I - Interviewer
LH - Lyra Heartstrings
GH - Golden Harvest
FR - Filthy Rich

I - So what can you tell me about the Apple family?
LH - Salt of the earth and all that. Good folks. Heck, without the Apple family we wouldn’t even have a Ponyville, did you know that?
I - Really? I didn’t know that. What do you mean?
LH - Oh wow. I thought everypony knew that story! The Apple family founded Ponyville! At Princess Celestia’s suggestion, no less.
I - I...see.
LH - Hey. What’s with that face? You don’t believe me? Without the Apple family’s zap apple harvest, this town probably wouldn’t even exist! It was their wares that brought ponies in from miles around in the first place! If you don’t believe me, go ask the mayor! In fact, one second. Hey, Carrot Top!
GH - For the seventeen hundredth time, Lyra. My name is Golden Harvest.
LH - But I could have sworn it was…anyway, get over here a minute! This presspony thinks I’m making stuff up.
I - Well now, I never said…
GH - In fairness, Lyra, you do have quite the imagination.
LH - Ixnay on the aginationimay...imnay? Maginationnay? Dangit. Okay, forget it. Just tell this doubting doubtalot here how your family came to be in Ponyville.
GH - Uh...sure. Well, initially we just came out here to buy zap apple jam from the Apple family, but after a while my grandad decided this was a nice place so we settled here.
LH - SEE? I told you! In fact, oh hey there he is right now! Hey! Hey Filthy!
GH - Dammit, Lyra…
FR - I really do prefer to be called by my second name, for obvious reasons. How can I help you today, Ms Heartstrings?
LH - Back me up here, Richy. Wasn’t your great grandfather one of the first settlers in Ponyville?
FR - Why yes, yes he was. After the Apple family of course, though they were known as the Smiths back then. Granny Smith and her kin were the ones who discovered the zap apples that started my family on the road to wealth. Why, without them we might not have ever had a Ponyville. We owe them a debt we can never fully repay, which is why it’s our pleasure to help out with the zap apple harvest every year.
LH - See? How’s about that, doubty mcdoubt?
I - Ms Heartstrings, I didn’t mean to cast any doubt on the veracity of your tale. I’d like to thank you and your friends for setting the record straight. I’ll be sure to reflect that in my article.
FR - Article? Oh my, you’re from the Canterlot press! My name’s Filthy Rich, a pleasure to meet you. Tell me, have you ever visited one of my Barnyard Bargains stores?
I - I can’t say that I have. I do have one question for you all, though this is more directed at the mares. A question of a more personal nature if you don’t mind me asking?
LH - I’m not single, if that’s what you’re asking, though I can’t blame you for falling for THESE flanks!
GH - Or that ego…
FR - I think I’ll leave you girls to it. Fillytalk was never my forté. Have a pleasant day.
LH - Okay, it’s just us girls here. Shoot.
I - What can you tell me about Big Mac?
LH - Nice guy, great ass, but I play for the other team if you catch my drift. Carrot Top asked him out once, though.
GH - Seriously, Lyra. How many times...? You're right though, I did ask him out. Me and every other mare has tried, and me and every other mare have been ever so politely but firmly turned down. Personally I think he’s taken some freaky vow of celibacy. He does all that Neighponese meditation stuff, you know.
I - I didn’t know that. It does seem a little odd that he would turn down every mare in Ponyville. I have heard another theory on why that might be, however.
GH - Oh?
I - I’ve heard a rumour that there might have been something in his past that has lead to his shunning the company of mares. Would either of you happen to know anything about that?
LH - Are you trying to say that he’s secretly gay? That wouldn’t make much sense when he’s dating Princess Luna now, would it?
GH - Yeah. What sort of “something” are we talking about here? What exactly are you implying?
I - I’m not implying anything at all, that’s not my job. When somepony hints that events in a pony's life may be worth investigating, it’s my duty to look into it.
LH - The only thing you need to know is that Big Mac is one of the most stand-up stallions you’ll ever meet.
I - I’ll be sure to quote you in my article, Ms Heartstrings. Thank you both for your time today.