Spectrum's Truth. Chapter Three.

It was roughly two years into my stay with Vinyl. I really hadn’t planned on staying there. How I could I have? Still, it was the happiest time of my life. Vinyl and I became best friends, extremely close. We shared everything with each other. Talents, secrets, I even told her about my past. And she understood…I had learned a lot about her, too. She loved music. More than loved, in fact. She was practically a musical genius. She had written at least 20 songs within my first month there. Seeing her happy, after all she had done for me, it was amazing. Her parents understood my situation, though I had never told them. I had to assume that Vinyl had told them, or they had guessed from my look before staying there. Vinyl and I had even started referring to one another as ‘cousin’. She was more family to me than my real family was, after all.

I had started going to school again. It wasn’t an art school, like before. It was a normal school that taught everything, so you’d be prepared for anything. Needless to say, I didn’t do well the first few months, as I had never even heard of math, or sciences. Still, with Vinyl’s, her parents, and the teachers help, I caught up. I even started making friends again! There was really only one for the first year. She was very classy, and musically inclined, like Vinyl. And this…this is where things started to get ugly…

The friends’ name was…Octavia. After being friends with her for a few months, I introduced her to Vinyl. It was only proper that my friends should know each other, right? When I first became friends with Octavia, she was a humble person. She was kind, caring, and loved to help others. But that changed with time…She played classical music. And she played it on the streets. Her talent was practically wasted. ‘Famous’ was the word that sat in her mind, slowly corrupting her…she had been changing…Odds are I could have stopped it…if I had noticed. She dreamed of Canterlot. And I supported her. She dreamed of playing music with some of the top musicians in Equestria. I supported that. She was my friend, and she had a dream, something to look forward to. That’s all I thought it was. Even with her being changed like this, I was still happy. I was oblivious to her changing, after all. But after a little bit, Octavia and I started hanging out less. Why? She was always with Vinyl…And Vinyl was always with her…I was alone again…being reminded about my childhood…I hated it. I hated a lot of things, but every time I was alone, I would be on the verge of tearing up. I held it in though, with the thought of ‘If they’re happy, I should be, too.’ But eventually that was reworded….back into ‘The less for me, the more for them.’

I felt abandoned…by my own family, no less. I was slowly reverting back to my old self…my grades were slipping…me and Vinyl started fighting whenever we WERE with each other. At first, we both said it was due to ‘artistic differences,’ but we both knew, somewhere in our minds, it was because we were harboring a small bit of….resentment…toward each other. But why shouldn’t I? Octavia was my friend first! It wasn’t fair that they both leave me behind, in the dirt! Eventually, our fighting became extreme. I hated her. I hated fighting with her. I loved her. I loved fighting with her. I had no idea what I was supposed to do…No pony would make anything clear…my future was shrouded again, and I had no idea what I was even alive for…then it hit me…all I was doing….was fighting…I was a true, absolute burden. I gave no pony happiness, only hate. I hated myself now…It was Sapling all over again. I was leeching their life away to fuel my own, a worthless one, no less.

After a long time of just putting up with this, I went to a park in the area, sat up in a tree, and just thought…I thought about…well…everything…I had to make a decision. A big one. And I did…I was going to have to leave…I couldn’t stay there….I was a bother to them, and they knew it too…And I couldn’t stand to see them angry….I love them, and I always will…but I wasn’t going to make the same mistake…they gave me a home, and I was going to thank them…

When I returned to the house, I was greeted with anger…it was expected….it was normal…

‘Spectrum!’ Vinyl screamed…

‘Where the hell have you been? You have no clue how worried I was!’

She said it so angrily….I guess that’s rough love…

‘………..’

‘What? Nothing to say!? Come on, where have you been hiding?’

‘………..’

I think my silence, my half closed eyes, my head hanging low…I think this was the first time she saw me as the person she had found in the street….her tone changed…into a look of sadness and pity, mixed with her rage…

‘….what? What….what’s wrong….? Why are you crying?’

