Every Little Bit

Cover Art Vectors by:
FruitsBasketRiceball
TechRainbow

Written by The Descendant
Edited by ArgonMatrix

Chapter 1: The Auction

“Alright, colts, pucker up and pay up!”

A series of cheers erupted from the crowd as Rainbow Dash swooped up to the stage. Coarse whistles left their lips, their eyes lingering across the body of the mare, and she returned their attention with a flash of her brash smile. Their hooves sounded out in applause again, forcing the auctioneer to speak a bit louder.

“Rainbow Dash! Please, darling, I haven’t even announced you yet!” Rarity chided, leaning towards the hasty pegasus. Her face brightened as she turned back to the crowd. “Now, with only two items left in the Filly Scout Charity Auction, I bring you my good friend, Miss Rainbow Dash!”

More cheers–and more whistling–filled the interior of Carousel Boutique, tastefully decorated to represent an auction house as it was.

“Yes, well, do please keep calm. My, there certainly are more colts here than there were a few moments ago, aren’t there?” Rarity said, leveling her eyes across assembly. “It appears that our last two items have drawn quite the crowd!”

“You know it, Rarity!” Dash enthused. “C’mon, colts, which one of you thinks he’s stallion enough to buy a kiss off of me, huh?”

Another round of cheers erupted from the young stallions, and their hooves pounded lustfully upon the floor. Rarity’s ears twitched as she sensed certain words floating among the crowd…

…catcalls.

She pounded her gavel over and over, bringing the room back to attention, some small part of her peeved at what she had heard.

As the solid thwacks of the gavel filled Carousel Boutique, an alicorn looked on from the wings. Twilight Sparkle, too, had heard the few muttered lines, and she rolled her eyes at the dropping level of maturity in the room.

“Did… did he just say…” began a small, familiar voice at her side.

Twilight quickly distracted Spike from the commentary, pointing down to the wagon that sat behind him, the one he had drawn behind him since they had left the library.

“You never told me, Spike. What did you bring?” she asked. “Was it something to sell in the auction?”

A small smile curled across Spike’s lips. “Naw,” he said, his eyes moving across the stage, coasting past Dash to where the figure of Rarity still banged away with her gavel.

“Naw,” the dragon repeated, a soft, heart-filled expression filling his features as he gazed at the object of his most tender emotions. “Naw… it’s for Rarity.”

Twilight’s gaze panned from Spike, to Rarity, from Spike once more, to Rarity again… and then she rolled her eyes and stifled a giggle.

She looked upon the baby dragon as he held his hands in front of him, his hearts beating forcibly as he lingered over the form of the madly bashing unicorn.

“Spike?” she asked, her voice filling with concern. “Are you going to be okay when… when Rarity offers a date as an auction item? Do… do you really want to be here to see that? You don’t have to stay to watch. You can leave, it’s okay.”

“Heh,” the dragon breathed, his smile twisting into a smirk. “Heh.”

After a minute, he shook his head and then looked up to Twilight sheepishly. “Heh… umm, yeah! It… it sure was nice of Rarity to offer Carousel Boutique as the place to hold the charity auction, huh?”

As Twilight nodded, some confusion across her face, Spike looked to Rainbow Dash. Twilight followed his stare, and both saw Dash looking to the side of the room. Scootaloo sat there, the newly minted Filly Scout and her friends waiting to see if their hopes of being able to attend summer camp this year would soon come true.

“I’m surprised that Dash would do this sort of thing, ya know, Twi?” he said, lifting his head back up to hers. “I mean, the auction, sure… but offering a kiss? It’s not something I’d, well… really picture her doing.”

“She’s doing it for Scootaloo, and the other Filly Scouts. It was sort of her fault–“

“And Pinkie’s!”

“­–and Pinkie’s that the camp got damaged with all of that molasses in the first place. She’s very loyal, you know,” Twilight said, sitting in place and rolling her hoof through the air in an explanatory fashion.

“Yeah,” Spike grumbled, folding his arms, “it’s almost like she’s the living embodiment of the magic of friendship as revealed in loyalty or something like that.”

Twilight giggled again, leaned across her little dragon and the mysterious cargo of his wagon, and watched the auction as it continued to unfold.

Rarity finally finished banging the gavel, an unladylike glow beginning to present itself across her features as she struggled to bring the room back under control.

“Now, seeing as we only have these two items remaining, a kiss from Rainbow Dash, and a date with moi, I feel the need to point out that we are still just a teeny-weensy, itty-bitty…”

Rarity’s gaze went to the transparent donation box. Golden coins filled the container. Yet, despite the mountain of treasure within, it was still short from reaching the crude red line that had been marked across it.

“Oh, dash it all,” she said, sinking down onto one hoof as a disappointed look went across her face, “we still need about one thousand bits to complete the repairs to the camp and to outfit the fillies this year after the unfortunate molasses incident–“

“I’m so sorry!” wailed Pinkie Pie as she leapt across the back of the room.

