You’d think that after spending three nights in hospital, I’d sleep soundly in my own bed. That wasn’t the case at all. Instead, I ended up lying in my bed for eight hours trying my best to fall asleep. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t do it; I had too much on my mind. Not only was the thought of death creeping around the corner, flooding my conscious, what with barely passing by with a tumor, but I had another problem looming over me.

How was I going get Zecora back?

She came to our world using magic. That shit wasn’t logical here. There’s no such thing as magic on Earth. The more I thought about how she was stuck here, the wider awake I grew. There had to be some way of getting her back home…

Grabbing my cell phone, I looked over my contacts. My fingers stopped as I reached Marios’s number. What could he be doing right now with Zecora in our world? I couldn’t trust the guy: he would most likely run to his IPU buddies and tell them some wild story, like “their time to reach Equestria was here” or something. Instinctively, I pressed the call button. It rang a couple of times before he answered.

“Hello…?” He sounded exhausted. It was only natural. As I looked over at my alarm clock, I noticed it was two in the morning.

“What’re you up to right now?”

“I was trying to calm this beast until you called me. Is something wrong?”

I sat there thinking of a legitimate reason for calling him. I didn’t want to ask him about Zecora, but I needed to know if I planned to fall asleep at all that night.

“I’m going to the bar down the street. It’s called Pour House. Just want to talk. You mind passing by?”

A long moment of silence.

“Sure.”

The call ended. Throwing on some clothes, I headed down the street towards the shithole. As much as I despised that place, I always found myself going there when I needed to get something off my chest. The street was rather empty, both of ponies and humans alike. However, something did stop me as I approached the bar.

“Vinny!” A quiet whisper caught my attention in the noiseless street, causing me to ready my guard. A familiar pair of amber-colored eyes drew me towards a dark alleyway.

“Lyra, where have you been? Pinkie was worried about you.” Lyra waved her hoof, trying to dismiss the subject. She held out a book covered in strange markings with her magical aura.

“Listen, I heard about what happened to Zecora and I have an idea on how to get her back.” I stopped for a moment and kneeled down, ready to listen to her plan. Lyra flipped through the pages before coming to a halt.

“Zecora’s enchantment made it that she has to ‘deal with the evil spirits’. That’s you humans,” she commented, pointing at me with her muzzle. “It doesn’t say anything about vanquishing, but it does say she has to bring peace.”

“What does that even mean?”

Lyra scratched her chin with her hoof. “I don’t know. It might just mean that you have to show her that humans aren’t evil in some way or you have to fight to the death. I can’t tell. I’m not a zebra. I didn’t make this stuff up.”

“Lyra, that’s racist.”

“That’s xenophobic, Vincent. Don’t you get all white knight on me. I’m not trying to disparage her kind.”

I’ll admit, I was a little taken aback by that. I even backed up a bit and put my hands up as a sign of surrender. The mare continued to look over the mysterious tome in hopes of finding something else. With a heavy sigh, she looked me in the eyes.

“Listen, I’ll find you if I find anything else.” With a ‘thump’, she slammed the book shut. “What’re you doing out at this time of night anyway?”

My eyebrow raised up, almost as on its own. “I should be asking the same question.”

Lyra rolled her eyes before heading off past me. “Whatever. You’re not my dad; you don't get to tell me what to do.”

“The same could be said for you, Mom.”

And with that, the minty pony was gone, buried beneath the darkness of the alley. I couldn’t help but stare off into it, almost wishing she would rush back with an answer. Alas, no such thing would come that easy.

I continued my way toward the old bar. As I approached, I opened the door to find the usual cloud of smoke escape the building. The smell was disgusting. I will never understand why this place is still open despite being utterly revolting. After my final breath of fresh air, I entered the building.

The usual biker crowd sat at the bar, pounding away pints of beer like water. After a quick survey of the place, I found Marios sitting in the back, a pint in his hands.

“I didn’t take you for a drinker,” I said, trying to make light conversation. He looked down into his glass, almost reluctant to reply.

“One of the bikers over there got it for me.” A quick glance over the shoulder helped me identify the man in question almost immediately. He gave Marios a slightly flamboyant wave and wink before turning back to his buddies. I couldn’t help but laugh at Marios’s expense.

