“WATCH OUT!”

Rainbow Dash leapt to the side at the last moment as Twilight careened down from the sky to plough a lovely, long furrow in the soft dirt, ending up with her head buried under a pile of pushed-up turf, her lavender rump waving in the air and her wings flailing wildly as she tried to pull herself upright again.

“Seriously, Twi’,” Dash shook her head in despair as she helped the alicorn extricate herself from her latest crash landing. “How can someone as smart as you be so terrible at this? You must have read books on flying, right? You know the theory.”

“Theory and reality are two very different things, Rainbow,” Twilight sighed as she sat on her haunches, shaking her head a little to try and rid herself of the ringing in her ears from her fourth abortive attempt at landing that morning alone. “I don’t think this is ever going to come naturally to me. I still think and react like a unicorn, even if I have these now,” she flapped her grass and twig coated wings and hung her head.

“Aw, cheer up Twilight!” Scootaloo was as relentlessly, indefatigably, irritatingly cheerful as ever despite her own inability to get into the air. Rather than the flight exercises she was torturing Twilight with, Rainbow was working the pegasus filly through a series of exercises designed to strengthen her wing muscles, making sure that she had every possible advantage before they tried to get her into the air. “Maybe you’d just be better off on a scooter like me?” The filly continued. “Have to be a really big one, though. Maybe you’d be better off with a seat on it rather than standing? I bet with wings as big as yours you’d go fast enough to leave almost anyone in your dust. Anyone apart from Rainbow, of course.”

“Heh. Damn right, squirt.” Rainbow fondly tousled Scootaloo’s mane before turning to the small group of ponies that had gathered to watch the training session. Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie and Fluttershy were sat on a large checked blanket, ostensibly having a picnic that JUST so happened to be right next to the field where the training session was going on. Entirely a coincidence… Yeah, and she was Discord’s half cousin.

Rainbow was sure that the last thing Twilight needed was an audience when she was nervous enough in the air as it was but the alicorn had insisted that her friends be allowed to stay, that they helped encourage her rather than distract her.

“So Trixie and Berry Punch, huh?” Applejack shook her head as she munched thoughtfully on a fritter. “Who woulda thunk it?”

“I know! Isn’t it simply deliciously scandalous?” Rarity replied as she sipped at a mug of tea held neatly with her magic, “I wonder if Trixie has truly learned her lesson this time after that nonsense with the Alicorn Amulet?”

“The great and apologetic Trixie? Ah ain’t holdin’ mah breath.” Applejack muttered as she finished her treat and laid back on the blanket. “Still, Berry should keep her in line. That mare ain’t half the lush folks think she is.”

“Oh yeah! Berry’s sharp as a tack!” Pinkie agreed. “One time I accidentally gave her the wrong change when she bought muffins; they were blueberry apple surprise, or was it apple blueberry surprise? Or Appleberry surprise? No, wait, couldn’t have been, I just made that up!”

“Pinkie…” Applejack sighed.

“Oh right! So I gave her the wrong change by mistake and even though she looked kinda—“ Pinkie rolled her eyes in circles and swayed from side to side. “She spotted the mistake RIGHT away and told me I’d got it wrong and she was rightrightright!” She briefly looked forlorn, “I hate it when I get it wrong. I just had to give her another muffin free of charge to say sorry!”

Fluttershy promptly reached over and gave Pinkie a hug that soon had the bouncy pink pony giggling happily all over again. Normality restored, Applejack turned her attention back to the three fliers, watching as Rainbow ran both Twilight and Scootaloo through a set of cool-down stretches after the exercise.

“Hey Twilight!” she called. “You heard anythin’ from the Princess lately?”

Twilight paused in the middle of picking the last few blades of grass from her mane, “Hmm? Oh, no Applejack. Not recently, anyway. Everything seems nice and quiet for once. Oh no, I’ve jinxed it now! Quickly somepony, knock on wood for me! I promise I didn’t mean it!”

“Ah’m sure it’s fine, Twi’,” Applejack assured her friend before Twilight could work herself up into one of her now-legendary frenzies, “ah was just wondering if Celestia had said anythin’ about Princess Luna. Y’know, just makin’ sure everything’s right with her and all. Must be weird for her, right? Just back from her banishment and now suddenly she’s got another kinda-sister to deal with? Wonder if she’s dealin’ with it okay.”

