"Hey! Do all snowmen do that Sharky?" Sweetiebelle asked as the snowman started to rise off the ground. I couldn't explain Unity to them, so I had to lie.

"Ummm yes. Yes they do all come to life..."

"Happy birthday!" He shouted again. His voice sounded off somehow...

"We get it!" I turned away from the snowman. "You girls should get inside. It's cold out. Don't want you catching a cold."

"Awww..." They let out a collective whine.

"Happy Birthday..." This time the snowman's voice came out as a low demonic grumble. I turned around to look back at it. My jaw dropped. The snowman's ruby eyes were glowing bright red, and his sapphire teeth had extended into a fanged maw. He had increased in size to where he was now taller than me. His branches had elongated and the hand had grown into a hook-fingered menacing fist. Thick legs had grown from the snow and he took a heavy step towards me.

"... Oh dear god... Fuck yes! A fight! Girls, go inside. NOW."

"S-sharky... Is THAT supposed to happen?" Scootaloo whimpered. I placed Unity on Applebloom's back.

"No! All of you, inside NOW!" I commanded. They all ran away into the boutique, leaving me with a still growing demonic snowman. "Ok... here we go..." The snowman's glowing ruby eyes locked onto me.

"Happy birthday..." He swung his right branch at my head. I duck and rolled backwards. As soon as I was clear I pointed at his head.

"Thundraga!" Black clouds formed and a bolt shot into the snowman's head. His head deformed instantly as the snow melted. He fell forward onto his knees and then his upper body slammed into the ground as well. "Huh... Bastard went down too easy..." Then the snow melded back together instantaneously, distorting the snowman's face slightly. His eyes were now further apart and his mouth was crooked, but he seemed undeterred.

"Happy Birthday..." His eyes flashed and he shot a jet of flame out of his mouth. I was caught off guard and the flames enveloped me. I let out a small scream of pain, but the flames cleared soon. I looked down at myself. The pants around my leg armor had burnt away, so now it was simply shiny metal. My body didn't have any visible burn marks on it, and after I quickly patted out my hair, I was fine.

"Bitchin'! Sweet!"

"Sharky! Look out!" Scootaloo yelled from the boutique.

"What?" A huge wooden fist slammed int my left arm, throwing me a few feet away from where I had been standing. "Dammit, keep your eyes on the enemy!" I pulled myself off the ground. My left arm was pretty full of splinters, and I was surely gonna bruise, but I'd live. "Ok... that one hurt... I need my sword!" I decided to lure the snowman to the library to get my blade. "C'mon! Follow me Frosty!" I started backing up towards the library.

"Happy Birthday..." He lumbered slowly after me, reaching out ominously with his stick arms. It was going good, and I was about halfway to Twilight's library when he started clacking his sapphire teeth together.

"What are you doing? Stay on guard!" Suddenly, giant Ice spikes started thrusting from the ground. "Whoa!" The first few missed, and I started jumping around wildly, despreate to not get impaled. One thrusted right in front of me as I jumped, but I shattered it with a blow from the armor on my leg. His attack seemed to have worn itself out, so I turned to the nearest whole spike and slashed it with my glove. A decent sized spike fell away from the icicle of death. I pointed the spike at the demonic snowman and hurled it like a spear. It hit him square in the right shoulder, knocking away a chunk of snow. It immediately regenerated, but it succeded in pissing him off even more. He let out a roar, a nice change from the haunting 'happy birthday'. I kept up my backwards gait towards the library. He brought his fist down in front of me, slightly embedding it into the ground. I got a new idea and pointed my hand at his fist. "Thundraga!" The lightning bolt struck the fist, igniting it instantaneously. I almost cheered, but the snowman's eyes flashed again and the flames vanished, leaving an only slightly charred branch.

"Happy Birthday..."

"Fuckin' shut up!" I weaved my way through the little ice spike forest. When the snowman reached it, I had hoped it would slow him down, but he just clacked his teeth together again and they disappeared as he stepped near them. Luckily, we were almost to Twilight's library. Then I noticed I had spectators. Ponies were lined up on nearby streets, cheering for me to defeat the snow abomination. "Are you all insane?! Get inside! Now!" I'm not sure if any of them heard me. Nopony moved. "Well I guess nopony can help either! No, that would be a little too much!" Then flashing started. Some reporter ponies had gotten dangerously close to the fight. They were off to my left, the opposite direction of the library. The snowman took notice and started lumbering towards them instead of me. The reporter ponies screamed in fear, but instead of running away, they froze where the stood. "Oh son of a..." The snowman reached them and reared back both arms, prepearing to smash the ponies. I ran over full tilt and rammed the ponies out of the way with my right shoulder. Then both of the fists came smashing down on my back. I went down into the snow, but the force drove me through the snow until I was smashed against the ground. The spectators let out a collective gasp. The pain was immense, and I felt myself slip into unconciousness...

