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The Wheel and the Butterfly A Dan X Pinkie Pie Saga

by Justice3442

Chapter 173: Part 16 Chris Vs. Pinkie: Chapter 151 Pinkie Vs. Spinning Things

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The Wheel and the Butterfly

A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga

Part 16 Chris Vs. Pinkie

Chapter 151 Pinkie Vs. Spinning Things

-oooooo-

The group collectively went silent as they tried to process what Pinkie had said to them, their faces a range of disbelief and confusion as some weren’t sure if they heard Pinkie right and others weren’t sure if she understood what she just said.

Elise was the first to speak up. “You want to help us detain you so you can’t go to Dismemberfest?”

Pinkie nodded her head up and down. “Yepper! That’s exactly what I want.”

Chris and Elise cocked there eyebrows and stared at each other briefly.

“Okay, but why?” Chris asked.

“Do you think I want to sit through several hours of watching people getting cut-up?!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I can’t even sit through one of those movies without having a sore throat the next day!”

Okaaaay…” Elise said as she cocked an eyebrow. “Then why did you agree to go in the first place?”

Pinkie sighed. “Dan was just so, so, so excited about it! It’s almost all he’s talked about for the last few days! And I thought maybe he’d be sad to go without me! So I made up that whole thing about getting over my fear and said I’d go with him! Oh my gosh! He was soooooo happy! But then it began to dawn on me what I had done, and just how much screaming I would be doing, and now I need a way out!” Pinkie dug her fingertips into her cheeks as she hooked her pinkies around the corners of her mouth, tugging downwards at her face. “You hawve to hwelf me! I don’t know what to do!

Elise Sr. raised an eyebrow. “Have you just considered telling Dan you’re having second thoughts?”

Don nodded. “Yeah! You can’t seriously need some sort of convoluted plan to get out of watching a few movies!”

Chris, Elise, and Pinkie all turned towards Don and Elise Sr., blank expressions on their faces. Wordlessly they turned back towards each other and continued their conversation.

“So anyways,” Pinkie continued looking at Chris, “if you want to take my place, that’s totally okay with me!”

Chris nodded. “Alright, but we still need a plan so Dan ends up going with me instead of you.”

Pinkie gasped. “Maybe you can disguise yourself as me and we can switch places.”

Elise pulled a face as she eyed her rather tall husband and her not nearly as tall, curvy best friend. “Somehow I think Dan will be able to tell the difference.”

Pinkie smacked a fist against an open palm. “You’re right! This is Dan we’re trying to outsmart. His brilliant mind would see right through even the most cleverest of disguises!”

Elise Sr. rolled her eyes. “Plus there’s some rather obvious physical differences between you two… Just putting that out there.”

Don grumbled irritably to himself as he shot Pinkie an irritated look. “Can we get back to talking about running bakeries and deal with all this ridiculous stuff later?!”

Pinkie narrowed her eyes at Don and folded her arms across her chest. “You want my help, you have to help me!” she said.

Don sighed. “Fine… We’ll make sure you miss this… whatever it is you’re talking about and Chris goes instead.”

Pinkie nodded. “Good.”

“So…” Elise Sr. began. She motioned to the large crate that was still propped upright by a stick. “Do you just want to stand under the crate and we can trap you now?”

“Are you loco in the coco?!” Pinkie cried motioning to the crate. “I’ve already been trapped once and you’ve explained the entire plan to me! You all need to catch me unawares! Not only unawares, but surprise me too!”

“What?!” Don cried. “But… but you want to miss the movie!”

“Well d’uuuuuuuuh!” Pinkie said. “But you know the old saying, “Fool me once… Shame on… er… shame on you…” Pinkie trailed off for a bit and stared up at her eyelids as if the rest of the saying might be printed on them. “… A fooled man can’t be fooled again,” she concluded.

Don and Elise Sr. shot each other confused looks.

“I don’t think that’s how that saying goes, Pinkie,” Chris said.

Pinkie frowned. “I knew I should have stuck with ‘Fool me twice, watch it! I’m huge!’”

“Don’t worry,” Elise said as she placed a hand on Pinkie’s shoulder. “I’m sure the four of us can come up with something.”

“Pinkie?” Dan called out. “Are you over here? Are there a bunch of kidnappers I need to break out my super powers on and punch into space? Because that would be awesome~!

Eep!” Pinkie cried as she jumped slightly. “Quick! Under the crate!” She waved her hand towards the crate. “Hide, hide!”

