Well derp.

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I had Esmerelda drop me in front of the castle gate. The guards opened the gate for me and I strode in confidently. I entered through the two huge doors that led into the castle. There were two guards waiting inside. I turned to the one on the right.

"Excuse me, I would like to speak with Celestia. Could you tell me where she is?"

"Do you have an appointment with her for an audience?" He grumbled stoically.

"Nnnnope. Just wanna speak with her."

"I'm afraid I can't let you see her."

"Well, I need to speak with her. It's very important."

"Is there a monster you can't defeat outside?"

"Somewhere I'm sure..."

"Don't get smart with me! Is half, all, or part of Canterlot on fire?"

"No..."

"Is the world coming to an end as we know it?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"Then I'm afraid you don't have a good enough reason to see her without an appointment."

"..." I pulled out my phone and called Luna.

"Oh! Greetings Sharky! I was just about to send thee thine payment!" She was on the moon again.

"You know, I've been meaning to ask. Why do you spend so much time on the moon when you just got out of being imprisoned on it?" Luna looked around for a second.

"I... Don't know... I suppose 'tis more of my home then the world below nowadays..."

"Well... that's sad... Anyway, I need your help." Luna rolled her eyes.

"Of course. Thou never calls to simply say hello."

"... Hello. Now, where is your sister? I need to speak with her. Urgently."

"I believe 'Tia is holding court at the moment. What is so important?"

"Holding court? Is somepony in trouble?"

"No, court is when we hear the complaints of our denizens and do our best to aid them."

"... Do you mean 'we' as in 'I' or as in you and Celestia?"

"Tia and I, of course! Now, what was so important?"

"I uhh.... just need to find out where I can pick up some eggs..." Luna gave me a questioning look, but I hung up on her before she could ask any more questions. I looked back to the guard. "I need an appointment to go to the court?"

"That is correct sir."

"What if I just bust both of your heads and walk in?" The guard flinched and gulped.

"I... uh... I guess it's ok if you go in..." I gave him a confused look as him and his partner stepped out of the way quickly.

"Uhh... thanks I guess..." I started walking down the long hall. At the end of the hall, there were two gigantic double doors with a huge flank line of ponies leading away from them. They were all dressed in fairly nice looking clothing. I wouldn't normally find this odd, but ponies never wore clothing. "Whoa! Line!" A few of the ponies heads turned to me. "Oh crap..." They all gasped and a few of them ran over to me.

"H-hero! You're the hero!"

"Hero, I need your help!"

"No, I need his help! There's a giant r--"

"Well, my town is under assault from a--"

"No! My city is going to be wiped out by a pack of--"

"Wait! All of your cities are under attack?!" I shouted over the crowd. The few ponies still in line were staring at me, but they hadn't moved.

"No, my city is in a small drought. I'm just here to ask for rain from Cloudsdale." One of the ponies in line responded.

"We just had a small earthquake. I'm here to get help with repairs." Another one in the line added.

"Ah, I see. Only those with monster based problems ran to me." The ponies around me sheepishly nodded.

"... Well... I wish I could help all of you... but... As you can see..." I indicated my various bruises and burns. "I'm pretty banged up right now. I need to get a healing potion and talk to Celestia about something very important before I can actually be of any use." The ponies around me all took on a crestfallen look. Their shoulders and ears drooped as a few of them sighed.

"Oh... w-we understand hero... Sorry to bother you..." One of them mumbled as they trudged back to the line. It broke my heart to turn them away, but I knew that I wouldn't actually be of any help in my condition. Hell, I was barely sure about what I was doing now. The ponies all grudgingly returned to the line. I stood at the back of the line, and waited.

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Sunday, January 27th

"Next!"

"Zzzzz..."

"Next!!"

"Waagh!" I woke up with a start. I had literally fallen asleep while standing in line. All the ponies in front of me were gone, and a white pegasus in the standard golden armor was waving me into the gigantic doors. "Oh, sorry! What time is it?!"

"I believe it's just past midnight. Now, are you going to talk to the princess or lay there like a dope?" I stood up and walked into the giant doors. There was a huge red carpet leading to a giant staircase. At the top of the staircase, Celestia was standing in front of two huge thrones. One black and decorated with stars, the other golden and decorated with painted flowers that were all the colors of Celestia's mane. There were pegasus guards lining both sides of the carpet, and two on either side of Celestia. The moment Celestia saw me, she gasped.

"Sharky?! What are you doing here? Are you here to adress a problem in Ponyville? No, surely Twilight would have written to me about anything like that..."

"Nope, I'm not here about anything in Ponyville." I started walking towards the staircase.

"Why are you here then? Not that it isn't nice to see you, but this court is reserved for those with pressing matters." I reached the base of the stairs and knelt in respect. "Now, now, none of that. Rise Sharky." I stood back up.

"Actually, I am here to adress a pressing problem." Celestia raised her right eyebrow at me.

"Really? Who do you speak for?"

"I speak for all those dragon children you've been forcibly kidnapping." Celestia's eyes flew open and she rocked back into a sitting position. All the guards gasped audibly.

