It was a peaceful day once again at the Ponyville Precinct. Berry Punch was sleeping off a nasty hangover in her privately-reserved cell, Fluttershy was outside tending to the birds that had flown carelessly into the very clean window of Detective Gumshoe’s office, and it seems the good detective had been spared the terror of the ‘Cutie Mark Crusader Detectives’ this fine day.

Things were looking up indeed, but they were also looking kind of slow. Berry Punch was the only pony locked up, and that wasn’t even because she was a prisoner. She just had a little too much fun at the bar the previous night and had locked herself out of her house. Her daughter was sleeping at a friend’s house, so there was no way for her to get in until she had sobered up enough to remember where her keys were, and until then Detective Gumshoe had offered her a bed inside the precinct.

“Well, it can’t really be helped,” Gumshoe said as he reached for a bottle of gin sitting upon his desk. He found that it was empty and clicked his tongue, moving his hoof over to the vodka sitting beside it. “It’s not like anything ever happens in Ponyville… Well, it does, but it’s always stuff where arresting the culprit isn’t really possible. Parasprites, strange ailments, the Princess’ student going bonkers. Hell, I was half-tempted to slap a pair of cuffs over that big dog just so I could actually be the hero for once.”

“You should be happy about that, though,” Gumshoe’s assistant, the sock puppet Mr. Doyle, said as Gumshoe shook his right forehoof whilst his left poured the vodka into a glass. “It means all is right in our beautiful town, and nopony is in trouble. And it’s not like you’re paid by how many ponies you bring in. You’re on government funding.”

“I know,” Gumshoe replied. “But there’s only so many times a crossword or a sudoku book can keep me sane while I sit here with only a sock puppet to talk to all day. It’s not like I can leave because on the off chance somepony does come in here, I’d be fired if I wasn’t here!”

“Maybe you should ask the mayor to install a TV in here.”

“Yeah right. Those things are expensive. Maybe if I’m lucky I can get a partner to take half of my shift for me, but of course Canterlot only funds one day and one night officer. Mayor Mare’s too busy throwing money around to appease the new Princess.”

Both Gumshoe and Doyle sighed. Gumshoe brought the vodka to his mouth and took a big drink, gulping the whole glass down in a matter of seconds. “Man,” Gumshoe said and he pulled the glass away from his lips, “Something interesting better happen soon. I don’t even care what it is at this point, just something to keep me from going craz-”

Before Gumshoe could finish his thought, the door to the precinct slammed open, almost causing the detective to drop his glass as he fumbled it in his hooves. He turned his head towards the door to see an orange blur running up towards him. “Well?!” the blur demanded.

Gumshoe waited for his eyes to scan the blur properly. A few seconds later, the object focussed and an orange mare with blonde hair and a brown stetson hat came into focus. Gumshoe tilted his head at the mare. “Uh… can I help you?”

“Ah came in here last night!” the mare shouted. “Ah filed a missin’ pony report, an’ yer partner said she’d look into it!”

Gumshoe’s eyebrows raised, and he promptly placed the glass onto his table and sat up straight. “A missing pony report?” The mare nodded. “This is the first I’m hearing of it.” ‘I swear, that mare is so useless!’ “Can you fill me in on the details?”

The mare, clearly annoyed by the way she bared her teeth and growled, nodded and took a seat opposite to Gumshoe and Doyle. She raised an eyebrow as the sock puppet came into view, but ignored it and began her report. “It was last night, when ah-”

“OFFICER!” a loud, male voice shouted from the precinct’s doorway as a brown blur rushed inside and slammed its hooves onto the detective’s table. “PLEASE HELP! MY DIAMOND IS MISSING!”

‘Missing pony and potential theft? Celestia, thank you.’

Apple Bloom took her first step into Manehatten as she departed the train, carrying a load of bags with her and feeling a chill down her back as cold air brushed against her coat. “Why is it so cold here?”

“Because it’s Manehatten,” Diamond Tiara said as she stepped off of the train behind Apple Bloom, wearing a long, frilly pink coat with a red heart embroidered onto the back. On her head, where her tiara usually sat, was a wool hat with a bobble sitting on top… and her tiara resting over it. “We’re further north than Ponyville, so of course it’s colder up here. Didn’t you pay any attention in Geography class?”

