“Hellooooooooooooooo, Ponyacchi fans! You know, I used to be a singer-songwriter type, and the funniest thing was, I could never wake up in the mornings! So that’s where I got my first hit, the Broken Alarm Clock Blues!”

Pinkie rolled over onto her tits to hit the snooze button on her alarm clock, and the “Ponyacchi Oversized Album of Rejected Alarm Clock Jokes” recording cut off a couple words into his next gag. She felt exhausted! Every part of her body, inside and out, felt tired and… well, amazing. But also tired. And amazing! But tired.

Images of yesterday seeped through her mind like an endless series of flashers opening their trenchcoats to reveal lurid scenes within, except when she thought about it, lurid hadn’t always been the best description. There’d been tons of moments where she and everyone else had just been hanging out and chatting about stuff and maybe even having emotions! Sure, she’d been bare-ass naked for most of those moments, but there’d still been emotions! And then there was all the hardcore partying which had just been fun fun fun, like old times except with more friends around because Sunset wasn’t working to turn everyone against her. Not as far as she knew, anyway. So maybe like it’d been in freshman year, sometime after her Pinkie D period, but for every party memory there was a conversation memory or a sex memory to go with it… huh.

Pinkie snuggled deeper into her enormous blue covers, intent on feeling as warm as possible for as long as possible. When had everything become so complicated? She’d led such a simple, predictable life: hang out with friends, host parties for the entire school, and masturbate to Fluttershy. Well, she’d had some for-reals sexual partners too, she supposed, like Photo Finish, but none of that had ever been regular let alone daily! What had Watermelody said? This was a new chapter in her life? Well, that made sense, she supposed; a chapter that had started when Twilight Sparkle stepped through the portal from Equestria. Either time, really. And everything had only gotten progressively more complicated from there! It was as if the bigger her boobs were, the more other people she had to think about all the time. Maybe if she just abstained from sex for a few weeks, her boobs would go back to normal human sizes and life would be a lot simpler afterwards, but on the other hand, that would mean spending entire weeks without sex…

But Watermelody hadn’t only mentioned chapters, she’d mentioned acts, like there was going to be a big climax at the end of some sort of “Act 5” and some mythical “majestic figure” would show up and fix everything or something like that. Bring it on! But Pinkie couldn’t quite convince herself she’d started Act 5 yet, let alone reached the end of it. Suppose Twilight’s return, and Pinkie’s learning about her new magic boobies, had been Act 1. And then her big romance with Fluttershy, and maybe even making up with Rarity again, that could be Act 2. So that would make all this hoopla with the eco kids Act 3… admittedly some of those events had overlapped a bit, but what the hey, Pinkie had never been above overlooking a few details while writing her retrospective essays in History class. And now she was retrospectivizing her own life, or at least the last several weeks or so of it! Oh but then that implied she’d have to get a teacher to give her a grade on her own life at some point and that didn’t sound fun at all.

But that left two whole acts, didn’t it? There was still sooooo much stuff she had to do before she could get her Happily Ever After! …assuming that Watermelody was wrong about life not really being narrative and no happy endings being guaranteed, anyway. She still needed to make up with Applejack and Rainbow Dash… and now Sweet Leaf too. Ugh! She needed to train Team Player in the art of making parties. She needed to keep up with her homework and figure out how best to balance friends, parties, and sex. And if she ever found the time, she really needed to figure out what the heck she was doing with her life after graduating. At some point she’d hear back from those colleges Rarity had helped her apply to—she really probably ought to make an effort to figure out when that would be—and then she’d need to pick one to attend, or if not, to have another plan ready. Which so far she didn’t.

Pinkie’s alarm went off again—“How can you tell how old a dog is during a full moon? An old dog likes to stay in bed, and a young one likes to bay instead!”—and she reluctantly got up to shut it off. The sun flooded in through the window to bathe her naked body in morning light, and she stretched and gave her breasts an appreciative rubdown. Mmm-mmmmm! Never let it be said that huge tits weren’t fucking awesome! She was never going back to her old chest size, not even if the fate of Canterlot High depended on it.

The thought of Canterlot High stirred up more memories of yesterday, and Pinkie walked over to stare out her window, resting her tits on the windowsill after making sure nobody was walking by outside. No more dress code! She and Fluttershy could show up absolutely starkers and they would be normal… at least for one day. A pretty important, jam-packed day too, by the sounds of it! Principal Celestia was going to make an announcement of some kind. Twilight Sparkle was finally going to bang Flash Sentry, and Pinkie would throw her a party in the evening. And between those things she was going to talk to Fluttershy. About… stuff. Gosh.

Ambient background music stole over her as she stared out the window, and Pinkie felt a smile steer its way onto her face. Music meant songs, and songs meant montages, and montages meant getting showered and dressed and stuff would take her a lot less time! She turned away from the window and spun around with her hair twirling behind her, letting her mouth open for the unfamiliar, yet instantly learnable tune.

Twilight Sparkle twirled out of the closet, posing with her hands held away from her body so as to show as much of her outfit as possible. “How’s this?!” A sparkly purple skirt clung to her legs at exactly Canterlot High’s regulation length, bedazzled with a piano motif that she was considering adapting into her fashion life. Above it was a tight black belt that made her waist look as thin as possible while holding together an elegant blue blouse bestrewn with ruffles and bows. Her hair was pushed up in a big bun behind her head but also dangled down to her waist in twin curly tails, and more piano keys flowed, wavelike, from her white star earrings. She’d hoped for six-pointed stars, to match her cutie marks, but the jeweler hadn’t had any in stock and Rarity hadn’t had the time to make any for her. Still, a little thing like five vs. six points didn’t make a big difference when she felt so elegant and beautiful!

Sunset Shimmer, sprawled tiredly on her couch and wearing only a pink and incongruously fluffy towel, snorted. “Too fancy.”

“Really? But we’re going to see a moving picture story!”

“They’re called movies, Twilight. And they’re not formal affairs at all! Maybe if you were going to the opera…”

“Oh.” Twilight looked down at herself and suddenly felt ridiculous instead of beautiful. The trouble was that Equestria had yet to develop these moving pictu—these movies—and she was therefore rather shorter on references than she would have liked. She had found some pictures in human books of humans dressed in fancy clothes for movie dates, but perhaps society had changed since those pictures were taken? And her internet searches for clothes to wear to suggest you wanted to have sex had gone in… different directions.

