Five Star Service - A Gentleman for Mares Tale
Chapter 23: Part 22: A Week Together
Previous Chapter Next ChapterFive Star Service – A Week Together
By Five Stars of Manehattan
Special to the New York Life and Manehattan Post Magazines
November 16 issues
New York Life Chief Editor’s Note:
So to no surprise, our new social justice friends tried once again to occupy our offices. I’m still not sure how you get rape culture and racism out of Five Star’s articles, let alone patriarchy when you’re talking about a mare-dominated society, but when did facts or basic freedoms ever matter to these people? It would also appear that city hall and the mayor’s office has decided we are not worth protecting, giving us only token police presence and being deliberately slow to respond to our calls.
Fortunately, we have no lack of friends at this point, including many sentries in the sky. A pegasus brought down a cloud to dump rain all over their protest groups and tent camps on a cold November morning, ending one effort. When they tried to storm our lobby later, unicorns removed them magically while earth ponies and griffons were far more direct, physically tossing them out and then daring the local constabulary to arrest them for it. Needless to say, they did not—I’m happy to report the rank-and-file officers have some sympathy for us even if the mayor doesn’t. I wouldn’t want to get them in trouble by saying they deliberately looked away, so I’ll just note they seemed to have more sense of duty and justice than their leadership does.
The illogic of these groups never fails to amaze me. One tried to claim that being touched against their will by a unicorn aura amounted to rape, and our stallion editor’s response to that was to lift her high in the air, asking her if she hated his touch so much she wanted to be dropped two stories to the ground. In another instance, one of our new tiercel friends announced he was taking out the trash, bodily picking up one shrieking girl and flying out to deposit her in a dumpster. When she then tried to claim he was raping her, he sneered and said, “If I did, I didn’t enjoy it, considering how little fight you put up! There’s nothing warrior about you!” and then kicked the lid closed on top of her to applause and hoofstomps.
Well, as promised we are serving them and their schools papers today, suing them for not just the physical damages and security costs, but millions in punitive damages. We sincerely doubt the protestors can pay, being liberal arts majors who qualify for little except selling lattes at coffee shops, but their schools certainly can, considering the tuitions they charge. We’re expecting a long, hard court battle ahead, but we’re confident in our standing. In the meantime, enjoy another article by the mistress of men, Five Stars.
No trigger warnings because quite frankly, at this point I don’t give a damn what she writes as long as she continues to piss these people off.
—Kalido Tenna, Chief Editor, New York Life Magazine
Manehattan Post Executive Editor’s Note:
I’m relieved to report that we did hear briefly from Hot Topic this past week, via a note delivered by means I’d rather not reveal. She assured us she was fine and asked us to investigate a couple things for her. I’m not at liberty to say what other than that the topics were a little surprising; but we did inform her about the attacks on Five Stars’ former herdmates and advised her to watch her back. She promised she would, and told us in no uncertain terms to keep running the articles and not to worry about her. The first instruction we can follow, but not the second. We want you to come home safely, boss.
On another note, our security here at the Manehattan Post has been bolstered by the surprise appearance of none other than Lady Delta Requiem, who arrived earlier this week without fanfare. She told us that, given what was going on at the New York Life, she was taking it upon herself to keep us safe from vandals and violent protesters. We’re certainly glad to have her, as she demonstrated her skills by bodily tossing a very irate earth pony mare twice her size out the doors of our office. Given that earth ponies are renowned for their strength, this is no small feat.
Lady Requiem informs us that she is doing this in part to help assuage Five Stars’ worries over all the events of late. Given their relationship, I understand the sentiment. She’s also lending her skills to the main office of Gentlemen for Mares. I find it impressive that she’s able to split her attention between guarding two separate offices so easily, though she informs me she has her ways. I’m certain Five Stars appreciates the lengths Lady Requiem is going to as well.
Speaking of which… before we once again turn our pages over to our now-famous guest writer, Lady Requiem has a message for all would-be vandals and protesters:
If you wish to test your luck against me, I welcome you to try. Ponies - or people - who think they can bamboozle me with ‘social justice’ rhetoric and other nonsense have never met me before. I am the Court Bard of Canterlot. I’m a master of all sorts of verbal sparring techniques. I’ve talked ponies into buying ice in the middle of winter. I’ve convinced gangs and mobsters to turn themselves into the authorities. Your ridiculous reasoning and laughable slander is beyond pathetic. I will give you exactly the amount of respect you give those under my protection. Keep that in mind.
Thank you for your words of wisdom and warning, Lady Requiem. Now with the pleasantries out of the way, we invite our rational readers to enjoy Five Stars’ next article and advise the easily offended to vent their selective outrage elsewhere.
—Extra Edition, Executive Editor, Manehattan Post Magazine
Dear readers—
I’m sorry for yet another delay in getting this latest article written, which will be coming weekly from here on out, but the reason this time was a happier one. To make a long story short, I’m not in Manehattan at the moment; I’m currently writing this from a sprawling and recently erected movie production campus in the deserts near Las Pegasus. Yes, you read that right. No, they’re not making a movie based on my life (I wish!), but perhaps one of my past lives…
Why am I here? Well, not long after my last article was published, I got a very surprising invitation based on something I said in it. Remember I told John I had a unicorn ancestor named Artemis Arrow during the time of the Pony/Gryphon War? Well, ponies apparently did some checking in the Canterlot archives and found that she was indeed an intelligence agent of sorts (which John should be VERY happy to hear!), and even met Captain Firefly at least once. So in short… as the new Rise of Firefly movie trilogy is in production now, being produced by a joint human/pony/griffon entertainment consortium, I was asked if I wanted to play the part of my ancestor in the first movie!