Elise and Chris quickly ran under the crate.

Elise Sr. and Don looked at the crate and frowned heavily.

“Do we have to?” Don asked.

“Do you want my help or not?” Pinkie asked indignantly.

“Fine, fine!” Don said as he and Elise Sr. walked towards the crate. “This better all be worth it…” he grumbled to himself.

Elise quickly grabbed the stick that held the crate up. Soon the crate fell around her and the other three with a loud ‘crash!’, enveloping them in darkness.

“Pinkie?!” Dan said in an alarmed tone as he rounded a corner into the alley. “What was that?!”

“Oh that?” Pinkie replied. “I was just… Angry at the alley so I was throwing things at it.” Pinkie plastered on a nervous smile as beads of sweat began to collect on her face.

“So mad you had to just throw things at an alley?”

Erm… Yepper?” Pinkie said in a worried tone.

Dan nodded. “Well who doesn’t feel like that from time to time?”

Pinkie breathed a sigh of relief.

“Anyhow, I thought I heard other voices,” Dan said.

“Oh… Those where just—” Pinkie trailed off for a moment before a smile crossed her face “—the voices inside my head!”

Dan furrowed his brow at Pinkie. “Then how come I could hear them?”

Pinkie gave Dan a pensive grin. “Erm… Because it’s me?”

Dan frowned. “I suddenly don’t want to have this conversation…” The crate suddenly caught Dan’s eye. “Wait… Another crate?! Wow… this is more serious than I thought! Someone must really be out to get you!”

“No, Dan!” Pinkie said shaking her head. “There isn’t some sort of conspiracy to detain me so Chris goes to Dismemberfest with you instead of me!”

“… What?”

“What?” Pinkie said in the same tone. “I mean… I bet these traps are just for anyone who happens to really like candy… I mean… why would there be two crates set up just to catch me on the same day at the same time?! That would be crazy! And unlikely! And kinda improbable!” Pinkie’s eyes suddenly went wide as her shoulders slumped and she stared into space. “And I’d probably start getting kinda depressed over the fact that weird sort of stuff seems be happening to me more and more.”

Dan chuckled. “Better warn Chris there’s a serial kidnapper on the loose who uses candy as bait. He’s just hungry and stupid enough to end up under one of these then.”

A muffled protest and a soft chuckle followed by a shushing sound suddenly came out of the crate.

Dan gave the crate a suspicious look. “Did that crate just get upset? And also laugh to itself but also shush itself all at the same time?”

“Hey, you know what we should do?!” Pinkie said as she forced a smile onto her face.

Uh…What, goofball?”

Erm… I was really hoping you had an idea, ‘cause I just came up blank,” Pinkie said.

Dan smirked. “Well, I did want to go to the Mac store we passed a few blocks back.”

“Oh! You want your own computer or to upgrade your phone?”

Dan shook his head. “No. Their weird setup looks like someone tried to incorporate a bunch of gizmos with a zen garden and it’s making me angry.” Dan turned with a sour look on his face and motioned for Pinkie to follow. “Come on, let’s go.”

Dan began to walk out of the alley, Pinkie happily skipping behind him.

Several sighs of relief were uttered from the crate.

“I thought they’d never leave…” Chris said.

“Would you get away from me?!” Don snapped. “Your breath smells like bacon-wrapped road kill!”

“Hey!” Chris protested. “It’s been a long time since a squirrel got ran over in front of our house!”

“… What?”

Elise sighed. “Why don’t we get out from under the crate so we all have a bit more space to ourselves,” she said as she placed her hands one of the wooden walls. With a few grunts, Elise attempted to lift the crate, but it refused to budge. “Geez… this thing is heavy!”

“Of course it’s heavy!” Don said. “We wanted to trap Pinkie! Not just inconvenience her with something she could lift off herself.”

“Well, how do we get out?” Chris asked.

“Well we just…uh…”

Elise Sr. sighed. “Great… This is just great.”

“It’s your and dad’s stupid crate!” Elise snapped.

Elise Sr. grit her teeth. “Don’t talk to your mother that way, Junior!”

“You know, since we’re all together,” Chris began, “I think this would be an excellent time to—”

Don continued to feebly attempt to lift the crate. “If you say ‘bury the hatchet’, so help me, I’ll—”

“Actually, I’m still really mad at you,” Chris said. “And I was going to say if we get to the point where we need to eat someone to survive, I vote you first.”

“WHAT?! That’s absurd!” Don cried. “You’ve got the most meat on you!”

