I’ve noticed that a lot happened ever since I met Pinkie. More than usual, at that. On top of Mr. Offa thinking I finally lost it and finding out Kibble has the same “problem” as me, this new guy came back the next day with Mr. Offa’s arm around his shoulder.

“Vinny, I’d like you to meet Marios.” I extended my arm out for a handshake, which he hesitated to grab. After the awkward greeting, Mr. Offa handed him a broom and pointed outside. “How about we start you off with something simple, hm? All you have to do is sweep the leaves off the sidewalk.”

With what I could only interpret as a nod, Marios made his way outside and started doing as he was told. Mr. Offa turned to me with a massive smile stretched across his face. His heavy mitt landed on my shoulder, nearly knocking me down.

“This is great!” he boomed, his voice echoing throughout the store. “Now that we have an extra pair of hands, you’ll be able to focus on baking and customers.” He leaned in close, mere inches from my face. “You can relax now. There’s no need to worry about cleaning up any more, okay?”

Giving him a reluctant nod, he patted my back, knocking the air out of my lungs. I was one for playing rough, but Mr. Offa clearly didn’t know his own strength. He made his way to his office, making sure to close his door loud enough to make me acknowledge it. I let out an exasperated sigh before heading into the kitchen and starting the usual routine. I couldn’t help but look around the room, hoping that Pinkie would show up at any moment. If anything, I could use her company right about now.

As I walked about the kitchen, grabbing supplies and tools, I kept glancing out of the kitchen doorway to check on Marios. His dull expression was almost depressing to look at. How the hell did this guy convince Mr. Offa to give him a job?

“Hiya, Vinny!” squeaked an all-too-familiar voice. I looked around the room, trying to find the pink equine with no success.

“Where are you Pinkie?” I asked, frantically searching, checking inside each cabinet for any sign of her. No matter what I looked through, I couldn’t find her.

“Over here!” she giggled as I follow the sound of her voice. Closer and closer, her laughter grew louder. I was already out of the kitchen at this point and in the hallway headed towards Mr. Offa’s office.

“Pinkie,” I growled, making sure to keep my voice down, “get over here. I’m gonna get in trouble if I go that way.” Pinkie pounced through the wall, aiming straight at me. Naturally, I ducked; instinct made me do it, I swear. With a loud “thump”, I banged my head against the wall and fell on my ass.

“Are you alright?” I heard as I rubbed my head. Behind me, Marios stood at the end of the hallway, broom in hand and eyebrow raised. I stood back up and nervously chuckled.

“I’m fin—”

“Ooh! The quiet guy is back!” Pinkie blurted, cutting me off. I shot her a glare before looking back at Marios, who was inspecting the spot where Pinkie stood. His eyes kept shifting between Pinkie and myself, making me more and more nervous with each glance. Pinkie imitated his action, looking between me and Marios, her smile wide and devious.

“A-All done with the leaves?” I stuttered, trying to break the silence. He continued to stare me down, not uttering a word. All he did was nod slowly before turning back to the storefront, his eyes not breaking from mine until his head had completely turned. Marios disappeared from view as I bolted towards the bathroom. Pinkie followed not far behind, her elated expression now gone.

“Vincent? Is everything alright?” I don’t know why I ran into the bathroom, or why my hands were shaking, but something didn’t feel right. Something about this guy made me nervous, more than anyone I ever met before. It was like he could read my mind, but wouldn’t tell me he could. Turning on the sink, I splashed some cold water onto my face and took a deep breath.

“Vincent…?” I brought myself back to Earth and looked down at Pinkie. Concern was plastered across her face. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” I muttered, drying my face with my apron. “I’m just overthinking the situation, is all.” Pinkie pursed her lips.

“Are you sure?” I nodded. Pinkie wouldn’t understand. She couldn’t. If people were to find out about my little issue, I’d be strapped into a straitjacket, cooped up in a small room covered from corner to corner in soft padding. I could only imagine that the worst she would get is a strange stare from another pony. From the way she describes her world, strange things are always happening.

Exiting the bathroom, I made my way to kitchen and continued making bread, occasionally keeping an eye out for Marios. The entire time I had Pinkie rambling on about something, pounding my eardrums. I wasn’t listening, to be honest: I was more concerned about the guy who could possibly see her. So concerned, I didn’t even notice the bag in my hand was pastry flour before I poured it in.

“Damn it,” I muttered, digging into the mixer with my hands. Scooping the flour out into the empty bag, I cursed relentlessly under my breath. Pinkie continued her onslaught of stories and personal philosophies as the vein in my forehead began to twitch. If I wanted to be quiet, I couldn’t talk to her, especially with Marios roaming around, but so badly did I want to tell her to shut up. No living creature should have had this much interest in the pronunciation of the word “éclair”.

“Oh! I almost forgot!” Pinkie exclaimed, just as I finished digging out the flour. “Princess Celestia wants me to take her to visit you and Kibble tomorrow at around sunset.”

“Tomorrow? You told me Celestia was coming by in three days. What’s with the sudden change in plans?”

“Celestia?” I felt an eerie chill run down my spine as the name was parroted back at me. Slowly, I turned my head and locked eyes with Marios, who stood in the doorway. His eyes were wider than your grandmother’s panties and the creepy smile on his face didn’t help calm me down either. “Then it is true. You are the chosen one!”

At this point, I was tempted to just stick my head in the mixer and flip the switch. It was all over. My job, my life: they were all going to be dropped for a straitjacket and a cushioned room. Marios advanced and kneeled down beside me before doing something I didn’t expect.