“­­–and, to see to that end, we’ll begin the bidding for a kiss from Miss Dash at one hundred and fifty bits!”
“One hundred and fifty bits?” cried a stallion at the front, his voice packed with sarcasm. “What is that extra fifty for? That what it took to make her kiss a stallion?”

A pregnant silence loomed large across the assembly, one only interrupted by Rarity’s losing her grip on the gavel.

At once, tittering laughter filled the room, one that gave way to roars.

Rarity bashed the gavel once more, awakening Opalescence. The cat rolled over on her pillow, perched as it was on the side of the podium where Rarity stood.

“Oh yeah?” answered Rainbow Dash, her face bright with her signature grin. “Too bad there aren’t any stallions here so we could find out! I only see little colts!”

“I’ve got all the stallion you need right here!” called an anonymous voice from the somewhere within the room. Dash lifted her head with a smirk, trying to meet the boast of the braggart.

When she realized he wasn’t motioning to his lips but instead to another part of his anatomy, a breath escaped her lips, and her hooves recoiled a touch. The brightness came out of her features, and once again laughter filled the room.

Not everyone was laughing.

Spike and Twilight stared at one another, their eyes wide and jaws hanging open. Their faces at once went back to their friend who was standing there, alone, in the middle of the stage.

The sound of Rarity’s gavel once more lifted around the room. “That’s quite enough of that!” the elegant mare called, a shocked expression of her own going across her face. “I should like an opening bid, if anyone cares to act old enough to know how to count so high!”

The colts laughed again.

“One-fifty!” called a voice.

“One-sixty!” added another, a hoof rising in the air to accompany it.

“I’ll pay two hundred… if there’s any molasses left on her I can lick off!”

“Two-twenty if she’ll promise me some tongue!”

Twilight froze in place as new peals of laughter, whistles, and catcalls lifted from the crowd. Her eyes flashed across to stage to Rarity, the other mare sharing her shock and revulsion at the statements. Neither had heard talk like this in public. Twilight never had, apart from outside of the few bars she’d quickly been through and outside the university frat house row.

Twilight looked at Dash. To her horror, some of the bravado and daring had seemingly left the mare. Dash slowly moved backwards, away from the edge of the stage. Dash’s eyes were going back and forth across the crowd as though sensing some threat emerging from within.

“Aren’t you going to do something?” Spike said, anger hovering in his voice.

Twilight’s eyes went down to Spike, seeking to perhaps shield his ears from such talk. He wasn’t looking at her. Somepony else had been the target of his question, and her eyes looked around the room, trying to see who he could be asking. Rarity? No. Pinkie? No. The pink pony had disappeared in a fit of molasses induced guilt. Who could it be?

She leaned down to ask him, but the look that sat across the dragon robbed the words out of her. Spike’s fists were balled, and the look across his features showed in no uncertain terms what he thought of the colts who were so assailing Rainbow, making her back her way across the stage.

“Hey! Dash, shake those hips! Show us what we’re buying!”

“Yeah, two-twenty-five if she dances for us a little!”

Walk off the stage, Dash! Twilight pled, revulsion sinking through her as she studied the faces of the colts. You don’t need to take that, Dash! Just walk off the stage!

Rarity’s gavel once more sounded out around the room, demanding attention.

“Gentlecolts, and I use the term loosely,” Rarity said with a hiss, “I will remind you that there are children in this room…”

“They can watch! Two-thirty!”

New waves of revulsion sank through Twilight as more laugher, harsh whistles, and slurs escaped the tongues of the colts. Her hoof went up to her mouth, stifling a sudden feeling of sickness that erupted through her as she watched Dash turn her head away, as the mare went backpedalling further from the throng of colts until her back pressed against the curtain.

“Hey,” Dash said, her voice going weak, “that’s, that’s not cool…”

Just get off the stage, Dash! Just get off! Don’t let them speak to you like that! Twilight’s thoughts screamed. Why don’t you just get off the stage?! You… you don’t deserve that!

Light suddenly cascaded through the room as the doors of Carousel Boutique came open. Twilight saw two stallions grabbing children, leading them out of what had suddenly become a less than family-friendly atmosphere. She watched as Blues embraced Penny, adorned as she was in her new Filly Scout uniform, and quickly lifted her out of the line of scouts and hurried her towards the door. They were joined mid-way by Thunderlane as he lifted Rumble bodily out of the boutique, the faces of the stallions both sharing the same look of disgust.

Twilight’s eyes swung back to Spike, thinking that it might be best for him to leave, too.

“Don’t just stand there! Do something!” the dragon called, and Twilight took a step back, surprised at how angry he had become. Once again, she thought for an instant that he was talking to her… but his eyes were not on her, not looking at her. He was calling to some pony in the room. Who, though? She looked him over, trying to figure it out.

She found him livid, fuming. His fists were clenched harder, and he was breathing heavily. His reptilian fangs stood out, shimmering in the stage lights, as he watched what was happening to their friend.

Dash, please, Twilight begged, focusing on the forlorn figure of the pegasus. Please just walk off the stage. Just zoom away! Why… why won’t you just go?!

“Two-thirty five!”

“Two-forty!”

“Two-forty-five… for second base!”

