Five Star Service - A Gentleman for Mares Tale
Chapter 16: Part 15: Bed, Breakfast and Blessed Events
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By Five Stars of Manehattan
Special to the New York Life and Manehattan Post Magazines
September 7 issues
New York Life Chief Editor’s Note:
We have been getting some new pushback of late, most notably for my ‘rudeness’ for using an expletive in the last article, with critics claiming that I should ‘be civil’ and ‘respect the feelings of others’ who may not agree with me and ‘not cheer our court victory’.
“Grandstanding is unbecoming a journalist”, one letter-writer said. “If you can’t be gracious and humble, you shouldn’t be editing,” another told me, and pressure is now building once again for my dismissal.
I wasn’t aware we were so uptight that a simple use of a single four-letter word would warrant such action, but fine. My apologies for expressing my sentiments as any dyed-in-the-wool New Yorker would. Perhaps it was unprofessional, but seriously… that is nothing compared to the abuse and invective we had to endure for weeks.
Since I’m apparently not allowed to express my emotions or even have them like a regular person, I guess I’ll just let a newfound friend do it for me…
Take it away, Hot Topic.
—Kalido Tenna, Chief Editor, New York Life Magazine
Manehattan Post Owner’s Note:
Well then. Since it appears some feelings have been hurt, allow me to step up to the plate and offer my own two bits to something that barely rates a single rut on the rudeness meter.
To everyone calling for ‘respect’ and criticizing Kalido for ‘incivility’: Where was your concern for such things when this paper and mine were under siege? Where was your ‘respect’ for freedom of speech and press when we took a principled stand against harassment and worse? Where was your concern for journalistic ethics when hit pieces were published on me and other publications aided and abetted the public exposure of Gentlemen names, driving several of them into hiding—my own included?
Kalido may have to make nice for the cameras, but I don’t. I have nothing but contempt for those of you who so gleefully cheered our attackers and now claim personal injury for a single four-letter word I encouraged her to use as a means to vent. If you’re getting on her case for THAT, you’re the biggest bunch of hypocrites I’ve ever met—and having spent most of my life in Canterlot and Manehattan, that’s saying a lot. So kindly, as the humans I work with say, fuck off and go to hell.
* * * * *
On a more gracious note, my thanks to Kalido for letting me see and help edit the latest article, giving me the run of her offices and showing me how the news and presses actually work here. Color me impressed at both human technology and the ways it can be misused. If the worst should happen, she is more than welcome to come to Equestria and work in my newsroom. She and her staff have been very gracious hosts and I’ve had a good fill of New York hospitality while I’ve continued to search for my lost Gentleman.
No luck so far. I even stopped in to meet his family, who has not heard from him since his resignation. No surprise there—he’s probably afraid of their reception right now, and what may happen if he shows his face. So I make a public appeal to him: You don’t have to hide, Chris. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Please come out of the shadows and return to Equestria with me. I’m asking not as your client, but as your friend. Come home to where you now belong.
And Five Stars? I fulfilled your request to hoof-deliver some letters and will be bringing back a pair of private messages in response for you. One is from the staff of the New York Life. The other is from you-know-who.
—Hot Topic, Owner and Founder, Manehattan Post Magazine
Thanks, Hot Topic. I look forward to reading both. Sorry to be coy about the identity of you-know-who, but I’d prefer not to drag any more friends or former lovers through the mud of media scrutiny. So far, nobody’s been able to figure out the identities of my third herd. And given what’s happened to Cayenne and Braeburn, I’ll do my best to keep it that way.
There have been a couple more incidents to speak of regarding Gentlemen since my last article. The organized harassment campaign has pretty much ended but in its place are still a few lone actors taking out their frustrations where they can. Here in Manehattan, we had an irate unicorn stallion confront a Gentleman entertaining his former marefriend. He had apparently been spying on her correspondence and, after tossing the Gentlemen aside with his magic, tried to drag the pleading pegasus mare off.
