkie shot Dan a disapproving look and swatted the back of his head.

‘Smack!’

“Ow!” Dan exclaimed as he glared up at Pinkie.

Pinkie continued to give Dan a disapproving look.

Dan sighed. “Fine! We’ll go to the stupid hospital. But we get to stop at Burgerphille on the way!”

“What?!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Dan! No! They could die!”

“That could happen anyways!” Dan said. “Do you think they’d want to die and inconvenience others at the same time?!”

Pinkie frowned. “Well no, but I still think getting them help as soon as possible is more important than stopping for food.” She turned to Chris. “Chris! Back me up here.”

Chris fidgeted nervously in place. “Do you… Do you think I can think about it on the way to the car?”