There is really nothing that makes you rethink what you've done with your life than having a small child giggle and laugh at stupid two century old jokes, while her muzzle is still coated with the bloody meat of your enemies. It’s not bad, just… not what I saw myself doing at this time in my life. Everything had been going so well, or at least I thought it had been. Maybe it wasn’t going as well as I had thought.

Seeing someone like Sandy laughing and having fun with Grandma, while odd, feels good to me. The normally stale air in each breath, the dull always gray sky, and the mottled tones of the mountain around me, all seemed to be just a little more alive than they ever had. That’s the way I felt now, alive, as if I had only just recently awoken from a long slumber. With it came the feelings of happiness, calm, and most profound of all, loneliness.

As merry as our little band was with the addition of Sandy, there was still a hole in it. I screwed up, and now Caltrop is suffering because of that. I made a mistake, and as with every mistake I’ve ever made though, all it will take is work to get it fixed.

The sun was on it’s way down, heading in the same direction as us while we wound through what Grandma said was an old game trail through the steep shale. The sharp jutting rocks rose around us on both sides, giving me the feeling that down was the only way to go. She assured me that this was the way to go, but in following this path for the last hour, I wasn’t so sure that she wasn’t lost.

“Stay here for a second.” Storm held her hoof up for me to stop. “Sandy, be a good pup and go wait over there with PC while I make sure our observation point is clear.”

“What is it?” I slowly advanced towards her, looking ahead of her the best I could to see what she was talking about. There, just through the rocky path before her there was a level dirt platform that stretched off past the mound beside us.

Her hooves kicked up a little dust as she quickly worked her way down the rocks, skidding to a stop as her hooves sank into the still semi muddy ground. She stood there for a moment, unmoving and silent. Sandy climbed up onto my back and peeked her head out along my neck as we both waited to see what was up. Storm cursed softly and shook her head, finally turning to look at us.

“Up ahead on this path was the vantage point I had hoped to use to get an eye on the place. But it looks as if they’ve mined the first ten feet or so. I can barely make out the lights, but they are too close to each other for me to disarm them.” She sat down and hoofed out a cigarette, popping it into her mouth as I tried to think of another way down that didn’t mean hours of backtracking.

“Oh! I can do this!” Sandy screamed into my ear so suddenly that I almost lost my hoofing. In a flash she was off my back and scampering down the slope without the slightest hint of hesitation.

“Sandy, no! Get away from those!” stepping as precisely as I could, I rushed myself to get down from the rocks. My mind fought to remind me that I didn’t need another broken limb from one misstep, but my heart screamed for me to save her. Having slowly made the realization, I shouted to the only pony who could do anything now. “Storm, stop her!” I shouted, but to no avail. Sandy squeaked by Grandma and bound forward into the minefield. As I stepped into the mud, I found myself unable to form the words to yell for Sandy, only tensing up for the inevitable blasts to come.

But they never did.

Sandy had instead stuck one of her digits into the mud and disarmed the mine she stood near. With a grunt, she plunged her face into the mud and started to push herself backwards towards a mortified Storm and I. It wasn’t until she had dragged the mine to my hooves that my sense of dread left me, and I ended up just blankly staring down at her mud coated smile.

“There used to be mines all over the tunnels back home!” Sandy shouted with such glee. “I was always the one who was supposed to push the button on top so we could collect and sell them.”

Storm gave a chuckle and smacked my shoulder before picking up the explosive with her hoof. “Smart of them to know she’s too small and light on her paws to set them off. That actually gives me a really good idea for how to get your guns inside.” Grandma’s revelation struck me hard when I figured out that she wanted to send Sandy burrowing inside after I was in there.

“No, we don’t even know what we’re dealing with yet and you want to put her in danger?” I shook my head and glared at her. “The plan is still the same. I go in and find Caltrop and Brightshine, we use the grenades you hide in the leg and boom, we’re out of there. Sandy can hide somewhere with you where it’s safe.”

“But… I want to help!” Sandy whined.

“It's amazing how the small ones always go unnoticed.” Storm put her hoof to her muzzle as she rambled on. I can always tell when she does because my words never seem to reach her brain. “Reminds me of a pair of fillies I saw up north. Smart, those two. They were hidden so well that the raiders I was hunting basically walked right over them. They got lost just as soon as they could get away unnoticed, but if I hadn't already been looking for places to set up an ambush, I'd have missed them completely.”

“I can do it!” Sandy gave me a stern look and held her claws clenched at her side. “If I don’t have a chance to prove myself, then how will I ever grow up to be strong?”

