Mares: Heated Moments
Chapter 2: Scratching Vinyl's Itch
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Scratching Vinyl's Itch
Vinyl Scratch: Premier Equestrian DJ. She is trying to get some work done when she realizes that some pretty heavy feelings are going to get in her way. Now she needs to find somepony, or someone to help her out.
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Vinyl Scratch stood there at the mixing board. Her head phones were a blaze with the sounds of her latest tracks, one that she was rather fond of to the point that it was making her flank shake back and forth. Her hooves danced all around on the mixing device, adjusting the sliders and knobs as she saw fit to make sure the sound quality was the absolute best. She wanted to make sure that this new series of recordings were her very best, as this was her very first collaboration with an actual Human DJ.
"Aww yeah!" she shouted as the track came to a thumping end, making her pull the head phones off, and place them on the mixing board. "These beats are so hot! Plots are going to be dropping like bombs when I hit the clubs with these." That's when she noticed something very odd. She couldn't quite place it, but as she looked around the enclosed basement studio, she knew that she had an odd feeling about her.
"Jeez, speaking of hot," she said to herself while reaching her hoof up to her brow. "Did somepony turn up the heat in here?" She took in a deep breath, then started to look around the room for a thermostat. Seeing the knob on the wall, she quickly trotted over to check and see if it was the room, or her. Looking at the temperature in the room, she got a confused look in her large red eyes as it said it was actually rather cool. "Well, if it isn't this thing. Why is it so-" Her eyes went wide, and her pupils dilated to specs as she felt a now very familiar sensation, one that she was hoping would not show up for a while.
"Oh no!" she gasped out, panic starting to set in as the funny feeling began to grow to a very deep warming throb between her legs. "Oh no, no, no! Not now!" She began to pace back and forth, often times running in place as the reality of her predicament finally took hold of her. "Arrgh! I can't go into heat now. I have so much stuff to do! I can't be locked up with some stallion for over a week while this stuff is getting mixed." That's when another thought came into her head: her Human DJ partner was coming here today. He would be here in mere minutes according to the clock on the wall.
The heat was getting stronger by the second. The more she thought about it made it even worse. Thoughts of being tossed to the ground and dealt with by some strong stallion. Not thinking about it didn't help either. The more she tried to think of anything else, the more her body tensed and tingled letting her know of her desire to be bred. Then something shot into her head that made her moan out loud, the thought of her Human friend getting ready to show up. She had never been with a Human before, and he was going to be here very soon.
"Oh my gosh!" she said while shaking her head back and forth. "Stop it Vinyl. He's a Human, you're a Pony. You two are so different it isn't even funny!" Even more minutes past by, he was late. This made the anxious Pony let out a sigh of relief. "Maybe he isn't coming today," she mumbled to herself, more surprised that she was disappointed in that thought. To both her glee, and dismay, she heard the upstairs door open, then come to a close. It was then the tell tale foot steps of her Human friend that came down the stairs. Each of his shoed feet making loud thumping noises that resonated in both her ears, and her loins.
The door to the basement swung open wide and fast, showing the Human DJ come bounding in with a quick shuffle of his feet, as if he was dancing to music that was only heard by him. "Alright alright! DJ Thumper has arrived. Time to make history up in here!" After making his grand entrance, he was a little disappointed that no one was around to see his theatrics. There were no other Ponies here like there normally was, only Vinyl, who at the moment had her face almost buried into the mixing board with both her headphones, and trade marked glasses on.
"Well I am depressed. Entrances like that just don't come along every day!" There was still no reaction from Vinyl who appeared to be looking at nothing on the board in front of her. "Hey Vinyl," He said making a small wave in her direction. She didn't move, or even take notice of his gesture. "I said; hey Vinyl," Still nothing from the mare. "Vinyl!" This did make her look in his direction, but only for a quick moment before darting her gaze back down to the knobs and sliders.
"Oh, umm, h-hey there Eric. I didn't hear you come in." She knew she was in trouble, as even the innocent everyday use of the word 'come' made her squeeze her back legs together. Her senses were alive to their upmost. She could smell him, taste him in the air, even looking at him for that one second almost turned her into a lust driven monster. "So yeah, I am just kinda, umm, you know." Her mind was a complete train wreck, she couldn't find the right words to say. It was really making her feel vulnerable. A feeling that was turning her on far past anything she remembered feeling before.
