Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1)

by Barrobroadcaster

First published 12th of August, 2013

Based on the Tumblr blogs, youtube videos and all else relating to Dan Vs. and My Little Pony. The continuing adventures of Dan, Fluffle Puff and all their friends updated every Saturday.

Based on the blogs, youtube videos and all else relating to these wonderful characters. The continuing adventures of Dan, Chrys, Twilight and all their friends in Equestria updated weekly on Saturdays. Directed by Michael Hay.
Current Episode:
Episode 20: The Wrath of Dan- Dan Vs. Barro the Broadcaster
The final objective is in sight: the moon. Hanging high overhead, Rice's secret base has finally been uncovered, and with it, the prospect of rescuing their friends. If Dan and company are successful, it will mean an Equestria restored, a bright new future for them all. Defeat will mean an end to them all. The only obstacle is... me?

Equestria's top broadcaster, that's me, is forced to become Rice's top gun after my best friend is kidnapped and held hostage. Before Dan shoots the moon, he'll have to get past me, along with any other traps and defenses Rice has set up. Dan has proven already he's willing to go to any lengths, depths and heights to reach his goal, but can he really reach the moon... or is his own broadcast about to be cut short once again?

Pilot/Episode 1: The Spectacular Origin Story- Dan Vs. The Airlines

The sun set on a beautiful Ponyville day. Twilight and Spike walked back to their house and noticed how the lovely light of the sun bathed the town in a beautiful orange glow. They'd said good-bye to their friends at the train station and departed, closing the chapter on their recent adventure in the Crystal Empire. They were both happy to be back home.

Twilight gripped the knob with her magic and opened the door to her house.

"And where have you two been?!!" A loud voice demanded. Standing in the foyer of Twilight's house was one of Twilight Sparkle's houseguests, Dan. The pale-skinned, dark-haired biped stood with balled up fists at his side, teeth gritted in an expression of fuming rage.

Dan, as Twilight knew him, was a very loud creature from another dimension. Known as a 'human', he was the only one of his species Twilight knew was in Equestria. At the moment, anyway.

"I'm sorry, Dan," Twilight apologized as she entered. "We kind of had to leave in a hurry and you weren't here at the time."

"I was out getting groceries!" Dan shouted in exasperation. "I come back to find both of you gone and not so much as a note left to tell me where you went!" Dan had a reputation both on Earth and in Equestria for being... easily disgruntled. He had a tendency to let little issues anger him, leading to irrational overreactions about otherwise small problems. While there were some individuals, even in Ponyville, who at times let little things get out of hoof, Dan took things to the next level. Often, he would seek vindication for himself against those who he perceived had done him wrong. This time though, Twilight could see how he could be upset with her.

The purple dragon and alicorn walked over to Dan. "I'm very sorry, Dan," Twilight reiterated. "We were only gone a couple of days. I told Fluffle Puff to tell you where we were going... where is she, anyway?"

Dan looked up to the roof of the house. "She discovered the ceiling fan," his voice had immediately changed to a slightly calmer yet disappointed tone as he explained.

Spike raised an eyebrow. "We have a ceiling fan?"

"Had a ceiling fan," Dan clarified. "Now we have a disco ball."

"What?"

"Turn off the lights."

Curious and confused, Twilight walked over to the light switch on her wall and turned it off. The room was immediately illuminated by a swirl of tiny lights that circled the room. Twilight looked up to the ceiling to see a glowing pink magenta ball rotating with pin-pricks of light coming out of it. The pink head of a pony poked out of one side of it, hooves dangling to the floor. Fluffle Puff looked to be having the time of her life as she slowly spun.

"She's been stuck up there since you guys left."

"What? Why haven't you tried to get her down?" Twilight flipped the lights back on.

Dan shrugged. "I don't have wings or magic."

"So you just left her up there?" Spike asked.

"I tried to pry her off with a ladder and a spatula. I came down twenty minutes later and the spatula was missing; I think her fluff absorbed it."

Spike put a claw on his chin. "Did you try spraying her with water or something?"

"Spike! She's not a cat," Twilight chastised her assistant.

"No, I did try that but she kept drinking the water."

Spike shrugged. "Well, at least she stayed hydrated."

Twilight sighed. Using her new wings, she flew up to the ceiling. With care, she untangled Fluffle Puff's fluff from the blades with a spell. The pony's body made a noise like Velcro as she was removed from the fan. Twilight then sat the pink puff ball pony on the floor and landed next to her.

"How was she making all those lights?" Spike asked. Fluffle Puff responded by coughing up a flashlight. Spike's reflexes caused him to catch the regurgitated light before it hit the floor but he quickly dropped it, recoiling from the gross, spat-up item.

Fluffle Puff stared at Twilight for a split second before gasping and embracing her and Spike in a fluffy hug. She licked the cheeks of both and then ran past them into the kitchen. The fluffy pony wasn't just a ball of hair; she was also a ball of energy. Twilight didn't even bother to ask how she'd gotten on the ceiling in the first place.

"You guys are always doing things like that," Dan continued, still upset. "You're always going off on some random errand and leaving me here with that pink demon and the Queen! In fact, if it wasn't for Queen Chrysalis, I would've left here a long time ago!"

"Since when did you start liking Queen Chrysalis?" Spike asked.

Dan turned away. "I've always felt strongly about the Queen! Her grace, her radiance, that power, it's just so much! There's no more beautiful creature in all of this world and she deserves all of our love!" he announced, placing a forearm on his head dramatically.

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Uh-huh. So, where is she?"

Dan turned back around. "She's probably out displaying more incredible, selfless acts of her good nature somewhere! You know how she is; always trying to help somepony in need."

"Really?" Twilight asked, a grin forming on her face. "I guess Chrysalis can be a good friend. I just wish she'd do something about the B.O," she said casually, eying 'Dan' with a peripheral gaze.

The dark-haired man gave his right armpit a self-conscious whiff. "I don't have B.O. And I shower every-"

"Ah-ha!" Twilight interrupted. Twilight aimed her horn and the imposter was enveloped in a magenta aura. The creature claiming to be Dan was lifted into midair.

"Hey! Put me down! What's the big idea?!"

Spike walked over and pulled up Dan's pant's leg. A round hole was just above the man's pale ankle. "Drop the act, Chrysalis. We know it's you," Twilight said.

"Drat..." the imposter said, his voice sounding liquid-like. "I still have trouble changing into bipeds..." The form of Dan quickly flashed and in a burst of light, transformed into the dark visage of Queen Chrysalis.

"Is it too much to ask for some peace and quiet around here?" Queen Chrysalis moaned, descending to the floor. "I was just getting used to the two of you being gone."

Spike folded his arms. "Just because we're not here doesn't mean you can glue Fluffle Puff to the ceiling fan."

Chrysalis blushed. "Actually, that was her idea."

"Oh," Twilight said. "Well, at least that's been taken care of now. Everything else looks fine," she said, looking around. "I don't think we forgot anything..."

Just then, the real Dan descended from the staircase, brushing his teeth. Spike waved at him.

"Hey, Dan! You do all right while we were-"

Dan's toothbrush fell out of his mouth as he noticed the two. He gritted his teeth, his eyelid twitched and it looked like his face was about to boil red. "And where have you two been?!!" he shouted.

Twilight and Spike explained what had happened in the Crystal Empire to their three guests. Chrysalis and Fluffle listened intently, hanging on the two's every word as they detailed their latest adventure. Dan sat with arms folded, still angry at the fact he'd been left behind.

"Well that's fantastic!" Dan yelled sarcastically. "Once again, you went off on some magical quest and you neglected to tell me! You always do this to me; you take off with all of your friends and you leave me here alone!"

"Dan... I'm really sorry," Twilight said. "But I did tell Fluffle Puff we were leaving."

"And you expected her to tell me?"

Fluffle Puff sat beside them, staring into blank space with her tongue out. She occasionally 'pbbthed' when someone finished a comment.

Spike shrugged. "I left her a note."

Dan turned to the pink ball. "You had a note all along and you didn't give it to me?!" Fluffle "pbbthed" again in response.

"Well? Where is it?!" Dan demanded.

A paper airplane shot out of Fluffle's fluff. Dan grabbed it.

"Dear Dan," he read. "Spike and I are going to..." he trailed off, his voice fading slowly. Frowning, he crumpled the paper and stood up.

"That does it. I'm out," Dan said, his voice flat with apathy and discontent. He walked towards the door.

"Dan wait," Spike said as Dan walked past him. "You don't have to leave."

He huffed. "I'm not sticking around where I'm not appreciated."

"But Dan..." Twilight trailed off. It was very clear the man intended to leave. "Where are you going to go?"

"I dunno! Someplace where I feel welcome, I guess!" He opened the door to Twilight's house and was greeted by the cold night air and stars in the dark sky above.

"Don't do this, Dan!" Twilight pleaded. "We're still friends!"

Dan turned at that comment. "Friends?! You spend more time with your five other friends than you do with me! And I live in the same house as you!"

"Well hey, I live here, too," Spike defended.

"Just because I don't have an Element of Harmony and I'm not a pony doesn't mean I deserve to be left behind while you're out saving the world!"

Twilight stopped and thought. She did tend to leave Dan alone when she was doing things with her other friends. She looked over at Spike who was casting an innocent glance at her. Dan wasn't the only one.

"Where are you going to go?" Twilight asked.

"I'm going home. Back where my friends actually bother to keep me in the loop!"

"Back to Earth?" Twilight asked. Dan hadn't spoken much about his home since he showed up. Twilight still had no idea how travel to another dimension was even possible.

"Yes, Earth!" Dan shouted. "Not like I have any other choice. Back to my studio apartment... in North Hollywood," his voice became laced with venom as he mentioned his home. "But at least there I'm not completely ignored!"

"How're you going to get back home?" Spike asked. He scratched his chin with his claw. "In fact, you never even told us how you got here."

Dan turned around slowly, teeth gritted and closed the door. "Oh, so you want to know about me now? How I got here?"

Spike and Twilight exchanged glances. "Yeah, if you don't mind."

"All right, fine! I'll tell you how I wound up in Equestria... but then I'm gone!" he declared.

"All right, Dan," Twilight nodded in agreement.

Dan walked into the center of the living room. "Thinking back, it was a day like any other day," he began. Twilight and Spike took eager seats on the floor. Fluffle Puff and Chrysalis appeared from the kitchen and took positions nearby to listen. Individual bags of popcorn sprouted out of Fluffle Puff's utility fluff. Spike grabbed one and proceeded to indulge while paying attention.

Trans-Atlantic Flight Random Made-up Number

Somewhere over the Pacific

"Attention passengers, this is your captain speaking," the voice from the intercom said. "On behalf of Trans-Tolerable Airways, I'd like to apologize for the slight navigational error. We should be arriving at San Garry's Mod International in another ahhhh... three hours."

The passengers in the cabin emitted a unanimous groan. "Slight navigational error" was an understatement; the pilot was obviously using this term to describe the fact that he missed the approach to San Garry's Mod airport and would've ended up taking the flight all the way to Japan if a flight attendant hadn't said something. Flight Random Made-up Number was originally supposed to be a short couple of hours from northern Canada back to California. Now, somewhere over the Pacific, the passengers were beginning to get agitated.

Dan, Chris and Elise were not pleased as they had to continue sitting in the cramped middle aisles of the coach section of the plane. Recently, the 'coach' section had been renamed the 'convenience' section as to avoid negative annotations.

"I don't believe this," Dan grumbled. "How does a plane MISS where it's supposed to land?"

Dan's friend Chris sitting next to him shrugged. "Maybe it's his first time in the area and he got lost?"

Dan paused for a moment, processing the suggestion and questioning his friend's intelligence. "...he's a pilot! How do you get lost in the SKY? Did he forget which way is up?!"

"If there's a problem with the instruments, it's actually very easy to lose your sense of direction while flying," Chris's wife Elise commented.

"So what is he going to do?! Stop and ask for directions?!" Dan shouted. A flight attendant passed by them. "Should I draw him a map?!! Go up to the cockpit, point over his shoulder and say, 'Hey genius! That's California!'"

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to remain seated," she instructed him.

"I AM seated!!" Dan raised his voice in anger. What was wrong with this airline?!

"Sir, I'm asking you to remain seated," the attendant repeated. Dan said nothing back. His eyelid twitched and he gestured to his seated position with both hands.

"Very good, sir." The attendant continued walking past.

The intercom crackled. "Attention passengers, we're about ready to begin your in flight movie: Revenge of the Nerds."

Dan's attitude changed immediately. "Wow, this might not be such a bad flight after all. Did you guys hear what movie they're showing?" he said, enthusiastically.

"Revenge of the Nerds? You actually like that movie, Dan?" Elise asked.

"Why wouldn't I? It's a classic, comedy gold! The acting in it is fantastic and the characters are amazing! I especially love that guy who plays Booger! The rest of this flight might not be so bad after all!"

Elise raised an eyebrow at Dan but didn't say anything else. At the front of the cabin, the flight attendant pulled down the screen for the film. Just when it reached the bottom, it snapped and rolled back up. She reached up to grab it and pull it down again. Once more, it snapped and rolled back up.

At the edge of the center aisle, Dan watched in frustration as the attendant struggled with the projector screen. Finally, she pulled out some duct tape and taped the projector down. Dan was relieved. The woman than got on her own private intercom and addressed the passengers in 'convenience' class.

Dan grumbled in his seat, growling like an enraged animal.

"Sir," a flight attendant stopped by him. "I'm going to have to ask that you remain seated."

That didn't make any sense. "But... I am seated! I can't not-remain seated!"

The flight attendant looked down at him. "Sir," she said in a sterner voice, "I'm asking you to remain seated."

What did that even mean?! "You're not making any sense! I'd have to stand in order to not-remain seated and-"

"Do not raise your voice at me, sir."

"You'd better calm down, Dan," Chris cautioned him. Was he supporting this nonsense?

Teeth gritted, hands balled, Dan gestured back to his seated position as he shook with anger and said nothing back.

The flight attendant hovered over him for a few uncomfortably quiet seconds. "Very good, sir," she said and went off.

The other flight attendant at the front of the cabin returned back from her station.

"Um," she began. "We only have one copy of Revenge of the Nerds on this flight. So the first-class passengers... I mean, the 'luxury'-class passengers are going to be watching that."

"So we don't even get a movie?!" Dan shouted again. A good portion of the cabin erupted in indignant outcries.

The attendant held up a hand. "Now, hold on. We do happen to have another in-flight movie for this cabin."

Chris smiled. "You hear that, Dan? They do have a movie for us. It's not gonna be that bad."

"So, for the viewing pleasure of all those in coach... I mean, whatever. It's Biodome with Pauly Shore," the flight attendant held up the movie.

Dan turned to Chris slowly, his rage building again. "...you were saying?! What am I going to do for three whole hours?! How could this possibly get any worse?!"

"But the good news is, it's on Blu-ray with ninety extra minutes of bonus features." Yet another uproar of dissatisfied groans was emitted from the passengers. The duct tape holding the screen down let loose and the screen rolled up again.

"This is fantastic," Dan said sarcastically. He leaned his head out into the aisle to try and see into the first-class cabin ahead of them. For a brief moment, he saw the corner of the first-class screen, only because it was so massive it took up most of the wall it was over. Another flight attendant closed the dividing curtain as she passed.

Dan balled his hands into fists, then leaned forward and grasped them behind his head. "I just want to get back to my apartment... I hope Mr. Mumbles is okay. She gets so lonely when I leave her for long trips."

"I thought you got kicked out of your apartment," Chris said.

"Wait," Elise interrupted. "You got kicked out of your apartment? When did that happen?"

"Last week," Chris answered. "Dan had a little problem with management at his apartment building."

"I was sick and tired of the vending machine at my apartment complex being out of order all the time," Dan began. "Despite multiple complaints and recommendations that it should be fixed in the complex's suggestion box, it remained broken. So, I did the only logical thing anyone in my situation would do."

"He stuffed the vending machine into the suggestion box," Chris revealed.

"That was my suggestion," Dan justified. "It wouldn't fit though."

Chris nodded. "So he hit it with an aluminum bat repeatedly and left it on top of the suggestion box in the main office."

"How did they find out it was Dan?" Elise asked.

"There were security cameras set up in the office." Dan turned away as Chris explained. "They installed them because someone made a recommendation... in the suggestion box."

"I just want to get back home!" Dan whined. He covered his face with his hands in despair.

Chris put a comforting hand on Dan's shoulder. "We'll be home soon, Dan. Why don't you read a magazine or something?"

With a heavy sigh, Dan slowly picked his head up. Looking forward, he grabbed one of the in-flight magazines from the pouch in front of him. What other choice did he have?

He tried to open the small brochure-sized piece of reading material to find the pages were stuck together. Placing his fingers on the edges, he tried to pry them apart. The magazine ripped along the insides rendering both pages illegible.

Dan's eyelid began twitching. "That does it... that does it!!" he began shaking with rage. He placed his hands on the center of the magazine's weak binding and tore it in half, then tore it again, ripping it to shreds.

"Sir," a flight attendant practically materialized next to him. "I'm going to have to ask you to remain seated."

Dan turned to her, exasperated. "But... but I-I am-"

"Sir," she said in a sterner tone. "I'm asking you to remain-"

"Grrrrrraaaaaaarrrrrghhh" he growled at the woman, about to explode.

Chris grabbed him by the shoulder again. "Dan, take it easy," he tried to calm him down.

Practically foaming at the mouth, entire body vibrating with a toxic anger, suddenly, Dan snapped. He realized there was nothing he could do to make the flight get to the destination faster. He was just going to have to deal with it. Releasing a slow breath, he turned to the flight attendant.

"Can I get up to use the restroom, please?"

The flight attendant nodded. "Of course, sir. It's at the back of the cabin next to the emergency exit."

"Thank you," Dan smiled and rose from his seat. "Be back in a minute guys," he told Chris and Elise.

Dan walked to the back of the plane feeling a little bit better just accepting his circumstances. He noticed the other passengers, some grumbling just like he had been. Dan would've still been just as angry as they had been but he reminded himself that soon they would be back at the airport and he would be home. Of course, what passed for home right now was his car. He didn't really have to use the bathroom at the moment but sitting somewhere quiet for a few minutes would give him some time to center himself and relax. And plot his revenge on the airlines.

Yes, he couldn't do anything at the moment... but when the plane landed, Dan was already devising a plan to make sure the pilot never got lost again. Which is why he was taking the ruined magazine with him to the bathroom. He was going to draw the pilot a map straight to California in whatever crude a fashion he could manage. And then he would forcibly tape it to the pilot's instruments along with his opinion of the airline.

He reached the back of the plane and saw the restroom right next to the emergency exit. He thought that was somewhat odd; someone could very easily mistake one for the other if they weren't careful. While the emergency exit door was clearly marked and the handle and surface were differently designed, they were right side-by-side. It would be something else he would bring to the airline's attention one way or another.

Dan placed his hand on the door to the restroom, clearly marked by the sign that read 'lavatory'. He turned the handle and opened the door.

Dan then noticed something very odd about the restroom. Specifically, there wasn't one on this flight. Or if there was, he didn't see it. He clearly remembered the sign on the door indicating it was a restroom but now that door was flying off into the distance, jettisoned off the plane. But now, he stared off into the open sky before him, unsure of what to do next. The realization then hit him: the airlines had labeled the doors incorrectly and he had opened the emergency exit by mistake.

All of this happened in the fractions of seconds and the shock didn't really hit Dan until he had already been sucked out of the cabin.

"Those idiots!" Dan said, falling. "I can't believe they mixed up the bathroom with the emergency exit! Someone should do something about that before somebody gets..." his eyes went wide as he trailed off. Falling on his back, he saw the plane fly away in the distance. In midair, he turned himself around so he faced the surface as he plummeted towards it. Underneath him expanding in all directions was the Pacific, nothing but blue as far as the eye could see. And that is when the shock hit him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Dan screamed as he fell.

Back on the plane, the cabin had already been re-pressurized. "Sorry for that unexpected turbulence, folks," the captain said over the intercom. "We're about ready to begin our final approach into San Garry's Mod International. We thank you for flying Trans-tolerable Airlines."

Dan continued to scream until his lungs got tired. The surface of the sea came closer and closer to him, threatening to rush up to him as he descended rapidly. He spread his arms and legs out, slowing his descent, not that he knew that would help; he was terrified. Heart racing, his mind began to drift back into his memories. All the good times and bad he'd shared with Chris and Elise, all the joys and sorrows, his precious pet cat Mr. Mumbles, his car. Dan regretted that he would never get to see them again. But more than anything else, he regretted that he would never get revenge on the various people that had wronged him.

Dan realized immediately that he would not survive the fall. Carefully, he grabbed his cell phone from his back pocket.

"Dear Chris and Elise," Dan typed into a text message as his eyes began to water. As his last act, he planned on sending Chris a text detailing all the people, places and things that had caused him injustice in the past along with a list explaining what he wanted to happen to each of them. When he was done, he hit send.

The phone bleeped an error message. "Two bars?! Cheap piece of junk! When I get my hands on the manufacturer, I'll wring his neck!" Just then, Dan realized the validity of the statement he'd just made. Once again, a pang of regret hit him as he fell; he wouldn't be able to exact revenge upon the cell phone company. He opened the unfinished text on his phone and added the phone's manufacturer to the list.

Dan watched the surface of the ocean continue growing closer as he plummeted. Slowly, he saw a white, puffy cloud edge closer into view below him. The cloud soon blocked his view of the ocean and he realized he was going to fall right through it. He raised his hands to cover his face as he passed through the white vapor.

For a brief moment, Dan was blinded. He couldn't see out of the whiteness of the cloud and it enveloped him entirely. He could still feel that he was falling though and the wind whipped around him. Quickly, it ended and he was able to see again.

Looking down, Dan noticed a change in the surface of the ocean. Specifically, the ocean was gone. Stretching out before him now was land; a rolling see of green, dark greens and browns. The entire landscape of the world had changed. What had happened? Moments ago, he had been staring at an expanse of sea and now it looked like he was over the mainland. Examining the entire world around him, he could make out forests, mountains in the distance, even roads.

Below him and coming into distance, he could make out more clouds, only denser than the ones before. He could see figures darting about them, like giant birds. All of these strange, new phenomenons didn't make sense to Dan but they also didn't change the fact he was falling without a chute. He screamed again.

"What is this?! What happened?! Where am I?!!" Dan yelled. He held his cell phone and tried to use the camera on it, not knowing what else to do.

"Hey buddy," a voice said to him. "I think you might need some help."

Dan looked up. Staring back at him as he fell was... well, he didn't know what it was. If he had to guess, it looked like some kind of sky-blue horse with wings... like a pony. A Pegasus pony.

"You okay? Where's your wings? Do you know magic?"

"Wings... magic?!" Dan shouted back. "I don't know any magic! And why would I have wings?!"

The creature looked puzzled. "Well, why would you be flying without wings or magic?"

"I'm NOT flying; I'm falling!"

"Ohhh," the blue creature said, understanding. She stopped flying along side him and he shot past her, continuing his rapid descent to the surface.

"AAAAAAHHH!!" Dan screamed again, not knowing what else to do. He tumbled as he full until he was able to straighten himself out. The surface began getting closer and closer. A dark green forest came into view as he plummeted. It looked to be where he would be landing.

Dan's heart began to race. Nervous fear rose in his throat. All though he was freezing cold, it felt like he was sweating. His eyes watered. He wondered, would it hurt or would the impact shock his nervous system so much he wouldn't feel the pain? He could see the treetops now. They were coming closer and closer; he could practically feel the surface racing towards him. This was it, he closed his eyes.

A crack of something, the sound of an explosion in the distance came from behind him. Wind rushed by him and something snatched him out of the air. His descent ended abruptly and now he was flying across the landscape instead of towards it at a blinding speed.

Dan opened his eyes. The blue creature was holding him, carrying him in its... hooves?

"What... what happened?" Dan asked.

"I just saved your life!" the creature answered. "You should never try flying without wings or magic."

Dan just stared back at the thing that had saved him. "Who... what are you?"

"I'm Rainbow Dash! Fastest flier there is!"

"So, wait," Spike interrupted, raising his claw. "First, what's a 'Biodome', what's an airline and what's a California?"

Dan thought for a split second. "Three things I'm happy I haven't seen in a while," he answered flatly.

Spike slowly lowered his claw.

"So that's how you got here?" Twilight asked. "I had no idea, Dan."

Dan's face turned furious. "Because you never asked me! You never ask me anything!"

"Now, that's not true, Dan," Twilight disagreed. "I asked you about Earth plenty of times. It's just, whenever I asked..."

Flashing back, Dan and the others recalled the instances when Twilight had been curious about Dan and where he comes from. Usually, his responses involved multiple reasons why he was glad to be gone, detailed descriptions of the various organizations and individuals out to take advantage of others or just long lists of people Dan didn't like.

He was quiet for a moment. "You... may have a point. Anyway, where was I?..."

"AAAAAAAhhh!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!" Dan screamed across the sky as he screamed across the sky. Holding him up by his shoulders, the blue flying creature carried him over the forest. Dan's shoes practically touched the treetops; they were only a scarce few meters off of the ground.

"Hey, calm down buddy!"

"Calm down?!" Dan asked, as if the notion not panicking was insane. "I just fell out of a plane! How do you expect me to calm down?!!"

"Well, you could try taking a deep breath. Count to ten, relax. I did just save your life, ya know."

The realization hit Dan. He wasn't falling to his doom any more; he was alive. He looked back up at his rescuer. "You... just saved my life? What are you even?! Where am I?"

"You're welcome, by the way," the creature replied, keeping its view facing forward. They pulled up to avoid the top of a larger tree.

"Well, how do I know you didn't just save me so you can eat me? How do I know you're not taking me back to your nest right now so you can feed your young?!"

"What?!" The creature looked down at him, appalled. "Did you hit your head on something? Ponies don't eat meat! Have you been hanging around dragons or hydras or something?"

It took a moment for Dan to process that comment. "Dragons... hydras... ponies?! Where the heck am I?! I was over the Pacific ocean when I was falling..."

"Well, I haven't been everywhere in Equestria but I'm pretty sure there aren't any oceans around here."

"Equestria...?"

Suddenly, Dan felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He started struggling to grasp it but it fell from his pocket as he tried to reach down for it.

"My phone!" he shouted.

"Your what?"

"Put me down! Put me down now!" Dan felt what was probably his only contact with Chris and Elise tumble out of his pocket and down into the forest beneath them as they flew. The creature stopped flying and hovered as Dan's struggling increased.

"Hey! Take it easy! You don't want me to drop you into the Everfree Forest; it's dangerous in there!"

Dan didn't cease his struggling. "Let me go! I have to get my-" The blue pony couldn't keep her grip as Dan squirmed. She dropped him and he fell into the forest below, disappearing into the sea of green.

"Ahhhgh! Agh, oh, agh *snap*, agh! *wump*" He fell through branches, scraped leaves and finally hit the forest floor, landing facedown. Bruised, scratched and vision blurry, Dan looked up around him in a daze. The canopy he'd crashed through made the floor almost pitch dark. Faintly, he heard what sounded like the voice of the creature calling for him in his ear before the darkness pressed in on the corners of his vision. The pain of the fall overcame him and he collapsed on his side, eyes finally closing shut as he fell unconscious.

Time passed. An hour, maybe two. In his mind, Dan saw visions, dreams of his friends back home. He dreamed of one thing in particular, the only other living thing that showed him absolute affection and that he loved more than anything else. His cat, Mr. Mumbles. He wondered about her, where she was, what she was doing without him. He thought of playing with her in his unconscious mind and even recalled the day the two met when he was trying to exact revenge on that animal shelter. He could practically feel his kitty licking his face.

No, that was actually something licking his face. Slowly, he was roused back into consciousness by the feeling of a tongue on his cheek. Dan opened his eyes to see... pink. And nothing else.

"Wha... what? What is this?" He got up on his hands and knees. Staring back at him appeared to be a giant ball of pink fluff with a head. He got to his feet.

"I... I don't have any food," he said to it. "I just fell out of the sky and I'm covered in dirt. I have nothing on me!" The pink ball of fluff said nothing but stared back at him. He backed away from it slowly. Then, it gasped and smiled at him.

"Please... just leave me alone!" The ball of fluff crept closer to him on four legs sticking out from under the fluff. It practically tip-toed over to him on its pink hooves, an open-mouthed smile stuck on its face.

"Someone help! Police! It's a... pink!" he shouted into the forest. Nothing answered him. The ball crept closer and then finally pounced on him, tackling him to the ground.

"Get off of me! Help! Someone, help!" The creature licked his face furiously. "Stop! No, stop, heh, stop it! That tickles!" The pink ball of fluff didn't relent. Finally, Dan had had enough. Grunting, he wriggled his way out from under it.

Panting, he stood again. "What... the... fluff..." The strange animal didn't jump on him; it just stared at him with an open-mouthed smile.

Dan still braced himself for another attack. "What... what do you want?"

Something materialized out of the side of the creature's furry body as it looked at him; a small, rectangular device that Dan recognized immediately.