“More than you did,” Apple Bloom said. “Ah bet ya only know that ‘cause ya’ve been here before.”

“So what? At least I came prepared.”

“Ya coulda warned me.”

“Could have, but that wouldn’t have been any fun,” Diamond said as she began to lead the way forward. “Let’s see, we need to find a map to get our bearings.”

“A map?” Apple Bloom asked. “Ah thought we were already in Manehatten.”

Diamond Tiara sighed and shook her head. “Oh, you silly, simply farm pony.” Diamond could feel the heated glare against the back of her head. She didn’t care in the least, and actually giggled and applauded herself for successfully riling Apple Bloom up. “Ponyville is small enough that you can navigate your way around without any maps. But Manehatten’s much bigger, and you’ll get lost if you don’t find out where you are and where you’re going beforehoof.”

Apple Bloom frowned as she followed as far from Diamond Tiara as she could into a nearby crowd of ponies. “Ah’m startin’ ta regret this, an’ not just ‘cause of you.”

“Oh, don’t be such a baby. I mean, for once.”

“Ah’m not a baby!” Apple Bloom shouted.

“Sure you are,” Diamond said with a smirk. “The way you’re always whining and crying over your lack of a Cutie Mark. You might as well still be in diapers.”

“At least ah don’t cry when I just get mud on mah hooves!” Apple Bloom retorted.

“I don’t cry!” Diamond shouted, looking over her shoulder and glaring at Apple Bloom.

“Yeah right! Ah haven’t even seen Fluttershy cry as much as you whenever there’s a ‘mean ol’ spider’ in the room!”

“You-” Diamond’s response was cut short as her vision went dark and she was met with sudden pain. The world shook around her and the voices of various ponies echoed. As the multiple images of grinning Apple Bloom’s converged into one, the sounds around Diamond Tiara started to become more clear.

“Have a nice trip?” Apple Bloom asked, unable to hide her laughter at Diamond Tiara’s unfortunate collision with a metal post. “Ya know what? Ah take it back. This trip ain’t so bad anymore.”

“Why you-” Diamond tried to confront Apple Bloom, but she found that suddenly pushing herself to her hooves after a nasty bump like that was not the smartest move. Her legs gave out beneath her, and she collapsed onto her rump again, the mocking laughter of Apple Bloom filling her ears and fuelling her growing anger. “Y-You’ll regret that!”

“Ya fell down on yer own, y’idiot,” Apple Bloom said as she watched Diamond Tiara climb back to her hooves once more, only much more slowly this time. Her attention was drawn to the big board behind Diamond Tiara and she gasped. “Hey, ain’t that what y’all were lookin’ for?”

Diamond turned around to look behind her and found that what she had walked into was indeed a map of Manehatten. Or rather, of the particular district that they were in. “This is it!” Diamond shouted as she jumped up-and-down, trying to get a more clear view of the map that was very high off the ground. “Darn it! I need a boost.”

Sweat dripped down Apple Bloom’s neck as Diamond Tiara turned to face her. “Uh… ah don’t suppose y’all packed a stool in here, right?”

“No,” Diamond said in a flat tone. “Come stand here. I need you to boost me up so I can see.”

“No way!” Apple Bloom said, shaking her head and crossing her forelegs. “Ain’t no way, no how, am ah lettin’ y’all use me like a steppin’ stool!”

“You are if you don’t want us to just be blindly walking around Manehatten, probably walking into danger as night falls!” Diamond told her. “Now stand here and let me stand on you already! Let’s face it, I already do that figuratively anyway.”

Apple Bloom growled and tried to find the right words akin to ‘go buck yourself’, but she simply sighed and nodded, walking hesitantly to Diamond’s side. “Fine. Jus’ find out where we need ta go an’ then get off.”

“Oh trust me,” Diamond said as she gagged at Apple Bloom’s messy coat, “I’m not looking forward to touching this filthy, manky fur of yours anymore than you are.” After building up her courage and her inner-strength, Diamond Tiara climbed on top of Apple Bloom’s back and stood on her hind leg so that she could see the map. “Now, where does that cousin of yours live?”