Fortunately for the mare and unfortunately for him, he chose exactly the wrong Gentleman to mess with and was apparently unaware that we now only allow dates in monitored areas, with recorder crystals and human ‘videocameras’ at work. Our Gentlemen come from all walks of human life, and this one… was a former mixed-martial arts fighter who had been giving lessons to all Gentlemen on basic self-defense against ponies—something I’d never dreamt would be necessary before the last couple months.
He proved the veracity of his methods by practical demonstration. A unicorn’s magic is only effective as long as they can focus, and he gave him no chance to after that. A thrown bottle disrupted his concentration and aura, releasing the mare, and then an upended table held his attention long enough to miss the blow that came to the side of his head. Once that connected he had no chance—a hard strike to the horn disabled his magic, and then he was pinned to the ground and made to pass out by the Gentleman putting him in a headlock and pressure on his carotid artery, cutting off the flow of blood to his brain… just as he’d once done to a rival fighter, he later told the story. It was only at the mare’s pleading that he didn’t do further damage—the instinct to protect stallions, even ones who have wronged us, remain very strong with Equestrian females—but he did hold him in place until the police arrived a bare minute later, keep the stallion’s foreleg in a very painful-looking lock.
All this was recorded by a nearby videocamera and we got to see it later. Have to say, he’s now the man of the hour here at G4M, and is getting a lot of new client requests. After giving the police his statement—it was all recorded so he wasn’t arrested himself—he offered the mare in question his apologies and two free future dates in exchange for ending that one.
She declined… but not because she was upset. She was apparently quite in awe of his prowess and physique, now accented by his torn clothes, to say nothing of his determination to defend her—a total stranger. And therein lies another reason why human men are increasingly popular with Equestrian mares: their programmed willingness to protect and fight for females, even ones not of their friends, family or species. With some exceptions—and I’ve been lucky enough to know a few—stallions generally don’t do that. Mares are expected to fight for males, not the other way around.
Anyway, the mare in question was so taken with him after that she dragged him off to their hotel room by his torn tie where she rutted his brains out, paying him double afterwards. I daresay he’s now got a regular client and has also helped establish that properly trained humans are NOT helpless before pony strength or magic—something many of us already knew, but some still have to learn the hard way.
We’ve also received late word that one of our exposed Gentlemen (not Hot Topic’s, unfortunately) has come out of the shadows and plans to give an interview on earth on a popular ‘TV talk show’, defending himself and his profession. We’ll be getting to see it as soon as someone gets a copy across the portal. I plan to watch it on my tablet with the Gentlemen I work with. Speaking of my tablet, I’ve lately been discovering its other capabilities, including the various games and ‘applications’ it possesses. Have to say, some of the former are rather addicting...
Also, we’re going to take advantage of the publicity generated by this interview to do something a little different for the next article, which will be our second Q&A session. I will take some questions myself as promised, but we will also offer the opportunities for readers to ask questions of actual Gentlemen as well. Anything goes, as long as it’s not too insulting or offensive.
Instructions for submitting questions will follow at the end of this article. Before then, however… it’s time to finish the story of my third herd.
Bed…
Hearth’s Warming was a happy time for me and my third herdmates, a celebration of our finished cottage and our rekindled relationships. Only token presents were exchanged—we were all pretty tapped out after spending our savings to complete the renovations—but we made do with a surprisingly good feast and cheaply decorated tree.
A week later, we threw our first cottage party for friends and family on New Year’s Eve—certainly nothing as raunchy as what happened in Las Pegasus, other than Juniper getting buzzed on sparkling cider and hitting on my brother, but a good time all the same. That aside, I think my brother was just relieved to see how happy we were—he loved me, but he really didn’t want me to move back in with him, and as I’d told him before we were having problems, he must have thought that was a distinct possibility. My sisters were there too; my younger ones asking when we would have foals (I nearly choked on an hors d’oeuvre) while my older one made some snark about Red Pepper being a carbon copy of Cayenne (which he definitely wasn’t).
