“H-hello, my name is Dillon.” I started my introduction to the group before me. ‘Why can't one of you do this for me?’

Because we love to watch you squirm!

“Hi, Dillon.” Came the droning response from the group, interrupting my thought. 'Deep, calming breath and just like I had rehearsed... I can do this.'

No you can’t, it’ll be just like last time!

I gritted my teeth and tried to block out the voices. “I am twenty years old.” And still single! “I have MPD, or Multi-Personality Disorder.” Oh, yeah, did I mention I was crazy?! “And I am here to try and make some new friends.” I concluded.

Really, friends with this bunch? I can see it now! Mr. Tourett's and Dr. ADHD, with their trusty sidekick, MPD Kid!

I shook my head free of all thoughts, focusing on the floor for a second to make sure they wouldn’t come back.

As I looked up I expected to see the board faces of the few people who actually come to these “help sessions”. Instead I received a bunch of weird looks, as if I had lost my mind.

And we all know that’s not too far away.

“Um… please continue, Dillon.” I heard the group leader say as she recovered from whatever had just happened.

“I have no siblings, my parents wish to stay out of contact, and if I had a love life it would be a wreck.” You all can start lining up for the crazy train any time you’d like.

“And what about your job?” she asked as if she wanted to get this over with relatively fast, which I could understand, as I had the same wish.

I am currently attending Harvard. I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong. I am no genius, nor am I gifted in any way. I am the average, if not worse. My parents paid for it and bribed the teachers for better grades. I am nothing more than a normal person and I hate to be thought of as something more.

My response was something to the effect of “collage.” As I sat back down.

Like I said, just like last time.

Hey, give him some credit, he didn’t get all embarrassed and freak out, did he?

Not to mention he knew better than to ask what had happened!

I know that none of you care about him, but I think you’re being awful mean.

Well, that’s too bad.

Um, yeah, guys. Could ya cut it out?

Hell no! He brought us into this world and now he will pay for all eternity!

‘I did nothing to get you guys lodged in my head! They were all unintentional! Not to mention I didn’t have anything to do with half of them!’

And you wanna know something? We don’t care.

There was maniacal laughter in my head, as there was no way I could respond to that. I was about to attempt a retort when another voice interrupted me. This one was not in my head.

“Mr. Dillon, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. You are causing a disturbance. I will call you and inform you when the next meet is.” Came the group leader’s voice.

“I’m sorry, Mrs.” I said as I got up and swiftly left the room.

And my prediction continues. You screwed this one up just like the last one.

“hey, it’s not my fault you guys distract me!” I whispered under my breath. A janitor gave me a funny look.

And it’s not our fault that you got us instead of insanity!

Oh, wait!

There was laughter in my head as the two jackasses were being just that, jackasses.

“whatever.” I growled as I exited the building.

-----

It had been about half an hour since I left the help meet, but it wasn’t bugging me. What was bugging me, though, was the noise in my head; my many voices talking about what to eat tonight.

I say we get some Chinese takeout.

And I say we get some good ole fashion steak.

Well what about that quaint little restaurant on the corner of 174th and Switzer?

You mean the place where if you use the wrong fork you get thrown out?

This bickering kept on for a while as I walked into the kitchen and started making mac n’ cheese. It took a minute for anyone to figure out I had already decided what we were eating.

Dillon, whatcha doin?

“oh, nothing. You guys are deciding dinner, right?” I asked aloud, there was nobody around to stare at me, so I thought why not?

Well, yeah, but you’re making something.

“yep, I am.”

Why?

“Well, this is what I’m eating. You guys have yet to decide what you want.” I stirred the noodles.

But we inhabit the same body. If you eat we won’t be hungry anymore.

“I know that.” By this time I was finished with the initial heating, so I drained the water and put the cheese powder in.

Then why are you eating?!

“I’m hungry.” I deadpanned. “Why else?”

But we were deciding where to eat!

“And it’s my body, I’m in control, and I say a cheap bowl of the golden stuff.” I smiled as several voices broke out in complaint.

After a few minutes of stirring I was eating, but the incessant voices never stop. They started talking about many things at once. If I focused on one conversation I might hear them freaking out about the new call of duty game, if I tried to listen to another, I would hear stuff about the current president.

I sifted through the conversations and came to one in particular I always listen in on to get a good laugh.

And I said ‘oatmeal, are you crazy?!’

Laughter erupted from the listener as the other voice finished an apparent joke.

I rarely understood his antics or why he did stuff, but he always made people laugh. And he seemed to enjoy it.

As I listened to the many random conversations I ate. As a whole, they were nothing but background noise, random thoughts. But each one was a different person with different experiences. I never wanted them there and I always thought they were a curse. But parents often think that of their children. Either way, I’ve grown to deal with them.