I was stunned by the offer. The last time I ever acted was in high school, where I had a minor role in a Hearth’s Warming pageant. I initially demurred, saying I wasn’t sure I felt right doing that and didn’t think I could take another leave of absence again so soon after vacation and staying in Ponyville with Harvest for a week, but once Platinum, my fellow trainers and even our Gentlemen themselves found out, they all insisted I do it!
So what could I say except yes? Arrangements were made quickly to make sure word did not leak. They flew me out here in the company of my bodyguards and even put me up on their improvised campus, part of which had been done up on the edge of the Great Gorge to look like an old Equestrian Aerial Corps (the pony air force of old) border base. I was very surprised when I saw it and the other sets—they’d really gone all out; it looked very much like the real thing!
I stepped off the chariot (my bodyguards flew alongside) to a VIP welcome consisting of a large chunk of the cast and crew. It was a bit intimidating being in such exalted company, comprised of both Wonderbolts and Silver Wings performance fliers (it was especially gratifying meeting Captain Spitfire, who told me how much she enjoyed her favorite Gentleman!), as well as famous pony and griffon performers—but imagine my surprise when such famous company asked for my autograph! I was doubly shocked when I encountered Princess Celestia on my last day there, to say nothing of very gratified when she recognized me and greeted me warmly. As everyone has no doubt heard, she has agreed to play herself in the movie series on the condition that she acts as the final authority on authenticity; that both sides of the conflict are told and events are not embellished from what they actually were. I was there long enough to watch the first of her scenes, and hearing her affect an olden accent was a bit jarring, to say nothing of seeing her in battle armor!
That was later, though. Upon arrival they gave me the script of my scenes, which apparently were taken directly from Firefly’s memoirs and official reports (Equestrians back then were nothing if not good record keepers!) and let me study them overnight. They weren’t kidding—my ancestor really did meet her, though it appeared their encounters weren’t exactly happy affairs. And I had no idea the kind of things Artemis did, some of which really were straight out of John’s novels. The next morning, they dolled me up, cut my mane short in a military manner (I could have it magically regrown, but I’ll keep it that way for now—I’m sure it’ll give everyone back home a good laugh when they see it!), gave me a faux unicorn horn and an old Equestrian Army uniform consisting of cloak and hood over chain mail armor, and then strapped a bow and quiver full of arrows to my back, all period-authentic. The final touch was some temporary touch-ups to my cutie mark, adding some additional stars to make it more in the shape of a longbow.
When they were done and turned me towards the mirror, I started upon seeing myself. I was the spitting image of my ancestor… at least from the one painting we have of her.
My scenes were shot over a period of several days, the last one coming today. And I have to say, they were initially very difficult for me to do, and not just because I’ve had no real acting experience. It was the role itself, and what it required me to be. In one scene, I had to play the part of an interrogator, be deliberately mean and manipulative to an injured and frightened young griffon (who played his part superbly) and I was fighting back Miral flashbacks to start, forcing me to request a break.
Fortunately, the griffon in question, a young teenaged tiercel named Lyan Trishal from a Kingdom theatre troupe, helped immensely. I ended up having lunch with and chatting with him, taking an immediate liking to him—young and earnest, he told me that he’d lost friends and family in the Cloven War, that he was an avid reader of my articles, that he’d gained the courage to be with a Caleponian mare thanks to them, and that part of the reason he wanted the role of Gavian Ravenoff was that “if it hadn’t been for him, there might be no Kingdom, no Equestria, no friendship between us… and no place for artists and actors in griffon society. He was not only a great painter and warrior but the first friend between our races, and I’m honored to play him.”
When I asked him why he and the other griffons were so eager to participate in a story that might not show them in the best light, he told me that “The Great War was as revered a time” to them as it was to us for the cunning and courage, to say nothing of the sheer sacrifice it involved on both sides, showcasing both nations and races “at their best and worst.”
“Gryphons have never shied away from our history, and this is a chapter in it that should be remembered. Not just for what we did, but for how it changed us… and you,” he finished and then went on to give me some acting tips, instructing me to “not hold back” on him—that to sell the scene, I had to be mean, and he didn’t hold it against me.
Talking to him really did help, and I felt much better afterwards. We took our places for the scene again, and at the moment “action!” was shouted, I felt the strangest sense of deja vu. I’m not one to believe in ghosts or past lives, but all of a sudden my voice changed, the accent I was affecting got stronger and more natural, and I fell very firmly into character. It was heady but also downright scary if I’m being honest; I honestly felt that I was experiencing a past life at that moment. In fact, our performance was so good they only needed that one take!
And so it went. I regret I can’t say much else—you should see the ‘no spoilers’ clause in the contract I signed!—but I’m at least allowed to say I do take part in a battle scene, and one that should be quite compelling to say the least! For my final sequence, in fact, I was awarded the same Opal Arrow medal that was originally given my ancestor (passed down through my family as an heirloom), and the chills that went through me at that moment are still with me now. In the end I’m glad I did this, and not just for getting to take part in a huge historical production like that or the good publicity it’ll gain me and G4M. It really made me think, took me back to a far less harmonious time in Equestrian and Tellusian history. A time when the races of our world were not at peace, when we were every bit as warlike as some ponies like to so sneeringly put down humanity for. I really think I did touch a past life there, and it was an experience, though unquestionably eerie, I’m very glad to have.