(“Like your stallions spicy, Five Stars?” she smirked at me at one point. “Yes, and he’s got a very hot pepper!” I retaliated with an evil grin, which made her shut up. She’d gained a grudging respect for me after I’d beaten her in a fight the previous year, but still liked to mouth off every so often. It would be another couple years before she finally stopped acting like a petulant teen around me.)
The night was fun, and, nicely buzzed myself, I even ended up making out with Juniper as the clock struck midnight, causing my brother to blush. Braeburn she wasn’t, but it did feel good to be able to do so unreservedly. We ended up sleeping together, and I treated her to some oral—first time we’d done anything since that night. When she asked me somewhat breathlessly how I’d gotten so good, I told her one of my first herdmates had been a thestral and she nearly climaxed on the spot.
Breakfast…
The party over, it was time to face a new year. We cleaned up and bade our guests goodbye the next day, sleeping off some hangovers before we put our new plans into motion—turning our cottage into a new Bed and Breakfast.
And within a few months, we did. I consider the first half of that year a rare golden time in my herd life, where everything clicked and worked. We were on good terms, everypony pitched in and helped out, and all of us worked towards the day where we could open our new waterfront B&B, which saw its first customers in time for Remembrance Day in late May—the official start of the summer vacation season.
In truth, I didn’t get much service from our herd stallion during that time, but for what I considered valid reasons—he and Sea Salt had to rebuild their relationship fully following months of hurt. He did sleep with me and Juniper a couple times just to make clear he hadn’t forgotten us, but his ruttings were pretty perfunctory—certainly, nothing like the full treatment we’d been given on that night.
To be sure, every so often he would do one of his patented remote ruttings on us—most notably once when I was trying to show a prospective investor around the house! I still don’t know how I managed to hide it, but Red Pepper was using a virtual cooler on me the whole time while Sea Salt and Juniper just watched and smirked. I had to bite my lip to keep myself from crying out more than once, though I guess I succeeded since we did get the loan. With Sea Salt’s help, I eventually retaliated by giving him oral under the table while he was trying to sign the loan in front of the same investor! He did get the document signed, if a little shakily… but it was a mark of our herd’s strength that we could play pranks like that without hurting things between us.
As for Sweet Tea, no rutting for her as her therapy continued, but she was getting better and was also our main source of income while we were readying our new B&B for business. She took a job as a barmare at a nearby pub and quickly became the favorite of the both the manager and patrons, her special drinkmaking talent serving her and her guests well. Red Pepper and Sea Salt chipped in as well, running a boardwalk food cart on the weekends, while Juniper took odd jobs around town. I regret to say that there wasn’t much I could do to earn money at that point, as most of my efforts were focused on putting our new business together and lining up our initial customers. By the end of May, we had them and entertained our first guests.
All was going well and we had a slowly increasing stream of business through the summer as word got around. It was then that an event occurred that had never happened before in my herd life; an event that would change everything for us...
Sea Salt was pregnant.
Blessed Events
There are some events in life that you forever remember where you were and what you were doing when you heard the news. Celestia knows there’s been more than a few of those over the past ten years—Nightmare Moon’s return, the Changeling Invasion, the discovery of humanity, and, on happier notes… in April of that year, a royal proclamation announcing there was a new princess.
Twilight Sparkle, the longtime student of Princess Celestia, had ascended to Alicorn status, becoming the fourth pony princess. Details were a little sketchy, and there was some odd behavior from ponies around that time—me and my herdmates almost seemed to swap roles and personalities for a while there; I remember Sweet Tea and I trying to cook with disastrous results as Red Pepper ruined the hedge trimming, and Sea Salt struggling to balance our business books while Juniper made a mess of the bar trying to fix her a drink—but whatever it was, it passed quickly.
