The Wheel and the Butterfly

A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga

Part 16 Chris Vs. Pinkie

Chapter 153 Dan Vs. Fair

“I’m still a bit skeptical…” Chris uttered as he stared out the windshield of his and Elise’s blue sedan, keeping an eye on the red hatchback far down the road past a number of other vehicles.

Elise sat next to Chris in the passenger’s side as she looked through a pair of binoculars. Behind her and Chris sat her parents.

“I’m telling you, it can’t fail!” Don said.

Chris turned to face Don. “Won’t Dan just want to turn around as soon as they get to the fair and he finds out it’s running until July?!”

“Keep your eyes on the road!” Elise Sr. cried out in alarm.

Chris turned and with a startled “Gah!” quickly jerked the car to the left, jerking it back into his lane. A pickup truck speed off in the lane next to him, blaring its horn as it drove off.

Chris sighed and reached into his pocket.

Don leaned forward. “What do you think is going to happen? They get to the fair, find out it’s going on for several more weeks and just turn around and drive another two and a half hours?!”

Chris pulled an item out of his pocket. “Well, this is Dan. He’s determined, angry, and crazy enough to do just that…”

Don shook his head. “Trust me, once they’re there Pinkie will beg Dan that they stay. I know the man is out of his mind, but there’s no way he can shoot down his girlfriend like that.”

“If you say so…” Chris said in an unsure tone. He started fiddling with the item he had taken out of his pocket causing the car began to serve and sway. The occupants of the blue sedan were thrown one way and the next as they let out startled cries.

Elise Sr. leaned up to look up front, staring at Chris. “Are you peeling an orange while driving?!”

“What?!” Chris cried as he dug at an orange’s skin with his fingernails while he placed a foot against the steering wheel. “We’re running low on time, therefore I’m nervous, and ipso facto I’m hungry.”

Elise put down her binoculars and gave Chris a nervous smile. “Chris, why don’t you pull over and let me drive?”

Dan took a break from almost perpetually scowling out the windshield to glance at the woman in the seat next to him who was being unusually quiet.

“Goofball, are you writing in the car?!”

“Uh-huh,” Pinkie answered without lifting her pink glitter pen or evening looking up from the pink spiral notebook she was writing in.

“Pinkie, you have the penmanship of an illiterate chimp suffering a seizure on the best of days! What makes you think anyone, including yourself, will be able to make use of whatever you’re scrawling there?!”

Pinkie smirked. “Oh… that doesn’t really matter…”

Dan sighed. “Well, whatever I guess… As long as it keeps you from hounding me with your endless chanting of ‘Are we there yet?’”

Pinkie threw Dan a wry grin. “Are we there yet?”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Yes Pinkie, me saying that was, in fact, an elaborate ruse so I could point out that we are at the fair and make you feel like an idiot for bugging me all that time.”

Pinkie gave Dan a knowing smile. “Nice one. Next you’ll tell me the word ‘gullible’ is written on the car’s ceiling.”

“That’s because the word ‘gullible’ is written on the car’s ceiling, genius.”

Pinkie giggled. “Dan, I know I’m not the sharpest hammer in the toolbox, but give me some credit! What kind of dummy do you think I am?”

“The kind of dummy who writes ‘gullible’ on the car ceiling to pull some sort of crazy meta prank on me one day, then forgets about it a little later.”

Pinkie’s smile dropped and she stared at Dan with a blank expression for a moment before looking up. ‘Gullible’ had indeed been scrawled on the ceiling above her in pink marker, the ‘i’ dotted with a heart. “Oh… right…” Pinkie gasped. “Then that means…” She looked out the window. Down the street she could see a massive Ferris wheel over the tops of buildings as well as a plethora of other rides.

“Dan! We are there! I mean… the fair… We’re there at the fair, Dan!”

“Just say we’re ‘here’, Goofball.”

“Dan! We’re here! You weren’t being sarcastic at all! You were just passive-aggressive truth saying!”

“… Does the sight of a fair scramble the speech center of your brain?”

Pinkie gasped as she continued to stare at rides as they got closer. “Dan! It’s even fairier than I could have possibly imagined.”

“… What does that even mean?”

“Let’s ride some rides!”

“Pinkie.”

“No! Let’s get some food!”

“Pinkie!”