I was crying. I didn’t even realize until she said that. I just slowly walked over to the staircase, went into my room, and started writing. I had locked the door, and was silent. Both Vinyl and her parents tried to talk to me, but they all gave up after around fifteen minutes of sitting outside of the door, trying to talk …I was writing notes. I had written around twenty when I was done, each one for some pony specific. After my thinking session, I had realized what had happened to everybody. My notes to Octavia and Vinyl were the longest, but I had written notes for other friends, teachers, and others I knew. My note to Octavia….it was more of a warning…I had written about how she had changed, in hopes I could change her back, but it was too late, and I knew it. I had finished her note with the line, ‘You’ll regret every decision…’ Such a simple line was powerful…it was astounding…My note to Vinyl took about three whole pages. She deserved a good life, and I was taking away from her chances of such…And now she pitied me again. I hated it. I hated me. The world’s color was drifting away…slowly draining itself while I was writing my farewells and thanks. When I had finished everything, it was night. Far into the night. Vinyl and her parents were asleep. I walked over to the door, unlocked it, and arranged everything on my bed for them to find. I encased the notes in envelopes, with a name written on each one.

          After I arranged it all, I opened my window, and jumped out. It was a hard fall, but I could take it. After I got up from my landing I simply walked away. The notes were theirs to find. I had stuff with me this time. I had several canvas, brushes, paints, pencils, and a little bit of food. This time I wasn’t going on the streets, stealing. I was grown now. I could take care of myself. I had decided I could live as a traveling artist, stopping by a town, selling a few paintings, and then going to a new town. I was miserable again, but not as much as before. I had done something good by leaving them. They deserved better than me…

After another year or two…I lost track of it really…I had stumbled into a new town. I was doing decent. I had stopped by hundreds of towns, cities, and villages alike. I was….thriving…I was alive at least…I had made countless friends in my travels, but I always ended up leaving them behind. Painting was difficult for me now. I wasn’t even aware of what I was painting. All I knew was that people liked it. I didn’t know why. Every color was grey, and blank. The canvas stayed the same no matter what would do to it. This town had something different about it, however. Something that separated it from all the rest. It was evening. I was sitting on top of a hill, trying to finish a painting, when a fairly young colt wandered over to me.

‘That’s a very nice painting!’

I had jumped at his voice, I hadn’t even noticed him. Taking everything in, I saw that he had a blue coat with a brown mane. He was very handsome, but I didn’t think much of him. We talked for a while, about art, and about many other things. Talking to him was a nice break, but I needed to get back to painting before the sun went down.

‘It’s been nice talking…umm…’

‘Alias.’

‘Alias…but I have to get back to painting. My name’s Spectrum, by the way.’

I didn’t know why I told him my name. I didn’t want to get too close. It would only make leaving more difficult for everyone.

‘Well, Spectrum, I’ll see you later then.’

‘…………’

I’ll see you later…this is exactly what I didn’t want. I was planning on leaving the next week, but something was on my mind, that I couldn’t shake. Every night I told myself, ‘I need to leave’ but I never would. My mind was wrapped around Alias. After staying three weeks passed when I was meant to leave, I decided to visit Alias. I needed to get him off my mind, and I thought talking with him would be a good way to get over it. The moment he opened his door, however, I panicked. I needed to think of something. I ended up remembering a type of flower in Everfree forest that was meant to be beautiful. I used this, and told him I needed an escort to get there to paint it. Events happened, and in the end, he was practically a hero. I’ll spare you the details from me, he wrote about our adventure himself. In the end he was on my mind even more so than before. I had made a decision, since no matter how hard I tried to leave, I couldn’t, I would stay. This was my new home….Ponyville….

That’s where I’m currently living. Alias introduced me to even more friends. Blacklite, Gemini, Coleus, slowly but surely, color returned to me. My life was picking up again, and this time, I saw no shadow of parting with my newfound happiness. This is my life. And I’m happy to say so…Though…My past will always haunt me…I know my place now. And I’ll continue living. And I’ll never forget…