The Wheel and the Butterfly

A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga

Part 15 Pinkamena Vs. Dan*

Chapter 137 D.H. Vs. Androids

A man with spiky brown hair and piercing blue eyes held a smartphone up to his face and frowned at it. He stood in a modest kitchen next to a stove with a pan on top of it and a blue box that read ‘Macaroni and Cheese’ on the counter next to it.

“Oh dear…” he uttered simply as he placed the phone back into his brown coat, which was over a blue buttoned-up shirt. A red tie hung from his neck.

A little girl with a messy mop of blond hair sighed and rolled her eyes as if she knew what was coming next. “What is it this time…” she asked as she folded her arms across her lilac-colored hoodie.

“Robots,” the man in the brown coat said simply.

“Again?!”

“I’m afraid so, Dinky.” He just shook his head and shrugged. “These things happen, you know…”

“But… But it’s macaroni and cheese night!” Dinky whined.

“I know what night it is!” The man in the brown coat sighed. “Look, why don’t I just make dinner? I’m sure your mum’s co-workers will rescue her in a jiffy…”

“But you don’t make it right!” the little girl cried.

The man in the coat looked down at Dinky and frowned. “It’s just following instructions on a bloody box! It’s not exceedingly difficult!”

Dinky puffed out her lower lip. “No!” she insisted. “Only mommy knows how to make macaroni and cheese the right way!”

The man slumped his shoulders and exhaled in a slightly defeated sounding tone. “Fine... Well… I can certainly cook the bangers better than your mum…” he said trailing off slightly and muttering, “…and without setting the bloody kitchen on fire…” He smiled and looked down. “How about I make some nice, crunchy toast and we have the bangers topped with a nice, hot can of baked beans?”

Dinky scowled up at the man in the brown coat. “Daddy, you can’t just put baked beans on top of everything and call it dinner!”

Dinky’s father gave his daughter a heavy frown. “You can do that for breakfast too, you know.”

“Ew, dad! Gross!”

“Look! There has to be something I can make for you!”

“But I don’t want something! I want macaroni and cheese!”

Dinky’s father gave his daughter a rather stern look, a look that he quickly found mirrored as his daughter puffed out her lip and glared back at him. He quickly weighed his options, pondering if he would have an easier time saving his wife from a group of robots or attempting to get his daughter to eat something besides macaroni and cheese cooked by his wife.

“Well I can’t just let you go hungry,” Dinky’s father said with a smile. “I guess we better go rescue your mum.”

“Yay!”

“And by that I mean, I’ll do the rescuing while you stay in the van.”

“Awww…”

“Well, anyways…” Dinky’s father reached into coat pocket and pulled out a set of car keys. He held them high above his head as he shouted, “Allons-y!”

Dinky shook her head as she trudged out of the kitchen. “Dad, you are such a dork!”

Gasping for breath as she forced herself into a jog around the warehouse, Sunset Shimmer made one last desperate plea for Trixie to stop running. “Stop… huff… puff… running! Just let me… huff… let me put you in a … puff… choke hold!”

A few strides in front of her, Trixie likewise jogged on out of breath. “Trixie will … huff… puff… do no such thing!”

“Uhhhg… Fine then!” Sunset cried before collapsing against a crate. “Huff… puff… Can you at least… huff… strangle yourself?”

Trixie collapsed against a wall. “Trixie will… huff… consider it… puff… “

“Wawww…” Dan uttered, talking past another dental tool in his mouth. “Iss the showw owver?”

Dr. Pullum sighed and shook his head, pulling out his dental tools.

“What’s your problem?” Dan asked as he did his best to work his numb lips up and down.

“You’re not in pain at all, are you?” Dr. Pullum asked.

Dan cocked an eyebrow. “You have me pumped full of Novocain and hopped up on nitrous oxide and who knows what else! With your white helmet, and yellow tooth… claw… thing, for a while there I thought a yellow Toad from Mario was working on my teeth.”

