The Wheel and the Butterfly

A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga

Part 16 Chris Vs. Pinkie

Chapter 149 Chris & Elise Vs. Planning

Twilight sighed heavily as she stared at, or rather, through the old wood-framed mirror that hung on the wall of her library home.

“You know, when you said you needed our help for a ‘Pinkie situation’, this is not what I thought you meant.”

From the other side of the mirror, Elise shot Twilight a pleading look. “Sorry! It’s just that we hit a bit of a brick wa—”

Twilight continued, “It is, in fact, almost the complete opposite of what I thought you meant.”

Elise frowned slightly. “Sorry Twilight, but this is important to Chris… and by extension, me. We need peo—ponies who’ve known Pinkie a long time to help us sort out her strengths and weakness!”

Twilight motioned towards the people on the other side of her mirror. “You look like you’ve both got it figured out well enough!”

A large paper pad on a stand stood next to Elise, Chris standing on the other side. Chris held a black marker and stared at the board is if deep in thought. At the top ‘Pinkie’ was written. This was over two columns separated into a ‘Strengths’ and ‘Weaknesses’ category. The ‘Strengths’ column had ‘Unpredictable’, ‘Fast’, ‘Ice skating’, and ‘Potentially homicidal when provoked’. The ‘Weaknesses’ column had ‘Candy’, ‘Parties???’, ‘Needles’. The word ‘CRAZY!’ was scrawled at the bottom of the sheet across both columns.

“Alright,” Elise said, “but we’re stuck on coming up with a plan.”

Chris looked up. “Well we do have a plan…”

Elise rolled her eyes. “A better plan!”

“I don’t know, Elise,” Twilight said. “I know Chris’s plan sounds ridiculous, but this is Pinkie we’re talking about… it just might work…”

“See!” Chris said. “Twilight likes it!”

Twilight pursed her lips slightly. “Well let’s not be putting verbs in other pony’s mouths…”

The sound of giggling could be heard from off to the side of Twilight.

“That’s what she said,” Rainbow Dash piped up.

Laughter suddenly erupted, laughter Rainbow Dash was more than happy to lend her voice to.

Twilight turned and fired a scowl off to the source of the laughter. “Dash! Stop!” she ordered. “Spike! Stop encouraging her!”

Elise wrinkled her brow and shot an irritated glance at her wall. “Look, we’ll try Chris’s idea as a last resort, but I have some misgivings about it.”

Chris turned towards Elise and frowned. “Misgivings? Like what?”

“For starters, we don’t live in a cartoon.”

Pinkie suddenly shot upright in bed, her eyes wide, and her mop of pink curls even more disheveled than usual. As quickly as her eyes had opened, her eyelids quickly lowered as she adjusted to the sunlight that snuck into the room from between the cracks in the blinds. She held the covers to her chest, which gently clung to her shapely body. The sudden movement of both person and covers caused a few items to slip off the bed. A rubber chicken hit the floor with a soft squeak, as did a plastic spatula and an egg beater which landed against a spray can of whipped cream with a ‘clank’.

Dan, who was lying to Pinkie’s right, stirred at the sound. He scrunched up his closed eyelids as Pinkie’s movement meant a sudden increase of light on his face. From beneath the covers, he encircled his arms around Pinkie’s waist and pulled himself slightly closer to Pinkie, his nose making contact with her behind’s bare cheek.

“What’s up, Goofball?” Dan asked groggily.

Pinkie quickly darted her head to look down at Dan. “Do you ever get the feeling you’re needed elsewhere to point something out?”

Dan yawned. “Only when I feel people are being stupid… which is every second of my life…” Dan cocked open an eye and stared up at Pinkie. “But it’s too early to discuss potentially psychic abilities.”

Pinkie glanced over towards the nightstand by the bed. “Dan, it’s eleven.”

“Far, far too early…” Dan said grumpily. With his barely open eyes, Dan looked Pinkie up and down. “Why are you covering yourself up? It’s just you and me in here. I have serious doubts you have anything to hide from me at this point.”

“We’re rated teen!” Pinkie answered shrilly. “If I sat uncovered naked in bed, then that would have to be described! Then the story might need a higher rating!”

