Fubar.

Grandma had told me that during the war, they’d thrown that term around a lot. I’d never really had any call for the word, and I had no idea what it actually meant. Grandma only used it when the situation was fucked up beyond all recognition, at least, that’s what she'd always told me.

Wait...

“Fucking heat’s messing with my head.” I spoke out to nopony as I kept my back pressed against the marginally cooler half of the metallic cylinder I was locked inside. The boilers that ran the power here must have been run on something other than coal, because there hadn’t been anypony shoveling it, and it was pitch black down here. The air was hotter than a summers day, and I could feel my coat as it tried to mat up from the sweat. I knew at this rate, I’d die of dehydration before that happened, but I tried to keep focus on the one thing I still had..

My one blessing had been that they didn’t blindfolded me on the way down here. I was still able to retrace the steps to get topside in my head, the only thing I lacked was the means to leave this new cell. That was something that wouldn’t have been an issue if my magic didn’t fucking crap out on me yet again. I slammed my hoof against the metal wall in anger, jerking my leg back when it burned against the heated surface. After this, I swore I’d never complain about a hot mailbox again.

The only thing I had to do was sit here and wait. Either until I’d figure a way out, or until the dickbag upstairs decided that I’d cooked enough. Without a reliable way to tell time, I’d lost track of how long I’d spent in here. I knew I made it a good half hour before the heat really got to me, but… fuck, that could have been hours ago for all I knew. For always having done so well out in the wasteland, I’d really started to regret not drinking more before they stuck me in here. I did my best to keep curled up against the wall, which was by no means comfortable in this heat, but this way I might avoid going deeper into heat exhaustion. It wasn’t until I’d heard a knock emit against the other side of the metal that I shot straight back up.

“Hello? Is somepony there?” I called out, hopeful deep down that Sandy would answer.

“Hey hun, it’s Novocain.” Her voice was heavily muffled through the metal walls, but it was infact her voice. “Small world, huh.”

“But, I watched you die.” I had my ear pinned against the wall to hear better. I must have lost my mind to think that she’d be down here with me.

“There were some wandering traders who showed up after you left, they saved me.” She knocked against the wall again with a pair of taps. “Nope, you aint getting rid of me that easily.” Giving the weakest of laughs, she’d proved she was alive. I wasn’t alone down here, and I may have still owed her a ton of caps, but I wasn’t alone!

“Ah, well, I’m glad you’re alive.” I offered back and gave my own hoof tap back. “Two minds are better than one for breaking out. I’ve got more important shit to do than rot away in this sauna.”

“I hear that, but it’s doing wonders for my weight. I’m just sweating off the pounds in here.” Her own joyous demeanor swapped as I laid there for a minute completely focused on her voice. “Did you make it to my sons? Do they know?”

“I… uh…” Shit. It’d completely slipped my mind when I’d gone home, and I hadn’t exactly had the time to find them. Though, had I done it, I probably wouldn’t ever have been in this mess in the first place. “I couldn’t find them.”

“Honey, lyin’ ain’t your strong suit.” She sassed at me. “I know I tried to charge you a hoof and a leg, but I trusted that after all I did for you, you’d at least have the decency to tell my sons what happened.”

“I’m sorry.” For the first time in forever, I’d meant it. I’d lived my life away from others for so long, focused only the job. It had been so long in fact, that I’d forgotten what it meant to do somepony a favor out of respect. I owed her a debt, and like every adult, I needed to pay it back. “When I go home again, I’ll track them down.” I paused for a moment when an odd realization struck me. “Wait, what are you even doing in here?”

There was a horrendous metallic screech as the wall I had been propped up against swung open. I let out a gasp as the extreme difference in temperature slammed into me like a refreshing wave of water that quickly had my body quaking in chills. The mistake of opening my eyes was a bad one, and I had to to shield myself from the light as I looked up at the dark figure over me. A unicorn behind said figure had cast a light spell that gave off just the dimmest mote of light to let me see a faint outline of the suit that was poised over me.

“Twelve hours in the cooker before you lost it. Not bad, but I’d hoped for more from the family of Storm Rider.” Warden Asshole spoke down to me. “The last ten minutes of incoherent babbling was fun, but I couldn’t let you get too far gone, now could I?”