On the stage, more and more of Dash’s trademark strength seemed to leak out of her, and the mare, always seemingly so confident and strong, hid under her hooves.

“I can assure you, my dear degenerates,” Rarity hissed, banging her gavel once more, “that all we are bidding on is a simple kiss!”

“Two-fifty for second base!” called a colt, snickering as he did so.

Two ponykins came to life, each wrapped in the blue magic of a certain fashion-conscious unicorn. The colt screamed in panic as they pursued him around and around the boutique, the avatars of Rarity’s will seeming to be bent on doing him all sort of unnamable harm.

The colt made the mistake of running into Rarity’s inspiration room. The door closed behind the ponykins, leaving them free to do all sorts of unpleasant things to the delinquent with the lace, bunting, and sewing supplies within.

The rest of the colts seemed not to notice, and their invectives only became louder and more lewd.

On the far side of the room, the Filly Scout leader began ushering her little charges out of the boutique. Confused expressions sat across the faces of the girls, each one questioning their guides as to what was happening, why suddenly everything seemed… scary.

An expression of utter shock settled over the few mares left in the room, and more and more of them–and even most of the stallions–made their way towards the exit. All that remained after a few moments was a knot of young stallions, little older than colts, that stood at the front of the stage, braying their words, whistles, and jeers out over the distant figure of Rainbow Dash.

“Hey, Dash, lift your wings for us! Show off your wings!”

“You know you like it! Show us aaallll of the wings!”

The colt who had made the demand felt a slap go across his face, one that seemed delivered by a powerful magic. It was as though an alicorn standing in the wings had chided him, odd as that seemed. “Hey, Baby,” he called to Dash, ignoring the rebuke as a fluke, “how much for a preening? A niiiice, slowwwww, preening with a happy en...”

The colt gave one startled cry as he was swept off his hooves, collapsed to the floor, and was dragged into a nearby closet in a haze of magenta… almost as though an alicorn had had quite enough of his talk.

Anger coursed through Twilight, and across the stage she could see Rarity’s own lips curling at the way the colts were behaving.

“Don’t just stand there! Buck you, why don’t you help her?!”

She looked down to Spike once more, horrified at his curse word. His face was twisted in anger, his breaths escaping through his teeth in hisses. She watched as his frills went rigid, losing their usual soft, pliable bounciness and instead became those of a dragon losing himself to anger.

A hundred thoughts went through Twilight’s mind: Who was he talking to? Who was he calling on to come to Dash’s aid? What was going on? Why was he acting this way?

Twilight looked back to Dash. Her hoof lifted off the stage in surprise, stunned to see the pony that she considered among the toughest and strongest that she’d ever know simply laying against the curtain, hanging her head, seeming to deflate as the calls and jeers of the colts buffeted her.

Just get off the stage, Dash! Twilight’s thoughts screamed. Why don’t you just get off the stage?! Why?!

“Hey, hey!” called a stallion, his tone harsh and filled with authority.

The room quieted, and soon the other colts looked at him. They went silent under his withering gaze as he looked at them all sternly.

I know him, Twilight thought, watching the tall, handsome colt approach the charity box. The colt opened his saddlebag, and the glint of gold reflected in the lights as he lifted a few small pouches up towards the opening of the box. I know him, he’s… wait, yes, I know him.

The attractive, robust colt places a few bags of bits next to the charity bin, and then looked up to Rarity with a smile. With a nod, he spoke to the auctioneer in a steady, genuine tone.

“Three hundred bits–“

Oh, thank goodness, it’s over, Twilight thought as a sigh escaped her. A blush came over her face as she looked at the colt… admittedly handsome as he was. Poor Dash. Thank goodness it’s over… thank goodness it is…

“–if she’ll lift her tail for us,” the colt concluded, turning back to the others with a shameless smile. At once a cheer erupted from the young stallions, and their hooves sounded out around the room.

“Get out of my boutique!” Rarity screamed, her gavel bashing wildly on the podium, the expression on her own face showing in no uncertain terms that there was something else that she wished she could whack with the hammer.

There was a flash of emerald light, and Twilight turned to look down at the frothing, fuming sight of Spike. The dragon whelp was beside himself with anger. His eyes were literally blazing, and he shook and trembled with a barely contained rage.

“Why won’t you do anything?!” he screamed, once again calling to whoever it was he was denouncing. Spike shook with anger.

Twilight could sympathize; her own blood pressure had been rising as she watched the colts. She was very, very close to letting her alicorn nature reveal itself in full. She had not yet discovered what forces of magic her new form commanded, and she imagined that she was quite close to finding out.

Please, Dash, just get off the stage! You don’t deserve this! Twilight pled in her thoughts. No mare deserves this! Get off the stage! Why won’t you get off the stage?!”

Twilight startled herself as a realization sank through her. In her mind’s eye she went back to before the auction had begun. There, as Spike had pulled his wagon full of… well, whatever it was, towards the boutique, she had watched Dash among the Filly Scouts.

“Don’t worry, I’m all over this! We’ll get the camp fixed up in… heh, well, more than ten seconds, but we’ll get it fixed. And new gear and stuff for you squirts too!”