“No! Let’s go see what a first place pig looks like!”

“Pinkie!”

“No! Let’s see if they have a pig that wins no awards, but has a rat friend who can read English and a spider friend that can write using her web!”

“PIIIIIINKIEEEEEEE PIEEEEE!”

“Yes, Dan?”

Dan stopped the car and pointed to a large poster advertising the fair which was hanging off a fence. “It says here the fair is running until July! I knew that flier had to be bogus!”

“Okay, but…”

“I can’t believe we drove all the way out here just based on that stupid flier.”

“Dan?”

Dan flung a hand up in the air. “Who would even be so dumb as to print something like that!?”

“Dan!”

“But there we go, wasting almost half a day driving here under the assumption we only have one chance to go to the stupid fair full of ridiculous rides and potentially deadly food items!”

“Dan!”

Dan sighed. “We should save the fair for another day.”

“Daaaaaan Maaaaaandellllllllllll!”

“Uh, yes Pinkie?”

Pinkie’s pupils suddenly grew to the size of saucers, tears streaming from her eyes and down her cheeks as she bit her lower lip. All of this in addition to her whimpering as she turned all her features up towards their maximum heart-melting ability and directed them at Dan.

Dan grit his teeth as he felt his resolve quickly evaporate as he stared at Pinkie. He hung his head. “… I’ll go park…” he uttered.

“YAY!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“Oh! Dan! Bumper cars! Cars you’re encouraged to crash! Dan! We have to ride them.”

Dan rolled his eyes as he was practically dragged behind Pinkie as she held on to his hand tightly. “Shouldn’t you finish that massive pile of sugar string first?” He said, motioning to the item held in Pinkie’s other hand.

Pinkie stared at a giant fluffy pink mass of cotton candy as large as her own giant fluffy pink mass of hair. She slurped up her cotton candy as if she was eating a long spaghetti noodle soon all that was left was a white cardboard cone.

Dan wrinkled his brow as Pinkie turned to grin at him, cotton candy stuck to her face and teeth. He took a quick glance around the fair, it’s rides, booths selling food of almost no nutritional value, and people running around with children who seemed to drag their parents along much like Pinkie was doing to him. His eyes finally settled on a nearby bench.

“Pinkie, I think I need a break.”

“Oh… Okay!” Pinkie said cheerfully. She bounded over to the bench, dragging Dan behind her.

Dan let out a massive sigh as collapsed onto the bench. Pinkie sat next to him.

“Thanks goofball, a little fair goes a long... are you fidgeting already?”

“Na… no….?” Pinkie said as she tapped her feet, shook in place, and forced a grin onto her face.

Dan sighed. “Just go. I’ll catch up with—”

“YAY!” Pinkie cried.

Dan sighed “—catch up with you…”

“Oh, hey fried cake…” Dan heard a familiar voice call out.

Dan cocked an eyebrow as he looked up.

“I meant ‘Dan’,” Chris said as he shoved a mass of fried food into his mouth. “‘Dwan…’”

“Chris?” Dan exclaimed. “What are you doing at the fair?”

“Oh you know me… I can’t resist all the rides… and food…” Chris’s eyes wandered over to a booth selling ‘Funnel Cake’. “Mostly the food.”

Dan nodded. “Yeah, I’m surprised you’re not living here until they have to pack up… Heck, I’m surprised you haven’t tried to join the fair as a carnie. With your goofy face and crooked teeth, you’d fit right in.”

Chris glanced downwards as he felt the gap in his teeth with his tongue. “Er… So… what brings you to the fair?”

Dan rolled his eyes and motioned towards the bumper cars where Pinkie giddily bounced from foot to foot and handed a bunch of tickets to the ride operator. “What do you think? Much like you, Pinkie can’t resist all this loud, idiotic nonsense.”

“Hmmm…?” Chris said as he stared at the ‘funnel cake’ stand.

“Hey, idiot! Are you even listening?”

Chris tore his eyes from the food stand. “Yeah, Dan! The fair is pretty great.”

Dan let out an irritated grumble. “Well… I’m glad Pinkie’s having fun, but we had plans for today, you know! Plans for tomorrow, too… With everything she’s eating and with the crazy amount of energy she’s using even by Pinkie standards she’ll probably be too sore and exhausted to go anywhere tomorrow.”