For in the end, Lyan was right—we really do need to be reminded of our roots like that once in awhile, reminded of the mistakes and sacrifices we made as individuals and societies to get where we are now. It’s a revered story on both sides, and to that end, they’re really going all-out for this, even to the point they’ve been having the pony and griffon actors train and live exactly how soldiers did then. The main pony leads were subjected to intense Royal Guard training, while Sapphire Spotlight, the pegasus actress playing Firefly, put herself through through a brutal six-month training regimen to be ready for the role and spars frequently with her griffon counterparts to make combat scenes convincing. The campus is sprawling with multiple full-scale mock-ups of military bases and more minor sets, there’s a thousand griffons and ponies encamped here as extras, and a small army of artisans from all races at work making period-accurate costumes and uniforms, weapons and armor. In fact, as there was plenty of security on site and their services weren’t really needed, I even convinced my bodyguards to participate! As they were veteran soldiers, they got roles to suit their experience; they’ll appear in two major scenes (but you won’t know who they are!).
After my scenes were done, they took a series of promotional photographs of me with the rest of the cast. There’s even a picture of me and my bodyguards taken in period costumes, one dyed gray and done up as a Raven assassin, the other black with red stripes as an elite Red Talon warrior, but I’m afraid I can’t share them just yet. Not because of anonymity concerns—they’re unrecognizable (and VERY intimidating!) in that garb, so there’s no issue with them being seen like that—but as it’ll be part of the official promotional materials, it stays hidden for now. Don’t worry; it will be shared in due course!
Sorry to go off on that tangent, and for yet another distraction to sneak in on my writing, but this past week was just so much fun and interesting. I can’t wait for the movies to come out! To quote our Gentleman, in fact… for all the effort they’re throwing into them out here; it’s going to be epic!
But now, back to the story of me and John, the final chapter of our time together I’ve been waiting nearly a year to tell. Because as good as that night was, it was the week that followed that really sealed the deal… and made Gentleman for Mares possible. A week that made me fall in love with not just a man…
But with all mankind.
Emotional Intersections
I woke up that morning feeling as well as I could ever remember feeling. So at peace, so alive… and so unlike what had happened previously with Miral. If I had feared not being okay with things the next day, I needn’t have.
I also needn’t have worried that John wasn’t able to go again quickly. We went at it nearly hourly for the first half of that night—apparently, I wasn’t the only one who’d gone without for awhile; he said he’d last been with a lady three years earlier. When I asked him how I compared to human women, he hugged me tight and said “you’re so much more fun than she was!”, going on to explain that his last lover had been very demanding, wanting things strictly on her terms. “She decided where we’d go, what we’d eat, and even when we’d make love,” he turned brooding for a moment. “And even then, she called the shots—she wanted it her way and no other, I had to do all the work, and if she didn’t enjoy it, it was my fault for ‘not respecting her feelings’ or some other rubbish.”
I was shocked at that—I mean, how could a human female not like this treatment? But I was further stunned by a separate thought I initially kept to myself, one calling back to something Princess Mi Amore Cadenza had said at the first day’s lunch our guest attended…
In their society, the stallion attended the needs of the mare?
He saw my confusion, and immediately asked if he’d said something wrong. “No! No…” I immediately assured him, hastily adding that I very much appreciated his efforts, and now wanted to pay him back properly. In short, I wanted to know what he liked!
Now it was his turn to look at me in surprise. “But… you’ve already done it!” he told me in wonder. “Just by being with me! Just by taking the lead! I’ve never had a woman jump me the way you did just then! Let alone go down on me with abandon like that.”
After he explained what ‘go down’ meant, I was starting to understand where he was coming from—happy though I was to meet a stallion who attended my needs, he wasn’t used to having his own attended to! And for the first time, I had the thought that if all men were like him and all mares were like me, then we were not just sexually, but emotionally compatible!
In short we each wanted and needed what the other could offer…
In short, as races and cultures, we were made for each other!
I kissed him full on the lips again—we’d learned the trick to doing so quickly enough, at least—and shared my observations with him, again asking him what he would like me to do for him! “It’s the least I can do for my guest!”
“Do you treat all alien men this way, love?” he asked me with a grin, though I could tell he was genuinely pleased and flattered by the offer. I’d figured out ‘love’ was a term of endearment, and one I preferred greatly to the other term he tried on me once or twice—‘pet’.
“Only those who invade my world and my bed,” I told him, to which he noted somewhat dryly we weren’t actually in my bed! I thwacked him on the flank with my tail at that, then he finally relented.
“Well… there is something I’d like to try…” he eventually admitted, then began to shift around me a bit, only to stop short. “If you’re willing, that is…?”
When I asked him what it was—I mean, what else could we do that we hadn’t already?—he said that “it would be easier to just show you…” and then gently rolled me over, pushing me on my back, taking a minute or two to just run his wonderful hands and fingers through my fur of my sensitive neck and belly, giving my teats some attention as well. Though delighted at the sheer worship he was giving me, alternately telling me how exotic, wonderful and beautiful he found me, I still wasn’t sure what he wanted until he moved to straddle me. “So how would you feel about doing things a bit more human-style?” he asked, moving to position himself in front of me and pushing my legs apart.
For the first time that night, I froze—the last time I’d been taken belly-to-belly by a stallion was the night of my honeymoon with Aces Up and Double Down, and I suffered an immediate and very unwelcome flashback.
He felt me stiffen and take a fearful breath, and immediately froze himself as he recognized my sudden distress. “Five Stars? Did I say something wrong…?”