Clearly on the losing side of this argument, I gave up. “Fine. Still doesn't make me any less worried that it's a lot to put on Sandy.” I don't want innocent blood on my hooves. Even with the radical changes in my life, that was one rule I refuse to break. It’s always about the job and only the job, no pony outside of it needs to die.

In just a few minutes, Sandy had found and disarmed all of the mines, pointing them out for Storm to retrieve for sale elsewhere. I had hoped that Sandy would show me a few to store in my bags, but Storm always got them first. If it weren’t for my fucking horn being so damn useless at the moment, it wouldn’t have been an issue. At fifteen caps a mine, even half of those could pay for enough supplies to last almost a week.

“The overlook is just ahead, so keep your voices down.” Storm spoke as she lead us along the thinning path. In the fading light of day, I was just trying to make sure that my hoofing was sturdy. To my right was a fifty foot vertical rise with jagged points poking out at different heights, some low enough that it was difficult to choose whether to jump over or crawl under them. On my left, was a hundred and fifty foot near vertical drop that I just didn’t want to spend my time focusing on.

“I’ve been in worse places…” I whispered to myself as a light wind licked at my hide. I kept my gaze locked to the dirt just in front of my hooves because every time I looked up, the six inch wide path seemed too narrow. My legs wobbled as I went, but continued to carry me along as I just tried to remind myself of what I was doing this for. You’ll get to him soon enough, and then you can apologize yet again.

As soon as I saw that the cliffside path widened again, I nearly jumped the rest of the way there in one go. My heart pounded in my chest as I wiped the sweat from my brow. Storm only shook her head with a raised eyebrow. The overlook was a fairly large plateau of rock that jut out from the cliff face that directly overlooked what I could just barely make out as a bunch of grey rectangles and squares that made up the prison.

The only light coming from the entire complex was from the rows of high intensity spotlights that beamed down into the wide courtyard between buildings. The freshly repainted red lettering on the side of the largest building explained why they called it summer camp. Only the letters of ‘Summer’ and ‘Tent’ had been repainted in their brilliant white coloration, while the rest of the faded letters sat barely visible at all.

Wasteland naming customs were something that’s never really made sense to me. Just because some pre existing dilapidated sign has a word on it even raiders could make out, doesn’t mean it makes for a good name or even makes sense. Alternatively, just slapping ‘new’ on any old place isn’t much better in my book.

“There we are.” Storm’s calm voice pulled me out of my stupor. She was looking down at the prison by using half of an old pair of binoculars. It was extremely hard to see, but I thought I could make out the shape of a wagon just in front of the entrance gates. “Yep, that’s them. Looks like they're going through the checkpoint.” She sighed. “Damn, we’ll have to wait for the changing of the guards to try our plan.”

“What, why?” I don’t see why we couldn’t just go down in a few minutes and proceed with the plan.

“If any of the traveling guards mentioned you to the prison guards, then our plan won’t work.” Storm sounded more than annoyed with me, and for good reason. I should have thought about that, seeing as it’s been an issue before on a few contracts. “We’ll have to wait for the midnight shift change, then we can get the plan rolling.”

I cocked an eyebrow as I tried to memorize the locations of the buildings. “How do you know the guards will change at midnight?” And why did I suddenly think that sending her in would be a better plan off the bat.

“Because I already broke out of that place a few times already.” She shifted her position on the rock and turned over to look at me.

“What? When?” I’d have think she would have brought this up before. Maybe have given me some pointers already on the layout if anything.

“What does it matter?” She snorted in annoyance. “And before you go complaining that I should go in, they know who I am. They’d rather shoot me on sight than arrest me. No, if I’m turning somepony in, they’ll let me walk away and pay little attention to you.” She scoot herself back from the edge and closed her eyes. “Anyway, we’ve got a few hours to relax and plan. I’m going to get in a quick nap, so you and Sandy might want to get some rest as well, or go over what you need her to bring in.”

I figured that I could use some sleep as well that didn’t constitute as recovering from a major injury, and found a nice spot to shut my eyes. I found it hard to slip into a relaxed state, constantly finding my mind drifting over this weeks events. As hard as I tried, I just couldn’t believe that Ash had set me up because of some petty revenge scheme. So what if Grandma murdered his entire family. They fucking deserved it for what they did to mom!

I felt a lump in my throat form. Then again, with what they did to mom, I’m technically part of their gang. Just the thought of being related to somepony so repulsive made the blood in my veins run cold, and I felt a hefty shiver as it traced all the way up my spine. I did my best to forcefully stuff those thoughts straight down into the part of my brain that gets no sunshine, trying to think of anything but where I came from.

