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The Wheel and the Butterfly A Dan X Pinkie Pie Saga

by Justice3442

Chapter 113: Part 11 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Distractions: Chapter 101 Elise Vs. Fun Date

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The Wheel and the Butterfly
A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga
Part 11 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Distractions
Chapter 101 Elise Vs. Fun Date

-ooooooo-

With a quick chop to her target’s neck, the cement truck driver’s eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed to the ground in a heap. Elise quickly followed this up by grabbing the unconscious body and hauling the man out of sight behind a large pile of gravel.

Chris merely looked on in confusion with his one uncovered eye as he tried to grasp the situation. Well, I guess I should be used to watching her do this. I mean… she certainly doesn’t hesitate to get violent if she thinks it’s the quickest solution. That’s how she handled my old boss Mr. Zimmerman… Especially Mr. Zimmerman who probably would have helped us if asked nicely. Still I guess this could be considered her showing restraint.

Elise reappeared from behind the gravel pile holding aloft a set of keys. She looked up at Chris and smiled. “Come on! Date night is just getting started.”

Chris hesitantly made his way over to his wife and the truck she was standing in front of him. The sun was getting closer and closer to the horizon, but as late as it was, the spring evening was still bright. This seems a bit extreme for one trip to an-all-you-can eat buffet… but Elise did immediately start planning date night as soon as we got home... Guess she has something else in mind besides dinner in a movie…

“Hurry up!” Elise cried as she threw a duffle bag into the cab of the truck and climbed in after it.

“Sure, Elise!” Chris said as he quickened his pace. He made his way to the truck and climbed into the passenger seat, following this up by fastening his seatbelt.

“Everything okay?” Elise asked in a concerned tone.

“Sorry,” Chris offered, “I guess I wasn’t expecting date night to begin with you dispatching a random truck driver.”

“Don’t worry! It’ll all be worth it!” Elise insisted. “You wanted a fun date, and that’s exactly what I have planned!”

Chris flashed his wife a skeptical look. “Fun for who, exactly?”

“Trust me!” Elise insisted. “Everything I’m doing is designed so you will have the best date you’ve ever had!”

“I’m a little concerned about this design part.”

Elise frowned. “You think I’m micromanaging?”

“Uh… are we being honest with each other as a couple?” Chris asked in an unsure tone.

Elise sighed. “Never been particularly great at being honest, but I’m definitely willing to give it a shot if it means saving our marriage…”

Chris’s skeptical look quickly changed into full blown surprise. “You think our marriage is at stake?”

“Well, yeah…” Elise admitted. “I mean, you have lots of examples of me physically harming you, or allowing you to become physically harmed…” Elise glanced at the cab’s ceiling for a second. “Or even just not really doing anything about you being physically harmed.” She sighed and shook her head before she continued, “Even I have to admit that sounds pretty serious.”

“Well, it is…” Chris said. He smiled, “But it means a lot to know you’re working on it.”

Chris words did nothing to improve the look on his wife’s face. “That’s just it… what if just working on it isn’t enough? What if after everything I’ve done, and everything I’ll probably still do, you get sick of me and leave?”

Chris’s surprised look returned. “Elise, I had no idea you were worried about this!”

“Sorry,” Elise said as she turned and stared out front. “Like I said, I’m not so great at being honest and open… it’s just that…”—Elise turned back to Chris with a somewhat pleading, loving expression—“you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I don’t think I treat you that way.”

Chris’s face flushed red and he glanced away for a split second. “Really?” he asked.

Elise reached her hands over and grasped Chris’s. “Really,” she said with a nod. “I guess it just took me seeing another happy couple to remind myself how happy you make me.”

Chris paused briefly as he considered this. “…Dan and Pinkie?”

Elise nodded. “I know their relationship is a bit… strange, but they’re just so comfortable with each other.” She sighed before continuing to speak, “Before I was enamored with the idea of those two becoming a couple and now that they are I’m actually kinda jealous…”

“So the whole couple’s therapy thing…?”