Alternatively, the trouble was that she’d never understood fashion very well to begin with. Since she’d moved to Ponyville, Rarity—pony Rarity—had taken responsibility for all her and all her friends’ fashion choices, and the only clothes she’d ever needed at the School for Gifted Unicorns had been strictly for academic functions. And when she’d gone shopping with human Rarity, they’d only been talking about clothes to wear to school, not to wear on all-important dates...

Alternatively, the trouble was sitting in front of her.

“Sunset, you were…” Twilight paused and tried to choose her words carefully. “A lot more… cheerful? Uh, yesterday. When we were picking out clothes for my last date.”

Sunset shrugged. “You mean back when you weren’t as excited as you are this time? And now that you can’t shut up about Flash and banging him, you think I’m acting grumpier? Yeah, funny how that works.”

“But we scientifically disproved the theory that our emotions had been magically (but inversely) linked by the Elements of Harmony!”

“And I don’t need magic to feel grumpy. Hell, it’s more like the other way around.”

Twilight sighed and went over to join Sunset on the couch; Sunset, after a moment of hesitation, shifted enough to make room for her. The pink towel lifted an inch or two as she moved, briefly exposing a dark crevice between the girl’s legs, but Twilight willed her eyes to look into her friend’s face instead.

For all her grumpiness, Sunset Shimmer had been there for Twilight practically since the moment she’d returned to Canterlot High. The whole gang had already been assembled around the portal that night, having apparently received some kind of mental premonition that Twilight would be arriving there, and they’d spent a good couple hours catching up once something had been done to get poor Fluttershy a new shirt. But when they’d all felt tired and it came out that Twilight didn’t have anywhere to stay, unless she counted the school library, Sunset had volunteered her house. And there she’d stayed ever since.

And as various factors (but none of them evil and obviously solvable-via-giant-rainbow) had been conspiring to move their group of friends in different directions as their high school graduation loomed closer, Twilight had found herself spending more time with Sunset exclusively, even while they were in school instead of at home. They’d studied magic, studied human customs and biology, studied Pinkie Pie (mostly at a distance), and talked about their feelings. Or Twilight’s feelings, at least, since Sunset was frustratingly resistant to opening herself up. But if there was one feeling she had made herself clear about, it was her disapproval of Twilight’s burgeoning relationship with Flash Sentry.

So Twilight put on her best nurturing friend face and patted Sunset on the knee. “Sunset, I understand that it’s hard for you to see me doing this with your ex-boyfriend, and I am so grateful for how much understanding you’ve shown us so far, but…”

“Twilight Sparkle.”

“Huh?”

Sunset had intercepted Twilight’s hand in midair; she turned it over and clasped it tightly in both her own. Her expression bore no traces of anger or scorn, but was one that Twilight remembered seeing there only one time before: after her untransformation from a demon, when she’d cried out for their acceptance.

“Twilight, please. Just this once, let me tell you this one thing, not as a supervillain—“

“Reformed supervillain?”

“Sure, if you like.” She tossed off the concession without appearing to think about before returning to her earlier earnesty. “One thing, not as a reformed supervillain, not as a petty ex, but as a girl who wants the best for the stupid pretty pony princess who is honestly her best friend. Okay?”

“…okay! Of course I’ll be happy to listen to anything you have to say, Sunset.”

“Great.” Sunset stared deep into her eyes and Twilight found herself unable to look away. Her friend’s expression was full of pleading, and unhappiness, and… loneliness? “Twilight, this is not going to work out. You’re telling yourself this grand fairytale about the princess and her guitar-playing knight from another dimension, and none of it is true. Life isn’t a fairytale. It’s not even a story. It just… is. You can’t change the world just by wishing it will.”

“Sunset, you’ve said all this before. Repeatedly.”

“I know!” Sunset’s voice rose as she said it, but still without anger, which somehow made it worse. “And you still haven’t believed me. My best friend is making a mistake and she’s not listening to me and it is breaking my heart. Which is apparently an organ I still have for some stupid fucking reason, since it’s not doing me a hell lot of good!” She dropped Twilight’s hand and rose from the couch with her towel falling away from her; she stood there, fully naked and yet fully clad in all her classic scornful dignity, and yet her tears had not so much vanished as moved into Twilight’s eyes. “Tell me this one thing, Twilight. Flash Sentry. Do you love him?”

“Well…” Twilight tried to look away, but the intensity of Sunset’s stare made that impossible. “No, not yet, but…”

“Then stop pretending that you do!” The bathroom door swung open in response to a brief flash of Sunset’s horn, and she strode toward it, stopping only at the last minute with a sudden look of consideration. “Okay, so apparently I’ve still got like three more things to say before I make my dramatic exit.”

“Yeah?”

“Number one, I never loved him either, so don’t pretend I’m just some psycho jealous bitch. Number two, I am going to bed early tonight, so either you’re staying the night with Flash or you’re going where we both know you really belong.”

“And, uh, number three…?”

Sunset sighed, her shoulders slumping. Still, her voice remained audible as she disappeared into the bathroom. “Wear the third outfit you showed me today. You looked beautiful in it.”

The sound of showering soon filled the house, but Twilight remained stuck to the couch, not quite trusting herself to move as her emotions bounced around from stubbornness to fear to misery to excitement and back again. Sunset had to be wrong, didn’t she? Maybe she was jealous, or maybe she was genuinely worried about Twilight’s future, but either way, she didn’t know everything! There was more to Twilight than anyone else knew about! And Sunset had hardly even spoken with Flash since their breakup, which had been… a while ago? Twilight realized she’d never exactly asked about the date. But the point was, Flash was undoubtedly a different man now than he had been then, so really Sunset had nothing to go on!