For what seemed like forever, we all had laid on the rock quietly. Storm was snoring softly near the top of the outcropping, and Sandy had curled herself up in the middle. I guess I was the only one with the fear that if I rolled in my sleep I’d wake only a moment before I become a permanent feature to the jagged rock face below. If that wasn’t enough, my brain had convinced itself that I couldn’t sleep knowing that somewhere just down there was my… friend.

It still felt weird to think of him that way. Nopony had ever wedged themselves in my mind like he had, well, at least not in a good way. The only stallions I ever cared for were all found in old magazines for when I had to pass the time. Even then, no stallion today could ever compare to the ones from the old world. And oh how much I wanted to be with one of those studs right now.

Now that it’s crept back into my mind, I do have a bit of time to myself. That and Grandma did say to ‘relax’. I wiped as much of the crud from my forehoof as I could on my jacket and tried to remember the stallion I was going to use in the shower. His flowing mane, crisp apple green eyes, all while the only thing he was wearing was a cowpony hat. I closed my eyes and tried to relax, but I found myself only tense up.

The zaps of electricity played in my ears, and my mind was instantly paralyzed in fear. The moment my hoof touched myself, I gave a gasp, but not one of pleasure. The stallion from the train was in my mind, and all I could do was whine as the scene started to play out again in my head.

“Hey friend, are you awake?” Sandy’s voice squeaked into the night air. The memory shattered and I felt the tears softly drip down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away with shivering hooves, a sense of unease settling into the pit of my stomach.

“Yeah.” I let out a sniffle and curled myself up. “What’s up?”

“Where are the stars?” She asked as she pulled herself up, rubbing at her eyes with a small yawn. Crawling over, she lay down next to me and stared up into the night sky. “The old dogs told us that the stars filled the night sky, and were made of the more brilliant gems than any you could dig up with your bare paws. They even told us a story of how back before we all had to hide underground, there was even a dog that went to them with the help of ponies. He said that if we ever got a chance to look up into the night sky, we'd see her still up there.”

“You mean Laika?” Storm shifted and sat up slowly.

“You know of her?” A gasp left Sandy’s mouth as her tail went crazy, thwapping against my side again and again.

“Yes. I once visited an aerospace museum down south that had a whole section dedicated to her.” Storm let out a hushed groan and got back to her hooves to dust herself off. “Whenever we go back to Baltimare, I’ll be sure to take you there.”

“You really mean it?” Sandy squeaked out louder than I would have liked. If they knew we were up here at all, if they caught us setting up, that was it. We’d never get Caltrop out of there.

“Yeah pup.” She flashed her a smile that glistened in the dim light around us. I really hoped Grandma had another way down than backtracking across that ledge. Storm turned to me and held out her hoof. “Alright PC, choose a gun to have Sandy dig in to you and hoof over the rest of your gear.”

“Sandy, can you grab #5 for me?” I sighed out, not wanting to part with everything now that I just got it back. Sandy just sat there look at at me with a confused look on her face, and I’ll be the first to admit that I was a bit slow on why. “Oh, sorry, it’s the revolver.”

She wiggled herself under me before I could even raise a hoof to make it easier. I felt only a small tug and heard the soft click of the holster opening before she darted from under my coat, revolver in muzzle. Worse than having none of my weapons, I hated the unbalanced feeling I got when one of the was out of place outside of combat.

“What did you do to Bon Appetit!?” Storm growled and glared at the revolver, bringing her eyes up to mine in short order.

“Wait, that's its name?” I felt my muzzle scrunch up at the odd comment. “And a hellhound got to it. You’re lucky it’s still in working condition.” Seriously? ‘Bon Appetit’ is a horrible name for a gun! I wouldn’t even name #1 something that nice and friendly sounding.

She pointed her hoof to me. “One, when you get out of there, I’m going to shoot you again for ruining my gun.” She pointed at Sandy and dropped her scowl too late as Sandy shrank to the ground in fear. Immediately she pointed back at me. “Two, you’re going to describe said hellhound and I’m going to shoot it as well if I ever see it.” She huffed and turned back towards the path we came up on. “Come on, we don’t have much time before the shift change.”

You may think that I’d be used to this much suck by now, but you’d be wrong. Of course we had to backtrack across the dark cliff face of unobservable slipperiness to get to the trail, and of course it was a steeper decline than even the game trail had been higher up. All in all, I only slipped twice and cut up my legs a bit, but fantastically managed to not break any bones.

Did I mention how much I hated walking on shale?