Elise shook her head and waved a hand about dismissively. “I honestly was trying to help those two, or at least I thought I was. But after watching them sort out a lot of their own issues and seeing Amber try to help them, I’m kinda thinking those two might be better off working stuff out on their own.” Elise blew out a quick gust of air. “I’m not sure anyone is really capable of understanding their own relationship beyond them at this point.”

Chris knitted his brow and thought about this. “Yeah, they both live in their own little world alright. Plus, I’m not sure if they’re as destructive individually, but splitting them up just makes it seem like they’ll have an easier time covering more ground.” He paused and turned back to Elise. “Anyway, I can understand being jealous of them but…”— Chris looked around the stolen truck the couple was in— “rampant crime isn’t exactly the part about their relationship that makes me jealous.” Chris stared up briefly as flicked his palm up offhandedly. “I mean, I already have that with Dan.”

Elise chuckled. “Don’t worry, this quite a bit different from a standard Dan vengeance run.”

“How so?” Chris asked.

“Well, it’s all for you instead of all for Dan, for starters.”

Chris smirked. “You have my attention.”

Elise gave her husband a wry grin. “I’m afraid the rest is a bit of a surprise.”

Chris frowned. “Unexpected heap of bacon surprise, or we’re going to end up in jail surprise?”

Elise rolled her eyes but kept her smile. “Should be much closer to the former.” Her expression suddenly turned a bit more serious. “I do need to blindfold you, however.” She gulped as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a blindfold. “Do you trust me?” Elise asked in an unsure tone as her expression turned pensive. This is it… if he says ‘no’, then maybe our marriage really is in a state from which there is no reco—

“Of course, beautiful!” Chris said almost immediately.

Elise smiled and breathed a quiet sigh of relief as she tied the blindfold around Chris's head. She pressed her lips against Chris’s and felt him return the gesture as he too, parted his lips slightly. Elise felt some of tension drain from her as her husband lovingly kissed her back. She broke the kiss and looked forward, a hopeful smile on her lips. Don’t worry, you got this. No one knows Chris like you… not even Dan. Elise started the truck, put it into gear, and pulled away from the cement factory.

-ooooo-

Chris grinned eagerly as he heard the truck’s engine quiet and felt the vibrations of the truck stop. “Can I take off my blindfold yet?”

“Not yet!” Elise said sweetly. “I just need to make one more quick stop. Here…”

Chris heard a quiet click right before the truck cab was filled with the sound of an electric guitar blaring away. He smiled. “I love this song!”

“Good!” Elise said. “Just sit here and enjoy some music… I’ll be right back…”

Chris smiled. “Alright, honey!”

Chris heard the door close as the music began to pick up in tempo. He smiled to himself as he raised his fingers and began to move them about as he played air guitar to the song that was booming from the truck's speakers. He began to sing along as he attempted to mimic the sound of a guitar, “Nernernernernernernerner…”

‘Thud!’

“Aaaaah! Please! Stop! I’ll do whatever…”

‘Thump!’

“.. Whawhawhawha!” Chris continued to sing, oblivious to the pleading voices and sound of violence around him.

“That doesn’t bend that way!”

‘Crack!’

“AHHHHH!”

“Wheeeereeeerewnerenernerenrerner…” Chris paused as the door suddenly opened. “Elise?”

“PLEASE! You have to help me! There’s some sort of ninja on the loose and… MMMMPHPH! MMMmmm….”

“Hey, Chris!” Elise called out. “Just uh… just organizing one more thing for our big date.”

“Uh… sounds… intense…” Chris said tentatively.

“Not really,” Elise replied. “I mean… aside from the one security guard, no one here really knew how to fight.”

“… What?”

“Oh nothing!” Elise said as Chris heard the truck engine turn on. “Just one more thing and we’ll be on our way…”

-ooooo-

“Alright,” Elise said as she turned off the truck engine, “you can take off your blindfold.”

Chris unwrapped the blindfold and his eyepatch-free blue eye adjusted to the light as he enthusiastically looked around. “Hey! My favorite all-you-can-eat buffet!” His smile fell ever so slightly. “But I don’t see why we needed the truck…”

Elise smiled. “Don’t worry, you will…” She undid her seatbelt and exited the truck cab. “Shall we go?”

Chris nodded as he also exited the truck. “Sure, darling.”