The meaning behind what he spoke made no sense, but any questions I might have had fled my mind when a bottle of dirty looking water was produced in front of me. Greedily, I snatched it in my hooves and bit down on the lid, almost choking on the lukewarm liquid inside as I had pulled it off. The water was the finest I had tasted in what felt like forever, and the small amount that spilled onto me seemed like pure ecstasy against my dried flesh. Before I knew it, I had drained the bottle and tossed it aside to look for more.

I stopped looking when I turned my head toward the side of my holding cell. A very bland, very blank gray wall flickered in the dim light of the room. The wave of confusion took only a moment to pass, but it’s revelation was undeniable. There was no other cell down here, no sign that Novocain had even been here. She was still dead.

“Now, are you ready to tell me what I want to know? I could make it so worth your while if you’d let me.” The Warden spoke with words as slick as oil. “I don’t want to put you back in again, but I will if you force me to.”

I laughed as well as my weak body could at that. “You won’t kill me.” I did my best to smile up at him past my cracked lips, a spike of joy swam through me when he nodded to one of his lackeys. “Unless you want to end up like Big Shot, you’ll keep me alive.” The hired muscle lifted me up with his hooves and pushed me back into the hot cell. “Just like the cell mate I had, I’m worth far too much for you to let die!”

With a final shove, I’d been sent back against the searing hot wall. I let out a sharp scream as it burned and the door to the outside swung shut, the screech of a latch sliding over the door was all I’d heard as I scrambled for the cooler side of the container. The sounds of shuffling hooves become more distant and reminded me that I was alone, while the darkness that surrounded me again sank back into my mind slowly. My back stung, my limbs fought against the fatigue and my dry lungs strained to pull in the hot air.

Curling up again, I’d figured that I’d just try to wait it out again. I’d lasted twelve hours in here, even though it had felt both shorter, and infinitely longer than that. Only problem was, the longer that I spend down here, the more risk I had that Caltrop would’ve been sent out. I needed a plan, but I decided to just figure it out in time. Because unfortunately in here, time was all I’d had.

More hallucinations plagued me as I waited, the only way I had to get rid of them was to burn myself against the boiler wall. That had only been something I was comfortable with doing to particularly horrid illusions, and had really started to put a toll on my back. I had become so dried out now, I could feel as my heart raced at miles a minute through my veins. I’d failed everypony. Grandma, Mom, Caltrop, hell I’d even failed Brightshine.

After however long it’d been, when the door opened this time, I didn’t care to move. As I’d predicted, my weak body was lifted from the floor and carried out in a unicorn’s levitation. I knew better than to open my eyes this time, but it turned out to be a mistake when I was dropped into a tub of icy water. I nearly drowned when my lungs forced me to breath and my legs flailed myself back to the open air. Thankfully, my detainers gave me a moment to sit and let my heart come back from shock as my body shivered uncontrollably.

“A sauna and a pool? How’s that for luxury accommodations?” Warden Asshole’s voice had become something that I wanted to end in the most violent way possible. I wouldn’t have the chance to now, as a hoof came down and pressed me down below the water again. As thirsty as I had gotten, I tried my best to keep from just guzzling down the water. I held what little breath I had and I struggled to find a way back up. My legs lacked the strength to buck at the tub any more, and my lungs couldn’t deal with the strain, giving out just as the pressure was released on me. Half choking, I flailed my way back into the air, sputtering and coughing as I hung over the cold metal edge.

“So, bitch.” His lackey pulled at my mane with his magic, keeping me closer to the warden than I’d ever wanted to be. “Are you going to give me what the fuck I want, or would you like to extend your stay for another twelve hours?”

“I've never been better, best vacation I've had in years.” I chattered out through my anger. Screw the need to make up stories, this had become something much more. I was going to kill this stallion before I left, and I was going to enjoy every rewarding moment of it.