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"Finally, I get to drive..." Steven pushed himself up out of the hole. The spectators let out a cheer as he rose from a seemingly mortal blow. Sharky hadn't left his body in the best condition, but Steven wasn't complaining. "C'mon bitch! Let's go!" He raised his fists challengingly. The snowman's eyes flashed again, but Steven was prepared. He leapt to the side, leaving the flame jetting from the abomination's mouth to melt the snow where he had been standing. "Ha! You've got worse aim than a blind man!" The snowman cut off the flames and let out another gutteral roar. Steven ran in close to the snowman and started slashing at his legs. Each swing with the shark blades cut out a decent chunk from the legs, but it was regenerating faster than Steven could swing. The snowman was far taller by now, and he was just as tall as Twilight's library. He lifted a missive leg, threatening to stomp Steven. Steven waited until the last second, then rolled out of the way of the impact. His roll placed him behind the snowman and closer to the library.

"Happy Birthday?" The snowman had clearly lost track of Steven's location. Steven decided to remind him. He pointed at the middle of the snowman's back.

"Thundraga!" The bolt flew straight through the snowman's middle and into the ground beneath him. The snowman roared and wrapped his branches around his waist. It regenerated in a matter of seconds, but it was meant to draw his attention, not injure him. It clearly worked. The snowman turned to Steven, clearly enraged. It started running as fast as it's legs could carry it.

"Happy Birthday!!!"

"Seriously, better banter or GTFO." Steven rushed the snowman and slid on the snow as he approached him. He passed under the snowman harmlessly and the snowman lost track of him again. Steven took the oppritunity to run to the library. The snowman didn't notice him, and he made it in unharmed. Twilight gasped as he threw the door open.

"Sharky?! What happened to you?!" She pointed at his now forming bruises.

"No talk time! Kill giant evil snowman!" He ran to the Buster Sword and hefted it onto his shoulder before dashing back outside.

"... WHAT?!"

"Happy Birthday!" The snowman spotted Steven as he ran back out of the library. The snowman's eyes flashed and a jet of flame roared towards Steven. He planted the Buster Sword in front of himself firmly. The flames hit the blade and were deflected away. The moment the flames were clear, Steven lifted the sword and rushed the snowman. He swung the now heated Buster Sword at the snowman's left leg. It melted through the snow like a warm knife through butter. The leg fell away, and Steven jumped to the side as the snowman fell down. Then something amazing happened. The leg didn't grow back.

"Awwww yeah!" Steven cheered. He charged the giant snowman again, quickly dicing it to bits with the heated Buster Sword. The snowman wailed in agony until Steven finished off the rest of it's body and planted the blade firmly between the abomination's eyes. The light faded from the rubies and the sapphires shrank and returned to normal. Looks like that guy needed to... chill out. I hate myself for what I just said. Steven was left standing in a melty pile of snow. Then, he felt his grip on the body loosening. "No! He can't be concious already! No fair!" Steven whined as he was thrust back into the recesses of Sharky's mind.

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I regained conciousness standing on a pile of melty snow.

"... Da buck?"

"Sharky! Sharky!" I turned my head to an approaching reporter pony. "Yet another amazing victory! Tell me, how does it feel to defeat yet another foe?"

"... I honestly couldn't tell you."

"Ah, speecless huh?" Another reporter asked as she aproached me. "Do you know where this beast came from?" I froze a little.

"Uhh... No... he just... showed up?" The reporter nodded like she bought it.

"Sharky!" Another mare rushed up to me. It was the same reporter that I had met outside the hospital a few days ago. "For a moment there, we all thought you were out for the count! How did you stand after that terrible blow?"

"Cause bitch I can. I don't remember even standing... I've got to go now..." I took off running before any more reporters caught me. I ran straight to Rarity's boutique to get my shirt. I was freakin' freezing. I made it in a matter of seconds, the cheers of the spectators followed me all the way there. I walked inside and locked the door behind me.

"Sharky! Thank goodness you're ok!" Rarity shouted as I came in. I propped my sword up next to the door and dropped to one knee as she rushed to hug me.

"Yeah... yeah, I'm fine." Rarity turned her mouth to my ear.

"Was that beast Unity's doing?" She whispered. The CMC were nearby, making kissy faces at us. I rolled my eyes and turned to whisper into her ear.

"Yeah, I knew his magic would have a bad side."

"Well, what are you going to do? We can't have things like this happening often!"

"Relax, this is the first time it has happened at all. When he's old enough to understand, I'll teach him right and wrong. Until then, I'll just have to deal with it."

"Are you sure dear? That thing looked horrifying!"

"Yeah, I'm sure. I can apparently handle it..." Rarity pulled away from the hug and gave me a confused look.

"Apparently?"

"Yes, apparently. Applebloom, where'd you put Unity?" She pointed to the little cushion bed I had made for him. I stood up and walked over to the bed. Unity was awake and staring intently at the pillow next to his head. "Well, I gotta take him home and feed him now. I'll see you tonight Rarity."

"Ooooooooh!" The CMC said simalutaneously. I rolled my eyes.

"Bye girls... I've got something to figure out anyway..." I mumbled as I left the boutique. I ran all the way to Twilight's library, hoping to not attract the attention of more reporters.