"My phone!" Dan shouts, taking a step forward. He quickly hesitates though and recoils a step, fearing the animal. The creature must've recognized Dan's reaction; it noticed the object lodged in the upper parts of its fluff. Reaching up with one of its pink hooves, it pulls out the phone. Dan watches as the creature examines the phone, sniffing it and then staring into its reflective screen.

Dan had no idea what kind of animal it was playing with his phone. If he had to guess, it was some kind of small, pink bear. He practically shook with fear; how he got away when it was on top of him, he had no idea. He hoped he could get his phone back but he didn't want to risk getting closer to it to try.

The pink ball then noticed Dan looking at the phone it was holding. It quickly glanced back at the device it was investigating and then back at Dan. Its open-mouthed smile returned and then it began walking over to him.

"No! No, stay back! You can keep it! Just stay away!" Dan pleaded. He continued backing away as the fluffy animal advanced upon him. The side of a tree blocked his path backwards; he pressed himself up against it. This was it. He had no place to go, nowhere to run. It got closer and closer now. Dan closed his eyes, turned away and shook as the thing walked right up to him.

"I'm warning you! I was trained by the Green Berets! They trained me to weave baskets underwater and make lanyards out of grass and leaves but I spent the forty dollars!"

But instead of jumping on him, skinning him alive or the dozen other horrible things going through Dan's mind at that moment, the pink ball of fluff only tapped him on the back with its furry foreleg. Dan turned around to see the creature smiling up at him, holding his cell phone for him. He looked down at his phone in the creature's hoof. Was it presenting it to him?

"Are you... giving this back to me?" Dan asked, wary and confused. The strange hairy thing must've understood him because it nodded emphatically at his words. He reached out and took his phone. Dan realized that the creature just wanted to give it back to him. "Thank... thank you," he said, smiling at the pink puff ball. The creature smiled again and gave him a small hug, nuzzling its furry body into his side.

For whatever reason, Dan thought of Mr. Mumbles in that instant. He imagined his precious kitty snuggling up to him and comforting him in his hours of need. Somehow, this giant mass of fur reminded him of his cat, one of his only friends in the world.

"You're pretty friendly, aren't you?" Dan said to the creature in a soft voice. He gave it a pat on the head and it smiled in response. "What's your name?" he asked.

"Her name is Fluffle Puff," a voice answered him. Dan looked around, searching for the speaker but he saw nothing. The shadows of the canopy above made the spaces between trees almost pitch-black.

"Who said that? Who's there?" Dan demanded.

Stepping out of the shade was a creature almost as dark as the shadows themselves. Unlike the pink creature in front of him, this one was taller and appeared less hairy, perhaps even hairless. It appeared to be some sort of slender horse but with a slightly menacing visage. It looked back at him with dark, unblinking eyes as it approached. The pink ball of fluff walked over to it.

"Who are you?" Dan asked.

"I am Queen Chrysalis... or, just Chrysalis." The pink creature hugged it and the two embraced for a moment. "Fluffle Puff seems to have taken a liking to you. What is your name?"

"I'm Dan... and I must be dreaming. Yep. This is all just a dream," Dan looked around. Two strange, talking creatures in front of him, that seemed to be the most logical explanation. But then, another entered his mind. "Or maybe I really did hit the ground and I'm dead," he said in a frightened tone. "That must mean... this is..."

"This is the Everfree Forest," Chrysalis answered. "It's one of the most dangerous places in Equestria and it's not safe to travel here alone. You should come back with us to Ponyville."

Equestria... Ponyville... And hadn't the flying one said something about ponies? Dan looked back at the creatures who stared at him. He must've somehow landed in another world, one apparently inhabited by talking ponies. He hesitated at their offer though, still weighing his options. Could he really trust these strange beings?

"Come with us. We can take you to where it's safe," Chrysalis encouraged.

Dan looked back at his phone; it still only had two bars and no network connection. "I... all right," he said. The pink one gasped again and ran over to his side. He almost backed away again as it ran up to him but the magenta fur ball just grabbed his hand with one of its hooves and starting tugging him along. A stranger in a strange land, Dan allowed himself to be led by the two creatures through the forest.

Before long, the three of them reached the edge of the forest. The underbrush was thick and several times, Dan saw Chrysalis use some sort of strange energy to cut through low-hanging branches and leaves. They made quick progress and finally they stepped out of the shade of the enormous trees and into the sunlight. That was when Dan caught first glimpse of a town.

"This is Ponyville," Chrysalis said. Dan saw colorful buildings in the distance and even a train. None of the buildings were higher than a couple stories at most. There were no skyscrapers, traffic lights, vehicles or even streets. He saw more of the ponies, also brightly colored, traveling about the dirt roads into town. He noticed some of the ponies flying like the one that caught him and even ones with horns on their heads. But it was what he didn't notice that bothered him.

They approached the entrance to the town. He decided to ask, "They're all ponies. Where are the people?"

Chrysalis turned to him, "People?" she asked, not understanding.

"People, humans. Like me?" Dan clarified. He felt like he was talking to an alien or an infant.

"I don't know what a 'human' is but I'm fairly certain I've never seen anything like you before. Not around here, anyway."

A strange mixture of sadness and regret struck Dan. The thought of being the only human somewhat frightened him. He stopped in the middle of the street, starting to breath a little bit heavier. Suddenly, he felt like he was surrounded by aliens, completely alone on another planet. His eyes darted between the various creatures around them, from the ones that trotted through the streets, the ones that pulled wagons and the ones that flew through the sky. He watched one Pegasus fly down to a unicorn pony watering the flowers out of the second-floor window of a house. They were everywhere; he was surrounded.

Dan's gaze dropped to the ground. Should he try to find his way home? How did he even get here? What was he going to do in a world dominated by ponies? Chrysalis noticed his despair.

"Dan? Are you all right?"

"All right?" Dan asked, despair quickly turning to frustration. "All right?! Am I 'all right'?!" What kind of question was that, even? How could he possibly be 'all right'? All of his friends were gone; no more Chris and Elise, no more Mr. Mumbles, no more Elise's parents, no more people... no more people... no more... wait. Something clicked with Dan just then. No more people. No more people. No more traffic jams, no solicitors, no DMV, no cops, no politicians, no lawyers, no more people cutting him off on the freeway, no more people! This was a dream come true!

"I'm... I'm..." A smile crept over Dan's face as he spoke. No more taxes, no more false advertisements, no more people to screw him over and get away with it! "I'm fantastic! I'm the only human here! I'm the only human here!!"

Chrysalis was getting kind of confused. "Well... I guess that's..." she trailed off, not knowing what to say.

"Some old guy told me things would be great without human beings
and I used to think he was crazy but now I see what he means!
The grass is greener, the sun is brighter and the skies are crystal clear!
And I have hunch it's all because I'm the only human here!

"Is... is he singing?"

Dan popped up in between Chrysalis and Fluffle Puff. "Let me explain-"

"The world I come from is crazy; it's hard just to have a life.
And where people could help each other, most just keep adding to the strife.
All the suffering could be solved if humanity started uniting
But they'll never learn to put aside their differences or at least stop the fighting!
But with humans gone, all the problems of the world have just disappeared!
So you could say I'm overjoyed to be the only human here!

As Dan was retelling this story in the living room of Twilight's house, he approached Twilight and the others to look them right in the face.

Let's talk about humanity
And the way that we've evolved
Look at all the things we've done
And the problems we have solved
For every step forward that we've taken,
Soon we find out that we're mistaken
And all the rules that we keep makin'
We can't seem to go long without breakin'
Nor can we even find a solution
To crime, disease, war or pollution
But now I hear the resolution and it's ringing in my ear!
So, yes I'm glad to find that I'm the only human here!

"You're... happy that you're the only one of your kind?" Chrysalis asked.

"You bet I am!" Dan said, swinging from an all-too conveniently placed streetlamp.

Now Chrysalis was even more confused. "You're not sad or anything?"

"Of course not! And here's why-"

"You might think that without other humans that I'd be feeling lonely
but in truth it's quite the opposite, let me tell ya, my little pony.
No more parking tickets, telemarketers or commercials on t.v!
No more bureaucrats or censors complaining that I'm not PC!
They're all gone and their nonsense isn't around me, far or near!
So I couldn't be more glad...
No I just couldn't be more glad...
This place might be strange but it ain't bad cuz I'm the only
Single
HUUUU-
MAAAAAAAAN
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!!!!
*jazzy finale*

Dan panted as he stood in the middle of the street. Intricate dance numbers can take a lot out of you. A sound he recognized but didn't expect to here drew his attention behind him. He turned around slowly and felt his heart hit the back of his throat.

A strange figure was clapping in the middle of the road next to Fluffle Puff. "Bravo! Bravo, good sir!" Dan recognized the individual immediately. The dark hair, pale skin, blue jeans and black t-shirt emblazoned with the word 'jerk' on the front in all capital letters all looked uncomfortably familiar. Standing in the middle of the road applauding Dan was... Dan. The only thing different was the word 'jerk' was spelled backwards.

"What... the... fu-"

"Funny, I don't find myself imitating bipeds that often, especially not dragons. It's confusing how you walk on two legs all the time," the other Dan remarked.

Dan stormed over to the imposter. "What's going on? Who are you?!"

"Well, I'll tell you one thing I'm not is a singer," other Dan answered with a chuckle.

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Relax, relax! It's just me!" the other Dan said defensively. The imposter's eyes glowed green and then suddenly he transformed back into Chrysalis. "Ahahaha, I had you going for a minute didn't I?"

Dan took a step back. "What was that? How did you-"

"I'm a changling," Chrysalis said. "Using my magic, I can transform into any creature I want. It's a complex spell and only changlings can use it."

"Magic? You can do magic?"

"Of course," she replied and raised an eyebrow. "You're not from around here, are you?"

"No... I'm not. I'm from Earth. And I'm not even sure how far away that is."

"I see. When I saw you fall out of the sky, I was pretty sure you weren't from the Everfree Forest. Then again, we don't see very many dragons around here anyway."

"Wait," Dan stopped her. "I'm not a dragon; I'm a human. Didn't you listen to the song?"

Chrysalis' eyes dropped looked away. "I kinda tried not to..."

"I am a HUMAN," Dan spelled it out for her. "I'm from Earth where ponies DON'T talk, DON'T use magic and CAN'T fly."

Fluffle Puff 'pbbthed' a response to that.

"Do you know how you got here?" Chrysalis asked.

"No idea at all. I suppose I'm happy to be alive but... I have no idea what this place is."

"We should take you to see Twilight. She'll know what to do."

"Okay... but if you're going to change into me again, at least get the shirt right."

Chrysalis turned to him. "What? What was wrong with it?"

"You got the logo backwards. It's JERK not KREJ."

"Oh... drat. I always have trouble with transforming into bipeds."

With that, Dan allowed the pink puff ball and slender morphing creature to lead him through the town of colorful buildings. Every house looked like it was made out of gingerbread or candy. The pastel-colored walls created a rainbow of structures on either side of the street. Each house was unique in its own way and Dan got the odd feeling like he was walking through an amusement park or a studio backlot.

"I haven't been here long myself," Chrysalis said as they walked. "Not long ago, I was somewhat of an outcast. I've had my problems with some of the residents in the past and I did a few things I'm not really proud of. But then I found Fluffle Puff and soon after that, the two of us were found by Twilight Sparkle and her friends. While we did have some history before, she invited us to live with her. And we've been here in Ponyville ever since."

"And you think this Twilight will be able to help me?" Dan asked.

"She's very gifted with magic. If anypony can help you out, Twilight can."

"So, we're essentially off to see some wizard?"

"Unicorn," Chrysalis corrected.

"Whatever," Dan replied.

Eventually, the reached a large circle just off the center of town where the rows of buildings parted and formed a ring. In the center was a single, enormous tree. As they got closer to it, Dan realized the tree had been built on and into, like a house had been made out of it where it stood.

Chrysalis approached and opened the door without knocking. "Hello? We're home, is anyone else here?"

The three stepped inside. Dan could immediately tell whoever lived here liked books; there were shelves of tomes lining most of the walls. A small purple creature on two legs walked over to them.

"Hey guys, oh, is someone with you?"

"Yes, this is a new visitor to Ponyville. His name is Dan."

"Oh, well, hello Dan," the purple creature greeted him in a male voice. "It's nice to meet another dragon."

Dan stared down at the lizard-like animal. "I'm a human. From Earth," he corrected.

"What kind of a dragon is a human?" Spike asked with a claw to his chin.

"I'm NOT a dragon," Dan said, getting annoyed. "I'm a human being. I don't do magic, I don't fly and I don't know why I'm here."

"Wow... well, Twilight can probably help you. But she's out right now; Rainbow Dash came by and they went to the Everfree Forest looking for some kind of creature that fell out of the sky."

Dan practically facepalmed. "I AM that creature. What they're looking for is me."

"OH," Spike said, understanding. "So, how were you flying without wings or magic?"

"Simple: I wasn't."

"What?"

Dan walked further into the living room to orate. "You know what happens between the time you jump off some place high and land at the bottom?"

"Falling?"

"Exactly." Why was that so hard for these creatures to understand?

Just then, the door opened and Twilight entered.

"Hi everyone, we're back," the purple unicorn said as she entered. Rainbow Dash flew in alongside her and Fluffle Puff gasped and ran over to hug them both as they stepped inside.

"We're back, too," Chrysalis said. "And we brought company."

"Hey! It's you! You're the one that was trying to fly!" Rainbow Dash said, pointing at Dan.

"I wasn't TRYING to fly; I was..." Dan stopped. He looked around at the unfamiliar faces surrounding him, the strangers he'd tried telling his predicament to. "You know what? I'll tell you later." He'd tried explaining this so many times in the last hour or so, he was tired of it. Now that he was inside a house, he could feel a huge amount of jetlag setting in.

"So, you're Twilight Sparkle?" Dan asked.

"Yes. I'm a student of Princes-"

"Great," Dan interrupted. "Would you mind if I stayed here a couple days?"

Twilight was unsure. "I, well, I guess so-"

"Thanks," Dan replied. A glazed smile spread over the young man's face and slowly, Dan's body began to lean forward. In one motion, he slammed fast-first onto the floor of Twilight's living room. The others moved in closer to him to see if he was all right. A steady stream of 'z's informed them that their guest was already fast asleep.

"Wow," Spike said. "What a weird... guy."

"He fell out of the sky, he's not from around here and he's from a place where ponies don't talk," Chrysalis explained.

"You're sure he's not a dragon?" Twilight asked.

"No, I don't think so. Dragons don't sing like that."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Spike quirked an eyebrow.

"We'll let him sleep for now," Twilight said, looking at the strange creature sleeping in front of her. "I'm sure he'll tell us eventually."

Dan concluded his story by pacing over to the spot where he'd collapsed in Twilight's living room. "...and that's pretty much it." He looked over to his audience who were all speechless. Because they had apparently all dozed off during the story. Fluffle Puff was asleep with her mouth open while Spike and Chrysalis were snuggled up on the fluffy pony's pink body asleep as well. Twilight poked the three with a hoof, rousing them.

"Uh... great story, Dan," Spike yawned.

"So, this is what you meant when you said you'd tell me later?" Twilight asked.

"Um... yes," Dan replied, trying not to sound guilty. "I must've forgot because YOU didn't remind me. It's like I don't even exist to you sometimes!"

"Okay, Dan," Twilight said, smiling, "If you want to be more involved with me and my friends, I'd be happy to have you join us the next time we're doing something." Sometimes it was better for Twilight to just let the little things go. Especially when Dan certainly didn't.

"Thank you," Dan said, stressfully. "That's all I really wanted."

Twilight walked over to him. "It's no problem, Dan. That's what the magic of friendship is all about," she said, reaching up to put a hoof on his shoulder. Dan looked back at Twilight Sparkle, now an alicorn and a princess and thought of how lucky he was to have her hospitality. How lucky he was to have found a friend. For a moment, the room was silent and Dan smiled.

The door to Twilight's house burst open. "Hey everypony!" Pinkie Pie shouted inside. "We just got back to Ponyville today!"

Twilight giggled. "Yes, Pinkie, we know."

"That's not the point, Twilight! We just got back in town and we still haven't had a party!"

"Don't you think it's a little late for a party, Pinkie?" Twilight asked.

Pinkie shook her head. "How else do you expect to have a 'we just got back to Ponyville today' party? You have to do it while the 'just' is still fresh!"

"She has a point," Spike thought aloud.

"I'm up for some fun," Chrysalis added.

Twilight giggled again. "All right, Pinkie, I guess we're in."

Dan rose his hand out to the others. "Hey, are you going to-" he was about to ask if they were going to invite him.

"Come on, everypony! Let's go party!!" Pinkie Pie shouted, leaving the door open as she bolted into the night. Twilight, Chrysalis, Fluffle Puff and Spike ran out to follow her leaving Dan behind in midsentence.

He stood in the center of the living room with his mouth hanging open. Silence answered his half-question and slowly, the wind blew the door closed leaving him alone.

Dan's eye twitched. They'd left him behind. AGAIN. They'd forgotten about him. AGAIN. They'd gone off to have a party in the middle of the night without him. AGAIN. Anger boiled inside of him. His entire body shook with rage.

Teeth gritted, fists balled up and face burning red, Dan threw his arms up to the ceiling and shouted, "MAGIC OF FRIENDSHIP!!!!"

Just then, the door to the house opened again. Twilight's head poked in from the outside. "Hey Dan, would you like to come party with us?" she asked.

Dan lowered his arms and calmly looked back to Twilight. "Nah, I'm gonna go play Skyrim," he turned around and headed to the stairs. Twilight shook her head and closed the door, leaving her friend to join them when he wanted to.

Fim-fin

And coming soon on Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship...
More Dan Vs. Drama
"But Dan, this is really important!"
"I don't care! I'm not anyone's special somepony!"
Dan Vs. Danger
"You put the engine in backwards!"
"I just don't know what went-"
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
Dan Vs. Discord?
"Just act natural."
"Grrrrrrrrrrrrr..."
"Why are you growling at me?"
"Because it's natural for me to despise you!"
Dan Vs. Customer Service
"Hi, welcome to StopGame. Your problems are relevant to me for the next fifteen seconds."
And Dan Vs. Destiny...
"What does this mean?! What does any of this mean?!"
"It's not a tattoo, Dan. It's a cutie mark."
"What..?"
"You have a destiny in Equestria."
All this and more in the first season of Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship!
The all-new series from Broadcaster Productions- Stories to read out loud.
It's more Dan than you can han...dle.
Only available on FIMFiction.net.

Author's Notes:

Hello and thank you for reading Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship Season 1, Episode 1! I can't thank you enough for taking the time to read this, the very first step into a larger world I and so many others have worked so hard to create.

Before you continue, I must advise you that the road ahead is rocky and is not quite up to the standard of this first chapter in many places. It needs editing, in other words and a lot of work and rewriting that I'm unable to give it at present. Some episodes are long, some are complicated, some have twists and others stray a bit from the canon and the characters. But each tells a bit more about the overarching story of Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship, a world that incorporates many ideas from many sources.

I do hope you enjoy what is a very long but also a very fun journey updated every Saturday. If nothing else, I hope it provides some entertainment each week. I recommend taking it an episode at a time and keeping an open mind. If you do decide it's not for you, I at least hope that you did enjoy the first episode. For those that wish to continue, proceed to the next episode. A thrilling adventure filled with excitement, conflict and friendship awaits!

Episode 2: Dan Vs. Trixie

Intro: Rise Up- Theme of Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship

One day,
You wake up to find~
Nothing
That you know is right!
Feels like
You've gone completely blind
But somehow, you can still see the light~

You can show any rule
You're not scared to defy it
Show the world some healthy opposition
If there's something new, you're not afraid to try it
And you're free to make your own decisions
This is your life- no matter what others say~
Rise up! You can face the day!

So you're stuck
There's not much you can do
It's like
Everything's out to get you
But still
You can still find a way to forge a path and make your dreams come true!

You can show the whole world
You're not scared to believe it!
Stand tall and defend your position!
No matter how cold the truth is, you're not afraid to receive it!
And keep moving forward with your own mission!
This is your life- you've gotta live it your own way
Rise up! You can face the day!

It's tough to see what the truth really is
When all you've got is mixed messages
Seems like the problems that come around
Are setup just to keep you down
Nothing seems right!
And it's like your entire life's just plight after plight!
But no matter what the problem is or how long the struggle's length,
You can still find the courage to stand, to find your inner strength~

You can show any rule
You're not scared to defy it!
Show the world some healthy opposition!
If there's something new, you're not afraid to try it!
Because you're free to make your own decisions!
This is our world! The game is on and we're gonna play!
We'll rise up! We can face the day!

Dan and the others woke up early the next morning. They sat down at the kitchen table to eat a modest, quiet breakfast at home consisting of bowls of shredded oats. Fluffle Puff engulfed her entire bowl in her mouth and then spat it out, minus the contents of cereal and milk. It was just like any other morning at Twilight's house despite what had transpired the night before.

Twilight ate slowly from her own bowl, half-waiting for Dan to say something. He'd told her that he wanted to be more involved with Twilight and her friends but she didn't know how he planned to accomplish that. Was he planning on following them around all day? She watched him out of the corner of her eye as she ate. But the young man didn't say anything; he just sat there occasionally lifting his spoon to eat as he read from a folded newspaper in the other hand.

Spike broke the silence. "So, we got anything planned for today, Twilight?"

Casually, all the eyes around the table drifted towards Twilight. She swallowed uncomfortably, quickly trying to form a response.

"Um, I don't think we have anything really planned for today, Spike," Twilight said with forced smile.

"Huh, that's strange. Normally, we always have something to do," Spike remarked as he ate from a bowl full of gems. Dan raised an eyebrow at the alicorn.

Twilight maintained her composure, trying not to sound nervous despite that she was almost sweating. "I might update some of my scrolls later but I don't think we have any pressing matters to attend to right now." She answered Spike even though her eyes were still mostly on Dan. But as she answered, he simply went back to reading the newspaper and soon the table was silent again.

And then there was a knock on the door.

"Fluffle Puff, dear, you think you could get that?" Chrysalis asked. The amorphous ball of hair gasped and then lowered her body to the floor. The table shook as she crawled underneath it and Dan and the others had to steady their silverware.

"Hey, Fluffle Puff," Rainbow Dash's voice said from the door. A gasp responded to her followed by a pause. "Hey Twilight! I'm gonna take everypony for a cloud ride today, you want to come?"

"Sure, Rainbow, that sounds awesome!" Twilight said with enthusiasm. She almost walked out the door to join Rainbow Dash right then and there but a cold tingling at the back of her spine stopped her in her tracks. She turned around to see Dan sitting at the kitchen table, looking at her with an inquisitive look on his face.

She turned back to Rainbow Dash. "Rainbow, do you think Dan could come with us?"

Rainbow looked over Twilight to the man sitting in the kitchen. "I guess so. Doesn't he normally just hang out at your house though?"

"Yeah... he was feeling left out lately, so I thought of inviting him to do some things with us."

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "How many things?"

"I... have no idea," Twilight admitted.

"Well, I guess he can come along. Just as long as he doesn't try to fly again or anything."

"Great!" Twilight said, forcing some eagerness. She turned back to Dan. "Um, Dan?" she asked innocently.

"Yes, Twilight?" Dan asked back, smiling and batting his eyelashes innocently.

"Would you like to come with us for a cloud ride?"

"I'd love to!" Dan shouted, jumping up from the table. "Thank you for inviting me, Twilight!" He ran over and hugged the purple mare. "Let's get going!"

"Wait," Twilight stopped as Dan stepped outside. She turned to the others in the kitchen. "What about Spike, Chrysalis and Fluffle Puff? You guys want to come with us?"

"Nah," said Spike. "We have to give Fluffle Puff a bath today." The pink ball 'pbbthed' and shook in response. Her head recoiled into the rest of her fluff, forming an impenetrable sphere of cuddly pink pony, the most secure defense known in Equestria. She was going to be difficult. "You and Dan have fun! Tell Rarity I said hi!"

"We will!" Twilight called through gritted teeth. Twilight wasn't looking for a reason not to take Dan but she was looking for something to make the situation a little less... awkward. And she was failing. But it's always awkward when you mix things up a bit so she wasn't worried. Not that much, anyway. She followed the others out of the quiet and safety of her home. The group began walking down the familiar Ponyville street.

Dan breathed in sharply. "Finally! I'm actually getting to do something with you guys!"

"Yeah... it'll be fun," Rainbow remarked, a distinct lack of confidence in her tone. She leaned over to Twilight as they walked. "So, why are we bringing Dan along with us?"

"He's feeling left out, wants me to take him with us when we go... 'adventuring'," Twilight whispered. Dan was so ecstatic he was actually leading the way ahead of them, unable to hear them talk about him.

"Does he know magic or anything?" Rainbow asked, watching the young man happily marching ahead of them.

"No..." Twilight admitted.

"Well, what can he do?"

Twilight thought for a moment. "He's... loud."

"Loud?" Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "Don't we already have Pinkie for that?"

"Well, we'll see what he can do," Twilight said confidently. It was true that they didn't know much about Dan. Maybe they could be surprised?

"Okay..." Rainbow Dash still sounded uncertain.

"Think of like this: you'll have someone new to show off all your tricks to."

The rainbow Pegasus smiled. "Hey yeah, you're right! I bet there no one can fly as fast as me where he's from!"

Twilight smiled. "I think flying fast is something he'd be very impressed with."

The three turned a corner to the Ponyville square to see a huge crowd in the town center. From the back of the crowd, Pinkie Pie turned around to see the group approaching.

"Guys! Over here!" Pinkie waved them over. Fluttershy, Rarity and Applejack were standing next to her in the crowd. They turned around to face others as they walked over to them.

"What are you guys doing here?" Rainbow asked, confused. "I thought you were getting ready to go cloud riding."

"We were!" Pinkie said. "But then this huge crowd appeared out of nowhere and we kinda got swept up in things."

"What is this even for?" Dan asked, looking over the ponies.

"It's Trixie's new magic show," Applejack informed them. "She's giving it another shot in Ponyville, it seems."

"Didn't she already try this?" Rainbow Dash asked, skeptical.

Twilight turned to her. "She's still a magician, Rainbow Dash and she's not like she used to be. She's changed."

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "Uh huh..." she replied to Twilight. Dan was one thing but Trixie? She was even more skeptical.

"It's the truth, Rainbow," Twilight affirmed. "After what happened with the Alicorn Amulet, Trixie's really turned things around. You should've seen her at the demonstration for the Saddle Arabians. Trixie's our friend now and she's really reformed." Twilight turned back to the stage with a smile on her face. She truly believed every word she had just said.

"Salutations once again, Ponyvillians!! Presented for you once more is the GRRRRREAT and POWERFUL TRIXIE!!" The curtains pulled back on the stage in front of the audience. Fireworks erupted from the base and spinning sparklers twirled atop the wooden set. In a flash of light, a lite blue unicorn in matching purple pointed hat and cape appeared on stage to an awed audience.

"Yeah. She looks really reformed all right," Rainbow Dash commented on the display.

Dan's face was lit up. "What are you talking about? Did you guys see that?! That was amazing!"

Every single one of Twilight's friends slowly turned their heads to Twilight. The purple unicorn blushed horribly and smiled sheepishly.

"So, who's up for a cloud ride?" Rainbow Dash asked, pulling away from the crowd. Her friends started following her.

"You guys are leaving? You don't want to see the show?" Dan asked. Why were they walking away? The show looked like it was going to be spectacular!

"Uh...nah, we've seen it before, Dan," Rainbow Dash explained.

"Yeah, I think we'll skip this one, Dan..." Twilight said. She noticed her friend's slight disappointment. "But you can stay and watch it if you want to."

Dan looked back to the stage and then turned back to his friends. "No... that wouldn't be right. You invited me to go cloud..."

"Riding,"

"Yes, that and that's what we're going to do. Let's get going," Dan said and joined the group as they departed.

"You! Yes, you in the back!!" Trixie's voice shouted. Dan, Twilight and the others turned to see every pony in the crowd staring at them. "You! The two-legged one! The great and powerful Trixie requires your assistance!" the magician declared. The audience of ponies in front of them looked at the young man with eager anticipation. They became loud as they waited for Dan to ascend to the stage.

Dan turned back to Twilight among the crowd's outcries. "What do I do?" Dan asked over the shouting.

Twilight didn't really have an answer. "I don't know. I remember the last time she asked someone to go up on stage-"

"Go up on stage?" Dan asked, only hearing part of Twilight's answer. "You're sure?!"

Twilight raised her voice. "I don't know if you should go up on stage-"

"All right, I'm going! Wish me luck!" Dan shouted back, the crowd coming together and practically carrying him forward.

"Dan, wait I said-" But it was too late. He was already halfway through the audience by the time Twilight tried to stop him.

"Trixie thanks the volunteer for his assistance!" Trixie proclaimed as Dan climbed up on stage. Twilight and her friends shoved their way through the crowd, quickly edging their way to the front row.

"Greetings, good sir! Introduce yourself for the great and powerful Trixie!"

"Uhh, I'm Dan," he replied awkwardly.

