“There was never a night or a problem that could defeat sunrise or hope.”

I just don’t know what went wrong.

Hours of rescue and salvage work turned into days. Sunshine city had been almost completely destroyed by the attack, and yet, survivors were still being pulled from the ruins and rubble. However, the dead of this place weighed on me. Another mark to add to my tally of burden, and another thought to join the thousand others running wild in my mind.

Actually, I knew exactly what went wrong.

I’d been the one constant in other pony’s lives, a beacon that only proved to call down the worst upon those who didn’t ask for it. Hell, I hadn’t asked for any of this, but I was the pony who’d failed to stop it. I can be a better pony, I feel it inside, coursing through my veins. I was made to be the pony to save everypony when it came down to it. So, why haven’t I?

I woke up, I worked, maybe I ate, then I found somewhere to lay my head again and slept. This is what I did, even when my hooves felt sore, or when it started to snow again on the coldest of nights. The others, my friends, were here as well. They tried to speak to me, telling me that all this hadn’t been my fault. Still, I simply worked.

It hadn’t been until today that I’d stopped to take a break. I’d taken a seat on a piece of rubble just outside one of the large fabric tents that had been set up for shelter. Without even thinking about it, I popped a cigarette into my muzzle and lit it with my lighter. The taste of the century and a half old delight hit me right where I needed it too.

For a moment, I felt angry. I felt like it was wrong to enjoy it, after all that I’d done. How could I have sat there and enjoyed myself with how many gave their lives? In response to my thought, my vision flickered and changed over to pink.

“Even heroes need to rest.” Pai spoke up softly, remaining oddly absent from my vision. “Before you refute that, I’d like to remind you that you helped to save most of Chasm, most of Dodge, and even most of Sunshine City.”

“I could have done better.” I tried to put some sort of force into those words. Tried to tell myself that if only I’d been stronger, or faster, that I could have saved more of them. “I’m thankful for your words, Pai, but I won’t take your sympathy.”

“Then will you take mine?” Shadow called out from above. With more grace than a housecat, he flared his wings and floated down the snowy ground. Out of anypony here, he was the last one I’d wanted to see. My problems were my own, and he didn’t deserve to be dragged into them. So, instead of involving him, I just took another drag off of my smoke.

He simply stood there, softly smiling at me and waiting for a reply that I wouldn’t give.

“Look, Storm,” He lowered his voice and walked slowly toward me through the snow. “I know that you think you could have done more, but you’re wrong.” Hesitantly, he reached his hoof out to me. Turning away, I shrugged the gesture off. I couldn’t help but glance up at him when I did, and the look of defeat across his muzzle stung me. It had only been there for a moment before it changed to something that I deserved more than pity.

“Fuck you, Storm.” He snapped at me. Here it came, everything that I deserved delivered to me by the one pony in my life that I’d finally let get close to me. “I’ve seen you give nothing more than your best!” Wait, what? “You don’t get to sit there and feel sorry,” He put his hoof on my shoulder and forcefully spun me around. “not unless you tell me exactly what you could have done differently.”

“I… uh…” Where was the hatred? Why couldn’t he just yell at me like he should? His words were a kindness hidden amongst the anger, and it sent my mind into a spin.

“Yeah, a lot of ponies died here, but there wasn’t anything we could have done differently.” He stepped up toward me, seemingly towering over me as my cigarette teetered on the end of my lips. “I’m all for helping here, Storm, but we can’t stay forever.” With a heavy plop, he sat down in front of me. “There has to be a way forward, some way to catch this asshole off guard so that we can take him down.” With the lightest of touches, he put his forehoof under my chin. “We don’t need strength, or speed, or magic. All we have to do is think.” His soft smile appeared again, cutting through the fog in my mind. “And we can do that together, because that’s how we beat him.”

“You’re right.” I sighed.

“Again with the stubbornness! I can’t…” He froze. “...what?”

