The thirtieth of August.

Now, I may do a lot of asshole-ish things, but I like to think I am not in any way a villain. So when I have a grin on my face that can only be described as ‘that of a crazed supervillain who just trapped his archnemesis in an inescapable scenario’, please note that it is only a simile and not an actual analysis of the situation.

That being said, as soon as I saw a particular pony being led my way by four guards, I adopted a grin that was like that of a crazed supervillain who just trapped his archnemesis in an inescapable scenario.

It was the pony who had led me on a rage-inducing parkour journey the day before. As False later told me, they had continued to run for no discernable reason even after I stopped chasing them, and they eventually used a door on a roof to enter a building. Once inside, they got cornered and captured by guards rather quickly, and they removed the glove.

For the moment, all I knew was that I had the cause of all my pain and agony in front of me, and I was not going to let this opportunity-

...

...she’s a mare.

And she’s crying.

...son of a changeling. I can’t bring myself to hit a mare as it is, let alone a crying one…

My supervillain grin gave way to a worried frown as I approached her. “Hey...you okay?”

“Sir, please back away from her,” one guard told me.

I looked at him. “Why? Where are you taking her?”

The guard rolled his eyes. “She trespassed on property all across the city and attacked anypony who tried to stop her. She’s going to face serious charges for this. Now don’t get in the...way...”

I think it was right as he started that last sentence that he realized just who he was trying to order around.

“Sorry buddy, but I already gave away the last fuck I had to give. You’ll have to wait until I go to the bank and withdraw some more. I’ll keep you posted on that.” I glared, though in my mind, I was a little surprised at how angry I was. I rarely swear. “Now, let’s try this the other way around...sir, please back away from her.”

He did so. As did the other guards. Wow...I like being intimidating.

“Now, first off, she...” I looked to the mare. “What’s your name, miss?”

She whimpered a bit, clearly still not feeling safe. Not that I can blame her, with Royal Guards all around and a Windigo demanding her name. “Z-Ziploc...”

Ziploc? I glanced at her cutie mark. It was one of those resealable plastic bags; you know, the ones kids put their school lunches in. ...well, hope this doesn’t cause any copyright problems.

For the first time, I finally got a good look at her as well. She was a light orange colour, with several bruises that she likely got either from running or the aforementioned attacks on ponies who got in the way of her running. Her mane was a darker orange and extremely messed up, as was her tail. And, as can be expected from a pony who was running for at least two days, she seemed to be having trouble staying on her hooves without support from the guards.

I turned back to the particular guard who I had been talking to. “Ziploc didn’t trespass or attack ponies of her own free will. The glove was forcing her to do it. And we’re already arresting the glove.” I blinked. “Speaking of the glove...where is it?”

One unicorn guard held it up in a magical aura. “Right here.”

I nodded to my saddlebags. He understood and levitated it in. Gonna have to look at it later...see exactly what it’s from.

“Right. See? All problems have been solved now.”

The guard who originally spoke to me shook his head. “The glove may have influenced her, but-”

“Hey, remember that pony who went carnivore and started eating meat nonstop until he ate himself to death? I still have the article that made him do that.”

“...but you are absolutely right and we’ll be leaving it up to you how she is dealt with.” He nodded to the other guards, and they all hastily trotted away.

False, who had been standing to the side watching this all unfold, came up to me. “I think you’re starting to get a little used to being able to bend authority to your will...”

“Yeah, kinda. But let’s be honest here, I used common sense. You don’t see ponies trying to arrest Princess Luna for doing what she did as Nightmare Moon, right?”

“...I guess not...”

“Exactly.” I turned back to Ziploc. “Are you alright, after all this?”

“I...” She wobbled slightly on her legs. “...I think I need to...lie down...”

False quickly stepped beside her to offer support, helping her stay moderately upright. “Careful there, miss...where do you live?”

“I...I don’t know how to get there from...wherever we are...” She seemed mentally tired in addition to physically.

“False, just take her to one of our hotel rooms. Let her rest for a while before taking her home, okay?”

She nodded, beginning to lead Ziploc to the hotel. The rest of the Winter Solstice was off wandering around the city, so I was now left on my own. Breathing a sigh of relief, I opened up an Alterspace rift and hopped inside.

“Faith’s Glove from - I knew it - Mirror’s Edge. Forces whoever wears it to ‘run’, jumping from building to building in an attempt to escape from whoever’s chasing them - and apparently, they think all figures of authority are chasing them. They also gain the ability to see very easily the places they can jump from and to, as well as the quickest routes around obstacles. Also increases their speed and stamina to levels far beyond anything natural in pony history.”

I finished jotting down my notes and floated the rage-inducing glove away from me after labelling it. “And now it can go rot in Tartarus for all I care.”

“Rather quick to hate on an inanimate object, don’t you think?”

I turned to Celestia, who had apparently walked in while I was writing. “Princess, you have no idea what I’ve been through.”

“I think I can guess.” She sat down. “Don’t worry, though. There aren’t any other articles in Trottingham.”

“Good. I want to get back to Ponyville before my evolution sickness starts up again.” That reminded me of something… “Speaking of evolution...princess?”

“Yes, Arrell?”

“...is there any way to…not evolve?”

She blinked, looking slightly confused. “What do you mean?”

“I...I like being the way I am.” I conjured up an image of a fully-evolved Lord Windigo. “I don’t want to turn into that.”

“You don’t want to change your appearance? You know that’s optional, correct?”

...

...what?

“What?”

“When Windigoes evolve, they can will themselves to stay the same appearance-wise. Their powers will grow stronger, and they may change slightly in how they look, but overall they will stay the same.”

I blinked. “...there’s a B Button after all?”

“You could say that...”

I grinned and hugged her. “Thank you!” I detached quickly, giggling like a madman and practically prancing towards the rift so I could get back to Trottingham.

Yeah, I just hugged Princess Celestia without warning or permission. But guess what?

Alterspace. My rules.