"Welcome, Dan! Now, let me ask you this..." the mare turned around and pulled a pedestal with a top hat on it out from behind a curtain. "Are you at all familiar with magic?"

"Well, yes. I mean, no," Dan stammered. "I mean, I've had problems with 'magicians' before but these were frauds. They didn't actually know how to perform real magic."

"Parlor tricks! Illusions and shenanigans, I assure you!" Trixie closed her eyes and scoffed. "Trixie's spells are only the most masterful examples of sorcery in all of Equestria!" she declared. A jet of green flame erupted from the hat ending her sentence. A light rumble echoed out as a portion of the audience applauded.

Dan's eyes actually narrowed as he got a closer look at the demonstration. "I dunno... I've seen a lot of magic." He took a look around the stage. "Something about your trick seems a little fake."

Trixie spun around and glared at him. "You might think it's fake but. This. Is. REAL MAGIC!

"We've seen it all before!" a random pony from the audience shouted.

"Real magic?" Dan asked, his tone now skeptical. "Well, my friend Twilight Sparkle just so happens to be able to-"

"Oh of course, of course," Trixie interrupted and dismissed Dan's comment. "But Trixie's spells are mysterious and not normally seen by those in Ponyville!"

"They're not normally seen because nopony bothers coming to your show!" a Pegasus hovering above the crowd shouted. Trixie gritted her teeth and growled at the heckler.

"So, what trick am I going to participate in?" Dan finally asked.

"Ah, yes," Trixie turned back to Dan. "Trixie was recently on a great and noble quest to the far reaches of the Crystal Empire! There, Trixie learned the art of vanishing spells! Using these rare magical techniques, Trixie can make a subject completely... disappear!"

That actually caught Twilight's attention. "Disappearing magic?"

"What's wrong, Twi?" Applejack asked from a few ponies over.

"I'm not sure. I've never heard of magic that can make things disappear before."

"I dunno," Rainbow remarked from overhead. "She's definitely making this crowd disappear..." Several ponies had already trotted off. After the cheesy pyrotechnics display, they were leaving in droves.

"You have nothing to fear!" Trixie said. She prepared to cast the spell, her horn glowed with magic and she reared back on her hind legs. "Trixie's skills are entirely unmatched! Now, watch Ponyville, as Dan disappears from your very eyes!"

Without warning, the blue unicorn blasted the young man standing before her. An electric ray arced from Trixie's horn and collided with Dan, enveloping him in a bright, blue aura. The aura exploded in a flash, momentarily blinding the entire audience.

"Behold! Trixie has-" she stopped midsentence. The remaining dozen or so ponies left in the audience along with Twilight and her friends weren't exactly surprised to see Dan still standing right where he'd been hit with the spell. No, in fact, Trixie's spell not working was something they'd all expected. What they were unprepared to see was the fact that her spell had at least partially succeeded. But only partially.

"Did it work? Am I invisible or something?" Dan asked. He quickly examined himself. Arms, legs, clothes, all seemed to be fine yet Trixie stood in front of him with her mouth agape. He turned to his friends in the crowd.

"What happened?"

Dan's friends were speechless, too, all except Pinkie Pie. The pink mare cringed, covered her mouth and then burst out in laughter.

"Dan..." Twilight started but stopped herself, holding a hoof over her mouth.

"What's going on? It didn't work, did it?"

"Oh, it worked all right," Rainbow Dash said, on the verge of tears herself. "If she was only trying to make your hair disappear!"

"My... hair?" Dan asked. He placed his hands on his scalp and felt only bare skin and the now-exposed top of his head. His eyes went wide as the realization hit him: his hair was gone. He was completely bald. An inhuman amount of rage slowly built within him. He turned to the magician responsible for this.

"You made my hair disappear?"

"Uhm, yes," Trixie said nervously, backing away. "And now for her next trick... Trixie will make herself disappear!" A plume of blue smoke burst at her hooves, obscuring Dan's vision momentarily. The smoke quickly cleared, however, revealing Trixie galloping down the street at full speed.

"Wait... where are you going?!" Dan shouted after her. He turned to Twilight and the others.

"Aren't you going to go after her?!"

"I'm sorry," Rainbow Dash said, laughing to herself. "I didn't see where she went; I was kind of distracted by the reflection off your dome!"

Dan turned around to see the blue unicorn had vanished from the street in front of him. He stood on the stage, bald, humiliated and with the guilty party fleeing the scene. A pulse of pure fury built in his stomach. Dan's fists became balls, his jaw clenched and his eyes shut as his entire body pulsed with rage. The anger built in him as his blood began to boil and a white-hot, concentrated ball of hate hit the back of his throat.

Dan threw his fists up and shouted to the heavens above,"TRIXIE!!!"

"Dan... calm down," Twilight said. Dan's voice was still ringing in her ears.

"CALM DOWN?!" Dan shouted. "My hair is gone!! That magician is gone! MY PATIENCE IS GONE!"

Rainbow Dash hovered closer, still trying to contain her laughter. "Hey, look at the bright side, Dan!" she said with a giggle.

"What bright side?!"

"No, I mean actually look at the bright side of your head! It's so shiny!"

Dan practically foamed at the mouth. "RRAAAGGGGHH!!!"

Running to the side of the stage, Dan ripped a portion of the blue curtains off. In a single rage-filled motion, he fashioned himself a turquoise turban for himself. The other ponies climbed up on the stage as Dan stood and fumed.

"Dan, please calm down," Twilight reiterated.

"How... did you do that?" Rarity asked, pointing to the turban Dan just made.

Dan looked up, noticing the hat on his head. "I... don't... know... we need to find that magician! When I get my hands on her, I'm gonna rip every strand of hair off her mane and make it into a wig!"

"Dan, it's all right," Twilight said. "She just used a bit of magic; it's nothing I can't fix."

"How do you know you can do that?!" Dan backed away. "You said before that you've never even heard of disappearing spells!"

Twilight stopped for a moment. "That's right, but I do know about curse-reversing. And a lot about magic in general," she modestly added.

"Yeah! Twilight's the best at magic! She's fixed the trouble Trixie's caused a couple times before! Wait," Pinkie Pie stopped herself. "Don't you live with Twilight, Dan? Don't you know all this?"

Whatever small amount of calm Dan managed evaporated again in an instant. Slowly, he turned to the pink mare who had poised the question to him.

"NO!!! I don't know all of this because THIS is the first time we've ever done anything together!!"

"Oh...," Pinkie realized. "Well, are you having fun?"

The muscles in Dan's face burned like hot coals. His eye twitched rapidly. "AAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!"

"Well, you did want to see Trixie's magic show, Dan," Rainbow Dash reminded him. "But I bet you didn't think you'd... lose your hair over it!" The rainbow mare almost fell over chuckling. The others couldn't help but laugh either, except Twilight.

"Please, Dan," Twilight stepped forward. "Let me help you."

"Rrrrgghhh... fine," Dan said through gritted teeth. "But then, we're going after that magician." He removed his turban. His bald scalp glimmered in the sun.

Twilight rolled her eyes. Hopefully, with his hair back, Dan would forget about trying to get back at Trixie and they could move on with their day. Whatever Trixie's magic was, Twilight was sure a simple reset spell would clear it up. She charged her horn with the appropriate counter-magic and took aim for the young man's domed head.

A ray of magenta light shot from Twilight's horn and collided with Dan's scalp. For a moment, another blinding flash lit up the area. It cleared quickly and the ponies looked to Dan to see the result.

"What?!" Twilight yelled in disbelief.

"What happened?! What did you do?!" Dan asked quickly. He ran his fingers over his head again but felt the same lack of hair he'd felt earlier. Nothing but the smooth surface of his scalp greeted his fingertips. Twilight continued to stare at him in frustration while the others were silent.

"What's going on?" Dan was almost panicking. "What's the problem?!"

"Nothing happened, Dan... that's the problem." Twilight moved closer, scrutinizing Dan's head. Same as before; nothing had changed. She put a hoof to her chin. "Let me try again."

"Uh, wait, I-"

Krzzap! She blasted him again. Still though, the results were the same.

"Hmm..." Twilight said. She blasted him again without warning. And again, and again. "Why isn't it working?" her tone more curious than frustrated. "Maybe a different spell." She blasted him with another ray; this one spawned a puff of smoke with it that quickly dissipated. When the cloud of magical smoke was gone, it revealed only the same bald human frowning back at her.

"I don't understand," Twilight said. "None of the cleansing spells are working." Twilight didn't want to admit it but it seemed that whatever spell Trixie cast was beyond her at the moment. Despite being an alicorn princess, there were still things she was learning about magic. It was a reminder that knowledge could come from any source and also that she may have to go find that source as Dan had suggested. Or demanded.

"Of course it's not working!" Dan shouted, pulling the turban back down over his head. "Obviously, this is some kind of voodoo you're not used to!"

Twilight put a hoof to her chin. "It does look like it..."

"Maybe we could try something different?" Rarity asked. "I know of plenty of products that can help you conceal your... lack of hair, Dan."

"Oooh yeah! Like a wig or a mask! You could pick out a new one for every day!" Pinkie proclaimed excitedly as she bounced.

"Maybe Zecora has a potion for something like this..." Fluttershy timidly suggested.

"Or I could let ya borrow my hat," Applejack offered, removing her trademark Stetson.

Twilight put a hoof on her friend's shoulder. "I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful, Dan."

"Oh, I know exactly how you can help. How you can ALL help," Dan said with a twisted smile. "We're going to find that fraud show-pony and I'm going shove a dozen solutions for hair loss down her throat!!"

"How're we going to find her?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Search the whole town? Cuz, I'm down for that."

"No, I have a better idea," Dan said, walking to the side of the stage. He picked up Trixie's cap off the floor. "We won't have to search a single spot. She's going to come right back here to the scene of the crime soon enough."

"How do you figure that?" Twilight asked. Dan pointed to a sign to the side of the stage. It read:

"Ohhhh," Pinkie said, understanding. "Wow. She does three shows a day. That's gotta be rough." The others nodded in agreement.

Dan began pacing. "We'll wait right here for her... set a trap or something. And we she shows up, BAM! We shave her bald in front of the entire town!"

"You really think she's going to come back for the next show, Dan?" Twilight asked.

"She'll have to," Dan held up a glass jug full of bits. "She forgot her tip jar."

The six ponies and bald biped waited for the magician to return. Twilight didn't know how things would work out, how she was going to get Dan to calm down or how she would get his hair back. What was this spell Trixie had tried to perform and why didn't it work out? For that matter, why did it seem none of Twilight's magic wasn't working on Dan either? Hopefully, getting ahold of Trixie would provide an explanation provided that getting ahold of her didn't involve Dan strangling her.

They'd each taken different positions: Dan, Twilight and Applejack hid in some bushes a few feet away from the stage, Pinkie and Rarity were just on the side of either curtain, Rainbow Dash observed from a carefully-placed cloud above the stage and Fluttershy watched and prepared for the confrontation from the safety of a nearby tree.

Dan checked his watch. "It's almost two-thirty... where is she?!" he whispered angrily. He checked the stage again and surrounding area. Nothing. Not a single other pony walked through the streets, nopony else approached the stage. It was quiet enough to hear the bouncing of the obligatory tumble weed roll its way across the area.

"Maybe she skipped town... gettin' humiliated like that in public, I sure wouldn't want to be seen 'round after somethin' like that happened," Applejack commented.

Dan turned back to her. "Humiliated? Her? What about me? SHE'S the one who did this to ME! It was practically a sick joke in front of every other pony in town!"

"Well, I'm just sayin' Dan, she went and messed up that trick of hers in front of the whole town, too. I'd be pretty embarrassed if I was a magician."

"Yeah, well if she thinks she's embarrassed now, I'm gonna show her ten different kinds of embarrassment when she shows back up," Dan turned back around.

Applejack was actually referring to something else and Twilight knew it. Some time ago, what felt like a long time ago, Applejack actually did leave town out of her own shame for a similar situation. They literally had to track her down and then chase her down to try and find out why she had run away. The cowgirl mare may not have been a magician like Trixie but she knew about living up to expectations and performing for large crowds. She also knew the feeling of not living up to those expectations.

Twilight could tell she even sympathized for Trixie; Twilight did, too. She and the others had learned quite a few lessons about friendship from dealing with Trixie, lessons Dan hadn't been involved with. Twilight still remembered meeting Dan, Chrysalis and Fluffle Puff around the same time, what seemed like ages ago. Apart from seeing each other at home or bumping into each other in town, Twilight hardly ever saw Dan or the others. In fact, she interacted with them in person almost as often as she spent time with Princess Celestia. The thought was discomforting.

As they crouched in the bushes in anticipation of the culprit's return, Twilight's gaze was fixed on the back of her enraged houseguest's neck. She realized then her problem: she hadn't done the best job in balancing her friends. Dan, Fluffle Puff, Twilight, even her own brother, there were in actuality very few other ponies that were privy to Twilight's journeys with her friends. While Twilight did send a weekly letter to the princess and most other ponies heard about her adventures anyway, she didn't talk to any of her other friends regularly.

Dan continued to seethe in front of her. She put a hoof on the back of his shoulder hoping it would calm down but his focus was fixed on the stage in front of them. He was going to be hard to get through to.

If her friends outside of the regular five had more contact with Twilight, maybe Dan would be exercising forgiveness instead of retaliation right now and maybe she would've known Trixie's act hadn't changed much. Twilight came to the sudden realization that while she had learned many lessons about friendship, there were others who hadn't learned the same lessons. It wasn't just about Dan not being involved; this entire incident was a clear indication that Equestria itself wasn't benefiting enough from her learning about the magic of friendship. She would have to find some way to teach others as well as her friends from now on.

But right now, sympathy wasn't going to prevent Dan from being as bald as Cranky Doodle Donkey for the foreseeable future. More time passed as the group continued to wait. Other ponies actually showed up to watch the show, not many but a few. A family spread out a picnic blanket to sit upon as they waited. Some even placed a bit or two into the glass jar sitting at the foot of the stage; it was beginning to almost overflow. Despite the increase in activity, the star remained absent.

"Rrrrggh," Dan growled. "Where is that gypsy?"

Pinkie gasped, peeking out from behind the curtain. "Oooh! I know a thing or two about gypsies! I even know this song!" She took a deep breath to begin to sing. "When-"

"SHHHHH!!!" Rarity shushed her.

"Sorry!" Pinkie whispered back. "But it's a really good song!" Rarity facehooved and shook her head silently.

Dan checked his watch again. Almost 3o'clock. He scratched his head and was reminded AGAIN at his lack of hair.

"Hey, Twilight?" Pinkie asked from behind the curtains.

"Pinkie, what is it? We're not supposed to be drawing attention to ourselves!" Twilight chastised.

"I know, it's just, I'm wondering why you're casting a levitation spell."

"What?" Twilight checked her horn. "I'm not levitating anything."

"Then why is the tip jar floating away?" Pinkie pointed.

Sure enough, in front of the stage the tip jar hovered in midair and moved slowly away from them. It bobbed from side-to-side as it drifted over the grass, heading down the street.

"GET HER!!" Dan ordered, leaping from behind the bush. The others sprung from their hiding places to rush the jar. In response, the jar seemed to pause and then accelerate in the direction it was heading. The spectators turned to see the six ponies race towards the floating jug as it hovered down the street.

Rainbow Dash jumped off her cloud and dove for the jar, speeding for it like an arrow. When it looked like she was about to snatch it, it abruptly stopped and turned at the last second and the Pegasus shot past it.

"What the hay?" Rainbow said, puzzled. Dan and the others approached from behind, blocking the jar's attempt at reversing course. It spun in midair and shook.

"Wait a minute," Twilight said, slowing down. Looking at the jar, she noticed something strange about it. "It's not glowing. She's not casting a spell on it."

The other ponies took notice of this as well. As she said, the container had no mystical aura around it to indicate it was being moved by magic.

"PONYVILLE IS HAUNTED!!" Pinkie screamed.

Twilight narrowed her gaze. "No, this is something else."

Dan didn't slow his advance; he ran right up to the floating jar. As he bore down on it, he undid the turban around his head and spread the cloth in both hands, preparing to catch the unicorn wherever she was.

The jar kept trying to get through Rainbow Dash but the Pegasus stood between it and the street beyond, blocking any attempt at escape as the others approached from behind.

"Thought you could get away from us, didn't you?" Dan said as he ran up to it.

"Dan, she's not levitating it; this is something else," Twilight cautioned.

While Dan wasn't that familiar with magic, he'd spent enough time around Twilight to know when something was being influenced by a levitation spell.

"But if she's not levitating the coin jar, then where is she?" Rarity asked.

"I don't know!" Dan bellowed, rage still coursing through him. "But that fraud's not getting away with anypony's hard earned money!" He lunged at the jar with the blue cloth in hand when something else happened. He collided in the air with something else and the jar fell to the ground, spilling its contents. As if from thin air, Trixie appeared underneath Dan as he tackled her to the street.

"Ow! Hey, those bits are mine!" Trixie yelled.

"Trixie? Where did you come from?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Both Dan and the magician got up, brushing the dirt off of themselves. "I've been here the whole time. You just couldn't see me." Something about her had changed; her tone was more submissive, nothing like the way she was on stage.

"You made yourself invisible?" Twilight asked.

Trixie nodded. "It's the disappearing spell."

"Trying to grab the cash and skip town after making me bald, ey?" Dan asked in an accusing voice.

The blue unicorn turned to him. "I had no intention of leaving... I was just trying to empty my jar before the next show."

"So, you were planning on going through with your other shows?" Fluttershy asked.

Trixie adjusted her cap and cape. "Of course. If I schedule a performance, I owe it to the audience to conduct it. It would be unfair otherwise."

"Then why did you jump off stage and run away after making my hair vanish?!!" Dan demanded.

"I..." Trixie paused for a moment. "I'm sorry. It was a mistake. I had no idea that would happen when I used the disappearing spell on you."

"Sorry?! You're sorry?!" The bald man shouted. "After humiliating me on stage in front of every pony in town, you're just sorry?!!"

Trixie nodded. "Yes... I'm very sorry." Her expression and tone conveyed both regret and concern.

Dan still trembled with rage as the mare apologized in front of him. The others looked at him, all equally concerned. His jaw clenched, he looked ready to tackle the magician again. Twilight walked over to him.

"Dan, she said she was sorry," Twilight reminded him softly. Standing on her back legs, she grabbed him by the shoulders to try to calm him down.

Dan's eyes scanned the faces of his other friends; they all shared the same concerned expression, wondering what Dan would do next. He looked to the frightened unicorn in front of him. She didn't try to run or hide, didn't try to avert her fate. It was as if she stood in the road waiting for Dan to render judgment for her error. Her fate was in Dan's hands. It was exactly what he wanted; justice. But for some reason, surrounded by his friends, he was unable to render it.

Fists slowly un-balling, Dan's demeanor turned from sheer fury back to mild contempt. "Fine... I...accept your apology," he said, exhaling sharply.

"Thank you, Dan," Twilight said, patting him. Trixie's mouth slowly formed a smile, as did the other ponies. Disaster had been narrowly averted it seemed.

"So...," Trixie began. "If you all will excuse me, I have a show to perform." She walked towards Dan and the others, back to the stage.

"Oh, absolutely," Dan said, sounding cheerful as she passed. "There's just one little problem."

The blue unicorn looked over her shoulder. "And... that is?"

Dan bent over and pointed to his head. I'M STILL BALD!!! he shouted. The pale dome practically sparkled in the sunlight. Looking closely, Pinkie almost could see her own reflection.

"Oh, um, right. Sorry," Trixie turned back around. "Um... I really wasn't expecting for the spell to make your hair disappear, believe me."

"Sure," Dan said stoically, staring back at Trixie with the same apathetic look of contempt.

Pinkie put a hoof to her chin. "So, you're able to make the spell work on yourself... but not others?"

"I tested the spell on several things and they all seemed to work. It took a while to learn but eventually it became like any other spell," Trixie explained.

"Right. I'm sure there are plenty of spells that make people go bald," Dan said sarcastically.

"I don't exactly know why the spell didn't work but I'm sure the standard cleansing spell will be able to reverse it," Trixie said, charging her horn.

"That won't work-, we've already tried-" Dan started to say but was blasted by Trixie's beam. A second later, a cloud of bluish smoke evaporated and the still-bald form of Dan finished with, "cleansing magic."

"What? Why didn't it work?" Trixie asked, surprised.

Twilight moved to her side. "I tried a couple of different spells after you left, none seemed to work."

Trixie put a blue hoof to her chin. "I don't understand. This spell seems to work on everything else. Why did it make only your hair disappear?"

"It's because he's a human," a voice answered. The other ponies looked around but didn't see anyone else in sight.

"Who said that?" Rainbow Dash asked.

A book sailed through the air and landed in the middle of the group between Dan and Trixie. Twilight walked over and picked it up. It was a large tome with a hardback; she recognized it as a spell book almost immediately.

"Arcane Apology?" Twilight read the title on the cover. She noticed it was heavy as she picked it up off the ground.

"That should help you out. Take good care of it," the voice said. It almost sounded like somepony Twilight had met before.. but she couldn't put her hoof on where exactly. Looking around, she caught a glimpse of a pony in a brown hooded cloak walking away from them. Whoever it was, Twilight quickly lost them as they walked behind a tree.

"What is it, Twilight?" Rarity asked as the others gathered around Twilight.

"It's a spell book... but not like any book I've ever seen before."

Dan narrowed his eyes at the large tome. "It reminds me of those old textbooks from college."

Twilight opened it. The book was thick, its pages almost brittle they were so thin. She quickly flipped through it and found a table of contents. Looking over them, she turned to a chapter marked "Arcane Effects" towards the middle of the book. Twilight noticed other spells, diagrams, charts and detailed information as she skipped through.

"If there's something here, it should be in this section," Twilight said, flipping the pages one hoof at a time.

"Stop!" Trixie put a hoof on the page. "That's the disappearing spell I learned!"

Twilight looked back at the page. It seemed to list detailed instructions on how to perform magic that rendered the target invisible to the naked eye. The page provided examples of its use, suggested targets and even the proper counter spells.

"Is this your book, Trixie?" Twilight asked.

"No..." Trixie replied. "I didn't learn the disappearing spell from this book. A stranger in the Crystal Empire taught it to me. But I recognize the spell."

"Well, it looks like this has the proper counter spell we need."

"Fantastic!" Dan cheered. "All right, use it on me and everything will be back to the way it was!"

Twilight turned to Trixie. "I think we should let Trixie perform the spell, Dan."

"What?!" Dan asked in shock. "I can't trust her! She's the one who did this to me in the first place!"

"Which is why she should be the one to fix it," Twilight responded, giving a knowing and encouraging smile to Trixie. Trixie returned the expression with a shy and modest grin, understanding what the purple princess was doing for her.

"I... all right," Dan said, giving up. "Just hurry up and get it over with."

"Gladly," Trixie replied. Giving the spell a quick glance, Trixie conjured the cleansing spell with her horn. A blue aura pulsed around it and a bright ray launched from the tip, causing a flash of light when it hit Dan.

Dan kept his eyes shut this time. Dan had experienced a couple different spells, mostly Twilight's and Chrysalis's and he had to say, each one was unique but they had some similarities. Magic had its own feeling, a tingling sensation with a warmness to it like the rush of a breeze with a static surge. It had all the feelings of a force all its own, a whisper in the ear, a warm breath on the shoulder, something that shouldn't be there and yet undeniably was. Sometimes, it was terrifying and at other times, it was comforting.

"Dan, open your eyes!" Pinkie Pie cried enthusiastically. But Dan didn't have to open his eyes. He ran his fingers over his head again and was both relieved and satisfied to feel his hair back in its place, even in the same style he'd left it in. A smile spread across his face as the stress left him.

"Ahh... at last," Dan sighed with relief. "The baldness is gone... I'm glad that's over with."

"What do we say, Dan?" Twilight encouraged, leaning over and looking at him.

"You're right, Twilight," Dan agreed. Twilight smiled. It was good to see everything coming full-circle, the cycle of forgiveness complete. Dan turned around. "Thank you, guys, for helping me track down Trixie and get my hair back."

Trixie's face scrunched up a little bit and Twilight's smile immediately turned into a frown. "Um, don't you think there might be somepony else you should thank, Dan?" Twilight was wanting Dan to thank Trixie; despite the fact she had humiliated Dan, she had also been the one to fix her mistake.

Dan facepalmed. "Oh, I almost forgot." Twilight's smile returned. Sometimes it took people a minute to get things straightened out. She listened for Dan to express his gratitude to Trixie next. Obviously, that was what he was about to do.

Dan picked up the book off the ground. "Thanks to whoever gave us this free book! Appreciate it!" he called out. He then turned back to the others. "All right, let's get going," he said, walking past Twilight and Trixie without another thought.

"Wait, Dan, where are you going?" Twilight asked, shocked.

Dan looked over his shoulder. "I'm gonna head back and check out this new book. I'll see ya back at the house." He continued walking off with the new book tucked under his arm.

Twilight felt almost devastated; it didn't look like Dan had really forgiven Trixie. She could only imagine how the blue unicorn must've felt. Her friends gathered around her.

"I'm sorry, Trixie. Dan can be a little-"

"It's quite all right, Twilight Sparkle," Trixie interrupted. She quickly brushed up her tip jar and bits. "Now, if you'll all excuse me, Trixie has a show to perform." Her tone sounded pompous again. She began walking back to the stage.

"Wait, y'all are still gonna perform after what happened?" Applejack asked.

"Of course!" Trixie answered. "The show must go on!"

Twilight's head drooped to the ground. Just like that, the problem was over. All though it appeared to have been resolved with a satisfactory solution, it didn't seem like either Trixie or Dan had learned anything from the incident. Both of them seemed to remain unchanged by the events as if the situation hadn't happened at all. Her friends noticed her demeanor.

"What's wrong, Twilight?" Fluttershy asked.

Twilight exhaled sharply. "Sometimes, it doesn't feel like anypony else is really learning anything about friendship."

"Now hey," Applejack interjected. "I know that's not true. All of us use the lessons we've learned almost every day." The others around her nodded in agreement.

"I know," Twilight said, her voice distraught. "But I feel like sometimes it might be just as that has learned, no one else."

"Ah, don't worry bout it, Twi," Applejack replied, patting her on the back. "People can just be a little stubborn sometimes. I'm sure they'll come 'round eventually."

"I guess so," the alicorn said, her voice heavy with uncertainty. The six ponies walked back towards the stage.

A few more spectators had gathered in front of the stage but not many, a dozen at most. Twilight and her friends approached as the curtains pulled back.

"Come one, come all, come see! Prepare to be astounded by the Grrrreat and POWERFUL Trixie!" Fireworks shot into the air as the unicorn made her announcement. In a bright flash, she appeared on stage. A pair in the audience applauded but that was about it and nopony seemed very enthusiastic to be there.

"Trixie," Applejack said, approaching the stage. "There's hardly anypony here. Why're you still going on with this?"

"The stage is here and so am I!" Trixie proclaimed. "It is as I said: the show must go on!"

"Doesn't seem like much of a point to me..." Applejack commented.

Trixie grinned back at her. "Well, allow me to explain..."

I remind myself when I get started
That on this stage I am an artist
And all those ponies out there came here to see me
But although the tensions are high
I still go out there and I try
To show my audience what they all came to see!
1...2...3...
Pull back the curtains! Cue the spotlight!
There might not be many ponies out there tonight
But I'll still shine so bright that they'll all think it's dawn!
Because no matter what the show must go on!

How about producing fire from my hat?
(Audience)We've already all seen that!
How bout I turn my wand into a snake?
(Audience)Who're you trying to fool? That's clearly fake!
I won't stop until you're impressed!
(Audience)Get off the stage! Give it a rest!
Sometimes you are the queen, sometimes you are the pawn
But no matter what the show must go on!

When I was young, I found I had a flair
For attracting attention from everywhere!
It was a talent that nopony else possessed!
I think of that when I'm on this stage
Though my audience my start to rage
I'm here right now so I might as well try and do my best!
I work so hard that I get frazzled
Hoping to see my audience dazzled
Even if it's applause that I have yet to spawn
Because no matter what the show must go on!

Maybe what you need is a good scare?
(Rarity)Please, not again with the green hair
Perhaps something with magic cards?
(Rainbow Dash)Anypony can do that; it isn't hard!
Look at these unbroken rings!
(Applejack)I think that I can see the strings...
Can I ask for a volunteer?
(Pinkie Pie)Why don't you try again next year?
How about I show off my animal charm?
(Fluttershy)I wouldn't want them to be alarmed...
Should I take somepony's request?
(Twilight Sparkle)Maybe another time would be for the best?
I'll win you over; I promise this is not a con!
And no matter what the show must go on!

I've traveled around the world to perfect my magic
It's a journey so long that I refuse to let it end tragic
Some ponies may think that my show's one-dimensional...
And things may happen sometimes, unintentional...
But Trixie's got plenty inside her bag of tricks!
Not every single spell works out
But I keep trying and I have no doubt
That eventually I'll find the one that clicks!
I remain confident my spells and plans
Will get them cheering in the stands!
And I promise to keep performing till my energy is gone!
Because no matter what, the show
must
go
onnnnnnnn!!!!!!!