Dr. Pullum folded his arms across his chest and grumbled to himself.

Dan smiled. “Hey, maybe you should let the drugs wear off a bit. I’m sure I’d start feeling something then!”

Dr. Pullum sighed as he bent down to grab a small clear mask that he placed over Dan’s nose and face. He turned a knob on a nearby gas canister.

Dan’s eyes suddenly widened, quickly followed by his eyelids drifting downwards. He chuckled to himself. “It’s like all the colors are echoing!”

Dr. Pullum shook his head. “This is the worst revenge ever…”

A few dozen yards away from Sunset and Trixie, Helen and Fairy Girl sat in a couple wooden chairs around the area the table had been in before Dan flung it across the warehouse.

“Come on!” Helen cried at Sunset. “She stopped running! You can get her!”

“Can’t feel… wheeze… Can’t feel my legs…” Sunset cried as she wrapped her arms around her torso and fell over. “Running in knee-high boots was a… cough… cough… bad idea!”

Fairy Girl smirked. “Pay up,” she said as she placed a hand in front of Helen.

Helen sighed and leaned over, grabbing a large, peach-colored handbag that was set next to her chair. She quickly fished out a large red wallet, unzipped it, and then pulled a twenty dollar bill out of it. She handed the bill to Fairy Girl.

Fairy Girl grabbed the bill and with a quick twist of her hand, the bill vanished. She stood up and walked over to Trixie. “Don’t ye have another warehouse ye should be heading off towards?”

Trixie groaned and forced herself back onto her feet. “But now I’m all sweaty and sticky!”

Fairy Girl rolled her eyes. “Yee’re not putting on a show for anyone, yee’re just springin’ a trap with a buncha strange guys who really like balloons. Yee’ll be fine.”

Trixie sighed. “Why do I get stuck with a side attraction? The Grrrrrrrrreat and Powerful Trixie should be center stage!”

Sunset sat up to a sitting position and chuckled. “Sorry Trix, but a half-rate job for a half-rate magician.”

Trixie suddenly narrowed her eyes at Sunset and took a couple steps closer to her. She then bent her knees and scowled at Sunset.

“The hell is up with you?” Sunset said. “I still haven’t gotten over the whole coffee thing, you might want to keep your dis—”

Trixie suddenly snapped the fingers on her right hand as she rotated it upright, her wand appearing seemingly out of nowhere as she began rhythmically waving it in front of Sunset while mumbling something.

Sunset’s eyes went wide for a second before her eyelids drifted downward leaving her eyes in a half-opened state. She followed Trixie’s wand with her pupils back and forth as Trixie continued to murmur quietly.

Fairy Girl and Helen simply quietly watched with interest.

Soon, Trixie stopped waving her wand, stopped murmuring, and stood up with a self-satisfied smile on her face. “Well, The Grrrrrrrrreat and Powerful Trixie must be on her way!” She turned and began walking towards one of the warehouse doors. She raised a hand up to her head level and lazily waved it back and forth as she walked away. “Have fun girls!”

Sunset shook her head as she watched Trixie stroll out of the warehouse. “What the pup was that all about?”

Fairy Girl cocked an eyebrow and looked down at Sunset. “Did you just say ‘pup’?”

Sunset contorted her face in confusion. “Yeah, so? Don’t tell me they don’t have swearing in dark and gritty Tinkerbelle land?”

“Aye, we do…”

“Well then stop looking at me like I just grew a second head!” Sunset frowned and quickly raised her hands up to her head and began patting the sides of it. “That little finch didn’t make me grow a second head, did she?”

Fairy Girl and Helen exchanged glances and chuckled.

“No, you look fine,” Helen assured as she raised a hand to conceal a snicker.

Dr. Pullum glanced over at the girls then shook his head and sighed before turning back to look at Dan. “So... are you at least feeling a little discomfort?”

Dan merely looked out into space before chuckling to himself. “Hehehe… I invented the hippo!”