It seemed Miss Sparkle had ascended by completing the spell of one of the great unicorn mages of all time—Starswirl the Bearded: “From all of us together, together we are friends. With the marks of our destinies made one, there is magic without end,” was the completed incantation, though mere words cannot describe the effect that spell had on all of us, as feelings of harmony and fellowship descended upon all of Equestria not at all unlike what had happened when the Crystal Heart was reborn. Our newest royal wouldn’t receive her kingdom or get her official title—the Princess of Friendship—until a year later, but such a rare and momentous event set off celebrations throughout Equestria.
It was a little different here, as a national holiday was proclaimed and we had an open house in her honor, food and drink being served freely. In a throwback to my Las Pegasus days, I served, dealt cards, and even joined Sweet Tea behind our bar to make drinks for our guests. A royal time was had by all (pun intended), and Red Pepper and Sea Salt had their own private celebration afterwards. She’d come into estrus just a few days earlier, and they apparently conceived that night.
Foals and Favorites
The herd is the basic family unit of ponies. Its entire reason for being is to propagate the species and to ensure that we both have enough foals and are able to provide for them. And yet, for all my time in herds, they were not something I had any familiarity with. For the first time in my experience, a herd I was in was going to serve its true purpose, and despite the delight and hugs that followed their announcement in June, I honestly wasn’t sure how that would change things for us.
We didn’t have long to find out. Red Pepper got a lot more doting on Sea Salt, spending more time with her… and less with the rest of us. In fact, he almost seemed to emotionally distance himself to the point that he didn’t want to spend time with anypony else. He tried to placate us with his remote ruttings, but even they got more impersonal, like he was just doing them to keep us happy, not because he wanted to.
I tolerated that for a while, deciding it was just Sea Salt’s pregnancy that was making him act odd and once the shock had worn off, he’d be back to his old self again. But after a couple months where things were getting worse instead of better, Juniper and I pulled him aside and made clear we were feeling a little neglected—that his virtual ruttings could be fun, but when it came down to it, we wanted him inside us, not just his aura. We wanted to be kissed, be cuddled… all the personal things that just screwing us with a virtual cooler didn’t deliver.
To his credit, he tried to rectify that, making a point to sleep with us several times over the next couple weeks. And yet… it didn’t help at all. I can’t speak for Juniper, but for me… it just wasn’t any fun. And the biggest reason was because I could see the look on his face both before and after—he wasn’t enjoying himself. He wasn’t enjoying us. And it was only when I saw how loving and affectionate he was with Sea Salt in comparison that I understood why.
It wasn’t that he didn’t like me or Juniper, and it wasn’t even that his lead mare was pregnant. It was that his heart belonged to Sea Salt, and in his mind, to give another mare the same kind of attention and full treatment he gave her was betraying that. In truth, even before the pregnancy he’d never been for physical ruttings as much as remote ones, and in hindsight, it was his way of keeping some emotional distance…
His way of reserving his deepest physical and emotional intimacy for her.
And therein lies the single greatest flaw of a herd. It’s a structure designed for polygamy and multiple partners, but not everypony is wired that way. It’s not even a mare/stallion thing; it’s that some ponies, like Red Pepper, simply can’t split themselves emotionally. And even for those who can, like Cayenne (if he’d been allowed to), it’s just asking too much for a stallion to love or treat everypony equally.
Even without an abusive lead mare like my first herd, favorites are inevitably played, like Red Pepper with Sea Salt, and some mares end up not getting the attention others do. That’s fine if you’re just good with the occasional cuddle or rare rut like Sweet Tea was at that point, or if you’re more into mares like, say, Willow and Snow Lily were, but not-so-fine if you’re like me—needing and craving male company, and not willing to go outside of the herd to get it like Juniper (we were all pretty sure she was seeing some stallions on the side at that point. Nopony complained since that kept her happy and focused at home.)