A fireworks finale erupted as Trixie's presentation ended. The entire audience applauded including Twilight and her friends.

"Thank you, thank you!" Trixie said, bowing. "Now, for her next trick, the great and powerful Trixie would like to ask for a volunteer."

And that was Twilight and her friends' cue to leave. Together, they turned around and departed the stage, putting distance between them and Trixie's latest performance.

"Now that that's over... are we all ready to go cloud riding finally?" Rainbow Dash asked impatiently, hovering above the group.

"I... think I'm gonna go check on Dan," Twilight confessed, her tone concerned.

"What?!" Rainbow was shocked. "After wasting all that time, you're just gonna go back home now?"

"Dan's been through a lot today. I'm sorry; we'll hang out some other time."

Applejack put a hoof on her friend's shoulder. "It's all right, Twi. Always plenty of time to ride the clouds.."

Twilight smiled. "Bye girls. I'll see you later!" she called, trotting in the direction of her house.

Rainbow landed on the ground and stomped a hoof. "I don't believe this... after everything that happened..."

"Twilight's got a lot on her mind right now, Rainbow," Rarity said. "It probably won't be easy involving Dan in our activities form now on."

Rainbow turned to the white unicorn. "Who says we're gonna invite him next time?"

Applejack's gaze was focused down the road. "I have a hunch Twilight will." This comment got a disappointed huff out of Rainbow Dash.

"Aww, don't be so hard on Dan, Dashie!" Pinkie said. "It can be tough being the new pony-err, person in town."

Fluttershy nodded. "It takes time for new creatures to adjust to their environment," she added.

"Hasn't he been here for like... months?" Rainbow asked.

"Sure but he hasn't really been 'round for much that's happened. It just means he'll need a little bit more time to adjust," Applejack said.

Rainbow thought for a moment. "I guess so...," she turned to the others. "Well, whatcha wanna do now?"

"We could watch the rest of Trixie's show!" Pinkie suggested.

Rainbow turned back to the stage. "All right but if she asks for a volunteer, I ain't getting up on stage."

Pinkie laughed. "Yeah, you wouldn't wanna wind up as RainBALD Dash!" The group of friends chuckled as they headed back to watch the rest of Trixie's performance. Unbeknownst to the five mares, another pony in a hooded brown cloak was among the crowd as they approached the stage. But this pony wasn't there to watch the show.

It was late in the afternoon when Twilight got home. She opened the door to her house, wondering who else was home.

"Hi Twilight," Spike greeted her upon entering.

"Hello, Spike," Twilight said back, noticing something strange right away. Spike, Chrysalis and Fluffle Puff all sat on the couch in the living room, looking soaking wet. They looked to be trying to dry off.

"Did the two of you wash Fluffle Puff?"

"Sort of," Chrysalis answered. "I think I'd rather not get into it..."

"Okay..." Twilight said, deciding not to pry. "Where's Dan?"

"Up in his room... where it's dry..." Chrysalis shivered.

"All right, I'll go check on him," Twilight said, walking past them and up the stairs. As their host left, Chrysalis looked over to Spike.

"Never. Again," Chrysalis said to Spike. The purple dragon shivered in response and the pink puff ball pony in between them stuck out its tongue. 'Pbbthd' was all it said.

Twilight knocked on the door to the room Dan shared with Chrysalis and Fluffle Puff.

"It's open," Dan called back. Twilight opened and entered to find the young man lying back on his bed, hands behind his head just staring at the ceiling.

"Hi, Dan," Twilight said, making her voice sound comforting. "Did you... have fun today?"

Dan kept his eyes on the roof. "Is it like that every time you're out with your friends?"

Twilight knew what he was referring to. She thought about the question. "It definitely gets exciting. You never know who you're going to meet at times."

"I hope we don't meet too many other ponies like Trixie," Dan replied, rolling over.

Twilight thought hard about how to phrase her next statement. "It's fun to meet new ponies. Sometimes you meet somepony you don't get along with but by interacting with them, they can teach you something new. I try to look at it as an opportunity to learn. Maybe... you could, too?"

"Yeah, yeah..." Dan grumbled, still on his side.

Twilight walked back to the door and closed it, casting one last glance behind her at her guest before shutting it. She realized it was going to be difficult getting through to Dan but she wouldn't give up. It might take a while but Dan was her friend, too and she planned on involving him when she did things with her friends. It was what friends do and she believed she could help Dan. She trotted back to her room and decided to write a letter to Princess Celestia about the matter.

Meanwhile, back in Dan's room, Dan didn't hear the door shut as Twilight left; he was too busy focusing on his cell phone. He scrolled through the menu until he reached the video he'd recorded some minutes ago and pressed play.

On the small screen before him, the recording of Trixie's magic show played. In the quiet of Dan's room, he watched the blue unicorn sing along with his friends. And he smiled.

Outro- Closing Theme of Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship
Parody of 'Just the two of us'- feat. Bill Withers

You see us walking down the street
We're not the type you'd like to meet
But if you greet us, we'll still say hello

We may not have been here all that long
Once in a while, we're in the wrong
But when squee goes down, we're the ones you want to know

Just don't screw with us
Don't mess around, don't even try
Just don't screw with us
(Just don't screw with us)

Jussssst don't screw with us
You can't cross us, you won't get by
Just don't screw with us
That's good advice

We don't always fit in with folks in town
But when trouble comes around
You'll be glad that we're all here

Some people still don't see the signs
They come here, cross a couple lines
But we still try to make things clear

Rule Number-One: Just Don't Screw with Us
Don't mess around, don't even try
Just don't screw with ussss
(Just don't screw with us)

Jussssst Don't Screw With Us!
Unless your name is Pinkie Pie!
Still, don't screw with us.
That's no lie.

This is the part with the saxophone, songs sound better with saxophone solos
That's why we added this part with the sax-o-phonnnnnneeee
This is the instrumental portion, I hope that we made it clear somehow
But if it wasn't clear before, I'm sure it's- clear- now!

You see us walking down the street
We're not the types you want to meet
But when you call on us, we sure to get the job done

We might not be what you expect
Celestia knows, we're not perfect
But you can still join us for the fun

Just don't screw with us
Don't mess around, don't even try~
Just don't screw with us
(Just don't screw with us)

Jusssst don't screw with us!
Alright, maybe Derpy or Fluttershy, the rest
Don't screw with us
HEY WHAT DID I JUST SAY, YOU GUYS?!

Just Don't Screw With Us~
Yes, that's what I said, but you're just repeating the chorus and-
Jusssssssttt Don't Screwwww With Usssssssss!
It's passive-aggressive, baby
Why does Spike have the deep voice in this?
Jussst, Don't Screw With Ussss~
We can make it, just don't screw with us~
Yeah, that's what the song is about, but I'm serious
Just don't screw with us~
Hey, the saxophone is back
Just don't screw with us~
We can make it, just don't screw with us
Okay... fine. As long as you get the message. We'll see you all next week, okay now? BYE.
We'll be back soon. And next time, we do it right!

Episode 3: Dan Vs. DJ Pon-3

Intro: Rise Up- Theme of Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship

One day,
You wake up to find~
Nothing
That you know is right!
Feels like
You've gone completely blind
But somehow, you can still see the light~

You can show any rule
You're not scared to defy it
Show the world some healthy opposition
If there's something new, you're not afraid to try it
Because you're free to make your own decisions
This is your life- no matter what others say~
Rise up! You can face the day!

So you're stuck
There's not much you can do
It's like
Everything's out to get you
But still
You can still find a way to forge a path and make your dreams come true!

You can show the whole world
You're not scared to believe it!
Stand tall and defend your position!
No matter how cold the truth is, you're not afraid to receive it!
And keep moving forward with your own mission!
This is your life- you've gotta live it your own way
Rise up! You can face the day!

It's tough to see what the truth really is
When all you've got is mixed messages
Seems like the problems that come around
Are setup just to keep you down
Nothing seems right!
And it's like your entire life's just plight after plight!
But no matter what the problem is or how long the struggle's length,
You can still find the courage to stand, to find your inner strength~

You can show any rule
You're not scared to defy it!
Show the world some healthy opposition!
If there's something new, you're not afraid to try it!
Because you're free to make your own decisions!
This our world! The game is on and we're gonna play!
We'll rise up! We can face the day!

Early in the morning, it was quiet in Twilight's house apart from the consistent sounds of snores. Dan, Chrysalis, Spike and even Fluffle Puff all made quite a lot of noise during their slumber. But this didn't disturb any of them; no, there was a harmony about all their nocturnal murmurings. It allowed all of them to sleep easily through the night and as the sun crept over the horizon, they were content to remain in bed a little while longer, indulging in their dreams.

The outside sounds and raise from the new-morning sun didn't rouse any of them. They weren't woken by the early activities of those in Ponyville, the birds flying over head and they didn't hear the pulsing sounds of bass coming from a newly-opened store nearby in town, especially not Dan.

Dan had learned a long time ago that Fluffle Puff made sounds like a freight train being derailed when she slept. He had the foresight to wear some earmuffs to bed when he adjourned for the night, meaning he didn't hear the wubs penetrating Twilight's house early in the morning. Unfortunately, wubs were not something that could only be heard but could also be very much felt. And Dan was about to feel them.

The young man vibrated on his bed, his eyes slowly blinked open. "Wha... what? What's going on?!" he continued shaking, the power of the bass pushing him to the edge of the bed. He fell to the floor, landing in a seated position.

"It's an earthquake! Run for your lives!!" Dan sprang to his feet and yanked off the earmuffs. The room around them shook with each blasting beat. He ran over to where Chrysalis and Fluffle still slept.

"Wake up! What're you two doing?! We have to evacuate!!" he yelled, grabbing Chrysalis by the shoulder.

The changling queen's eyes slowly opened. "It's... what...?" she asked groggily.

Dan shook her to clear her daze. "It's an earthquake! Use your magic! Do something!"

Chrysalis looked around, finally waking up. "Wha-what should I do?!"

"Change into something that can save us!!"

She thought for a moment. "Oh! I know!" In a bright, green flash, the changling queen transformed into an exact copy of Princess Celestia. Right down to the flowing mane, she looked exactly like the princess.

"I'm Princess Celestia now!" Chrysalis said, even in the princess's own voice. "Will this work?"

Dan gritted his teeth. "I said something that can save us, not somepony that'll just send for Twilight and- wait, Twilight!" It was then Dan realized the best course of action would be to get Twilight for help. He dropped the transformed white alicorn and ran out of his room. The walls shook as he ran across the way to Twilight's room. He banged on Twilight's door.

"Twilight! TWILIGHT, WAKE UP!! IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE!!" Dan shouted, banging on the door again. The vibrations in the house intensified; it felt like the tree might uproot itself at any second. Still, the door to Twilight's room didn't open.

"WE HAVE TO EVACUATE NOW! GET UP, GET UP!!" he shouted, desperately knocking to rouse his friend and get out in time. He heard books in the living room fall off the shelves. Suddenly, the vibrations stopped as the door to Twilight's room opened.

"Mornin' Dan," Spike said in the doorway. He seemed completely oblivious to the tremors.

Dan looked around, confused. "What... what happened? It's over?"

Spike looked confused as well. "What's over?"

Putting a hand to the wall, Dan didn't feel anything. Just like that, it was gone. "I... don't know. I thought there was an earthquake or something. Where's Twilight?"

Spike pointed behind him with his thumb. "She left early to go check out some new store that opened up in town. One of those 'grand opening' things; she wanted to be one of the first in line."

"I see..." Dan said, pondering. "Where's this store at?"

"It's the new WubWay just a down the street. Part of a chain, they sell music... and sandwiches, I think," Spike scratched his chin.

"Hmm... you know when she'll be back?"

"Not sure, probably soon. You need something?"

Dan's eyes narrowed. "I think I'll go check out this new store for myself," he said, turning around and walking back to his room. The house was a mess; he had to step over a few pictures that had been knocked to the floor by the seismic disturbance. He opened the door to the room he shared with Chrysalis and Fluffle Puff.

"Dan!" Chrysalis shouted enthusiastically as Dan stepped through. "How about now? I turned into something that will save us!"

"You transformed into Twilight?" Dan asked, raising an eyebrow.

The purple 'princess' nodded. "Yeah! She saved Equestria from me before I reformed and also saved the Crystal Empire from King Sombra!"

"And can you use all her powers?"

"Well, uh... no."

Dan smiled. "Keep working on it." He grabbed his cell phone from its charging receptacle on the wall socket. While most of Equestria seemed devoid of the more sophisticated electronics and appliances Dan was used to from Earth, he found out that was just a façade. Equestria's technology was simply not as prevalent in some areas but was by no means primitive. One might assume that the society lacked advanced equipment at first glance but that was simply the style the ponies seemed to prefer. Besides, they had magic so they simply didn't require that much advancement. Dan, however, did.

Fluffle Puff hugged him on the way out. He embraced the cuddly pink creature. Adapting to life in Equestria hadn't been easy at first but with the help of Fluffle Puff, Chrysalis and Twilight, he had managed. It hadn't taken him too long to find an electronics store in Ponyville(it was on the OTHER side of Sugar Cube Corner, go figure) and he enjoyed the new friends he'd made. But occasionally, something random would happen in town, like today and he would be left with no explanation. That was what he was going to set out to fix.

Dan walked down the stairs into the living room, taking care not to step on any of Twilight's books or belongings that had been strewn about the house. While a random earthquake was strange, Dan had trained himself not to panic. That, and living in California for most of his life had prepared him for it. Still, Equestria was not Earth and that meant an explanation might not be as clear but if it was something that could disturb him when he was trying to sleep in, it deserved his attention so that it didn't happen again.

Taking a deep breath and prepared for whatever state the town was in, Dan opened Twilight's door and stepped outside.

"Dan, wait!" Chrysalis called to him again. "I've got it this time! This will definitely save us!"

Dan turned back around to see Cadence running down from the stairs. "Oh, thank goodness!" he said, relieved.

The changling queen looked happy she'd finally transformed into the right thing, even if she didn't know why Dan had asked her yet. "This is good, right? Okay, so what do we need saving from?"

"Oh, don't worry about that. Crisis is over... for now, at least," Dan replied.

The queen returned to normal in a flash of green. "Wait, I don't understand."

"The disaster's over. No idea what started it but we're good now. You can go back to bed."

"But," the queen frowned. "Why were you happy I transformed into Cadence?"

"Oh, no, it wasn't that. You've got Cheeto-dust in your mane and it reminded me we're out of Cheetos," Dan replied, stepping outside.

"Cheeto-dust?" the queen repeated, brushing her mane with her hoof. "Dan, wait! Let me come with you!"

"Great idea! We can use you as a distraction in case we run into trouble!"

Chrysalis smiled, happy to be invited for the errand. "Oh, goody! This will be fun!"

"Exactly! You'll make the best bait ever!"

The queen clapped her hooves together. "Awesome! I get to be... wait, what?"

Dan turned around. "Now, to find this new music store..." he said, walking into the Ponyville street.

"And that's why it's called a bass cannon," Vinyl Scratch said, twisting the nob down.

Twilight stood in front of Wubway, Vinyl and her roommate Octavia's newest business venture, still taken back by the DJ pony's performance. While Octavia was inside the store taking care of customers, Vinyl had taken upon herself to demonstrate another one of their products, the bass cannon, to attract more business to the grand opening of their store. Twilight had been among the first to ask what the large contraption sitting out front was and Vinyl had been more than happy to show them what it was. Though it had been something they'd heard and felt rather than saw.

"That was... loud," Twilight said, not disguising her slight discomfort at the device. It reminded her of something Pinkie would come up with. "Are you sure that won't... disturb half of Ponyville every time it's used?"

"Nah!" the white unicorn waved away the suggestion, walking from behind her audial artillery. "I specially adapted the frequency so it won't penetrate any of the buildings in Ponyville. You can blast this baby all day and your neighbors will never notice!"

"What about trees?" Twilight asked.

"What about 'em?" the DJ tipped down her shades.

"What would this cannon do if it was in proximity to a tree house or something?"

"Ah, it'd probably shake the whole thing to bits but the tree would be okay, probably," Vinyl said, putting a hoof on her chin. "Why do ya ask?"

"Because I live in a tree house. With a few others. Close by," she gestured to the side. "Next door, actually."

Vinyl over to peer around the side of the building. Sure enough, a couple houses down was the Ponyville Library where Twilight lived in a roundabout area of the neighborhood. It was indeed a tree house and Vinyl could tell at this distance, it probably had felt the effects of her bass cannon.

The music mare removed her trademark sunglasses. "Maybe I should stop wearing these at night..." she muttered, looking at her shades. "Well, uh... hey, at least we know the library can withstand the acoustical blast of one of these babies!" Vinyl grinned hugely, trying to cover up the fact she'd unintentionally subjected the newest princess's home with the sonic awesomeness that were wubs.

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Yeah but what about everything inside?"

"Oh," the DJ said shyly, "Uh, things might get shaken up... a little, maybe."

"A little?" a voice repeated. The two ponies turned to see Dan and Chrysalis standing behind Twilight. "Smoothies are a little shaken up, the house is a wreck."

"Hi... guys," Twilight turned around and said nervously. "Did you both sleep well?" She didn't really know what else to say; she wanted to be cautious and try not to do anything to anger her easily disgruntled friends, knowing they'd probably cause a scene. Looking at both of them staring back at her, Twilight knew it already might be too late for that.

"Slept just fine up until I thought the library was being torn down," Dan remarked, his arms folded.

"Yeeeeeaaah.... sorry about that," Vinyl apologized. "Modified the bass cannon so it wouldn't affect the buildings in Ponyville, kinda forgot not every building is... a building."

Twilight looked over to Dan and Chrysalis to see they both wore unamused expressions. She smiled at them, hoping to defuse the potentially volatile situation but inside, she prepared for the verbal onslaught before it happened. "Are you guys... okay?" Twilight asked cautiously.

Dan returned his arms to his sides. "Oh yeah, we're fine. Like I said, house is a bit of a mess but it shouldn't take too long to clean up."

"It might take time to get all the books re-alphabetized and all the pictures back on the walls but everything else is all right," Chrysalis added. They both walked over to the front of the store.

Twilight's eyes went wide. Was she really hearing this? Did Dan get disturbed and then... NOT get mad?

"Sorry about that again, guys," Vinyl said to the two as they approached.

"It's all right," Dan replied. "I honestly thought it was an earthquake or something when I woke up. I'm kind of relieved it wasn't some giant monster attacking the town or something."

The purple alicorn couldn't believe her ears. "You both aren't... mad?" she had to ask.

Chrysalis turned and shrugged. "Why would we be? It's you and Spike who are going to have to reorganize the library."

"Good point," Twilight thought aloud. Was there something she wasn't getting here?

"So, apart from the wake-up wubs, how're you guys doing?" Vinyl asked the two.

"Not bad," Dan answered. "Starting to get out and do a little more with Twilight and the others. What's with the new store?"

"Ah, me and Tavi are starting a new flagship project. It's gonna be a chain," she said, gesturing to the sing overhead with her hoof.

"Wubway?" Dan raised an eyebrow at the sign. "What was wrong with your old record shop?"

"Nothing, we were just looking to expand and needed a brand name to go along with it. Wubways will be smaller with more of an emphasis on downloading music and letting people customize their albums, even create and remix tracks. We'll still sell CDs and records but every store will have Wi-Fi so if there's something we don't have, they can still listen to it and download it for a price," Vinyl explained.

"That sounds pretty interesting," Chrysalis said. "Is every store going to come complete with its own bass cannon?"

"Ah, nah, this one's just to get things started off here in Ponyville," Vinyl put a hoof to her chin. "Might consider putting one in a catalogue or something."

"Well, I'm going to miss the old record store," Dan said.

"Yeah," Vinyl agreed in a somewhat sad tone. "It was nice having you guys come in every now and then but we need more business."

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "You've all met before?"

"Oh yeah," Vinyl answered. "Dan and Chrys stopped by lots of times before."

"I dropped by about once a week while out shopping," Dan revealed. "The old record store was right next to the StopGame and Starbucks."

"StopGame? Starbucks?" Twilight asked, surprised there were stores in town she didn't know about.

"Yep," Chrysalis nodded. "We didn't even have to ponify Starbucks."

"Wait, what?"

"You guys wanna come inside, check out the new store?" Vinyl offered.

"Sounds great!" Dan happily replied and the DJ unicorn escorted the two inside. Twilight stepped around the bass cannon and looked at the store's sign. She'd just heard about the grand opening today but according to some of the advertisements in the windows, it had been forecast for weeks.

The purple alicorn looked up and down the streets at some of the other buildings. Some she recognized... but most she didn't. She saw ponies milling about their houses, most of them unfamiliar despite living so close to her home. Twilight hadn't heard about the two stores Dan mentioned and she couldn't recall ever visiting Vinyl and Octavia's old store. In fact, apart from Sugar Cube Corner, Twilight barely recognized this part of town. It was like being in a Ponyville she'd never seen before.

Head slightly lower than before, heavy with thought, Twilight entered the music shop.

Rows of shelves lined the store from the front entrance to the back. To the right side of the store, tables and chairs were set up with computer terminals lining the wall. Towards the back, a line of ponies stretched over to the side while Octavia worked behind the counter at a cash register. The shop appeared to be half café, half record store. Twilight saw her three friends in the center of the aisle ahead of her at a listening station. Nudging past a couple ponies who she thought were from Trottingham, she made her way over to them.

"Oooh, I like this one," Chrysalis said. She wore a pair of headphones and hopped in place, dancing to the song she was listening to.

"That one's a classic, Pinkie Pie's jam," Vinyl remarked, adjusting her shades. It was her business to know music, including what everypony liked.

Dan was looking through some of the items off to the side. "This is actually a pretty good deal for me. I can choose whatever tracks I want, create an album and buy it for the standard price of a CD."

"Yep. It's all about customization and convenience these days. Of course, nothing beats live music. That's why we have the café area. At night, we move out all the tables and BOOM! Instant dance floor. And every Wubway's gonna have one," Vinyl proudly declared.

"How are you going to perform in every store?" Twilight asked.

Vinyl chuckled. "I'm not gonna be in EVERY store, Twilight. Maybe me and Octavia will be at a couple openings but we're gonna hire local talent. Give new musicians in each town a chance."

"Don't you think it will be hard to find new DJs in every town?"

Vinyl tipped her shades at Twilight. "You'd be surprised how many musicians there are out in Equestria. Neon Lights has signed on to perform at the next one, just as soon as we get this store up and running. These shops are going to be about creating an environment where music, musicians and fans of music are all celebrated together."

Twilight looked around, seeing the business. "Well, it looks like you're off to a great start." For some reason, Twilight was reminded of her library in that instant. Apart from her houseguests, she was the only one who used it. Hardly any other ponies in town checked out any books. Of course, Twilight knew there was a difference between stories and songs but she couldn't help think... maybe her library could use some improvement as well?

Chrysalis flipped through songs and continued listen-browsing. "Hey Dan, check this one out," she said, levitating a second pair of headphones over to him.

Dan put them on. "Hmm... not bad."

"Here, try this one," Vinyl said, switching tracks on the display in front of them.

"Hey, now this is pretty good," Dan remarked.

Vinyl beamed. "One of my own originals. Took me almost a week to get the beats just right."

"Wow, you wrote this yourself?" Chrysalis asked.

"Yep. I might even remix it sometime down the road. I like reexamining my own work like that."

"Let me know if you ever need specific vocals," Chrysalis said. "I can transform into any pony there is, including their voice."

The white unicorn put a hoof to her chin. "I'll keep that in mind..."

Dan removed the headphones. "Great track, Vinyl. It kind of reminds me of a song by Arch Pawn, band back from Earth."

"It does?" the DJ asked, adjusting her glasses again.

"Yeah, especially the vocals. I even saw them in concert once," Dan answered.

"You never mentioned what music is like on Earth before," Twilight commented, encouraging an explanation.

"Well, there's not much of a difference. Music is music, I guess," Dan thought aloud and pulled out his phone. "Come to think of it, I think I still have a few songs downloaded from Earth."

"Hey, that kinda looks like my phone," Vinyl leaned closer.

"Really?" Dan asked. He pulled up his contacts on the phone's screen. "What's your number? I can add you on here."

"Uhh..." the DJ took a step back. "I don't really have it any more."

The group looked over to her. "What happened to it?" Twilight asked.

Vinyl smiled shyly. "The touchscreen was too small for my hooves. So I couldn't really use it."

"You know the Radio Barn down the street can modify it for you," Dan said. "You could take it to them and fix it so it would be easier to use."

"Uhh... can't really do that either," the white unicorn said. "I kinda threw it into a fireplace during an interview... and then it exploded."

"You threw your phone into a fireplace?" Twilight quirked an eyebrow.

Chrysalis grinned. "Was that interview a little too... hot for you?" The changling queen looked around and noticed that suddenly noticed that a silence answered her. She blushed and was forced to quickly recompose herself.

Dan kept flipping through his phone. "Hey, I think I found it. Listen to this."

Vinyl levitated the phone over to her, put on a pair of ear buds and plugged them into the phone. Dan pressed a key on the screen and music began to play. The DJ mare's expression slowly changed from curious, to enthusiastic, then slowly to puzzled, discomforted and finally... disgusted. She removed the buds from her ears, one ear twitching.

"That's... Earth music?" she asked, seeming shaken. "This... doesn't sound anything like any of my music."

"What're you talking about?" Dan asked, shocked. "This sounds EXACTLY like that song you just had up."

Vinyl shrugged. "I'm sorry Dan, I really don't think so. It doesn't sound the same to me."

"Your track sounds almost exactly the same as the one on my phone," Dan defended. "I don't know how you can't hear the similarity."

Vinyl chuckled. "I don't hear the similarity because there isn't one, Dan. It just sounds... different, I guess. Like something from another planet. I guess that makes sense, seeing as how it's from Earth."

"That doesn't make any sense at all!" Dan shouted. "Music is music whether it's from Earth or Equestria! The songs might be different but it's not like-"

"It's just... noise," Vinyl finished his sentence.

"That's ridiculous," Dan shook his head. "There's no difference between Earth and Equestrian music!"

The DJ put on a forced smile and removed her shades. "Are you saying I don't know my own music, Dan?"

"Well I don't know; are you sure you even heard my question?"

Twilight's eyes went wide at the exchange. Chrysalis covered her muzzle with her hoof.

Dan handed her his phone. "I've got tons of music on this thing leftover from Earth. I made sure to download plenty in case I ever didn't want to listen to someone talking. There's lots of songs on there and there's NOTHING different between them and Equestrian songs."

"Hmm..." the white unicorn put a hoof to her chin as she looked at the phone, weighing her options. "We'll see about that."

Chrysalis grinned. "Don't you mean you'll hear about that?" She received three contempt stares in response from the other three and lowered her head.

The group stood in the aisles for a few minutes as the unicorn musician listened to Dan's music. Going over each song, she only listened to the first parts before her expression would contort into disdain and she'd move on. An increasingly irritated Dan flipped through tracks on his phone while a nervous Twilight watched.

Chrysalis, on the other hoof, had found a new use for blank CDs by placing them in the holes on her hooves that were characteristic of her species. Sliding a disk into all of her spaces, she then placed two in front of her eyes and made two into earrings.

"Hey, look. I guess the "C" in CD stands for Changling now." she giggled. "This'll make it really easy for me to CHANGE tracks!" Dan and Twilight facepalm/hooved at the queen's comment.

"Can you change into inanimate objects?" Twilight asked, genuinely curious.

Chrysalis clicked her hooves together innocently. "Well... it's kind of something I've been practicing with Fluffle Puff but I don't know yet..."

"Wow... that was... wow," Vinyl shook her head and removed the ear buds.

"You see?" Dan asked.

"Hear*" Chrysalis corrected.

He pointed to the phone. "Every single song on there is-"

"-crap." Vinyl answered for Dan.

"Which is just what I- wait, what?"

The DJ mare levitated the device back to the young man. "Complete crap, Dan... that's what you had me listen to."

Dan stared back at her in disbelief, shock, stunned for a moment. "I... I don't under-"

"You had me listen to all of your songs, Dan, both Earth and Equestrian. I didn't hear any similarity in them to anything I've ever written... and quite frankly, I didn't really care for them. No offense, dude," she said, walking past them.

"But... but I..." Dan stammered. "I don't understand..."

"I'll catch up with you guys later," Vinyl said over her shoulder. She walked back to the entrance and exited, returning to the demonstration of the bass cannon.

Chrysalis put a hoof on Dan's shoulder. "It's all right, Dan. I'm sure Earth has a lot of interesting music."

Dan shook it off. "Eh, it's all right... it's, it's fine. She's entitled to like what she likes, no big deal."

Twilight smiled. She was happy to see Dan take disappointment so well but she decided she'd have to talk to him later about it, help him accept things. It might've just been because Dan and Vinyl knew each other from before but it was still progress she was happy to see. Sometimes friends disagree; it was good to see Dan knew this lesson already.

"I still find it hard to believe she thinks music from Earth and Equestria sound different," Dan said, quirking the corner of his mouth.

