Mr. Cake was sure that if somepony had told him this morning that the Elements of Harmony would personally escort him and his family to their doom that very night; he would’ve laughed in their faces. Nopony was laughing now. Not even the Element of Laughter, still holding his children captive. Just a few feet away, his mailmare stared blankly at a wall, while that local string player (what was her name…she was the one who was into mares…oh, right! Lyra!) was busy trying to break the spell over each of the Elements.

“Applejack, buddy, c’mon! It’s me, Lyra!” The aquamarine unicorn waved a hoof around the Element of Honesty’s face. “You were the first pony I told when I hopped outta the closet, remember!? You introduced me and Bon-Bon, for Heaven’s sakes!”

The orange Earth pony stared blankly ahead, the red hue still glowing in her eyes.

“C’mon pal, I know you don’t wanna do this to your old buddy, Lyra!” She picked up her marefriend’s hoof. “So we’re just gonna take our leave and…”

Instantly, Applejack and Rarity moved together, blocking the mares’ path. “Mistress Trixie has requested an audience with everypony in this room,” Rarity said emotionlessly.

“Y’all can’t refuse an invitation from the Great and Powerful Trixie,” Applejack added.

“Oh, it’s no use,” Mrs. Cake sniffled. “They’re not our friends anymore. They’re under some kind of spell, can’t you see?”

“Th-that can’t be!” Derpy said, tears threatening to breach her crisscrossed eyes. “These ponies are the strongest I know! Trixie couldn’t have made them different so fast!”

“Apparently, she could have,” Colgate said solemnly. “I offered Rarity a free checkup when she showed up at my door, and she still took me. Now, what could explain how anypony could resist a free cleaning besides an evil, hypnotic trance?”

“Um…” Mr. Cake said, pulling his wife close and allowing her to cry into his apron. “I could think of a few things just off hoof.”

“Well, if we’re going out, I’m glad it’s at these ponies’ hooves,” Cloudchaser shrugged, looking around at the five Elements surrounding her. “I mean really, could you come up with anypony better to…do the deed?”

“I guess I can’t,” Mr. Cake mumbled, his wife looking up at him with glistening, wet eyes. “But hey, it might not even come to that! Trixie might have something…else in mind…”

Realizing how bad that sounded, Mr. Cake sealed his lips as his wife dove into another crying jag in his apron. The remaining captives sat in silence until a door slammed open and Trixie strode in. Almost immediately, she face-hoofed herself. “Oh for Celestia’s sake, you bought the whole family!?” She groaned in Pinkie’s direction.

“Of course, mistress!” The pink mare said brightly. “I was just gonna bring the parents, but then the kids would be all alone in that big empty house and I remembered how much I like spending time with them and hey then I remembered technically they qualify as Cakes so I figured…”

“Okay, shut up,” Trixie moaned, grateful that the spell gave Pinkie a much-needed ‘off-switch.’ “I guess I’m just running a bucking daycare center now…”

“Um, Miss Trixie?” Mr. Cake said, his voice quivering. “Wha-what are you planning to do to us?”

“Please, not my children,” Mrs. Cake whimpered, still holding her husband. “She can do whatever she wants to me, but not my children…”

“Oh, right, the kids. Dizziness,” Trixie said thoughtfully. “First of all, Pinkie, could you please give Mrs. Cake her foals back?”

“Of course, Mistress,” Pinkie said, holding the foals out for their mother. Mrs. Cake slowly released her husband and eased towards her children, quickly taking them up in her hooves and showering their little faces with tearful kisses the moment they were hers again.

“Now, everypony else? Get close to a pony and give them a hoof, like they’re swooning and you wanna give them support. Get ready to catch them in case they fall,” Trixie ordered. Still confused, the remaining ponies obeyed. “Now, on my mark, three…two…one…”

Trixie’s amulet flickered, and suddenly the red haze disappeared from each of the Elements’ eyes. Instantly, they all swooned, nearly hitting the floor but for the ponies strategically placed nearby. Except for Fluttershy, who managed a few steps before slamming face-first into the ground away from Derpy. “Oops, my bad,” the crossed-eyed pegasus said sheepishly.

“Aaaand that’s what the shock-absorbers in the collars are for,” Trixie sighed, rolling her eyes as the Elements regained their hoofing.

“Puh-Pinkie Pie?” Mr. Cake asked the mare in his hooves.

“Oy…the one and only!” She said queasily before vomiting a stream of glitter all over his apron.

“Yep,” he sighed, flicking a few strands of vomit off his drawstrings. “It’s you alright.”

“I must say,” Rarity said dizzily, swooning in Colgate’s hooves. “That spell certainly takes a lot out of a pony.”

“A-Applejack?” Bon-Bon asked the pony in her hooves, unsure of what was going on.

“The wha-one…one an’…what Pinkie said,” the Element of Honesty grumbled as she pushed herself to her hooves. “M’head feels like a whole chorus a’ buffalo’s been tap-dancin’ on it.”

“Trixie probably should have warned you about that,” the blue unicorn said sheepishly as the remaining Elements of Harmony pushed themselves to their hooves. The other ponies looked around in confusion.

“Okay, I’ll bite, what’s going on?” Cloudchaser said eventually.

“Well…” Trixie started.

“…’S a bit hard t’explain,” Applejack added.