“That's fantastic news.” He cheerfully remarked, giving a nod back to the cylinder. I tried to sneak a mouthful of water as I was lifted out of the cold tub, but found myself rewarded with a swift kick in the side. The water in my muzzle spilled to the floor, and I was shoved back into the hot tube as what looked to be a record player was set against the wall. “Because you've been enjoying your stay down here so much, I've brought you something that should help to make your time here even more enjoyable. A rare classic from the previous warden’s collection that I hope you’ll enjoy.”

The last thing I could see as the door shut, was the wide smile that stretched across the warden’s muzzle. Angrily, I pushed myself against the door, but it was locked before I hit, and only drew a whine from my tired body. My legs gave out and I slumped back against the door, the haunting tune of the record starting up soon became my only companion.

It all fell away from me. The tough act, the hope to leave. I just couldn’t keep up the illusion that I’d ever get out of here. I had to face the fact that I was going to stay here until I either died, or was picked up for my contract. I felt like crying, but I couldn’t even form tears anymore, so instead I curled myself up again, and tried to force myself to sleep.

The midday sun shined down onto me in all of it’s summer glory, and the sound of the waves lapping at the shore were punctuated with the elated giggles of Rose Shine and her father as they bounded up and down the beach in a game of chase. It was the perfect weekend to get away from the city, more so with the scorching heat wave we’d had all week. That and it was good to see Rose enjoying herself outside of the house for once.

“Mama, Save me!” She shouted, giggling as she ran over and hid behind me. I lifted my oversized sunhat off with a grin as Caltrop trotted up, rolling my eyes as I’d given him a boop on the nose.

“Arg! Ya found my only weakness,” He feigned a wobble and fell over onto me, pressing against me warmly. “A fair maiden whose powerful magics have enslaved my heart.” He pushed his muzzle forward and I leaned in to meet it, planting a soft kiss against his lips. “Now, I am defeated. Blah...” He flopped over an lolled his tongue out.

“You two are the silliest ponies around, you know that?” I sighed as I batted at him with a hoof, suddenly getting a great idea. “But wait, what is this?” I gasped and looked to Rose. “His villainy… it was contagious!” I pushed myself to my hooves slowly, shaking myself with a wide grin. “Run Rose, or Monster Mom is going to get you!”

She screamed in delight and ran back towards the beach. “Help me, Sandy!” She shouted, running for a small sand mound just a short distance away. The small, blue coated dog gave a bark and ran over playfully. At first I hadn’t been sure about getting a dog with how much of a handful Rose had been, but she’d taken to her quite nicely. I just wish she would stop digging up my garden so much.

Sandy ran up to me and put her forepaws up, waving at me in an extremely uncharacteristic way for a four legged creature. “Hi, friend!” She squeaked out.

“What?” I stopped in shock. “But… dog’s can’t talk.”

The illusion that I had been in melted away like the wax of a candle, the images drained away into the cracks and crevices of the imagination they had come out of. A knock came from the darkness beside me, and I decided to use what strength I had to give it a knock back. The record had stopped playing, and the reward I then received for my knock was a sharp shearing noise. After a few excruciating moments, a soft click emit before a beam of light made me cringe.

“There you are, friend!” Sandy’s voice came through the newly cut hole in the cylinder, and I decided to open my eyes just enough that I could look out. The soft glow of a lantern came from somewhere outside of the chamber, and I could see two large pink eyes peer in on me. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you out of there!”

A few grunts on her part and she’d jumped high enough to reach the latch. With what I assumed was little effort on her part, the latch was cut and the door swung open. I flopped out onto the concrete and just laid there for a moment to make sure that this had all been real. The cool air was nice, even if my body hadn’t liked the sudden change. Then I spotted it.

The glistening font of life flowed from the floor and pooled in the back corner. I mustered what strength I could and started to drag myself towards it. I needed that water to get my strength back, then I could go kill that son of a bitch who’d locked me away down here. Smiling, I buried my muzzle into the puddle and inhaled deeply.

“What are you doing?” Sandy’s voice knocked the stupor from my mind again.

My throat spasmed and I coughed up a plume of dirt and concrete into the hole Sandy had clawed in through. My mind had fucking tricked me! There wasn’t any water for me here, and now to top it all off, I couldn’t get the taste of sand and mud off my tongue. After a few more hacks and a heavy dry heave, I had finally gotten most of the dirt out from my system. Then Sandy tapped me on the shoulder.