“Oh?” Chris said. “Cakes like—I mean, plans like what?”

Dan shrugged. “Just Dismemberfest.”

Chris’s eyes widened as he forced a surprised look onto his face. “Oh right, is Dismemberfunnel cake fest tomorrow? I had no idea…”

Dan frowned as he stared at Pinkie. “This would have been our first Dismemberfest together…” A few wrinkles in Dan’s brow appeared as he considered something. “Though, the first time I went without you…” Dan turned to Chris. “Hey Chris, since Pinkie is probably going to be completely useless to me tomorrow, do you want—”

“Hold that thought, Dan!” Chris exclaimed as he quickly stood up and ran to the funnel cake stand.

Dan uttered a gravely, irritated sound as he stared upwards. Great… Chris is just as caught up in this stupid fair stuff as Pinkie… Now what am I going to do?

“This seat taken?”

Dan looked back down as Elise stood in front of him, a sympathetic smile on her face.

“Oh. Hey, Elise.”

“That’s it? Just ‘Hey, Elise?’ No insults? No exclamation that Chris and I should get a divorce?”

Dan shook his head. “Not in the mood. Remind me I owe you a few snide comments.”

Elise chuckled as she sat down next to Dan. “Sure, Dan.”

Dan motioned out towards Chris. “Shouldn’t you be out there being dragged to food stalls and games designed to steal your money by Chris?”

Elise cocked an eyebrow. “I could ask you a similar question.”

“Not sure if you noticed, but fairs aren’t really my thing.”

Elise nodded. “Mine either…”

“Chris! Chris!”

Elise and Dan watched as Pinkie bounded up to Chris and began dragging him towards the large metal enclosure of bumper cars. Chris protested as he waved about a paper plate piled high with funnel cake powdered with confectioners’ sugar. Pinkie grinned as she opened her mouth and began devouring the funnel cake that was closest to her. Not to be outdone, Chris started taking massive bites from the other end.

Dan cringed. “It’s like watching two slobbery dogs devour a sausage together.”

Elise shuddered as Pinkie and Chris quickly made short work of the oily cooked dough and powdered sugar before running off to the bumper cars together. “Yeah, it wouldn’t have hurt to have gone through life without seeing that…”

Dan sighed. “So instead of getting ready for Dismemberfest, looks like I get to spend the rest of today watching my girlfriend make a number of poor decisions that’ll leave her body a gelatinous, shattered wreck tomorrow.”

“Yeah… Chris pretty much ends up the same after he goes to the fair.”

Dan nodded. “Don’t I know it.” He chuckled. “One time I thought I could make some money by advertising Chris as the human garbage disposal at a fair.”

“Really? How’d that go?”

Dan grinned. “I didn’t have any trouble paying rent that month.”

Elise chuckled as she shook her head. “You two have such a bizarre friendship… I’m actually kind of sorry that he got caught up in the fair.”

“Oh?”

Elise nodded. “Yeah… He… uh… Well… Let’s just say we ended up doing this instead of him going to Dismemberfest to maybe hang out with you.”

“… Chris wanted to go to Dismemberfest?!” Dan exclaimed in disbelief. “But he hates those movies!”

Elise shrugged. “Well, I think he just wanted to spend some time with you. He’s still… adjusting to you spending all your time with Pinkie.”

“Huh…” Dan uttered. “I mean… I thought Chris and I sort of dealt with his stupid feelings there already… And it’s not like we don’t see each other at work!”

Elise gave Dan a sideways smirk. “I don’t think ‘seeing each other at work’ is quite the same as going out to do things of dubious legality… or you know… straight up illegal things… Not to mention all the movies and other things Chris misses out on.”

Dan shook his head. “He’s being a baby! So what if I’m spending lots of my free time with Pinkie! He just needs to grow up and accept that he can’t always get his way when it comes to spending time with me!”

Elise let out a short, derisive “Ha!” She shook her head. “Sure, Dan. Just like you did when he first started dating me.”

“Yeah but… uh…. That was different because… you see… Chris and I… I mean Chris and you…” Dan let out a defeated sigh and slumped forward.

For a while, neither Dan nor Elise said anything. They both sat on the wooden bench and stared out at the bumper cars.

Dan broke the silence. “… Let’s set fire to the fair.”