D.H. grunted as she forced her arms and legs to work the rowing machine. Sweat poured from her face and soaked her suit as she scanned the dingy ‘exercise’ room.

“I’m… huff… puff… wilting like a flower in August!” Crunchy cried from his exercise bike.

“Hang in there… huff… Crunchy… puff…” D.H. cried. “I’m sure someone will be here to rescue us soon…”

“I don’t think… huff… puff… I can last until… huff… puff… soon….” Crunchy made one more large exhale and slumped forward over the bars of his exercise bike.

“Crunchy!” D.H. cried. She began to increase the speed of her rowing. She glanced behind her to a meter that read ‘POWER’ above it in bright green lettering, red lights signifying the level of the meter in between ‘FULL’ at the top and ‘PAIN’ at the bottom. Despite D.H.’s frantic rowing, the lights began to dim leaving only the bottom ones right above ‘PAIN’ lit.

D.H. turned as she heard the gentle creaking of the metal door where the power cords led to. The Chris-bot walked into the room holding the metal rod on a handle. He focused his attention on Crunchy and walked up to him.

“Continue cycling,” it ordered.

“Can I… huff… puff… At least take off a layer or two… huff… puff… robo brah?” Crunchy asked.

“No,” the Chris-bot said coldly before it pressed the metal rod into his side.

Crunchy let out a pained “Arrrggggg!” as the rod made contact with him. His limbs jerked and the shackle on his right arm clinked and clanked as his arm shook about.

D.H. let out a distressed cry as she watched her friend convulse from the electricity that was shot through his body. The shackle that was around her left ankle rattled as she shifted.

The Chris-bot shifted his attention to her. “Row,” it ordered.

D.H. looked up at the android with a frightful look.

“Well, that’s hardly polite now, is it?”

The Chris-bot, D.H., and Crunchy all turned towards the entrance to the room. The man with the brown jacket stood in the doorway and smiled.

“Darling!” D.H. cried.

“Halt!” Chris-bot commanded as it held up a palm.

The man with the brown jacket raised his arms. He opened one hand wide, while the other held a long, chrome item that resembled a fat pen.

“You there…” The doctor called out, “the fellow in the fashionable pink glasses.”

“Yeah, brosef?” Crunchy said.

“Catch.” With that, the man in the brown coat tossed the chrome item over the android’s head.

Crunchy raised his hands and caught the device as it arced towards his chest. He opened his hands and looked at the device in confusion.

“Point it at your shackle and press the button on the side!” D.H. cried.

Crunchy adjusted the device in his hand and pointed it at his shackle. He pressed a button on the side with his thumb and the end of the device began to glow bright blue, and with a high-pitched buzz, Crunchy’s shackles suddenly unlocked and opened.

“Now free me!” D.H. cried. “Free me!”

The android turned back as he saw Crunchy free himself. “Stop this at once!” it commanded as he pointed an index finger at Crunchy.

The man in the brown jacked chuckled. “You really should be keeping better track of everyone here.”

Chris-bot turned just in time to get a face full of metal pipe as the man in the brown coat swung with all his might. With a loud metal ‘Clang!’ the metal pipe caught the android in the face, causing part of said face to tear away revealing a bright red eye and metal skeleton underneath that sparked.

The android twitched slightly, then extended its arms out towards the man in the brown coat.

The man swung his metal pipe a few more times at the android’s face.

‘Clang!’

‘Clang!’

With a few more hits, the android froze and toppled forward, its face a twisted mess of fake skin and bent metal. It collapsed to the ground, twitched a few times, then ceased moving.

“Where’d you get the metal pipe?” D.H. asked as Crunchy removed her shackle.

The man in the brown coat shrugged. “You know, it was just lying arou—oof!” He was cut off as D.H. half ran, half tripped into him, throwing her arms around him.

“Thanks for saving us!” D.H. cried as she nuzzled her head against the man in the brown coat’s chest.

He chuckled. “Well, I couldn’t let Dinky starve, now could I?”

