Spike sat on the couch in Private Eye's living room, gazing quietly out the window at the clear, starry night. He had tried to talk to the detective a few times, to convince him to make a public address to the citizens of Ponyville about what had been happening recently. Granted, they agreed that the truth would have to be spun a bit if such a thing were to occur, but Private Eye was still reluctant to do so.

Thanks to his most recent encounter with Pinkie Pie, the young dragon was forced to get in touch with Celestia with Pinkie's demands that Twilight make a nocturnal appearance immediately. Hopefully they were on their way back home with something that could help. Spike suspected this was true, but he hadn't heard from them. Considering how dire the letter sounded, it was probable they were en route.

Still, he couldn't help but miss them. Both Twilight and Celestia had had a hoof in raising him since he was hatched and he didn't want anything to happen to them. For the time though, he considered himself lucky to be under the watchful eye of the detective whose house he was staying at in the meantime.

His thoughts drifted as he looked at the bright, pale moon. It almost looked to be the same shade of white that–

"Spike," Private Eye spoke up as he approached from the kitchen, "they're on their way. If they left right away, they'll be back in a couple days at the most."

"Yeah, I know. It's just..."

The stallion sat beside him and patted him on his scaly back. "Hey, considering what you've been through, you've shown to be remarkably strong."

"Thanks." His soft but heavy sigh was the only sound in the room for a moment. "I miss them. Especially..."

Private Eye waited, but Spike couldn't bring himself to finish. Even though his friends knew about his feelings for a certain lady, it was still too awkward for him to just come out and say it, even now after she was gone. The heartache was written all over his face though.

"I'm sorry, kid."

"Huh?"

The detective frowned sympathetically. "I've seen that look plenty of times in my line of work. She must have been very special."

A single tear fell down his cheek as he looked back at the moon. For a moment, he saw a pair of bright blue eyes looking back at him. He only wished it simply wasn't his imagination.

"She was," he whispered.

Over the years, Private Eye had dealt with numerous mares and colts who had lost somepony close. It was always strictly his job to take down the details and move on to whatever the next step was, depending on the situation. Now, here in his own home, he needed to console a youngster and he just didn't know what to do.

While his guardian was away with the Princess, Spike had fallen under his protection. He had no kids of his own. At first, he was, like with Twilight, a diligent assistant despite the horrific circumstances. Though Private Eye wouldn't admit it and risk complicating things, he had grown fond of the little dragon recently.

Maybe it was when Pinkie came to him the first time a hoofful of nights ago. Maybe it was the other day when he was visibly injured thanks to the maniac's second visit. Whatever the reason was, he wanted to tell Spike that everything would be okay no matter how big a lie it may have been; it was never okay.

The detective slouched back on his seat. "I've been doing some thinking."

"What about?"

"About asking the mayor to set up an emergency meeting. About telling the citizens what's going on...to an extent."

"Do you think she'll go for it?"

It was a simple question with ultimately a simple answer. Still, Private Eye felt that Spike needed to understand exactly why he knew Mayor Mare would let him speak.

"Spike...before I went to Sweet Apple Acres to check out what happened to your friend Applejack, there hadn't been a murder committed in Ponyville in about six or seven months. You know what happened? A stallion had a few too many drinks at this little dive bar on the east end of town. Got into an argument with somepony over...I don't even remember. Took a bottle, smashed it on the counter and went after the guy right in front of a few dozen witnesses. The guy's in jail, wishing he could take it all back.

"But that was just some random pony. Your friends were the Element bearers. If something serious happened in Equestria, Princess Celestia could always count on them to step up to the plate and help protect this world. You know better than just about anypony else what kind of trouble Equestria has dealt with in recent memory."

Shrugging, the detective continued, "But when it comes to regular crimes? Things that I'm used to dealing with on a daily basis? Most of the time, it was things like domestic disturbances, breaking and entering, petty theft. Heck, on slow days, even a lost dog case can show up on my desk.

"Murder just isn't something that happens in Ponyville. It's just a quiet little town. If this were Manehattan or Fillydelphia or some other big city, I'd probably be as busy every day as I have been since Pinkie started...all this.

"I can see the worry and fear on ponies' faces when I walk around this town. No doubt they've seen what the papers have said recently, what with that stuff out in Appleloosa. Ponies have been dying left and right in increasingly terrifying ways. Like I've said before, if I told anypony the truth, they'd lock me up and throw away the key. I've wanted to tell the my superiors something other than 'I'm working on it', but I hadn't really come up with a good story yet. But ever since I saw what happened to your DJ friend, I've been putting something together that I think may sound believable. I just...I'm sick of seeing this go on anymore, and I'm not going to just sit on the sideline anymore."

