It was a perfect Saturday morning in the peaceful town of Ponyville, in the land of Equesrtia. The sun was high in the sky and beaming down on everypony. There was not a cloud in the sky thanks to the dilligent pegasi. Mares and colts alike were either relaxing in their homes, or busy along Mane Street. The ponies were having a farmer's market and were as busy as ever. Produce from Sweet Apple Acres was selling fast, as well as the flowers from a certain triplets garden. Yes, it was a normal day for most ponies, but this story isn't about most ponies. This story is about a certain special pony. A pony who with a job of delivering mail to every pony Ponyville. A grey pegasus with blond hair, who had peculiar eyes but never let it get in the way. This story is about a mare named Derpy Hooves, and her journey there and back again.

~

Derpy Hooves had just woken up. It was the same time she woke up every morning, 7:29, which left her a minute to take in the scenery before having to go through her routine.

"Wow, its a really pretty day today!" Derpy said still a little groggy from just waking up.

"Well! *yawn* time to get ready."

Derpy flew over to the lake to wash up, as according to her morning schedule. She took a quick bath and washed her mouth out and combed her mane. The ducks and frogs and other creatures didn't mind sharing the water with Derpy and had grown rather fond of her visits.She then flew back to Cloudsdale which was now busy with other pegasi waking up to greet the morning and gathered her things and recited the Equestrian Postal Service Creed.

"Neither snow nor rain nor... um...heat... nor... aw!" Derpy looked for the piece of paper she kept the creed on in her mail bag.

" Where is it where is it, oh! Here it is! Ahem... Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from their swift completion of their appointed rounds. done!"

With that, Derpy dived down from the clouds feeling the wind wisk through her mane. She waved to Rainbow Dash who was passing by in a hurry as usual. From her bird's eye view, Derpy could see all of Ponyville, and all the ponies who were busy as bees, even on a Saturday. Normally Derpy would fly directly to the post office but seeing all the action she felt inclined to take a stroll down Mane street.

"Well I guess it can't hurt to skip one step in my schedule." Derpy said reassuring herself.

Derpy swooped down and landed near the edge of Mane Street. She saw the Apple family selling fruits and vegetables, and little Apple Bloom, trying to get an auctioneer cutie mark by the sound of it. Rarity was selling her dresses and taking appointments for alterations. Fluttershy was selling her pets or at least trying to. She seemed very anxious about the large crowd of ponies. The Cakes were selling there baked goods at discount prices, and Pinkie Pie was working hard to bring in customers with her improvised songs about cake. Pinkie bounced over to Derpy with a giant grin on her face.

"Happy Birthday Derpy!" Pinkie said with glee.

"But my birthday isn't..."

"Until January 21st? I know that silly!"

Pinkie rubbed Derpy's mane and then bounced on over to other passerby, wishing them happy birthdays and singing them jingles. Twilight Sparkle was walking by checking her to do list. When she noticed Derpy she walked with her for a while. They chatted about the happenings in Ponyville, Lyra and Bon Bon's fight, the latest shenanigans of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and just what the Doctor was up to.

" Are you sure you don't want me to look for a spell for your eyes?"

" Yes Twilight, I can see perfectly fine."

" I can see if Zekora has any herbs..."

" No,no I can manage." Derpy said as she narrowly avoided bumping into the town's statue.

" Who is that anyway?"

" Oh you don't know! " Twilight said excitedly.

"Well she is a famous earth pony from the pre-Celestian era who..."

"Ooh, I should probably get going Twilight don't want to be late bye!"

"Oh okay, bye!" Twilight said dissapointed.

Derpy knew it was rude to just fly away in the middle of sompony's story, but she really didn't want to be late again, and you know how Twilight gets when she's telling a story.
Derpy flew through the doors of the post office at exactly 8:30. Which unless the clocks have changed, was exactly on schedule. Her boss still said she was late though, he says its for pep talk, and to improve employee punctuality. It did give our heroine quite a fright though. Speaking of her, she gathered all her mail in her mail bag, went through the strenuous rigorous decision of hat or no hat today,saluted her coworkers and said goodbye to her boss.

" Remember Derpy, Carpe Diem!"

" Carpe Diem boss!" Derpy wasn't sure what it meant but it must mean something along the lines of, 'goodbye, and have a good day!'