Elise quickly walked up to Chris and slipped her hand around Chris’s, interlacing her fingers with her husband's. They made their way to the restaurant’s glass- double door entrance.

The couple made their way inside, paid the cashier, and found a nice cozy booth to sit at in the bustling restaurant. Soon Chris had piled a plate high with unhealthy food items including a large stack of bacon and returned to the table.

With a smile on her face, Elise raised an eyebrow. “You do realize you can make more than one trip, right?”

Chris chuckled. “Sorry honey, guess it’s been so long since I’ve been here I got a little carried away.”

Elise shrugged. “It’s alright… OH! I think it’s time for your surprise! Wait here!” She quickly stood up and made her way towards the restaurant's entrance.

“Sure, beautiful.” Chris grabbed a handful of bacon and stuffed it into his mouth. “Mwo pwowblem…

At the entrance, Elise opened the doors and propped them open as she walked back towards the truck.

Chris continued eating and soon the sounds of a constant beeping from a truck backing up began to sound off. The beeping grew louder as the cement truck backed up almost right into the restaurant entrance, its chute actually going beyond the double doors and pointing into the restaurant itself. Concerned murmurs began to float out from the other restaurant patrons. However, Chris continued eating, oblivious to the noise and unusually close truck.

The concerned murmurs turned into shocked gasps and panicked cries as the lid on the chute opened and a viscous brown substance poured out into the dining area. People screamed and fled for the emergency exits as Chris finally looked up and watched the substance ooze closer to him. His eyes went wide, not in horror, but in disbelief. No… it can’t be… There’s no way this is really happening!

Smiling, Elise emerged through the restaurant entrance and trudged through the substance in wearing pair of high hip waders.

“Elise!” Chris exclaimed. “The restaurant is full of soft serve, chocolate ice cream!” He began to tear up. “It's like… it’s like all my dreams are coming true!”

Elise beamed. “Of course, handsome. What do you think I filled the truck with?”

Chris gasped as realization set in his face. “You did all this for me?!” he asked.

Elise nodded.

Chris leaned down and dipped the bacon in his hand into the ice cream below and scooped up a sizable amount of the soft substance onto his makeshift, meaty spoon. “Elise… I know I don’t say this often enough... but I love you. You’re best wife a man could ask for.”

Elise beamed. “Thanks Chris. I’m just lucky to have such a loving husband in my life.” She closed her eyes, pursed her lips and leaned forward.

Uuhhh… swoory, hwoney…

Elise opened her eyes to see Chris had just stuffed the ice-cream covered slab of bacon in his mouth and was now vigorously chewing it. She smiled and lightly pressed her lips against Chris’s anyhow.

-ooooooo-

The group was silent as Elise finished her story with the exception of a low, constant growl from Amber.

Elise pursed her lips as she looked across the room. Amber’s fuming, no surprise there. Looks like that was a bit much for the Goodhills, but I'm guessing they rarely, if ever resort to violence. Jennifer and Jason seem pretty unnerved, too, but they always struck me as rather normal. I wonder how Dan and Pinkie—

Dan slowly raised his hands and began to slowly clap them together.

Pinkie beamed and also began to clap her hands. Chris joined in.

“Well done!” Dan said with a smile. “Now that sounded like a fun date. Violence and property destruction.”

Pinkie giggled. “Teehee! I know, right?! Truck full of ice-cream?!” Pinkie gave Elise a wry smile. “I think I might just have to take that one from you.”

Elise smiled warmly back at her friend. “It’s yours.”

“Awesome!” Pinkie exclaimed happily.

Dan frowned. “You do realize that might actually kill me, right?”

Pinkie smirked. “I’m sure I can figure out a tasty, lactose-free substance to fill a truck with…”

Wide-eyed and pale-faced, Jason stared at Elise from his desk. “Uh… how are we… how are we supposed to react to any of that?” he asked the people sitting around him.

“I’m not sure, honestly…” Jennifer added. “I thought Elise was the sensible one out of those four…”

Flynn shook his head. “They’re all insane. Especially Dan.”

Jean continued to stare at the other couples across the room from her, her eyes focusing on Pinkie. “That poor, sweet, girl… Maybe someone needs to do something…” she murmured.