“T-The postcards s-said she lives in ‘Central’…” Apple Bloom’s legs shook and her teeth bit into her lower lip as she exerted every last ounce of energy that she had in order to keep herself from collapsing. “H-How much do y’all weigh?”

“Shut up!” Diamond shouted, raising a hind leg and stamping it down on Apple Bloom’s back.

“Hey!” Apple Bloom shouted. ‘She’s lucky ah’m down here… Hey, wait a minute.’ “C-Couldn’t we have jus’ asked somepony nearby ta help us out?” Silence followed Apple Bloom’s question for a length of time. “… Well?”

“S-Shut up!” Diamond Tiara shouted again, stamping her hoof three more times. “If I say this is the best way, then it’s the best way!” ‘H-How could this blank flank have outsmarted me?! Darn it, I won’t let you make a fool out of me!’ “Ah-ha! I found it!”

“G-Great! Now GET OFF ALREADY!” Apple Bloom shouted as she bucked Diamond Tiara off of her back.

Diamond screamed as she was sent soaring through the air, only stopping when she crashed suddenly on the hard marble floor of the train station. “That hurt!”

“It was meant to!” Apple Bloom shouted as she stretched her legs and arched her back. “Ah swear, the moment we find Babs, ah am through doin’ any more favours for ya.”

Diamond Tiara harrumphed as she rose to her hooves. “Better sooner than later. I’ll let this slide for now, simply because I am in desperate need of a bath after touching your filthy coat.”

“Then ya’d better lead the way,” Apple Bloom said in a low tone.

“It’s this way,” Diamond said as she led the way out of the station, Apple Bloom following behind her. “We’ll need to call a cab.”

“A what now?” Apple Bloom asked, giving Diamond Tiara a strange look as the pink filly whistled suddenly. She was surprised to see that nopony else found this strange. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a yellow and black chariot came into view before the two fillies. “Ooh. Y’all meant a taxi.”

“They’re called cabs here,” Diamond said as she opened the door. She saw Apple Bloom attempting to get in and pushed her aside, allowing herself to enter first. Apple Bloom entered after her with an annoyed grunt. “To Central,” Diamond said, pulling her purse out of her bag and offering some bits to the stallion. “And there’s a tip in it for you if you forget about us after you drop us off.”

The stallion raised his eyebrow as he observed the pile of bits in the filly’s hoof, but smiled and snatched them all the same. “Sure thing. Lemme guess, you two are elopin’ together?”

“NO!” both fillies shouted in unison, startling the stallion and sending cold sweat down his body as their glares burned into his skull.

“S-Sorry. My bad,” the stallion said as he turned back to face the road and started to walk. ‘Man, why do I get all the crazies? I swear, one of these days I’m gonna get outta this town and make it big somewhere. Maybe Los Pegasus. Dreams always come true there.’

“I swear, one of these days I’m gonna get outta this town and make it big a private investigator,” Gumshoe said to his partner as he poured some water into his glass. He decided not to have anymore alcohol whilst on duty. “Maybe Manehatten. I hear crimes and conspiracies are abundant there.”

“Man, what’re ya complainin’ about?” Doyle asked as he reached out towards Gumshoe’s chocolate bar, only to be slapped away by Gumshoe’s left forehoof. “We just got a big case, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, but still… Two missing fillies? I thought this ‘Diamond’ he referred to was an important treasure that had been stolen, but it’s just some kid that ran away, and honestly, how far could she have gone? And this ‘Apple Bloom’ is an Apple, right? I bet she’s just ran away to her family down south.”

“She has family up north too, y’know?” Doyle pointed out. “Distant family, but family nonetheless.”

“Even so, she couldn’t have gotten far. I’ll just send word the Royal Guard to look out for two fillies on the road, then-”

“Detective!” Filthy Rich shouted as she rushed into the precinct.

“You’re back,” Gumshoe noted as he sat up straight. “D’you get that picture I asked for?”

“Yes. I have it right here,” Filthy Rich said as he placed a small photograph of Diamond Tiara onto the detective’s desk. “It’s a school photograph from one year ago.”

Gumshoe nodded. “This’ll be fine. I’ll send this off to the printer’s to get some posters made. Chances are she hasn’t gotten far, so we should only need to spread them one town over in all directions.”

