"...I just learned in less than two hours what takes regular surgeons twelve to fifteen years." I blinked. "...I'm scared..."

I grabbed onto Asylum in a hug like a little kid and didn't let go.

...

"Cut! Alright, that's a wrap. Good work everypony!"

Asylum - er, Melted Butter - instantly shoved me off of her and walked off. I plopped onto the floor as the rest of the actors began also trotting off the set. The director trotted over to me as I stood back up.

"Nice work once again, Cobalt," he complimented. "You've definitely been getting a lot better since the first season."

I chuckled before reaching up to my eyes. "Thanks, sir." After a few seconds of the routine removal of contacts, I had gotten rid of the illusion of blank white eyes, and my bright violet eyes became visible. "I still think the whole Windigo thing is overdoing it, though."

M. Night Trotalan, better known as just Trotalan, tilted his head. "How so?"

I scratched at my coat, watching bits of light blue dye crumble off and to the ground. "It would've made a lot more sense to have the human become a pony, don't you think? I know that with the Windigo thing, we can deal with racism and such, but...still, it just makes for some really annoying costumes and makeup. And I doubt the special effects are cheap."

He shrugged. "Maybe, but the show's become a hit, hasn't it?" He put a hoof on my shoulder. "You were the perfect choice for this role. Are you saying you'd back out just because of some coat dye and contact lenses?"

I shook my head. "No no no, I..." I sighed. "Never mind. I'm just gonna go shower. See you later, Mr. Trotalan."

"Hey, Coby!"

I sighed. "Kick, how many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that?"

Kick Snare, the earth pony who was playing Risk, chuckled. "What? It's cute."

"Yeah yeah yeah. Just call me Cobalt, okay? I'm getting tired of your flirting."

"Oh, you'll come around." He flicked me with his tail. "Sis and I are heading out to get lunch. Wanna come along?"

Kick's sister, Wobble, is the actress who plays Nimble. Yes, Nimble's supposed to be male, but the casting directors thought Wobble's audition for Asylum fit Nimble's quiet characterization better, so they cast her anyway. She does a pretty decent job of hiding her true gender onscreen, though of course it means we have to keep Nimble's underside hidden from the cameras with props and positioning.

In response to his question, I shrugged. "I was gonna go meet up with Autumn."

He put on an exaggerated pouting face. "Aw...come on, Coby! We never hang out anymore!"

"We hang out all the time," I retorted.

"On set doesn't count."

"Well, maybe we'd hang out more off set if I didn't have to worry about you asking me out every ten seconds!" I snapped, before taking a breath to compose myself. "I'm with Autumn. I'm engaged to Autumn. I'm sorry to shut you down, but...just stop, okay?"

He looked disappointed, and I almost felt sorry for him. Almost. He sighed. "Right...catch you later then, Cobalt." He started walking away slowly.

"Yeah...later." I stood there for a moment, feeling guilty, before shrugging it off and continuing to look for Autumn.

Autumn Lotus, the mare who played False, was talking with Melted Butter when I found her. Or, more specifically, Butter was talking to her - and it didn't seem like she wanted to be there.

"...and he, like, wants to write a sex scene in a later episode," I heard Butter complaining. "Can you believe that? How could he even think about putting me and...him...in bed together? It's bad enough we have to kiss, am I right?"

"You know I can hear you, right?" I deadpanned. Butter glanced at me and shrugged. "If it really bugs you that much, you can always quit."

"And let this show's ratings plummet?" She laughed haughtily. "I'm too nice for that."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, you're a real Element of Kindness. What would we ever do without you."

"I sense a hint of sarcasm in that question." She harrumphed. "Am I right?"

A grin broke across my face. "Wow, Butter! You learned how to realize when somepony's being sarcastic! What an achievement! It only happens every time you talk to them, after all."

She growled. "I don't have to put up with this." With a huff, she stormed off. I glared after her.

"I hope her character gets killed off," Autumn grumbled.

"Yeah...doubt that'd happen. Maybe have an arc involving plastic surgery so they can get a new actress?" I suggested. "That sounds good in my opinion. Remind me to bring it up with the writers."

She laughed and stepped up beside me. "Glad to be done work for a while?"

I shrugged. "It's enjoyable, but definitely has its irritating aspects." I pointed to my stub of a tail. "Getting that thing trimmed down to an inch every day, and then having that inch taped down? Not fun."

She smirked. "Well, it gives me a good view at least." She nuzzled me, then giggled at my blush. "You're so easy to fluster."

"...yeah." I chuckled, rubbing the back of my neck sheepishly. "Come on, let's just get going before they call off the hiatus. Or Butter comes back...or Kick flirts with me...or something catches on fire."

"You're so negative."

"No, I just hang around a lot of weirdos." I sighed as we began heading off. "All the ponies in this television show are crazy."

Author's Notes:

This bonus chapter is non-canon. The actual story is not secretly a television show where Arrell is played by an ordinary pony, False by his fiancé, Risk by a gay guy, Nimble by a girl, and Asylum by a bitch. Those were all just things I thought up randomly while writing this chapter, the idea for which was given by _CheckMate_.

...though the little Arrell/False idea there was admittedly mostly to satisfy Thethhron and all his Arrell/False shipping fantasies.