Chrysalis turned her head to offer suggestion. "Maybe she only likes a certain kind of music?"

"Everypony has different likes and dislikes," Twilight agreed. "Like Vinyl and Octavia. But they get along fine despite their disagreements. Like in that interview."

"You're right," Dan nodded. "Let's go see Octavia. She can probably tell that both the songs sound the same," he said, turning to the back of the store.

"Good idea," Twilight said. "And while we're here, we can-"

BRZZZOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWMMMMMM!!!!!

A loud pulse of pure base cut through the store, sound and magical energy combined into a blast of wub so powerful it knocked Dan and the others to the ground. The Bass Beam, the visual part of wubasonic energy narrowly missed the trio and shot over head, leaving the three on the floor. Instead of being deafened by the blast, Dan and the others only heard the beats of the song ringing in their ears just loud enough to be motivated to start headbanging if they hadn't been thrown off their legs by it. The store itself was fine, Vinyl having calibrated the bass cannon so it wouldn't effect the building. The biped and two ponies however were a bit shaken.

Around them, the store seemed to be quaking but in reality, that was their own bodies being vibrated and energized. This was the sheer power of Equestrian auditory engineering, the magic inherent in all pony music. But the bass cannon was also a weapon, a device designed to harness the strength of wubs and channel them into an energy wave with enough magnitude to disrupt any magical defense. Vinyl Scratch originally designed it to be part of a fireworks display but after a few villains made reappearances in Ponyville, she discovered it worked equally well on would-be invaders.

Dan slowly stood, grabbing an item rack to help him balance. "What... was that?"

Chrysalis landed on Twilight, the two scrambled to get themselves untangled.

"Pthbbt!" Twilight spat Chrysalis' hair out of her mouth. "*cough* Wh-why is there Cheeto-dust in your mane?"

"That reminds me," the changling queen stood. "We're out of Cheetos."

"*cough* What was that noise?" Twilight asked.

"Woops! Sorry, guys!"

Dan and the others turned to see Vinyl Scratch standing in front of the entrance to the store with her bass cannon pointed directly at them, or rather pointing to a spot just above them.

"We're okay Vinyl... I think," Twilight said back.

"It's DJ PON-3 now!" Vinyl yelled. "When I drop the bass, DJ mode activates!!"

"That's... great," Chrysalis remarked. Both she and Twilight rose to their hooves, their manes frazzled. "You okay, Dan?"

Dan's back was turned to them. "My... phone..." he muttered, voice quivering.

"Dan?" Chrysalis asked.

Slowly, the young man turned to him. In both of his hands was his phone, a jagged crack down the screen with the last image burnt out on its surface. Dan pressed his thumb to the face repeatedly, trying to get a response but the screen remained unchanged.

Twilight looked at the ruined device. "Oh my goodness, Dan, I'm so sor-"

"My... phone..." Dan said again. Slowly, the dark-haired man's hand balled into a fist around the remains of his cellular phone. His eyes began to narrow, jaw clenching as an inferno of rage built in him. Dan's face became a furious snarl, a volatile anger seething through him like boiling lava.

Chrysalis rose a hoof out to him, her expression one of deep concern. Twilight wore the same expression. "Dan, are you-"

Dan threw his hands to the ceiling of the music shop and yelled at the top of his lungs,

"DJ-PON 3!!!!!!"

For a moment, Dan's voice challenged the capacity of the bass cannon.

"Vinyl, you need to run!" Twilight called to the DJ.

The white unicorn took off her shades. "What?"

"RUN!!"

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Dan shouted a blood-curdling scream and dashed for the entrance of the store, running past Chrysalis and Twilight and knocking over two ponies presumably from Trottingham. He burst out the front doors like a beast ripping through its cage.

Vinyl backed away from the bass cannon. "Dan, I'm so sorry, I was just-"

"Sorry?!You're sorry?!" Dan's voice dripped with venom. He stomped up to the bass cannon. "You should've never brought this THING to this side of town!!"

"Dan, what are you-"

In a single motion, the young man flipped the bass cannon over so it pointed at Vinyl Scratch.

BRZZZZOOOOWWWWWWWMMM!!! Without warning, the cannon fired, knocking Dan back and blasting Vinyl and a couple other ponies nearby. Vibrating a bit, the machine quickly shut off after unleashing the blast.

"This thing is too dangerous!" Dan said, rising to his feet. "How you ever expected to...?" he trailed off when he saw over the bass cannon.

The other ponies had been knocked to the ground by the blast, just as Dan had but Vinyl stood in the center on all four hooves, unscathed. Her blue mane was blasted back and her bangs hung over he eyes. Panting, she looked back at Dan, two red orbs staring at him as she smiled.

"Do... that... again..." Vinyl said between pants.

Dan raised an eyebrow and a sinister smile spread across his face. "Oh, I'll do it again. Just let me make a little quick adjustment." He cranked dat sh*flutteryay* up to eleven and then pulled the memory card out of his phone. Hooking up the card to the bass cannon, he quickly brought up the salvaged track menu from his phone's memory.

"Let's see what the bass cannon can do with the oldies," Dan said. He selected the song Vinyl listened to early and loaded it into the bass cannon's system.

"Don't you mean hear?" Chrysalis asked.

"No." Dan pressed play. BLRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!! A bronze beam arced into the upper atmosphere turning the sky into a shade of burnt orange.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Vinyl screamed in agony as the beat from a relic of yesterday's top forty rang in her ears, overpowering her. Her knees buckled and she covered her ears with her hooves as the music of a previous generation washed over her, blasting louder than her own voice.

Dan grinned. "Sounds like an upgrade to me! I think I like the new and improved RETRO bass cannon!"

"AAAAAAUUUUHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Vinyl continued to hold her ears and scream, not even hearing Dan's chide comment. The lenses on her glasses shattered revealing her eyes wide open behind them, her expression one of unimaginable pain. The bass cannon finally shut off, the beam dissipating into the upper atmosphere. Vinyl was left shaking from the blast; her own voice died as the sound did.

"Critical hit!" Chrysalis shouted. "It's super effective!" Towards the top of the screen, Vinyl's HP bar drained to zero.

Completely overwhelmed by the retro ray, Vinyl's legs gave out from under her. The DJ collapsed, face-planting into the grass, unconscious.

"Vinyl Scratch fainted!"

"All right," Dan grinned and pulled a Great Ball out of his pocket, he shouted, "Time to end this!" Cocking his right arm back, he prepared to chuck the ball and capture the defenseless pony in front of him. "Go, Great Ba-"

"No Dan, stop!"

Just as he was about to throw the ball, his hand clutching glowed and he stopped mid-toss. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Chrysalis approach him with her horn glowing.

"Dan, you can't use a Poke Ball when they've fainted."

"What? Why not?! That doesn't make any sense!"

"I know," the changling said, releasing his hand. "But that's just the way the game works. Besides, if you could just make them faint and then catch them, it would be too easy."

Dan put the ball back in his pocket. "Good point..." he muttered.

"VINYL!!!!!" a voice from behind them screeched. The two of them turned around in time to see a gray blur burst from the entrance of the store and fly past them. Whipping their heads back around, they saw Octavia kneeling down over the immobile form of DJ PON-3.

"Vinyl, what happened to you?!" Octavia asked. "Speak to me!"

"Tavi..." the unicorn gasped weakly. "The music... so tacky... couldn't take it. I need... wubs..."

The gray mare turned slowly back towards the store entrance, a menacing glare on her face.

"Dan, you need to run," Twilight said.

Leaning a shoulder on the retrofied bass cannon, Dan clearly didn't understand the danger he was in. "What? What for?"

"RUN!!"

Octavia stared at Dan, Chrysalis and Twilight, clearly furious. "Who is responsible for this?" she demanded, her voice laced with an angry acid.

The purple alicorn took that opportunity to step away from Dan and the bass cannon. Dan looked to his left to see a lit-up sign pointing directly at him.

"Hey! Where did this sign come from? Chrys? Did you transform into that?"

A pony across the street waved at him. "No, I transformed into an innocent bystander; that sign's been there the whole time."

Dan rubbed his chin. "I see..."

Octavia was less amused. "Nopony hurts my Vinyl and gets away with it."

"Now, hold on a second," Dan put his hands out. "She's blasted me twice with her giant noise maker already! All I wanted to do is maybe listen to some music and get outta here."

The gray musician grinned. "Oh, you would like to listen to some music? Well, I have something for you to listen to..." From behind her seemingly out of nowhere, she pulled out a cello.

"Is that a cello?"

"Why, yes it is, Dan," the cellist closed her eyes as she spoke. "You see, Vinyl and I both have our instruments. But I don't need a cannon to put on a... explosive demonstration."

Chrysalis appeared right next to Dan again. "You might want to put on these earplugs."

"Why?"

"Because this is gonna BLOW YOUR MIND!"

Octavia pulled out her string and drew it once along her cello, producing a single, long note. It was pretty, symphonic but just a single note. It was over quickly and the only thing that followed was silence.

Dan looked around, confused. "Is... is that it? You wanted me to hear one note?"

The gray mare still had her eyes closed. Smiling, she whispered, "Wait for it..."

The sign next to Dan collapsed in the dirt. Chrysalis disappeared again. Confused, Dan hid behind the bass cannon, not knowing what was going to happen next. Octavia, however, didn't even need to open her eyes to know what would happen. The earth underneath Dan began shaking but mysteriously, only under Dan.

"W-h-a-t-'s g-o-I-n-g onnnnn?!" Dan asked, vibrating rapidly. Suddenly, a pillar of earth shot up right underneath Dan's feet. The pillar carried him up into the air as it rose. Twilight and Chrysalis stood as far away from the scene as the could, watching a sharp mound of earth rise like a tree in front of the music store.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Dan screamed as he tumbled down the mare-made mountain.

"Did I ever tell you about my first performance, Dan?" Octavia asked calmly, putting on a pair of sunglasses. "It was called... earth-shattering."

"YEEAAAAHH!!" Vinyl yelled.

Shaking slightly and covered in dirt, Dan rose to his feet. "So, that's how you wanna... play your little instruments, huh?" Not even bothering to brush himself off, he approached the bass cannon and turned it to the two musical mares.

"Oh, snap!" Chrysalis said. "It's gonna be a showdown, y'all!"

Vinyl finally stood up. "Ha, you think you can take on Tavi with the bass cannon? Tavi's a classically-trained music appreciator; there's no sound she can't listen to," she said, patting a hoof on her friend's back.

Dan narrowed his eyes. "Oh, I don't just have music downloaded on my phone. Back on Earth, I also listened to political radio, podcasts and even... advertisements!!" The young man keyed a new sequence on the controls of the hijacked cannon.

"Dan, wait!" Vinyl reached a hoof out to him. "The bass cannon wasn't made to handle radio advertisements! There's no telling what could happen!"

"Oh really?!" Dan ask/shouted back. "Then admit that I have good taste in music! Admit that Earth music is just as... musical as Equestrian music!"

Vinyl's lip trembled. "I... I... I can't!"

"Then you leave me no choice!" Dan smashed the red FIRE button. The bass cannon unleashed no beam, no surge of energy, no massive influx of sound and magic capable of repelling even the most heinous of threats. It didn't even move.

"What?"

"Ha ha!" Vinyl taunted. "Looks like the sound file won't play!"

"No... no!" Dan yelled. He punched in different commands on the console but they yielded no results. "Cheap piece of-"

Suddenly, the cannon started shaking. The vibrations continued as the housing and frame, its intricate workings seemed like they were almost coming apart. An ear-piercing whine came from its innards.

"...And tonight on an all-new CSI: Boise-"
"Wacky wailing inflatable arms flailing tube man!"
"-which is why Kinect should NEVER have even been-"
"-governor attempted to justify his selling the state's water supply overseas by offering constituents harmonicas-"
"-utter failure at everything you attempt to do, the very ground you walk upon is-"
"*applause*"
"-just one contains enough nutrition to justify playing video games forty hours a week-"
"TRUDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!""
"-with the countdown. I'm Casey Kasem."
"-occluded front to the NE, temperatures expected to drop by at least twenty-percent-"
"And I don't know how many times I have to tell you; I AM a Gator fan and I'm callin'-"
"Stoned to death. *laughter*"

The bass cannon continued to spew out incoherent audio clips, a string of voices and recordings that ranged from babbling gibberish to angry rants and tantrums. A verbal onslaught that made the very ground underneath the bass cannon crack from stress.

Both Octavia and Vinyl had their heads held in their hooves. "MAKE IT STOP!! PLEASE!!!"

Dan threw his head back and laughed, being used to absorbing useless information before. "HAHAHAHA! Admit it! You guys can't take a little-"

The bass cannon's whining whine grew louder, ignorant expression and useless drivel pouring out of it like a torrential downpour.

"Dan!" Twilight shouted. "Turn it off!"

"Uh..." Dan stammered. "Maybe you're-"

"NOW!"

Dan's triumphant smile quickly turned to concern. He scrambled to the bass cannon's controls and tried to shut it off. The buttons, nobs and dials were completely unresponsive. This was one mistake he would be hearing the end of one way or the other. The red FIRE button ejected from its socket, steam spouting from the hole.

"DAAAN!" Twilight screamed.

"LOOK OUT!" Vinyl shouted. "SHE'S GONNA BLOW!!" Ponies began fleeing the scene in terror.

"Hey, Vinyl?" Dan asked. "Is it too late to get those ear-"

The bass cannon exploded. A mushroom-shaped wub cloud appeared over Ponyville. Somewhere in Appleloosa, Braeburn asked, "Y'all hear that?"

Silence fell over Ponyville. In the aftermath of the atomic wubsplosion, no sound dared penetrate the noiseless atmosphere that befell the small town. It was so quiet for those few minutes there was no way of telling if even time continued to turn. Everything seemed to have stopped when the deafening blast exploded from the bass cannon. While nopony had been hurt from the blast, the entire town was disoriented.

Dan's ears rang as he leaned forward to a seated position on the ground. Pieces of the bass cannon were all around him but the device itself was largely intact. Other ponies, Vinyl and Octavia both got to their hooves as well. He saw their mouths moving but couldn't hear anything; the noise in his ears deafened him and even blurred his vision a tad. Shaking his head, he tried to get back in focus.

Twilight walked over to him as his senses began to return. "-ight, Dan? Dan?"

"Uaagh... for a second, I think, I tasted the bass," Dan said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I think ponies in Canterlot probably heard that..." Twilight commented. "At least the town's okay."

Dan looked around. Despite the massive wubsplosion, the town was still intact. No broken windows or structures, the devastation was but an echo that had faded into the distance.

"Of course the town's okay," Vinyl stated. "Like I said, I calibrated the bass cannon so it wouldn't affect the buildings in Ponyville."

Twilight sighed. "Well, that's a relief..."

"Yeah," Dan agreed. "But what about our house?"

Twilight opened her mouth to say something when the realization hit her. The purple princess's face went blank. Turning to the DJ, she saw Vinyl smiling back apologetically.

None of them could see it, but just down the block from where they sat was the remains of Twilight's library. Completely devoid of green, the tree house had been reduced to a pile of splintered wood, shaken apart by the intense volume of... volume. Leaves and Twilight's furniture were scattered about the landscape. Spike and Fluffle Puff were just barely able to escape unscathed.

Fortunately, Fluffle Puff's body and ears happen to be immune to sound being covered in fluff. The moment the onslaught of wubs began, the fluffy pony snatched up the baby dragon and initiated Evacuation Plan 14. Dan's drills actually paid off; Fluffle Puff quickly located the emergency grappling hook and jet pack, utilizing both to swing out of the second floor window and quickly ascend to a safe altitude of roughly fourteen-thousand feet. Fluffle Puff's execution of the plan was flawless and when the library came down, both she and a screaming Spike were far above Ponyville. Dan would have been proud to see Evacuation Plan 14's success.

"MY BASS CANNON!!" Vinyl Scratch shouted, running over to her wrecked machine. "It's okay, baby. Mommy's got you... there, there, it's gonna be all right," she wept, cradling the pieces of the former glorious noisemaker.

"Don't think this changes anything!" Dan shouted, pointing at the distraught mare. "That thing tore apart our house, my phone and our house again!"

"What about my bass cannon? You destroyed my baby all because you have bad taste!"

"BAD TASTE?!" Dan's face turned red. "I'M NOT THE ONE BLASTING HALF THE NEIGHBORHOOD WITH SOME POOR EXCUSE FOR A RINGTONE AT EIGHT IN THE MORNING!!"

"Poor excuse for a..." Octavia muttered, processing Dan's words.

"What did you just call my music?" Vinyl asked, glaring at Dan.

"All your bass cannon, any of YOUR music has ever sounded like to me was a bad ringtone! Believe me, where I come from, you hear a LOT of those. And all the wubs sound like is the SAME phone on vibrate multiplied about a hundred times!!"

"Well, at least my music is something ponies can dance to!" The DJ countered.

"Please, music from Earth would blow these ponies' MINDS if they ever heard it!"

Unblinking rage-filled eyes locked, the two were practically at each others' throats. Even Octavia backed away from the conversation.

"Hold up!" Chrysalis shouted, popping up between the white biped and slightly whiter quadruped. "Let's get this straight; you think you've got better taste in music?" she asked Vinyl.

"Naturally," the musical mare replied with a smile.

"And Dan, you think you've got the better taste in music?"

"Natru-lee" he said, mocking the DJ's tone.

"Then there's only one way to settle this," Chrysalis declared, getting up on her back hooves. "IT'S A DJ SPINOFF EVERYPONY!!"

Ponies in the street reacted immediately to the news. Excitement stirred in those that had taken refuge in the buildings during the first 'match'. The noise and violence had driven them inside but with Chrysalis' announcement came new enthusiasm. The few meandering about quickly became a crowd, murmuring of the news of a competition between DJs.

"A DJ spinoff?" Twilight asked. "I've never heard of this before."

Octavia stepped forward to explain. "A DJ spinoff is battle of the bands without the bands. Two DJs, two turntables and enough music to last all night. The song that gets the most ponies dancing is the winner, DJ with the most winning songs at dawn wins the spinoff."

"D-dawn?!" Twilight asked, shocked. She knew what was going to happen next; she was going to spend the whole night being forced to listen to loud music.

"Hold on a sec," Vinyl interrupted. "How's Dan gonna compete? Not that he stands a chance anyway but he's not even a DJ."

"What's to know?" Dan asked. "It's not like it's age magic. Anyone can be a DJ."

"Excuse me?!" Vinyl was taken aback. "I had to study for eight years to get my Ph.D in Wubology. I researched under MC Claw Hammer at Funk University in Manehattan and believe me, that's a tough school to get into."

"Actually," Octavia shyly spoke up. "You can do it online now."

Vinyl turned to her friend and tipped her shades down. "Come again?"

The gray mare rubbed the back of her neck with her hoof. "You can get a degree in Wubology and get your license as a DJ in about ten minutes online. Students can get a temporary license to use to gain experience while earning credits."

That remark left the DJ dumbfounded. "How did you find out about this? When did this happen, Tavi?!"

"There's actually an advertisement for it in our store. I put it up myself, thought it might help out business."

Dan smiled. "Excuse me guys, I think there's something I need to sign up for. Online."

It only took Dan five minutes to get a DJ learner's permit, much to Vinyl's dismay. The group waited for night to start the competition allowing Twilight and Chrysalis to return home to see the disaster.

"Twilight!" Spike shouted, standing outside the pile of rubble that was their house. "I'm so sorry! I don't know what happened, everything just went... smoosh."

"It's okay, Spike," Twilight said sadly, looking at the remains of her home. "The core of the tree is still intact. We can prop it back up, fix it in no time."

"Yeah," Chrysalis agreed. "We'll get Dan and Fluffle Puff and have the library back to normal before you know it."

The purple alicorn smiled with sorrowful eyes. "Of course. That's... what we do," she said, sounded exhausted.

The changling queen could see a bit deeper than the surface. "What's wrong, Twilight? It's not the tree, is it?"

"No... no, it's not," Twilight admitted. "It's everything that's happened with Vinyl, Trixie and... Dan. All my lessons about friendship, no one else is learning them. I wish there was just a way we could make Dan and Vinyl listen..."

The queen put a perforated hoof under Twilight's chin to lift her head. "Maybe we can."

Back at Wubway, the store had been converted into a dance hall. The two DJs took up positions at opposite ends of the building, two turntables ready for the showdown that was to come. Dan had some knowledge of audio equipment already, experience from having sabotaged a band's concert during an Arbor Day festival back on Earth. He felt he had done the world a favor, though.

Not being a part of the competition, Octavia approached Dan on the room's west side, just to the left of the entrance. There was already a crowd of ponies inside the building eagerly awaiting the festivities to come. It wasn't often two DJs fought it out; in fact, the last time was when Vinyl "battled" with Neon Lights.

"So... you're really going through with this?"

"That depends," Dan said, crouched down as he hooked up some wires. "Does Vinyl admit she's wrong about my music?"

"No..." Octavia answered.

Dan looked glanced back over his shoulder. "Then we're going through with this."

"Not even I agree with Vinyl on everything, Dan. She and I have different taste in music, too. I like classical pieces while she likes... dubstep. And punk. And metal," the gray mare cringed in slight disgust. "But we still live together and get along."

"Yeah, but did she insult your taste in music in front of you? In front of your friends?"

"Well, no, she's never done anything like tha-"

"Exactly," Dan said, standing and turning to her. "The only music she has respect for is her own! Well, I'm going to SHOW her how awesome music from Earth is and get the whole town dancing to a different tune!"

"Dan, I don't think she really insulted your music. I just don't think she has your taste in music, is all."

"Well, we'll just see how she likes the taste of defeat." Dan turned back around and returned to tinkering. His own turntable seemed to be a converted phonograph sitting atop a jukebox with two decrepit amplifiers next to it. Vinyl's own equipment was state-of-the-art, what Dan looked to be using appeared to be a fire hazard waiting to happen. Octavia shook her head and walked away from the young man. Whatever was the outcome of the night, she hoped the store would still be standing next morning.

Twilight and Chrysalis arrived back at the Wubway. They decided to take Spike and Fluffle with them in case Dan needed additional moral support or emergency medical attention. The "Grand Opening" banner over the store was replaced with one saying: "TONIGHT ONLY! DAN VS. DJ PON-3". Colored lights blared through the store windows illuminating the outside in rainbow strobes. The two almost had to shield their eyes as they entered.

"Everypony, welcome!!" Octavia's voice boomed through the intercom. In the center of the enormous dance floor that now dominated the store, a spotlight illuminated the gray mare. Two mobs of ponies extended from the walls on and on the east and west side were raised platforms containing Vinyl and Dan behind their respective turntables.

"In honor of Wubway's grand opening, we have a special event for you tonight! The legendary DJ PON-3 herself will engage in a spinoff with Ponyville's newest DJ, Dan!!" The spotlight split into two casting on Vinyl and Dan. The crowd cheered as both competitors bowed at their stations.

Spike nudged Twilight. "Who do you think's gonna be the winner?" As if on cue, the phonograph behind Dan's head shot out a gout of flames, nearly burning off the new DJ's hair. This only caused the crowd to applaud more, however.

Twilight knelt down to whisper in Spike's ear, "If we make it out of this, I'LL be the winner, Spike."

"All right, here's how we shall proceed! Two DJs, the best music that the two can come up with! At the end of the night, the DJ that got the most ponies dancing is the winner! The floor is set up with pressure sensors to calculate how many ponies are dancing at any time so if you like the song, stand up and show it!"

"Hmm," Spike said, scratching his cheek.

"What is it, Spike?"

"What if not everypony's hooves are touching the dance floor? Like what if some pegasi like dancing in midair?"

"I don't know, Spike," Twilight said, thinking about it herself. "Maybe it's something they didn't think about. Why? You think that could affect the contest?"

"Well, that and," Spike pointed to upward. "Fluffle Puff's stuck to the ceiling again."

"What?!" Twilight looked around. Fluffle Puff had somehow disappeared from right next to them and reappeared attached to the overhanging speaker system above the center of the dance floor. "How does she keep doing that?!" Twilight asked in exasperation. The purple dragon shrugged. Carefully and quietly, Twilight flew up to the ceiling to retrieve her friend.

"Without further ado, this is a DJ spinoff and we're all in it! Dan Vs. PON-3, DJs, spin it!!" Octavia shouted.

Vinyl's amps started blasting, vibrating the dance floor with the power of pony music. Ponies started dancing, storming the middle of the dance floor as the building was flooded with bass. Twilight returned the pink puff ball to the ground, wondering to herself if taping her hooves to the floor would be considered influencing the contest.

"So, what do we do now?" Chrysalis asked.

Spike donned a pair of shades. "Well, I don't know about you ladies but this dragon's gonna go get his groove on," he said, boogieing into the dance mob.

Twilight looked over to Fluffle and Chrysalis. "What about you guys?"

"I'm going to grab some punch. This looks to be a LONG night," Chrysalis said, walking off.

"Get some for me!" Twilight called after her over the music. "Make it a double!"

Before long, several songs had been played. Scoreboards in front of the turntables kept track of how many ponies were dancing. The scores were actually pretty even in the beginning with few ponies taking a seat from the action. Twilight and Chrysalis sat at a table off to the side, sipping punch as they both waited for the night to be over. Spike was busy having the time of his life crowd-surfing. While his clawed feet weren't on the floor, it probably didn't matter considering the score only kept track of ponies.

Fluffle Puff had apparently been set to 'vibrate'; the pink pony shook around the dance floor, gleefully letting the wubs carry her spinning around the room. Twilight lazily used her magic to grab the pony and put her back closer to the table whenever she came close to bumping in to any pony. Chrysalis was holding a pleasant conversation although Twilight wasn't really paying that close of attention.

"So, I was thinking of changing my image a little bit now that I'm starting to hang out with you and all," the changling queen said. "Maybe working on improving my reputation around town a bit, get a fresh start and start calling myself "Queen Chryssy". What do you think?"

Twilight sighed, sipping her punch. "Why are you still keeping the 'queen' title?" she asked, head propped up with her hooves.

"Well, I am still a changling queen. But I thought if I started going by something else, ponies might start taking a liking to me. Imagine it," she spread her hooves apart in the air. "Queen Chryssy. Kinda catchy, huh?"

"Sure," Twilight agreed sarcastically. "And maybe I can go by 'Princess Twily' like my brother calls me." Confound these musicians, Twilight thought to herself. They drive me to drink.

Fluffle Puff moved up to the table next to Twilight. The purple mare shot the hairy ball a glance, her bored expression impenetrable. Fluffle smiled and then blew a bubble gum bubble; the bubble expanded to twice the size either mare's head before exploding and getting all over her. Quickly, the puff ball gobbled the gum off of her face and resumed pleasantly chewing.

Twilight sighed heavily. "Fluffle Puff's been eating the gum under the table again."

Chrysalis ducked her head to look under the table and then quickly popped back up. "I don't think so. Fluffle Puff only eats watermelon-flavored gum. She must've gotten it from under the bench."

"Why? How do you know the bench has watermelon-flavored gum stuck to the bottom of it?"

"Well, because half of the bench has been eaten," Chrysalis said, looking over her shoulder. Twilight picked her head up to see across the room. A small bench for ponies to sit was propped up against the wall but half of it was gone, enormous bite marks where a portion of it used to be.

Twilight looked over to Fluffle Puff. "Did you eat the bench?"

The pink mare responded by blowing another huge bubble. Instead of exploding, this one broke off from the mare's mouth. Fluffle grabbed the end and tied a string around it, making a balloon and then tying it to Twilight's hoof. Twilight peered inside the translucent sphere that somehow stayed aloft to see pieces of a bench inside. The purple mare facetabled.

Fluffle grabbed Twilight's hoof and pulled it downward.

"I think Fluffle's thirsty now," Chrysalis said.

Without lifting her head, Twilight pushed a juice box over to Fluffle Puff.

Chrys reached out a hoof. "No! Fluffle Puff can't use straws because of her drinking problem!"

Twilight lifted her head up. "Drinking problem?"

Fluff grabbed the juice box by the straw and just like that, it happened. The juice immediately traveled up the straw and into her fur. The small amount of liquid was instantly absorbed by the puff ball mare, bloating her. She lost her balance and rolled, sloshing on the ground like a sponge.

Chrysalis got up and walked over to her. Grabbing Fluffle, she squeezed the puff ball over a cup, letting the punch drain out of her. After she was completely drained, Fluffle drank the juice out of the cup. Twilight stifled the urge to throw up.

"Hey guys," Spike said, walking over. "I think we might have a problem."

"What now?" Twilight asked, voice heavy with apathy. "Is the building coming down?"

"No, worse," Spike thumbed over his shoulder. "Dan's falling behind in the scores."

Twilight and the others looked up to the scoreboard. As Spike had said, Dan's score was trailing behind DJ PON-3's by quite a few points. While the quality and variation of the songs played did have something to do with the difference, so did experience. Vinyl was a professional DJ capable of reading the crowd and playing songs based on the projected mood of the evening. While Dan had a rudimentary understanding of this concept after taking the online class, DJ PON-3 was applying it to the next level. The DJ unicorn had the entire night planned from the beginning while Dan was just playing song after song. The results of Vinyl's strategizing were plain to see.