He glanced down at the attentive dragon. "You think you have time to write a letter before bed?" Private Eye asked. "It's getting a little late for you, but the mayor is probably still up."

"Yeah, I think I can do that," Spike answered.

The pair got up and trotted inside to Private Eye's workroom. In the middle was a desk, similarly decorated like the one in his office. Along one of the walls were a set of bookshelves, full to the brim of texts containing mostly legal information. As much as he preferred to keep work solely at the office, from time to time he had to bring it home. This was one of those times, and he had been spending an awful lot of it there lately.

Spike dragged one of the two chairs sitting against the wall up to the desk and grabbed a sheet of paper and quill. Private Eye sat across from him and cleared his throat. Making sure to pick his words carefully, he began narrating.

"'Mayor Mare, This is Private Eye. I've been working the cases involving the recent deaths of the Elements of Harmony. I've recently stumbled upon some information that we need the populace to know about right away..."

"Sweetie, come to bed. It's getting late."

Cranky set his toothbrush in its holder and twisted a painful kink out of his neck. Nopony ever said getting old was any fun, but at least he could spend his later years with his lady. That was enough for him.

He headed into the bedroom where Matilda was already laying in bed, waiting patiently for him. She patted the empty space next to her and he happily – albeit slowly – trotted over and curled up under the sheets. Once he was comfortable, Matilda snuggled up beside him and laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes.

He wrapped his forelimb around her and smiled. It was nice not having to worry about laying in bed and chatting away for an hour like some folks probably did with their significant others; aside from reminiscing from time to time, the pair didn't really never felt the need to talk too much. Their company together was all they needed.

He glanced out the window, the night sky catching his eye for a moment. Its numerous stars twinkled in the endless darkness, almost as if they were somehow trying to speak to him. It was rather beautiful tonight, more than most nights. Luna must have been working overtime, he assumed.

Looking across the calm, quiet sky at such hours was always very peaceful for Cranky, and it had helped relax him off to sleep more than once. Tonight, it seemed that it was to be no exception.

But despite how heavy his eyes were starting to get, he shivered. For whatever reason, there seemed to be quite the cold draft in the air, one that chilled him to the bone. Not that that was terribly hard at his age, but this breeze felt odd. He couldn't explain it, but it felt very sudden, like it came out of nowhere despite that it was supposed to be a pleasant temperature outside. At least, that's what the projected weather was supposed to be. Eh, perhaps a pegasus or two got their duties screwed up or something.

As he shook, he heard a soft moan and felt a certain lady's grip tighten around him. Hopefully the fact that he was shaking like a leaf wasn't bothering her. Fortunately, what she mumbled put his concerns to bed.

"Good night, Doodle."

He leaned over and kissed her on her forehead.

"Night, hon."

A few minutes later, Cranky heard a loud banging at the front door, despite having a few walls and a closed bedroom door between them.

Growling in annoyance, he rubbed his eyes and sat up. The bangs came again. What kind of lunatic would be knocking on ponies' doors at this hour?

It took a moment before he came completely to his senses. When he did, he immediately found that Matilda was gone. He called out for her, figuring maybe she heard the obnoxiousness going on outside before he did and simply got up to see what the commotion was. He yelled again.

The loud bangs suddenly erupted from the bedroom door.

Cranky froze and shook again. He held his breath, terrified to make a sound. Finally, he whispered, "W-Who's there? Matilda, is that you?"

The knocks came again, and Cranky ducked under the sheets.

"Who are you? What do you want?!"

No response came. A moment of silence went by, and the donkey slowly peeked out from his hiding place. A silhouette stood on his bed before him, glaring with hard blue eyes.

"Gahhh!"

"Hey, Doodle."

Cranky's eyes came into focus after a moment. He recognized the voice, but upon finally seeing her, he could only stare vacantly. He'd never seen his old friend looking so bizarre. The flat mane, the angry look...this wasn't the same mare he knew.

"Pinkie Pie? What are you doing here? Where's Matilda?"

She patted him not-so-reassuringly on his head with the full weight of a limp limb. "Don't you worry. She's safe for now. How've you been, Doodle?"

Cranky gulped hard. It was one thing dealing with Pinkie when she tried incessantly to be friendly to him but how she was staring at him on his bed was genuinely frightening to the old donkey.

"Uh, I've been alright. I heard about...what happened. I'm so sorry, Pinkie."

The mare smirked at her prey. "I'm sure. Did you enjoy the funeral at least?"