“You’re right.” I said again before taking a long drag from my smoke. The perplexed look on his face melted away, slowly turning back to yet another smile. “We won’t get anything done sitting around here.” I spat my smoke into the snow and pushed myself up to my hooves. “One of the thoughts running through my head was something to do with what the elements had told me, that I must return to where I began.”

“Why?” He canted his head in confusion. “Where is it that you’re supposed to go?”

“Sis?” Pai spoke up, finally popping up into my vision. “Does this mean… we can go home?”

“Yes.” I nodded and looked at Shadow. “We’re going back to our Orchard.”

Before we could go, I’d have to tell the others. It didn’t take much asking around to find out where Longbow and Harmony were, and I didn’t doubt that Predious would be with them. What I didn’t expect when I approached their tent, was the voice I heard inside. Opening the flap, I was met with a familiar face.

“Na-uh. I didn’t say nuthin' bout workin' for yah.” Cheap Shot prodded Diesel in the chest. “I’ll work for…” He stopped as I pushed the flap out of my way and stepped inside. “...Storm?” With a raised eyebrow, he looked over me. “Yah look like shit, but it’s good tah see yah. Brought news from Baltimare.”

“It’s been overrun.” Cottage grunted from across the tent. Though he wasn’t somepony I cared to have ever laid eyes on again, at least he’d stuck around to help out after the attack.

But, Baltimare? The news was devastating. For as bad as Sunshine city or Dodge was, these were just small communities. Baltimare even after the war has been a haven for many ponies in southeast equestria. It’s population is no less than a few thousand… including my parents.

“But it ain’t like Dodge,” Harmony Chimed in, pointing a hoof to a table that sat in the middle of the tent. “All them zomponies just came in an walled tha whole damn city off! Nopony on tha outside gets within a hundred yards of the place before gettin’ shot.” She stared at a collection of papers that sat strewn on the table. “Don’t make a lick’a sense tah me.”

“Even Tunneltown is locked down, with da exception of a few sewer tunnels only I know. Strangest thing is, dat dick’s got everypony diggin’ for somethin’.” Cheap Shot continued. “dunno what, but it’s big.”

“Digging?” I asked, a horrible realization running through me. “It’s not in the exclusion zone, is it?” The old military and industry ruins were ghoul territory, and anypony who went to that district was asking to die a slow death by either radiation, or taint.

“Nah,” He shrugged. “Oddly enough, he’s got da whole city diggin ta the bottom of the Arena. Word is he’s lookin’ for some castle lookin’ thing.”

“The Arena?” Shadow asked, even more confused than he’d been minutes ago. “Why do I feel like I already hate the name of this place?”

“It’s where they host the slave auctions.” Longbow retorted as she walked up to the table. In her magic floated over a large, old roll of parchment that she laid down and unfurled. To my surprise, it was a nearly intact pre-war map of Baltimare. Stained yellow with age, the old streets and districts had been redrawn to reflect the more… modern layout of the ruins. “I know it might be a lot to ask, but if you could mark down where some of his forces are, we can start to build a plan of attack. It would be even better if you could get some rangers back inside Baltimare.”

“Look, like I said,” Cheap Shot snorted before looking to me. “Unless she wants it, yah only get two things from me, and dat’s jack an’ shit.”

“It’s alright, Cheap.” I sighed. “We’re all in it together here, and she has a point. The more ponies we have on the inside feeding us intel, the better off we are going to be.”

“Yeah, but dees assholes?” He pointed a hoof around the room, singling out Diesel, Longbow, and Cottage. “Dey’ve never been in’na place like dis. These ponies are kept as slaves, and act as such. Yah ask me, dey’ll stick out in a crowd an be killed within a day for stickin’ dey muzzles out an lookin’ around.”

“He has a point.” Longbow nodded and turned to me. “Sure, maybe rangers aren’t the best choice. Unless you have anypony else you can trust who isn’t otherwise engaged, we don’t have another option.”