“I’m sure Princess Luna is just fine, darling.” Rarity assured the farm-mare. “Celestia won’t let the whole Nightmare Moon thing happen again; I’m sure she’ll give her sister all the support she could want.” She paused, a little frown furrowing her brow, “Not that I intend to belittle your concern for our friend, the Princess, I must say I think this is the first time I’ve heard you ask after her. Is something on your mind, Applejack?”

“Huh! Oh… Nothing, er… Nothin’ at all. Just wonderin’. Must be rough for her, comin’ back after so long and then havin’ some people still treat her like she’s gonna snap and turn into Nightmare Moon at the drop o’a bit. That and bein’ alone for so long. Ya gotta wonder what that might do to the inside of a pony’s head, right? Who knows what sort of crazy notions might take root in there!”

“Just what kind of crazy notions are we talking about here?” Rainbow butted in. “Are we talking about declaring a goldfish the new mayor of Ponyville type crazy or downing a whole case of Sweet Apple Acres Reserve in one sitting crazy?”

Applejack fidgeted as all eyes turned to her, digging a hoof into the corner of the blanket and twisting it about as she tried to think of a way to dig herself out of the hole she’d abruptly found herself in. “Well, ah, that is… Alright, look, she didn’t exactly swear me t’secrecy but ah doubt she’s gonna want it getting’ about either so y’all gotta Pinkie Promise right here and now that what ah say don’t leave your lips. You too, Scootaloo. Not a word t’Bloom, Sweetie Belle or anyone.”

“Aw ponyfeathers…” Scootaloo grumbled, hope briefly rising that Applejack had forgotten she was there.

“Mind your language, young lady!” To everyone’s surprise it was Fluttershy admonishing the young pegasus rather than Rarity. She coughed and ducked her head down, “I mean, uhm, if that’s okay with you. That’s just really a very rude word for someone so young to be using.”

“Riiiiiight,” Rainbow drawled, “whatever. Moving on. Pinkie promise, yaddayadda, cupcake in my flies, what’s going on, Applejack?”

“Rainbow Miriam Dash!” Pinkie exclaimed, “That’s not how you do a Pinkie Promise and you know it! Now do it right, like this! Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye! Now you!” She stared at Rainbow Dash with all the intensity of Spike eyeing up a particularly shiny gem.

The multicoloured pegasus sighed and began the motions, “Cross my heart, hope—“

“That’s not it!” Pinkie yelled again, “That’s not your heart! That’s more like… Cross my lung and hope to die. That doesn’t even make sense!”

“Geeze! Alright, fine! How about here?”

“Mmmm… Lil more to the left.”

“Here?”

“Down a bit.”

“HERE?” Dash growled, jabbing her hoof against her chest.

“That’s it! Right there! Okay, now do it right this time!”

“Uh, Pinkie? Can we maybe just take it as read that everyone knows the right way to make a Pinkie Promise?” Twilight ventured, “I mean, does it need to be quite so accurate?”

“Well no, not really,” Pinkie admitted with a bright and cheery smile, “I was just making a point to Miss Rainbow Grumpypants Dash here!”

Five hooves met five faces as five loud, exasperated groans filled the air, followed quickly by a yelp of, “Always the eye! Ow!” Six Pinkie Promises were hastily and correctly given and all eyes turned to Applejack who had been so distracted by Pinkie’s sudden tirade that the thought of fleeing while everyone was looking elsewhere had never entered her mind.

“Uh… Ah think Luna might have a thing for Big McIntosh.” She couldn’t think of any other way to say it so she just came right out with it.

There was a moment of silence, broken by a loud, shrill squeal of delight as Rarity leapt forward and clasped Applejack’s face between her hooves, “Tell me EVERYTHING. What did she say? How did she say it? Does Mac know yet? When will the wedding be? Did the Princess seem excited? Does Granny Smith know yet? You must tell us EVERY. LITTLE. DETAIL.”