Scootaloo had leapt to Dash, the younger pegasus beaming with pride in her new uniform, so happy to be able to spend time at a camp… her first real summer vacation.

Twilight’s mind snapped back to the present… and back to the forlorn figure of Dash laying on the stage, quiet and distant. As Twilight watched, Rainbow Dash wiped her head across the curtains, burying her face in them, hiding from the colts that still peppered her with demeaning demands.

“Oh, Dash,” Twilight breathed, realizing why her friend, who usually would have already beaten these colts to a pulp, was laying there.

Loyalty.

If you scare them off, then there’s no pony left to bid, Twilight thought, staring at the donation box, the bits inside still short of the red line. If there’s no pony left to bid, then there’s no bits, if there’s no bits… then Scootaloo doesn’t go to camp.

Twilight’s hoof went over her mouth, saddened at the sight before her. Dash, usually the strongest and most confident of her friends, was still wiping her face back and forth across the curtain, her face scrunching up as the unfathomable demands of the colts pelted her.

Tears began to catch in the velvet, and a single small sob escaped the lips of the pegasus.

“Oh, Dash,” Twilight whispered.

With that, the chant began. The handsome stallion still stood before the box, the lustful smirk across his face, and the words “Lift! Lift! Lift!” erupting from the colts behind him.

“Three hundred bits, baby! Best offer she’s ever had!” he shouted.

Rarity replied with a demand of her own, one not printable or repeatable in polite company.

“Lift! Lift! Lift! Lift!”

Twilight felt her blood boil, and her wings went wide.

“Lift! Lift! Lift! Lift!”

I’m not having this, Dash. I’m not going to watch any more of this, Twilight thought, her mind racing. I’m sorry, I know you don’t have the bits you need. I’ll find a way, somehow… but nothing is worth having to watch you go through this. I’m ending this.

There was a flash of light as her features took on the grim countenance of an enraged alicorn princess of Equestria. A deep, powerful magic began to fill Twilight, making sure that that the colts would recall her admonishing. As it filled her, she opened her mouth and…

“One thousand bits!”

The chant died away, and silence filled Carousel Boutique.

“One thousand bits!” the voice repeated. “One thousand bits for a kiss!”

Twilight’s magic dropped out of her, and her jaw hung slack in surprise.

Her eyes fell to her side. There, the still-trembling form of Spike stood, his hand raised high. As she watched him, the little dragon dropped out of the anger and wrath that had filled him, and a look of surrender fell across him.

“One… one thousand bits, for a kiss from Dash,” he repeated, softly.

Silence hung on the air for a moment, and then the voice of Rarity filled the space.

“Goingoncegoingtwicegoingthreetimessold!” she cried, a note of victory hanging in her tone. “Sold to the young gentledrake in the wings, stage left!”

Twilight’s mouth was still hanging open as Spike looked up to her, looking like some deep, dark secret had just been revealed.

Twilight shook her head, making herself think rationally. “Spike,” she asked, the name packed with startled amazement. “Spike, where did you… where did all of the bits come from?”

Spike simply kept looking up into her eyes, and then down at the floor. She was surprised by how much energy and resolve seemed to drip out of him, leaving a puddle of dashed hopes behind as he began to pull his wagon across the stage.

“Five hundred bits. I coulda said five hundred bits,” Spike said with a moan as he stepped forward, his tail drooping. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!” he called, slapping his forehead in frustration. “Great… now, now I don’t have enough bits to buy… to buy…” he mouthed before going silent, a despondent frown crossing his features.

The colts watched the little boy, the baby dragon, emerge from the wing of the stage. They eyed him as though they wished him all sorts of bodily harm, and he withered under their gaze.

Just for a moment, he stopped. Spike’s gaze fell to a corner of the room, as though looking for somepony. He even squinted a little in the stage lights, as though searching through the glare for some creature standing there in the distance.

Twilight blinked. Spike, she thought, who are you looking for. Who were you screaming at? Who were you asking to come and help Dash?

She stood there, pondering, as the dragon made his way across the stage, the squeaky wagon in tow. After a moment, another voice lifted from the crowd.

“Huh, who would have thought it?” asked the anonymous stallion. “Spike bought a kiss… from a girl!”

The colts erupted into laughter once again as Spike approached the donation box, his head hanging low, unable to meet the eyes of the colts.

“Ha!” added another. “This will be new! I haven’t seen the baby kiss anything other than Princess Twilight Sparkle’s fl…”

“I. Am. Right. Here!” announced a rather loud, irate voice from the hidden part of the stage.

The colt in question turned around and, with a rather fearful look on his face, trotted briskly out the door.

Low boos and jeers filtered over Spike as he neared the donation box. His squeaky wagon came to a standstill, and Twilight watched as he slowly opened the bag that sat on top of it. From the larger bag came smaller ones, dozens of them.

Opalescence, having somehow slept through the rowdy display, spun over on her cushion, watching as the steady stream of bits fell into the donation box. The constant clang and clatter of the coins filling the container had disturbed her slumber, and she looked up to Spike with a disapproving glare. However, upon seeing the look that sat upon his face, the cat retreated back to her cushion, knowing that her opinion would mean little.

