Mind Over Matter

1 - Of Rain Washed Memories

[There is the sound of a record scratching, followed by the rasp of wood on stone. A crackling fire can be heard in the background, while the sound of light breathing begins to make itself known.]

This is the audio journal of Sir Mind Cleaner, gentleman and psychiatric professional, entry number one. I believe I am twenty-four years old, and have lived in the country of Equestria for a little over three, maybe four years now. Two of those years were spent in Manehattan at the Orange Family Estate, while the rest have been spent living in Ponyville, at 2100 Maple Sugar Road. I have several close friends whom I consider to be my family, though I do not know of any blood relations that I might have.

I am… unsure of how to say this. You see, I’m very… [There is a pause, followed by the sound of Cleaner clearing his throat] unusual. That is, to say, I’m not a pony. Nor am I a diamond dog, a gryphon, a Saddle Arabian, or any other known species on this planet. In fact, I have hardly any idea what kind of creature I am; the closest I have come to naming my species is something I picked up from one Miss Lyra Heartstrings.

According to her, I am what is called a “Human”. Certainly, it’s not a very enticing name, but from her descriptions it is the closest I’ll ever come to finding my true identity. They appear to be bipedal creatures, similar to a diamond dog, but without the ability to run on all fours; and they wear less fur, are exceptionally weaker, and… well, very different as I’m sure you’ve already deduced.

A very close friend of mine, Miss Rarity Belle, was the one who suggested that I begin recording the major events of my life in order that I do not forget them again. She was also the one who provided me with this recording device; a very generous gift. I shall have to remember to thank her, somehow.

[A pen scratches on paper for a moment]

I suppose I should start recounting those major events then. I believe the perfect place to begin with is the last thing I can actually remember; my first day on Equestria.

From what I’ve been told, it was a Tuesday, at precisely one o’clock in the afternoon. Manehattan had just been scheduled for a large rainstorm to make up for the heat wave that had been tormenting its citizens. So it really is no surprise that the raindrops falling on my head is what woke me from what I guess was sleep.

I remember that the first thought that went through my mind at the time was, “Why am I sleeping on such hard stones?” This was then followed by what I assume is the usual thought process for amnesiacs: “Where am I”, “What time is it”, and of course, “Who am I?”

This is what truly astonished me at the time, however. For a few moments, I didn’t remember how to walk or move my body. I thought that I had lost control of myself, that something must have attacked me and left me for dead. I struggled to remember everything, tried to remember how to bloody move… and then it struck me: I did not even know what species I was.

I think that’s what shocked me into moving, in the end. It was nothing major at first, mind you. I just managed to open my eyes and remembered how to breathe. Then again, I suppose breathing is something that’s considered to be important.  After all, I’d rather not not breathe.

In any case, I tried to get a good look at just who I was. Soon enough, I realized that I was lying on the ground with my back pressed up against a brick wall. My body was covered in something strangely comfortable – clothes, I soon remembered – and my skin was covered in rather large cuts and bruises. My feet were bare, and the shattered remains of a golden pocket watch were scattered near my face.

I also had a massive, agonizing headache. Not the kind that comes from drinking too much, as some of my friends are wont to do, but the kind that comes from… oh, how do I put it in understandable terms… comes from trying to absorb an entire library’s worth of information in just an hour, while there are obnoxious teenagers barraging you with words that have no business being in a dictionary. I know that still doesn’t make much sense, but it was how I felt at the time.

As I tried moving my legs, more and more bits of knowledge started to return to me. I started recalling the name of each article of clothing I was and wasn’t wearing – I’m still curious as to what happened to my shoes and socks –, the names of each of my body parts, numbers and letters, and other seemingly trivial bits of information. By the time I’d finally crawled to a standing position, I knew almost everything but the big questions:

Who am I?

What am I?

How did I get here?

The rain had really started coming down then. If my watch (at least I think it was mine… I hope it was mine) were not broken, I would have tried to see what the time was. My headache had dulled to only a quiet roar instead of the raging storm it had been before, so I was starting to feel more confident in my abilities. I took one step forward… and nearly fell down again.

