Rainbow Dash snorted and stared at Mac as if he’d just grown another head. “You’re yanking my tail, right? Can’t be done, big guy.”

“Ah ain’t askin’ ya to change the whole schedule. Just...does it have t’be THAT exact bit o’the orchards? There ain’t nothing growing there anyhow!”

“Hey, take it up with AJ. She put the request for rain in weeks ago. I can’t just change the schedule because you wanna get kissy with the Princess.”

Mac scowled in reply but couldn’t really argue with her. In hindsight he really should have checked the Ponyville weather schedule at the town hall before putting all his preparations in place. They’d been due a good long spell of wet weather for a while now but he’d been so wrapped up with making sure he had everything he needed that it wasn’t until last night that he’d even thought to look.

“That the final word?” he sighed.

“Well yeah. I mean you’re a friend and all but I can’t just change everything just for you…”
Still, the way she trailed off like that at the end suggested that Rainbow’s schedule might have just a little more flex in it than she was willing to let on and this was a game he knew how to play. He rolled his shoulders a little and snorted. “Let’s git down to it, Dash. What’s it gonna take t’change the schedule?”

Dash pressed a hoof to her chest, striking a pose of offended innocence. “I don’t know what you could possibly be insinuating. I already said I couldn’t change it or are you maybe hinting at offering the Element of Loyalty a BRIBE of all things?”

“A bribe? Naw, naw, nothin’ like that. Call it a...consideration,” Mac replied.

“Oh?” One of Dash’s ears perked up a little. “A consideration in…?”

"Next year’s cider harvest.” He could beat around the bush all day, but they both knew the one thing that Dash would never be able to refuse, so why waste time flapping their gums about it? The only thing that remained to be settled was how big a dent this was going to put into their supply. “Ah’ll set a mug aside for ya, guaranteed, no matter how many Pinkie buys.”

“One mug? Have you any idea how much work goes into these schedules and you expect me to work around you for one measly mug of delicious, foamy, perfect Sweet Apple Acres cider? It’d have to be a barrel at least.”

“One whole barrel?” Mac scoffed. “Fer wut? Twenty seconds work? As a friend, and as y'all will be helpin’ me out, we’ll call it two mugs.”

“Two? I’m sorry, did you actually offer me a measly two mugs for all the knowledge and skill and pure awesomeness that goes into clearing clouds that quickly? Is that how much you think my skills are worth? I’m hurt, Big Mac! Truly hurt,” Rainbow paused, then added, “and it would only take ten seconds. Tops.”

Someone had been taking lessons from Rarity, it seemed. All she needed to complete the melodramatic swoon was a couch to flop on. “Alright, fine,” he growled. “Just so happens ah got a half-keg of cider stashed away, mah own private stock. Y'guarantee me a clear day over that part of the orchard and ah’ll not only let ya have a mug from it now, ah’ll set aside three for ya next cider season.”

“Now? As in right now, now?”

“Eeeyup. Right now right now. Just think, Dash. Minute from now, ya can have that cold, crisp, sweet cider slidin’ down yer throat, knowing that ya can rush it or savour it, however ya like, because next year there’ll be another three just like it set aside for mah good friend who did me a favour in mah moment o’need.”

Because his Mother had raised him to be a thoughtful and courteous stallion, Mac politely didn’t draw attention to the condition of Rainbow’s wings. By the time he was finished talking, the pegasus’ pinions were extended and quivering in a gratuitous display of excitement.

Dash blinked, wiped a strand of drool from her bottom lip and stuck out her other hoof. “Deal!” she blurted, then growled under her breath as she realised what her wings were doing, her cheeks flaming red as she forced them back down to her sides. “When do you need it clear from?”

“We’re meetin’ up for lunch, so can ya make sure we’re clear from about eleven in the mornin’ through the rest of the day? Rest o’the farm’ll be wet but shouldn’t be too bad and we’ll have blankets if the ground’s still soggy on the hill.”

“I could just leave that bit out the entire day if that’s easier?”

“Naw. We might not grow anything up there, but there’s still plenty of trees and plants need the water. Can't deprive them o'that.”

“Oh yeah, gotcha,” she nodded. “Flutters takes that sort of thing really seriously. Alright, you got it. Blue skies and warm breezes for your Princess picnic. Now where’s this cider?”

Mac sighed, shrugged and motioned for Rainbow to follow him back to the barn where he kept his private stash.

“The matter is not open for debate, Emberfire. We do not report to you. When I say I am leaving my guard behind, I mean ALL the guard. I will be perfectly safe in Ponyville. Who would dare to attack one of the Princesses of Equestria, let alone attack her in the town where the Elements of Harmony reside?”