Funny thing is I could think of a few ponies who fit that description. “Hey, Cheap. Do you think you could find out where Jack Knife and the others are?”

He looked almost disgusted at the notion. “Really? Yah want dem ta spy for yah?” After a moment, he shrugged. “After what happened ta her sister, Mora probably wouldn’t go for it unless yah paid her. Dat, an far as I can tell, Jack still wants ta see yah dead.”

“I don’t care, make it happen.” I paused. “What happened with Rosina?”

Cheap shot looked at me for a moment before his eyes went wide. “Dat’s right… yah don’t know.” He shook his head, offering a sad look. “Rosina, she didn’t make it out.” I wanted to say that it hit me like a ton of bricks, or that it tore me up to hear that. But, after everything I’d been through, there wasn’t anything left inside me to feel for her loss. “Yah went down in da blast, and I made a judgement call ta get yah outta der.”

“It’s fine.” I lied more to make myself move on. “Let’s just make sure she didn’t die in vain, alright?” I reached up and put a hoof on his shoulder. “Whatever it takes, get them in there and find out as much as you can about how they’re set up, and what they’re doing.”

“And what about the prisoners?” Cottage interjected with far more forcefulness than necessary. “I doubt a ruffian like you would be able to get them to fight.”

“Just so happens dat prison breaks an startin’ riots is my specialty.” Cheap Shot spoke proudly, putting his hoof on his chest. “Yah can count on me ta get yah what yah need.” He shot a quick glare at Cottage. “Yah got any more doubts, just ask Storm here if I ain’t qualified for dis. Hell, she’ll probably tag along an show me up like last time.”

I didn’t need to be dragged into a pissing match right now. “I can’t go with you.”

“Yah got someplace better ta be?” He chuckled for a moment. When I didn’t even smirk back, he stopped. “Wait, seriously?”

I looked around the table, to each pony who was waiting on me to say something. I wanted to be here, to be part of this. However, the more that the element’s words sat in my mind, the more I felt compelled to listen to them. As much as it pained me, I couldn’t stay.

“This fight ahead, it’s going to be a hard one.” I spoke without any idea if what I was saying was something I had any right to. “I can’t ask you to carry on without me, but I’m not strong enough to beat Fillius, not yet.” A collective look of doubt was shared by everypony in the room. “I’m sorry I can’t stay, but there is something that could help us win.”

“Storm…” Harmony looked at me with worried eyes. Eyes that she’d only used when she was afraid she’d never see somepony again. “What are Y’all talkin about? Just send somepony else tah git whatever it is.”

“I can’t.” I tried to emphasize it with a stomp of my hoof. When I did, a small ring of blue flame rolled out from under my hoof, making everypony take a step back. “I realize that you’ve all given so much to help me, and followed me this far. But, it’s something only I can retrieve, if it’s even there at all.” I turned to the door. “I want to stay, to plan this fight right beside all of you. But, if whatever it is that I’m supposed to find is back there, is it not worth the chance?” As I looked around, I could see every emotion locked on the faces of all of them. “I… I hope you all can understand.”

“Well I fucking don’t.” Cottage growled. “You’re going to run off from the biggest fight in the wasteland on a chance?” He stomped up to me, his power armor nearly vibrating with pure rage. “Fuck you.” With a stiff prod, his power armored hoof nearly knocked the breath from my lungs. “My father didn’t die to give you a chance. Fruit and the other rangers, didn’t die to give you a fucking chance.” He growled. “If you leave, you better fucking come back with a goddess damned megaspell or some shit.”

“Cottage.” Longbow futilely tried to get his attention. I’d seen the look on his face before, in my dreams. This was the face my friends wore when I’d failed them. “You have to trust her.”

He didn’t break his glare off of me, not for one moment. “Not until she comes back with something, I don’t.” It was at that moment that Shadow forced himself in between the angry Steel Ranger and I.

“Back off.” Shadow grumbled. “She’ll find whatever it is and come back.”