Okay, so maybe there were a few minor details that she’d been hiding from him. And everybody else. But it would all work itself out, wouldn’t it? He loved her, didn’t he? Even if she didn’t love him? But they had plenty of time to work on that together. The Princess of Love had found a husband and a kingdom for them to rule, and so too would the Princess of Friendship, and he would join her in Equestria, where she belonged, and they would rule… something… and, and…

And what about Flash’s friends? Shouldn’t the Princess of Friendship worry about them too? Flash had told her about the upcoming Canterlot High School Musical Showcase and how he and his friends were putting a band together. “Flash Drive,” he’d said they were calling it. Was she going to take that all away from him? His music, his friends, and… his family? All so that he could be an Equestrian prince? Or if she didn’t, what would her life be like, forever jumping back and forth between worlds? And what would Equestria think of a princess who couldn’t even convince her husband to live in the same world as her?

No, that was all nonsense! She knew the way her story went, and so did everyone, practically before they’d even heard it! It was only common sense, the stuff of legends. Act 1: Go from shy student to defender of Equestria. Act 2: Learn the magic of friendship. Act 3: Become a princess. Act 4: Find true love in another world. Act 5: Work together with her former enemy to unite herself and her love—and the two worlds—in harmony and matrimony. The next step on her list was Happily Ever After, and that would take care of everything! Because if it didn’t, that would mean, that she… and one of… that she’d broken…

Well… she hadn’t. That was all there was to it. Princess Twilight Sparkle’s destiny had simply arrived, the appropriate end of her long fairytale journey, with no nagging emotional complications getting in the way. All she had to do was to survive one night of wonderful, life-altering vaginal sexual intercourse with Flash and everything else was sure to fall into place. Just one night.

The sound of Sunset’s shower faded from Twilight’s senses and was immediately replaced with the familiar sound of ambient background music she knew so well from Equestria, which always accompanied her most dramatic or montage-related moments. She smiled deliberately. “This is our big night…”

Twilight clamped a hand over her mouth. Err, no, that probably wasn’t the best choice. The last time she’d sung that, she’d been getting ready to defeat Sunset Shimmer in the election for Fall Formal Princess. Reprising it now, right when she was trying to steal away Sunset’s ex-boyfriend, would probably be just a teeny bit tactless. Wasn’t there anything else she could sing?

Oh, yes! Twilight smiled again and stood up from the couch. The closet beckoned for her return. She remembered a song she’d heard sung once by her foalsitter—or rather, by the Princess of Love. It had sounded like a duet, which was perfect, because that meant Flash could sing the other half in his own house! Maybe it would even cover the entire time spent getting to school and they could come together in the parking lot and harmonize on the final lines, not that she was actually quite sure how it ended. Love was so exciting!

Together they sang:

“This day is going to be perfect

My coronation’s culmination’s here at last

Watch a movie, fool around

And then once we have stripped down

I can find out whether ‘Flash’ means that he’s fast!”

“This day is gonna be important

It seems my life is changing and I don’t know why

For it’s not balloons or cake

That I now anticipate

Instead a conversation with my Fluttershy…”

“I’ve got a dress that’s just the best

I’ve got a beau who’s apropos

No, I am not lying when I say

“That our love will be immortal

Now I’ve crossed this magic portal

It’s what my duty mark is telling me

“No I may not love him yet

But auld acquaintance shan’t beget

Such feelings as I feel bound to deny!”

“I’ve been banging a wallflower

And my boobs have magic powers

Tell me how life got this way

“Now our dress code has expired

And the school may be attired

Or else naked, or some combo, cum who may

“But today this world may change

The rules, my love life, rearranged

Oh, Twilight Sparkle, what have you done to me?”

“Finally the moment has arrived

Virginity I’ll toss aside…”

“Oh, I sure will be amazed

If we all make it through unscathed

All of Canterlot is…”

“fine… I’m… fine?”

One not-especially-time-consuming montage later, Pinkie Pie stood before the front lawn of Canterlot High. She wore a pink and white candy-cane-striped dress, long enough to reach her ankles and break the rules that had apparently been in place until then, and it transitioned into long loose sleeves around her arms. Combined with her traditional tall boots, that left only her shoulders and substantial cleavage on display, though even they were partially obscured by the dress’s pearly white shoulder straps with pink heart symbols, which in turn covered up one of her magic milk-absorbing bras. Looking in the mirror, she’d thought she looked pretty but a trifle monotonous, so she’d tied the whole thing together with a large robin-egg-colored sash around her middle and even a dab of blue bubblegum lipstick. She felt ready to take on the world.

And the interesting thing was, as she walked inside, the world didn’t seem terribly invested in taking her up on that plan.

It had been a while since Pinkie had come to school and not been greeted with any reaction whatsoever. Freshman year, maybe, when nobody but Dashie had really known her for the first couple months? But with Rarity’s help she’d gained both friends and also fans as she became the public face of the party planning committee, and the latter at least had stuck with her through the Sunset Era. It hadn’t been the same, but it hadn’t been nothing. And then there’d been a while where people would comment on her steadily growing tits, and then the noises of disappointment when she’d started covering herself up some more. But always there had been reactions.

Not today. Today everyone was much more absorbed in each other. Word of the suspended dress code had obviously spread overnight, and Pinkie was one of the more dressed students—at least among the seniors and older juniors—by far, despite displaying enough cleavage to build a farm on. A lot of students of both sexes had taken the very simple approach of simply discarding half their clothes, going either topless or bottomless but not both, depending presumably on whichever part of their bodies they felt more proud of, but others had clearly dressed to titillate as well as simply experiment.

A pair of girls Pinkie recognized as being on the swim team stood by one nearby wall, smiling and giggling and posing for photographs. Their hair was wet from Pinkie-knew-not-what shenanigans and clung intoxicatingly to their long, lithe bodies, which were otherwise covered only by sheer blue leotards with cut-out crotches. Pinkie felt a strong and immediate urge to get to know them better, but she was distracted by the sight of Lyra Heartstrings in an attractively ridiculous outfit that Pinkie charitably called a white bra and golden skirt, except that both items were maybe about an inch tall apiece. Her forest-green areolas peeped out invitingly from beneath the so-called bra, and the silvery liquids dripping down Lyra’s inner thighs were visible to anyone.