"Mixing?" he said with a sarcastic tone to finish her broken sentence.
"Mixing! Yeah mixing these tracks. So you know. If you want to just go over there to the couch, and like n-n-not come over here. That would be just super cool." The whole mentality of 'out of sight, out of mind' was her defense now. As long as he was over there on the couch, not saying anything or moving, she might be fine. That's when the thought of him on the couch came to her brain; laying there, naked. This made her focus everything she could on one particular slider on the board, though for the life of her she couldn't remember what it did.
"Pfft, whatever marefriend," Eric said in a lispy voice. "You know I want to hear what you have been doing. I want to see if you fixed those lows in track three. Been bugging the hell out of me." Before she could say anything to stop him, he rushed over, and pulled the headphones from her ears. The sensation of feeling the warm soft foam caress her ears and mane almost made her drool. Eric then placed one of the cups up to his ears, and got a very baffled look on his face. "Yeah, so Vinyl. I know Ponies can hear better than Humans. But I am pretty sure there's no music playing in these."
"No?" Vinyl said, trying to copy the look he had on his face. She then let out a quick giggle. "Oh, that's right. I didn't turn any on."
"Kay, why?" He asked with a bend in his neck to show his confusion was only growing.
"I umm, forgot?" she answered with a massive smile.
"Right. I think you are being a silly Pony." As he said this, he began to reach out with his hand; aiming directly for the top of her head.
'Don't scratch my ears, don't scratch my ears, don't scratch my ears. Oh sweet wubs he's scratching my ears!' His five fingered caress was almost enough to make her tackle him right then and there. She would use her magic to destroy the clothes on his body, then plow herself down on him, and do whatever it took to satisfy the raging inferno that demanded his seed. "Hey!" she screamed, making Eric rip his hand away in a way to where he thought he was going to get bit. "You know what would be awesome?"
"A non-crazy Pony?" he said with a single nervous laugh.
"Some cupcakes!" she shouted, putting way more emphasis into it than she intended.
"Right. I am still leaning towards the non-crazy Pony part."
"Nah it will be great. You run over to Sugar Cube Corner. Get some for us. And some ice water, lots, and lots of ice water." She gave him one more quick smile, then reached up and grabbed the headphones, throwing them back on her head before looking back down at the board.
"Well, okay then. Guess I am off to get cupcakes." Eric said as he pursed his lips together, looking from side to side. He started to walk past the door, then saw an opportunity that he could not pass up. As he walked behind her, he made a fast motion with his hand. He brought it down in a wide swoop, then slapped her directly on the cutie mark.
"Unngh!" Vinyl shouted in a loud moan. She then slammed her head to the board, and covered it up with her hooves.
"Umm, jeez," he said as he reached up with one of his hands, and started to rub the back of his neck. "I'm really sorry Vinyl. I was just playing around. I didn't hurt you did I?" She didn't say anything to his question. She just remained there; her face buried in her own hooves, her chest heaving to the point to where he could actually hear her breath, and her tail swishing back and forth.
"I-it didn't h-h-hurt. It felt so good." She then looked up towards him, using one of her hooves to remove her sunglasses, revealing a look in her eyes he had never seen before. "I love getting spanked."
"You, you do?" he said as a feeling of uneasiness washed over him.
"Mmm hmm," she moaned out while coming down to all fours, starting a slow sultry strut towards him. "You wanna do it again hmm? You wanna spank me again? You can if you want to." After saying this. She jumped up onto her back legs, and tried to lean in to give him a hard kiss on the lips. He was quicker though, doing a fast shuffle away that brought him almost to the wall.
"Oh damnit! You're in heat aren't you?" he asked, seeing her get a half grin in the corner of her mouth.
"Oh yeah, big time. I mean its a doozie too," she said while starting to walk over towards him again. An act that made him back up completely against the wall, then start sliding down in the direction of the door. "I have been in heat lots of times. I don't know if it this one is just really strong, or if it is because you are here. But boy did you just hit my rut button."
"Hokay!" he yelled in a panic as he spun around and reached for the door. "Cupcakes right? I am just going to go get those. I'll be back sometime next month." His hand reached out for the door knob, he tried to twist it, but suddenly a glowing aura surrounded the handle. He tried to twist it as hard as he could, but the magic was far to powerful for him to even get it to budge. "Say Vinyl, trying to get the door open here. Just seems to be jammed, by you." He looked over to where she was standing before, but saw that she had now moved over to where the long couch was.