“Alright then.” Storm breathed out her own sigh of relief as we finally reached level ground again. “PC, how’s your horn doing? Back to working order yet?” There was a soft click and light flooded my vision from a small flashlight she had her fetlock wrapped around. I floated my hat off and lifted my hoof up to my horn and rubbed along it’s ribs, saddened by the grove still in it.

“I don’t think it’s working, the groove is still there.” I said softly, freezing as Storm facehoofed. I looked up to my hat as it sat in my aura, confused how my magic worked even though it was still damaged. “Oh, right.”

“The groove will remain forever. The brew you had is just supposed to restore your magic.” She said, motioning for me to give her my things. I quickly wrapped all of my items in my levitation and floated them over, feeling my head pulse from the sudden strain of holding everything at once. I panted and dropped to the dirt as she stuffed the other guns, brighshine’s armor, my hat, and my harness into my in-coat saddlebag. “Gotta love the bigger-on-the-inside spell for packs. I actually think we can just fold this up and have Sandy take it in instead. Sound good?” I could only nod as Sandy ran over to Storm and dropped #5 at her hooves.

“So… now do I give her the war orb you had me protect?” Sandy bounced with excitement, pulling a small glass marble from the pocket on her vest.

“War orb?” I took a step back as I looked at the memory orb she held. I had seen them before, but I’d never dared to use one. I saw how it made ponies drop into a trancelike state, even having used that to my advantage more than a few times to complete a contract. “Woah there, you aren’t seriously expecting me to use that thing, are you?”

Storm blinked. “We don't have any chains or a spare bomb collar to put on you. If you go walking up to the gate of your own volition, they’ll know I’m using you as a way to break somepony out.” She nudged Sandy to walk over to me, and she did so with a smile bigger than needed when threatening to take away all control of my body. “It's either we use the orb, or I actually knock you out. I'm just as happy with beating you senseless instead of shooting you later.”

I didn’t want to lose control again, and the thought of being immobile and defenceless for any period of time honestly scared me. Orbs I’d seen ponies use also never had a consistent time limit to them. Some could last for hours at a time, while others were only a few minutes in length. The last thing was the fact that they all seemed to have an addictive quality to them. Some ponies would get lost in the same orb a few times in a row, and I didn’t want to become some sort of junkie.

“Fine.” I groaned and held my hoof. I didn’t see any other way around this, and breaking an addiction from one use was going to be easier to get over than a split skull. Sandy slowly and carefully held the orb out, dropping it into my hoof. I wrapped my magic around it and pulled it closer. “So how do I…”

What the hell?

The dark world around me morphed and brightened as I came to again. Bright sunlight poured through the windows behind me as I sat at a desk staring at a stack of neatly written out papers. I fought to turn my head to take a look behind me to see why it was so bright, but I couldn’t move. All I did was sit there breathing slowly as my right ear started to annoy me.

Without thinking to do it, I reached up and slid one of the papers from the stack and leaned in to read the next one. It was about that time that I realized that my leg was not my own. This leg was colored in a deep, chocolate colored coat. Now that I think about it, I couldn’t feel my horn either. I panicked, trying to ‘feel’ my body as I breathed. There were no wings, and thankfully there was nothing new in my nethers. It seems that I was trapped in the body of an earth pony mare.

The shock of this quickly faded as I relaxed, quickly being overcome with a sense of boredom. I tried to read along with the pony I was in, but it was all boring jargon about everything from expense reports and material requisitions, to building permits and employee complaints. The fact that anypony could read anything like this for as long as I was forced to was like torture. Maybe this is one of those ‘trapped orbs’ I heard are so dangerous.

For the next forty six and three quarters minutes, I sat and read through the papers. How do I know it was exactly forty six and three quarters minutes? Because I kept checking the clock on the desk over and over, hoping for something different to happen, or for this nightmare to end! Then the buzzer on the desk rang, and an annoyed sounding stallion came over the intercom.

“Mrs. Florentine, as long as it’s on my mind, do you have that report from Nitro yet?”

I reached forward and pushed the talk button down. “Yes sir.”

Oh goddesses, my voice was so nasally and scratchy! Please don’t speak again lady, it’s painful to hear. If you absolutely must, can you maybe get some water or something first to help?

Instead, I was forced up from my chair. Grabbing a set of file folders from the desk and tucking it along my side, I walked to a standing mirror sitting just along side a large wooden door. Staring into it, I could finally see what I looked like. I was an older mare, maybe in her late fifties, early sixties. She had a curly caramel colored mane with a turquoise brooch pinned in it, and sharp green eyes that looked younger than her, but just seemed to gaze sadly back from the mirror. I reached a hoof up and poked it at my ear, pushing something further into it that I assumed was one of the old world hearing aids that were degrading all over the place in Equestria.