I shook my head hard—why of all things did that have to be dredged up now? “No! No… it’s not you. Just… some bad memories from the last time I did it…” a sudden tremor had entered my voice.
“Oh!” he quickly backed off, releasing me and letting me hurriedly roll back over. “I’m so sorry, love…”
“N-not your fault…” I quickly reassured him. I was sorry too, if only for the fact that had instantly killed the mood and my enjoyment of his efforts, silently cursing the lingering hold that night still had over me. “Just… hold me…” I asked him, and he did so promptly, spooning me from behind and letting me clutch his arms to my chest with my forelegs. Deciding he was owed an explanation, I gave him a short one.
“Bloody hell…” was all he could immediately come up with as I finished. It was an odd invective to me, but I remembered reading somewhere that hell was the human version of Tartarus. “In my country, you’d go to jail for that.”
“They did,” I told him shortly. “And if you don’t mind… I really don’t want to talk about it any longer.”
“Of course,” he told me, holding me tighter and kissing me on the head. We did nothing else for the rest of the night, stroking my fur silently until I’d relaxed again and finally fallen asleep.
Friends and Lovers
I slept much better than I might have if he hadn’t been there or had left. A couple times memories of my honeymoon horror story tried to rear up in my dreams, but each time John appeared to save me, either riding in on a horse like Aragorn or flying one of those birdlike war machines he’d shown me the first night he was here. Mares normally save stallions in most pony romance novels instead of the other way around, but here his warmth, his scent, his comforting presence and protective arms made me feel safe, a warmth in my heart growing that hadn’t been there for a very long time. We’d become friends, we’d become lovers, and now… even though I’d just met him he had all but become my coltfriend, being there for me in a way that not even Cruise Control truly had.
And that was what cinched it for me that both he and humanity were special. In the end, I needed his company and companionship as much as I needed the sex, and completely unlike too many stallions I’d known, he had provided me both on my terms without any hesitation, putting my needs ahead of his. He didn’t pressure me, he didn’t leave my side even after I said no, and though disappointed, he didn’t try to suggest it again for the remainder of the trip, perfectly happy with doings things my way.
I would have been perfectly content to just stay with him that next day, talking, cuddling… and once I was over my fears again, tucking. Unfortunately, much as we both wanted to, we couldn’t. There was another tour event scheduled that day, an airship journey to Cloudsdale where our human guests would visit the great pegasi city, tour the weather factories and see how pegasi traditionally lived. Thus, my alarm clock went off with the rising of the sun, and we reluctantly brought our first night together to an end.
John’s attendance was actually optional at this event—it was assumed (quite correctly) that our human guests might not be too keen on flying or the idea of walking on clouds via magic spell, and indeed, only about two-thirds the group decided to go—but mine was not. Even aside from my desire to spend time with John, I didn’t really want to go either (you KNOW how I feel about flying!) But I was still the chief coordinator and liaison for these affairs, so my presence was required. I had to be there early to make sure everything was ready, at least a couple hours before our ten o’clock departure.
A Better Morning After
We showered together, though the quarters were a bit cramped and he had to crouch down to be under the showerhead much as he had to duck under doors. He also didn’t have a change of clothes with him, so he had to make do with the ones I’d already damaged in my desperation to undress him, for which I was profusely apologetic. “Don’t be,” he told me with a toothy grin—and having had those teeth actually used on me, it was a sight that caused me far more a thrill than fear—tapping me on the nose lightly as well. “Seeing you so keen to have me was one of the best parts of the whole thing!” he added with a wry note, positioning and tightening his still-intact belt to cover his broken fly. Blushing, I reared up and put my hooves on his shoulders, where we shared one last lingering kiss before departing.
“You really have no idea how special you are, do you?” I asked him, tears in my eyes.
“Back at you, love!” he rejoined with a trademark twinkle. “Now what say we go and get ourselves killed trying to walk on clouds…” he suggested a bit more nervously, and honestly, I agreed with the sentiment.
As I had little I could provide him in the way of breakfast, we stopped at a short-order diner I knew first. He was somewhat surprised by the variety of options (though I’d say the staff was more surprised to see him as they didn’t quite know how to treat him), but did enjoy his omelet and fruit medley; I told him to save some room for a stop at Donut Joe’s. “Have to say, your food is first-rate, but I really am starting to miss a proper British full breakfast,” he noted as he licked his fingers clean from the latter, by which I took to mean he normally ate meat at one. We were trying to have some available for most group dinners, but I was beginning to understand how omnivorous human tastes really were. After that, we stopped a fashion shop and asked for a quick repair on his pants. We got looked at a bit askance for it, but they were able to improvise a fix to the unfamiliar garment, and then we continued on our way.
That brought another issue to the forefront—whether our new relationship should be concealed. John, it seemed, could pretty much care less what anyone thought of it, and normally I wouldn’t either. But these weren’t exactly normal circumstances given the positions we were in; he being one of the first human visitors to Tellus and me being the chief organizer and human liaison for their visit.
Hiding it was a tall order as we arrived at the assembly grounds where the whale-shaped EAS [Equestrian Airship] Equanimity was already awaiting boarding, its crew readying it for flight. I had to take my leave of John to attend my duties and suggested he take in the Canterlot Gardens in the meantime. “Just don’t go hitting on other mares, John!” I warned him half-sternly, waggling a hoof at him.
“No promises,” he twinkled back.
In fact, our new relationship stayed secret for all of about three minutes, as Delta took one look at me and immediately knew what had happened—“You were positively glowing, Five Stars!” she later told me—but did make a point of pulling me aside and asking me if all was well, for both me and him. I assured her, of course, that it very much was, and hoped I wasn’t in any trouble for it.