"Nah, you don't need to go anywhere," she said as she jumped up onto the couch. "Why don't you come over here with me." As soon as she said that, she lounged onto her back, spreading her legs wide, and showing him her now very wet, and ready pussy. Her chest was heaving, even more so when she started to run her hoof down her body to her teats, making her let out an open mouthed gasp. "C-c'mere," she whimpered, using her other hoof as a waving beacon.
"I, I dunno Vinyl," Eric said with a small voice. "I have never been with a mare before. I had a buddy that dated one for a while. She went into heat, we didn't see him for almost two weeks. The doctors say he might recover. He just won't be the same though." He didn't know why he was joking at a time like this. He knew this was a very serious thing for mares, he just wasn't prepared to deal with it right now.
"Please," she gasped, her eyes narrowing while her own touches on her body in attempts to get him excited for her grew in speed. He looked at her, her soft white body, the colors of her mane, and the lust filled look in those deep red eyes. That's when he noticed something, as turned on as she did look, she also showed a hint of sadness. The only look he could relate it to was one of fear; fear of being rejected. "Please," she begged again, making him give a hard swallow, as he nodded, and moved slowly towards the couch.
Time seemed to slow down as he got closer to the couch where she was waiting for him. Her muzzle had become a ravenous gaze. It was piercing, letting him know exactly what she wanted. The closer he got, the more her body began to react, her hips started to rotate, showing off the soaking folds of her mare hood that was quickly covered by her own hoof. As she began to rub herself, she bit her bottom lip, and ran her free hoof through her mane. "Oh please hurry!" she moaned out in several gasps. As soon as he sat down, she leaped from her prone position, crushing her body against his, wrapping her front legs around his neck, then driving her lips onto his.
"Whoa whoa whoa!" he shouted, pulling his head as far away from her as he could.
"Come on!" she protested with a plea. "You'd better not be one of those teasing types. I just don't think I can handle it right now." This did make him laugh. He had been called a lot of things in his day, but tease was no where near the top of the list.
"I'm not a tease, I promise," he said as he smiled up at her. "It's just," he paused for a moment, and got something akin to a look of embarrassment. "You know, I have never been with a Pony before. I just don't want to look like some newb that jumps in there and hopes he's doing it right." He looked up into her massive glossy red eyes, giving her a long warm smile. "I mean I am pretty sure I will feel good. I, I just want to make sure you do too."
"Aww," she sighed out, turning her head slightly to the side with a smile. "You big softie. Why didn't you tell me you were one of those 'pleasing' kind of stallions.
"It never came up?" he said with a shrug and a half way annoyed look on his face, as he was sure the conversation of 'how do you like to have sex' was never asked in the recording sessions.
"Okay, I'm sorry I got all rut crazy there. It's just I am so turned on right now it's almost painful." This evoked a response from him. He reached up and started to gently stroke the side of her cheek. An action that made her press her head, along with the rest of her body harder against him. "So you want me to maybe tell you some things?" she asked, leaning in to slowly start giving him soft kisses on the lips; kisses he gave back in return.
"Yeah that sounds like fun," he said with a growing grin, and as she pressed herself down on him, she could feel that his grin was not the only thing that was growing.
"Mmm!" she gasped out into his mouth as she pressed her pussy down harder into his crotch, feeling his cock stiffen even more from the motions of her hips. "Okay, well, we can start slow like this. Then maybe I can just start kissing on your neck a little bit." As she was speaking, she moved her head down, and started to place long sucking kisses on the side of his neck. every now and again even letting her tongue slip out to trace the pattern she was using.
"Th-that's nice. Kissing is good," he said as he leaned his head to one side to give her more access to his neck. "What else can we do?"
This made her let out a giggle as she realized what he wanted, he wanted her to tell him all the sexy things they could do to one another. She didn't figure him for the tell before showing type, but she had to admit, it was a pretty big turn on to have to describe all the things she was planning on doing to him. "Hmm, well, you can start touching me if you want. Touch me anywhere." She quickly went back to kissing on his neck, hoping he would take the hint and start getting into it.