Flynn looked over at his wife. “You think so?”

Amber cleared her throat causing the group to focus on her once more. “So… let me get this straight…” she said as she rubbed a tense palm across her face. “You assaulted a truck driver, stole a cement truck, rampaged through a soft-serve ice cream factory, stole several hundred gallons of ice cream, then filled a restaurant with said ice cream.”

Elise beamed. “I did, and it was totally awesome!”

“Yeah!” Chris agreed. “Talk about going above and beyond to make a man feel special.”

“But… SHE… I MEAN…” Amber said in an angry frustrated tone as she flailed tense hands out in front of her. “THERE WAS JUST SO MUCH WRONG WITH ALL OF THAT!” she cried.

“What?!” Elise said in a protesting tone. “I admitted quite few of my shortcomings as a wife and treated my husband to a night he loved! That’s got to be a total relationship breakthrough! And you’re mad at me despite the fact that this should count as a total success on your part?!” Elise held out her hands palm up in a frustrated manner. “What do you want from us?!”

“Here, here!” Dan cried in agreement.

“Oh, I don’t know…” Amber said as she rolled her eyes and held up her hands in an exaggerated shrug. “Maybe that the four of you CONDUCT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WHILE ADHERING TO THE LAW AND NOT BEATING PEOPLE UP?!”

Dan, Pinkie, Elise, and Chris all exchanged glances… or rather Dan, Pinkie, and Elise did. Chris simply managed a somewhat-confused expression as his double-eyepatched face drifted left and right.

Pinkie began to giggle. “Hehehe… Good one! You had us going for a bit there…”

“Uh… Goofball?” Dan said. “I’m pretty sure Amber is serious.”

Pinkie immediately put on a serious expression. “Oh… that’s uh… really sad, actually…”

Elise looked over at Pinkie then back to Amber. “Yeah… I’m with Pinkie on this… I mean, I know you’re still just getting to know us, but you’ve had to figure out there’s some things about us that aren’t going to change.”

Amber cocked an eyebrow at Elise which, combined with her already rageful countenance, made her expression a soul-searing glare. “So you’re basically saying that it’s impossible for you four to conduct your lives in a way that doesn’t result in rampant law breaking.”

Elise glanced over at Pinkie. “Pinkie, how quickly did you give up on trying to get Dan to not break the law?”

“Oh geez…” Pinkie said as she tilted her head back to stare at the ceiling and tapped a finger against her chin thoughtfully. “Maybe like… a day after I met him?!”

Dan smiled. “She actually helped me commit assault and theft less than 24 hours after we met!”

Pinkie motioned to Dan. “There you go. I mean… you can’t really stop Dan… I’ve found it makes more sense to try and direct him away from acts that harm innocent people…” Pinkie frowned. “And even then there’s no guarantee that’ll happen, either!' Pinkie paused and added, “… He’s like a force of nature!”

Chris nodded. “Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

Elise spoke up, “Anyways, it was your session that got me thinking about all this.”

Amber’s left eye began to twitch almost violently. “What?” she said through clenched teeth.

Elise nodded. “I mean… I sat here and listened to how Dan and Pinkie’s date went and how much fun they had and you’re the one who convinced me that I kept dragging Chris along on things I wanted to do!”

“You weren’t supposed to combine those thoughts into an evening of gluttonous crime!” Amber exclaimed as she threw her hands up in the air.

Dan frowned. “What’s wrong with using us an example for a fun night out? We’re awesome!”

Pinkie nodded. “We totally are!”

Amber shot Dan and Pinkie and angry glower and an equally angry growl that silenced the two. She turned back to Elise. “Besides, you’re now feeding his eating addiction.”

Elise rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. “Uhhh… yeah… about that…”

>-ooooooo-<

“Almost ready?” Elise asked as she poked her head into her and Chris’s bathroom

“Just about, honey!” Chris said happily as he stood in front of the bathroom mirror, wearing a towel around his waist and nothing else. He grabbed a metal aerosol can that was devoid of a label and lifted his arm, giving it a healthy spray before repeating the same motion on the other arm. “Man! I can’t wait to hit the buffet, I’m starving.”

