Suddenly I was buried in a pile of mares. I could feel their hooves all over my upper body, but luckily my entire lower body was protected by armor. I was more worried about them ripping my shirt or cutting themselves on my blades than anything else. I had been knocked to the ground, not by the mares tackling me, but a unicorn had knocked me to the ground with magic. I couldn't see anything other than brightly colored sides, flanks, and the occasional face of the writhing mares. Oh, and plot. Lots of plot. I flipped my hands over so that my blades were pinned against the ground and tried to think of a way out of this without hurting anypony.

I am not calling Luna for this. Celestia that would be akward... Ok, it seems they can't seem to figure out pants, so I'll be ok for a while. They took my sword, so I can't just shove them all away with the flat of the blade... I can't use thundraga to scare them off, there's a roof over us... Right then, I could feel magic start tugging on my armor. I pressed my lower body against the ground as hard as I could. Crap! Think time over! Uhh... I... guess I have no choice...

"Oooh! I almost got him..." One of the mares on me said excitedly. I brought up my hands as fast as I could, throwing two mares off to the side. I heard the smack against the wooden patform and I flinched, but the rest of the mares remained focused. I sat up as fast as I could, rolling a few mares to the side. I pulled off my right glove, then used my right arm to smack most of them away from me. They all flew off me in the direction of the blow, almost colliding with the benches. The magic cut off instantly. The unicorn had been one of the ones I had hit. I was still surrounded by mares, but none of them moved towards me.

"H-ok. Let's stop that right now. Oh good! Look, I appreciate the interest, but NOOOO. You disgusting mares will never be good enough for me. You all seem nice, but' I'm not like that. Please don't do that." One of the mares nearest to me managed to speak up.

"W-what? You mean you didn't come here for--"

"Rutting? No. I'm here to get to Stalliongrad and fight a dragon." I said simply. The mares all seemed a little upset. Another mare on my left spoke up.

"Oh... Sorry... we just thought..."

"Oh, I get it. Single guy, moderately well known, shows up in a town apparently meant for... yeah... Like I said, I get it. I'd prefer to not discuss this again. This has been an... eye opening experience however..."

Apparently, mares can like humans! Well... maybe just these fanmares though. I'm sure it's not all mares... I thought ruefully as I thought about my friends. Yeah... just friends...

*CHOOOO CHOOOO* A train whistle interrupted my thought process.

"Oh, look. A train. I problably have to go. Please give me my sword so I can leave." A few of the ashamed looking mares on my left stepped gingerly apart, revealing my Buster Sword behind them. I stood up and walked over to it. I slipped on my right glove and I lifted the sword up in my right hand. Then I slung it over my shoulder Cloud-style.

"W-we're r-really sorry hero..." The ticket mare spoke up directly from my right side. I turned to look at her.

"No, it's ok, I understand."

"Oh, thank you for being so gracious hero..."

"Don't mention it."

"No, I really mea--"

"Seriously. Never speak of this. Any of you." I gestured around the crowd. "This never leaves us. I won't say anything, you won't say anything, got it?"

"... What if we do?" Another random mare asked.

"I'll sick Steven on you. I'll rip out your damn spine and use it to rape you before I pull out your skull and beat you to death with it." All of the nearby ponies gasped in fear. The brakes of a train squealed as it pulled into the station. "In case you couldn't tell, that mean voice that I assume just spoke was Steven. He's not the same as me."

"Train to Stalliongrad! All aboard! Oh, no passengers again cause there's a dragon and we continue to waste time with these trips? Good, bye." A green stallion unicorn in a blue uniform stepped out of the lead train car and very sacrcastically announced the train's purpose. He finished and turned to trot back into the train when I shouted after him.

"Wait! I need to board that train!" He turned back around.

"What kinda crazy idiot goes to a town under dragon att-- oh hey! It's you!"

"Yes yes, it's me. Whatever. Here, here's my ticket." I handed him the small slip of paper I had recieved from the ticket mare.

"Oh! Of course." He levitated the ticket out of my hand. "Please, follow me!" He stepped onto the train and I turned around to adress the crowd again.

"Thank you all for your... eager... hospitality. It was a pleasure to meet you." With that I turned back to the train and stepped on board. The stallion led me through a few cars of the train before he stopped at a car consisiting of beds lining the left and right sides of the car. All the beds were bunk beds and were made with plain white blankets and sheets.