So is it any wonder that so many mares, even ones in herds, inevitably seek out Gentlemen? When a herd or herd stallion doesn’t give you what you need, you have to get it from somewhere. The purpose of Gentlemen isn’t to steal away mares from their herds, but more than a few have left them after an encounter with one, realizing they have other options now and they’re not locked into unhappy situations anymore. If that’s ‘encouraging adultery and disharmony’ as I’ve heard some ponies describe Gentlemen, then guilty as charged. I’d rather see ponies break the rules and be happy than rigidly follow them and never truly know a male’s attention or love. ‘Harmony’ is not a social contract to feel neglected and unhappy for the sake of staying in a herd.
The Ties That Bind
Things came to a head one day in late summer, with Sea Salt starting to show (and could somepony tell why relationship and herd things always seem to happen with me around that time?)
Four months into Sea Salt’s pregnancy, tensions were rising within our group again, with some short tempers and harsh words having been exchanged between me and our two lead members. We had no wish for things to descend to the depths they had before the Crystal Empire’s rebirth, so we sat down and tried to hash things out immediately.
As Sweet Tea played barmare—just her presence kept things civil, and her drinks kept our tongues loose without crossing the line into outright bickering—we discussed personal grievances and living arrangements. The main question before us was how we were going to both run the B&B and raise foals in the same house, only to realize… it really wasn’t possible without a house expansion we just didn’t have the money for, and even then, we wouldn’t have the income to support everypony and probably wouldn’t for some time. We’d end up with a tight budget and cramped quarters again, be unable to give ourselves, our foals, or our guests the space and privacy we all needed. But even if not, as long as Red Pepper continued to devote all his time and emotional energy to Sea Salt, there was little point in having a herd.
Red Pepper was chagrined and promised things would be better after Sea Salt gave birth, but nopony believed him. “It won’t,” I told him, going on to explain why, saying I didn’t blame him but at the same time, I wasn’t getting what I needed and increasingly felt like the fifth wheel of our group. Juniper agreed and later talked to me privately, saying she could set me up with some stallions on the side like her, but… I didn’t feel right doing that. We were still a herd, and that wasn’t a line I was willing to cross. Things would be different come my fourth herd, but… that’s a story for later.
It was a good, frank talk. We slept on things afterwards, agreeing to meet up again for a final decision in a week, though I think we already knew in our hearts what had to happen. In the end, there was really only one choice that would save our B&B, provide space and sufficient income for new foals, and yet still maintain our friendships… and that was to break up our herd, have a couple of us move out so there would be enough room and money for those who remained. It was thus, just over a year after our herd’s inception… we returned to city hall and signed the documents that ended it.
That we knew we were doing the right thing was little solace. It was a sad and somber time for all of us, and more than a few tears were exchanged as Juniper and I started moving out. We’d been through a lot, we’d overcome a lot, and yet… it still wasn’t enough in the end, leaving me wondering if I was somehow cursed.
Was there nothing I could ever do that would make a herd work?
Reflections
My third herd’s failure was another bitter horse pill to swallow. Still, there was no denying that many good things that came out it, including a new B&B and the single best night of herd sex I’ve ever had.
Our friendships and new business endured even if our herd did not, and I’m happy to say I’ve kept in touch with all of my former third herdmates over the years. Sea Salt and Red Pepper stayed behind to run the B&B along with Sweet Tea, who didn’t need lovers or herd at that point so much as supportive friends, and in time made an excellent nanny and foalsitter. Juniper moved out but stayed nearby to do the groundskeeping duties and help out when needed, but she fully resumed the role in life she was always meant to play—a free agent and party animal.
And as for me… I stayed in town long enough to make sure the B&B’s business affairs were in order, but eventually decided it was time to move on again. True, I could have stayed like the rest to help run or at least transition the B&B, but in the end, I decided that would bind me emotionally to the place and wouldn’t help me move on. It was hard to say goodbye to everypony again, but at least this time, it was on good terms. The entire group was there to see me off from the train station, and we all shared a good cry as we said goodbye. I promised I would keep in touch, and I did.