Elise sniffed the air. “Uh yeah… I’m actually famished now that you mention it. Maybe we should hit a drive-through first…”

Chris’s face lit up. “A drive-through and buffet?! That sounds like a dream come true! Let me just make myself a sandwich… we still have an entire loaf of bread, right?”

Elise knitted her brow at Chris then glanced down at the can in his hand. “Uh, Chris? Can I see that?”

Chris handed the aerosol can to Elise.

Elise stared at the can as she rotated it around in her fingers. “Why isn’t their a label?”

Chris shrugged.

Elise raised the can up to her nose and gave it a sniff. Her eyes suddenly widened and as her pupils dilated. Without thinking she raised the can up to her mouth and attempted to sink her teeth in.

Clank!

“Whoa!” Chris exclaimed. “I know you’re hungry, but metal is pretty inedible even by non-food standards.” Chris pointed out the door with his thumb. “I mean… after many failed attempts at chewing it, I had to a chart that covers that and everything. Want to see?”

“Ow…” Elise uttered as her eyes returned to normal and she rubbed her jaw. “Why’d I do that?”

“Uhhh… I don’t know,” Chris said. “Though something about that deodorant makes me really hungry.”

Elise’s eyes widened as she examined the can once more. “Chris! This isn’t deodorant! This is a canister full of a chemical that stimulates the desire to eat! It’s designed to be used in warfare to disrupt a population’s supplies by making them consume all their resources faster than they can produce new ones! Where did you even get this?!”

Chris stared back at his wife blankly. “You just left it next to some groceries when you came back from work one day. I just figured you got me a new deodorant you wanted me to try.”

Elise looked down at the can in her hand. “Oops…”

<-ooooooo->

Dan rolled his eyes. “Typical. Once again all the problems in your life are your fault!”

“Hey!” Elise protested. “I apologized to Chris after that.”

Chris pointed his eyepatch-covered face in a Danward direction. “Yeah! I mean… after the chemical shower, that is.”

“Uhg, you’re hopeless,” Dan said. “She’s not only exposed you to dangerous chemicals, but you had to suffer the cleanup afterwards and you’re still leaping to her defense!”

Chris’s mouth widened into a mischievous grin. “Oh, it wasn’t so bad…”

Dan cocked an eyebrow. “Being blasted with high-pressure water had a positive aspect to it?! Geez, you really are as dumb as you look.”

Elise shot Dan a wry grin. “I was exposed too, so I got in with him.”

Dan cringed. “Thanks for sharing you two. I needed an image to haunt the corners of my mind and make me cringe at random intervals during the day.”

Elise rolled her eyes. “Oh, like that’s nearly as bad as some of the stuff you talk about you and Pinkie doing!”

Jean’s eye twitched at the word ‘bad’, but she said nothing.

Pinkie uttered a high pitched squeal of girly delight. “EEEEEEE! My best friends’ marriage is healthy again, AND Dan and my relationship is better than ever!” She smiled and looked at Amber. “And we owe it all to you…” Pinkie frowned. “You know… except for the parts you wear completely wrong about… like obeying the law…”

Amber glowered at Pinkie.

“…Also the fact that your advice didn’t help Dan and I… like… at all… I mean… we worked out most our problems ourselves…”

Grrrrrr…

“Also… we kinda pointed out Elise’s problems before she even spoke to you… so I mean… I guess you only get partial credit there…”

Amber began to grind her teeth together as her growling increased in volume. “GRRRRRRRRR

Also, Chris’s issue turned out to be easy-peasy to fix once Elise figured it out, so you didn’t do anything there, either…” Pinkie paused as her look turned confused. “What exactly have you done for us?”

Amber looked a Pinkie with a bright red face that quaked with rage as both her eyes twitched angrily and a large vein began to throb on her forehead.

“Uhhh, Pinkie?” Dan said. “Maybe you should let Amber do some of her chanting and drink some of her tea.”

Pinkie turned towards Dan. “I thought you said that chanting stuff was stupid and didn’t work anyways?”

“Uh… guys?” Elise said in a worried tone.