D.H. sighed. “She’s so fussy…”

“That’s a new look,” the man in the brown coat commented as he looked over D.H.’s suit.

“You like?” D.H. asked as she lifted her sunglasses to get a better look at the man in front of her.

“Oh, yes!”

“Pinkie got them for us,” D.H. explained. “Someone kidnapped her boyfriend so she’s just going all out to get revenge.”

“Hmmm…” the man in the brown coat looked down at the smashed-up android at his feet. “I think I understand…”

He looked up towards Crunchy and extended a hand. “Crunchy, right? Dearest has told me much about you.”

Crunchy walked up and shook the man in the coat’s hand. “Hi… uh… You’re D.H.’s husband, right?”

D.H.’s husband nodded. “I am called ‘The Doctor’,” he informed.

“Whoa… So… ‘The Doctor’ is your name?”

The Doctor nodded and grinned. “That’s about the size of it.”

“So like… On your birth certificate it says ‘The Doctor’?”

The Doctor gave a slight nervous chuckle. “Well, it’s a bit more complicated than that, I’m afraid…”

D.H. smirked as she continued to hold on to her husband. “Oh, like you’re one to talk, Crunchy.”

Crunchy gave D.H. a friendly smile. “Alright, statement retracted…”

D.H. looked up at The Doctor. “Dinky in the van?”

The Doctor chuckled and nodded. “Brilliant deduction,” he frowned. “We’ll be lucky if she doesn’t pull out the CD player and convert it into some sort of disc thrower…”

D.H. chuckled and stepped up onto her tip-toes as she wrapped her arms around The Doctor’s neck. “A little bit more time won’t hurt…”

The Doctor closed his eyes as D.H. pressed her lips against his and kissed him passionately.

Crunchy averted his eyes from the happy couple and stared out the entrance to the room. “Uh… dudes?” he said. “I think evil-robot Elise is after us, and she’s got a lot of ripped-looking friends.”

The Doctor and D.H. turned and looked out the door as the Elise android marched forward with about a dozen tall muscular-looking men behind her of different skin tones.

The Doctor ran up to the door and quickly slammed it shut. “The sonic screwdriver, quick!” he called out.

“Huh?” Crunchy asked.

“The thing he gave you!” D.H. cried.

“Oh… right…” Crunchy handed the chrome ‘sonic screwdriver’ to the Doctor, who quickly fiddled with it then pointed it at the space between the metal door and its frame. He pressed a button on the device and a bright blue light shined, once again accompanied by high-pitched whine. The metal of the door and the frame began to glow red and wrap as The Doctor ran his sonic screwdriver over the gap. In almost no time, the metal began to fuse as the knob turned and the door shook.

“That should hold them,” The Doctor said.

‘BANG!’

The door budged outward, bulging slightly under what was no doubt the hit from an android.

“… For about a minute…” The Doctor added with a frown.

“That room, quick!” D.H. cried as she raised her index finger.

“That’s a wall, dearest,” The Doctor informed as he reached his hand out for D.H.’s arm and gently moved it so it was pointing at the room the power cords lead into.

D.H. sighed. “Lousy lazy eye…”

Crunchy ran past the couple into the room. The Doctor and D.H. quickly followed, the Doctor grabbing his now-bent metal pipe off the floor along the way. Crunchy slammed the door behind them and the room went dim, lit only by a couple light sources towards the back of the room.

The Doctor handed the metal pipe to D.H. and pulled his sonic screwdriver out. He pointed the device at the side of the door, the end of the device glowed bright blue again as door and frame became one.

The sounds of metal hitting metal and even metal tearing could be heard from outside the door.

The Doctor leaned up and shook his head, placing his device back in his coat. “Well if that door won’t hold them for long, this one certainly won’t either.” He quickly looked about the room, noticing shelves full of large rectangular and box-shaped devices with cords of various sizes plugged into them, tubes going from one device to another, and analog readouts on the front. He kneeled down and unplugged several cords from one of the larger, box-shaped devices. With a grunt, he pulled it from the shelf and placed it in front of the door.