“Not from me,” she promised, “and especially not if you’re both fine with it. Besides, as you’re not the only one to do it, it would seem it’s going to happen whether we want it to or not,” she chuckled.
That caught me short. “Not the only one…?”
Indeed. In truth, we had taken no small amount of pride in our pairing just for thinking that we were pioneers and it was the first of its kind. So imagine our surprise and disappointment to find out we were in fact not the first pony/human couple in history! That honor, as everypony well knows, goes to Lyra Heartstrings, who as it turned out did so two days ahead of us with the human musician I’d initially seen talking with Delta that first night. We did talk and share our experiences afterwards before she returned to Ponyville, and I have to say that in some ways, it turned out she was even more adventurous about it than I was!
Pegasi Pride
I spent the next hour making sure things were ready for the trip, and as usual, there were issues. Some of the catering for an onboard lunch hadn’t arrived, the cloudwalking potion supply was short two containers, and there was a letter from a still-absent Prince Blueblood formally protesting my appropriation of his airship ‘for such a vulgar affair’. Thankfully, I didn’t have to deal with that—Lady Requiem wrote him a reply that isn’t fit to share—but the catering was another matter, as I had to ‘light a fire’ underneath the catering company in another human adage I’d later learn, threaten to make an adverse report on them to the royals which would mean their business being dropped from consideration for future affairs if they didn’t get the food delivered on time.
Needless to say, it was. Through it all, John was never far from my thoughts and I hoped, me from his. Though the good feelings I’d taken from the night were definitely still with me, I couldn’t help but still worry that he was disappointed that I’d turned him down at the end there. I swore I’d make it up to him somehow, but part of me still fretted he’d hold it against me as some stallions might…
Still, the notion brought a smile to my face. For if nothing else, the fact that I was worrying about not getting to be with him again meant that I really was okay with what happened!
Despite the issues, the airship was boarded and lifted off at precisely 10am. Our guests lined the decks and railing, drinks in hoof, though some were less eager to be closer to the edge than others. In all honesty, I was one of them. I knew full well we had unicorns and pegasi at hoof in case anyone somehow fell (and you’d really have to try!) but the fear of falling stayed with me, so I could hardly hold it against our guests. Still, everyone seemed to greatly admire and appreciate Canterlot and the surroundings mountains as seen from the air, given a gorgeous panorama of middle Equestria as we reached our cruising altitude and set off for the great city of the sky.
In truth, I had never been there either, and wasn’t entirely certain to expect. I knew our trip itinerary, of course—an aerial tour and lunch on the airship followed by a two-hour walking one for whoever wished it (hence the cloudwalking potion), seeing the weather factories and flight schools followed by some museums and sparring exhibitions.
It took two hours to cover the hundred and fifty miles from Canterlot to Cloudsdale (the city moves with the seasons changing its location throughout the year), but I have to say, seeing the awestruck reactions of our guests as the great pegasi city came in view really made it worth it. I could hardly say I was unaffected either—the massive columnar structures harkening back to historical ancient times, the multi-tiered rainbow falls, the winged ponies flitting to and fro punctuated by the occasional griffon or even adolescent dragon…
One other thing the visit drove home for me is how alike pegasi are to the griffons in that they did treasure their history and warrior heritage. Since I mentioned it before, the old Equestrian Aerial Corps museum is located here, and there are statues and monuments everywhere dedicated to past pegasi heroes. As much as I wished I could take John with me and tour the former, we didn’t have the time and I wasn’t exactly familiar with the place. Lacking wings, I could hardly navigate it by myself, either!
In the end, about fifty or so guests mustered their courage to take the walking tour, downing the cloudwalking potion. “Makes my tongue tingle,” John said to me as he sipped it, adding that it tasted like orange (probably flavored that way to match its orange glow!). Trust John to be the first to volunteer to test the potion by stepping out from the walkway onto the cloud, and I did cringe to see it, even though pegasi and unicorns were standing by in case by some stretch it didn’t work on a human.
It did, though he was visibly surprised by it. “That’s brilliant…” he said as he tested his footing, then crouched down and experimentally pressed his hand against the surface, finding it surprisingly yielding but also able to support his weight. “It’s like memory foam!” he called back, and that finally convinced some others to try as well, people stepping gingerly off the ship to test their footing. Not everyone was able to handle it, as several got severe vertigo (as I was prone to have in such circumstances) and had to be returned to the ship (to the snickers of some passing pegasi), but in the end, we got a group of about forty together for the walking tour.
We did make one interesting discovery as we started out, though—the potion allowed their drinker to walk on clouds, but not their possessions. We found that out when a purse was dropped and fell right through the cloud base. It was retrieved by a passing pegasus, but we advised everyone to keep their devices in their pockets and not take them out until they were walking on solid surfaces once more.
And so the afternoon went. We started by visiting the Junior Speedsters’ flight school, where foals put on a show demonstrating their recently-learned aerial skill, then the nearby weather factory, where everyone was quite happy to have solid ground underneath them again. They were first given a demonstration of how olden pegasi could manually create wind and weather with wings and hooves (rather remarkable seeing a pegasus stallion take some humid air and then compress it into a cloud!), and then shown how it was now done on a mass scale using a mixture of machines and magic. Demonstrations went on to include lightning and snowfall, and they even pieced together a weak whirlwind that they sent passing through the crowd and was just enough to toss your mane about.