"Anywhere huh?" he asked, knowing she probably would respond. "Right here?" he said while his hands moved down her front legs, and up onto her neck where he started to let his fingers move in circular motions in her coat.
"Nuugh, uh huh!" she moaned, feeling little electric sparks flow from where he was touching her, all over the rest of her body.
"And, how about right here?" he asked, now moving his one hand to her shoulder blade, as the other one placed the very tips of his fingers at the base of her neck, then moved slowly down her spine.
"Ahh, yeah, y-yeah!" she cried out, whipping her head up and backwards. Her hips now took on a life of their own. They were grinding, rotating, doing what ever they could to feel as much of his growing member pressing as hard up against her as possible. She knew he was hard as a rock, she could only think of how painful it must have been for him to be in those jeans. It didn't matter to her though, she knew he would have to take them off eventually, mostly due to the fact that her over flowing pussy juices had more than likely ruined his pants by now.
"Tell me more," he demanded while his hands started to freely roam her back, sides, neck and shoulders. "What else can we do?"
"Unngh! You, you can lay me d-down, ahh. You can put it inside me." Her words were no more than strained gasps now. His fingers on her body was driving her mad. Each digit seemed to know just right where to start rubbing; right where to touch to turn her into a quivering sex starved mare.
"Right here?" he asked, reaching back over her body, over the rump of her ass, then lightly placing his fingers ever so slightly into the folds of her drenched pussy lips. "Is this where you want it?"
"Yes!" she screamed, almost standing up from the shock of finally being touched in the place she needed it most. He wouldn't let her however, he wrapped one of his arms around her arching back, pulling her down onto him. "Unngh, unngh! Yeah, oh yeah, right there. You can put yourself as deep as you want, right there. Y-you can rut me as hard as you want, ahh, ahh! Th-then, when you can't t-take it anymore. Ahh!" She couldn't finish what she was about to say as she felt him drive his finger deep inside her. She fell into a gyrating mass onto him as her orgasm started wracking her whole body in bolts on continuous pleasure. "Nuh, nuh, nuugh! Oh, oh Eric, please!"
In one swift, and strong push, Eric lifted Vinyl up. Their lips smashed hard into one another, as he raised up along with her. He then placed her down onto her back where his hands began to move in unison down the sides of her neck, onto her chest, then down her sides until he finally got to the first bend of her back legs. She felt just a little bit relieved now, making her cum the way he did gave her a small amount of control back over her body, and she was now able to enjoy being touched without crying out pleas of being rutted.
"I have to warn you," he started to say while lifting off his shirt, showing her the slender frame of his upper body. "I like eating down town."
"Y-you like what?" she asked as a dreaded feeling of him wanting to stop suddenly and actually go get something to eat jumped into her already swirling brain. Not being used to Human sexual expressions, she had absolutely no idea what it was he was implying. "You want to go and get some, ahh! Unngh, oh yeah!" Now she knew what he meant. As she was asking the question, he leaned down as far as he could, then started to utterly attack her pussy with his tongue and lips.
He was relentless, invading, plowing his whip like tongue on to her clit over and over again, while his lips formed a powerful sucking motion over the whole of her mound. Her hooves where drawn to the top of his head like magnets, she pushed him harder into her, while at the same time stroking the wild looking razor cut black hair. His pace was furious, never once letting up as he lashed his tongue up and down, side to side. every now and again he would reach down, and slip inside her as far as he could go, before pulling it out to resume his sensual assault on her clit.
"Uh huh uh huh uh huh," the creaming Pony huffed out in concert with his licking. Her hips started to buck in time with his motions. Her back, arching higher and higher every time she felt his tongue reach into her moist depths, trying as hard as she could to keep him inside her for as long as she could. "Nuh, nuh! Unngh, y-yeah. Lick me! Suck me! Oh right there, feels so good right there!"
When he heard her start to give demands, he knew he was close to getting what he wanted: a nice flowing warm shot of cum in his mouth. He no longer cared that it was from a mare. He wasn't even sure if he cared to begin with. The only thing he knew was it's what he wanted, and she was going to give it to him. He pulled his mouth away with a loud smack, making her moan out in protest. It wasn't long before she once again cried out in ecstasy however. His fingers hooked only slightly, then he drove two of them inside of her all the way to his last knuckles.