“Dan,” Elise said in a chastising tone, “you can’t just solve all your problems with arson!”

“History has proven otherwise.”

Elise rolled her eyes. “We can’t just set fire to the fair to get our way! IT wouldn’t be…” Elise frowned and trailed off.

“Fair?” Dan suggested with a smirk.

“Right! I was going to say ‘right’.” Elise asserted.

Dan shook his head. “Believe it or not, I have Pinkie and Chris’s best interest at heart.”

Elise rolled her eyes. “Oh, this ought to be good…”

“If we leave those two alone, they’re going to eat sugary treats and deep fried sugary treats until they both have diabetes! And while a bigger Pinkie means more to love, her having a limb amputated certainly means there’d be less to love!”

Elise cocked an eyebrow. “As much as I’d like to use that as an excuse to drag them away, I think you’re overreacting a bit.”

“What?! Me overreact?!” Dan cried as he motioned to himself.

Elise narrowed her eyes.

Dan sighed. “Alright, point taken. Still, this isn’t healthy for them.”

“Their diets already aren’t healthy!” Elise said. “As bad as this fair will be for their bodies, it’s still sort of a drop in the bucket considering how they always eat.”

Dan put on a sullen look as he propped his arms on his legs and rested his chin on his hands. “Fine, then you come up with a plan or reason to get them out of the fair!”

Elise put on a ponderous expression. “… Maybe we shouldn’t.”

“WHAT?!” Dan cried. “You just want to roll over and claim defeat?”

Elise motioned out to Pinkie and Chris as they happily crashed bumper cars with the other fair goers. “Look how happy they both are! Is it really our place to just take them away from this?”

“Yes!” Dan cried. “We’re their significant others! We know what’s best for them… Well, at least I know what’s best for them.”

Elise folded her arms across her chest. “Come on, Dan. I know thinking about anyone other than yourself isn’t easy for you, but I also know you are capable of putting Pinkie’s wants and needs in front of your own.”

Dan put on a sullen look as he stared out at the bumper cars. Pinkie giggled and laughed as she rammed her car into others and in turn was rammed into. He sighed. “Well yeah… but… but I don’t want to this time.”

Elise gave Dan a sympathetic look and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Take it from someone who knows, there’s going to be times when your loved one is going to want to do other things than the thing you really want to do…”

Dan sighed. “Well I guess I—Ow! OW! Elise, you’re squeezing my shoulder too hard!” Dan said in a strained tone.

“I know,” Elise said. “I just suddenly remembered the reason why Chris is usually doing things other than the thing I really want to do.”

“Okay, okay! I’m… cough… I’m… hrk… I’m sorry…”

Elise released her grip on Dan. “… Was the trouble speaking because of the pain, or because it was an apology?”

Dan lowered an eyelid as he pulled up a corner of his lips into a sneer. “Column A, column B.”

Elise nodded. “I thought as much…”

Dan continued to rub his shoulder as he and Elise turned back towards the bumper cars. They watched in silence as the ride ended and Pinkie and Chris quickly got out of their cars only to immediately run towards the ride’s entrance and hand over more tickets.

Elise broke the silence this time. “You know you don’t have to go to Dismemberfest with Pinkie… or Chris…”

Dan folded his arms across his chest and looked away. “Those movies aren’t any fun to watch by myself.”

Elise smirked. “I could always go with you.”

Dan turned and looked at Elise in surprise. “Wait, really? But you hate me… almost as much as I hate you!”

Elise nodded. “True, but I love horror movies!” Elise grinned. “Even the really cheap bad ones!”

Dan rubbed his chin and thought about this. “Well… It would be nice to go with someone who actually watches what’s going on instead of covering their face and screaming the entire movie…”

Elise chuckled. “I hear that…” She looked towards the bumper cars, watching Chris laugh gleefully as his vehicle was jostled. “Come on… I’ll even go with you to sort out face paints and fake blood.”

Dan frowned. “But is it really okay I go off and do something without Pinkie?”

“Dan, you know you don’t have to spend every waking moment with the girl.”

“… I don’t?”

Elise chuckled to herself and shook her head as she stood up. “You know what? I think this might be good for the two of you. Besides, knowing you two if you never take a break from one another you’ll both end up in the hospital.”