“Other friend told me to give you this first!” She smiled and carefully presented a water bottle towards me. “Once I told her that I heard music, she said she knew you were where it was.”

I greedily knocked the bottle from her paws, which made one of her claws nick a line through it and the water began to flow out. Instinctively, my magic caught it and brought it to my muzzle, where I ravenously worked to suck out all of the precious liquid. In only a few seconds, I’d drained it dry and had been holding my hooves towards her.

“More.” I gasped, hating the sandpaper feel of my own throat.

“She told me that you needed to meter your intake or you’d get sick.” She took a step around me, walked over to her hole and disappeared into it. With no reason to keep myself up, my legs gave out and dropped me down onto the cool concrete. I heard the grunts and tugs that Sandy gave through her tunnel, and after a few seconds, her head popped out with a rope clenched tightly in her muzzle. She was far stronger than she looked for her size, able to drag my entire loadout who know’s how far through this small tunnel. It was truly an impressive feat for someone so young.

“You did well, Sandy.” Though mud slicked and scuffed, everything made it through. I wore my proudest grin for her and lightly pat her on the head. She returned my praise with her own bright smile, bouncing a bit as I flopped back down. Even though I wouldn’t be at my best, the plan still stood, and somehow I’d have to break both Caltrop and Brightshine out. How I was supposed to do just that was something I hadn’t quite figured out yet.

“So how are we going to free your friends?” Sandy cocked her head as she sat down. “Just tell me what you need me to do and I promise I’ll get it done!”

I’d laughed a bit at that. She may have been the most eager soul in the wasteland to help that I’d ever come across, but I’d have been foolish to think that it would be a good idea to put her in harms way. No one needed to risk more than they already had for this, especially Sandy. Now, if Storm had been here, I’d have known exactly who could help. Then again, maybe I didn’t need her after all. She’d beaten it into me for years, but now her friends might’ve ended up being more useful than anything.

“Sandy, how fast can you dig and how well can you hear?” I groaned out and forced myself to sit upright again. The lightheaded feeling drifted away after a few moments, but I hated knowing it would keep acting up.

“I’m the fastest! Oh, and the best at listening!” Sandy pushed her chest out in a show of pride. As much as that hadn’t been the answer I’d wanted, I couldn’t blame her. Foalish naivete aside, I really did hope she was exactly those things. “I never got lost in any of the tunnels back home!”

“Great. I need you to help me get my gear on because my stupid horn still doesn’t work, and then you have to try and find a certain somepony who can help.” I hooked my hoof onto my bundle of belongings and pulled them closer. “He’s on the first floor, and he’ll be in the only cell that doesn’t sound like anypony’s in it. Can you do that and tell him that I’m on my way to him?”

She nodded happily. “I’ll find your friend for you! But I don’t know why you need my help, you did a thing to the bottle with your thing earlier.” She pointed to my horn and looked puzzled as I scrunched up my muzzle. “But I can still help if you want!”

I’d grabbed that bottle with my magic when it almost fell, hadn’t I? “No, no. Sorry, I’m just a bit out of it is all. Go and find my friend if you can.” I patted her on the head again softly. “If you can’t find him, it’s alright. Just head back to Storm and tell her we need help.” Helping happened to be the least Storm could do after she threw me into this like she did. It’s like she’s purposely tried to get me killed recently, and I’ve gotten really damn tired of it. Family or not, if I’m that big of a disappointment, just shoot me yourself.

Sandy dove back down and disappeared before my magic could even untie the knot on my saddlebags. As I folded the flap open, I paused as something unusual had caught my eye. There was a tear in the lining at the top of the bag, and a scroll of parchment had edged it’s way into sight from inside. I unfurled it as I lifted it in the dim light, finding it to have been some sort of blueprint for something at one point, but it had faded so badly that I could just barely make out the stable-tec logo and a few scattered lines. Flipping it over, I found a mouth written note scrawled across it and tried my best to read it in the low light.