Apparently, my leg had been fractured somehow. I didn’t know that, however, and instead let out a rather loud cry of pain. I then noticed that underneath the black vest I’d been wearing, I was also dressed in a very strangely colored shirt. I was certain that a white button-up shirt was not supposed to have irregularly shaped red color patterns on it. Undeterred, I tried limping a few more steps, eventually reaching the end of the alley I had woken up in.

I did not want to collapse into unconsciousness again. I might undo all the trivial information I had just remembered! So I commanded myself to take another step forward, and then another step. I wanted to take a good look at where I was; maybe it would trigger some form of memory shock, or whatever it’s called. I was determined to find something, anything to remind me of who I was.

What I got instead, though, was an incredibly unfamiliar setting. I knew that the large square shapes were skyscrapers, and that the light I was seeing was coming from streetlamps. The roads were smooth cobblestone, and already a hazard to walk on in this weather. I knew this was a “city” of some sort. The buildings did look very nice, however.

And the ground looked just as nice. Though I will admit, it would have looked a lot nicer if my face wasn’t pressed against it and if my ribs weren’t adding to my body’s symphony of pain. I found that I did not have the energy to cry out again this time, though. I’m considerably surprised that I was still able to keep my eyes open after that.

[Mind Cleaner takes a deep breath, before letting it out in a long sigh]

I was quite fortunate that night. For you see, no less than fourteen seconds after I had collapsed, I lay my eyes on a pony for the first time in my life. Celestia and Luna must have both been smiling upon me that night, for I was found by one of the kindest ponies to walk Equis.

She had a cream colored coat underneath a maroon jacket; her mane was colored a vibrant orange color that caught the light of the streetlamps in its depths. She had an umbrella propped on her back somehow, on a saddle if I remember correctly. She said something to me, asked me if I was alright, I think.

I of course replied with an intelligent, “Uuuuugh.”

And then I lost consciousness for a few more hours. Hmm… as I record my past, I’m beginning to realize this becomes a very strong and repetitious event. That’s quite sad, really. Or maybe I’m just imagining things like some of my patients. Does that mean I’ve finally cracked as well?

No, no. I have not reached that point yet.

Now, to return to the story. When I had regained consciousness again, I was immediately grateful that I had not forgotten what little I had remembered in the fifteen minutes I’d been awake before. I was also acutely aware that my clothes had been removed, and subsequently replaced by stitches and bandages of various sizes. My senses were considerably dulled this time; what pain there was had been considerably muted.

For a few moments, I was content to lie there with what I can only imagine was a ridiculous grin on my face. It was silent, it wasn’t painful, and I did not have the pressing urge to remember anything. Good Lord, but it felt so unbelievably wonderful compared to my previous foray into the world. I almost let myself willingly fall asleep again, if I’m being perfectly honest.

And that’s when it struck me; I had to relieve myself.

Well, after a series of rather comical and quite embarrassing events, not only did I manage to find a water closet, but I was also able to attract the attention of the doctor assigned to tend to me; one Doctor Corpus Oath. We had a lengthy conversation, wherein he explained how I was very lucky to survive all of the wounds upon my body, and I told him of my lack of memory. The good doctor used a few basic memory recollection techniques, which I’ve been told are some of the most efficient non-magical means, but the two of us were unable to make any good progress.

“Are you sure there’s absolutely nothing you can think of?” he asked after the second hour of questions. “After all, you’re not exactly… well, common, in these lands.”

“What do you mean?” I asked him in reply. I then blinked, and added, “Actually, where am I?”

He frowned and looked at a clipboard attached to my bed once again. “Well, you’re in Hip O’Cratic’s General Hospital, in the city of Manehattan. This country is called Equestria, and the planet is called Equis. Does any of that ring a bell?”

I shook my head, desperately clinging to each word in the hopes that it would give me any sort of clue. But alas, they were completely unfamiliar. “To be honest, the last thing I remember is waking up in an alley, and being brought here by–”

“That would be me, darling,” a new voice interrupted me.

I looked over at the doorway of the room, and saw the same mare from before. This time, though, she was without her saddle and overcoat, allowing me a glimpse of –

[A sharp whistle cuts in, along with the faint sound of tin rattling]

Oh, that’s my tea. I suppose this would be an ample time to pause the recording and refresh myself; my throat was becoming rather dry from all this talking.

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