The bat pony barely managed to keep an frustrated sigh from slipping out as he stared at his Mistress, fighting the urge to snap and snarl at her as that would lead, at best, to a rebuke and at worst to a detail cleaning the latrines. Still, he had been with Luna ever since her return, hoof picked by her from the remaining bat ponies to head her personal guard and that afforded him a certain amount of leeway. In other words, few others could get away with speaking so bluntly to her as he was about to.

“Mistress, you and your Sister are powerful, yes, but all it would take is one madpony with a grudge and a knife, one assassin from another nation, one freak accident, and I would find myself on the Moon and the kingdom would be short one ruler.”

“I will be fine. There has not been an attempt on our lives in generations. Equestria is at peace.”

“Apart from Discord.”

“Well, yes--”

“And the Changelings,” he pressed on, despite the look of increasing annoyance on Luna’s face.

“I--”

“And I imagine Sombra wouldn’t have stopped with the Crystal Empire at his beck and call.”

“ENOUGH!”

And when she broke out the Royal Canterlot Voice, that was when he knew he’d pushed as far as he could. He bowed quickly, pressing his head down to the floor. “Mistress…” he ventured, ears still ringing. “You have to see this from my side. Our sole concern is your safety. We owe everything to you, myself especially. You chose me for this role, but now you make it very difficult for me to carry it out.”

“We do not need to be reminded of that, Emberfire,” Luna’s voice was cold and distant. “We know why we chose thee, and as much as it drives us to distraction on occasion, your dedication to our safety has never wavered.”

With his face pressed to the floor he didn’t see her sigh softly and then lean in, the sudden gentle nuzzle against his cheek making him flinch away in surprise. He hesitantly lifted his head to see the Princess of the Night smiling down at him, her expression a mix of fondness and exasperation.

“And it is because of that dedication that we accept the validity of thy protests. Thou mayest send two guards and two ONLY. They will keep their distance, come only when summoned and will not make their presence known to McIntosh unless there be a threat to his life or mine, do I make myself clear?”

Emberfire managed to keep his surprise from showing too obviously on his face. Did…did he just win? “Of course, Mistress. I will pick them myself.”

“We would expect nothing less. You will ensure they are ready to depart on the hour. Oh, and Emberfire?”

“Mistress?”

“Discretion is the watchword here. My dealings in Ponyville are not to reach the ears of the Court, or the Canterlot nobility. Should I find that one of the guards has been speaking out of turn, I would be forced to reconsider your suitability as head of my personal guard.” Her tone remained mild, pleasant, even as the look in those blue eyes hardened. “We will meet our chosen escorts in our private garden. Thou’rt dismissed.”

Emberfire gulped, bowed low once more, then backed out the room as quickly as decorum would allow. Closing the door behind him, the batpony sagged back against it with a sigh, wiping a hoof across his brow, much to the amusement of the two Night Guards flanking the door.

“Did you try and tell the Mistress she couldn’t do something?” asked one. “And she let you go with your hide intact? She really must like you.”

“Oh shut up,” he grumbled. “Mistress just doesn’t like anyone trying to tell her what she can and can’t do, but she knows that if she gives me this one concession it’ll be easier than trying to dodge out all the patrols I’ll send looking for her the next time she sneaks off.”

Emberfire pushed away from the door, absently straightening his helm atop his head. “Do you know if Shadowstep and Mourne have returned from their patrol yet?”

“Sir, yes sir,” the guard promptly replied. “We saw them come in a little while ago. They’re likely down in the mess getting some food. I know that’s where I’d be.”

“That’s because you do all your thinking with your stomach, Quills.” His previously silent compatriot added, the mare winking at Emberfire. “But in this case he’s likely right.”

“Either way, good enough place to start looking,” Emberfire agreed. “All right, thanks. Keep up the good work and all that,” and because they weren’t entirely as casual as the Solar Guard made them out to be, he thumped one hoof firmly to his chest. “All Hail the Mistress of the Night, be about your duties.”

The two guards crisply returned the salute, standing that little bit straighter at the door as he turned and headed in search of two of the most dedicated ponies it had ever been his privilege to serve with. He couldn’t think of anyone he’d trust to keep Luna safe more than this pair.

Shining Armor was used to many things. When you chose to romantically pursue royalty, you had to understand that they weren’t entirely like other ponies. Alicorns had duties and responsibilities above and beyond the mundane, but more than that they had the oddest drives and instincts that often lead to some…strange behaviour.

Take his wife, for instance. When Cadance had received the letter from Princess Luna, she had near torn their bedroom apart in her eagerness to leave and help in Luna’s pursuit of this mysterious somepony. He’d seen this fervor in her eyes before and knew there was nothing he could do to reason with her or dissuade her, only help in making sure she got to where she needed to go as quickly as possible.