Then she was off... but first she stopped by the Cakes again to grab a banana nut muffin and then she was off!

" Yeah the hat looks pretty cool, but it might slow me down, aerodynamically speaking, and what if I dropped it! I would have to fly down and get it again and lose time on my delivery speed, and I might lose a letter! Besides, I like the wind in my mane." Derpy said to herself and her muffin. The hat or no hat decision wasn't just a choice of fashion, it was a choice of science and logic. I could explain the complexities of the hat or no hat decision, but we should be getting along with our story. It's about to get interesting. As Derpy finished her mufffin she planned out her route.

"Well, If I go to Sweet Apple Acres first, I can swoop back around and deliver to Fluttershy's cottage, and then I can..."

All of the sudden a black portal appeared in front of her out of nowhere! Derpy tried to steer away from it but it was too close and she was going too fast! Before Derpy knew it she was in the hole and falling! It was pitch black and silent as the grave. Derpy felt her heart pounding and she couldn't concentrate on flying and she crashed to the floor. Derpy hit the floor hard but she was uninjured. Derpy sat in silence for what felt like hours, she had never felt so alone, so trapped, so helpless. A light came out of nowhere and shined down on Derpy blinding her. She covered her eyes, and looked to see if she could tell where she was, but everything else was still black. Then she head a sound... clip, clop, clip, clop... a familiar sound of a pony coming from a distance... clip, clop, clip, clop The faint sounds grew louder and louder... clip, clop, CLIP, CLOP...
" Hello Derpy."

The sound of the voice made Derpy jump. It was a mare's voice, and she didn't sound very nice.

" Who are you? Were am I? How do you know my name?" Derpy said trying to sound brave.

" Oh, you know who I am Derpy Hooves. You know me as well as you know yourself. In fact everyone you know knows me as well."

"What...what do you mean?"

The voice chuckled creepishly and said, "Well my dear, let me show you. Then you'll understand, then again..."
The voice walked into the light and became a body. "Maybe you won't."

Derpy couldn't believe her eyes. Maybe Twilight was right, because standing in front of her was...well... herself.

"Wha...what...ha...how?"

The mare threw back her head in laughter and said, "Perplexing is it not?I am almost like you in everyway. I would be your mirror, if not for two of my attributes. Notice my voice is not like yours. I don't possess your stupid unintelligent masculine voice."

Derpy was deeply hurt at the insult. No one had ever insulted her voice before. Had they?

"The other thing that makes us different, is I have normal eyes, unlike you you freak. Your unnatural eyes have made you the laughing stock of Ponyville since you were a filly, but your to idiotic to know that aren't you?"

At this comment Derpy was crushed. Why would somone say such a mean thing to anypony?

"But... but I was born that way..."

"You were born defective!"

" No I wasn't! I can see just as good as anypony!"

"Don't you mean just as well? I'm only speaking the truth, and don't be so offended. I'm not the first to point out your obvious flaw."

The thought floated around in Derpy's mind . It spoke into hear ears and poured malice into her heart. Visions of her friends laughing in amusement at Derpy raced through her mind. Had they been making fun of her the whole time? Had the relationships she had built been solely out of amusement?

"Oh Derpy, you've been nothing but a burden and an embarresment to your so called friends.How could you not see it before? They don't love you, they just feel bad for you because of your disadvantage."

" That's not true! My friends love me and care for me, and you know nothing about them! Your not me, I am me, Derpy Hooves! Your just a mean old mare with no heart!"

Derpy was suprised that such forceful words had come out of her mouth. She hadn't meant to be so mean, but that mare had no right to speak to her that way. So she spoke her mind. The Derpy doppleganger just stared at her coldly for a moment and then said,

" Your not as far off as you think. "

" What do you..."

" Don't interrupt me! Let me tell you who I am and why you are here. I am not you, that is correct, but I am your opposite. For every right there is a wrong, every white a black and every light darkness. I am your wrong, your black and your darkness. You could say I'm the Anti-Derpy. I can't tell you much about where I came from, but let me just tell you its nowhere you've ever been, and nowhere you'll ever go.There are beings out of your comprehension that have more power than either of your princesses, and their word is law. No one questions, no one suggests, and no one rebels. Despite this they can be greatly influenced by outside forces, and they have been, which is why I am here."