Dan stood up and grinned at Elise. “Well, you got me there…” Dan motioned towards the bumper cars. “Come on… let’s go tell those two what we’re doing and revel in the disappointed looks on their faces?”

Elise cocked an eyebrow as she and Dan began walking towards the bumper cars. “Uh… sure, Dan…”

“Wait, you two are leaving?!” a masculine voice called out.

Dan and Elise turned as Don and Elise Sr. quickly marched up to them.

“Wow Elise… you’re abandoning a day of the fair with your husband and parents to prepare for Dismemberfest? I’d be touched if I didn’t remember you hate your parents at the moment.”

Elise laughed nervously. “Heh… yeah… That’s what happened…”

Don leveled an irritated look at Elise. “I can’t believe you’d just up and abandon the plan like that!”

“Don!” Elise Sr. cried in chastising tone.

“Plan?!” Dan exclaimed turning to Elise. “What the heck is he talking about?”

Elise swallowed.

Dan narrowed his eyes as he remembered the crates from earlier, the surprise Beyblade game in the alley, and the fliers. “Elise, I am going to destroy so many of your possessions,” he growled out.

“Wait, Dan! I can explain!” Elise cried.

“What’s to explain? You obviously set this all up so you could go to Dismemberfest with me! I’d be touched if I wasn’t so weirded out right now.”

“I said she was abandoning the plan,” Don said. “Only a complete moron would want to go to watch a movie with you.”

Dan paused and thought about this a bit more. “… So this was all for Chris?!” he exclaimed. “Okay, now I’m just touched.”

Elise nodded. “He wanted to go with you, but didn’t think just asking you would work.”

Dan nodded. “And he was right! I would have laughed at him! An elaborate and convoluted plan like this was exactly the sort of thing that should have worked.” Dan glanced at the bumper cars as the sounds of happy laughter continued to pour from the ride. “Too bad he forgot he can’t resist fairs…”

“That’s okay,” Don said. “I have a plan to—”

Dan held up a hand. “Just forget it. I’m not getting sucked up into any more distractions. I’ve—” Dan looked up at Elise. –“We’ve got a movie festival to prepare for. Come on, Elise.” Dan began walking back towards the bumper cars.

“But we’ve worked so hard!” Don whined. He turned towards his daughter. “You can’t be serious about going to the movies with that… that jerk!”

“Sorry, dad,” Elise said as she gave her father an apologetic smile. She reached into her pocket and handed her father the keys to the blue sedan. “For what it was worth, it was kind of fun hanging out with you and mom like this. Sort of like an actual family.”

Elise Sr. smiled. “A family that’s not afraid to let a few things like laws and prison terms stand in the way of what they want.”

Elise grinned at her mother. “Yeah… We should do it again sometime.”

“But—” Don began.

“Oh, dear,” Elise Sr. said as she placed a hand on Don’s shoulder. “Just let it go. We can get information out of Pinkie some other time. It’s not like we desperately need the extra money or anything.”

Elise nodded. “No kidding, with what Pinkie gave to mom, you two should—”

Elise Sr. fixed her daughter with a scowl.

“Er… Have plenty to enjoy the fair together!” Elise finished.

Don put on a sullen look. “Oh… alright… Wait… Pinkie gave what to your mother?”

“Don, let’s just enjoy ourselves, alright?”

“Fine…” Don grumbled.

Elise nodded. “Well, I better catch up to Dan.”

The bumper cars once again came to a complete halt as Pinkie gripped her steering wheel tightly. Her knuckles had turned white as a massive grin seemed almost permanently affixed to her face.

“Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!” Pinkie exclaimed as she quickly bolted out of her bumper car. “This is so much fun! Let’s do it again!”

Chris chuckled as he stood up and began walking towards the ride’s entrance with Pinkie. “You know they have bumper boats here too.”

Pinkie inhaled an incredible volume of air as her already wide eyes widened. “So like… cars… but… on the water?! That’s just… I can’t….” Pinkie began to breathe in and out rapidly, her breathing increasing in both speed and volume until her eyes rolled back in her head and she collapsed to the sheet metal floor with a resounding ‘clang!’

“… Pinkie?” Chris asked in a concerned tone.

Pinkie suddenly shot straight up. “I’m up!”

“Yo, Goofball! Monkey face!”