“Just…” Harmony’s voice came across as more meek than I’d ever head. “come back safe, yah hear?” She sat down softly as she looked over at me. “Ah already lost Pallet, an we nearly lost mah brother.” With a light touch, she wiped away the tears that started to form in her eyes. “Ah dun wanna lose anypony else Ah know.”

“I know, I’ll be careful.” Without another word from anypony, I turned and lifted the flap to leave the tent. For a moment, I hesitated. I wanted to stop right then and promise them all that I’d come back with what we’d need to win this fight, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t make a promise like that.

As I walked from the tent, Shadow followed. In silence, we walked through the ruins of the city, past the old park where Harmony’s family were buried and toward the northern exit of town. Just before the door, the heavy thumping of hooves behind me predictably arrose.

“I don’t know where you’re going, but we’re coming too.” Gauge panted through heavy breaths. “You aren’t leaving us behind that easily!”

“No, you all should be helping with the assault.” I barked in annoyance, not even turning to look at them. Even with as bad as Filius was, there was safety in numbers. I didn’t know what waited for me back at the old orchard, and I didn’t want to risk their lives when they could do so much good helping here. “They’ll need all the help they can get.”

“And what about you? Your ass would be grass if we weren’t there to save it.” Tasteless shot back at a whine. “Plus this place is boring. I’m just rotting away sitting around here, I want to get back out there!”

““Honestly, I’d rather be with the main force fighting, but you heard the mare.” Ficha used his finely tuned pension for annoyance to really remind me how much I hated him. “without us you’d be dead ten times over by now.”

“My mom and brother… they can handle it until we get back here.” Gauge’s voice wavered for a moment, and it reminded me exactly why I didn’t want them going. “Besides, you aren’t allowed to die until you kill Filius for what he did to my dad.”

“Your father’s death is on me.” I snapped, clamping my eyes shut. “Just let me go. I alone run the risks.”

Along my side, I felt a warmth press into it. The light touch of a feathered wing wrapping around me made my body shiver with electric sensations. A warm breath caressed my ear, and I had to hold back a whine.

“As I said, I’ll never leave your side. You’ll have to kill me to get rid of me.” Shadow whispered to me, softly pressing himself against me. “You’ve come so far for anypony to abandon you now.”

“Exactly!” Predious spoke up in a surprisingly cheery tone. ““It’d be stupid of us to not go all the way with you.” He stepped up from behind me, walking along my side. A light aura of magic enveloped Shadow’s wing and lifted it up, revealing Pred’s smiling muzzle on the other side of it. “Like it or not, you aren’t getting rid of us that easily.”

“I can’t ask any of you to do this…” I stuttered. Their dedication shouldn’t have surprised me. I should have known that they had more invested in this battle than I did, but I’ve been blinded by sadness and regret. “you’ve already gone through so much because of me.”

“Nonsense.” Ficha spit at me. “We’ve lost everything because of him.” The irritating twinge in his voice dropped off just like that. For once since I’d met him, Ficha sounded completely serious when he spoke. “And for that, I’m sure we’d all like to see that the dear necromancer pays for it dearly. Painfully, if at all possible.”

“Damn straight.” Tasteless stomped her hoof in agreement. “So what are we waiting for? An embroidered invitation?” With more force than needed, she pushed herself between Shadow and I. Gauge must have spent all week getting Tasteless’s augments all fixed up from the orchard, because they shined like they were brand new. “Let’s fucking get this revenge train rolling, ladies!”

With a quick spin, she bucked at the sheet metal entrance. A horrific shearing sound filled the air and made everypony but the brutish cyberghoul cringe. In almost comical fashion, the entire burnt and rusted north entrance tilted back and collapsed into the snow with a heavy whump.

As we all sat in an awkward silence, Tasteless raised her hoof to say something. She hesitated for a moment, then just shrugged and turned around. Maybe nothing needed to be said. For now, I could sit back and trust that my friends would be there for me, even if I objected to it. My parents always told me that actions spoke louder than words.