There was one weird and rather shocking coincidence, however, that accompanied my departure… one that ended up keeping me from brooding too much (at least, not about my latest lost herd!) The day before I left, a letter arrived from Las Pegasus that I ended up reading on the train ride out. It was announcement from Willow and Snow Lily that they were joining a new herd. In it was a picture of them with their new herd stallions, and my jaw hit the floor when I saw who they were...
Aces Up and Double Down!!!!!
While readers digest that (and make no mistake, it took ME a very long time to!), I’d like to share some letters given to me by the ponies and still-friends of my third herd. Apologies for the occasional redaction, but I’m being very careful not to expose them and certain information could give them away.
Dear Five Stars,
Well, we really have to say… of all the jobs we ever thought you might end up, training human men in pony sex was definitely not something that ever crossed our minds! We have followed your articles curiously if not eagerly—we’ve certainly had a few human customers by now, but have no interest in bedding them. We’re happy with each other, as we always were, and the biggest lesson we learned from that whole herd experience is that we needed to be in an exclusive relationship.
In truth, we’ve been asked more than once whether we are, in fact, your old herdmates, and we tell them no, pointing out that our Maretle Beach home is nowhere near Baltimare. When challenged about the similarity of names and the fact we’re unicorns, we just list the names of a dozen other stallion and mare unicorn chefs we’ve known in the restaurant industry that were based on spices as well, including several couples. So far it’s worked and we hope to keep it that way.
Don’t know how you pulled off getting all our old residency and business records removed, but thanks for all the effort to hide our identities. We don’t like lying, but we’d rather keep our privacy intact and our cottage a cozy retreat—which it categorically would NOT be if the press suddenly descended on us. I suppose you could argue the publicity would be good for business, but that’s not what we’re about.
Still… your original observation was correct—when all was said and done, we made better friends than herdmates, and breaking up was the right thing to do, hard though it was at the time. You know what became of us afterwards, how we got married and became that rarest of pony couples, a Matched Set of a single mare and stallion. To those who complained or told us we were being selfish, we simply said we were following in the footsteps of Prince Shining Armor and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza—after those two paired off, matched sets got a lot more acceptable. Amazing what effect a little royal love affair will have!
Regardless, the B&B you helped found remains in business… though we still haven’t found anypony as good with finances and hospitality services as you. So come visit sometime! Our foals would love to meet their Aunt Five Stars! To be sure, the place looks a lot different now—like most of the Equestrian hospitality industry, we had to make some upgrades to accommodate human guests, and we think you’d appreciate the changes.
And as for that one night… well, we daresay it will never be equaled. And you know what? That’s fine. Let THAT be the defining moment of our herd than any of our issues or eventual breakup.
With Warm Memories,
—Ocean Spray and Serrano Seed, a.k.a. “Sea Salt” and “Red Pepper”
Thanks, you two. I’m very happy you found contentment and an arrangement that works for you. Consider the B&B a gift from the rest of us. And yes, I’d very much like to see you again. I promise I’ll make an effort to do so… but you’ll forgive me if I think it best to wait until the press frenzy has died down a bit.
Moving on...
Hey Star-Butt!
Long time no hear! I’ve been following your articles and I gotta say, you’ve got a job that makes me jealous—getting paid to lay all the human guys you want and teach them how to properly pleasure mares? Sign me up!
Still, I know where you’re coming from and do get the appeal. I’ve had my fill of human guys by now, starting with one who gave me a good grope in a Baltimare bar and I invited to my place after, and yeah, I agree they’re often—but not always—better than the average stallion. You’ll be happy to know I’ve broken in more than a few myself by now, one in particular I see regularly and is probably the closest thing to an actual coltfriend I’ve ever had. Don’t know if I could ever truly settle down, but if I’d do it for anyone, I’d do it for him.
I do find it interesting you made me an earth pony instead of a pegasus—can’t imagine my sex life without my wings!—but that’s for the best, I guess. As much as I like being the center of attention, some notoriety not even I need. Nobody’s guessed that ‘Juniper’ is me, and yeah, that’s the way I’d rather keep it. We had some rough times that year, as well as some really good ones… most notably THAT NIGHT...