Pinkie wandered the halls at random, no goal in her mind besides seeing more and more of her classmates and however they had decided to dress themselves. Vinyl Scratch wore an amazing, technicolor, wet dream coat, clasped once across her navel but flared open both above and below, looking like a giant X that left both her boobs and her crotch completely bare. Watermelody she saw briefly at a distance, somewhat more traditionally dressed in a pair of brick-red panties and no shirt, plus some black-and-white-striped stockings and elbow gloves to cover her various limbs. Her beret rested jauntily on her head, presumably once more hiding her detachable penis in wait for whatever sexcapades awaited her next.

Not until Pinkie saw Rarity did she realize she should have been looking for the fashionistas to begin with. Rarity’s outfit was almost certainly helped out a little by magic: she wore only a single purple/gold satin ribbon tied to her horn, three or four inches wide, which descended all the way to the floor by spiraling around her body. Rarity was clearly naked underneath it, but the way the spiraling ribbon constantly moved around her served to hide or this or that part of her anatomy from view at any given second, only then to reveal it a moment later and hide something else, leaving Pinkie to feel properly teased despite being able to see everything. She was talking to the blue-haired cupcake girl, whose normal yellow goggles were complemented by an open metallic-gold bomber jacket with no shirt underneath it. That wasn’t itself too innovative, although very sexy, but her legs were covered in similarly metallic gold pants which upon a moment’s closer inspection revealed themselves to be body paint. Her long blue pubic hair was impossibly styled in the shape of an airplane, and the way she stood suggested her baggage compartment was open for loading. Furry white rings around her ankles hid the division from her golden legs to her bare green feet with dark blue toenails.

To their side stood another girl Pinkie remembered seeing Rarity hanging out with sometimes, Rose Heart or something like that, whose long red hair was put up behind her head in a semblance of a tiara. Her devotion to asymmetrical design stood out instead in her dress, which was long and translucent pink and marked by several rows of artificial red roses down its front, obscuring her left breast from view—but only that one, because the dress was somehow cut to hang only on the left side of her body, while she was nude from head to toe on her right. The only thing beside her hair tiara that was fully symmetrical was her ruby-red lipstick, which beckoned Pinkie even from across the hall. Their friend Aqua Blossom, whose name Pinkie knew because she was a regular partygoer, looked almost normal at first in a yellow bra and short blue skirt, but her bra was made entirely of bows and ribbons tied haphazardly together and allowing more than a few glimpses at her lovely round boobs, and the top of her skirt was made of six large pink flower designs spaced at regular intervals around her hips, but with only the petals defined; the center of each flower was cut out and showed through to her teal skin and in one case her pussy. Pinkie Pie decided that she loved fashion.

And all that was without mentioning the sex. There was sex. Full on, no holds barred, uncensored crotch bumping and nipple licking and butt fondling and anything else Pinkie cared to name, oral and vaginal and everywhere in-between, not hiding behind closet doors or up on the roof but just out in the open for all to see and/or join in on. She was relieved to see condoms present in situations where condoms were appropriate, but she spared only a moment for that relief, because all the busy-getting and merry-making going on around her was too intoxicating to let her think about much more than naked bodies and all their interesting details. Her pussy was running red hot from all the bounty and booty spread out before her, and she found herself regretting wearing such a long skirt, but she contented herself with reaching up to roll her boobs around in her dress and even had a small orgasm at the sight of Lyra Heartstrings at the head of a line of five girls, each one on her knees to eat out the girl in front of her. Pinkie felt strongly tempted to join the line herself, even try to turn it into a ring, but she still wanted to see more. All her worries about what was right for her or for the school were forgotten for the moment, and Pinkie Pie was nothing more than a horny young lesbian suddenly presented with more breasts than a KFC restaurant.

She did get a brief reminder of the complexities of her life at the sight of Starshine at the top of a flight of stairs, dressed in a scarlet corset (boobs showing) and cape and moccasins, and a nude Flower Child kneeling with her head buried in Starshine’s pussy, but Pinkie decided there would be plenty of chances to find out what they thought about her some other time, so she quickly moved on. There was still so much to see! Photo Finish had set up a photobooth in the cafeteria, but judging by the line of couples waiting to get in, most of them smiling nervously at each other and maybe doing a little bit of boob-grabbig, she was providing less an opportunity for photographs and more a place for people to get it on even if they were a bit shier about public nudity. For her part, Photo Finish was busy bouncing up and down on an especially meaty-looking cock, so Pinkie supposed everyone was having a good time there.

Everyone seemed to be reacting to the new, and probably temporary, circumstances in their own ways, including the various students who weren’t of age yet and seemed to be walking around in states of permanent shock. Pinkie crossed paths with a techie girl who was completely naked and had a truly spectacular butt besides, but the girl looked like she was much more interested in playing some game on her phone than in doing anything overtly sexual. Pinkie thought about saying something, maybe propositioning her, but the girl looked perfectly happy the way she was and besides Pinkie had probably been getting some similarly strange looks for her many clothes she had on. So they went their separate ways.

Then Pinkie turned a corner and came to a standstill at the sight of Fluttershy on the floor, predictably naked, getting triple-teamed by three guys Pinkie didn’t even recognize while giving a fourth one a handjob. Happy whimpering noises crept out of her mouth around the dick that kept reinserting itself there, and Pinkie couldn’t look away from her girlfriend’s enormous bouncing tits. Sweat and other substances dripped down her yellow body and caused her nipples to look especially shiny and suckable in the artificial light of the school, but there were too many guys in the way for Pinkie to push her way in and play with them, so she settled for just watching. Fluttershy looked so happy, for all that the dick in her mouth made it a little harder than usual to read her expression, and Pinkie felt happy too just from watching her. This was how Fluttershy felt safest interacting with strangers—naked, with infinite attention paid to her body and very little to getting her to say anything—and in some roundabout way Pinkie had helped bring about this day, with all its strange absent rules, when Fluttershy could feel her absolute freest and most loved. Perhaps, she thought, staring at Fluttershy’s heaving bosom and drooling a little, it had all been worth it.