“That’… not all I found, though,” Filthy Rich said. “My wallet’s missing, too. It seems that Diamond took it, with the intention of catching a train out of here.”

Gumshoe leaned back in his seat and pressed a hoof to his chin. “Filly’s got some brains, but I wouldn’t worry about that. I mean, what kinda adult would let a child catch a train on their own.”

“Actually,” Filthy Rich said, “Just to be sure, I ran a check on the credit card inside my wallet, and found that it had been used earlier this morning.”

Gumshoe raised an eyebrow. “You managed to find that out already? That was fast.”

“There aren’t many ponies who use the new credit card system, so it is very efficient. Anyway, it will still take some time to narrow it down completely, but it seems to have been used from within a train.”

Gumshoe closed his eyes and placed his hooves together onto his desk. “I see… It seems a trip to the train station is in order here.” Gumshoe opened his eyes again and reached towards an empty glass on his desk. “But first, we must wait for Miss Applejack to bring us a photo of her missing pony. Until then, how about a drink? It looks like you could use one right about now.”

Filthy Rich shook his head. “Please, detective. I need to find Diamond Tiara. I need to know that she’s okay! She’s only a filly, she can’t survive out there all on her own!”

Apple Bloom bucked the stallion’s legs before he could retreat and held out her hoof. “Ah said, gimme back what y’all stole from us!”

The stallion shouted a few choice words that made Apple Bloom blush, before finally reaching into his coat’s pocket and pulling out a small tiara from within. Apple Bloom grabbed it and gave it back to Diamond Tiara, and the stallion quickly fled down the street.

“This changes nothing,” Apple Bloom said. “Ah still hate you. Ah jus’ don’t want ya makin’ this trip even more insufferable with yer constant whinin’. An’ fer Pete’s sake, stop wearin’ something so valuable in plain sight!”

“Well how else are ponies going to know that I’m superior to them in every way?” Diamond asked as she straightened out her tiara. “I guess it’s a good thing I brought you along after all[. Your brutish behaviour certainly worked to my advantage just now.”

“Who y’all callin’ brutish?” Apple Bloom shouted, bringing her face closer to Diamond’s and giving her a look that just dared her to repeat herself.

“I just thanked you, you idiot!”

“Mighty fine way ta thank somepony!”

“You should be grateful to get even that!”

An unknown rumbling stopped the argument between the two in an instant, and Diamond’s face turned red as she quickly turned around and feigned ignorance. “W-Well, it’s about time to eat something. Make yourself useful and keep your eyes peeled for a restaurant or fast-food place to eat at.”

“Y’mean like that?” Apple Bloom asked as she pointed a hoof at a building with a sign out in front that read ‘Dinner and a show’. The sign above it had a picture of what seemed to be ponies grabbing onto poles, and there was a large stallion in a black suit standing just outside. “Looks like there’s no line.”

“… I guess it’s fine,” Diamond said as she and Apple Bloom trotted across the road towards the restaurant. “Table for two,” Diamond said as she approached the stallion standing outside. “Or two tables for one, either’s fine.”

The stallion raised an eyebrow at the two fillies standing at his hooves. “Beat it kids. This ain’t a place for foals like you.”

“What? But it’s a restaurant, ain’t it?” Apple Bloom asked. “Please mister, we’re mighty hungry, an’ we don’t know where else ta-”

“I said beat it!” the stallion shouted in a threatening tone.

Diamond Tiara and Apple Bloom both jumped back, their legs shaking and their eyes wide with terror. “A-Alright!” Diamond shouted. “There’s no need to be so rude! Good luck making any money if you just turn all of your potential customers away!”

Apple Bloom blew a raspberry at the large pony before following Diamond Tiara down the street. “Lesse, somewhere ta eat… There’s a ‘sushi’ place over there… What’s sushi?”

“I don’t know,” Diamond said, “But daddy said that’s a restaurant for griffons only, and that ponies can’t eat sushi. It’s… bad for them, or something.”

“Oh, well that’s not fair,” Apple Bloom said with a frown. “Now that ah think about it, ah think ah recall overhearin’ Spike sayin’ somethin’ ‘bout sushi tastin’ real good. Ah guess it’s okay fer dragons ta eat it, too?”

“How would I know? Do I look like an… animal-knowing pony?”