"Here hero! You can stay here until we stop at Stalliongrad! Lucky for you that you caught this train! This is our last trip to Stalliongrad!" The train's whistle blew and I could feel it set into motion.

"What do you mean last trip? I've got to go back home!"

"Whoa whoa, easy friend! I mean our last trip until the dragon is gone! After you beat it, I'm sure our train'll be up and running again!"

"Well where will it be until then?"

"Well, after we get to Stalliongrad, we'll go back to the very beginning of our normal route, so just one town behind this one. If you get the dragon, we should be running that same day. Assuming the news reaches us."

"So that means, even if everything goes smoothly, it'll be at least three days until I get back home? That's assuming I beat the dragon almost instantly, and that's assuming I can beat it at all."

"What? You doubt yourself? You're supposed to be the great hero! I'm sure you can do it!" I snorted.

"Yeah, thanks. Well... If you don't mind, I'm gonna catch some z's." I gestured towards one of the beds.

"Oh, of course! Can I get you anything else before I go?" I put my sword down and crawled into the nearest bed, I had to curl my legs into my chest to fit.

"Well, a bigger bed would be fantastic... but no, other than that, I'm fine." The stallion started looking nervously from side to side. Then he let out a sigh.

"Well... I'm not supposed to do this... but you are our only passenger... and you're the hero so... Follow me." He turned and waved for me to follow him. I un-wedged myself from the bed and stood up to follow him. I grabbed my sword and started after him. He led me through a few more cars, until we reached an extravagant looking car with decadent decorations, a large, plush bed, and a window with violet curtains drawn over it. The walls and floor all appeared to be furnished with the same carpet, so the car was fuzzy and soft all along it. The bed had fluffy red blankets and more pillows than I would think anypony could ever need.

"Wow! This looks... soft."

"I'd hope so. This is one of our first-class cars. I'm normally not allowed to let a passenger use these unless they pay for them. Seeing as how your our only passenger, and it's... well, you, I don't think anypony will mind."

"Oh... are you sure?"

"Of course! Please, I insist you make use of this room."

"Well... Ok. Thank you very much sir!"

"Not a problem! Now, if you'll excuse me..." He turned and walked back out of the car. I propped my sword up in a corner and took off my gloves. I set my gloves down on the floor next to the sword and walked over to the bed. I gently climbed into it and laid down on top of the blankets.

It was awful nice of him to let me use this room, I'll try not to mess up the bed too much so he doesn't have to deal with it... Man, three whole days away from everypony... at least... Assuming I live in the first place... At this I took the time to actually consider what I was doing. Basically this is a suicide mission. I really don't think have any chance against a gigantic, flying, fire-breathing lizard. I may be strong now... but not that strong. Well, maybe I can pull it off. I doubt Luna would send me on a mission if she thought I had zero chance to succed. I nodded my head assuredly. I would survive, Luna knew my limits... maybe. I shrugged and closed my eyes to sleep.

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I woke up to the sunshining on my face. The stallion was in my room, and he had drawn back the curtains to reveal that the sun was now relatively high in the sky, but still visible through the window. If I had to guess, I'd say it was either almost afternoon, or just after. Depending on whether the window faced east or west. Assuming we were headed north, which we should have been, and since the window was on the right side of the train car, it had to be almost afternoon.

"Good morning hero! Well, more like afternoon, but that's beside the point. Here, I took the liberty of bringing you some breakfast!" He levitated me a tray with some toast, scrambled eggs, and a half grapefruit. There was a glass of orange juice as well, and a fork and spoon. I grabbed it from his aura.

"Wow! Thanks! That's awfully nice of you!"

"Nonsense, it's my job!"

"Well, thank you! Thanks for waking me up ya bastard. Now I gotta beat you to death." The stallion's eyes widened and he started cowering slightly. I groaned. "Did I just say something mean?" The stallion nodded fearfully. "Look, if my voice changes and I say something mean, it's not really me. I've got two personalities. The one that says mean things isn't the real me."

"O-ok? I g-guess that m-makes sense..."

"Yeah, sorry about that..."

"Right, no problem." The stallion regained his composure. "Can I get anything else for you sir?"

"No, I'm fine. Thank you."