Our guests could only shake their head and take an occasional picture for the most part, though I did hear some mention of how ‘incredible’ or ‘unnatural’ it all was. For his part, John just walked about in wonder again, though he did catch my eye just once to shake his head in amazement at me. “Your world truly is remarkable, Five Stars,” he told me later, saying even he as an author and avid ‘sci-fi’ reader had never imagined such places as this could exist. “But I’m very glad I have now!”
The afternoon ended with a private tour of a pegasi history museum, showcasing their warrior past with separate rooms dedicated to various eras and wars they fought in. To little surprise, John seemed most interested in the military exhibits, and I promised him a visit to the Aerial Corps museum later if he wished. The pegasi service branch of the one-time Equestrian military had been disbanded half a millennia before, but was still a revered organization in pegasi history.
We returned to the airship for dinner, which then took station a thousand feet away as the pegasi put one one final show for us, creating ice glitter in front of the setting sun. It was a beautiful effect, and one that earned a raucous round of applause.
Perspective
We arrived back at Canterlot two hours later—we couldn’t stay in Cloudsdale overnight because we weren’t sure the cloudwalking potions would last long enough, and we were reluctant to give a second one for danger of addiction (a valid concern, as it turned out). As our emotionally exhausted guests were escorted back to our quarters via carriage, I asked John if he wanted to return home again with me.
“Oh! Um… sure?” he said, his voice strangely dull, and he said very little on the ride back. When I asked him what was wrong, he told me “it’s not you, love. It’s just… feeling a mite overwhelmed again.” He shook his head. “It was all marvelous, believe me. It’s just that… well, once again, what you ponies can do… it dwarfs anything we can. It makes me feel… I don’t know. Small. Inadequate,” he admitted, though I would hardly have used either word to describe him! “I mean, we don’t have magic, we can’t control weather… so why would you want anything to do with us? With me?” He finally asked forlornly, sitting on my couch with his head on his hands.
“John…” I called to him, putting a my hoof on his arm, considering my next words carefully. “I didn’t fall for you because you were human or because of your music or what you could do. I fell for you because you’re you,” I immediately assured him. “And believe me, if you’re at all representative of humanity, you have plenty to offer us. Your technology, your science, your…” I trailed off.
“My body?” He suggested slightly wanly.
“Well… maybe,” I admitted with a blush. “The point is, if we thought you were irredeemable or without anything to offer, we wouldn’t have gone to your world or invited you through to ours. The princesses were impressed with your race, and they were impressed because you accomplished all you did without our magic or harmony. I mean, cities of millions? Worldwide travel possible in hours? Trips to your moon? The entire vast knowledge of your species available at the touch of a hoof? We don’t have any of that!” I reminded him.
He sighed and repeated a line he’d told me the first night I met him. “They flatter us, truly, but… every time I think I’ve got this world figured out, it hauls off and gobsmacks me again,” he shook his head. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be a wet blanket. It’s just so bloody much to take in. And please forgive me, but… I’m afraid I’m not in any mood to be frisky right now.”
I blinked at that—did he just apologize to me for not being in the mood? “I wasn’t asking you to be,” I told him, genuinely concerned for him. “It’s been a long day for both of us, and we’ve been on our hooves for hours. It’s nearly ten, so let’s just go to bed,” I offered. “Mine won’t fit both of us, but you can take it if you like. And I’ll do the sofa. Or we can just snuggle up here?” I asked hopefully.
“Here,” he told me, somewhat shortly. “And thanks for understanding. Guess I really don’t want to be alone right now…”
“It’s my pleasure, John,” I assured him, and this time, it was me holding him, and he fell asleep long before me for it.
* * * * *
I stayed awake for a long while that night, just thinking.
Mostly, I was just trying to see things from John’s point of view. A male from a non-magical race visits a magical world for the first time and gets overwhelmed by what he sees. Was it my fault? Perhaps the Canterlot trip was too much for our guests? Or in John’s case, was it just that on top of everything else we had done the previous night? I didn’t really think so on the last score, given he seemed perfectly fine with it and was in fact disappointed he hadn’t gotten to take me on my back, but I couldn’t help but worry.
Regardless of the reasons, he was a treasure, as far as I was concerned—a ‘keeper’ in human parlance, but one I in fact couldn’t keep past his departure date in five days. So, was I being a fool myself? Was I bonding myself emotionally to somepony—excuse me, someone who couldn’t stay with me? Even if he was willing to have sex again later, was it even worth doing anything more with him at this point for the eventual heartbreak it might involve…?
I didn’t find any firm answers to those questions that night, save one—that even if it meant a wrenching cost to me later as we were separated, I did not want to stop seeing him, stop spending time with him, either socially or sexually. I had enjoyed our time together far too much for that, even if our last night had ended on a slightly sour note, and in truth… I really was starting to feel a bit randy again. Somewhat surprisingly, the fact that I was taking care of a stallion was causing some more traditional mare instincts to rise up within me—I really thought of him as mine at that point, and at that point, he was, quite willingly. So, I would be there for him, just as he had me; I would make certain he enjoyed the remainder of his stay as much as possible…
And I also resolved I would have a new and larger bed delivered before he had to leave so we didn’t have to sleep on the floor.
Making the Most of It
Those remaining five days went all too quickly.