It saved our friendships, even if not our herd in the end. There are times I wish things ended differently for us—that night was hooves down the most fun I’ve ever had, doubly so for that foursome we ended up in! But you know… the best part of the night wasn’t the sex for me. It was the feeling of being forgiven and seeing our precious ‘Sweetie’ heal; knowing she was finally going to be okay.
I’ll never live down what I did to her, and now, whenever I want to lay somepony I sense is a little iffy, I just ask myself one simple question: would I do this if it were her? If the answer is no (and it always is), I don’t go on. It’s saved me from myself more than once. I still love [Sweet Tea] to death, and honestly you as well… how can I NOT love ponies who found it in themselves to forgive me after what I did?
Love to see you again—don’t be surprised if I show up at the doorstep of G4M looking for you someday! Serious, though, enjoy your fame, and all those human stallions! Rut a couple for me! No Gentlemen needed for this mare… because I always get my man (and occasional woman!) anyway!
—Tiger Lily, a.k.a. “Juniper Berry”
I have absolutely no doubt that’s true, ‘Junie’. You were always the proverbial tiger, a predator of ponies who stalked stallions and mares alike. No surprise that carries over to humans now!
I’m glad to know you learned from that whole ordeal, and I certainly acknowledge you did your very best to make things right. I saw your heart that evening as you saw mine, saw your remorse was real, and that’s why I was able to forgive you… let alone do all the other things we did that night! We’ll find a way to get up sometime, I promise.
And last but definitely not least…
Hello Five Stars—
It’s been awhile and I’ve really missed you. I’m glad to see you finally found your true calling, even if I find the idea of it a little difficult. I’ve read your articles, and I see you made me an earth pony instead of a unicorn. That’s fine—I don’t want anypony to know it was me.
But I do want to thank you for all the ways you tried to help me. Of our entire herd, I felt most at ease around you, and having you there that night gave me the courage to do what I did. I’d like your readers to know once more that I don’t want anypony hating [Juniper] for what she did. She didn’t mean to hurt me, and she’s done everything she can to make it up—lately she’s even been trying to set me up with a stallion! I’m going to try going out on a date with him next week...
I wish I could say I’ve made some friends among humans, but the truth is that they are, well, a little scary to me. They’re tall, they’ve got those teeth, they eat meat… but they do have all sorts of new alcohol and mixed drinks for me to learn and tinker with. I actually sent away for a list of bartending recipes from earth, and you would not believe how big it is! I think you’re very brave to work with them, let alone rut them—I don’t think I could!
Please visit sometime? I’d love to see you again and show you some of the new drinks I can make...
With love and friendship,
—Mint Julep, a.k.a. “Sweet Tea”
But I’m not brave, Sweetie. Bravery is doing the things you’re afraid to, as you did repeatedly, first by facing Juniper and then by facing your fears and letting Red Pepper rut you for the first time.
I’m very glad I could be there for you and that I was able to help in some small way. I know firsthoof that the hardest and bravest choice sometimes is just to heal, and I wish you the best of luck with your prospective coltfriend—I trust ‘Junie’ to not push you now, and you to not let yourself be pushed.
And yes, I would love to come visit and see what you can do with human alcohol!
With that, the story of my third herd is complete. I can’t help but feel an echo of the emotions I felt then, the regrets and mistakes, the painful decision to end it, the cold comfort that it was the right thing to do… but then I also remember all the good that came out it, the fun times we had, the friendships that endured and the lessons we all learned. It enriched us all, and in the end, you can’t ask for anything more out of relationships than that.
As promised, next week’s article will be a Q&A session, not just for myself but for our illustrious Gentlemen as well. Instructions will follow on how to submit questions. We look forward to your queries, and the coming interview on earth. We may even include some parts of it in the article.