A smirk slowly oozed its way across Dan’s face, flowing with the same speed as if someone drizzled syrup on pancakes. His hands began to move down Pinkie’s body slightly. “Oh, I’ll give you a higher rating…”

Pinkie’s eyes widened again as her lips curled upwards into a goofy smile. “Da…Daaaaan~!” she moaned out in pleasure.

“Twilight,” Applejack said as she walked up to Twilight and then looked at the mirror, “Chris, Elise… Ah hate to be the rain on everypony’s shindig here, but Ah think the cow is out of milk, if ya catch my meaning.”

Rainbow Dash hovered into view, “Yeah! What weird farm thing A.J. said.”

“Hey!” Applejack protested. “You understood what I meant though!”

Rainbow Dash threw her arms out to her sides. “Sure, but it’s not like you need to come up with a weird farm thingy to say every time you need to make a point…”

Spike strolled into view. “She even used two that time!”

“See!” Rainbow Dash said. “You’re like… overwatering the apple trees… or something…”

Applejack pushed up her hat and crinkled her brow slightly. “Just leave the farm similes to the professionals.”

Twilight stared out into open space with an irritated look on her face. “Dash, A.J., stop arguing. Spike, stop helping.”

Spike frowned. “But it’s what I do!”

“I hate to interrupt,” Rarity said as she joined the group in front of the mirror, “but this is time I could either be using to catch up on orders or practice my archery…”

“Yeah, yeah,” Rainbow Dash said as she tried to sound unimpressed. “We all know you can make exploding things with your magic. No need to rub it in our faces!”

Rarity smirked. “Jealous?”

Rainbow Dash sighed and hung her head slightly. “Yeah…”

“Hey,” Elise chimed in, “why don’t we just go around one last time and see if anyone has any more ideas? Applejack?”

Applejack frowned. “Well… Ah once accidently helped make some muffins that were so bad that Pinkie got food poisoning. Ah mean… the girl will at least try anythin’…”

Chris added ‘Will eat anything’ to the list of weaknesses.

Applejack continued, “But I think food poisoning might be takin’ this a bit far…”

“Rainbow Dash?” Elise asked.

Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes at Elise slightly. “I told you already, I’m a con-scientist object-s’more!”

Twilight’s left eye twitched. “You mean ‘conscientious objector’?”

Rainbow Dash nodded. “Yeah! Egghead word thing!”

Twilight let out an exasperated sigh.

Rainbow Dash hit a forehoof against her chest. “Element of loyalty represent, yo!”

“Spike?”

“Sorry Elise,” Spike said, “but Twilight just said I wasn’t allowed to help anymore.” Spike clenched his right claws together into a fist, then rubbed it against his chest. “Yep, it was a good one, too…”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Was it Chris’s idea but in space?”

Rainbow Dash raised her forehooves to her mouth in an attempt to stifle laughter.

“Well… yeah…” Spike admitted. “How did you know?”

“You have done nothing but add the words ‘in space’ to everypony's idea since you began helping.”

“Well somepony has to think outside the box!” Spike said. “Or planet in this case… the box like planet…”

“The planet is round, Spike,” Twilight said in an annoyed tone.

Spike frowned. “Alright, yeah… I got nothin’.”

“Fluttershy?” Elise continued.

Rarity answered, “She’s still passed out from when you told her what that beastly film festival was about!”

“Wha…?” Fluttershy uttered as she groggily trotted into view. “Did someone say my na—”

“‘Dismemberfest’?” Chris asked.

Fluttershy’s eyes rolled back into her head and she hit the ground with a soft ‘thump’.

Applejack sighed and trotted off. “Ah’ll go get the smelling salts…”

Elise sighed. “Rarity?”

“I find this whole exercise deplorable,” Rarity answered.

Chris frowned. “Well, we don’t want to hurt Pinkie or anything… Just delay or detain her so Dan decides to go to Dismemberfest with me instead.”

Fluttershy whimpered softly as her legs twitched in her sleep... or unconsciousness, rather.

“Still,” Rarity continued as she glanced up from Fluttershy, “this seems like the sort of thing good friends can talk over instead of scheme behind each other’s back.”

Rainbow Dash nodded in agreement. “I’m down with a good prank and all, but this is like... not good pranking…”

Rarity chuckled. “You certainly have a way with words, darling.”

“Hey!” Rainbow Dash protested. “You don’t need to word good to know how to fly… good!”