“Holy shit,” said a voice from over Pinkie’s shoulder. She turned around reluctantly and then gasped. Standing beside her, also staring at the sight of Fluttershy and her four fuckbuddies, was Rainbow Dash! And Team Player too! Dashie was wearing all her normal styles of clothes, skirt-over-shorts and everything, but TP had somehow lost her shirt or rather had slung it over her shoulder, showing off her large hefty boobs and their red oval nipples that Pinkie had never quite managed to forget. Despite her having spent the last several minutes wandering through an entire school full of half-or-more naked boys and girls, there was something about TP’s big chest in particular that drew Pinkie’s eyes and made it hard for her to look away. Maybe she had given up hope on ever seeing those particular boobs again.

But look away she did after staring just long enough to make TP turn red. “You guys!” Pinkie exclaimed, doing her best to sound innocent. “Hiya!”

“Hey, Pinkie,” said Rainbow Dash. “Me and TP met up to talk sports stuff before school got started, and then all this happened.”

Pinkie nodded. Yep, “this happened” pretty much covered everything! She glanced at TP again to see if she had anything to add, but TP only turned redder and tried to hide behind her shirt without actually putting it on, so Pinkie did her best to focus her attention elsewhere. “So… uh, Dashie?”

“Yeah?”

“Aren’t you kinda… not into this stuff? Or something?” She still really didn’t know what was going on with Rainbow Dash, like, at all. She’d abandoned Pinkie in the cafeteria that one day with everyone else, but that’d been because Applejack had invited her. She’d seemed kinda annoyed when Rarity had been fingerfucking Pinkie in the sports tent, but only kinda, and surely she’d have been able to say no to Tight End’s whole plan if she’d wanted to. She had become a mystery, which was really really weird, because Rainbow Dash’s thoughts weren’t usually a mystery at all!

But Rainbow Dash didn’t have any detailed explanation ready for her. “Eh, it’s got its points, I guess,” she said, still staring at Fluttershy. Pinkie wasn’t sure she’d turned her head once since showing up.

“Uh… yeah, Fluttershy sure is something, isn’t she?” There! There was something that everyone with a functioning libido could agree on, right? That was sure to make them best friends again! Dashie would laugh and say something suitably good-natured, something like…

“Huh? Oh, sure, probably.”

Awwwwwwrrrrrrrghhhh. Pinkie bit her lip in frustration. Why?! What was going on?! But the trouble was she didn’t want to ask Dashie directly, not really, not with Sweet Leaf now pissed at her too, she didn’t need any more problems! Because what if Dashie secretly hated her guts now (???WHY???) and was just trying to play nice because TP was there too and she didn’t want to make a scene and and and and aaaaaaaaaaaaaah? This was all so weird!

But TP was definitely her friend, and moreover Pinkie was really tired of feeling confused and frustrated instead of being her natural happy partygirl self, so she put on a bright smile and said “Hi TP! You’re topless!”

“Hey! Yeah, I… wasn’t planning on this? But when all these people showed up and I was fully dressed, I felt really out of place. And if I’m in charge of School Spirit, maybe that’s supposed to be more than just a name, you know? That’s what I’m telling myself.”

Pinkie shrugged. “Works for me! Also I’m carefully looking at Fluttershy getting fucked instead of looking at you, so you don’t need to feel too embarrassed!”

TP barked a laugh, and Pinkie smiled at her already sounding less nervous. “I did notice. Thanks, Pinkie, I love you.”

“Even though you’ve got great tits!”

“…thanks, Pinkie. I like yours too, uh, if we’re being honest.”

Rainbow Dash groaned audibly, and both girls turned to look at her, worried. She made an exaggerated gesture of disgust, rolled her eyes, and walked off down the hall, apparently no longer entranced by Fluttershy’s ongoing efforts to hide every cock in the world from visibility.

Pinkie reached out a hand, genuinely unsure whether she should follow her oldest schoolfriend. “Dashie…?”

“I’ll catch you guys later,” said Dashie, and disappeared as her wings lifted her into the air.

Several seconds passed before Pinkie felt TP’s comforting hand on her shoulder and promptly collapsed into her friend’s embrace. TP did an admirable job of catching her, her sports star upper body strength presumably compensating for Pinkie’s weight, and she petted Pinkie’s head for a couple of gentle, silent minutes.

“Pinkie Pie? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m fine, whatever.” Pinkie groaned and pushed herself back up to her feet, then grabbed TP’s hand and put it back on her head to indicate the petting had felt really nice and she should keep doing it. TP obliged. “It’s just…” Pinkie waved a hand helplessly. “I don’t get her, you know? And, like, I used to? Really easily? But lately there’s something bothering her, but she doesn’t seem pissed at me like some girls are, but she’s not acting like my great friend either? And that’s weird? And I kinda don’t want to ask her about it because then what if she is mad at me too and that’s just too many people?”

TP made some tender clucking noises and petted her some more, and Pinkie purred, already feeling a bit better. “I don’t think she’s mad at you,” TP said, sounding like she was choosing each word carefully.

“Nuh-uh?”

“No. She’s… aah, I’m sorry, Pinkie. So, RD and I hang out a lot, and sometimes we talk about you, and she has said some things that are probably the reasons she’s acting like this. But I’m not sure that I should tell you if she hasn’t.” TP sighed. “Sorry,” she said again, a little uselessly.

“Oh, great!” Pinkie stuck out her tongue, knowing she should be grateful to TP for telling her that much but still feeling frustrated nonetheless. “That’s like exactly what Fluttershy told me about Sweet Leaf and Applejack too, and now hey, both those girls hate me! Am I like the only girl in this whole school who isn’t keeping any secrets?”

TP forced a laugh. “Now, now! What about your secret of how to throw the best parties in the world?”

“I’m teaching you those, remember?” The outrageous flattery did make Pinkie feel a little better, but at the same time she was kind of on a roll with her venting. “Because that’s kinda what I do? Because I want everyone to just be happy, instead of super randomly super totally pissed off at me for things I don’t even understand?!”

“I know, I know.” TP leaned in to kiss her quickly on the cheek, and Pinkie felt some warmth spreading out from the spot TP’s lips had made contact. “Wait, so what are you saying’s going on? Is someone else mad at you?”