To those who find this letter,

The remains of the pony you find before you is one who deserved the fate that befell him. He had lived a life with no rules, full of debauchery, fraud, theft, and deceit. At one point, he had every ‘thing’ one could want for a life. Caps, sex, and power had once made this stallion somepony to be feared, remembered, but each was lost for the same reason. When there were no ponies left who cared for him, he was always cast out.

This was because of the one thing he could not obtain, something so fundamentally important that he had thought foolishly having the other ‘things’ could provide it for him. He lacked a common bond with somepony to share in it all his rewards. He so longed for companionship, that he attempted to buy it, take it, or steal it when he could. Try as he might, it would never last, and when his desperate actions had so alienated him from those around him, he was alone. His lessons learned too late, he resigned himself to the fate you now see before you. To die exactly as he had gone about living.

Truly alone.

Regretfully,

Caltrop the fool.

I lowered the letter as I remembered that I had taken these bags from him when I patched him up at the shack. He had been telling the truth. He’d gone out there to die, but what I still didn’t get, was why he decided to go into the shack at all. Sure, he said he wanted to take whatever I had, but this note paints a different picture. Maybe I could just let it go. He’s been a decent enough stallion I guess, and he has been the closest thing to a friend I’d ever had.

Not to mention what you’d thought he could be in that hallucination ten minutes ago.

Ignoring the nagging thoughts in my mind, I tucked the suicide note back between the layers in the saddlebag and dug through the contents until I found my canteen. I unscrewed the cap and put it to my lips, sucking down the entire bottles worth before I’d taken another breath. It wasn’t enough, but it would have to do for now. The first step of the plan was that I got my gear on and checked over everything.

There’s nothing quite like the feeling of your combat gear strapped tightly to yourself. From the weight of the guns, to the way it’s straps creaked ever so lightly when you torqued yourself, it was a fantastic feeling… normally. After however long I’d been stuck in this boiler and the burns I’d gotten across my back, it felt like a mountain of razor blades worth of weight. To save myself some pain and discomfort, I left my coat and hat inside the bags, as well as Brightshine’s rifle. I hadn’t magically gained any knowledge on how to use energy weapons, and the light plating in my jacket was going to do jack shit against a close range shotgun blast.

Wearing my six guns and the saddlebags, I double checked everything and tied my mane up into it’s normal bun. It had been far past the time to get this operation moving, and recently I’d decided to tack on an addendum to the plan. After what he’d done to me, all this shit he’d put me through. The warden had to die by my hooves. It’s not business, and I didn’t care what else he’d done, this is just about good, old fashioned revenge. He fucked with the wrong mare, and I was about to take everything he had from him.

Drawing out #2, I kept it levitated close to my head as I made my way toward the stairs. My legs still had a bit of an issue with this whole walking thing, but I pushed myself to climb. Soon I’d be killing my way through this fucked up place, and soon I’d be fixing the mistake I’d made with Caltrop. I reached the top of the stairs and found myself in front of a thin metal door. The dull tones of bored conversation bled through when I put my ear to it, and I checked again to make sure my gun was ready.

Relaxed and calm, I’d pushed the door open slowly. There were two guards sitting on stools in front of me, facing away and watching this intersection of halls completely unaware that I was here. I’d seized the moment, and gave each one a firm double tap from my suppressed pistol. They both had gone down quickly and flopped forward quietly, just like I’d planned. Unbeknownst to me, there had actually been a silent, third guard just around the corner, and he hadn’t taken too kindly to the fact that his friends had just been murdered.

“Alarm!” He screamed out as he brought his beatstick up in his levitation. I’d been faster on my action and had quickly planted a double tap into his head as well. He let out a shrill scream as he flailed at me, not having gone down from the shots. In my anger, I’d let loose the rest of the rounds in the mag, punching hole after hole into his head until finally he’d dropped to the floor in an unmoving heap. Frozen, I listened as faint hooves clopped against the floors trailing away into silence. Like the calm before a storm, silence was the false premise of hope before the prison alarm bells rang out through the complex.

Author's Notes:

I'd like to show my thanks to Kkat, Somber, Mimezinga, No_One, Stonershy, John Colt, Hetnu, Xjuan, Sawyer, Vocal, Bad Pun, Tinker, Retl, and most recently Relyet. You all are truly the most inspiring set of individuals out there.