Pinkie and Chris turned to see Dan leaning on the bars which surrounded the ride.

Pinkie quickly bounded up to him. “Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! DAAAAAAN! Ohmygosh! Thank you so, so much for taking me here! This is so much fun! We should go find the bumper boats!”

Dan stroked his chin. “Well that does actually sound pretty fun…”

“Ahem!”

Dan turned as Elise cleared her throat and walked up beside him.

“Er… but there’s been a change of plans…”

Pinkie’s eyes widened and she puffed out her lower lip. “Dan! We can’t leave the fair now! There’s still so much to do!”

Dan shook his head. “Not us… Just me… and Elise.”

“What?” Pinkie said.

“What?” Chris echoed.

Elise nodded. “You two are having so much fun here, that Dan and I didn’t think it was right to take you away from all this.”

Dan smiled. “So you two enjoy yourselves. Elise and I will get ready for Dismemberfest and you two can spend tomorrow sleeping through the food comas you’re sure to be in.”

Chris’s eyes widened in surprise. “You two are actually going to go out and spend time together?! Alone?!”

Dan shrugged. “Well, us plus a bunch of other horror movie enthusiasts.” Dan motioned for Pinkie to come closer.

Still half in shock, Pinkie slowly walked over to the edge of the ride.

Dan leaned over that bars to embrace Pinkie, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “See you when you get home, alright Goofball?”

“Uh… sure…” Pinkie said in an unsure tone.

Elise looked at Dan and Pinkie then smiled at Chris as she opened her arms wide.

Chris walked up and shared an embrace with Elise. “Are you sure about this?”

Elise nodded in Chris’s arms. “It seemed like the sensible thing to do.”

“… I can’t believe you got Dan to do something sensible.”

“Well… At least this way we all get to do something we want.”

Elise and Dan broke their embraces.

“See you later, Chris!” Elise said happily. She turned towards Pinkie. “See you soon, Pinkie!”

A confused expression on her face, Pinkie waved at Elise. “Right… bye-bye…”

“Hey Chris,” Dan said.

“Uh… Yeah Dan?”

“We should catch a sci-fi movie sometime, just you and me.”

Chris smiled. “Sure Dan, I’d like that.”

Smile on his face, Dan saluted Chris. He and Elise turned and began to walk away from the ride.

“Huh…” Chris uttered.

Pinkie quickly jumped the bars.

“Pinkie? What are you doing?”

Pinkie turned towards Chris. “Chris! Elise and Dan are going on a date together! We can’t just stand by and let that happen!”

Chris walked up to the bars, put one leg on the other side, and then exclaimed a startled “Ah!” as he fell over the side.

Pinkie quickly ran up to Chris and helped him up.

“Thanks…” Chris said as he brushed himself off. “But, I think that’s okay… I mean… we’re sort of having our own date as it is….”

“But… but… Our significant otherses are going off to have fun without us!” Pinkie cried as she reached for Chris’s wrist and began to drag him behind her.

Chris sighed as he pulled his hand back. Pinkie turned and looked at him with big, wet, concerned eyes as Chris began slowly walking away from the bumper cars. Pinkie matched his pace.

“Maybe that’s alright,” Chris said. “I mean… both of them are way more into horror flicks than either of us. While we’ll have a lot more fun at the fair.”

Pinkie’s lower lip began to quiver. “But… but…”

Chris looked down at Pinkie and smiled. “Look, I think I’m beginning to learn how healthy relationships work. I don’t have to spend all my time with Dan and neither do you! And I don’t have to spend all my time with Elise either! There are just things I don’t have in common with them, even though they’re the closest people to me. I think it’s important we both accept that and learn when it’s maybe better to give Dan and Elise space from time to time.”

Pinkie sighed heavily and looked at the ground for a moment before looking back up at Chris. "I guess you’re right… I mean, I don’t think the fair will be as much fun without Dan… but this way we both sort of get what we want.” Pinkie smiled. “I guess there really is more to being in love with someone than wanting to spend every single second with them!”

Chris nodded. “Yep!” He swung a fist in front of his chest. “Now let’s go out there and enjoy the fair for all it’s worth! We can even celebrate our new found growth as adults in love!”

“YAY!” Pinkie cried.

‘CRASHSPLOOOOOOODE!’