The coins continued to fall as Twilight watched, counting the smaller bags that the dragon pulled from the larger one.

Spike, she thought, watching him reach for yet another bag. Spike, where… where did you get all of these bits? Why, why didn’t you tell me?

Seven, eight, nine small bags were emptied, and Spike looked around himself, trying to find some place to deposit the emptied pouches.

Rarity quickly found a place. The elegant mare came trotting out from behind the podium and, seating herself behind Spike, extended her hooves… knocking each of the handsome stallion’s moneybags off with slow, deliberate flicks.

Rarity looked down to Spike, and the dragon blinked at her. She rolled her hoof, encouraging him to go on. As more disapproving sounds lifted from the colts, he emptied more bags. Each time he did the pile within the transparent box became that much taller, coming closer and closer and closer to the red line.

Finally, as he lifted one more bag, the bits fell in… and their shining surfaces appeared above the line.

“Oh, Spikey-Wikey, you’ve done it!” Rarity cried, scooping him up in her forelegs. “We’ve saved the camp! We’ve saved the Filly Scouts’ summer!”

Rarity spun him around and around, her ridiculously happy giggles filling his ears as she did. A few of the colts applauded the victory of the charity drive, but most simply kept up their jeers. Rarity settled to the floor, her back to the young stallions. She regarded them balefully as she glared at them over her shoulder and lifted her nose in the air.

“Harumph!” she called, dismissing the crowd. As the curls of her mane bounced behind her, she turned her head back towards the young dragon folded in her legs.

She had expected to look down to find Spike jubilant. She had thought that she’d look down to see the little love-struck expression that always seemed to accompany the embraces that she gave him. Instead, his face was scrunched up, and he seemed to be overflowing with a mixture of disappointment and… fear?

“Why, Spike, darling!” she asked, her voice falling down in a concerned whisper. “Whatever could be the matter?”

Twilight had emerged from the wings, and the crowd withered under the gaze of their newest alicorn sovereign. She approached Rainbow Dash, offering the pegasus her hoof. To Twilight’s relief Dash stood at once, a single sniffle seeming to be all that was needed to give her the strength to go back to her proper stance.

“Dash?” Twilight breathed, nuzzling against her friend. Rainbow Dash lifted her eyes to Twilight, and the mare let slip a small smile. It was forced and weak, but it was there, showing that she would be all right. Twilight returned the smile… and then Dash’s expression changed into one that Twilight couldn't quite name.

Dash’s head spun, and at first Twilight thought that the pegasus was about to berate the colts, to launch into them with a tirade, if not her hooves. But, to the alicorn’s surprise, Dash’s eyes went to where Rarity and Spike sat nearby.

“Dash?” Twilight asked again. The alicorn came nearer, trying to see what expressions sat on Dash’s face. She seemed to be… confused, bewildered.

“Hey, Twilight, did Spike… did Spike just...”

Dash blinked, and Twilight stood by her side. In a moment, Rarity repeated her little whisper, and it filled the ears of the two mares.

“Spikey-Wikey,” Rarity said, running her hoof across his frills, “what could possibly be so wrong, darling? You look so sad! Won’t you tell me?”

Spike’s eyes lifted to hers, and an understanding went across the three mares as he spoke.

“Rarity,” Spike began, “I… I brought all of those bits… because…”

Spike ran his hands across his face, struggling to make his admission. “I brought them because… because I wanted to win the date. I wanted… I really, really wanted to win the date with you…”

“Oh, Spike…” Rarity said, her voice tender.

“But, but when… when they started treating Dash that way, I couldn’t… I had to stop them. I had to stand up for Dash… I couldn’t let them treat her that way…”

The sound of the young stallions, still barking their catcalls and slurs, drifted into the background as all three mares made the same realization.

Spike, Twilight realized, you just gave up a chance to go on a date with Rarity! Oh, Spike… that’s what all of the bits were for! Oh, Spike, my poor little guy…

Twilight looked to Dash. The pegasus was blinking, her mouth a small circle as she, too, pondered the implications of Spike’s admission.

Twilight looked to Rarity, and their eyes met briefly.

And now you have to kiss another mare in front of the one who you love, they thought, sharing the same realization.

“Rarity,” Spike breathed, turning his head so that it lay against her chest. “Rarity, I w-wanted to win the d-date with you so much… so, so much. We would have gone to that new restaurant. I would have taken you to see a play, and to this waterfall I found…”

His voice faded away and, after a moment, his head sank into the space at the hollow of her chest.

“It… it sounded wonderful, dear,” she said softly, running her hoof across his frills. She stifled her giggle, hiding the images of being lead around town by the little boy behind her mask of concern. It would have been... unusual, to say the least.

“But, but I couldn’t… I couldn’t let one of them win, not after the things that they said about her, not after what they said to Dash. I had to beat them. I had to,” he sighed. “I couldn’t let them… I couldn’t, Rarity, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that, now, one of them is going to win the date with you! I’m sorry. I don’t have the bits to save you both. I’m so sorry.”