Cadance was powerful, all alicorns were, but even she didn’t have the magic she needed to teleport all the way to Canterlot, not without outside help. So, he shared his own magic with her, letting her use it to give her the boost she needed to make it to the city rather than having to take the train. A simple plan, but one which left him lying in bed, the drapes drawn and every light turned out as he dealt with one of the most severe magical backlash headaches he’d had since the invasion of Canterlot.

He rolled over, pulling a pillow over his aching head and tender horn, groaning in discomfort as even the touch of the soft fabric made his skin prickle unpleasantly. He could only hope that her visit had been worth it.

Two days, and he was still barely able to see straight or walk to the bathroom. When they’d cast the Changelings from Canterlot, he had been able to tap into her magic so the backlash from even that massive spell had been mild. This, on the other hoof, was like nothing he’d experienced since he’d been a foal first experimenting with shield spells.

While he was debating if it might be easier to go and soak his head in a barrel of wine till he passed out or drowned (at this point either seemed preferable), a sudden knocking at the chamber door made him flinch. Every thud of hoof on wood was like someone pounding a hammer onto his skull and he buried his head further under the pillow in a vain attempt to block it out.

“Go away,” he croaked, finally poking his muzzle out from the nest of blankets and pillows. “Your Prince Consort wishes to die in peace.”

“Sir, Princess Cadance has arrived from Canterlot and is on her way back through the city now,” the voice of one of his personal guard came muffled through the door. “We thought you would wish to be informed.”

“Huh? Has it been that long already?” Well, that would explain why the inside of his mouth had roughly the same texture as moss and tasted about as pleasant. “Nngh. Okay, okay. Can you have some tea sent up? Some sandwiches too. I need to…freshen up.”

“Of course, Sir. I’ll take care of that for you.”

Shining waited till he heard the hoofbeats fade down the corridor before he slowly levered himself upright, waiting for the room to stop spinning around him before taking a wary step out of the bed. Okay, that was good, first hoof down, three more to go. Little by little he made his way across and into the bathroom, turning the shower on and stepping in, wincing as even the feel of the droplets of water on his head sent little sharp pains through his skull.

“Princesses can be hard work,” he muttered to himself as he let his head droop, watching droplets of water bead and dangle on the end of his horn before joining the rest swirling around his hooves.

“Oh REALLY?” A new voice archly enquired. “Hard work, are we?”

“Mmhmm,” he mumbled without bothering to look around. There was a voice he knew as well as he did the sight of his own face in the mirror, a voice that made him feel warm inside, his aching head feeling lighter just from knowing she was back with him. “How did you get here so fast?”

“Flew,” his wife replied simply as she stepped into the shower with him, wrapping her forelegs lightly around him and resting her head on the back of his neck as the water poured down over them both. Even that simple touch made him feel better and he sighed, relaxing back into his wife’s embrace.

“How did the visit go?” He looked back over his shoulder, pushing his mane out his face as he nudged her muzzle up to press a light kiss to her lips. Best to keep it chaste till he’d had a chance to brush his teeth, he’d barely moved out of the bed since she left.

“Oh, Luna was her usual stubborn self… But I think we made some good progress. She really does have a lot to learn about how things are done these days. The poor dear is astonishingly, uhm...inexperienced in some ways. I think Mac’s going to be a good influence on her, maybe bring her out of her shell a little more.”

“Wait, Mac? BIG Mac? From Ponyville? Applejack’s brother? That Mac? How under Celestia’s Sun did those two hook up?” Shining shook his head in astonishment and turned to face his wife, turning the water off briefly so they could talk more easily.

Forgetting for a moment that he was far from at his best the shaking of his head sent the room spinning around him again and he stumbled in the shower. Cadance was there in a moment, pressing up against him to support him and gently ease him back to the cool wall of the shower while he waited for the world to stop rotating quite so quickly. He allowed himself a moment to relax, to let his head rest on her shoulder as she curved her neck down to press to his in a gentle embrace.

“I’ll tell you all about it once we’re back in bed, Shiny,” she assured him as she nudged his head back up. “Right now, let’s just get you cleaned up,” she tapped his nose lightly with one hoof as she turned the water back on. “You stink.”

“I love you too,” he laughed, and did as he was told.

“You understand that this is entirely off the record, of course?”

“Naturally, Prince Blueblood. My office operates with the highest levels of discretion. Might I ask why I’ve been called here?” The silver earth pony with the short blue mane stood at exactly the correct distance from Blueblood’s desk that etiquette proscribed, his head lifted attentively, ears and eyes attentive and focused on every word.