Chris and Pinkie jumped and turned as flaming bumper cars flew towards them, a couple only missing them by feet as they crashed into the ground. They stared at the ride they had just exited as a large winged green tyrannosaurus roared from the middle of the wreckage and stomped off into the fair. The massive dinosaur carried an incredibly ecstatic-looking Jean, a very annoyed-looking Sarge, and a rather panicked-looking Crunchy on its back.

“Yes! Wings!” Jean shouted triumphantly. “I was right this time!”

“Bros?” Crunchy said. “I like you guys, but I have some serious regrets about riding a dinosaur now.”

Tyra quickly made haste to one of the food stalls as the former occupant ran screaming away with much the other fair goers. She wasted no time in tearing the top open with her teeth then staring hungrily at the contents inside.

“Deep-fried Twinkies?!” Sarge cried in despair. “I’m trying to get Tyra on a strict, healthy diet and she’s already ruining it!”

Crunchy slid down Tyra’s tail, landing on his sandal clad feet before running up to the food stand. “I suddenly have far fewer regrets.”

Pinkie and Chris simply stood watching this unfold in front of them for a bit as the bumper cars around them continued to burn.

“Or, you know,” Chris began, “life’s kind of short and there’s a lot to be said about cherishing the time you have with your family and friends before it runs out or cut short… Like in a tragic, flying, nuclear fire-breathing tyrannosaurus accident at the fair.”

Pinkie nodded. “You’re right, Chris! That’s absolutely a thing that’s relevant to everyday living… but especially right now.”

“Dan! Elise!”

Dan stopped and turned as he heard Pinkie call out, his car keys inches away from the lock. Elise looked up as she stood next to the passenger side door of the Dan’s red hatchback.

“Pinkie? Chris?” Dan said. “I thought for sure you two would be on the bumper boats while competing for who could stuff the most deep-fried snicker bars in their mouth at once.”

Pinkie and Chris ran up to the car.

Pinkie smiled. “We decided we rather spend time with the people we love the most!”

A fiery explosion rocked the fair.

Chris smiled sheepishly. “… Because the fair’s on fire.”

Pinkie nodded. “Because the fair’s on fire,” she echoed.

Elise folded her arms across her chest and stared at Dan.

“Not my fault!” Dan said as he held up his hands palms forward.

A deep roar pierced the scream filled air.

Pinkie giggled. “Yeah… Tyra can fly now…”

“Just great,” Dan said sarcastically. “Let’s get out of here before we have to testify as witnesses.”

“Just one second!”

“Dad? Mom?” Elise asked as her parents walked up. “I thought you two were enjoying the fair… that’s on fire now, so never mind…”

Don stared at Pinkie with an irate look on his face. “Look, I’ve been dragged all over Southern California doing all kinds of crazy stuff! I think I deserve something for my trouble.”

Elise Sr. gave her daughter an apologetic look.

Dan narrowed his eyes at Don. “I don’t think you realize how happy you should be I haven’t punched you into space after all this crazy stuff.”

“Dan, it’s okay,” Pinkie said as she reached into her hair and pulled out her pink spiral-bound notebook. She handed it to Don. “Here, you deserve this. I wrote down all my recipes for everything!”

“Alright!” Don said happily. He opened the notebook. “Now we’re talk…” Don trailed off and frowned as he stared at the page in front of him. He flipped through a few of the pages. “You call this writing?! I know chickens who write more legibly than this!”

Pinkie giggled. “Sorry, I don’t have very good handwriting.”

Don narrowed his eyes at Pinkie. “You do realize I hate you, right?”

Pinkie smiled as she narrowed her own eyes. “Ooooo, I’m so scared.”

“Come on, Pinkie,” Dan said as he opened his door and sat in the car. “Let’s get out of here before the parking lot catches nuclear fire.”

“Okie-dokie-lokie!” Pinkie said happily. Pinkie quickly hopped into the passenger side of the hatchback as Chris and Elsie piled into the back seat.

Don shook his head. “What a bunch of wackos…”

Elise Sr. put a hand on her husband’s back. “Forget about it, Don. Let’s just make the most of being in San Diego.”

Don gave a defeated sigh. “Oh… alright…”

Elise Sr. and Don walked away as the red hatchback pulled out of its parking spot and drove off away from the brilliant glow of the nuclear fire that enveloped the fair.