Dan nodded. “Well, yeah. But Amber sometimes fools herself into thinking it works and adds her rage to the deep, hidden, ball of fury inside her where it can fester quietly as a mental illness… it’s either that or she…”

AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!” Amber roared as the frustration from dealing with her new set of couples finally brought her to the boiling point.

Dan frowned. “We should probably go…”

Pinkie stared up at Amber with wide, fearful eyes. “Eeep… Yeah I think… I think that’s a good idea…”

Dan stood up and pointed towards Elise. “Elise, grab Captain Blindy of the Gravy Seas.”

“Way ahead of you,” Elise said as she quickly stood up and helped Chris out of his desk.

Likewise, Jean stood up. “Now Amber, you know all this anger isn’t healthy. I suggest you take a few calming breaths, find your center, and we can all calmly get through this.”

“Uh, honey?” Flynn said in an unsure tone. “I’m not sure now is the time to…”

Amber shifted her attention to Jean and picked up her chair. She approached Jean slowly as she focused eyes full of rage and hate at the glasses-wearing hippy.

“Good idea!” Dan said as he pointed an index finger at Jean. “While you remind Amber how much she dislikes you, we’ll make our escape!” he added with a smile as he pointed to himself with his thumb. “Now if anything should happen to you… we’ll be far, far away!”

The attention no longer focused on her, Pinkie quickly sat up from her desk.

“Uh… Amber?” Jean said in a concerned voice. “Remember to step outside yourself… see the moment from a fresh perspective… and also please put down the chair.”

Amber continued to approach Jean menacingly.

“Jean, darling?” Flynn said. “I don’t think meditation and herbal tea are going to work this time...”

Jennifer looked over the unfolding scene with concern. “I think I might need to start taking my gun to group therapy…”

Jason cocked an eyebrow at his wife. “What is it with you and your gun?”

Jennifer frowned. “I just really haven’t had an opportunity to use it…”

Elise grabbed Chris’s hand and bolted for the door. Chris followed as best he could but ended up slamming his face into the wall.

‘Thud!’

Ooooow!” Chris exclaimed as he rubbed his face.

“Ooh… Sorry, honey!” Elise exclaimed as she helped Chris through the door.

Dan stood up and grabbed his desk. He started to drag it after him.

Pinkie looked at Dan with a panicked expression. “What are you doing?!

“Buying us some time!” Dan replied. “Go!”

“No! I won’t leave you!” Pinkie cried as she her eyes began to well up with tears and she wrapped her arms around Dan.

Dan cocked an eyebrow at Pinkie. “The door is literally a few feet away! Just step through it!”

“Oh… hehe… right…” Pinkie said as she let go of Dan and stepped outside.

Dan dragged his desk through the classroom entrance and quickly stepped back in to grab the door’s knob and close it shut. He then jammed the desk against the door knob on the outside to hold the door shut. He leaned against the wall and wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand.

‘BANG, BANG!’

The group collectively flinched as someone pounded on the door.

“Wait!” the group heard Jason call out. “Let us out!”

“THERE’S NO TIME!” Dan cried.

“But she’s got a CHAIR! AHHHHhhhh!

‘THUD!’

“What just happened?” Chris asked.

“I saved us!” Dan cried. “That’s what happened.” He looked up at Pinkie and Elise and noticed the girls were both giving him a disapproving look. “What?!”

“Dan!” Elise said. “Did you really trap those four inside with an enraged couple’s counselor?!”

“Obviously!” Dan replied as he narrowed his eyes. “You’re welcome!”

Pinkie opened her mouth and began to speak, “Dan I’m—”

A series of loud noises, angry roars, and panicked shouts rang out from the classroom.

“RAAAAAAAGH!”

‘CRASH!’

“AAAAAAH!”

“Grab the sharpened pencils! We’ll fend her off with those!” The group herd Jennifer cry.

But we’re pacifists!” Flynn protested.

Not if you want to LIVE, you’re not!” Jennifer retorted.

Pinkie’s eyes widened as she listened to the sounds of violence that emanated through the classroom door. “—strangely okay with what you’ve just done,” she concluded.

“What?!” Chris cried. “What did Dan do?!”

“Uh… save us,” Elise said. She looked at Dan and smiled. “Thank you.”