The final guest visits were to Celestia’s school for gifted unicorns (“Hogwarts this ain’t!” at least one guest was heard to say, and having seen those movies by now, all I can answer to that is—thank Celestia it’s not!) and out to Ponyville to see some earth pony farms, including one where everyone got ‘the best dang cider of both worlds’ and all the apple pie they could eat, the earth ponies owners giving our human guests a tour of their orchards and showing how they could use their great strength to haul huge loads and buck the apples from the trees. A second farm down the road offered carrots and other vegetables, while a third dealt with grapes and served up some superb juices and berry cobblers. The idea behind these trips was that they’d seen what Pegasi could do, so we would also show them Unicorns and Earth Ponies as well.
In between it all, John and I spent as much time together as possible. He did seem to recover well after a good night’s sleep, dealing with the exhibits of unicorn and earth pony abilities much better than he had pegasi, apologizing immediately upon rising that morning for ‘acting like a bloody wanker’. We talked things over some that morning—about expectations, about what we would do from there. He agreed wholeheartedly he did not want to stop seeing me for what little time we had together, and had in fact been worried that he’d lost me after the way he’d been the previous night. I might have annoyed him when I laughed at that, explaining that “the way you felt was the way I felt the previous morning!” and then he joined me in laughing, remarking what a “pair of bloody fools” we both were.
I’m happy to say, it wasn’t long before we started up again—just the next night in fact, where we went to an expensive restaurant and hotel (compliments of Delta!) and had a very good night together! I don’t think I’ll go into it this time, as we do need some moments private between us! I’ll just say it was every bit as wonderful and magical as that first night had been, and by the end of it we were very practiced and experienced lovers. But all good things must come to an end, and before we knew it, it was the day of departure. Our human guests had been here a full two weeks, and with their electronics now out of power and many saying they were ready to go home, it was time to send them back to their world.
John and I slept in as long as we could that final morning—we got two nights with my Prince-sized new bed, anyway—staying in each other’s arms for as long as possible. But with a noon return time, and a final speech and presentation being given before that, we had to part ways.
I used my final round of duties as a distraction from his pending departure, getting everything ready for our last event, held just as the first night’s one was in the Canterlot Gardens. Our guests were having one final group lunch before leaving, and we were also to witness a signing ceremony—the final details of the Equestrian/Terran trade agreement had been hashed out behind the scenes, establishing a set of rules for trade and tourism across the portal.
“Twilight Sparkle has been instrumental in this agreement, just as she was instrumental in opening the portal and doing so much in bringing our two worlds together,” Princess Celestia said with the air of a proud mother. “It is my great hope that this pact will bring great benefit to both sides, and is in keeping with the highest traditions of friendship and harmony,” she said as she signed the document, and the human ambassador did the same to the applause and hoofstomps of all present, my own included.
That had been on the event schedule. The next thing to happen was decidedly not. “Before we bring down the curtain on this visit, and return our honored guests to their own world, there is one final ceremony I invite you all to witness. Twilight Sparkle, step forward,” The Princess commanded, and her former student did so promptly, if in some surprise.
Celestia regarded her for a moment as Luna and Cadance stepped forward as well; the former having made it a point to stay up long enough to see our guests off even if she did look noticeably tired for it. “You have made me very proud, my former student,” she began as Twilight bowed low, flaring her wings in royal greeting. “When I first sent you to Ponyville some years ago, you knew little about friendship or harmony. You have learned much of both in that time, and you put it to work here, working tirelessly to see that not only this treaty would be signed, but that this first visit of humanity to our world would be a success. As I look out among our guests today and see the friendships they have forged with their pony hosts, I cannot but be proud, and realize that were it not for you, none of it would be possible. And for this, you have earned this greatest of all honors…”
She extended a wingtip and tapped her on one shoulder, than the other in turn as Twilight’s eyes grew wide, perhaps finally realizing what this all meant. “For all you have done and the friendships you have brought to be, not just between ponies but between two very different worlds and races, I bestow your formal title, and it is well-earned. You are now and forever… The Princess of Friendship!”
The applause and hoofstomps that followed were thunderous.
Sweet Sorrow
It was less than an hour later that our guests were boarding the train that would take them back to the portal, retracing their initial steps. A bittersweet occasion to be sure; I did remember somewhat ruefully at that point that when they first arrived, I couldn’t wait for their visit to be over with, and now that it was…
I wanted them to stay! Or at least wanted one particular human to…
What do you give your soon-to-be-departing alien lover as a parting gift? Well, I took a page from my time with my dentist friend so many years earlier, and offered him… an amber jewel etched with my cutie mark I’d had made the previous day. “I’ll treasure it always,” he promised me, but felt bad he couldn’t give me much back.
As far as I was concerned, he’d given me plenty, but if he insisted he wanted me to have something of his… “How about your pen?” I suggested, pointing at his pocket. “First thing I noticed about you, after all…”
He put on a look of mock horror and covered the pocket protectively with his hand. “My dear Five Stars! An author never gives up his pen!” he informed me, then paused and grinned. “Except to the fair lady who won his heart,” he finished slyly, then knelt before me like I was royalty and presented the pen to me like a sword in front of everyone, to the laughter of human and pony alike. He was a ham to the end, and I couldn’t help but laugh as well for it.
We sent our guests back through one by one, Twilight Sparkle and the princesses seeing each off personally. When it came John’s turn, we hugged hard, and didn’t let go. I had waffled over doing it to this point, but I finally relented and reared up to give him a long, lingering kiss in front of everyone, to mixture of shocked and approving sounds. “Write me?” I asked him, and he promised he would… “when they get the cross-portal postal service set up, that is…”
Finally, it was his turn to pass through the portal, at which point he turned back towards me and bowed low before me. “Until we meet again… Miss Five Stars.”