“Here!” The Doctor said as he looked up at Crunchy. “Help me barricade the door!”

Crunchy nodded, and soon he and the Doctor began unplugging wires, decoupling tubes, and stacking the heavy items on top of each other against the door ashe muffled banging continued outside.

“We just unplugged a bunch of their gizmos,” Crunchy said. “Shouldn’t they be stopping?”

D.H. quickly scanned the shelves of technical, if agedapparatuses. She shook her head. “Looks like this stuff isn’t in use at the moment, must be their old equipment.” She kept looking over the shelves until she noticed a lone computer monitor with a keyboard and mouse in front of it at the end of the room. D.H. smiled. “Here we go…” she said as she walked up to the monitor, set down the pipe, and placed her hands on the keyboard.

Crunchy and the Doctor continued stacking equipment, moving onto a new stack as their first one reached to the top of the door.

“Having any luck, dearest?” The Doctor asked as he hefted another antiquated device into place.

The computer buzzed angrily at D.H. as she typed away on the keyboard. “Grrrrr… I just keep trying to open a command prompt, but I’m missing the keys! Why can’t my body ever do what I want it to do?!”

The Doctor looked over at D.H. and pursed his lips slightly, then at Crunchy. “I’m afraid you’ll have to continue reinforcing the door alone for a bit. She needs my help.”

Crunchy saluted. “I won’t let you down, Mr. Doctor.”

The Doctor chuckled. “I’m sure you won’t.”

D.H. held her tense hands over the keyboard. They shook as she slowly attempted lowering digits onto keys and attempted to hold them in place. She suddenly felt something warm press up against her as hands slid over and down her arms. She relaxed as the Doctor’s fingers were interlaced on top of her own and shivered slightly as he whispered “What keys do you need to press?” softly into her ear.

D.H. smiled. “Control-Alt-F1”

The Doctor maneuvered both his and D.H.’s hands over the keyboard and pressed the keys as requested. The screen suddenly went dark and a bright green cursor blinked in the upper right hand corner.

“Now what?” The Doctor said, his voice very audible.

“P, W, D, enter…”

Soon D.H. was rattling off letters and symbols. The Doctor’s and her fingers became a blur over the keyboard.

Crunchy watched with quiet entrance as he continued heaping electronics against the door.

‘BANG!’

The three jumped slightly and looked at the door with the equipment piled in front of it.

‘BANG!’

The equipment vibrated slightly and some of the higher placed items began to lean forward.

‘BANG!’

“Dearest?” the Doctor said. “I think we’re running short on time.”

‘BANG!’

“I know! I know!” D.H. cried. She continued rattling off letters and symbols.

The pounding stopped briefly as there was the sound of hissing, like gas escaping from a confined area and then a muffled ‘Boom!’

“Got one!” D.H. said triumphantly.

“What did you do?” Crunchy asked.

The Doctor turned and smiled. “She sent a command via the central server here to increase the internal operating temperature of one of the individual android units so the water in its galvanic cells would turn into hydrogen and— Mphph Mmmm Mpgh!”

The Doctor quickly found himself cut off as a hand was placed in front of his mouth.

D.H. peeked past her husband and smiled. “I overheated one until its chest exploded,” she explained as she removed her hand from The Doctors mouth.

The Doctor looked down at his wife and frowned slightly. “I was about to say th— Mphph! Mphph? Mmmmm…”

The Doctor found himself cut off again, this time by the much more pleasant alternative of D.H. pressing her lips against his.

D.H. slowly lowered her heels back to the floor as she held onto the Doctor’s coat tightly. She gave the Doctor a wry grin. “No you weren’t.”

The Doctor smiled back and opened his mouth, but was cut off once again.

‘BANG!’

‘BANG!’

The group looked back at the door as the banging resumed, this time in a much harder and quicker pace than before.