A flash of a smile went across Rarity’s face.

Save? Oh, Spikey, you’ve always been the chivalrous sort. I assure you, darling, I am most capable of “saving” myself… but never, ever stop seeing yourself that way, my little Spikey-Wikey. Never, ever, stop being that way.

Rarity leaned her head far down. As her cheek sat touching the side of his head, her warm, sweet breath spilled words into his ear.

“Spike,” she whispered, the sounds of the colts fading farther away as Spike drifted in her closeness, “do not concern yourself with that, darling. Only concern yourself with this... namely, the knowledge that you are the most gentle male I’ve ever had the honor and pleasure of knowing…”

She pressed her face against his, her lips meeting the space behind his ears. It wasn’t a kiss exactly, but it was close enough to snap Spike back out of his worries. As she held him, the real world drifted back in, and the sound of the colts, demanding the spectacle of a dragon kissing a mare, filled the room.

“Now, Spikey-Wikey,” she said as she lifted to her feet, unintentionally making him tumble forward into the little pile of hearts that had built up beneath him. “Go ahead... a gentledrake doesn't keep a lady waiting.”

She lifted Spike to his feet and spun him around, and for the first time since the gavel had sounded, the dragon met the eyes of Rainbow Dash. Her face was still a twist of bafflement, her mouth still small and her eyes bewildered.

Oddly enough, they both blushed. As Spike walked forward to where Dash and Twilight stood the hooting and hollering from the crowd increased, rising to a crescendo of sorts when the dragon and the pegasus stood face to face.

“Ummm, hiya, Dash,” Spike said, rubbing the back of his head, slightly averting her gaze.

“Hey, Spike,” she answered, suddenly very interested in the fabric that made up the curtain. “Hey.”

The two stood there, he rubbing the back of his head, she running one of her forelegs up and down the other… both looking around the room.

Twilight’s eyes met Rarity’s. Both mares arched their eyebrows.

“Well, ummm,” Rainbow mouthed. “Yeah…”

“It’s, well… yeah,” Spike answered. “Ummm…”

More uncomfortable shifting, rubbing, scratching, fidgeting, and desperate eye contact avoidance played out across the stage.

“Ummm,” the dragon said, apparently trying to look like he was admiring the craftsmanship that it took to hew the floor joists of the stage.

“Hmmm?” answered the mare as she painted a farce of studying the catenary that supported the stage lights.

“I-I didn’t, didn’t say anything,” he said, running his hand up and down his arm, “I… well, umm…”

There was a sudden, solid “thwack” as Spike walked blindly into Dash’s shoulder, the mare having turned without looking at him. They both startled, turning their heads towards the point of impact.

Thus, their heads collided with a sound not unlike two coconuts being knocked together.

Dash went falling to her back legs, and Spike fell flat on his back. As stars swam in their vision and their heads wobbled around, the sound of laughter filled the boutique.

As the colts continued to laugh, Dash shook the stars from her eyes and rose back to her hooves. She shook her head a few times… and when she opened them, she found herself looking into Spike’s eyes.

The little dragon fished around through her gaze for a moment, and then turned back to Rarity. The dragon gripped his tail in his hands, and, as he twisted it nervously, his little voice called for the elegant mare.

“Rarity?” he asked. “Is there… is there anything in the rules that says I hafta get my prize now? Can… can I get it later?”

“I… I understand, Spike,” Dash said, he voice uncharacteristically weak. “If you don’t want a kiss from me… I’m sure we can find something else. It’s no biggee, I… I just thought that it… well, I’m glad…”

“Dash,” Spike said, his voice firm, “I’d love to get a kiss from you­–“

“What?” Dash asked.

“What?” Twilight called.

“What?!” Rarity shrieked.

“­–but, but not here, not like this. Not in front of them,” he said, gesturing over his shoulder to the colts beyond. The little dragon turned his head back to Rarity and repeated his question.

“Rarity?” he asked. “Do the rules say I hafta get my kiss here? Can’t I, well, you know, get it later?”

Rarity blinked, and then blinked again. “Oh, well, let me see,” she said, rummaging through her papers. After a moment she shrugged her shoulders, and, returning a look to her friends, Rarity simply added, “No. There’s nothing that says that you must.”

“Oh, okay then,” the dragon said, grasping the handle of his wagon. Slowly he began to walk away, only stopping to look up to Dash.

“Is that okay? That we… well, heh, if you’re okay with that? Like, at dinner tonight, in the library? I mean, like, just coming over for dinner,” he asked, his sentence seeming caught somewhere between a question, a statement, and a plea.

“Yeah, that’s cool. That’s… yeah, okay. Later, at the library,” Dash said, lifting one hoof, motioning to him.

The two just stood there, staring at one another, until Spike sighed and turned towards the side door of the boutique. “I’m… I’m gonna wait outside, Twi. I don’t really wanna see what happens next. I don’t think I could… see who wins the date with…”

The three mares watched him go, the wagon squeaking behind him as it went, the big saddlebag standing open and empty as the little dragon made his way across the stage. His head hung slightly, yet there seemed to be a sort of satisfied smirk across his face, one that seemed bittersweet.