To me, the actions of my friends have said more than any words could ever hope to convey.

The walk back to the Ditzy’s skycart felt cold and lifeless. In the wake of Filius’s attacks, and the flood of refugees, even the raiders and monsters here had moved out. Manehattan had probably never been so quiet in the time since it had been built. Even so, part of me felt like it wasn’t a bad thing. It’s not that the city felt dead, but more asleep. To me, it feels like at any moment, with a single spark, the city could come roaring back to life.

Sure, what Filius had done was bad. However, just these last few days I’ve seen Steel Rangers working with vagrants and refugees, who in turn were working beside the well off merchants. Even the soft snow that fell couldn’t dampen their hopes of finding more survivors. It was exactly that hope that I could feel inside, pulsing through me. Until now, I’d felt like there was a hole in my life, like something was missing. I get it now, I get who exactly it is that I’m fighting for.

“That’s right!” Gauge gasped, knocking me out of my thoughts as we approached the corner we’d left the skycart at. Looking ahead, a familiar wall-eyed pegasus sat in the snow at the corner. She wasn’t looking at us, but watching as Pendergrass and Finn rolled around in the snow next to Short Staff. As she trotted ahead, Gauge’s magic flipped open her saddlebags and pulled out an old, mostly full plastic bag.

“Oh, hey.” Short Staff called out with a wave of his hoof. “Come to say hello?”

“Not exactly…” I tried to say, but felt my words trail off as I watched Finn roll about with Pender. For just a moment, Pendergrass's gaze caught my own, and I could see the pain he felt. As quickly as he’d glanced at me, he looked away, focusing on all he had left in the world. The cold shoulder from him hurt, but it was a harsh punishment that I rightfully deserved. “Ditzy, I hate to ask this of you, but would you mind if we borrowed your skycart?”

“We have to make a run out to ponyville.” Predious stepped in. He cast a supportive glance to me, wearing a forced smile as he continued. “It shouldn’t take too long if we fly, and as you know, time is of the essence.”

Ditzy looked over at the others for a moment. From the corner of my vision, the bag that Gauge held in her magic floated forward. The old mare gave a single sniff before her attention was pulled to the small bag.

“Harmony and my mother wanted to give you these. For all of the work you’ve done to help.” Gauge smiled as she opened the bag. “I was told they were blueberry, and the first of many batches to come.”

The smile that came across Ditzy’s muzzle was one of pure happiness, and something I hadn’t seen on a pony’s muzzle since Auntie Pinkie. She pointed to the skycart with her hoof and gave a nod.

“Thank you.” I forced myself to say, only managing a meager whisper.

Without much fanfare or words, the others boarded the skycart. Shadow had once again hooked himself into the harness. I on the other hoof, simply stood there, watching as Finn carried on without his brother and father there with him. The sight hurt, but just like with Cottage, it just meant that I needed to come back with something from home. Their sacrifice needed to mean something.

As I finally turned to board, Ditzy’s hoof reached out and stopped me. In her muzzle, she held the chalkboard that she used to speak. On it, written out in, were the words ’Be careful’. I didn’t know what dangers may lay ahead, but I won’t be stopped until we found something to help finish this fight. With a nod, I gave her a soft and genuine smile.

Very quickly, I found her hooves around me. Without warning, I was pulled into a very tight and extremely squishy hug. I gave a light sigh as I returned it with my own light pat on her back. With that, I pulled myself out of her embrace, and trotted over into the skycart. Giving one last look at the group before us, I kept the image of it in my mind while I shut the door.

I’d been thought up by ponies as a weapon, raised by my creator as a daughter, and matured in the wasteland as a fighter. If only Daddy could see the mare I am today, I’d hope he’d look at me and understand why I’ve done what I’ve done. The journey of my life was about to come to a head as I went back home, and as we picked up off the ground, I wondered to myself if I was truly ready to become the mare that so many had wanted me to be.