“Ya look like an idiot,” Apple Bloom muttered.

“What?!” Diamond shouted. “You’re the idiot!”

“Oh, nice comeback,” Apple Bloom replied in a sarcastic tone, slowly clapping her forehooves together once. “Come up with that all on yer own, or did y’all need help from Silver Spoon fer that one?”

Diamond Tiara gritted her teeth together, barely able to focus on her surroundings anymore. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear that, on account of you not talking right!” Diamond said. “Try speaking like a normal pony for once. It’s ‘for’, not ‘fur’! Fur is what we have over our skin, you moron!”

“Ah can’t help the way ah speak! It’s how ah was raised, an’ there ain’t nothin’ wrong with it!”

“Gah! I swear, I’d have better luck trying to talk that tomboy friend of yours into visiting the spa than understanding half the things you’re trying to say!”

“At least ah don’t act all whiny an’ pathetic jus’ ta get mah way! Seriously, it’s embarrassin’ jus’ ta watch ya.”

“You know-” Diamond Tiara stopped as the sight of a restaurant came into view. It was a small one, and didn’t look particularly clean, but it was food nonetheless, and there weren’t many people there at that point in time. “Finally, somewhere to eat. Count yourself lucky, blank flank.”

‘Lucky mah hoof,’ Apple Bloom thought to herself. ‘Ah bet she jus’ ran outta things ta argue ‘bout an’ doesn’t wanna admit that she lost.’

The two entered the restaurant together and were greeted by a cheerful pony in a white chef’s hat standing behind a counter. “Good afternoon!” he said as the two approached the counter. He raised an eyebrow at the two fillies. “My, shouldn’t the two of you be in school today?”

Apple Bloom bit her lip and tried to think up an excuse. “Um… Teacher trainin’ day, today?”

The chef stared at her with a blank look on his face, before smiling and nodding. “I see. So the two of you decided to spend your day off on a wonderful date togeth-”

“NO,” the two fillies said together in unison. At the same time, a fire erupted from the stove behind the chef.

“Mamma mia!” the chef shouted as he rushed to extinguish the fire. “How did this even happen?! The stove was turned off!”

“Look, just get us two plates of whatever’s the most delicious thing you’re serving,” Diamond said as she pulled out her father’s credit card. “And charge it to this.”

The chef, now calmed down after extinguishing the sudden mysterious fire, turned to Diamond Tiara with a smile. “Ah, a rich customer of exquisite tastes, I take it? Very well, two plates of Luigi’s finest spaghetti coming right up! But unfortunately, I am not equipped to scan these new ‘credit cards’.”

“… Fine then. Here.” Diamond pulled out a wad of paper money from her bag. “How much?”

“… F-Fifty bits,” the chef said, eyes wide at the sheer amount of money that lay before him.

“Here,” Diamond said as she handed over one of the notes to the chef.

“T-Thank you. I-I’ll just go and prepare your food right now…”

Five minutes passed in complete silence as the two fillies tried as best as they could to avoid speaking, or even interacting, with one another until they were finished eating.

“Apologies for the wait,” the chef said as he laid the two plates of spaghetti before them. “Enjoy your meals,” he added with a smile before he moved back into the kitchen. ‘Can I do it?’ The chef thought to himself as he stood over two empty glasses sat on the counter. ‘That filly was loaded! Just a hint of knock-out powder, and she won’t even know what hit her! Nopony else is in the store right now… I could pay off all my loans…’

With a gulp, the chef nodded his head. ‘I’ll do it.’

As they were eating their meals, the chef returned from his kitchen and placed two glasses of lemonade before the fillies. “These are on the house,” he told them. “For being the one thousandth and one thousand-and-first customers to my store.”

“Oh, thank you,” Apple Bloom said with a smile. She was about to reach for the drink placed before her, but decided that she should probably save it. After all, her spaghetti was very hot.

Diamond Tiara jabbed her fork into her own spaghetti and brought it up to her mouth. What she hadn’t realised, however, was that a stray strand from Apple Bloom’s own plate had somehow been tangled up among her own. The two fillies followed the strands of spaghetti in their mouth, but stopped as they realised they were chewing on the same piece.