"How is that a problem?" Twilight asked. Despite that Dan was her friend and living with her, she didn't see how the contest would affect her.

"Well, for one, if Dan loses, he'll probably keep studying to be a DJ," Spike predicted.

Twilight looked over to Dan at his turntable. While trying to spin the record on the phonograph, he tripped and fell. "It does look like he could use the lessons."

"Yeah," Spike continued. "And he'll keep taking those online courses."

"Good for him," Twilight remarked, taking a sip of punch, not noticing it was Fluffle Puff's cup.

"Which means he'll probably be studying at home. At our house."

Twilight's eyes went wide. She spat the juice out of her mouth, spraying the space in between Spike and Chrysalis. A pony nearby slid in the spilled juice, nearly falling over. Fluffle Puff quickly ran over to soak up aforementioned liquid.

"Quick! We have to do something to make sure Dan wins!" Twilight shouted, panicking. "Otherwise... we may never hear the end of it! Or anything else ever again!!"

"I have an idea!" Chrysalis shouted. She ran over to Dan's turntable; he was still getting up from when he slipped and fell.

"Chrys? What is it? You want to make a request?"

"Umm," Chrys thought. "Yes. You think you can play a soothing song? Maybe something... classical?"

"Classical? What, like Enya?" Dan asked.

"Uh no, that is, I mean... something slower... you know," Chrys said, trying to lead him. "Something ponies can dance to a little bit... closer together."

"So, like Enya?"

Back at the table, Twilight continued to panic. "It's not working!" She eyed the scores. Vinyl's lead was almost commanding and she didn't look to be slowing down.

"I have an idea!" Spike said.

"What, Spike?!"

"Look! Fluffle Puff is on the ceiling again!" he pointed.

"AGAIN?!" Twilight spread her wings to ascend and retrieve her when Spike pulled her leg.

"Wait! We can use this!"

Twilight turned to him. "Use what? What are you talking about?!"

The purple dragon held up a flashlight. "Oh..."

Meanwhile at Dan's turntable, Chrysalis had not made progress. "Do you need me to spell it out for you?!"

Dan shrugged. "I know how to spell 'Enya'!" Chrysalis facehooved. Suddenly, the strobe effects died. The colored spot lamps, everything turned off. Even the music died.

"What? What's going on?" Vinyl asked, checking her equipment. On the ceiling, a bright light began to glow. As if a disco ball suddenly affixed itself to the roof, a swirl of twinkling lights spread out across the room illuminating everything in a soft, pink glow.

"This is it, Dan!" Chrys shouted. "Play a slow song now!"

"Right!" he said, cycling the tracks on his phone's memory card. "I think I have at least two songs by Enya..."

"GRRRRRRRRRR!!!" Chrysalis growled. Using her magic, she levitated the phone card out of his hands and over to her. Ponies in the audience murmured wondering where the music was. Chrysalis cycled through the songs on Dan's phone card as fast as she could, searching for something to fit the mood. Finally, she found one and hit play.

"There!"

Slowly, the music pumped through the amplifiers. No bass, no beats, no funk or rock, no hip-hop, rap, dubstep, wubstep or anything in between, nothing came out of the speakers but the smooth sound of the saxophone. It just so happened, Dan's phone happened to contain an extended cover/remix of the romantic track from the game Star Fox Adventures, including quite possibly the smoothest jazz instrumental ever based off a song from a Gamecube game.

All across the dance floor, ponies began to give in to the epic mellowness of the sax, melting into couples that danced together. Even those who were sitting down and resting rose to take part in the romantic respite from party music. Dan's score skyrocketed.

Holding Fluffle Puff in place and spinning her, Twilight saw Dan's score. "It's working! It's actually working!" Using Fluffle Puff as a disco ball to encourage an overly sappy mood and having Dan play a matching song was working to their advantage. Vinyl's music was geared to hoof-pumping parties, jamming out, not prom-style partner dancing. Powerless, DJ PON-3 found herself outside of her element. In some odd way, it was like watching one of Octavia's concerts. All she could do was sit back and listen.

Unfortunately, not all were comfortable with this. Fluffle Puff's nose started to itch. Quivering, she scrunched her face as she tried to alleviate the irritation. To no avail; the mare closed her eyes tight and sneezed, accidentally coughing up the flashlight illuminating her. The spat-out light flew towards Dan's turntable, landing inside the phonograph's projector. The device shook and then ceased to function.

Being an expert engineer, Dan immediately tried to effect repairs on the music box the only way he knew how: hitting it. Smacking the side caused the phonograph to shake. It then blasted out the flashlight; the light flew across the dance floor, now on fire somehow, and collided with Vinyl's amplifier. The flashlight burned a hole in the speaker and destroyed it, causing it to fall over. Vinyl was able to escape the destruction of her audio equipment as Spike ran over with a fire extinguisher.

The store lights flipped on over head, illuminating the destruction. The dancing ponies erupted into indignant outcry, transitioning from dance mob to confused mob in an instant. If something was not done quickly, they would complete the mutation into angry mob and then the pitchforks and torches would come. Twilight had seen this before. She didn't know what to do, hanging above the pack of partiers holding her puffy friend. Fluffle recoiled into her own fluff becoming an impenetrable ball of pony. In this state, she was invincible but unfortunately, that didn't include Twilight. Sweating nervously and trying to hold on, Twilight dangled like a piece of meet over a school of raving sharks.

"Not good... not good," Chrysalis said, looking around. Dan's score was still behind Vinyl's. If the party was over...

The silence was quickly replaced by the voices of the partiers complaining.

"What? Is that it?"

"AWW! I wanted to get my request in..."

"The party's over already? I thought it was supposed to go all night..."

"We didn't even get to the GOOD music!"

"Does anypony know when the raffle starts?"

"Michael, there's not going to be a raffle."

"Then why did that guy out front sell me all these tickets?"

"Can I get a list of those tracks for a Rock Band mod?"

"This is the worst night ever! I should've stayed home!"

"I have large beet-lover's pizza with extra hay bacon for the... 'Cutie Mark Crusaders'? Is this a joke?"

The noise quickly became a roar that filled the building. Ponies stood, meandered and searched for the source of the lack of tunes. Most only noticed the alicorn holding a poofy sphere on the ceiling.

"Dan!" Chrys shouted. "We have to do something! If there's no music, they don't dance. If they don't dance, they don't kiss and fall in love and I'm history."

"I don't know what to do!" Dan shouted back. "The whole system's fried! Wash, soap, rinse, spin, it's all unresponsive!"

Chrys walked right up to the young man on the platform. He stood up to look at her and for a moment, it was just them behind the turntable and ruined audio equipment. But she knew what she had to do. "Does the speaker system still work?"

"Yeah but I don't think we have anything that can-"

"Do you have a mic?" she asked.

Dan scratched his neck. "I..."

"Yo, Chrysalis!" somepony from the audience shouted. The two looked up to see who it was but Chrys was forced to catch a microphone that somepony threw at her.

"Dan, can you hook this up?" she asked. The young man smiled back at her, knowing what she was about to do for him. "Good, now all we need is for the-"

The lights turned off again but the strobes didn't pick up. No disco ball, no effects lights, not even a single glow wand illuminated the darkness. A spotlight appeared on the dance floor and slowly panned over across the crowd to shine on Queen Chrysalis. She levitated the mic up to her with a spell, ready.

"What song should I pick?" Dan asked, about to suggest a song for her.

The queen smiled. "I think I know one."

From the moment you step inside(step inside, step inside)
It feels like you wanna hide(wanna hide, wanna hide)
But in every single space, every corner of the room
There's no escaping the melody of that haunting tune
You can't get it out of your head
It fills you with fear and dread
But there's something you can do instead
Just remember what I said...
Sometimes, they're not playing your song
But you can still sing along
(sing along, sing along)
You can still sing along
(sing along, sing along)

What other people listen to might seem like noise
but if you listen for yourself, you can discover the joys
Of all the music and that songs that are around
So many different tunes and so many sounds
It might not seem like it but it's true
You can try out something new
And find out that you like it, too
But if not, here's what you can do...
Sometimes, you don't like the song
But you can still sing along

It's so easy to get stuck inside the norms...
But music comes in so many different styles and forms!
Some songs might not make you want to get up and dance...
Sometimes though, they just need a second chance!
We all have different likes and different preferences...
A lot of times, we get so wound up, we can't hear the differences!
But if you take the time to stop and listen...
You just might find there's something that you're missin'!

While it might be true that our world is small,
Don't think for a second you've experienced it all
And while you don't have to give everything a second try
You might find out what you missed when you passed it by
All the things you've prejudged, passed on, ignored
Are just samples of things to be explored
You might think you already know
Where something is gonna go
But if you listen, it can show
There's more to it now... and so...

To you, the music might sound wrong
But you can still sing along(sing along, sing along)
You don't have to dance all night long
But you can still sing along(sing along, sing along)
You can still sing alonggggg...
You can still sing along!

Eyes closed, Chrys lowered her mic. No music followed; another song didn't pick up when hers ended but it didn't have to. The whole room was filled with applause. Ponies cheered, stomped their hooves and hollered. If Fluffle Puff, who had been coaxed out of her shell-puff during the song was clapping her hooves. So much so she caused Twilight to drop her and fall into the crowd below but thankfully the partiers caught her and began using her as a beach ball. The poof-ball enjoyed herself.

Twilight looked at Dan's scoreboard, about the only piece of equipment working aside from the speakers. Although it wasn't a song Dan chose, Chrysalis had sung it using Dan's sound system making all the points resulting from it his. The scores were tied.

"Drat..." Twilight said. "I hope he'll be okay with a tie."

"Um, Twilight?" Spike said underneath her. "You could help Dan's score right now."

Twilight practically facehooved again. "How am I supposed to do that?"

"By landing."

"Oh." Twilight blushed, recovered and quickly landed. Dan's scoreboard ticked one more time, elevating his score above Vinyl's by a single point.

The applause picked up again and the lights resumed.

"Dan, you won!" Chrysalis said, hugging the dark-haired biped.

"I did! I DID IT!!" he shouted, hugging her back. They quickly broke the embrace, realizing they were in front of everypony in town. "Where's Vinyl?"

"Down here!" DJ PON-3 called. Approaching Dan's stand was Vinyl Scratch minus her shades. She put them on her brow brandishing her red eyes as she clapped for the two. "Good job, Dan!"

Dan just stared back at the DJ. For a moment, Chrysalis thought he was preparing to say something scathing, but he just smiled back. "Thanks, Vinyl. You, too."

"Fillies and gentlecolts, we have a winner!" a voice spoke over the loudspeaker system. Everypony looked to the center of the room to see Octavia holding another microphone. "The first-ever official Wubway DJ Spinoff is over! The winner is: DJ Dan!!"

Dismounting the platform, Dan walked over to her through the crowd. Clapping and back-pats greeted him as he made his way over to Octavia. Vinyl appeared beside the gray mare too as well as Fluffle Puff, Spike and Twilight. Chrysalis followed him, happy to have helped her dear friend win the competition.

"Congratulations, Dan," Vinyl said, extending a hoof. Dan took it and shook; his grin couldn't have been bigger. Even Twilight applauded, tears practically in the princesses' eyes. They were friends again.

Octavia pulled out a thin piece of paper. "On behalf of Wubway Partners LLC, we'd like you to have this twenty-five bit gift certificate redeemable at any official Wubway store!"

Dan accepted the small certificate. "Thanks... but this doesn't really fix my-" A photographer interrupted him. The group turned to face the camera as a flash captured their delighted faces and Dan's perplexed hesitation.

"Thanks for coming everypony! Good night!" Octavia announced. The partiers began to depart in one loud, massive drove, talking amongst themselves as they exited.

"-phone..." Dan quietly finished, looking down.

Vinyl put a hoof on his back. "It's okay, Dan. We can get your phone fixed at Radio Barn. My treat."

"Hey... thanks," Dan said, smiling back at her. The two followed the end of the crowd out the doors.

"So, why did you go with "DJ Dan" as your DJ name?" Vinyl asked.

Dan shrugged. "Seemed to fit at the time."

"You couldn't think of anything more... I dunno, unique?" she asked.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "How many other 'Dan's' do you know in Equestria?"

Vinyl rubbed her chin. "Good point. Hey, you wanna know how I chose DJ PON-3?"

"How?"

She snickered. "All right, you're gonna love this. The number three looks like an 'E' spelled backwards, right?"

"Right..." Dan narrowed his eyes skeptically.

"Well, I put P-O-N in front of it and it's like it spells PON-E! Like pony! So I'm a DJ pony! Get it?" she giggled. "Pretty clever, huh?"

Dan chuckled. "Yeah, pretty clever. For somepony just learning their abc's and how to count to ten."

Vinyl stopped in her tracks, pouting. "Hey! I thought it was clever! So did Octavia!"

Dan turned back as he walked, shrugging and grinning at her. "Well, if you think that's 'clever', I can recommend some online classes you both might find pretty interesting too!" he said, exiting the building.

The DJ pony frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?! Dan! DAN!!" she chased after him.

Twilight, Spike, Chrysalis, Fluffle and Octavia began making their own way towards the exit. The sun was beginning to come up as they walked out the front doors, the beginning of a new day.

"Wow... can't believe we spent the whole night dancing," Spike remarked. Fluffle 'pbthh'd' in agreement.

"I'm just glad it's all over," Twilight said, exhaling.

Chrysalis let out a deep breath as well. "Me, too."

Twilight looked over to her taller changling friend. Something about her had... changed. Not her appearance or something she controlled magically. Something deeper. But what? The purple princess looked into the dark queen's eye, noticing her clearly occupied expression. It reminded her a lot of herself, actually but not entirely. There was something about that look she'd seen before. Could she really be...?

"You really care a lot about Dan, don't you?" Twilight asked.

Chrys nodded solemnly. "I do. He's a good friend. A good..." she paused for a second as if realizing something before saying, "person."

Twilight opened her mouth to inquire more when Spike interjected. "You really saved him when you sang that song, Chrysalis. You think him and Vinyl are okay now?"

"I think they'll be all right," Octavia commented.

"How can you be so sure?" Chrys asked.

Octavia grinned. "Who do you think it was that tossed you that microphone?"

Both Chrys and Twilight almost gasped, then laughed.

"Well, maybe now that the two of them have stopped arguing, things will be a bit quieter around here," Octavia said.

Chrysalis looked up to the sky as if seeing something beyond the clouds and listening for it. "Somehow,... I doubt it."

...

.....hello? Yes, it's me.

...

If she's so smart, than why is this taking so long? I was sure she would've made the connection by now.

...

I know but you'd think she would've at least taking a look at it by now. I mean, she lives in a library.

...

Well, maybe I'm just not as patient as you. I think a little more direct intervention might be necessary.

..?

Actually, I was thinking you.

...

Like I said, when the time comes, I'll let you know. For now, we'll just have to wait and see.

...

I can see why she liked you. Then again, they tell me I have... odd tastes. I guess that makes us two of a kind, huh?

....!...?

I have to get going now. I'll have the pieces of the bass cannon delivered to the usual spot. Keep in mind what I said...
Mr. Director.

Outro- Closing Theme
Parody of 'Just the two of us'- Bill Withers

You see us walking down the street
We're not the type you'd like to meet
But if you greet us, we'll still say hello

We may not have been here all that long
Once in a while, we're in the wrong
But when squee goes down, we're the ones you want to know

Just don't screw with us
Don't mess around, don't even try
Just don't screw with us
(Just don't screw with us)

Jussssst don't screw with us
You can't cross us, you won't get by
Just don't screw with us
That's good advice

We don't always fit in with folks in town
But when trouble comes around
You'll be glad that we're all here

Some people still don't see the signs
They come here, cross a couple lines
But we still try to make things clear

Rule Number-One: Just Don't Screw with Us
Don't mess around, don't even try
Just don't screw with ussss
(Just don't screw with us)

Jussssst Don't Screw With Us!
Unless your name is Pinkie Pie!
Still, don't screw with us.
That's no lie.

This is the part with the saxophone, songs sound better with saxophone solos
That's why we added this part with the sax-o-phonnnnnneeee
This is the instrumental portion, I hope that we made it clear somehow
But if it wasn't clear before, I'm sure it's- clear- now!

You see us walking down the street
We're not the types you want to meet
But when you call on us, we sure to get the job done

We might not be what you expect
Celestia knows, we're not perfect
But you can still join us for the fun

Just don't screw with us
Don't mess around, don't even try~
Just don't screw with us
(Just don't screw with us)

Jusssst don't screw with us!
Alright, maybe Derpy or Fluttershy, the rest
Don't screw with us
HEY WHAT DID I JUST SAY, YOU GUYS?!

Just Don't Screw With Us~
Yes, that's what I said, but you're just repeating the chorus and-
Jusssssssttt Don't Screwwww With Usssssssss!
It's passive-aggressive, baby
Why does Spike have the deep voice in this?
Jussst, Don't Screw With Ussss~
We can make it, just don't screw with us~
Yeah, that's what the song is about, but I'm serious
Just don't screw with us~
Hey, the saxophone is back
Just don't screw with us~
We can make it, just don't screw with us
Okay... fine. As long as you get the message. We'll see you all next week, okay now? BYE.
We'll be back soon. And next time, we do it right!

~Fin~

Author's Notes:

I hope you all enjoy this story and the episodes to come. It's going to be a 26-episode series with plenty of fun. I hope to one day have the entire series animated, voice acted and broadcasted.

Episode 4: Dan Vs. The Crazy Train

"All right, and... steady..." Dan told Twilight. Pulling the hammer back slightly, he smacked in the nail with three quick strikes. "There we go. And that's the paneling for the study done."

Twilight released her magic grip on the board, allowing it to stay in place on its own. The portion of the wall it now was didn't shake or budge an inch. Putting a hoof on it, she could tell it was solid. "Great job. Now I can bring some of the furniture back in. Thanks, Dan."

"You're welcome," Dan said, brushing the dust off his gloves. Dressed in full construction gear, yellow hardhat and goggles, he unfolded a piece of paper from his orange vest. "I was wanting to get some remodeling done on this place anyway. Evacuation Plans four-through-five are off on the expected time by point oh-oh-seven percent and I believe the construction was to blame. We need to keep up with the drills if we expect to survive a combined robot-zombie-pirate-ninjapocalypse."

Part of Twilight felt like rolling her eyes but she thought better of it. Normally, she wouldn't think too much about Dan's numerous, complicated contingency plans and practiced procedures for dozens of different unlikely situations. But after what had been happening lately, maybe taking a few safety drills into consideration wasn't such a bad idea.

"Sounds good, Dan," Twilight replied, softly smiling.

"Hey guys. We just finished the floor on the kitchen." Chrysalis announced as she came through the incomplete door of Twilight's study with Spike riding her. Fluffle Puff followed behind them covered in paint and carrying tools.

"Things are coming together really quickly," Spike commented. "We'll have things fixed in no time." Fluffle Puff happily nodded in agreement, a power tool hanging from her mouth.

"Everything except Spike's shrine to Rarity," Chrysalis said with a sly closed-eyed grin.

"Hey!" Spike folded his arms. "It's not a shrine... it's an altar. Altars go inside shrines. And yeah, it kinda got totaled. But I can worry about that when the rest of the house is back to the way it was."

"Well, not exactly the way it was," Dan said, pulling out a set of blueprints. "I actually wanted to talk to you about some renovations we could make, Twilight."

"Renovations?" Twilight asked, levitating the blue sheet over to her and unfolding it.

"We have the opportunity to add some defensive fortifications to the house to help protect us in the event we're attacked," Dan elaborated.

Twilight raised an eyebrow as she looked over the schematic. Dan's plans for the tree apparently included a ring of anti-tank mines surrounding the perimeter, several surface-to-air missile batteries attached to the tree's limbs and the ion cannon from The Empire Strikes Back mounted on the roof. A crudely-drawn picture of the ion cannon blasting a Star Destroyer occupied the upper-right corner of the blueprint. "And... where do you think we're going to get all this, uh, stuff?"

"Radio Barn," Dan replied. "I still have a coupon to use there and if we use it by the end of the month, the installation's free."

Twilight rolled her eyes and levitated the blueprint to Pinkie Pie standing next to her.

"Oooh! You think we can save a spot for a new party cannon?" Pinkie asked, grabbing the schematic.

"Pinkie?!" Everyone turned to her.

"Where did you come from?" Chrysalis asked, looking around.

"I've been here the whole time!" Pinkie informed them. "You didn't see me come in?"

Fluffle Puff dropped the tool out of her mouth. Eyes narrowed, the puffy pony began growling at Pinkie.

"Fluffle! Down, girl," Chrysalis pulled back on her with a spell.

"Aww, it's okay, Puffy!" Pinkie said, reaching out a hoof for Fluffle. The fluffy mare sniffed the outstretched leg and gave it a lick. "Good girl! She probably didn't recognize me covered in pieces of the fourth wall."

"The what?" Twilight asked.

"Oh, I got some of the insulation from the fourth wall of the ground floor stuck in my mane. It must've made it look like I was somepony else," Pinkie shrugged. "That makes sense, right?"

Chrysalis smiled and put a hoof on her shoulder. "Not at all. So, what brings you by?"

"I was actually just on my way to the train station. I'm heading up to Canterlot to deliver a special cake for Cadence and Shining Armor's anniversary," Pinkie answered.

Twilight did a double-take. "My brother's anniversary?!"

Pinkie nodded. "Yep! They're having a party this weekend at the castle and they requested I bake them the most stupendously-awesome mouth-watering thing I can imagine!" She pulled out a blueprint of her own, only pink. A pinkprint. Twilight reluctantly levitated it over to herself.

"I call it the Yumiliciously Edible Super Scrumptious Strawberry Surprise Spectacular!"

"YESSSSS?" Dan asked, skeptical.

Pinkie nodded even more enthusiastically. "It's got more strawberries per square pound than dough!"

Twilight looked over the magenta document. The diagram for the cake apparently included three kinds of cobbler and ten kinds of pie, all strawberry and was surrounded by a ring of sugar. On top were two small figurines of Shining Armor and Cadence wrapped in a warm embrace. A crudely-drawn picture of the cake blasting a Star Destroyer occupied the upper-right corner of the pinkprint.

"You're going to be coming to the party, right Twilight?" Pinkie asked.

The purple mare hooved the schematic back to her friend. "I didn't even know there was going to be one." To her knowledge, she hadn't received an invitation.

"That's weird," Pinkie said. "I got a letter about it a few days ago."

While it wasn't uncommon for Twilight to be the last pony to know about something, it was still disheartening. She could count a couple different occasions where she'd received vital information late or been entirely misinformed. It happened often enough with important issues to be frustrating at times though usually she forgot about the circumstances upon learning more.

"Spike? We didn't happen to get any mail, did we?"

"Not that I know of," Spike replied. "But I haven't checked the mail-BLAAAAAAGHH!!" the baby dragon belched green flames, throwing him from Chrysalis' back and out the door. He tumbled down the stairs, bouncing off the steps. The flames materialized into a rolled-up scroll that landed on the floor as Spike landed in the foyer.

"Spike!" Twilight ran through the door. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine..." Spike called back. "I landed in the basement."

"But we don't have a basement," Chrys said down the stairs.

"We do now."

Dan lightly smacked his forehead. "Of course! I completely forgot about threats from underneath! I'll have to redraw everything from the ground up!" he said, taking the blueprint back from Pinkie.

"So, what's the letter about?" Pinkie asked, holding the scroll. Twilight levitated it over to herself and unrolled it.

"Dear..." Twilight stopped herself. This was her first letter from Celestia since her becoming an alicorn princess. She was so used to seeing 'Dear Twilight Sparkle' or 'My Faithful Student Twilight Sparkle' affixed at the top. But this time, the letter began with 'Princess Twilight Sparkle'. She read the title, her title, a couple of times as if mesmerized by it. Not for the first time, her wings felt uncomfortable on her back and a shiver ran up her spine. She read it again. This was what she wanted... right?

Pinkie lowered her head to meet Twilight's eyes, frozen on the parchment. "So... what's it say?"

"Oh, uh, ahem," she cleared her throat, "Princess Twilight Sparkle," even saying it sounded uncomfortable. "You're cordially invited to attend the Two-year Anniversary Gala of Prince Shining Armor and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza at Canterlot Castle. Friends welcome."

"That's it?" Chrysalis asked.

Twilight flipped the note over, checking the back. "That's it."

"Wow... hard to believe it's really been two years already," the changling queen remarked.

"See? You DID get an invitation!" Pinkie pointed out, literally pointing a hoof at the letter. "You wanna take the train with me to Canterlot?"

"Of course," Twilight answered quickly. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Well, you do have those wings now. You could fly there if you really wanted."

The purple mare looked behind her. "I... yeah." She could fly a bit indoors but out in the open was still tricky. The first time she tried flying outside she got caught up in thinking about flying, monitoring the winds, feeling the changing currents that she forgot to keep flapping. It would be a while before she was comfortable actually taking flight to anywhere far away. "I think I'll just take the train with you."

"Cool!" Pinkie hugged her. "But don't let me catch you trying to get any of the YESSSS before the party!!"

The princess smiled awkwardly. "Wouldn't dream of it, Pinkie."

"So, the letter says friends are welcome..." Chrysalis commented, leading Twilight on. "Know anyone who might want to tag along?"

Reluctantly, Twilight turned to Dan who was comparing the pink schematic to his blue one. "Daaaan?"

He didn't look up from the sheets. "Why, whatever is it, Princess Twilight?"

Twilight cringed. "Would you like to come with me to Canterlot for my brother's anniversary party?"

"Hmm," Dan thought. "Nah. Still have to finish rebuilding the house, getting the furniture moved back in. But you go have fun; it is your bro's anniversary."

"Really?" Twilight asked, surprised.

"Sure. I'll have things fixed up when you get back."

Twilight smiled. "Thanks, Dan." He smiled back at her. "Wanna get going Pinkie? Wait-" She turned to Chrysalis and Fluffle. "Would you or Fluffle Puff like to come?"

Chrys took a step back at the question. "Me?" She looked down at the unfinished floor. "You... really think I'd be... welcome?"

Twilight nodded, as if the implication of the Changling Queen returning to Canterlot was nothing. "I... I don't know."

"Don't worry about a thing," Dan said. "You guys go have a good time. I work better alone anyways."

"I think I'd like that. Thank you... Twilight Sparkle," Chrys said. This wouldn't be the first Queen Chrysalis would be going to Canterlot but it would be the first time she'd be a welcome guest. The queen of the entire Changling Horde, she once was imprisoned along with her hive underneath Canterlot for untold generations. On the eve of Shining Armor and Princess Cadence's wedding, Chrysalis tried to lead her people in an uprising to take over Canterlot and harvest the ponies' emotion for sustenance.

That was two years ago, two years ago this very weekend. It wasn't just the anniversary of the two ponies' weddings; it was the anniversary of the day Chrysalis and her horde had been defeated by Twilight, her friends and the bride and groom. It wasn't something she thought about often but when she did, the memories were painful. Now she'd just been invited to Canterlot by Shining Armor's little sister. Hopefully, the rest of Canterlot would be just as inviting.

"Fluffles? Would you like to come with us?" Chrysalis asked the pink furball.

Fluffle Puff recoiled into herself like she was hiding.

Chrysalis walked over to her. "Aww, it's okay Fluffle. I think she's worried about the house. We should probably leave her here."

"Good idea," Twilight agreed. "We won't have to worry about her getting stuck to the ceiling, at least, considering there is no ceiling."

"So, we ready to go?" Pinkie asked.

Twilight looked around. With the house still in shambles, there wasn't really anything worth taking. Her wardrobe still had yet to be moved back up to her bedroom meaning she couldn't even pack a dress. But maybe it was time for a new outfit anyway, something from Canterlot. Of course, she'd be taking her crown with her.

"I don't think so. Let's head to the train station," Twilight said. The three mares walked down the stairs and through the living room, taking care not to step through the gaping hole in the floor. Twilight glanced in to make sure Spike was okay; the little dragon looked to be building a miniature altar to Rarity.

Once outside, the trio began heading in the direction of the train station, Twilight, Fluffle Puff and Chrysalis walking side by side with Pinkie bouncing merrily ahead of them.

"Ooooh, this is so exciting! I bet the others are already waiting for us on the train!" Pinkie said. "Wait," she stopped bouncing in midair. "THAT MEANS THE YESSSSS IS UNGAURDED!" Shouting, the pink mare bolted in the direction of the train station.

Twilight shook her head.

"Is she going to be like that the entire ride to Canterlot?" Chrysalis asked.

"And back. And the entire time we're there. And forever," Twilight affirmed.

"Well... at least she won't blow her top at every little situation," Chrys commented.

"Good point," the purple alicorn agreed.

Just then, something caught both their attentions. A loud creaking noise came from behind them. The pair turned around just in time to see the tree house fall over on its side in a cloud of dust.

"TWILIGHT!!" Dan yelled. "WAIT FOR ME! I'M COMING WITH YOU!!!"

Twilight and Chrysalis took one look at each other and began running after Pinkie. "START THE TRAIN!!!"