“Until next time… John…” I told him, then watched with a tear in my eye as he blew me a kiss and walked backwards through the gate, his gaze on me the whole time…
And then he was gone, impossibly far away.
A Changed Mare
I’ve heard it said that a mind stretched by a new ideas never returns to its original dimensions. Such, I sensed even then, was going to be the case with me. Having known my first man, having spent a week with him as friends and lovers, I was a changed mare. I wasn’t quite sure what it all meant yet, but I knew one thing as Delta gently led me away…
That I not only wanted to know a man’s love and favor again, I wanted other mares to experience it as well. And with that, I now bring down the curtain on this climactic tale. With its end, I’m now nearing the end of my story—there aren’t more than two or three articles remaining at this point as I detail the aftermath of these events, my first meetings with Platinum Corona and the eventual formation of G4M; we’re also planning one final Q&A session for our closing article. But I could hardly write this without including a letter from that wonderful first human lover, a man I remember fondly even now:
Dear Five Stars—
Needless to say, I’ve followed your articles with keen interest these past few months, though I regret they were nearly half-done before I became aware of them! But you know me—I tend to get engrossed in small details and miss the bigger picture. It’s my gift and curse as a writer; I see little things that everyone else misses while overlooking the larger ones everyone else sees.
I’m just very happy you were one of those things I saw, as overwhelmed as I was when I first arrived in Equestria. In fact, it wasn’t until after I met a young unicorn lady at a bookstore in Fillydelphia I can only describe as your doppleganger that I learned of your works! You write superbly, I must say, and though I can’t say I dabble in the romance genre much, you’d make a mint in it! I knew then that you’d likely want to get in touch with me before telling our story, but traveling Equestria trying to drum up interest for my latest novels under an alias as I was at that point, you weren’t likely to find me.
So, I tried to find you instead, making a point of swinging through Manehattan on my latest bookselling meet-the-author tour. I didn’t give you warning because I wanted to surprise you, only to visit G4M headquarters and learn that you were on holiday in the Crystal Empire. Thankfully, with the help of a secretary and a friendly Gentleman or two, I was able to meet Platinum Corona and explain my purpose in coming, and leave a letter with her for you. We missed connections then, but I sincerely hope we will not a second time!
I’ve little to add to your description of that week, except to say I really did have no real understanding of all the things you’d been through before I read your articles, and now it makes more sense why you reacted badly to being on your back again at first. In the end, I’ve had far more favorable experiences with mares than human women; I hope you consider it flattery that my latest partner looks almost exactly like you! But you never forget your first, and I’d never forget you. That week remains as deeply etched in my memory as it does yours, and it gratifies me greatly to know that I was able to play such a big role in your life as you did for me
Perhaps the stars did align for us, as you say, but it still wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t you—if you weren’t willing and able to take a chance on an introverted and rather unsuccessful author with a thin resume who just happened to win a lottery for the one of the few first seats to Equestria. If you weren’t to take the time to get to to know him; if you weren’t willing to draw him out of his shell and make him notice you.
It goes without saying that I feel no more shame about our time together now than I did then, and certainly do not regret it. Which is not to say I’ve taken no guff for it—one of my ex-human ladyfriends called me a ‘perv’ among other choice terms when I told her I preferred the company of mares. My response to that is quite simple: if the definition of ‘perv’ is enjoying the company of lovely equine ladies that enjoyed my company and appreciated my efforts far more than my human girlfriends ever did, then guilty as charged. When it comes down to it, you’re bloody right—men and mares were meant for each other.
So where am I now? In Equestria, where I much prefer to be, hawking my latest works and finally finding some success as an author. In truth, I’ve been writing and touring under a pen name simply because I like the spy thriller allure of it. But now? I think me and my works will do better if I reveal myself fully and reap the publicity whirlwind. You’ve put yourself out there and made yourself the public face of both Gentlemen and human/pony relationships, so as your first man, I feel I can do no less. I’ve no doubt you’ll fret about me revealing my name in light of what happened to your old herdmates, but fear not—I’ve plenty of friends and lovers now, and part of the reason I write spy novels is that I know many tricks of the trade!
To my first and favorite mare,
Shaun “John” Rhys, aka RS Bradley
PS: I read over your article draft, and you’re right—I am VERY delighted to know your ancestor was a spy! I look forward to seeing the movie, and be assured I’ll be writing a character based on you and her into my next book!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Shaun. It feels so good to tell this story and remember that week; writing these last three articles made all the bad moments I had to relive over the yearlong course of this project worth it.
Still, I do think you’re being a bit modest. You’re putting it all on me for drawing you out, but you forget that I wasn’t exactly easy to approach at that point either. Your charm, your wit, your willingness to engage me, and above all else your basic warmth and decency were what drew me to you back then. I said it earlier, I’ll say it again—you were the prototypical Gentleman long before the idea for them had ever crystallized in either mine or Platinum Corona’s head. Whenever I give training classes, I’m always remembering the time we spent together as an ideal for how a Gentleman’s evening with a mare should go.
I’m very sorry we missed connections a month or two back—to borrow your own phrase, you’re bloody right I would have been shocked (and delighted!) to see you! Your letter was welcome, and brought tears to my eyes to read. It was quite hard not sharing it or giving away the fact that I’d been in touch with you, but I’ve had plenty of practice keeping secrets and slipping out unseen over the past ten months. I’d worry that someone might get wind of our plans, but that’s not a concern now.
For by the time this article runs, we’ll have already had our rendezvous… and hopefully made up for lost time!
(PS: And this time… you are more than welcome to take me belly-to-belly!)