The colts looked at one another, shooting incredulous looks amid their group, before their jeers started once more.

“What’s the matter, Spike? Afraid of girls?!”

Laughter, snickers.

“Loooser! Loooser! Loooser!” began the chant, and as it did the blood pressure of the mares increased and the head of the little whelp hung lower.

“We always knew he ain’t much of a dragon… now we know he ain’t much of a stallion, either!” laughed the handsome colt.

Spike skittered across the stage in a reptilian motion, darting so quickly on all fours that the colt’s laughter had barely faded before he and the crowd were looking up to the incensed eyes of the whelp.

Spike’s forked tongue came out, whipping around as an animalistic hiss escaped his lips… forcing the colts back a step as his eyes glowed with a draconic light.

Spike lifted one hand, then the other… and then extended both middle claws high and proud.

“Blam,” he said.

Silence reigned supreme across the interior of the boutique.

“Heh,” the dragon laughed, his face revealing a sneer, and with that he walked back to his wagon. The colts, only having hooves and not being all that familiar with fingers, had no idea what had just happened… yet were left feeling that the self-satisfied smirk that the little dragon now wore indicated that they had been subjected to something rather inappropriate.

“What… what in the Well was that?” Dash asked, her face a picture of bewilderment.

“It’s something he came up with,” Twilight said, sinking her face into her hoof. “He says that it’s called the ‘Hyper-Rude Gesture of Maximum Offensiveness’. Now I have to give him a time-out when we get home. Great.”

Rarity’s gavel sounded out once more, climbing above the booing of the crowd that had arisen once again. “Oh, my dear colts,” the unicorn cooed. “Have you forgotten? We have one more item to be bid on this morning!”

The crowd erupted into cheers before devolving back into catcalls and innuendo. Twilight and Dash shot each other looks of dread. “She can’t be serious!” Twilight said. “Not after what she just saw!”

“What the buck, Rarity?!” Dash cried. “You just saw what these jerks are like! You can’t seriously be auctioning off a date with…”

Rarity slammed her gavel, silencing all in the room.

“Indeed, Rainbow Dash, I am! Indeed, I think that, having seen the quality of the stallions in this room, I’m going to substitute a prize and cut to the chase! It is obvious that these fellow have no need for romantic notions, so let us simply advance the program, as it were,” the unicorn enthused.

“My fine gentlecolts,” she said, painting only a whisper of irony into the words, “are now going to see who gets to spend private time, in a secluded space… with my pussy.”

Rainbow Dash and Twilight felt their jaws hit the stage floor.

The colts blinked once, and then launched into wild yells.

Rarity slammed the gavel, bringing it down so hard that it split in half. The colts ceased their shouting and whistling and looked up to the podium. There they discovered the grim visage of a foaming, wrathful unicorn look back over them, her horn alive with magic.

“In short,” she hissed, “every one of you abrasive, immature, loutish degenerates who I see place bits in the donation box stands a chance of not being the one I lock in my supply cabinet for the next hour with my cat!”

On cue, Opal screamed to life, her caterwaul filling the boutique with a deathly screech. Her claws came open, and in a flash she had torn the cushion to shreds, the fluffy entrails of which settled across the colts. The cat’s eyes flashed, and her lips pulled back, exposing teeth like dozens of tiny needles.

The cat lunged forward, her back arching, her hisses meeting their ears like the wails of the denizens of Tartarus, magnified over and over again as the shrill sound ground against their souls.

The colts’ eyes went wide.

There was a mad rush of hooves, the sound of coins being stuffed into the donation box, and a desperate scene of colts falling across one another as they fought to escape through the main doors of Rarity’s shop.

“That’s momma’s little angel,” Rarity said as she tried to hide a self-satisfied smirk. A single giggle escaped her as she lifted her cat. “Let us find you a new cushion and some tuna!”

“Mew,” answered Opal, granting her mistress a single nuzzle.

Twilight found her way out of the boutique. Her eyes took a moment to adjust, and she blinked in the daylight.

She had helped Rarity and Dash remove the traces of the auction house. Some of the Filly Scouts had helped, and it was with no small amount of joy that Rarity had informed them that they had made their goal.

Rarity and Dash seemed to be very happy to remove the evidence of the auction, and did so quickly. Given the quality of the colts that had shown up, Twilight certainly understood why.

“Can you believe it?!” Rarity whispered when the fillies were on the far side of the room, the unicorn still being incredulous over what had transpired in her shop. “I’ve never heard such language! And to have it directed at such a good friend! I am truly, truly sorry, Dash! Why, if it weren’t for Spike’s selflessness, I would have taken my gavel and…”

“He… really stepped up,” Dash answered, her voice uncharacteristically weak.

“Indeed! I don’t know if you heard it, but he said that he did it to save us!” Rarity said with a giggle.

“Save us?” Dash echoed, lifting her head to Rarity. "He knows that we've save the world like... five times, right?"