"Come on baby," he said in a low growl. "Cum for me." With that, he dove down again, taking her clit back into his lips, and sucking her as hard as he could while moving his fingers in and out of her.
"Ahh ahh ahh nuuh nuh! Y-yes, I-I'll cum for, for y-y-Ahh!" Her words became incoherent moans, growls and cried of pleasure as another powerful orgasm ripped through her pussy. Her back became a solid bridge, arching as high as she could, feeling him pull his fingers out of her, only to replace them with the entirety of his mouth. She could feel him sucking hard on her once again, moving his head in perfect rhythm with her rapid bucks. She didn't know how much of her thick orgasmic juices she blasted into his mouth at that moment. All she knew is that he did not let a single drop escape. She looked down, saw him drinking her, moaning only louder as she saw him look up at her with wanten eyes of lust and desire.
Sweating, dizzy and light headed, the still moaning mare finally let her body relax as the massive waves of pleasure started to subside, and let her relax. "Eric," she gasped out, feeling him give her inner thighs small kisses before moving up, licking each of her swollen teats before kissing higher to her chest, then to her neck. He hovered over her for only a moment to give her a loving smile, she then reached up, placing her front hooves around his neck, and pulling him down to where there lips met in a hard, deep passionate kiss.
"Eric, I, I want it," the Unicorn moaned out. Though she did love how he had started to kiss around at the base of her horn, making her start to massage his back with her hooves. This was all the persuading that he needed. With out saying anything else, he stood up slowly from the couch, then undid the buckle of his belt, followed by the button, and zipper of his pants. In a swift motion he pulled down both his boxers, and jeans, standing up to show the gasping mare the prize she had been wanting for what seemed like forever now. His cock was long, thick, pulsating with the promise of reaching deeply into her, and hitting the spot of her gushing depths she could only dream of.
His shoes became fast traveling missiles as he placed himself back onto the couch, kicking them off in random directions so that the rest of his clothes would fall away with his movements. He slid between her legs, mounting her fully, making her reach behind her with her front legs to grab a hold of the fabric of the head of the couch with the bends of her front hooves. "D-d-don't make me wait anymore. Put it inside me. You'll love how it feels when you are inside me." She whimpered out. This made him give a sharp grin while he positioned himself at the entrance of her waiting pussy. He thought it was sexy that even after all this, she still felt the urge to give him incentive to continue.
"Ah fuck yeah!" Eric cried out as he slowly thrust his full length as deep as he could go, listening to her almost scream at the top of her lungs as she felt herself being penetrated. She was slick, tight, and as hot as anything he could have ever remembered. Even before his steel hard cock could make it down into her completely, she was already squeezing, milking him for all she was worth.
"Ahh, ahh, unngh!" she repeated over and over again as he started to work in and out of her like a piston. "D-does that feel good? Huh? Does it feel good inside me?
"Oh goddamn baby!" He cried out while coming up to his knees, taking her hips into his hands so he could pull, and push at her all at the same time. "I've never felt anything this good Vinyl!" He looked down, and moaned only louder when he saw her damp white pussy clenching at him. His eyes slowly moved up her sweat covered body, no longer paying attention to the fact that she was covered with a fine coat of hair, he only saw the mare now. He knew he was in trouble when his eyes met hers. Those almost glowing deep red pools that were looking directly at him, her constant flow of moans, and close mouthed cries.
"Nuh nuh y-you ahh know what I, I unngh want. Don't uh huh uh huh m-make me w-w-wait for it ahh ahh!" As soon as he heard her say this, he knew he had to do something, he wanted her to cum again, he needed her to clench down on his cock as he brought her over the edge once more. Only he knew if he stayed like this, looking at her beautiful eyes, hearing her talk like that, he would never make it.
"Mmm baby. I think I remember some little pony saying that she liked to get spanked," He said as he pulled out of her fully, feeling the almost freezing air hit his dick to offer some assurance that he wouldn't explode right then and there.
"No!" she cried out, bucking her hips in desperate motions to get him back inside her. "You said you weren't a tease. Put it back in!" As she was pleading with him to continue his rutting, she found herself being rolled over onto her stomach. "Ahh!" she screamed as she felt him slam himself back into her. In this position, he was going even deeper, and hitting the absolute back of her canal. She was about to once again start spouting words of approval, but that is when she felt the torturous pleasure of the palm of his hand descend hard down on to her flank.