“Oh, man. That’s rich.” A random question popped into my head. “How’d you get here before I did? I only live a few blocks away.” His finger pointed up to the ceiling.

“I live right upstairs.” Marios’s eyes quickly glanced over the bartender. “The owner’s apparently from South Africa and keeps asking why there’s hooves clip-clopping upstairs accompanied by zebra neighs.”

Before I could even respond, I heard it. It sounded like a loud laugh from a hyena mixed with a donkey. I could feel the bartender’s eyes move to our table. Marios just stared at me, not wanting to make any sort of contact with him.

“How much longer am I going to have that zebra in my apartment? I can’t play this game forever.”

“Just take that biker upstairs with you. Tell the owner that the noises are from the ‘partners’ you bring with you.”

Marios’s face turned red. His gaze turned into a glare rather quickly. “What did you even bring me here for? Did you want to just mock me for helping you?”

“No, not at all. I’m just needed someone to talk to about all this. It’s stressful, ya know, seeing horses and shit.”

Marios’s glare seized, a smirk creeping up on his face. “Trying living with one, then come talk to me.”

“She’s not a horse, she’s a zebra. Don’t be so xenophobic.” Thanks, Lyra.

“It neighs, has hooves, and a long face. It’s like a horse.”

“Look me dead in the eye and say that shit sounds like a horse’s neigh.” To punctuate my statement, Zecora let out another one. Marios shifted uncomfortably.

“Whatever. What did you want to talk about?”

I leaned back in my seat and looked up to the ceiling. Why did I call him here? I could have called anyone else, but I called Marios instead.

“You’re in that weird cult—”

“It’s not a cult.”

“— and I figured you’d be the only person I could talk to and not find me crazy.”

Marios bit his lip. Despite knowing that I was weird, he knew that I wasn’t crazy. Or in the event he did think I was, he played along really well. It’s not like he could pretend anyway; he did have a fucking zebra living in his apartment.

Without hesitation, Marios took a large swig from his drink and leaned back in his seat. “Alright, what’s on your mind?”

“I need to get Zecora back to her world. She doesn’t belong here. Another pony told me the only way for her to get her back is if she ‘confronts’ the evil spirits of our world and brings peace.”

“That could mean a lot things.”

“Exactly. That’s why I can’t sleep. I keep thinking, ‘How is she going to get back?’”

Marios grabbed his chin, lost in thought. He sat like that for five minutes before responding.

“Maybe she’s here to help you.”

“Beg your pardon?”

“It’s a long shot, but you’re the ‘evil spirit’, are you not?”

“I wouldn’t say evil. Twisted in more ways than one, but not evil.”

“It seems like she’s here to help ease your pain.” He stared me down with a serious expression. “You’re not exactly the happiest guy, after all.”

“You wouldn’t be either if you could see weird horses and shit that other people would throw you into a looney bin for.”

“That’s my point. She might be the hero you need.”

“Not the one I want, that’s for sure,” I replied under my breath. Though, it did make sense. Maybe Zecora was brought here to help and I’ve been looking at the picture all wrong. But what problem was she going to help me with? It’s not like she could magically make my pony vision disappear. There was only one way to find out, though.

“Alright,” I sighed as I got up from my seat. “Let’s get Zecora to my apartment.”

“What? Right now?”

“When would be a better time?” I pointed to the clock. “It’s the dead of night. Now’s a better time than ever.”

Marios looked down at his drink, a look of disbelief on his face. He then grabbed it and chugged the rest. Even I was impressed.

“Alright, let’s do this.” As we walked back out into dark streets, Marios showed me to his sketchy looking front door. Once inside, I could see why he didn’t quite enjoy having Zecora in his home. The place was a mess. There was furniture overturned, papers all over the place, messy piles of literal shit in the corners; it was like I entered an actual stable.

“Zecora? You here?”

As I scanned the room, I saw a pair of glowing yellow eyes sitting on the far side. She slowly creeped out of her corner, caution covering her face. “I beg you human, pray tell. Have you found me a way out of this hell?”

Marios didn’t seem to happy about her question. “Hey, I’ve done nothing but try to make your stay here comfortable. And instead, you shit in my living room!”

“Marios, calm down. She is sort of an animal after all. You can’t expect her to use the toilet right away.”