"Why didn't we try to fly? Teleport? Anything?" Chrys asked.

"Sometimes, I forget I can do all those things," Twilight admitted. There were no excuses. On hoof, it hadn't taken Dan long to catch up to both of them. One long-winded, one-sided conversation later and he was sitting right there beside them in the passenger's car of the train, waiting to depart for Canterlot. "So, what happened to make you want to come with us, Dan?"

Arms folded, the young man clearly wasn't in a good mood. "You were gone for twenty seconds before Spike ripped out a support beam and half the plumbing."

"Why would he do that?" Twilight asked.

"You remember how he said alters go in shrines?"

"Yeah..."

"He wanted to build a shrine. Complete with its own ceremonial fountain. The moment he dug one of the pipes out of the wall, all the duct tape holding up the second story let loose and the whole thing came down."

Twilight shook her head, Chrysalis sighed. They both should've seen that coming.

"You're sure Spike's going to be okay on his own for a couple days?" Chrysalis asked.

Nodding, Twilight confirmed, "I've left him alone at the house before. He'll be fine... though I can't say the same about the library."

"Nothing we won't be able to fix," Dan remarked. "Not like we can't find another tree. And we'll be sure to get one big enough to support sufficient plumbing AND an ion cannon."

Twilight could only imagine what they were going to do about the house. It felt like once again, she was being forced to go with the flow. At least she would get the chance to see Celestia, Cadence and Shining. Seeing them always made her feel better about things. And Pinkie was with her. Though, that didn't necessarily make her feel better about things.

The pink mare in question stepped into the passenger's car from the adjacent car and trotted over to where her friends sat.

"That was close! The YESSSS is safe and scrumptiously sound," she declared, taking a seat next to Twilight. "We won't be having any issues like we had with the MMMM."

"MMMM YESSSS?" Dan asked, skeptical. He sat on the bench across from them, sprawled-out in a lounging position. Twilight and Chrys chose to sit together facing the front of the car as they waited for the train to get underway.

"Mm yes!" Pinkie nodded.

"Why do you name these... deserts such weird names?"

"Because Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness was too long to fit on the tag. You have to label things properly for transport otherwise you could mix up things like the Cheesy Crumble Cobbler Corruption for the Electric Exquisite Éclair Eruption. Believe me, you don't wanna make that mistake," Pinkie assured him.

"So, this isn't the first time you've transported some crazy pastry by train?" Dan asked.

"Nope!" pinkie answered. "Every couple months or so me or the Cakes will get an order from Canterlot for something really special. We bake it up and then take on the train right to the castle," she leaned in closer. "The real hard part is making sure nopony sneaks a bite out of it before it gets there. They're just so irresistible ponies can't help themselves!"

Dan sat up and scratched his chin. "So wait, you bake this stuff at your house?"

"Yep!" Pinkie confirmed.

"You put it on a train..." Dan continued.

"Uh huh..."

"And ride with it all the way to Canterlot?"

Pinkie nodded. "Yeah, and then I get to stay for the party to make sure it's delectable!" she slurped loudly. "Is every time!"

Quirking an eyebrow, Dan asked, "Why don't you just bake whatever it is at Canterlot?"

Pinkie giggled. "Oh, that's because I-" the smile suddenly faded from her face. The realization dawned on her: she didn't have to ride with the cake if she could just bake it there. Suddenly, her mind became flooded with all the memories of every desert she'd ever delivered to the castle. The nights she'd spent guarding confectionaries and treats, suspecting every other passenger of possibly wanting to take a bite out of her hard work. All the time spent worrying she would never get back.

Twilight leaned forward. "Pinkie? Are you okay?" she asked, looking over.

The pink pony remained silent. "Yeah..." she said after a moment. Her mane let out an audible pop and began deflating slowly until her hair became straight as a board. "Hu ha... It's funny is all. I didn't have to deliver all the cakes myself, HA!" she laughed sporadically.

She turned over to Twilight, eyes wide. "All those train rides I took. I just could've baked it at the castle. Hahaha! Probably would've saved a lot of TIME wouldn't it have, Twilight?"

"No no," Dan stood up. "We're not having any of that." Grabbing Pinkie by the shoulders, he gave her a light shake and looked her in the eyes. "Sometimes, we don't always think before things happen. Hindsight's twenty-twenty; you'll remember next time and won't have to go through all this, okay?"

Pinkie nodded but didn't say anything.

"Okay?!" Dan shook her again.

She looked up at him, color returning to her face. Slowly, her mane began to inflate, regaining its bounce. "Okay... you're right. Thanks, Danny."

"Dan," he corrected. She nodded and smiled at him, then the two sat down again. Dan kicked his legs up and returned to his relaxed position.

Twilight was awe-struck. Looking over at Chrysalis, she could tell by her expression the changling queen was just as surprised. Dan had somehow stopped Pinkie from going off the deep end, preventing a Pinkamena moment before it even started.

"Ahh," Dan let out a sigh, putting his arms behind his head. "Sometimes, we all get a little bent out of shape. When that happens, we just gotta shake it out of us and keep going."

Chrysalis and Twilight's jaws practically hit the floor. Dan actually said something... profound. "Dan... that was amazing," Chrys told him.

Twilight agreed. "I... I think I should put that in a letter to the princess."

Dan looked over to her. "Why? Isn't she going to be at Canterlot for the party?"

"Well, yeah but..." the purple princess just realized she never told Dan about her job. "You see, I write Princess Celestia letters about the magic of friendship whenever I learn a new lesson." How long had he been living with her? Was this really the first time she'd told him about this?

"That's your job?" Dan asked, still sounding skeptical. "That's why you live in a library?"

Twilight nodded. This was it; she knew he was going to laugh at her, question the validity of her occupation. Dan was overly critical of everything. He'd probably think researching the magic of friendship was a useless pursuit and she was wasting her time. She was prepared for this opinion, however. Her studies in friendship had led to her finding the best friends and she wouldn't trade it for the world. She was prepared for any criticism he could offer.

"Huh," Dan said, turning back. "Nice gig," was all he said.

Twilight and Chrysalis both exchanged glances. "You don't think it's a waste of time?" she decided to tempt fate and inquire further.

He looked back over. "Are you kidding? Friends are about the most important thing anyone can have."

Queen and princess both practically had tears in their eyes. He was speaking the truth. "I... I agree, Dan. You're absolutely right."

"Of course I'm right!" he declared, sitting back up. "If I didn't have friends, who would I have to back me up when the cops showed up? Who would help me take down corporations and conglomerates? Who would drive me to the hospital and pay for the treatment?" he threw his hands to the ceiling. "Without my friends, there would be countless organizations and individuals out there right now escaping justice and carrying on their unscrupulous activities against the innocents of the world! Friends are the greatest weapon in my arsenal!"

The three mares actually found that last declaration a bit unnerving but still touching. He was right about everything and it looked like Dan did understand the importance of friendship. Twilight would have to put that in a letter at some point though she would leave out the part about cops, corporations and hospitals.

"So, how often do you send her letters?" Dan asked.

"Every week, just about or whenever I learn something new." Come to think of it, she needed to write something new when she got home. And she was still waiting for a response from the letter she sent after the problem they had with Trixie.

"What does she do with these letters?"

"Well, she-" Another thing Twilight didn't have the answer to. "She, um, well, she reads them."

"And?"

Twilight scratched her neck. "I, I think she saves them. I hope." Wait, did she save them? What did Celestia do with her letters after she read them?

Dan leaned forward. "You've been sending her letters every week and you don't know what she's doing with them? She could be throwing them out for all you know! How do you know she's not laughing at you whenever you send one?"

Twilight didn't have an answer, wracked her brain to look for one.

"She does send letters back," Chrysalis interjected.

Pinkie piped up. "Of course she saves them! Remember, Twilight? That time Discord made us all turn on each other and she sent them all back?"

Twilight's face lit up. "Oh yes! Thank you, Pinkie. Yes, Dan, she keeps the letters."

"Yeah," Dan turned his head to the side. "But what does she do with what you've learned?"

Twilight opened her mouth and stopped. "I... I don't know."

Dan pressed her, "Is she writing a book? Teaching a class? Is she planning on getting them translated, sharing them with the world? These are important lessons involving the most powerful magic in all of Equestria being sent directly to the Princess herself, exactly WHAT is happening to all this information?"

"I don't know!" Twilight covered her head in her hooves. "I just don't know! I thought I'd know as a princess but I don't! Nopony tells me anything, I'm literally the LAST to find out about everything and... and... well, look at me!" she shouted, spreading her wings out. "I can't even fly outside..."

Chrys, Dan and Pinkie were silent. The purple alicorn sobbed openly for a quiet moment. Pinkie, not knowing what to say moved to comfort her friend, hugging her. The others, even Dan followed suit. The four shared an embrace with the weeping princess, the car quiet except for a few whimpers.

"Twilight," Chrysalis said. The smaller purple mare met her eyes. "I've been the queen of the changlings for millennia. There are still some things about changing I don't know. But I do know that sometimes, change can happen abruptly, happen when we're not ready. It takes time to adjust but there's one thing that hasn't changed: your friends."

Twilight smiled, glistening tears rolling down her cheeks. The train wasn't even moving yet she found herself moved but what her friends had said.

"We're here for ya, Twilight. Even if tomorrow you wake up and your head's on backwards," Pinkie twisted her neck around for emphasis, "We'll help you get things straightened out."

Dan nodded. "That's right. We've got your back, Twilight. And we'll get to the bottom of this somehow," he mashed a balled-up fist in his palm.

"Thank you, Dan," Twilight dried her eyes. "I'll learn to fly eventually."

"More than that," Dan sat down again. "We'll find out what Princess Celestia's been keeping from you."

"Dan, that's not exactly what I was trying to-" Chrys started to say but was-

"They're keeping something from you, they know more than they're letting on." Did he just interrupt me? How is that even- "And we'll find out what when we get to Canterlot," Dan assured them.

Pinkie waved a hoof in the air to stop Dan. "But the princess has said there's a lot of things even she doesn't know."

"That may be true," Dan folded his arms. "But it's clear she knows more than she's telling us-"

"You mean Twilight" Pinkie tried to interject.

"And that's not right. She should trust us with information this important to the safety of... the planet!"

Chrys shook her head but Twilight was actually beginning to be swayed by Dan's argument. Her gaze dropped to the floor. Becoming an alicorn princess... her friends' destinies, her own destiny, her brother's wedding, her brother's anniversary, Sunset Shimmer most recently... all these things Celestia could have shared with Twilight but she didn't. She should've shared more with her when she was her student but now as a princess, Celestia still wasn't letting Twilight know as much. Maybe it was time Twilight found out.

The conductor shouted the "All aboard!" marking the final call for boarding. The train then came to life; the passenger car lurched forward as the wheels began to carry them along the tracks.

The quartet did their best to get comfortable as the train pulled out of Ponyville Station.

"We couldn't have gotten first-class seats?" Dan asked, shifting uncomfortably on the bench.

"I don't think this train has any other accommodations," Chrys said, looking over her shoulders around. The car they were in was one of the only two passenger cars, identical to the one ahead of them. Behind them was the caboose where cargo and Pinkie's delicacy were being kept.

"Traveling with a queen and a princess, you'd think we'd be able to get some royal treatment," Dan grumbled.

"I don't really think it's necessary," Twilight said. "I've taken the train many times and haven't really needed any special treatment." In fact, the idea of being treated differently for being a princess was kind of unnerving. The entire fact she'd changed into an alicorn was still something she grappled with. Thank goodness she still had her friends, even Dan was starting to become someone she relied on.

Chrysalis put a hoof to her chin. "Being queen of the changlings wasn't that much different from being a drone. We all do what we can to support the hive, act in the best interest of the group. I did my best to lead but I didn't receive any special privileges just for being in charge."

"Maybe that's for the best," Dan commented, leaning back and putting his arms behind his head. "We don't need any more corrupt leaders taking advantage of everyone they're supposed to be looking out for."

Twilight grinned. "Oh? And what about taking advantage of somepony's hospitality?"

Dan turned his head to her quickly. "What's that supposed to mean? Who's the one that's fixing your house after Vinyl annihilated it?"

Chrys chuckled. "That's only because you want to turn it into your own private fortress." The three mares laughed.

"Hey, when the robots try to takeover, you'll all thank me for the upgrades I'll be making to the library," Dan defended.

"If you do turn it into a fortress, be sure to leave room for a party cannon or two. And maybe my party catapult. And my giant party slingshot. Party trebuchet, party man-cannon, party mortar pit, Gun on Ice Party Zero-" Pinkie listed.

"I think Spike has a better chance of turning it into a temple for Rarity," Chrys remarked.

"Good point," Pinkie agreed.

"Heh," Dan scoffed at the doubters. "You'll see when I'm done with it. I'm not one to be underestimated. Maybe I'd even make a good prince."

Twilight and Chrys both got wide-eyed at the statement. "You want to be a prince?"

"Ha," Dan laughed. "Not a chance. I can't stand being around royals, present company excluded. All those uptight aristocrats make my skin crawl."

Pinkie and Twilight could both agree with that. Members of the Canterlot gentry weren't exactly the most pleasant to be around. They both had been forced to tolerate them for an evening not so long ago, a night that had left them with a sour impression of Canterlot royals. Though Twilight and her friends had also made their own impression, something they were happy they'd did in hindsight.

"Aw, they're not all bad, Danny," Pinkie batted away the discomfort.

"Don't call me that."

"-you just have to know how to get on their good side."

Dan shifted again. "I'm just saying, if I was in charge, you'd see what I can do with it."

The image of a future Canterlot renamed Danterlot where Dan controlled everything and watched everything through giant monitors that broadcasted his face entered Twilight's mind. She shook it out quickly.

The passenger car became quiet again. The sound of the track clacking along became the only sound to break the silence. Outside, the landscape began to get more mountainous as the train traveled.

"So," Pinkie broke the silence, "anypony know anything we can do to pass the time?"

"My cell phone's broken or I'd have something to do," Dan said.

"How about impressions?" Chrys suggested.

Pinkie giggled. "You're a changling though! You can change into anypony you want!"

"I know!" Chrys smiled. "Tell me who this is." In a flash, the changling queen was engulfed in green flames. The fire quickly vanished and in Chrysalis' place was an orange earth pony they knew only too well.

"Applebloom!" Chrys shouted in AJ's voice, "What have I told y'all about swimmin' in the cider silo?!" Another green flash and Chrys changed into red-maned filly.

"Aww, but I was tryin' to get mah cutie mark in cider divin'!"

Dan, Twilight and Pinkie burst into laughter. "I think she actually tried doing that once!" Pinkie exclaimed between laughs.

"Okay, try to guess who this is." The queen changed form again, this time into a pink-maned yellow Pegasus.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Twilight. I wanted to come to your brother's anniversary but I was stuck inside my cottage all weekend. I shut myself inside my closet and couldn't get out because... I'm afraid of doorknobs," Fluttershy's voice admitted.

Dan and Pinkie both laughed so hard they fell out of their seats. Twilight wasn't amused. "That's not nice, Chrysalis. Fluttershy's just shy, not afraid of everything."

"Oh but she'd think it was funny, Twilight!" Pinkie said, pulling herself up.

"Well... yeah," Twilight agreed, allowing herself to smile.

"All right, who am I now?" Chrys asked. Dan and Twilight watched intently as the queen changed into somepony else. When the flames subsided, they stared at two Pinkie Pies.

"Hmm," Pinkie stared at her reflection, eyes narrow as she judged. "Not bad. The last changling who changed into me got my mane and coat all wrong."

"Maybe you just to forgot to shower that day?" Chrys suggested in Pinkie's voice, staring back at the same way. For Dan and Twilight, it was like seeing two identical Pinkies. The purple princess once more felt a sense of deja vu.

"Nope," Pinkie answered. "I marked it on my calendar. But you're pretty good."

"Back at ya."

"You can look like me and sound like me," the real Pinkie got off her chair and stood in the aisle. "But can you dance like me?"

Chryssy Pie walked right up to her. "What're you thinking? The Pony Pokey?"

"Actually, I had something else in mind. Follow me and let's see if you can keep up." Pinkie took a deep breath and stood on her back legs.

"It's almost like your seeing double!
But the truth is much more subtle
Your vision's been rearranged!
Come one, come all! Come see the Queen of Change!

Are you having trouble trying to adapt?
In your own body, do you feel trapped?
Well, I can see your potential that's yet to be tapped!
Take one look at me,
you'll see how easy
Being you can be!

At times, I can seem a bit strange,
But you've never met a pony like the Queen of Change!

There are things you don't know you're capable of!
Actions you can perform when things get tough!
So before you think that you've had enough,
Let me turn into you!
Let me demonstrate
All the things you can do!

Don't look at me like I'm deranged!
I'm just your everyday friendly Queen of Change!

Are you too afraid to try?
I really don't see why.
Do you doubt your skill?
No, you just lack the will!
And if it's confidence you lack,
Let me help you get it back!
I'll change into you, then you'll see
The full extent of your ability!

Do you have the talent but you fear the spotlight?
Let me show you to get through the fright!
Everything's gonna be all right!
Everybody's capable of doing good!
Let me show you how you can, if you would!

Any scope, any range!
I can show you how cuz I'm the Queen of Channnnnnnnnnnggge!!!"

The two identical magenta mares paused in the grand finale, hooves outstretched as confetti fell from the ceiling.

Twilight applauded. "Wow, that was amazing you two!"

Transforming back to her normal form, Chrysalis took a bow alongside Pinkie.

"Thanks, Twilight. What'd you think of it, Dan?"

The steady sound of snoring answered her. The young man in question was asleep on the bench, curled up to a plushie of Trixie.

Twilight giggled. "Well, I thought it was wonderful. You make a great Pinkie Pie, Chrys."

Pinkie nodded. "Yep! All you need is your own party cannon and-"

The door to the adjacent car slammed open abruptly. "What the BUCK is going on back here?!!"

Chrys, Pinkie and Twilight whipped their heads around to the door, Dan shot up in his seat.

"I'll ask again: what the BUCK is going on back here?!" Standing half in the door to the next car was a dark brown-coated donkey wearing a blue uniform. A pair of furious eyes scanned the passenger car's occupants.

"Woah, what's with the language?" Chrys asked.

Pinkie's expression instantly became ecstatic. "CRANKY!!" she shouted, running up to the stranger. Before the perplexed mule could say another word, he was wrapped up in an incredibly tight magenta embrace. "Cranky, it's so good to see you! I didn't know you were gonna be on this train! Why didn't you tell me you were-"

"Let. Go of me."

Pinkie did as instructed, quickly realizing that this equine wasn't the one she knew of back in Ponyville. "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought-"

"Assaulting an Equestrian Rail Administration Official.." he muttered to himself. He pointed a hoof at her. "I should you throw you off this train for that."

"I-I'm s-sorry, I didn't know you were..." Pinkie stammered, backing away in fright. While the donkey did bare some resemblance to Cranky Doodle Donkey, Pinkie and the others could tell right away this wasn't the same mule. Like Cranky, he didn't have any hair on his head though this was clearly because his scalp was shaved, not because he was bald. He had a combined moustache-beard around his muzzle that did nothing to hide the scowl he wore aimed at Pinkie Pie.

Twilight jumped in front of her. "Excuse me but don't you think that's a bit harsh?"

The donkey raised an eyebrow and calmly asked, "Harsh?"

"Pinkie was just excited she thought she saw a friend of hers. She didn't realize you were a complete stranger."

He paused as if to consider the possibility. "And who are you exactly?"

"I'm Twilight Sparkle."

"Princess Twilight Sparkle," Pinkie added. "I'm Pinkie Pie, party thrower extrodimare!"

"I didn't ask you," the donkey replied sternly. "And I don't care what kind of princess you are. I am conductor Samule L. Jackson of the Equestrian Rail Administration and while you're on MY train, my authority surpasses even that of a princess."

"What?!" Dan asked, getting up. "How does that work?"

This was not the time for Dan to have an outburst. Twilight turned to him as he walked over. "Uh, Dan-"

"This is a train, not a ship you can just take command of!" he declared.

The donkey took one step forward. "Are you questioning my authority?"

Dan blinked at the question. "I'm questioning why you even- yes, I'm questioning your authority! Why do you have authority? This is a TRAIN!"

"And this is a taser."

A perplexed look briefly dawned across Dan's face before fifty-thousand volts overloaded his nervous system. In one quick motion, the donkey jabbed a rod into his skin, electrifying him.

"GAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"

"Stop resisting! Stop resisting!!" the conductor shouted. Dan writhed on the ground, limbs jerking as the voltage caused him to spasm.

Shocked to see their friend being shocked, Twilight and Pinkie backed away. Chrys did not.

"Hey, what the-" Energy wrapped around the donkey and pressed him up against the wall. Dan still jerked as his body was released from the electricity.

Chrys' eyes were white. "You do not touch him." She stepped closer to the conductor, keeping him pinned. "You do not-" A bit too close. Though stuck to the wall of the connecting door, the official still had control of his limbs. He stuck the taser in Chrys' side, electrifying the queen.

"RAAAAAAAAUUUUGHH!!" The spell let loose of the donkey and Chrys dropped the floor, convulsing next to Dan.

"Oh my princess!" Twilight gasped, watching as both of her friends were taken out by the conductor.

Brushing himself off, the official withdrew the taser. "The four of you are coming with me. Right now." He opened the door to the adjoining car and held it open.

Twilight and Pinkie approached their friends on the floor. "Guys, are you okay?" Twilight asked, worried.

The two carefully stood. "Been a while... since I've been tased," Dan said, sounding exhausted.

"Uh... ugh..." Chrys panted, trying to stand. Dan moved over to help her to her hooves. "First time... for me."

"If you both don't get moving, it won't be your last. Up," the conductor demanded. In a straight line, the four followed the aggressive mule to the front passenger car. Unlike the one they were in, this one was occupied by other ponies. A group of four unicorns conversed towards the front of the cabin, a few crystal ponies took up some other seats and in the middle an earth pony was busy trying to get a sign into an overhead storage compartment.

The donkey lead the four to a pair of benches in the back, the first available next to the door they exited. They each took seats like obedient children that had just been scolded. "I'm going to keep you all up here where I can keep an eye on you."

"I don't think the taser was really necessary," Twilight said, looking up at him.

The donkey leaned over to her. "In the interest of protecting national rail security, I'm fully authorized to use non-lethal force to subdue any passengers I deem a disruption to the safe operation of this train. Do I make myself clear, princess?"

Twilight averted her eyes from his gaze. "I... understand."

"Good. Any more disruptions and the consequences will be more severe," he said venomously, walking away.

Twilight waited until he was to the front of the car before turning her attention back to her friends. Both Chrysalis' mane and Dan's hair were thoroughly messed up, standing on end from the electricity. "Are you all right?" Twilight whispered.

"Tear-gas, I can handle. And mace is actually a lot like tear-gas only tangier. But tasers?" Dan took a moment to push his hair back down. "I'm still building up my tolerance to tasers."

"That was... unpleasant," Chrys said, adjusting her mane.

Pinkie's head was drooping down. "I'm sorry, guys. This was my fault. If we hadn't been singing..."

"No Pinkie," Chrysalis put a hoof on her shoulder. "This wasn't anypony's fault. That conductor's just a jerk."

Dan cleared his throat, making point of the logo reading JERK on his shirt.

"Oh, I mean he's not a good jerk. Not like you, Dan; you're the good kind," Chrys corrected.

Dan smiled. "Thank you."

"Still, I think it was a bit extreme that he'd just up and zap you for speaking out," Twilight said.

"I think the conductor might be angrier than you, Dan," Pinkie remarked, looking over her shoulder to the front of the car.

"What makes you say that, Pinkie?" Dan asked, turning his head in the same direction in time to see the conductor press a pony's head against one of the windows.

"Did I say you could get up?! What's the sign say mother bucker?!"

"I dunno. Just a hunch," Pinkie replied.

"I say we throw him off the train, tie him to a railroad tie so that the next time lightning strikes-" Dan got a wild look in his eye as he continued.

"I don't think that's the best idea," Twilight commented. "Maybe we should just try to remain quiet for the rest of the ride."

"Twilight, what about my cake?" Pinkie asked.

"I'm sure the cake will be fine."

"No, no!" Pinkie waved her hooves. "I have to check up on it to monitor the temperature, the flavor levels and the proper balance of the frosting! What if something goes wrong?"

Twilight tried to calm her friend down. "I don't think anything's going to happen to the cake while it's on the train, Pinkie."

"Twilight," Pinkie grabbed her friend by the cheeks, locking eyes with her. "This is cake. YOU DON'T LEAVE CAKE TO CHANCE!"

"Pinkie," Chrysalis said. "Calm down, it's going to be all right. We'll be able to check on the cake when we stop, just relax until we get there."

"Okay... okay, yeah. You're right," slowly the magenta mare slid back into her chair. "Everything's going to be fine."

And it was. For precisely three seconds. Then, Pinkie's tail started twitching. "THAT'S IT! I HAVE TO CHECK ON THE CAKE!" she shouted. The pink mare jumped out of her seat and bolted through the door to the other passenger car.

"Pinkie!!" Twilight tried to stop her but it was too late. Turning back to the front, the mule conductor didn't seem to have noticed yet. The sign the passenger towards the middle tried to stow in the overhead bin had fallen out and Samule seemed to be berating him about the issue.

"She really cares about cake," Chrysalis thought aloud, brushing her mane back into place.

"What are we gonna do now? The conductor's gonna see she's gone and we'll get thrown off the train!" Twilight said, entering panic mode.

"Oh! I've got it!" Chrys said. In a flash, she transformed into Pinkie Pie. "There! Now he won't notice Pinkie's gone!" she smiled enthusiastically.

Dan and Twilight both facepalm/hooved. "Great job!" Dan said sarcastically, "But who's going to turn into you?!"

"Oh..." Chrys realized. Flash again and she was back to normal. "I forgot about that."

"We need to do something..." Twilight said. "He's getting closer!" Samule L. Jackson continued making his way down the aisle to them taking time to verbally abuse each of the passengers as he passed. It was clear he would reach them soon.

"Okay," Dan leaned in. "Here's what we do..."

Chrys and Twilight leaned in to listen. "Uh huh," they asked, both intent to hear what he had to say.

Dan opened his mouth and then immediately got up ran through the door to the other cabin. Chrys and Twilight glanced at each other and then scrambled to follow him.

"Dan, wait up!" Chrys whispered. The two mares followed the biped through the vacant car they'd just been sitting in minutes ago. Looking behind them, they knew it would only be moments before the conductor knew they were gone, if that even.

Dan quickly strode through the aisle of benches to the back of the car. He opened the door to the passageway that connected to the caboose and then through the door to the cargo area Pinkie had left open.

"Pinkie? Where are you?" he asked, stepping inside. It was dark; the only lights came from the small windows on either side of the car and the back. Boxes were stacked all around them, some haphazardly tied down, others simply propped against the wall. "Pinkie?!"

"Shh!" Pinkie's voice shushed him.

"What?"

"Keep your voice down! Cakes are sensitive to loud noises!"

Dan shook his head. "That doesn't make any sense!"

Chrys and Twilight entered behind him. "Why is it so dark back here?" Chrys asked.

Pinkie popped up from behind a box in the back. "So the light doesn't tamper with the temperature. Cakes are very sensitive to heat and light."

"What aren't cakes sensitive to?" Dan asked, almost exasperated.

"Being eaten!" Pinkie replied with huge grin.

Twilight was relieved to see Pinkie. "Okay, you've checked on the cake. We have to get back to our seats before the conductor-"

A loud slam drew their attention behind them. Looking through the small window on the door to the passenger car, they saw the furious form of Samule L. Jackson stomping towards them.

"Too late." Pinkie pointed.

"What do we do?!" Twilight panicked. "We gotta hide, we gotta bail-"

Chrys turned to the door. "I could turn into Celestia or Luna. Maybe Nightmare Moon can scare him away. Or I could turn-"

"Turn around and follow me!" Dan grabbed her leg and pulled her. Wading through the boxes, he made his way to the back of the car with queen and princess behind him. "We'll climb to the roof from the outside!" he said, opening the back door.

Pinkie shook her head. "I'm not leaving my cake."

"Pinkie," Twilight turned to her, "there's no time to argue! We have to get going!"

The door at the front of the caboose opened. Quickly, Dan pulled Twilight and Chrys through to the back just as Samule entered.

Dan turned to the side quickly and pressed his back against the wall, Twilight and Chrys did the same on the other side. They were on the small platform at the end of the caboose, nothing in front of them but the railroad that passed beneath them.

"Wot the hay are you blokes doin' on mai train?" They had all failed to notice a black griffon leaning on the platform's railing. He tipped his black, circular glasses down the bridge of his beak as he regarded the three.

"Uh..." Twilight stammered, trying to think of something.

"What are YOU doing on this train?" Dan asked, demanding his own answer.

The griffon turned to them. "Om Ozzy, Ozzy Osbarn. This ere's mai train and I stepped out ere to enjoy tha fresh air while we're traveling up the mountains."

"Uh... we're doing the same!" Twilight said, grinning.