She hoofed open the large door and walked into a large office that obviously held her boss. The squat looking stallion sat behind an orderly desk that faced away from the large multi paneled window that let in such bright light. Through it sat the town of Timber, bathed in the golden light of a sunset and positively sparkling with how pristine everything looked.

“Shut the door, won’t you Mrs. Florentine.” The stallion grumbled and put his forehooves on his desk. In an odd way, the way he presented himself reminded me of Big Shot, and instantly I didn’t trust that he was a legitimate business pony. Something was definitely off about him. I turned and shut the door without a word before going up to him and laying the folder on the desk in front of him.

“Sir, Nitro has confirmed the reports that a pack of diamond dogs have moved into the mines. Tomorrow I’ll be scheduling a Ministry of Peace official to come down and negotiate for their eviction.” I said with that horrible voice that I could feel irritated my throat.

“That won’t be necessary.” He waved his hoof dismissively at me as he opened the documents up. “Just order the workers to blast through them. It’s their fault for trespassing.” I knew this guy was fucking up to something!

“What was that Sir?” I took a step back from him. “But… Mr. Honcho, we can't do that, the regulations require that we…”

“Sod the Luna damned regulations!” He shouted with a slam of his hoof. I let out a whimper and stepped back again as he looked positively furious. “We only get paid the bonus if we keep production for the war up, and the regulations only matter if the pack doesn't get killed in accidents while we’re busy mining towards Equestria’s victory!” He sat back in his chair with a sigh and cupped his forehooves together. “Come on Florentine we’ve worked together for the last two years without a problem. It would be a shame that I had to ask the Ministry of Morale to come all the way here because you were on the Stripes side, don’t you think?”

“Ye...yes sir.” I can’t believe this mare is going along with this! How could she? “Just to make sure, you suggest that we keep blasting and deliberately kill the pack?”

“Why not? I did the same thing at the Red Wing operation when they opened, and that mine has seen a huge increase in net product.” His words were so damn slick that I swear I could smell the sleeze dripping off of them. “Besides, if we do well this quarter, I might even find some room in the company coffers to give you a healthy Hearths Warming bonus.” As he finished, there was a soft crackle of static from inside my ear that caught both me and the mare off guard.

“Great work Florentine, that's all we needed to get this son of a bitch.”

In an instant, there was a loud slam from the door to the office, and a whole group of pink armored ponies flooded into the room. Mr. Honcho’s shouts were lost in the sea of shouting that ensued, but they shoved him down against his desk and held him there as another pony walked in.

He was a blue coated unicorn stallion with a wavy white and light blue striped mane. His Pink uniform was adorned with a patch that carried the name Pierce above the silhouette of a balloon and the letters M.o.M. under it. Smiling at the sight of Mr. Honcho squirming, he turned to me and put a hoof on my shoulder.

“The Ministry of Morale is thankful for your cooperation Miss Florentine. Of course we'll need you to come back to headquarters with us so you can provide your testimony, but I assure you that Chief Pinkie will deal with this... traitor to Equestria as soon as possible.” I don’t know why, but his eyes we soft and reassuring as he spoke, and I could swear that I felt something yearning in my loins that I hadn’t felt in a long time in the wasteland.

“You fucking bitch!” Mr. Honcho was a strong buck for as small as we was, managing to break free from the hold of the pony behind him. He bit down on the pistol the guard next to him wore and fired at me. As much as I tried to dodge, I just stood there and felt as the bullet ripped through my throat.

I screamed in pain. I could fucking feel every bit of pain that it caused. I thrashed against my unresponsive body as it slumped to the floor. My heart pounded in my chest, and my breaths came across as gurgling snorts as once again the office became a flurry of activity.

“Shit! Bind his hooves and secure that weapon!” Pierce rushed over to me and put his hooves to my neck as I tried to get past the intense pain. “Somepony get a medic and the memory extractor in here, now!” He shouted as the world slowly grew dimmer, and he started to sound farther away. “It's alright Florentine, you're going to be alright, just stay with me now… you hear me?”

But I was already too far gone. Slowly his face, the sounds around me, and even the pain drifted away, leaving me in an abyss of black and my own thoughts. Florentine had died there that day, and I had just lived through it.

This is exactly why I now know I don’t like Memory orbs.

Author's Notes:

Thanks to Kkat and all the other great Fo:E authors that inspire me!