“Yeah, Sweet Leaf. Last night was kind of a crazy mess after you left! I’ll tell you about it when school’s not about to star—“ The bell rang, proving Pinkie’s last words had been even timelier than she’d thought, and both girls winced and looked at each other.

TP spoke first. “Do you want to skip class? It sounds like you’re going through some rough stuff right now, and I’d be happy to hang out with you and talk it over…”

Pinkie shook her head and put on a grin that she was pleased to discover was at least half genuine. “No, I actually want to know what the teachers are going to say about all this dress code stuff!” That made TP laugh again, and Pinkie’s grin got a little wider. “But thanks! Later, okay?”

“Yeah, later!” TP turned to go but seemed to immediately think better of it. “Okay, so really there are three more things I should tell you before you make your grand escape into laughing at your teachers.”

“That sounds like a lot of things!”

“Heh, the band gets more suggestions than that from me even when they’re doing well. Number one, I really don’t think Rainbow Dash is mad at you; you should be able to talk to her. Number two, if there’s ever anything I can do to help you, just say the word.”

Pinkie raised an eyebrow. “Except casual sex?”

TP turned red again. “Except that.”

“Only kidding, only kidding! And, uh, number three…?”

TP looked down for a moment, then reached forward to take both Pinkie’s hands in her own. Her smile was pure and loving in spite of the blush that still covered her cheeks. “Speaking for a moment with the confidence and leadership that I use in most of my life, when I’m not busy making a fool of myself around you… you don’t actually need to call me up to help you with anything. You’re Pinkie Pie, and if there’s anyone that I believe in, it’s you. Whatever may be going on with you and Sweet Leaf and whoever else, I know you’re going to be yourself and come through this a winner. Okay?”

The sincerity in TP’s voice and expression was such that Pinkie felt she had only two options, to cry or to laugh, so she went with the latter. Behind her she could hear Fluttershy and the others standing up and going about their business, but she didn’t care anymore. “That sounds good!”

TP, inexplicably, glared at her. “I didn’t hear you say okay.”

“Okay! Yes, okay!”

She leaned in closer, the effect only slightly spoiled by her shirt slipping off her shoulder and onto the floor. “You’re going to get through this, okay, private?!”

“Okay!” Pinkie was shouting now, merrily, and TP was matching her in volume.

“You’re going to get through this, because you’re what? What are you, private?!”

“Because I’m a winner!”

“You’ve got that damn right,” said TP, and without warning leant the rest of the way in to kiss Pinkie Pie full on the mouth. Pinkie managed to reciprocate after a few moments of shock, and they spent the next ten or so seconds pressed together, TP’s bare titties nestled against Pinkie’s dress, both their lips hot with desire after everyone they’d been seeing at school that morning.

When at last they pulled away, TP’s expression had transformed from commanding to unreadable. She looked like she was on the verge of saying a fourth thing, thought better of it, and finally knelt down to retrieve her fallen shirt. “Sorry,” she said softly, “sorry, sorry, sorry!” and strode away with superhuman speed.

Pinkie shook her head. Women! That girl had something going on with her, for sure, and Pinkie knew she had to be careful with TP’s feelings, but on the other hand, she was way happier with a world where people’s hang-ups resulted in them making out with Pinkie Pie than one where they gave Pinkie Pie the cold shoulder instead. Really there was no contest.

But before she could figure out anybody’s problems, she did need to get to class.

Pinkie’s first class of the day was with Mrs. Peachbottom, who to everyone’s disappointment seemed completely uninterested in talking anything besides archway design. The only arches that appealed to Pinkie were those made by a girl’s legs, and the only interesting keystones had little slits down the bottom where you could have fun inserting various items, but Mrs. Peachbottom displayed a disappointing lack of telepathy and never so much as mentioned the dress code situation or any of her students’ nudity, let alone tried to tie them into the subject of her lecture. Anyone who hadn’t been at the party last night and hadn’t been told about it one way or the other was probably feeling very confused just then, Pinkie thought absently, without their teacher explaining what was going on.

That tiny point of amusement wasn’t enough to hold her attention, though, and a quick look around the classroom suggested that others were having a similar time caring about archways that morning. They had to be subtle, because they were sitting at desks and all, but Pinkie did spot two couples making out with their shirts either removed or else pulled up around their shoulders, and one boy was getting a blowjob from the boy next to him. Lyra was slumped in the front row and rather appeared to be masturbating, but Mrs. Peachbottom was refusing to notice even that.

Pinkie jumped a little at a whisper from the seat to her left. “Hey.”

Pinkie turned to look at her neighbor, who smiled evilly and waved at her. The girl had orange hair, almost as big and curly as Pinkie’s own, resting atop faded yellow skin and two baby-blue eyes with perfectly cut lashes. She wore a black belly shirt that revealed a pierced navel with a stud in the shape of two masks, one smiling and the other frowning, and her bottom was covered in a blue miniskirt a little shorter than the ones that had been so common up until last night. It was a fair bit of clothing, but Pinkie was pretty sure it was less than the girl normally wore. One way or another, talking to her was probably more interesting than listening to Mrs. Peachbottom. “Hey,” she whispered back.

The girl smiled again, and this time Pinkie noticed her intense lipstick, and once she’d noticed it she had trouble looking away. “You look bored,” said the girl, and Pinkie imagined those brightly colored lips curving around Pinkie’s fingers as beautifully as they had around the girl’s words.

Pinkie risked a glance toward the front of the class, but Mrs. Peachbottom showed no signs of having noticed their quiet conversation. “Yeah,” she said instead, and then, because she seemed to be making the girl do all the work, “I’m Pinkie Pie, by the way!”

“My pleasure,” said the girl, and offered a hand which Pinkie shook happily. “I’m Golden Hazel.”

“Hi!”

“So… this sounds silly, but could I get you to help me with something?”

Pinkie tried her best not to laugh and somehow managed to turn it into an innocent cough. She stared at Golden Hazel with disbelief. “Really? I’m, like, not the best student around, especially not in this class. But I bet we have a tutoring center or something, and—”

“No, I mean…” Golden Hazel bit her lip cutely and crossed her hands in her lap, guiding Pinkie’s gaze to follow them. Perhaps noticing this attention, Golden Hazel pulled her skirt up, revealing an absence of underwear barring the way to her pussy, perfectly shaved save for an elegant wedge-shaped area of hair, which had turned partly pink and shone with an unmistakably familiar wetness.