‘BANG!’

The Doctor and D.H. turned back to the computer, and D.H. once again began rattling off keyboard keys as the Doctor’s and her hands flew over the keyboard.

‘BANG!’

Soon there was another ‘hiss’ quickly followed by another muffled ‘Boom!’

‘BANG!’

But the banging continued.

‘THUD!’

Crunchy stepped back as one of the pieces of equipment fell from the top of its stack and hit the floor. He quickly pressed his body against the stack in a desperate attempt to keep it balanced upright.

“Uh, dudes?” Crunchy said. “I think they’re getting through.”

“Dearest?”

‘BANG!’

“I don’t think you’re going to explode—”

‘BANG!’

“—all those androids before they get in.”

‘BANG!’

D.H. sighed.

‘BANG!’

“Fine!” She huffed out. “We’ll send a command to shut down the central control server.” D.H. began rattling off more letters, numbers, symbols, and keys.

‘BANG!’

‘THUD!’

Another piece of equipment toppled to the ground, narrowly missing Crunchy’s feet.

‘BANG!’

The Doctor glanced behind him. “Crunchy, why don’t you step over here before one of those stacks falls over on top of you.”

“Uh… Sure, brah…” Crunchy said as he cautiously backed away from the stack of equipment he was holding up and walked over to the Doctor and D.H.

‘BANG!’

‘BANG!’

‘THUD!’

‘BANG!’

A stack of the equipment fell over with a ‘CRASH!’ as metal bent and plastic broke. A beam of light shot into the dim room as the bent metal door was pushed open and more equipment toppled to the pile on the ground.

“Uh… Dudes?” Crunchy said in a worried tone as the androids began to force the door open and push the piles of heaped electronics aside.

“We’re working on it!” D.H. cried.

With one more loud ‘CRASH!’, the door was flung open and androids began filing in, the broken equipment in the ground putting up little resistance as they marched forward.

D.H. continued rattling off commands to the clicks of the keyboard.

Crunchy raised his arms in front of his face and backed away slightly as a dark-skinned, muscular android reached out for him.

There was a loud ‘hum’ followed by silence.

Crunchy parted his arms and jumped slightly as he noticed an outstretched hand inches away from grabbing him.

“Don’t worry!” D.H. said. “We shut down the main control server!”

Crunchy tapped a finger against the side of an android’s head as it simply stared off into a space Crunchy no longer occupied. It remained motionless even as Crunchy waved a hand in front of his eyes. “So, that’s it?” he asked.

“That’s it!” D.H. announced cheerfully.

Crunchy scrunched his brow. “Not that I want to harsh this awesome mel we got going, but couldn’t you just have told him what keys you wanted to press?”

D.H. grinned. “Yes, but it’s more fun the other way…” She looked up at the Doctor lovingly. “And it’s nice to feel my body is cooperating for a change.”

The Doctor leaned down and kissed D.H. on the forehead. “Happy to be of help, dearest.”

Crunchy tilted his head slightly, looking past the couple to the large screen on the machine behind them. “What does ‘Re-routing control to backup server’ mean?”

D.H. frowned and turned back towards the machine. “I means I still have work to do.”

The androids that had begun to file through the mangled door started to twitch as their eyes began to shift and locate their targets once more.

“Dearest? I think we better get going…”

“No wait! I can fix this!” D.H. said. “Just… help me shut down the backup—”

The Doctor grabbed D.H.’s arm. “Don’t be foolish! We need to go, now.”

“But—!” D.H. protested as the Doctor yanked her away from the computer and dragged her past the androids as Crunchy followed. The androids turned their heads and reached out for the three as they passed. Slowly, they began to trudge after them.

Author's Notes:

Trixie's little hypnotizing idea courtesy of Tired Old Man.

The Doctor's physical look is based off a humanized Doctor Whooves to keep inline with the other characters. His personality is modeled after 'Doctor Whooves & Assistant' and probably a bit of the 10th Doctor.