Twilight groaned then motioned to the other ponies and the dragon. “Sorry Elise, but I think you’ve gotten all you will out of us. Now if it were Dan you wanted to help brainstorm over, that might be different.”

“I’ll say,” Chris said. “Dan has superpowers now. Who knows how we’d have to account for that.”

“Awesome!” Spike exclaimed.

“Whoa, cool!” Rainbow Dash added.

Rarity frowned. “Well… that’s terrifying.”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “Dan… Dan figured out how to utilize the energy of the Nexus?!”

Chris shrugged. “I guess so… I mean… he was angry so he punched a supervillain into space with red energy.”

Elise stared off into open air. “It was equal parts impressive and absolutely terrifying.”

Applejack trotted back into view and spit a small packet out into a forehoof. “Back. Did Ah miss anythin’?”

Rarity turned towards her. “Dan has apparently mastered the magical powers of the cosmos well enough to punch superpowered individuals out of his planet and into space,” she said dryly.

Applejack simply stared at Rarity briefly, blinked a few times, then looked down at Fluttershy who still laid unconscious at everypony’s feet. She placed the pack in the side of her mouth and bent down to loop her arms under Fluttershy’s. She began to drag the mare away. “Iw’ll juws’ rewvive Fluttershy ofver hwere…”

“Wha…” Fluttershy answered. “What… what happened?” she said wearily as she was dragged away from the group.

Applejack opened her mouth allowing the packet of smelling salts to fall out of it. “Nothin’, Fluttershy. Jus’ think about bunnies, or somethin’…”

“Oh, bunnies…” Fluttershy said in a happy, if exhausted voice. “I like bunnies…”

Twilight looked about the ponies and Spike. “I think we’re done here.” She smiled. “How about everypony gets back to their day?”

“Happily!” Rarity said with a nod as she trotted off.

“What? No way!” Rainbow Dash protested. “If you two are going to talk about Dan’s superpowers, I definitely want to be here for that!” Rainbow Dash glanced down. “Right, Spike?”

“Ho yeah!” Spike agreed as he swung a clenched claw in front of his chest. “If Dan’s some sort of magic superhero, I want to hear all about my bro’s special abilities.”

Twilight frowned. “We’re going to discuss how the magical cosmic energy of the Nexus can be transferred to Dan’s anatomy based upon the physiological and chemical changes that happen when he gets agitated and how that results in an interdimensional shift of—”

Rainbow Dash held up her forehooves. “Alright, alright Princess Egghead. You could have just said you two nerds were going to make it boring!” Rainbow Dash looked back down and began to slowly fly way. “Come on Spike, let’s leave these geeks to their charts and junk…”

“Oh, alright…” Spike said begrudgingly as he followed Rainbow Dash.

Twilight watched to the two leave the library and turned back towards the mirror. “Has Dan mastered his ability to teleport objects yet?”

“Not that I know of,” Elise said. “So far it looks like he’s only used his powers to enhance his strength at will.”

“That’s a lot of enhancing,” Chris chimed in. “I think Dan’s gotten to the point where lifting the TV remote is too much effort if someone’s there to do it for him…”

Twilight tapped the side of her chin thoughtfully with a forehoof as she stared up at her ceiling. “Hmmm… Maybe we can test his ability at some point… It might help Elise and I figure out how we can get Pinkie back here…”

Elise pursed her lips slightly. “Tempting, but incredibly dangerous given the nature of Dan’s power…” She motioned to the large paper pad next to her. “Plus I’m in the middle of something.”

Twilight sighed. “Alright, we’ll discuss it later… Good luck… I guess…” The image in the mirror flickered with a purple light before the word ‘MUTE’ appeared on it in big bold purple letters.

“She seemed kind of upset…” Chris mused.

Elise shrugged. “Eh… It’ll pass… She knows this cross-dimensional stuff is pretty dangerous… You would not believe the unworldly things that have crawled out of portals I’ve opened under the house…”

Chris’s eyes went wide. “Uh… wha—”

“Well, I guess we’re going with your plan,” Elise quickly interrupted with a nervous smile.

Chris smiled. “Great! Let’s go pick up a crate and some candy… Ooo… Maybe we can buy a crate full of candy and kill two birds with one delicious stone!”

Elise sighed heavily and smacked a palm against her face. “Let’s just… let’s just get this over with…”