"I...I-I didn't go," he mumbled, shrinking away and averting his gaze. "I heard what happened a couple days after the fact. The funeral had already taken place. I would have gone if I had known when it was, you know this."

"Uh huh. Funny, I would have thought everypony in town would have known almost right away, seeing as how I knew everypony to begin with. Ah, I'm sure it must have been quite the spectacle." She tapped her chin, a wild idea suddenly popping into her head. "I do hope that there was at least some celebration."

"Celebration?"

"Of my life, silly! With all the ponies you must have known over your long life, I would have figured you'd have attended at least a funeral or two," she said as she jabbed her snout into his, all the while grinning wickedly.

"Hey, there's no need to say such a thing–"

"And you know what always goes perfect with a celebration?" Without waiting for answer, the crazy mare stretched and reached under the bed, tossing out a few books, a drum set, a rubber chicken and various other novelties before pulling out what she was searching for: An E-Z Bake oven. She patted its top and gave the timer a twist. "A cake!"

"...A cake?" Cranky asked, growing more confused by the moment.

"You know it! I made this one just for you! It's an extra special recipe that I made in my extra special oven for an extra special friend." The timer suddenly started to count down. "You remember this one, right? It was on my Welcome Wagon when you first came to town, and I finally loaded it up correctly! I can't believe how many times I screwed that up."

"Um...thanks?"

"I just know you're going to love it!"

"Well, that's...very nice of you, Pinkie."

"Uh huh! You wanna know what the secret ingredient is?" she whispered.

"Err, sure, why not?"

She opened the oven door and reached inside. After a second, she yanked out her hoof, exposing the answer, which just happened to be dug into numerous parts of her flesh. "Razor blades!" Pinkie said with a bounce.

Cranky's eyes almost exploded out of his head. "Huh?!"

"Yepperooni! Just for you, friend."

He shot her hoof a panicked glance. then one to the appliance and back to her. His breaths became rapid and uneven, and his heart began to race.

"Eeee, this is so exciting! A few more minutes and we'll be able to celebrate the right way! Though I don't know if I'll be able to attend your funeral since, y'know, I'm kinda dead," Pinkie deadpanned.

The old donkey let out a shriek and tumbled out of his bed, falling hard on his face, before sprinting out of the house as fast as his legs would carry him. Pinkie turned to watch him disappear from sight and bounced happily.

"Oh, a chase! I haven't experienced one in a while! This is gonna be so much fun!"

Cranky ran through the strangely dark, lifeless streets of Ponyville and rounded a corner, coming to a stop behind the Town Hall. He paused to try catch his breath but the sudden sharp pain in his chest wouldn't allow him. Neither did the tap on his shoulder.

"What kind of frosting did you want?" Pinkie asked, holding the oven up.

"Ahhh!"

The maniac giggled gleefully as the screaming donkey raced away into the darkness, the moon being the only light that guided him. He ducked into a nearby alley and slammed his back up against the wall. He flexed his burning joints. He couldn't continue to move like this or he could seriously hurt himself, but he had to get away from his stalker.

If that was at all possible. Memories of his first encounter with the insane pink pony flashed through his mind as he looked over his surroundings. Oh Celestia, what was he supposed to do?! He couldn't escape her before!

Another terrible pain stabbed at his chest and he winced through his teeth. He glanced down at his heart and his levels of panic shot up tenfold. As his chest tightened up, one trickle of sweat after another began to cascade down his forehead.

"Y'know–" a voice suddenly spoke up from beside him. He spun around to find Pinkamena standing there with her oven balanced perfectly on her back, facing him. "–this all feels sooooo...familiar."

Nearly jumping out of his skin, Cranky tripped and staggered out of his hiding spot. But he was only able to take a few steps before his chest clenched up harder than ever, making him fall to the ground, barely able to breath. The pink pony crept out of the shadow and into view, a large, hideous smile never leaving her face. With a flick of her rump, the oven landed hard on the ground, aimed directly at him.

Desperate and scared, he reached out to her with tears in his eyes. He didn't want to face it but the inevitable was quickly catching up with him with every labored breath. If only he hadn't run so hard and so fast.

"Pink...Pinkie...wh......w-why?" he barely could whisper.

As his pain visibly escalated, Pinkie's eerie grin slowly turned into an irritated snarl.

"You're kidding. Tell me you're kidding!" she hollered, irate as she watched his eyes roll into the back of his head.

After a moment of convulsions, his forelimb fell onto the ground and his body went limp. His last breath left his lungs, and his body slowly faded away, leaving the furious mare alone in her world. A few seconds later, the timer dinged and splattered a wad of cake batter, filled with her secret ingredient, onto the spot where her target just laid.

"Oh, come on!"