“Survival of the fittest, Don,” Chris replied.

“Hey! I’m in way better shape than you!”

“Yeah, but you’re way older too,” Chris shot back.

“Why you little—”

Elise Sr. sighed. “Can we please save all the bickerin’ until after we’re not trapped under a heavy crate?”

Don and Chris both began to protest. “But…!”

“Dad! Stop getting into fights with Chris. Chris, can we please save the ‘who do we eat first’ talk until we’re actually in danger of starving to death?”

“Sorry, beautiful,” Chris said sheepishly. “I’m just a bit peckish.”

“How can you still be hungry?!” Don cried. “You just ate all that candy, you human vacuum cleaner!”

“Dad!” Elise snapped.

“Oh sure,” Don replied in irritation. “He wants to eat me, and you take his side.”

Elise Sr. released a frustrated growl. “Seriously! Can we please keep it together long enough to get out of this crate?!”

“Why don’t we try lifting it together?” Elise suggested.

Don grumbled in irritation. “Or maybe we can tell Chris the crate is actually chocolate and he can eat through the wood.”

“I still vote we eat Don,” Chris said.

“REALLY?!” Elise Sr. snapped. “We can’t keep it together long enough to get a stupid crate off of all of us?”

Elise put her hands on the wall of the crate. “Come on everyone, I’m sure we can do this one thing as a family and go back to hating each other.”

The other occupants of the crate picked a wall and placed their hands on the side.

Elise began to count, “1… 2… 3… Go!”

With some effort and a few strained grunts, soon the crate was lifted off the group and thrown onto its side with a ‘crash’.

“Finally!” Elise Sr. exclaimed.

Elise shot Don and Chris a slightly pleading look. “Now before we all leap at each other’s throats, can we try to come up with an idea for Pinkie?”

“Why don’t we try a trail of pastries leading into a hole?” Don suggested.

Chris glared at Don. “Really? You went there?”

Elise sighed. “Can’t we come up with something that doesn’t involve leaving my best friend trapped and alone for an entire day?”

“Fine!” Don said in a huff.

“You know, Pinkie’s not that hard to distract,” Chris said. “Maybe we can find something that’ll keep her occupied for a long time. Remember that time when she saw the tin-foil in our house?”

>-ooooooo-<

Pinkie stared at a rectangle of tinfoil as she held the box it was in in one hand and the end of the foil in the other. “Oooooo! It’s so shiny! And reflective even!” She said as she made faces at her own reflection. Pinkie pulled out more foil from the roll and began to shake it about, making a soft roaring sound. “Hehehe… It even sound like thunder!”

Dan sighed heavily. “Pink girl, can we please just leave Chris and Elise’s stupid house already? We’ll buy you some foil on the way home.”

Pinkie gave Dan an excited look. “Can I—”

“No!” Dan snapped. “You can’t play with foil in the bed.”

Pinkie gave a defeated sigh as she placed the foil on the counter. “Oh… all right…” she said in a disappointed tone.

<-ooooooo->

Elise thought about this briefly. “Hmmm… Good, but it should be something Dan can’t just talk Pinkie out of doing or something they can’t just bring with them.”

Chris stroked his chin thoughtfully.

Elise Sr. cocked her head slightly. “Is there anything Pinkie likes doing that Dan doesn’t that requires another person? Like a sport or somethin’?”

“Hey!” Don protested.

“Oh Don, don’t get all sad and mopey with me just because you use badminton as an excuse to crush people at something you’re good at.”

Don grumbled to himself. “It’s not my fault I’m so great and everyone else is lousy at the sport…”

Elise and Chris’s eyes suddenly went wide as the stared at each other, matching mischievous grins making their way across their faces.

“I’ll make the call…” Elise said.

-ooooo-

Glass exploded outward as a thin rectangular white item, about a foot long, was thrown through a plate glass window of the Mac store. The item clattered to the ground, surrounded by tiny, sharp beads of glass that glinted in the daylight.

The door to the store opened as a pair of boots scraped against the ground, their heels dragged over concrete as their wearer was forcefully pushed from the store. The pair of boots were being worn by a very angry-looking Dan, who was being pushed by a very concerned-looking Pinkie. Pinkie had chiseled on a smile as she nervously glanced behind her at the store full of scared customers and upset employees, many of which held phones up to their ears.