“I understand that you’re acquainted with the Apple family of Ponyville.” He didn’t phrase it as a question, he’d made sure the information on this was very, very good before he’d extended the invitation for this particular pony to visit the apartment he kept in Canterlot, away from the prying eyes of the palace guards and other nobles.

To Red Tape’s credit, the only outward sign of distress he showed was a slight tightening of his lips and narrowing of his eyes. “I have been involved in their dealings, yes.”

“That’s a polite way of putting it, I understand,” Blueblood mused sympathetically, tapping one hoof on the expanse of the broad mahogany desk that separated the two of them. “Did you manage to get rid of the bats in the end?”

There was no disguising the tic that suddenly started just below Red Tape’s eye and it was a moment or two before he could regain his composure enough to speak. “In the end, yes. The matter was resolved with the town council and the...animals...were rehomed.” Getting their filth out of his bathroom, on the other hand, had taken weeks. Sometimes he swore he could still smell them.

“And all because you were just doing your job…” tsk’ed the Prince. “How sad. Just because she’s one of the Element Bearers she and her friends seem to think that the letter of the law doesn’t apply to them.”

“Exactly so, sire,” and this time the bitterness in his voice was plain to hear. “But might I ask why this is of interest to you now? It’s been nearly a year since the incident on the Apple Farm.”

“The matter has only recently been brought to my attention and it only confirmed my suspicions about the bias and favouritism shown to those that the Princesses favour. As a member of Canterlot’s nobility, we are meant to stand above the common pony, to set an example that others can aspire to. I wish your aid in making this happen.”

While Blueblood’s attention turned to one of the drawers in his desk, Red Tape looked around the opulent suite he currently found himself in. Even his untrained eye could tell that the fittings and furniture were of the highest quality, the silk curtains that framed the windows, the Saddle Arabian rugs that covered the floor, every inch of the room was opulent to the point of decadence. Every breath he took was filled with the wafting scents of expensive spices and musks imported from Neighpon, and even the broad, heavy desk that Blueblood sat beside likely cost more than he, a lowly bureaucrat, earned in a year.

Most telling of all, however, was the art that decorated the walls. There we have Blueblood in repose. Over there is Blueblood standing triumphant in Royal Guard armour. That one shows Blueblood with a gorgeous mare at each hoof. Every piece of art was Blueblood, Blueblood, Blueblood. Anything this stallion did, he did to benefit himself firstly, secondly and thirdly. Red Tape prided himself on being many things, and one thing he was not was a fool. He didn’t buy that manure about this somehow being a civic service for even a moment. No, whatever his bone of contention was with the Apples, it was more personal than that… And that suited him just fine.

Blueblood dropped a thick manila folder onto the desk and pushed it across to Red Tape. “This is a full inventory of the holdings and interests of the Apple family. They’ve been approved by the Palace functionaries and accountants, of course, but I’d like you to double check them and pursue any irregularities that you find. If we are to end this culture of royal cronyism, an example will have to be made and the Apples, being such a well known family among Equestria’s business community, are a perfect place to start.”

“I couldn’t agree more, Prince Blueblood,” Red Tape agreed as he tucked the folder up in a foreleg, rather proud that he even managed to keep any of his disdain for his new employer from showing in his voice. Cronyism, favouritism, Blueblood could call it whatever he liked, it made no difference to him. This was the opportunity he’d been looking for, a chance for a little payback, and for that he’d put up with any amount of false sincerity and double-dealing. “I’ll begin my investigation into the Apples immediately,” he paused for a moment, pursing his lips. “However, as you’ve stated, the Elements of Harmony enjoy the favour of the Palace. If I begin looking into their affairs who is to say the Palace won’t take further steps to protect the Apple family?”

“You let me worry about that. You won’t report your findings to anyone but me. Should I be challenged on my sources I will let the paperwork speak for itself and should the Palace try to divert the investigation or stamp it out,” he smiled ever so slightly, “then all they will be doing is legitimising my claim that they are unjustly favouring the Apple family due to their relationship to the Crown. Celestia would have no choice but to back off or attract even more negative attention.”

And at the same time, Red Tape mused to himself, should that tactic fail he was under no illusions that Blueblood wouldn’t hang him out to dry before the wax had cooled on the warrant for his arrest. Still, there were ways to deal with that, further steps he could take to protect himself and isolate himself from any potential fallout, steps that Blueblood didn’t need to know about.

The two stallions smiled at each other across the desk. They understood one another perfectly.

Author's Notes:

For an explanation of who Red Tape is and just why he has an issue with bats, I'd strongly recommend reading the story "Applejack's Bar" by Alaborn.

I know there’s a few characters with this name in the fandom already, all of them bureaucratic sorts, but this particular story has the greatest direct influence on him and his motivations in this context.