"Out! All guards, leave this room NOW!" Celestia yelled harshly. The guards practically tripped over themselves trying to run out the doors. One of the guards next to Celestia literally tripped and fell down the stairs.

"Heh, that's funny shit. Oh hey, you need help up?" I asked the guard as he tumbled to my feet. He shook his head and scrambled away from me quickly. The guards all ran out nd quickly pulled the doors shut behind them.

*BOOM* The echo of the door slamming shut echoed through the now mostly empty room.

"Now, tell me exactly... what the problem is..." Celestia said lowly. She started trotting down the steps to me.

"You have no right to kidnap the children of a race just because you defeated them in warfare. I want you to release them." I stood steadfast even as Celestia stood only a few feet away from me. The overwhelming force and amount of her magic swelled over me like a tidal wave, trying to force me down. I held strong and tried to block it the best I could.

"You think it is wise to go against my decisions?" Celestia got right in my face, her nose inches away from mine. I looked her dead in the eyes, returning the firey determination in her expression ten fold.

"Wise, no. The right thing to do, yes. I should be scared right now, but I've almost died too many times today to care." Celestia snorted, blowing warm air over my face.

"So that is the Steven Luna told me about..." Celestia held my gaze for a few more seconds, then her expression softened and she backed away. "Good, your determination is strong. As to the issue of the dragon eggs, you are right Sharky." At this, I faltered a little.

"I... I am?"

"Yes. I despise the whole buisness. I had hoped Esmerelda would go to you and tell you of this. It seems I was correct." Now I was just shocked.

"... If you hate this, why do you do it?!"

"I have no choice Sharky. You must understand, Equestria is under constant threat. I protect my little ponies by being a rough, firm leader as far as all outsiders are concerned."

"Oooohhhh... So, you must keep taking eggs to look like you still have power over the dragons." Celestia nodded sadly.

"I do. I wish it wasn't necessary, but the moment I show weakness or kindness to another race, we could be thrust into war once more. It is something I wish to prevent with all my heart."

"I understand... the moment you stopped taking from the dragons, some enemies would see it as weakness and start a war..." Celestia nodded again.

"I can't let that happen. It would be horrible for my little ponies... I'm afaid I can do nothing about this..." Celestia's eyes widened and she quickly rushed into my face again. "But you! You!" She said excitedly.

"W-what about me?"

"If you do something, I don't risk looking weak! Sharky, I have an important assignment for you!"

"Ah crap, sounds like work. What? Anything to help!"

"You! I need you to steal the eggs! One lone thief taking the eggs couldn't be interpreted as weakness of my rule!"

"You need me to what?"

"Don't you see?! If you take them, peace can remain stable, but I don't have to keep these eggs just for them to be experimented on!"

"Y-you want me to rob you?"

"Yes! Of course! Will you do it?!"

"Uhh... Stealing! Fuck yeah I will!"

"Good! Now, the eggs are kept in the top of one of the three towers in the east wing."

"Wait, one of the three? Which one?" Celestia shrugged sadly.

"It changes every day and I don't bother to keep track of them. I've no idea which one they've placed it in today. You see, dragon eggs are very valuable. They're moved every day to prevent theives from stealing them for a profit. Luna and I assign new guards to protect and move them each day. Only our most trusted knights and guards are chosen."

"Well... How am I supposed to even get into the towers?"

"Suppose I had a watch change and somepony just happened to slip through unnoticed?"

"Well, judging by the fact that this appears very well guarded, I'd say that this somepony better be good at defending themselves."

"Something tells me that this somepony will be just fine. So, will you help me Sharky?"

"Sharky White, theif extroardinare, at your service, princess." I joked. Celestia chuckled.

"Very good. Now, remember. The guards in the towers won't move. If you can... and hate myself for saying this... rough up... a few of them to make sure this looks like a robbery..."

"I am on that shit! Uhh... Ok Celestia... if it's necessary..."

"Good... Please, follow me."

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"Well... How do I get myself into this crap?" I was laying on the roof of the main part of Canterlot castle, facing the three east towers. I had decided to go for the first tower in front of me. They were all lined up straight, and I didn't want to run around the towers and waste time. There were three guards on each tower, two pegasi in front and a unicorn on top. They hadn't moved for the entire time I had been here. Celestia had taken me to a passage to get me up here, and she promised four guard changes. Three for me to check each tower if needed, and one more to get away. I was a little worried about fighting Luna and Celestia's top guards, but I was more worried about hurting them than fighting them. Then, as if they were automated, the guards started moving. The unicorns were retrieved by the pegasus guards, then they all started trotting towards the bulk of the building which I was on top of. As soon as they were under the part of the roof I was laying on, and stood up and leapt off the ledge. I landed and rolled forward silently, right behind the last pegasus. Luckily the snow was silencing my movements. I ran forward to the nearest tower quickly, desperate to move while I could. I reached the first tower. It had a handle just big enough for a hoof to fit through. I grabbed it and pulled on it.

Locked.

Crap.