“AND STOP HIDING YOUR EVIL CORPORATE AGENDA BEHIND SOME STUPID ATTEMPT AT A NATURAL-LOOKING AESTHETIC!” Dan shouted as he glanced behind him and shook his fist at the store. “It’s insulting!”

“Well, that was fun,” Pinkie said. “And very illegal…” She added as she glanced behind her. “Let’s do something else! Maybe something that doesn’t involve people calling the police on us.”

Awww…” Dan whined as he began walking for himself. “But all the best things involve someone calling the police on us!”

Pinkie nodded. “I know… but we have that movie thing to go to,” Pinkie said as she shuddered. “And even that sounds better than being arrested… or have you go all crazy with your magic, red power dealy and lay waste to L.A.”

“I respectfully disagree,” Dan said holding up an index finger. “But Dismemberfest is only once a year…” Dan stroked his chin. “I guess I can save going on a city-destroying rampage for another day… Like sometime next week.”

“Shouldn’t you hold off on that in case of emergencies? Or like… Something makes you really angry?”

“… Like dog sweaters?” Dan suggested.

Er… Something possibly even angrier than that…”

Dan dwelled on this for a moment then slammed a fist into his palm. “I got it! Those dog costumes that when you look at them from just the right angle, they make the dog look like a tiny person with an oversized dog head.”

Pinkie pursed her lips slightly. “Well… maybe we can hash out the details later…”

Uh… Hey… girl with the pink hair.” A hushed feminine voice called out.

Pinkie and Dan paused mid-stride. Pinkie looked to her left, then her right, then pointed to herself with a slightly confused look on her face. “Who, me?”

“No, Pinkie!” Dan said sarcastically. “The other girl with pink hair… Wait, why are you being accosted from an alley?”

A woman with long brown hair tied with a red bow and turquoise eyes poked her head out from an alley and gave Dan and Pinkie a sheepish look. She wore a tan sweater with dark brown sleeves and a collar, a pair of khakis that hugged her hips and went down to her bare ankles, and a pair of brown flats.

“Do you want to play with Beyblades?” she said in a somewhat reluctant-sounding tone.

As if on cue, a boy appeared with a massive smile on his face and an assortment of colorful tops cupped in his hands. He sported a head of fiery-brown hair under a white, red, and yellow beanie with a green propeller on top that spun despite no noticeable breeze. He also wore a green hoodie that prominently featured three golden triangles in the center with an emblem that resembled a bird with its wings spread wide, a pair of brown trousers, and a pair of brown sneakers.

“DO I?!” Pinkie answered excitedly.

“Pinkie!” Dan cried. “We don’t have time for this! Dismemberfest awaits for no man… or woman…”

“But Dan!” Pinkie whined. “Beyblades! They’re the tops that you battle with!”

“No, Pinkie!”

Pinkie’s eyes widened as she cupped her hands under her chin. “Pleeeeeaaase?

“I said ‘no’!”

Pinkie puffed out her lower lip. “Pleeeeeaaase?

Dan cringed slightly. “No! The puppy dog look isn’t going to do it either!”

Pinkie was quickly joined by the boy who mirrored her pleading look. “Pleeeeeaaase?” they both cried in unison.

Gha!” Dan ruffled his hair in frustration. “Look, you can’t just accept strange requests to play your stupid top game with strangers hiding in alleys!”

“They’re not strangers!” Pinkie declared pointing at the woman and the boy. “That’s Gibson’s mom and his little brother! They’re only quasi-strangers on account that we’ve never met them before!”

Dan sighed heavily. “Of course… What was I thinking…? Wait, how’d you know who they are?”

“Chris and Elise told me about them! They visited the Bakery when that ketchup-and-mustard-haired girl beat up Amber in front of the bakery. So please Dan! Can I please, please, please play?!”

Dan grumbled to himself and looked away. “Oh… alright…”

“Yay!” Pinkie and the Gibson’s brother cried simultaneously as they thrust victorious fists into the air.

“I finally get to use my new arena!” Gibson’s brother quickly produced something that resembled a large pet feeding bowl, if such things were black with golden lightning bolt designs.

Gibson’s mom cocked an eyebrow. “So Gibson has never mentioned us?”

Pinkie shook her head. “Naw… He’s usually too busy staring at my chest to talk about his family,” Pinkie said matter-of-factually as she leaned over the black plastic ‘arena’ with the golden lightning bolt design. Ooooo… The Beyblade Super Vortex Battle Set for only $39.99… Our parent company would be proud…” Pinkie pulled out a large launcher with a pre-loaded Beyblade from her hair.