Pinkie grinned instinctively. “Oooooh! So you want, like, sex help! Right now? In the middle of class?”

Golden Hazel pouted. “You did say you were bored…! And I’m a poor innocent high school girl who’s so worried about showing off my cunt in public, you know!” Yet she didn’t sound worried at all, more like she was deliberately teasing. So was she just acting, or maybe endulging in some sort of fetish, or just putting on a really brave front, or…

“I’m not a virgin or anything!” Golden Hazel said quickly, putting at least some of Pinkie’s questions to rest, “I’ve done it backstage and stuff a lot! But I always wear long dresses to school, and Watermelody recommended you highly, so I thought, oh, if only I could find some pretty girl to fuck me in the morning, I could get through the rest of the day in a shorter skirt without any worries…”

Pinkie, however, had stopped listening partway through, having felt a subtle chill steal through her body. She pulled her eyes upward from Golden Hazel’s pinkening crotch to look the other girl in the eye. “Did you say Watermelody?”

“Um… yes?”

“You’re a drama, like her?”

“Yeah!”

Pinkie nodded solemnly and placed a hand on Golden Hazel’s bare leg, which was met with a nervous tremor but no resistance. “Okay,” she said in her best serious voice, “here’s the deal. I do you here, and in return, we are not friends and don’t do this again. Got it?”

Golden Hazel stared at her. “I… get it, I guess, but why?” She began to pout again before Pinkie could stop her. “Am I not pretty enough for you?!”

“Because I’ve just gotten through a whole thing involving the school’s entire eco kid population, and if I start screwing you and Watermelody too, I figure it’s only a matter of time before I get involved in some big drama kid, uh, drama! Right? And from there it’s just a matter of time until I’m going to have to get busy with every last student in Canterlot High, and while that does sound totally awesome when I put it that way, it’ll also mean having to worry about a whole bunch of people’s personal problems or their secret plans for the school or awful stuff like that and I can’t handle any more of that right now! So you’re super-pretty and I bet you have a great personality and really interesting thoughts and stuff but there’s really nothing I want to do but fuck you, okay?”

Golden Hazel stared at her for a few seconds and then giggled, which was probably a sign of her real personality, but Pinkie didn’t care about that because she was busy developing absolutely no emotional attachment. “That sounds okay!” she said at last. “I wouldn’t want to infect you with any subplots!”

Pinkie beamed. “Yes! Subplots! That’s exactly the word I was looking for.”

“But how are you going to make sure I don’t say anything you don’t want to hear?” asked Golden Hazel, the look in her eyes suggesting she knew the answer full well, and Pinkie didn’t see any reason to buck expectations so she pulled the girl out of her seat and in for a kiss. She tasted like springtime and strawberries, and on some level Pinkie knew she should be tired of the taste of strawberries after so much exposure to her milk, that didn’t in fact seem to be the case. There was the briefest of whimpering sounds from Golden Hazel as she adjusted to the situation, then she pressed herself all against Pinkie’s body and kissed back.

Long yellow arms stole around Pinkie’s neck, pulling her in closer, and Pinkie responded by pushing Golden Hazel’s clothes away to reveal her back and shapely ass to the world. She didn’t quite have a good angle to reach Golden Hazel’s pussy from the way the girl was sitting on her, so she settled for massaging her butt vigorously and running lines with her fingers up under the top of Golden Hazel’s shirt and onto the back of her neck. She was rewarded with a delicious shudder and the appearance of a foreign tongue in her mouth, which she quickly repaid with her own in a sort of exchange student program.

Golden Hazel sucked on Pinkie’s bottom lip, drawing it forward in a strong but not unwelcome section, and Pinkie gasped in happy surprise. That was a trick she didn’t see much of! Maybe the girl was more used to giving blowjobs or something, she certainly had the lipstick for it. Pinkie closed her eyes in happiness, willing to see what her newest partner would do next with her mouth, and drew her hand back down to play with the fat on Golden Hazel’s sides. She was chubby—not unmistakeably huge like Pinkie was, but tall and largely built and generally providing lots of room to hug or pet or to do other things to. Pressed on by a sudden licking of her nose, Pinkie grinned and pushed Golden Hazel’s skirt down until, no longer supported by even the pretense of her hips, it slid the rest of the way down out of Pinkie’s lap and onto the floor. Her butt was really very, very nice, big and round and soft to the touch, smooth in the back as she was in the front, and Pinkie could have fondled it for hours if there hadn’t been so much else to do.

For her part, Golden Hazel had evidently remembered that she had hands too, and Pinkie felt the straps of first her dress and then her magic bra being slipped forcefully off her shoulders. The air of the classroom hit Pinkie’s tits all at once as they bounced joyously free of their containers, at least for a moment, then Golden Hazel’s pink mouth closed over Pinkie’s right nipple and all the breast surface surrounding it besides. Strawberry milk leapt from Pinkie’s jugs to Golden Hazel’s mouth and cheek, and the two girls moaned in unison.

Experience from blowjobs or no, Golden Hazel was doing an excellent job making love to Pinkie’s traffic stoppers, and Pinkie was moved to shortcut her own detour and start some pothole filling and safety cone inspection, tongue inspiring tang. As a strawberry-infused mouth moved at improbable speeds to assault Pinkie’s nutrimatic drinks dispenser, Pinkie brought her attention around to Golden Hazel’s front, caressing her breasts and venturing two instantly-soaked fingers between her legs while keeping the rest in reserve to tease Golden Hazel’s clit and lips as she saw fit.

The experience of walking around the school that morning, surrounded by naked or half-naked nubile young bodies, to say nothing of all the foreplay they’d already been engaging in, had clearly made Golden Hazel already as wet as Pinkie felt. Strawberry milk was streaming down her body from Pinkie’s unlicked tit, and Pinkie smeared it all across Golden Hazel’s hefty heifers and into the recesses of her recess. The space between the girl’s thighs felt like a milky hot tub, one Pinkie could have happily relaxed in for some time, except relaxation really wasn’t the point at all.