Derpy was about to speak, but she thought her question was about to be answered.

" These forces have decided that you can no longer coexist with the other ponies and you must be eradicated. You must be replaced with me.No one would miss you anyways. I'm sure they would be glad you..."

" SHUT UP!" Derpy shouted as she pushed the mare to the ground. Derpy was as startled as the mare was. Ponies don't usually act violently, which is why Derpy flew away into the darkness, to escape from the wicked mare. She couldn't she were she was flying, but she didn't care. As long as it was away from her. The only sound Derpy could hear was the sound of her own breathing. Then out of seemingly nowhere, and as sudden as lightning, the blinding light and the mare appeared. The mare looked livid. She stood on her hind legs and raised her arms to catch Derpy. Derpy couldn't stop and just as she was about to be caught, the light dissapeared.
~
Derpy woke up late. She raised her tired head and looked around at what was supposed Cloudsdale. It was not Cloudsdale, and it certainly was not Ponyville, and there was no doubt in her mind that she wasn't even in Equestria. She was sitting on a wide plush chair, in a large room with bookshelves and posters and miscellanous items scattered around it. Derpy rubbed her eyes and tried to remember what had happened. As hard as she tried to remember, she couldn't remember what happened after the light vanished. Then Derpy heard yelling that sounded awfully close. She looked around for the source and was terrified to see about 20 creatures all huddled around an illuminating mirror. They were garbed in simple cloths of various colors, and they stood on their hind legs and had claws on their front legs. Not like a dragons, instead their claws were short and pink. They were all hairless except for their manes, and some had beards. What Derpy noticed the most was the ferocity of their shouting, they were all extremely mad about something.

" What the fuck man? Why did they change her voice? What was wrong with it in the first place?" said a tall creature.

" Apparently it was because a bunch of easily offended parents and bronies and possibly trolls complained about her appearance." said a thin creature.

" I don't see how this accomplishes anything, now it just looks like their making fun of blondes." said a short creature.

" I don't see what the big deal is." said a creature with glasses.

The tall creature turned around and said,
" What do you mean you don't know what the big deal is? You just don't understand how monumentally important this was to all of us. Derpy speaking was like... like... like hearing the voice of God! Okay maybe not like that, but still, it showed that bronies made a difference! It showed that the makers of the show don't think were a bunch of weirdos! That is why the voice changing is so infuriating!"

Derpy thought the creatures must be crazy. What the hay were they talking about? How do they know her name? and what is a fuck? Derpy thought these creatures must be her jailors, bad ones at that. What kind of jailor puts a prisoner in such an easily escapeable cell, and then leaves the prisoner unguarded? Derpy decided escape was more important than having her questions answered and looked around the room for an escape. 'The door might creek which would alert the guards, and it may be locked.' Derpy thought to herself. 'What else... oh! An open window! Thats perfect, now I just have to get out without alerting the guards.' Derpy placed on hoof on the carpet and waited for a response. None of them turned around. She placed the other three hooves down as quiet as a mouse, and as slow as molasses. Not that anyone eats molasses anyways. She prepared to escape by spreading her wings out, and as she did she knocked over all the drinks on the table in front of the chair. Derpy looked at the jailors as they turned around to capture their prisoner, but for some reason instead of being angry, they seemed rather... overjoyed to say the least. Some jumped up and down and squealed and some just stared and didn't say anything.

Derpy just sighed.

~ Yah, yah, It's basically chapter 1 but in different wording. Let me explain it to you sirs and madams. This story was originally made to be a joke story that was a one chapter thing. As I started writing it I got more and more interested in the story so I decided to make it full length. How long? Somewhere in between left and right, probably. I read chapter 1 a couple of times and didn't like all the little things missing from it, and I felt I could do better. so I redid the chapter, and in doing that it caused chapter 2 to be pushed back. Technically, this chapter isn't even done, but I have to go to bed and I want to get this uploaded so I can work on 1-up (search it) with X528pa. So i'm sorry to the ponies tracking this for the setback. Chapter 2 will come soon, along with a new chapter of 1-up hopefully. and Dats bout itdick.~