Applejack attempted to say something, but all she could do was stick her tongue out and mumble something incoherent. Pinkie, meanwhile, was all but vibrating in place at the news, “This is going to be the most amazing tremendously fabulosoriffic party ever! A “Princess Luna thinks you’re hot, she wants your big red—“

“PINKIE!” Fluttershy clamped her wing down over the party pony’s muzzle and jerked her head towards Scootaloo, who was just looking confused by all the talk, “Ixnay the otplay,” she hissed, “there are young ears present!”

“Oh, uhm, sorry.” Pinkie apologised to Scootaloo, “You should probably forget what I just said there, for a few years anyway.”

“And no party, dangit!” Applejack finally managed to force Rarity’s hooves away from her face, “Ah told ya that Mac doesn’t know! Luna ain’t spoke to him yet so we ain’t gonna spoil it by havin’ one of you blurt it out! Y’all done made a Pinkie Promise and ah’m gonna hold ya to it.”

Twilight, meanwhile, was looking rather stunned by this sudden bit of news. “Princess Luna and… Big McIntosh? The Princess is taking a….” She swayed a little in place as the full implications of this began to sink in, “But that means that if Luna can then Celestia could and that means that we could, I mean I could, she could… If Luna can go on dates then that means I can go on dates which means Celestia can… Ineedtogowritealetternow.” Without another word, Twilight turned and galloped full speed back into town, leaving the other girls staring at the cloud of dust and grass she left in her wake.

“Uh… Right then,” Dash deadpanned, “I guess training’s over for the day, squirt. Same time tomorrow?”

“Essence from the flowers of the Everfree. You will need no more drops than three.” Zecora advised Mac as she passed him the small green bottle, “Apply it once each morning and night and it will soon have you set right.”

“Thank ya, Miss Zecora.” Mac rumbled as he accepted the medicine and slipped it into his saddlebags. His left shoulder had been aching something fierce since that morning when a loose plank in the barn had fallen and whacked him good and proper, catching him completely by surprise. It wasn’t like him to be caught napping, “Y’all have a good day.”

“Thank you for your custom, Mac. I hope to your normal self you soon will be back.” The zebra gave him a friendly smile and wink before turning her attention to her next customer, “Ah, Miss Lyra Heartstrings. Now what is this that you bring? More proof of humans, I do not doubt. Perhaps this time you will not leave with a pout.”

Mac resisted the urge to shake his head as he clopped sedately down the main street. Lyra and her strange obsession. No matter how many times one of her “finds” in the forest turned out to be something entirely mundane she kept trying. How BonBon put up with her was a source of curiosity to more than just this stallion.

He turned his attention back to his surroundings just in time to give a startled whinny as Twilight all but crashed straight into him, the alicorn only seeing him at the last moment as her wings flared out and promptly tangled about her own hooves, sending her staggering into him with a thump against his withers.

“Miss Twilight?” he asked. “Y’all right?” Hah! Zecora wasn’t the only one that could come up with rhymes.

“I, uh, I’m fine. I’m really sorry about-- Oh! Big Mac! I, er, that is, you have a good night with… I mean a good day with… You have a nice day! I need to Princess a letter about plots--I mean I need to plot a Princess about letters--I mean… Oh bother! I need to go! Bye!”

Well, even by Twilight’s standards it was rare to see her so flustered, the alicorn galloping off without a backward glance. What was that about plots? Maybe the nerdy librarian had finally found herself a stallion? He supposed the Princess would want to know all about that, Twilight being her pupil and all.

He resumed his lazy walk through town, rather enjoying having an afternoon to himself where all his chores were done and he could tend to a few light errands without needing to run back to the farm. In fact he was in such a good mood he decided it couldn’t hurt to pop into Sugarcube Corner and treat himself to something a little tasty.

Granny Smith and AJ did make amazing food, but a stallion can’t live on just apples alone and Mac did have a fondness for Pinkie’s amazing cupcakes, not that he’d ever admit it to the rest of the family in case they think he was cheating on the Apple family legacy or somesuch. Applejack did sometimes get her mane in a bunch about the oddest things so it was easier to keep such little indiscretions quiet.

Pushing the door open, he took a moment to breathe in the sweet, cinnamon and frosting scented air of the bakery. Oh Celestia, he was sure he could feel his flanks expanding just from the amount of sugar in the air.