He bowed down to me.

I stood there, mouth gaping as this man laid his head on the ground, praising me like god. Pinkie turned to me, clearly just as confused as I was. She pointed her hoof at him, asking me what he was doing. I shrugged and shook my head: her guess was a good as mine!

“Vincent Panem!” I began sweating bullets at the mention of my full name. I don’t remember giving it to him. “We have been watching from afar, questioning whether the prophecy was true. And it is! This is a glorious day!” I didn’t know what the hell was going on. All I had was a single question beating my brain into a pulp.

“What?” Marios lifted himself up, leaning in with his lips puckered, aimed for my cheek. I slapped him as soon as I realized what he was trying to do. “At least take me out to dinner first!”

Marios collected himself and cleared his throat before standing back up.

“My apologies. I got excited. Allow me to explain. I am a follower of the Invisible Pink Unicorn.”

“Invisible Pink Unicorn?” I repeated. “Isn’t that like the Flying Spaghetti Monster?”

“Please don’t compare us to those peasants,” he snapped with a scowl. “We are a serious group who have foretold that one day a man would be meeting with the unicorn Celestia who would open the gateway to the promised land of Equestria where we will live in peace for all eternity!”

To have Pinkie give someone the look she gave him, it would be safe to assume that he were crazy. Pinkie turned to me, her eyebrows raised and mouth wide open.

“Celestia isn’t pink, though,” she mumbled, obviously confused. I turned back to Marios, awaiting his response. He stood there, smiling dumbly. I looked between him and the mare before realizing the obvious.

He couldn’t see or hear her.

To confirm my suspicion, I asked, “Did you hear her?” He looked at me in bewilderment before his eyes darted around the room.

“T-The Invisible Pink Unicorn is among us?” he stammered, frantically searching for the non-existent being. He got the invisible and pink part correct, at least.

“No... but one of her fellow ponies are,” I replied. “Now let me ask you a question. What did you mean you’ve been ‘watching me from afar’?” Marios nervously scratched the back of his head, refusing to make eye contact with me.

“That’s not important right now. What matters is that you contact the princess so you can fulfill the prophecy.” Avoiding my question was something that gets on my nerves. This guy was weird, even by my standards. Obviously he knew more than he was telling me.

“If you want me to ‘fulfill the prophecy’, I suggest you tell me what I want to know. How long have you guys been spying on me?” Marios’s eyes shot to the ground as he let out an exasperated sigh.

“Since the incident with your parents. One of the followers was the psychiatrist who talked with you when you first started seeing your visions.” It felt as if my stomach had tied itself into a knot. Pinkie gave me an apprehensive look as sweat began to trickle down my face.

“Vincent? What’s he talking about?” I clenched my fists so hard, I could feel my short fingernails dig into the skin of my palms.

“When I was younger, my parents were killed in a car accident. I walked away with only a few cuts and bruises. I had no other family, so I was left with having to live in an orphanage. It was then I started to see the ponies.” Horrible memories began to fill my head as I relived my past. “When I went for help, they had me talk to a man by the name of Doctor Tiago. He told me my problem wasn’t normal and that I shouldn’t tell anyone about or else they would lock me up forever.”

Pinkie’s ears tilted back as a frown formed on her face. Marios still refused to look from the floor, let alone glance at me. Only now did it make sense to me. I was being used as a tool for some cult my entire life. They preyed on my fear so that I would one day be their puppet. It took every ounce of willpower not to rear my arm back and punch this guy in the face.

“Not only did that doctor break the Hippocratic Oath, but he followed me for my entire life.” Grabbing the bag of flour, I turned around and headed back to the pantry. “I have work to do. Leave me alone.”

For the rest of the morning, no one came to bother me. Not Marios, not even Pinkie. It was probably obvious that I didn’t want anyone talking to me. I felt like a drone, just walking around doing my job. I didn’t feel the enjoyment that I normally felt each day coming into work. Bread was no longer a work of art; it was just bread. It was apparent to the customers that something was wrong as well. When Kibble came by, he took a bite out of a bread loaf and groaned.

“Vinny, what’s wrong?” Mr. Offa asked me around midday. He caught me sulking in the kitchen, zoned out as I stared at the mixer. I didn’t even bother acknowledging him; I wasn’t in the mood. Before long, Mr. Offa shrugged it off and left the kitchen. I sat at the prep station, staring at the abomination of a cake I had just baked. It was lopsided and the frosting wasn’t even close to being evenly spread. Grabbing the dessert, I slammed it in the garbage can, throwing it with all my strength. The cake exploded into bits and pieces, sending frosting everywhere.

I wiped the chucks from my face and strode towards the back door, grabbing my jacket on the way. The cold air whipped across my face as I entered the narrow alleyway, making me shiver. I looked around at the corner where a few trash cans laid, remembering the day Mr. Offa found me. That was possibly the best—and worst—thing to ever happen to me. Tears began to swell in my eyes, remembering the day that man offered me a new life, away from hobo lifestyle.

“Vinny…”

I turned around to see Pinkie standing behind me, her expression uneasy. I could feel my legs begin to wobble and before I knew it, I was on the knees crying my eyes out like a baby. My voice echoed throughout the quiet alley, scaring off any stray animals and people. I couldn’t hold it in any more. Years of stress and anxiety came out all at once. Instinctively, Pinkie stretched out her forelegs to hug me. There was something wrong though.

I could feel it.

Author's Notes:

My nipples look like Milkduds!