Diary of a Ruler

by Lamia

Chapter 2: Entry 4 - Peace

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I find myself thinking of this diary once more. It seems to be a useful tool for projecting my thoughts and feelings away from my mind. In years time, I could reflect back on them, and wonder about the pony I was. Will I view things differently in twenty years? What about fifty, or even a hundred? The idea of looking back at what I wrote in a diary a hundred years from now seems fascinating. I only wished I had thought of it sooner; I would have liked to go through a diary from when I was a filly.

I suppose I should detail points of my day once more. I decided to canter through the Everfree Forest to pass the time, giving thought to my service as a ruler. Wherever I go, creatures of all shapes and sizes acknowledge my appearance, ponies included. Sometimes, I feel that even the plants bow in my presence. It always felt unnerving. I never asked for this position, one of power. It does not feel as it is my purpose, despite what my relatives and advisors have told me.

'Your destiny lies with royalty, ruling Equestria!'

I believe that one's destiny, their fate, lies within the choices they make. In the end, one makes their own future. I admit, despite not actually wanting to at the time, I conceded and made this queendom my future. I suppose even now I wonder if I am still the proper choice for this position... I am sure somepony around will remind me once again if I bring the topic to attention once more. I do wonder if any other rulers think of the same question. Am I the right one to take this charge?

Even so, I believe I have handled being a ruler to the satisfaction of the populace, at the least. I hear all over Canterlot and other locations that I have brought an era of peace and prosperity to the land. Peace is always what one strives for most in life, is it not? Comfort within themselves, among others, or upon the world they live on. It is a state of which there is harmony, freedom, and generally good nature.

I wonder about that, however; what defines all of it? What is peace to one may be prison to another. Peace is just how I said it. It is a state, a state of control. Can there be peace within a community without barriers to restrict those who would disrupt it?

Is it peace when you are forced to succumb to it by law, living your daily life whether knowing or not that you have no real control? Or when there are no restrictions, can there be a trust between its many participants to act accordingly by a set of arbitrary rules? What about within oneself? Can I truly be at peace if I detached myself from the world entirely? How would I know what peace was?

Inner peace is the hardest object to obtain. Even now I find myself at a crossroads, despite how many perceive me. Such feelings are irksome, plaguing my mind from time to time. I believe the only reason that my lands are a wonderful place to live is due to my detachment from them. I cannot feel at peace if somepony I was very close to lived in a life of poverty, suffering daily. Countless ponies do, but whether by a sequence of unfortunate events, or that they deserve it, it is not my duty to save everypony from themselves.

While I may provide a peace and tranquility to those around me, I distance myself from the ponies of the world so that I may not get attached and do them or myself harm. It is necessary for a princess like me.

Next Chapter: Entry 21 - Simplicity Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 49 Minutes
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