“Hiya Big Mac!” Pinkie’s voice greeted him as he clopped up to the counter, “I’ll be right… Waaaaait a sec. BIG MAC!” Pinkie suddenly sprang up from the floor like someone had zapped her with a bolt of magic, her entire body rigid and quivering as she pushed her nose right up against his. She opened her mouth, then promptly shut it again, then opened again, and shut, a look of utter frustration on her face.

“Uh…. Everythin’ alright, Pinkie?” Mac finally ventured after long, uncomfortable moments of Pinkie’s fish impression and her increasingly frustrated mien.

“Yeeeeennnnnoooosssssppppeeee?” The pink pony hissed from between clenched teeth, her quivering now escalating into a somewhat worrying vibration that had Mac taking slow, wary steps back and away from the counter in case the mare suddenly exploded. "Theressomethingiwannadobuticantdoanditsworsebecauseyourehereandicanteventalktoyouboutitanditsdrivingmenutsandithinkimightexplodeandohrightbyethen!”

Mac had seen and heard enough. He backed right out the door before Pinkie had even had time to draw another breath. Nope! Nooooope. He was after a nice, quiet day and insane vibrating mares were so not on the list of things he wanted to be dealing with right now. He’d just go to BonBon’s instead and get some chocolate from them, hopefully BonBon and… Wait. Lyra was speaking to Zecora. That meant as soon as she was done she’d likely go and wail and rail at BonBon about how “they” were suppressing knowledge of humans and he didn’t want to get dragged into that sort of conversation either! Well ponyfeathers. No treat for him today.

“Hey, Big Mac!” A familiar voice called from overhead. Oh no. NoNoNOPE. He couldn’t deal with any more mares being strange today. He flattened his ears down and kept on walking, trying to pretend like he hadn’t heard the voice calling to him. “I said hey! Ya deaf or something?” An acorn bounced off the back of his head and he uttered a long, mournful sigh.

“Ms Dash,” he rumbled as he turned around to face the blue pegasus, sprawled out on a cloud overheard. “Help ya?”

“Me?” Dash replied in a sweet, innocent voice, “Oh no, I’m just awesome as always. How’s it going with you? Had any weird dreams lately, maybe?”

Mac blinked. Okay, there had to be something in the water, in the air maybe. What was with the mares in this town? “Mmmnope.”

“Really? Nothing you feel like maybe sharing with the rest of us?” She even gave him a big, exaggerated wink. Definitely something in the air. He’d better get out of town quickly before he started acting as insane as the rest of them. If it wasn’t want it/need it spells it was love poisons or insane personifications of chaos making him act like Winona. Sometimes he wondered if maybe he’d be better off just moving to the Gates of Tartarus. Might be quieter there. So, rather than rising to the bait (not that he had the slightest clue what she was going on about; he hardly ever remembered his dreams), Mac just stared at Rainbow in silence. The pegasus stared right back. Mac flicked his ear, Rainbow flicked her ear. He shifted his weight back, she shifted forward.

This went on till she sighed out loud and stuck her tongue out at him. “Oh fine. You’re no fun,” she grumbled, “I’m outta here.” With that she took to the air with a flick of her multicoloured tail, leaving nothing but a rainbow streak in her wake. Nope. He definitely wasn’t playing with any more crazy mares today. He was going to go back to the farm where it was safe and quiet and the only thing he had to worry about was the Crusaders and their latest insane scheme.

Thankfully, and much to his relief, nothing more stood between him and the safety of his home and it was with a soft sigh that he closed the door of the house behind him and dropped his saddlebags to the floor. He’d only taken two steps away to go and fetch himself a drink when a knock at the door brought him to a halt.

He cast his gaze upward, giving the universe an admonishing little shake of his head. Seriously, what had he done to deserve this today? Was one quiet day so much to ask? Well, he could at least get this done quickly and find some time to himself; there was still plenty of time left as long as this wasn’t anything important. He pushed the door back open with a quizzical “Eeeyup?” that died, silent, in his throat at who he found standing outside.

“Good day, McIntosh Apple. Might we come in and speak to thee a while?” Princess Luna asked.

Mac, operating almost without thinking, stepped aside and motioned for the Princess to come into the house and decided that he and the universe really needed to sit down and have a nice long chat.