Eric had no clue just how sound proof this small basement was, and he knew at least when he got here there were lots of Ponies outside. From the standard passerby, it would have probably just sounded like he was killing her down here. This did not in any way stop him from thrusting like a wild man into her vice like pussy, or prevent him from once again raising his hand up to bring it down hard onto her flank. It was only for a moment did she push her head into the cushions of the couch, momentarily dampening the screams she was emitting. All it took was one more slap, and a hard thrust, and her felt her tighten beyond belief.
"Eric, Eric uh huh uh huh," she shouted as she rose up to place her back up against his chest, reaching around with one of her legs to grab a hold of his head. She pulled hard, turning her own head so that she could kiss him hard before pulling away. "I-I-I'm cumming again unngh unngh uh huh huh huh!" She fell down to her chest on the couch once more, only to have Eric take a hold of her front legs, and pull her upwards to where she was leaning hard only with him holding her up to keep her from falling. That's when she let out a silent scream as one more violent orgasm tore through her like a rocket.
Closing his eyes, Eric tightened himself as much as he could, trying desperately to restrain from blowing the biggest load he would ever probably let loose in his life deep into her waiting womb. "Oh Vinyl! I'm gonna cum baby!" he cried out through clenched teeth. "Are, are you sure I should let it out inside you?" This made Vinyl twist her head around her shoulder in a very unnatural looking fashion.
"D-Don't you dare pull out! I will never forgive you if you do," she snapped at him, a look of honest fear in her eyes that he would actually not give her the one thing her body needed to quench the lust driven fire inside her. "Come on, let it out, give it to me. Y-you know you want to!"
That was all he could take. With a loud cry, rope after rope of his thick white cum started to blast it's way into her tight milking pussy. "Ah shit baby, oh Vinyl!" he cried out as he started to fall forward. He let go of her so that she could come to rest on her front legs, and so that he could catch himself on the back of the couch while his hips continued to plow into her. He could hear her calling out his name, moaning, making all those delicious sounds she had been making all this time, and he knew that there would never be another woman, Human or other wise that he would want to do this with.
The two finally fell into still moaning, and shaking piles onto the couch. Eric scooted himself so that his back was as far as it could go up against the back of the couch. Vinyl rolled onto her side so that she could face him, then sighed as she felt his arms reach over, and under her to pull her in close. There lips met, exchanging small kisses before locking fully onto each other, this time even letting their tongues come out, and dance around each other. That's when Eric started to laugh out loud, making Vinyl get a contorted look of confusion on her muzzle.
"What? Why are you laughing?" she asked, trying not to let the thoughts enter her head that she might have done something wrong.
"Sorry, sorry," he said as he brought himself under control. "It's just that was the most awesome sex I have ever had. I just feel a little light headed." He saw her face return to a warm state of contentment, which made him place his hand on her cheek, and start stroking her. "But yeah, that was amazing Vinyl."
"Yeah?" she asked, giving him a smile as she leaned in to kiss him once more.
"Mmm hmm," he moaned, returning the kiss.
"Well, you know. Mares stay in heat for sometimes over a week. I loved the way you felt, and you're an awesome DJ. I think it would be cool if, you know, you became my stallion. That way we can work on getting the music done, and we can just rut each other silly while listening to awesome wubs."
"That sounds awesome," he said, still giving her cheek long loving strokes. "Say, how many times does a mare go into heat?"
"Twice a year for sure. But sometimes I have had three. This was my first one this year, it kinda came early though. Why?"
"Well, I mean it is going to be awesome being your stallion for this one. But if I am going to be here for this heat. I could be here for the next one too."
"Yeah?" she said in a smiling whimper. "What about the one after that?"
"Oh yeah," he said with a long smile. "I think I really like the idea of being your stallion, like, always being your stallion."
"Mmm, I think I like that idea too." The two exchanged a long gaze into each other's eyes, before each of them pulled the other close, pressing their lips together in a now full love filled kiss. After that, she pulled away from him, only to snuggle herself into his neck, as he placed his cheek on the top of her head. They both quickly drifted off to sleep, Eric content in the knowledge that through this, he had quite possibly found the woman of his dreams, and Vinyl content that she had found a partner to satisfy her both on the stage, and in the bed, or couch, or floor, or public bathroom. Yeah, this poor Human was in for a wild ride.
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