"Very well. I'll be back to check on you later."

"Ok, bye!" The stallion walked out of the car and I dug into my breakfast. Within a few minutes, I had finished all the food and drained the glass of orange juice. "Wow, I was hungry. No shit Sherlock." I sat back and contemplated what to do next. I was basically on a train for the next 24 hours with nothing to do. Not even really anypony to talk to. "Oh, I'll call Daring! I haven't talked to her in a while..." I pulled out my phone and hit Daring Do's call button. An image faded into view. All I could see was water and steam. "Hello? Daring are you there?"

"Waagh! Who's here?"

"It's me, Sharky!"

"Oh, Sharky! Hi!" The steam seperated for a moment and I could see that I had called Daring while she was in the shower. A deep blush spread across my face.

"O-oh... Y-you're taking a s-shower... My bad, I'll call back later..."

"No no, it's fine. What's up?"

"Fine?! You're taking a shower!"

"Yes, and?"

"N-naked..."

"You mean like I am all the time? Oh yeah, how horrible." She was heavy on the sarcasm. The blush faded from my face.

"Oh... Oh yea... Forgot that didn't really matter to you ponies..."

"Why? Does it matter to your kind?"

"Yes. A lot. This would be considered very bad if you were a human."

"Why is that?"

"Well... humans are more guarding of their... physical properties..."

"Why? Everypony has the same anatomy..."

"Don't ask me to explain it, it's a cultural thing I suppose."

"Oh, I see. Well, why did you call?"

"I'm on a train to Stalliongrad to fight a dragon, but the trip is going to take a whole day. I've literally got nothing to do."

"Oh, so you only called me out of sheer boredom?"

"Well... I would call more often, but I'm always so busy."

"Eh, I understand, I'm busy all the time too. As a matter of fact, you caught me during my only down time."

"Well... lucky me."

"So, I've heard you're the hero of Equestria now, what's that like?" I groaned.

"It sucks like you wouldn't believe. I can barely go anywhere without being mobbed."

"Aww... I'm sorry. I thought it woulda been more fun."

Not really... Well, I'd love to talk more Daring, but to be honest talking to you in your shower is very weird for me..." She laughed.

"That's ridiculous. Oh well, to each his own I suppose. Call me again sometime soon Sharky!"

"Will do Daring. Bye!" I hung up and the steam filled screen faded to my contact list. "Huh... I suppose I could call Twilight..." I hit the call button for Twilight and she popped up on my screen. She was sitting on her haunches in the kitchen, cradling Unity in her forehooves and magically holding a bottle up to him. "D'awww!" Twilight jumped and almost dropped Unity.

"Whoa! Who's there? Spike?" Twilight looked around wildly until her gaze settled upon a floating magic image of me. "Sharky? You don't have a horn right now! How are you--"

"Magic phone. I added you to the call list before I left."

"Oh yes, the blue light you used to distract me and make your escape."

"Yeah... Sorry about that. You wouldn't have let me go unless I tricked you."

"With good reason! This is a suicide mission Sharky! Why would you take it?!" Unity continued drinking the bottle. This time, instead of drinking the milk or the bottle down, he seemed to be sucking the empty space out of the bottle. With every drink he took, the milk had expanded until the bottle shattered all over Twilight and himself. "Ugh! Unity!"

"Hey, don't yell at him! It's not like he means to do it!"

"Oh... I'm sorry, I'm just mad at you, and I guess I acidentally took it out on him... It won't happen again."

"I don't care if you're mad at me! You don't yell at my son!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!"

"Where's Fluttershy? I think Unity need some kindness. Obviously it's not gonna come from you!"

"Hey! Calm down! I only yelled once! It was just an accidental outburst of excess anger you always seem to give me!"

"You know what? I'm forgetting why I thought calling you was a good idea! I want Fluttershy to take care of Unity until I get back. Oh, by the way, it'll take at least three days for me to get back. Goodbye. Well, this is funny."

"Wait! Sharky! I'm sorry!" I paused.

"Me too. I'm just stressed too. You don't have to give Unity to Fluttershy, but I would like it if she was there to help."

"Ok... you're right... I'm sorry I was so upset... I'm just so worried for you..." Twilight mumbled. I thought for a moment.

"Me too." With that, I hung up and started thinking about the dragon.