“I don’t even know where to start!” Dash said.

Rising to the occasion, Pinkie leapt over the ponies and landed at Trixie’s side, speaking fast enough to send a hummingbird into convulsions: “Okay so there’s this really really bad dog and he’s out to blow up Equestria and he’s got a big explodey thingy that can blow up Canterlot and we gotta find that and also stop him without hurting his army or else the other Diamond Dogs’ll rebel and a lot of ponies and dogs could get hurt if that happens so Trixie’s posing as a possible ally to lure them all in one place and dupe him into giving us the location of the explodey thingy by faking an attack by the Elements of Harmony which we can’t use because the Dogs can detect them somehow and no other pony can know about this because the Dogs are really good diggers which means they could have spies in Ponyville already and we need you to pose as us while we keep his head spinning with magic and stuff.”

She collapsed to the floor, panting heavily as her face faded from blue back to its normal pink. “Wow,” Dash said, eyebrows rising. “Everything we wanted to say in one breath. That was impressive even for her.”

“For the ponies in the room who don’t have the attention span of a bumblebee,” Trixie sighed, running a hoof through her mane. “Yes, this has all been a setup for an elaborate plan to capture a wicked Diamond Dog. Yes, Princess Celestia herself gave me this mission, how else would I get the Amulet out of Canterlot?”

The other ponies in the room looked at each other and shrugged. She had a good point there.

“No, the Elements aren’t really under Trixie’s control, I can only mind control somepony if they willingly allow it to happen, otherwise Trixie probably would have done it when last Trixie was here. And yes, in order to complete this plan and save Equestria from certain destruction, we all need your help.”

The ponies all stared back at her, totally stunned. Their eyes drifted to Applejack, standing next to the blue mare. “Yeah, it’s the truth,” she said, and to emphasize her point, the collars all faded from existence around the ponies’ necks.

A quick sigh of relief made its rounds throughout the room. “Now, are there any questions?” Trixie asked. After a few awkward moments, Mr. Cake raised a hoof. “Yes?”

“So, just to be clear, we’re all supposed to pose as the Elements of Harmony?” He asked.

“Well, not all of you, we wound up grabbing a few extras,” Trixie replied, glaring at Pinkie, who smiled obliviously back at her. “But yes, that is the hope.”

“And we’re supposed to do this for your sake?” Lyra asked accusingly.

“Not Trixie’s sake: Equestria’s sake,” Trixie clarified, her eyes suddenly sparking with power. “This is a mission straight from the Princesses themselves, meant to save hundreds of lives. And if that’s not good enough, then there’s the door, but you walk out Trixie doesn’t ever…”

“Ahem,” Rainbow said with a quick nudge to the magician’s shoulder. “Trixie, your evil is showing.”

Immediately, the sparks faded from her eyes. “Right,” she said, standing up tall. “Anyway, that’s the gig. So, you all in, or out?”

To her surprise the ponies all screamed “IN” while hopping in place like a bunch of fillies just told that they were going to Celestialand.

“OH MY GOSH! This is something out of a Daring-Do novel!” Lyra gasped as her marefriend tried to keep her under control.

“That’s what I said!” Dash added.

“I’m gonna be an Element! I’m gonna be an Element!” Derpy sang, tripping over her own hooves and crashing into Rarity’s side.

“Wow,” Trixie mused, eyes wide in shock. “That was way easier the second time around.”

“You must be gettin’ practice with tellin’ ponies thangs,” AJ replied with a shrug. “Now, if’n y’wanna lead the way, oh fearless leader…”

“Wait!” Mr. Cake’s hoof rose above the crowd of joyous, relieved, and predominately female ponies. All eyes turned on him. “Before we take off on this whole, zany, highly convoluted adventure, there’s one thing I have to know!”

“What would that be?” Trixie asked.

“Why do you speak in third-pony?”

Her jaw dropped. “Trixie just…she means, I just…Trixie doesn’t usually…ugh, it’s a long story, okay? Couldja all just get some rest? We have a lot to do when the sun comes up.”

“Just follow me, everypony!” Rarity sang, happily leading the way to one of the back rooms. “We have cots and sleeping bags for everyone!”

Trixie waited until the last of the excited ponies was led out of the room, all chatting amicably with one another. She sighed and closed her eyes, her hooves rubbing at her temples. The little voice whispering at the back of her mind was growing stronger, but she had to keep fighting, she had to…

“Trixie?” She opened her eyes again to see the Element of Kindness standing there.

“Whaddya want?” She snapped, a bit more harshly than she meant to.

Fluttershy cringed. “I-I’m sorry, you just looked like you were in pain for a moment, and I-I just wanted to know if you were alright.”

“Oh,” the magician pasted a smile on her face. “Of course I’m alright. Everything’s going just according to plan, isn’t it?”

“I-I think so, I’m not…”

“Don’t worry about it, Miss Flutters,” Trixie replied, urging her out the door with the others. “Everything’s going to be just fine, you understand?”

“I-I guess so…”

“You should know so,” Trixie replied, ignoring Fluttershy’s unsure looks and half-glances over her shoulder as she closed the door behind her. The moment she was alone, Trixie fell against the door and slumped to the ground, shivering in the dark as the voice in her head whispered in a hissing, evil little cackle. “E-everything is gonna be j-just fine.”