Their faces mere inches apart, their eyes wide with shock and their cheeks red with embarrassment, there was only one thing that Diamond Tiara could think to do.

The chef gasped as Diamond’s hoof met Apple Bloom’s face, pushing the filly backwards off of her chair and leaving a nasty mark. “W-What do you think you’re doing, blank flank?!”

“OW! That’s mah line!” Apple Bloom shouted as she rose to her hooves and grabbed her plate, hurling what little spaghetti remained on it into Diamond’s face. “Since ya like takin’ other ponies’ food so much, ya can have what’s left of mine,” she said as she turned to leave the store.

“You…” Diamond said as her hooves trembled and tears began to spill from her eyes. Her brows furrowed and her teeth ground together. “You’ll pay for that!” Diamond Tiara shouted as she chased Apple Bloom out of the store.

The chef simply stood gaping at the mess that remained behind, and amazed at the fight that had just broken out between the two innocent-looking fillies. “… Mamma mia… I need a drink…” The chef absentmindedly grabbed a nearby glass of lemonade sitting at the counter and gulped the whole thing down. “… Oh, wait…” The chef saw the world turning dark as his legs gave out underneath him.

It was the end of the school day. Babs Seed, flanked by her two friends Flitterheart and Snowcatcher, exited the school building in a hurry, stretching her legs and taking a deep breath of the not-so-fresh Manehatten air.

“Man, the weekend could not have come any sooner!” Babs said as she reached towards her chest and unfastened the top button on her dark-blue uniform, breathing a sigh of relief at the comfort it provided.

“I know what you mean,” Flitterheart said. “Those teachers just drone on and on and on and on!”

Snowcatcher nodded. “Well then, I guess we’ll see each other later tonight?”

“You betcha!” Babs said with a smile. “Just come ‘round mine whenever. My folks know who ya are by now.”

“Cool! I’ll make sure to bring that game you wanted to try,” Flitterheart said as she and Snowcatcher turned to walk in a different direction to Babs. “Later!”

“See ya!” Babs shouted back as she waved goodbye to her friends. “Right, I’ve got some time. Guess I’ll stop by the arcade an’-” Babs took her first step outside of the school gates, and stopped as she saw a familiar yellow Earth Pony with a red mane standing outside, staring directly at her. “A-”

“BABS!” Apple Bloom shouted as she spread her forelegs and wrapped them around her cousin. “Ah can’t believe it’s really you! Ah thought fer sure somethin’ else would go wrong, but ye’re right here!”

“A-Apple Bloom!” Babs shouted as she managed to shake the excited and crying filly off of her. As she did so, another familiar face came into view. “Diamond Tiara?” A familiar face that was covered in something red. “A-Are you okay?! You’re bleeding!”

“What?” Diamond asked, placing a hoof to her face, only to be reminded of the sticky sauce covering her coat. “Oh, this. It’s just sauce.”

“S-Sauce?” Babs asked. “Why’re you… What’re you… M-Mind fillin’ me in, cuz?”

“No time!” Apple Bloom said. “It’s a long story, and ah swear we’ll explain it all later, but fer now, we really need a place ta hide!” A loud yawn escaped Apple Bloom’s mouth and she rubbed her eye with a hoof. “An’ sleep…”

Babs still had no idea what was going on, but the urgency in her cousin’s voice was all that she needed to know, for now. “O-Of course. I’ll asked ma parents ta-”

“No,” Diamond said. “We need you to hide us without telling anypony. That includes your parents.”

“What?!” Babs asked. “I-I can’t- T-They’re my parents, I-”

“Please, Babs?” Apple Bloom asked, eyes growing wide and lower lip quivering. “Ah’ll explain everythin’ later, honest, but we really, really need yer help. Please?”

“A-Apple Bloom…” Babs gulped and bit her tongue. “A-Alright… I’ll help ya…”

“Thank you!” Apple Bloom shouted, crushing her cousin in a hug one more time.

Diamond Tiara simply rolled her eyes. “What was that about me being pathetic?”

Author's Notes:

Apologies for the brief delay. I was having fun at Alcon 2013 from the 5th to the 8th (and spent the 9th catching up on what I had missed on the internet).

Anywhom, now that I'm back and all caught up, expect more frequent updates (... hopefully ^_^;;) :3