“Oh no. The toilet is easy to use,” Zecora cut in. “I just wanted to play a little ruse.”

Hella fucked up. I couldn’t help but shake my head as Marios’s eye twitched and fists clenched. “It’s not worth it. Besides, she’ll be out of your hair and in mine shortly.”

That seemed to calm him down, but I could still see the anger in his eyes. I switched my focus back to Zecora. “Listen, we’re gonna move you to my place. Right now is the perfect time to move you about the streets without bringing any attention to us.”

Zecora went on about she didn’t want to stay with an interrogator. I can only assume that meant Marios went overboard with the questions and hit a soft spot or something. I was too focused on getting a zebra the size of a large dog over to my place to dive into any deeper.

Taking off my hoodie, I wrapped it around Zecora and made my way downstairs. Marios went ahead and checked the street to see if it was clear to go. After his signal, I made my way outside with Zecora not too far away. The hairs on my neck raised when we heard the front door of the bar swing open.

“Hey, pretty boy!”

Marios and I turned around to find the burly biker that bought him a drink approach us. He was clearly drunk off his ass.

“What’s yer boy got that I don’t?”

Calmly, I tried to defuse the situation. “Sir, we’re not—”

“Shut the fuck up! I ain’t talking to you!” His eyes darted back at Marios, tears starting to well in them. “I bought you a drink. The least you coulda done was thank me for it!”

Marios’s face showed clear signs of panic. “Uh… I’m sorry? I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just… you see my friend here, with—” The biker’s focus was now on Zecora, who didn’t turn around. “—my dog. Yeah, my dog!”

I nudged Zecora with my leg. I could hear her let out an exasperated sigh.

“Woof.”

“He was just coming to pick her up,” Marios continued. “She doesn’t do well with new people and… I didn’t want you to come over with…” Anything said from that point on was unintelligible . Marios’s head was pointed down at the floor as the biker cooed sweet nothings. He dug a hole and this biker was about to fill it up. (If you know what I mean.) Zecora and I started heading down the street as Marios let the man into his home, clearly unsure of what was about to go down.

“Poor bastard. That guy is gonna destroy him. That is, if he doesn’t wonder why there’s piles of shit all over.”

Zecora chuckled. “That poor man. So skinny and teeny. He’s in for a big surprise from that bear’s weeny.”

I won’t lie. My sides almost burst as I walked down the street after hearing that. I don’t know why she spoke in rhymes, but it made conversations a hundred times better. After finally catching my breath, we made our way back to the apartment, making sure to take a few alleys along the way.

Big mistake.

As we turned down the last alley that led to the front of my apartment, someone jumped out from behind a dumpster. I quickly leapt in front of Zecora, ready to take the hit. My eyes closed and my teeth clenched, but I quickly realized nothing bad was going to happen. As my eyes shot open, I saw a bum stand before me, barely in the conscious world.

“The zebra and the pony man, standing before me. Your future is a strange one from what I see.”

What is it with everyone around me rhyming? The man quickly backed up and pointed at the sky.

“When the time is right, she’ll go back home. Then you’ll fulfill the quest of the ancient tome.”

“Ancient tome?” I repeated.

He ignored my question and continued. “Your answer lies not with what you do for her, but instead with her helping you, young sir.”

“You’re speaking crazy talk.”

“Heed my words and be careful still. They’ll find you, the ones who are… evil.”

The silence after that statement could fill a stadium. “That didn’t rhyme.”

And before I knew it, the man booked it, disappearing into the darkness. Turning to Zecora, I looked at her for answers. She merely shrugged.

“Don’t ask me. I clearly don’t know. The craziness in this world continues to grow.” She was right. I remember just being able to see ponies and that was my end of crazy. All this shit happening to me was just an added plus for when they finally send my ass to a psych ward.

“Let’s just get inside.” After three flights of stairs, making a sleeping quarter for Zecora and a quick entry to the journal, I finally laid in my bed, ready to sleep. My eyes closed before and sleep slowly began its course…

...until the alarm kicked in and the start of a new day was there.

Author's Notes:

For those wonder what a zebra's neigh sounds like:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPmlh_ncsko

Also, sorry this took so long. Except more frequent updates. I have more time on my hands at work and get bored real quick.