One of Dan’s eyes twitched. “Remind me to trounce Gibson next time I see him…”

“Don’t worry,” Gibson’s mom growled out in irritation. “I’m way ahead of you…”

“LET IT RIP!” Pinkie and Gibson’s brother cried as they pulled on the ripcords that would get both their tops spinning.

Dan sighed heavily as he looked up at Gibson’s mom. “So… you two just wait in dark alleyways, hoping someone will come by and play a rousing and idiotic round of ‘battle tops?’”

Gibson’s mom shook her head. “Not exactly… today is a special occasion, apparently…”

“And that is?” Dan asked.

Gibson’s mom sighed and slumped her shoulders. “It’s apparently National Distraction Day…”

Huh… Fascinating…” Dan said in disinterest. “I’m surprised you just didn’t send Gibson out here for this. If I had kids, I’d certainly get them to do all the things I don’t want to do.”

“Well, Gibson was busy practicing with his band back at the house,” Gibson’s mom explained.

Hmph, I’m surprised he wasn’t out fawning over that obnoxious girlfriend of his.”

Gibson’s mom’s eyes went wide. “Gibson… Gibson has a girlfriend?!”

“You didn’t know?” Dan replied. “What kind of mother are you?”

“He’s sixteen!” Gibson’s mom shot back. “He doesn’t tell me anything! Still… I’m sort of amazed he didn’t brag to us about this.”

An evil grin suddenly crossed Dan’s face a plot most foul hatched inside his head. “Well, she looks to be about as old as Pinkie,” Dan said. “He’s probably worried you’ll get mad over all the crazy sexy sex they have.”

WHAT?!” Gibson’s mom roared.

Dan nodded. “Oh yes… Those two just go at it like weasels in heat. You practically need a crowbar to pull them off each other.”

Gibson’s mom grit her teeth as one of her eyes began to twitch. “Button, sweetie? I’m afraid we have to go so mommy can yell at your older brother.”

Awww…” Button uttered in a disappointed tone as he held a launcher with another Beyblade ready to go. “Can’t we play just a little longer?”

Gibson’s mom shook her head. “No, Button,” she said sternly. “We need to go now. It’s really important that your brother and I have a little talk.”

“Oh… alright…” Button said in a disappointed tone as began to load his Beyblade equipment into a brown backpack with a ‘D-pad’ shaped clasp on the center.

Pinkie furrowed her brow and crossed her arms across her chest. “I never get to play Beyblades with anyone…” she said in a huff as she scowled off into space.

Gibson’s mom gave Pinkie an apologetic look. “Sorry, Miss…?”

“Pinkie Pie!” Pinkie said cheerfully.

Er… Miss Pie… Wait… Really? That’s your name?”

Pinkie nodded her head up and down. “Yepper!”

“Okay… Well Miss Pie, I really should talk to my other son about this whole girlfriend thing… I’m sure you and Button can arrange a playdate for later.”

“Yay!” Button said as he pumped a fist in the air.

“Really?” Dan said cocking an eyebrow. “You named your kid ‘Button’ and you have trouble with ‘Pinkie Pie’?

Gibson’s mom shrugged. “Well… it’s more of a nickname… ‘Button Mash’.”

Dan sighed. “Why is it I suddenly know of all these people who go by their nicknames!? What happened to first names!? Is there some crazy name conspiracy no one is telling me about?”

“I really don’t have time to talk about this now,” Gibson’s mom said. “It was uh… nice meeting you two.”

“Well, it was weird meeting you two,” Dan replied as Gibson’s mom and Button walked away.

Pinkie placed her Beyblade and its launcher back in her hair and looked down at Dan. “Why’d you make up all that stuff about Gibson having crazy sexy sex with his girlfriend?” she asked. “I don’t think they’ve kissed yet, even!”

Dan smiled at Pinkie as he placed both his hands on her shoulders. “Pinkie, sometimes to get what you want, you have to stretch the truth a little… and sometimes to make sure you get what you want, you have to flat out lie.” Dan quickly took his hands off Pinkie, spun, and pointed down the sidewalk. “Now let’s go get that face paint.”

Pinkie let out a strained “Yay…” as she begrudgingly began to trudge after Dan.

Author's Notes:

Tinfoil idea courtesy of Snowy Flanks.

Next Chapter: Part 16 Chris Vs. Pinkie: Chapter 152 Gibson Vs. His Mom Estimated time remaining: 8 Hours, 6 Minutes
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