Fine teeth brushed along the length of Pinkie’s nipple, and she only just stifled a screech, knowing they had to make sure not to disrupt the lesson. Oh, but that had felt good! Her breasts trembled in anticipation of their coming eruption, and she fingered Golden Hazel faster, willing her to match Pinkie’s pace as they hurdled, barely physically separated from one another, toward climax. Golden Hazel accepted the challenge and pulled her mouth back and up again, fixing Pinkie in another kiss far hotter and fiercer than the last, and she filled her hands with Pinkie’s blushing bombs and their rigid liquid fuses, matching Pinkie’s massages of her own boobs, and the two curly-haired girls groaned and squealed and kissed and filled their hands with each other’s luscious breasts until there was no time left to play. Pinkie felt Golden Hazel’s orgasm coming only a second before it began, and opted to leave her hand where it was; a wave of cum gushed past her fingers, still hard at work bringing high-octane joy to Golden Hazel’s cuneiform cunt, and that pressure and the convulsions around her were enough to send Pinkie over the edge too, her two towers erupting in fellowship. Milk covered the front of Golden Hazel’s body from neck to knees, seeping down her big uncovered breasts and across the front of her still-shaking crotch, and the two girls smiled weakly at each other and licked their fingers clean of various delicious liquids.

“Feeling better?” Pinkie Pie whispered to her after a few more seconds of recovery.

“Yes, definitely.” Golden Hazel looked wistfully down at herself. “Thank you so much! Ooooooh wow that was fun. Though I think my shirt is ruined from that last milk blast.”

“Oh gosh! Are you going to be okay?”

“I think so? Like I’m already totally covered in questionable fluids, so I’m not going to look much more respectable wearing a belly shirt or not, right?” The issue apparently resolved, she smiled beautifully, polished white teeth shining from behind her somewhat smeared lipstick, and gave Pinkie a heart-flopping wink. “Soooooo… I know you don’t ever want to talk to me ever again and stuff, but can I at least stay in your lap just until the end of class? You’re really comfy.”

Pinkie made a show of rolling her eyes. “Fiiiiiiine, I guess so! But I should warn you I’ve been diagnosed with Nervous Hands Syndrome, and they tend to move around a lot! I can’t be held responsible for my actions, even if I might end up touching you there…”

“Mmmm!”

“Or there…”

“Ooooh, god, yes!”

“Or even, right, there…”

Golden Hazel whimpered in Pinkie’s arms and squirmed happily against her, her lips already descending toward Pinkie’s gigantuan jubblies again. Everything felt right.

A voice yelled “Pinkie Pie!”

Reluctantly Pinkie let her attention grow to include the rest of the world, and quickly blushed at the sight of much of the rest of the students in class watching the two of them with interest. Lyra in particular was still visibly masturbating, but with a more definite object of attention. But Mrs. Peachbottom was still lecturing with what Pinkie guessed had to be deliberate obliviousness, so who had shouted her name…?

In the classroom’s doorway stood Vice Principal Luna, traditionally dressed in a dark blue blazer, silvery undershirt, and very tight black pants. She regarded the scene before her—or scenes, rather, since Pinkie could see some making out still happening elsewhere in the room—impassively, apparently willing to wait for a response rather than making any sort of commentary on the exposure of her student body’s student bodies.

Pinkie, only dimly aware that she was still fingering Golden Harvest and having her boobs licked, smiled uncertainly. “Um, yes, Vice Principal?”

“I bear a message from my sister, who would see you in her office forthwith.” Pinkie whispered a quick question to Golden Hazel, who explained that forthwith meant immediately. “You need not wait until your class is concluded.”

Oboi. That sounded like she was in trouble for… something. She wasn’t sure what exactly, but there was sure to be something she had done recently that hadn’t been completely kosher. Pinkie sighed and got to her feet, carefully pulling her bra and dress back up over her still-dripping tits. At least Mrs. Peachbottom’s other students would probably be able to concentrate better without so much sex happening in their midst.

“Awww!” Golden Hazel yelled after her as she approached Luna and the doorway. “But we were having fun!”

Pinkie and Luna turned back to look at the naked, pretty, sexy, orange and yellow girl that Pinkie had just pledged never to talk to again. She pouted cutely and pushed her boobs together and Pinkie felt a familiar stirring in her loins. Next to her, Luna thoughtfully licked her lips.

“Students unhappy with my sister’s order are invited to see me in my office to discuss it,” their Vice Principal said, and Golden Hazel visibly brightened. “After class, of course.”

“Awww.”

Luna walked away, and Pinkie watched mournfully after her. That office visit sounded like a lot more fun than whatever she was in for. Eating out, not chewing out. Luna’s invitation had clearly been meant for Golden Hazel, but maybe Pinkie could pretend not to have realized that later and sneak in on her own…?

Her thoughts were interrupted by something soft hitting her in the head. Pinkie blinked and reached up to discover a blue miniskirt that she remembered removing from Golden Hazel just a few minutes earlier. She looked back into the classroom.

Golden Hazel winked at her. “A souvenir! Nay, a trophy!”

Pinkie Pie glared.

Golden Hazel blew her a kiss.

Pinkie Pie sighed, kept the miniskirt, and went to see what Principal Celestia wanted with her.

Author's Notes:

This is a short chapter, but I decided all this stuff is sufficiently distinct from the more plot-oriented stuff that will happen in Celestia's office and afterwards that it would be fine to split it up. Besides, this way the story gets updated earlier than it would be otherwise!

Twilight's overly fancy costume is based on her outfit from Friendship Through the Ages, and in turn on her Rockin' Hairstyle doll. All other clothes, what there are of them, are terrifyingly original.

Golden Hazel was not originally part of the story conception at all, but I needed something for Pinkie to do while waiting for Luna to show up, and "something" turned into "someone." Then I found the idea of an intentionally one-time-only sex buddy to be amusing. Then she started acting like she didn't want it to be one-time-only. So who knows what'll end up happening?

Also: You've reached the most recently uploaded chapter of Milkie Pie! Welcome! If you've made it this far and are enjoying yourself, please consider leaving a comment? Getting responses is truly what keeps this story going.