“Thanks, Dan!” Pinkie said cheerfully as she wrapped her arms and her boyfriend.

“It’s what I’m here for,” Dan said with a smile as enjoyed the feeling of Pinkie wrapping herself around him.

The two couples walked away from the classroom and made their way down the school hall.

Weelll, that was fun!” Pinkie said in a chipper tone.

Dan rolled his eyes. “Only if you consider angry shouting and assault and battery ‘fun’…” He paused and thought about this. “Huh… I guess it was fun…” He knitted his brow and looked up at Elise. “But we don’t have to go back, right?”

Elise cocked an eyebrow at Dan as she walked hand in hand with Chris. “Preetty sure Amber might try to kill us if she saw us again.”

“Yeah… not so fun…” Pinkie said.

The group exited the elementary school into the warm, bright Southern California day school as Elise helped her husband down the school steps.

Pinkie wrapped her arms around one of Dan’s. “Anyhow, I think we fixed pretty much all our couple’s problems…” Pinkie grinned mischievously. “What do you think snukiki—”

Dan quickly pressed a finger against Pinkie’s lips. “You finish that sentence and I’ll break your jaw just so I can have it wired shut,” he said in a threatening tone.

Pinkie giggled nervously. “Hehe… right…”

“On that note,” Chris began, “you two want to arrange some time away from each other with us? Possibly something that doesn’t break the law?”

Dan and Pinkie exchanged a quick glance and shook their heads.

“Maybe later, monkey-face,” Dan said. “I just want to snuggle on my big easy chair with Pinkie in front of the T.V. at this point.”

Elise chuckled. “I can’t believe I just heard Dan say with word ‘snuggle’ without spitting or coughing.”

“THERE’S NO LAW THAT SAYS I CAN’T SAY CUTE WORDS!” Dan cried.

Pinkie giggled. “Hehe… I don’t mind. Though…we really need to get a new couch… ” She frowned. “And hold a funeral for the old one…”

“I know, right!” Dan exclaimed. “That couch had been just like a couch to us!”

Pinkie grinned and tightened her grip. “Not that I mind how cozy the chair is…”

Elise rolled her eyes. “Alright you two, I think even I’m starting to hit some sort of lovey-dovey threshold over here. We’ll see you two later.”

The couples quickly said their goodbyes and parted ways. Heading to their own vehicles.

Unbeknownst to them, Jean peered at the couples through the classroom window, paying close attention to Pinkie. “Don’t worry…” she murmured out as her eyes narrowed. “We’ll get you away from that madman…”

‘CRASH!’

“JEAN! How’s the tea coming along?!” Flynn cried out. “As sharp as these pencils are, we’re having trouble dealing with the reach on the chair!” he said as he, Jason, and Jennifer shielded themselves with their free hands and attempted to fend Amber off with their sharpened #2 pencils.

“Just another minute!” Jean cried as she glanced at a coffee maker as hot water continued to drip down into a mostly empty coffee carafe.

GRRAAAAAARRRRRRGH!” Amber cried as she swung her chair back and forth at the other people in the room.

“We don’t have a minute!” Flynn replied and a slightly panicked tone.

Jennifer turned towards her husband as she continued to wave a sharped pencil about. “You know, I’m actually wondering if Amber is a bit of a genius here…”

“What?!” Jason exclaimed in disbelief. “How can you possibly think that?”

“I definitely think your anger issues aren’t such a big deal in the grand scheme of things,” Jennifer replied.

“Huh… good point,” Jason said.

Amber took a swing with her chair that knocked the tip off Jason’s pencil.

Jason gave a startled yelp as he looked at his makeshift weapon. “AH! NOT a good point! Cover me Flynn, I’m going for the sharpener!”

Flynn quickly stepped in and pointed his sharpened pencil at Amber menacingly with Jennifer as Jason made his way to the sharpener and Jennifer continued to brew a calming batch of chamomile tea.

Author's Notes:

Kodus to Sebazu for the 'deodorant' idea.

Next Chapter: Part 11 Dan & Pinkie Vs. Distractions: Part 11 Epilogue Estimated time remaining: 24 Hours, 4 Minutes
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