“Oh, of course he knows! It was needless gesture— but still… what a gentledrake! What a little hero!” Rarity said, smiling widely.

“Hero?” Dash asked. “Gosh. Kinda hard to think about Spike… giving up a chance to… for me…”

Spike.

Now, Twilight blinked in the sun, slowly regaining her vision as she searched for her little dragon whelp. As she did, her thoughts went to the colts…

A dozen sets of eyes found Spike as he sat beneath a tree, just next to his wagon.

… and how they seemed to be so very different than she’d ever seen boys acting before…

The leader nodded to the rest, and they murmured to one another, and then slowly they began to trot towards the whelp.

... how they seemed to be almost feral, like wild horses…

They advanced on Spike, their eyes set on him with a wicked determination.

… and Twilight hoped, hoped, hoped that they would think about what they had done, especially the handsome colt. They weren’t bad ponies, they had simply chosen to be something less. The optimistic part of her could not help but feel that they would make it right…

Only one thought–the auction–went through the mob as it advanced on the little dragon. They would show him. They would show him.

… but, just at that moment, Twilight saw Spike sitting nearby, and a dozen ponies galloping towards him.

They pounced upon him.

Twilight never even had a chance to warn him…

… not that she would have. It was simply too cute to pass up.

“Thank you, Spike!” called a dozen Filly Scouts, bowling him over and wrapping him in hug after hug.

“We’re going to summer camp!” called one as she dragged him into her forelegs.

“We get all kinds of new camping gear!” said another, rubbing her face against his. The nuzzling and hugging continued for a good solid minute, and Twilight approached slowly, drawing it out as she smiled over the scene that was developing in front of her. In time, Spike recovered enough to speak.

“Oh, hey, yeah,” he said, blushing brightly. “That’s fine. Yeah, that’s really great. I’m… I’m glad you can go… and, well, have fun and stuff.”

The fillies backed away a step, staring down at the blushing dragon that lay at their hooves. A few tittering laughs fell among them, and they blinked their big filly eyes at the young drake.

“I didn’t say ya had to stop!” Spike said with a self-conscious chuckle.

“Spike,” Twilight interjected, a warm smile sitting across her face, “that’s enough.”

“Fine,” he sighed.

The girls giggled, thanked him once more, and then pelted off into the distance, cries and leaps of jubilation lifting them into the air. The young fillies were soon to embark on a grand journey, one that would grant them memories that would last a lifetime. And, oddly enough, the craft hall would be suspiciously full of purple and green artwork featuring a certain dragon that year.

Twilight and Spike watched the scouts go… until they realized that one had stayed.

“Uh, hey, Spike, Twilight,” said Scootaloo.

“Oh, hey, Scoots,” Spike said as he lifted himself to his feet. To his surprise Scootaloo offered him her hoof, and she lent him her strength as he hefted himself back to vertical.

A little more surprise appeared in Spike’s eyes when she didn’t drop her hoof, and kept it right there in his hand.

“I just wanted to let you know that it was really awesome of you to donate all those bits, especially to help out Dash,” she said. “What was up with those colts anyway?”

“I dunno,” Spike said, shrugging his shoulders. “I guess some stallions never learn how to talk to mares.”

Twilight stifled a giggle, hiding it behind one of her forehooves. As she watched, small blushes went across both of the faces of the young creatures before her. To Twilight, it seemed like the same awkward staring that had passed between Dash and the whelp an hour before.

“Hey, ummm, Spike?” Scootaloo said, her face slowly inching towards his. “Thanks… thanks for standing up for Rainbow Dash. That was a really awesome thing to do.”

“Hey, it was no big… big deal…” Spike began to say. However, the feel of something warm and moist pressing against his face interrupted his train of thought.

Twilight had been very giggly that day, she realized. It might not be the most proper thing for an alicorn princess to do in public, but she could hardly contain herself, what with all the little signs of affection her great little guy was receiving.

The alicorn hid another giggle as Scootaloo pressed her nose up against Spike’s, nuzzling closer to the whelp. She made a small circle, blushing as she did. It was a motion common to the Equestrians, that much more than a hug, just that much less than a kiss… and adorable when viewed from most angles.

And then, to the surprise of everypony, Scootaloo gave him a small lick, like a nervous filly would when she wasn’t brave enough to give a boy a kiss. Very much like it, in fact.

“Thanks!” Scootaloo called, suddenly lifting away. “Bye!” With a flash of a smile and bright blush she went pounding down the street in a valiant effort to catch up with her fellow scouts. Behind her a surprised dragon was left standing in the street.

“Bye?” the dragon asked, wobbling on his feet.

Ponies came and went, and the sounds of Ponyville lifted over them. Twilight simply stood there, staring down at her little dragon. “Having a good day, Spike?” she said.

“Huh?” he asked. “What?”

“Come on,” she said, lifting him onto his accustomed space on her back, settling him forward to avoid the sweep of her wings. “I have some papers to look over, we have to get the place cleaned up before Dash arrives, and you need to have a time-out.”

“What?” he said, slowly drifting back to reality. “Seriously?”