"Uhm..." Dan thought quickly. Quickly, he reached up and grabbed Twilight's crown off her head and tucked it behind his back. "I think Princess Twilight lost her crown... on top of the train. So, we're going to go look for it," he declared aloud in the most nonchalant voice he could manage. He turned to the ladder at his side and began climbing it, Twilight and the others quickly followed.

"Awright, jus be careful up there," the griffon said, not really paying attention to them. The three climbed the ladder to the roof of the caboose.

At the same time inside of it, Samule L. Jackson closed the door behind him carefully. "All right, I know you're in here so why not just make this easy and show yourselves?" Silence answered him. It figured; fugitives never gave themselves up to the first offer. But at least he had offered. That was the important part, he reminded himself.

One of the boxes towards the back of the cabin shook. "I'm the law on this train! You can't hide from me!" he yelled, running over to it. He didn't draw his taser but kept it ready on the edge of his fore-ankle just in case. The box was small, about half the size of an average pony. Only large enough for somepony to hide in if they were lying down. He placed his hooves over the lid.

"Tampering with cargo, I'm adding that to your list of infractions so-" he opened it and stopped speaking. Inside appeared to be a... cake. A carrot cake to be precise, there was nothing conspicuous about its frosting or texture. Perplexed, Samule replaced the lid to the box. Could've almost sworn that-

The sound of another container shaking behind him drew his attention. He spun around quickly to see the pink mare's head sticking out of a box in the middle of the car, just looking at him and wearing the lid like a hat.

"There you are!" he shouted, dashing over to the boxed mare. Pinkie quickly recoiled inside the crate, the box shaking as the lid slid back in place. "What are you doing back here? Where's your friends?!" he placed both hooves on the top of the box. He opened it quickly to see... another cake, this one a fruit cake with nuts.

Samule looked at the box in disbelief. The magenta pony was just in this box, he saw her head poking out of it! He shook the box, looking all around the contents but there was no sign of her. Lifting up the box, he checked the bottom of it and the space beneath it. There were no holes, no evidence she escaped. This couldn't be possible.

Another box shook in a corner of the room. Teeth gritted, he ran over to it. There was no way out, no where she could run this time. He placed both hooves on the lid but then thought better of it. Instead, he knelt down further and grabbed the box by its sides and lifted it. It was too light; there was no way she was in there. He wouldn't be fooled this time.

Turning back around, he noticed the lid to one of the boxes quickly close shut and vibrate. Samule ran over to it, confident this time. He knelt down to the container and tried to lift it. It was too heavy for him to move. When he released it, it shook again. Grinning, he ripped off the container's top. "I've got you now! Stop tampering with-" Inside was another cake. Actually, not even. Just a mini-muffin.

The box in the corner behind him shook again. Turning around, he saw the pink mare's head sticking out of the box he'd only checked moments ago. Her wide eyes pierced the darkness as she stared at him. He lunged at the box as she popped back inside, grabbing it with his hooves. "You're not getting away from me!! This shenanigans stops now!" the box vibrated in his hooves. The sound of giggling came from inside. This was it, he had her now. Taking off the top, he tossed aside and peered in to the face of his perpetrator.

But that's all that was inside the box: Pinkie's face. Grinning back at Samule was a Pinkie Pie-shaped cake complete with pink frosting. He stared at the desert in shock. How was she doing this?! All around him, all the cargo crates in the caboose started vibrating like things possessed. Lids shook, sides quivered, he backed into the corner until he bumped into a box behind him. He turned abruptly in time to see the pink pony looking at him. She giggled.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" With the noise the train was making clacking along the rails, the conductor's scream didn't pierce the walls of the car.

On top of the car, Dan and the others struggled to stand their ground against the wind. The trio walked along the roof single-file with Dan in front, Twilight in the middle and Chrys in the back. The train was now traveling at an incline, up the mountains. It wouldn't be long before they reached Canterlot.

"So, what do we do? Just hide up here until we get to Canterlot?" Twilight asked.

"Why would we do that? Look, the conductor's in the caboose so we just climb on the roofs until we get to the front passenger car, swing in through the windows and be back in our seats. Then we pretend like nothing happened," Dan yelled over the sound of the wind rushing by.

Twilight wasn't sure about the idea but she also didn't have any ideas of her own. "What about Pinkie?" Chrysalis was the only one that noticed the sign that passed them as they went by.

"She'll have to fend for herself."

"You're sure she'll be okay back here?"

Dan shrugged. "Why not? She's got cake."

"That's a great plan. Dan but there's just one problem with it," Chrys said.

"What?" Dan asked in disbelief. "We covered everything: the conductor, the cake, the caboose,"

"-the cave."

"Cave?" Dan stopped listing. "What cave?"

Chrys pointed to the front of the train. "The one the train's about to go into."

Dan and Twilight turned back to see what she was pointing at. "Oh, that's not a cave. That's a tunnel." Dan said calmly.

"That's a tunnel!!" Twilight screeched. The tunnel fast-approached them, they had seconds to respond. "We'll never make it back to the ladder!!"

"Off to the side!" Dan yelled. Kneeling down, he grabbed the edge of the roof and climbed onto the side, hanging off the side of the caboose. Chrys followed suit, using the holes in her hooves to grab the corners of the ledge. Twilight reluctantly crouched down and did her best to position her hooves on the side, finally swinging down. A little too quickly.

"AAh, I'm slipping!" her left hoof swung off the side, the motion pulling her away from the car so that she was hanging by the corner of her right hoof alone.

Putting his feet on the corners of the side, Dan reached out with his right hand and grabbed Twilight's hoof, pulling her back to the side of the car just as the train entered the tunnel. Air rushed by them but the three clung to the side for dear life, the roar of the train echoing in the tunnel.

"Dan..." Twilight gasped, "Thank you."

"We're not letting go of you that easy," Dan said back.

"You know, I shouldn't have to remind us but..." Chrys started to yell.

"But what?"

"But we can teleport!"

If Twilight wasn't holding on for dear life, another facehoof would have occurred.

"Do it! Do it now!!" Dan shouted. The purple alicorn complied and in a flash, they were back inside the caboose. The three of them nearly fell to the floor, exhausted and relieved.

Gasping for breath, Dan slowly stood up. "Twilight, I'm going to write 'YOU CAN TELEPORT' on a note and tape it to your forehead... the next time you forget you can teleport."

Chrys nodded in agreement. "Along with 'you can fly, you can time travel,'"

"You can deal with this later," Twilight added, tired. "At least we're safe now."

"I wouldn't say that," Pinkie said, stepping out of a cake box behind them.

"Pinkie!" Twilight said, relieved to see her friend. "What happened to the conductor?"

Pinkie pointed a hoof at the door. The others turned in that direction in time to see it close.

Samule L. Jackson panted as he exited the caboose. Covered in cake icing and frightened for his life, he didn't know how that pink pony had done what she did but he wasn't going to stick around to find out. Something was going on here; he was sure of it. As he always reminded himself and others, the absence of evidence was not the evidence of absence. The safety of the train had been compromised, meaning there was only one thing left to do.

Dan and the others approached the door connecting to the passage between cars. Looking through the window, they saw the conductor.

"What's he doing?" Dan asked.

"I don't know," Chrys answered. None of them had any idea what he was up to but it didn't look like he had noticed them, not yet at least.

The donkey brushed some of the cream off his face with a hoof. "That is IT! I have HAD IT with these MOTHER BUCKING CAKES on this MOTHER BUCKING TRAIN!" Reaching into his pocket, he retrieved his taser. Instead of activating it, Samule turned it to the other side and ignited something else.

"What... the... force..." Dan said, awe-struck by what he viewed. A magenta beam of energy shot out from the end of the taser the conductor held, a solid ray humming like a blade.

"What is that?" Chrys asked.

"I don't know... but I'm thinking the roof might be safer now," Dan said, stepping back.

Samule L. Jackson plunged the tasesaber's pink energy blade into the floor of the connecting passageway, piercing the metal. The others watched in shock as the conductor drew the sword through the floor and up along the sides of the wall, cutting a huge line. He brought the blade up through the ceiling, back around the other side and finally back to the floor.

Looking back up through the window to the caboose, Samule grinned. He put his hoof to the space where he cut and pushed.

The passageway jerked and snapped off, disconnecting from the train where it had been severed. The rest of the train continued on ahead of them, the distance between the two cars growing.

Dan opened the door. The caboose was no longer connected to the rest of the train and was slowing down. His jaw hung open as he watched the car ahead of them race away from them. Samule L. Jackson withdrew his tasesaber into his pocket again and stepped through the door of the second passenger car.

"Wha... what did he just do?!!" Twilight asked, shocked.

"He... he just cut us off... from the rest of the train!" Chrys answered.

The group stared slack-jawed as the train disappeared around a corner of the mountain. Slowly, the caboose lost momentum until it came to a halt.

"I... I can't believe this..." Dan slumped to the ground. "This is worse than the airlines!"

Chrys stepped forward and opened the door. She stuck he head out to look around. In front of them were the train tracks, no indication of how far they were from Canterlot, Ponyville or anything remotely resembling civilization. To the caboose's right was a sheer cliff and a long way down, to their right was the beginning of a cliff and a long way up. Behind them was track, in front of them was track. They were between a rock and a hard place.

"What do we do now?" Pinkie Pie asked, worried. "The refrigeration on the cake was only meant to last so long. We have to get to Canterlot soon!"

"You don't get it, do you?" Dan asked, getting up. "We're stranded! You know how many miles we are from Canterlot?"

The pink pony shook her head, making the sound of a walnut clanging around the inside of a tin can as she did.

"You know how many miles we are away from Ponyville?!" Another head shake answered him. "That cake is going to have to last us until we make it back home! It could be days!... we're gonna have to eat the cake!"

"NO!" Pinkie screamed. She propped herself up against the largest crate to the side of the cart. "This cake is specifically for Shining Armor and Cadence's anniversary party! We can't eat it!"

"Wait," Dan realized something. Slowly, he turned around to Twilight Sparkle. "You."

"Me?" Twilight recoiled, not understanding.

"You," Dan stomped over to her. "Why did you teleport us back into the caboose?! Why didn't you teleport us back to our seats?!" he screamed.

"Maybe... calm down a bit, Dan?" Chrys said, also backing away.

"And for that matter," Dan looked around desperately, angrily, then threw his head back and shouted "WHY DID WE TAKE THE TRAIN?!!!"

Just then, the back door opened and a griffon stepped inside. "Oi, we here already?" he asked.

"No," Chrys answered. "The conductor just... cut our trip short."

The griffon walked through the car, passing them to look out the door for himself. "Ah. Well tha's a bit inconvenient."

"No, when he tased me and Chrys and hauled us to the front car, that was a bit inconvenient. This," he gestured to the bisected passageway, "this is crazy."

Ozzy turned his head quickly to Dan, tipping his shades as he did so. "Crazy, you say?" He closed the door and stepped to the side. Reaching underneath a panel in the wall, he removed the cover to a circuit box of some sort.

Twilight looked over his shoulder. "What're you doing there?"

"What're you doing here?" he asked, still focusing on the circuit box. Green lights flashed in rows as the griffon ran his talons over different ones, switching controls Twilight couldn't make out.

"What do you mean?"

"No, seriously, wot are you blokes doin' on mai train?"

"Um," Twilight took a step back, "well, we were on our way to Canterlot. Pinkie came back here to check on her cake and..."

"So, you came back here to see if the cake was cut and the conductor carves the car instead..." Ozzy surmised.

"And now we're stranded here. Which means, it's only a matter of time before we're going to have to dig into that cake in order to survive," Dan said, turning to Pinkie.

"NO!!" the pink mare screamed, still bracing against her box.

"Before we go slicing into anything else, I may have a way to get us moving again," Ozzy said, closing the panel. Turning around, he held two spliced wires in his talons close to each other. "But I'm going to need you all to do something for me."

"What's that?" Dan asked.

The griffon smiled and suddenly his voice dropped low. "Hold on." He touched the two wires together and a spark shot out from their ends. Instantly, the car lurched forward. Dan and the others steadied themselves as the caboose picked up speed, accelerating rapidly. Before they could celebrate, however the train car was going almost too fast. Boxes began sliding to the back of the car, Pinkie holding onto hers as it vibrated.

"Ha ha ha ha..." Ozzy cackled, his feathers rising as electricity flowed from one wire to the next.

"What did you just did?!!" Dan yelled.

"This is MY train, as I've said enough and it comes complete with its own rockets!"

"Rockets?!"

The train lurched again, accelerating further. The sound of jets firing pierced the cabin as the train began to race down the tracks, faster than even the locomotive it had originally been attached to. Dan and the others now clutched the floor in order to remain from being thrown to the back, clinging as the car throttled down the railroad and break-neck speed.

The caboose barely touched the rails as it flew on the mountain rails. Each slight rise and dip in the tracks caused the wheels to go a little bit airborne before clanging back down. Their speed was getting to be dangerous; the rockets on the side of the train that had been deployed by Ozzy's tinkering pushed them forward at a velocity intended for the entire train, not just one car.

"Now we should catch up to them in no time," Ozzy said confidently, lowering the two wires. The rockets stopped blazing and retracted into the sides of the car.

"Catch up to them?!" Dan accused the notion, "At this rate, we'll go straight through them!" He climbed to his feet, struggling to stand against the speed of the train car. The door to the front of the car swung open and broke off at the hinges. Dan and the others ducked as the door smashed into the door at the rear of the car, breaking it off as well. The two doors flew out of the car and over the railing, smashing on the tracks in pieces.

"Oh, not a chance," the griffon batted the idea away. "When we get close to them, we'll just slow down and recouple the cars."

"And how are we supposed to slow down?!" Dan asked.

"Emergency brakes," Ozzy replied. It seemed the mysterious driver did have everything worked out. He walked over to the other side of the door and lifted up the cover to another panel. "We'll just tap these when we start to see the other train and that'll match our speed with 'em."

Dan, Chrysalis and Twilight stared at the panel as the griffon triumphantly pulled it open. Their eyes collectively widened in shock.

Chrys pointed a hoof at the wall. "Your emergency brakes... have an emergency!"

"What?" Ozzy turned to see what she was pointing at. The cover he'd just pulled back was indeed the slot for the emergency brake... but there was no brake lever inside. Instead, a chocolate cake had been wedged in the compartment space, hanging out as icing oozed onto the floor.

"That's not an emergency brake! That's an emergency cake!" Pinkie yelled.

The griffon's face went flush. "We need to hit the brakes!" He flew to the back and ripped open another panel. To his dismay, there was another cake behind it.

"There are no brakes! Only cakes!"

Ozzy turned to Pinkie. "Why would they replace the brakes with cakes?!"

"Uh... well, they didn't," Pinkie said, still clinging to her crate.

"Pinkie..." Twilight said, concerned at whatever it was Pinkie did.

Pinkie gulped. "What if the train had stopped too quickly? The cake could've been ruined! I couldn't take that chance so I... I replaced all the brakes on the train with cakes!"

"That's... that's insane!!" Twilight shouted in shock. Talk about an unsafe obsession with cake!

"It's... it's okay," Ozzy said, nervousness in his voice. "With the rockets off, we'll slow down eventually."

"You better hope we slow down soon," Chrys said.

"What? Why?"

"Because there's a cliff coming up!!"

Through the empty doorway, the others saw a turn in the railway fast-approaching. The tracks wound around the mountainside to their left, avoiding the sheer cliffs directly ahead of them. Unfortunately, with the speed the train had built up, it was clear the train would not be avoiding the cliffs.

"Twilight?" Chrys asked, the entire group clutching the floor as the train rolled.

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't we just fly?"

The train rocketed down the tracks, reaching the turn. All though it wasn't a sharp turn, it wasn't dull enough to alter the train's direction, or as would be the case in a moment, its trajectory. The car's wheels clacked as they ran over the change in course and the caboose flew over the cliff like a skier flying off a ramp. But the train car was far less graceful.

As the train flew, airborne off the side of the mountain, Dan shouted, "CRAZY TRAIN!!!"

The train car flew a good distance, staying in the air for a good amount of time despite its less-than-aerodynamic qualities. It cleared the mountain's sloping side, continuing all the way down. Apart from passengers' screaming, the car sailed silently, almost majestically in the afternoon sun as it slowly dipped, beginning a straight plummet towards the ground below.

"AAAAAAHHH!!! AAAAAAAHH!!"

"Pinkie!" Chrys yelled, trying to quiet the pink mare. The two were pressed up against Pinkie's cake crate, the others clinging to the wall at the rear of the car as it angled vertically.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAA!!!"

The changling queen moved over and quickly covered the mare's mouth with her hooves, though she tried to scream through the holes in Chrys' legs. Still, Chrys managed to shut Pinkie's mouth and shout over the noise.

"TWILIGHT! Can you do that thing your brother does?!"

The purple mare was bracing against the velocity and the impact soon to come. "Wha... what thing?!"

"That thing-the shield! Can you put a shield around the car?!

Twilight's eyes widened. "Oh! I, let me try!" Leaning forward, she closed her eyes tight, focusing all her energy into her horn. A purple-pink sphere of energy formed around the train car, encasing it in a magic bubble.

Chrys, Dan and the others collectively breathed a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, it would be short lived.

At the front of the train car, the control panel broke off its hinges and flew back towards the cabin. While the shield could soften the impact, it could not protect them from gravity and inside the barrier, it offered no defense at all. Twilight gasped as the panel flew straight at her but there was nothing she could do to stop it while projecting the shield. It smacked the young princess in the face, knocking her instantly unconscious. The shield around the car quickly collapsed.

"Twilight! TWILIGHT!" Dan yelled, shaking her.

For some reason, Ozzy was completely calm as he braced on the wall next to Dan and the unconscious Twilight. "Well, I neva would've figured this'd be the way I'd go out. Would've been nice to do a farewell tour first, get some more action, see tha world one las time but-"

"WHAT DO WE DO NOW?! SOMEPONY SAVE MY CAKE! SAVE MEEEEEE!!" Pinkie screamed.

"Chrys!" Dan shouted. "You can use magic, too! You've got to make a shield!"

"That's... I've never done magic like that!"

"You have to shield the car now!!" Dan shouted.

Gritting her teeth and shutting her eyes, Chrys focused power into her own horn. An turquoise aura appeared around it, her horn sparked but no barrier appeared around the train. "I... I can't!"

"CHRYS!!"

"I- I need energy! I need love!"

"I love you!" Pinkie quickly said.

"Yes!" Dan agreed, yelling. "We're your friends! We love you! Now please, create a shield!"

"I actually don't really know any of you but I'm willing to spread the luv," Ozzy said, still perfectly calm.

"No!" Chrysalis shouted. "Not that kind of love!"

"Then WHAT kind?!" Dan asked.

Chrys jumped over the box, vaulting back to Dan's position. He looked at her, not knowing what she was doing. "This kind," she said. Pulling him close, she kissed him. She closed her eyes as she embraced him, Dan's own eyes going wide, wider with shock than when he'd been tased as their lips locked.

Being a queen, a changling and queen of the changlings, Chrysalis hadn't lived what would be considered an average life for a mare. Friendship, love, passion and compassion were things all creatures in Equestria experienced but arguably Chrysalis and her horde experienced them in the most different of ways. Like ponies, for them, the bonds made between two living beings were a source of not just emotional support but also magical strength.

The bond created between two living things could be compared to chemical bonds. The reaction of such bonds can cause the release of tremendous amounts of energy but ponies have found a way to harness the connection between individuals to create something more. By utilizing friendship, love and magic, ponies discovered they can use such bonds to create and harness limitless amounts of energy, power unfathomable.

Changlings, however fed on this energy by leeching through the bonds created. They became living siphons that drained another creature through the connection they created, a parasitic process that caused changlings to be both feared and hated.

Over time, though, it was clear something was changing inside the changling queen. After being taken in by Twilight, Chrysalis had long since learned to find alternative forms of sustenance instead of leeching off others. But she had never truly experienced love, never really felt it. Until she met Dan.

Chrys broke the lock, leaving Dan in awe of what had just happened. Energy surged through, more power than she'd ever felt before. She lowered her head, concentrating and her horn pulsed again. A bright emerald bubble quickly engulfed the entire train car, scant few seconds before it hit the ground.

Dan and the others braced for the inevitable impact. Twilight, still unconscious, was being held to the floor by Dan and Ozzy. Dan didn't really realize it though from having been smooched by Chrys; the action had left him practically paralyzed. This didn't help him when the train car reversed its position and the cake crate Pinkie was clinging to slid back to the wall, slamming into Dan.

The green shield impacted the surface, absorbing the blow and rebounding off the ground like a rubber ball. The train-ball was, for a brief moment like an enormous marble with a train car-shaped cat's eye in the center, bouncing a couple times and then rolling to a stop at the base of the mountain.

The shield disappeared instantly and the train car hit the ground on its wheels. A cloud of sand was thrown up from where it impacted that slowly settled along with the train's contents.

"Everybody okay?" Chrysalis asked, getting up and rubbing her head.

"Reckon om awright," Ozzy proclaimed. "Can't say the same for these two."

Chrys ran to the back of the cabin. Using a levitation spell, she moved the large cake crate off of Dan.

"Nuh...nuh... NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Pinkie screamed, breaking down as Chrysalis turned the box around. Apparently, the contents, Pinkie's cake, had shifted during 'flight'. When the crate slammed into Dan, it apparently also broke the side with the young man breaking through it. Dan's unconscious form slumped to the floor, covered in cake next to the equally unconscious Twilight.

"Dan! Dan!" Chrys shook him and brushed off the pieces of cake and icing. She looked over at Twilight and placed her hooves on both their shoulders. "Come on you guys, wake up!"

Slowly, the two came around. "Uhhhrrrr..." Dan opened his eyes, groggily.

"Dan!" Chrys shouted, relieved. She placed her hooves on his shoulders, brushing off more cake. "Are you okay?"

"Yessss..." he answered.

Pinkie sobbed into her leg. "It's not a YESSSS any more... now it's just a Y... as in the phrase, WHYYYY?!!!!!!" she cried, dramatically turning her gaze upwards.

Shaking his head, Dan stood. "What I'd like to know is HOWWWW we landed. What happened?"

"You got hit by the crate when the train flipped. After we..."

Dan scratched his head. "Why was I just standing there? For that matter, why wasn't the crate bolted down?"

Getting smacked by the box must've caused him to forget about Chrys kissing him. "Um... I don't know," Chrys quickly said. "But I was able to create a shield and get us onto the ground!" she smiled, causing the trademark squee sound effect.

"TWILIGHT!" Pinkie screeched, grabbing her friend by the shoulders. "TWILIGHT!"

"Graaaauughhhaaa..." the purple mare's eyes slowly came into focus.

"Twilight, how many hooves am I holding up?!" Pinkie demanded, waving her foreleg in Twilight's face.

"Wuu... one..." Twilight answered.

"Phew... was afraid for a moment there. Good thing you got a strong noggin there, Twilight!"

"Stronger than the train car, anyway," Ozzy added, holding up the panel that knocked her out. "My train may have a lot of tricks but without the tracks... not so much."

The others turned their attention to the doorway. Dan stepped outside followed by Twilight. The view of how dire their situation was presented itself before them; the landscape was barren. A desert of flat beige-gold stretched out into the distance with no signs of civilization or even shade to indicate a worthwhile trek into the tan expanse. Apart from a cactus or dune, nothing broke the sea of sand in front of them.

"Looks like we've gone from dessert... to just desert!" Pinkie said, popping outside.

"Pinkie, you might want to get back inside. It could be dangerous out here," Twilight quickly cautioned her friend. The 'danger' she was referring to, however happened to be the young black-haired biped standing next to her. Dan was agitated by the situation; who wouldn't be? Twilight just tried to make sure Dan didn't take that agitation out on Pinkie.

"Dessert... wait...THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!" Too late. Dan turned to Pinkie, fully prepared to vent his frustration on the zany mare.

Staring back at Dan like an animal cautiously eyeing a predator, Pinkie took a slow step back into the cabin. One step then turned into a dash as the magenta pony bolted in the cabin.

"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!! GET BACK HERE!!" Dan shouted, chasing after her. Twilight, Chrysalis and Ozzy practically had to jump to get out of the way.

"You two! This isn't the time for this!" Twilight shouted after them. Dan chased Pinkie through the train car from one end to the other. Pinkie ran out the front door and immediately ran left, Dan in hot pursuit. Pinkie then ran back around to the back end of the car as the furious biped followed her.

Thus began almost a full minute of cartoony circle chasing. The 'mulberry bush chase scenario' as its called(as of right now), played out with the other three trying to follow Pinkie and Dan with their heads each time they passed the rear of the car, each time in vain.

Twilight decided to intervene. "Enough!" she shouted. Stopping Pinkie and then Dan as he caught up to her with an energy shield, she levitated the two up to the car railing. She kept the two in an energy field to keep Pinkie from running off and Dan from strangling her.

"Dan, stop chasing Pinkie. It doesn't MATTER who's fault it is, you're not helping," Twilight scolded.

The young man folded his arms and turned away from both ponies.

"As for you," Twilight turned to Pinkie, "Stop acting so crazy about cake."

Pinkie's eyebrow rose. "You do know who you're talking to, right?"

"I DO," Twilight sternly affirmed. "You both need to calm down when these things happen. It's tough when accidents occur but when they do, we need to work together to get through them, not fight each other or try and go off on your own. Okay?"

"Okay..." the pair echoed. Relieved, Twilight released them from her spell-grip.

"Speaking o' which, if you all are quite done, I think I may have a solution to the problem," Ozzy said from inside the train car.

"Really? You can get us to Canterlot?" Chrys asked, hopeful. They all looked over to the mysterious griffon.

"Maybe. But first we have to get the car back on the tracks."

"And exactly how are we going to do that?" Dan asked, voice full of angry skepticism and doubt. "We're at the bottom of the mountain and the railroad's at the top."

"Not to mention," Twilight looked over the side of the car, "with all this sand, we wouldn't be able to get the wheels moving."

"What about the rocket boosters?" Pinkie asked.

Ozzy walked over to the side panel. "The rockets are charged by the wheels rolling on the tracks by spinning the motor and generating electricity. But if the wheels aren't spinning, the rockets won't charge. If we can't get the wheels turning, find some kind of traction, the boosters are useless."

"Wait... the cake!" Dan realized.

"NO!" Pinkie shouted. She braced herself against the remains of her box. "It's been through enough!"

"Pinkie..." Twilight cast a frown at her friend.

"Fine...." the pink mare sunk her head low, defeated.

"Go ahead, Dan."

"Pinkie, you said that cake had more strawberries per square pound than dough, right?" Dan asked.

"Yeah..."

"If that's the case, we might be able to use it to provide the wheels with some amount of traction."

Pinkie put a hoof to her chin. "If there's no other way," she sadly remarked. "but how do we get the wheels moving? Should we get out and push?"

"I don't think any of us are strong enough to push or pull the car up the mountain, with muscle or magic," Twilight remarked. "If only my brother was here..."

"Or Big Macintosh. I bet he could pull it if he was here," Pinkie added, sitting down.

Dan's eyes lit up. "Maybe he can be."

"What?"

"Chrys, if you change into Big Macintosh, do you think you'll be able to pull the car?"

Chrys clicked her hooves together nervously. "I dunno. Maybe."

"It's worth a try," Dan said, stepping into the train car. "We'll tie you to the end of the fire hose on the floor and you can try to pull us. Pinkie, Twilight and- it's Ozzy, right?"

"Aye."

"Let's start breaking open these cakes and spreading them at the base of the wheels to get some traction. After that's done, we'll push the train along while Chrys pulls and steers from the front. We ready?"

"Ready!" the others declared. They had a plan, a good one. If they all worked together, just maybe they would succeed.

"All right. Let's re-rail this train!" Dan shouted.

Chrysalis shot a hoof into the air. "Cue the montage!"

Once in a while, things happen that you don't expect
Something out of the ordinary that you'd never suspect
Sometimes it's not your fault but nopony is perfect
But you can't avoid your problems no,
you gotta be direct

Sometimes things happen that get in your way
But with some help from your friends, you can make it through the day
We've got to listen to each other and what we all have to say
It's not easy, I know,
But it'll be okayyyyyy!!

Somehow, we gotta get
Back on Track!
Find some way to get the way that things were back
All together now
let's get
Back on track!
Before the pressure makes us crack... we gotta get back on track!

How could it ever have come to this?
Did we do something wrong? Was it something that we missed?
How can we ever move forward if these problems persist?
Sometimes, we all need just a little assiiiiiiiiist

Not everything in our lives is always easy
At some point we all encounter difficulty
It's okay to ask for help and if you do, you'll see
You can accomplish any goal eventually!

Keep it going now!
Let's get
Back on track!
Find a way through each and every single setback!
All together now! Let's get
Back on track!
We can cover for each other if there's something we lack
C'mon, let's show 'em how!
Let's get
Back on track
Not a single step back... we're gonna get back on track!

If your progress starts to slowing
There's a way to get things flowing
It can be tough without knowing
but when your cracks are showing
You just gotta pick yourself up and get going!!

Everybody now, let's get
Back on Track!
We've got to find a way to get the way things were back!
Let's keep it going now, let's get
Back on Track!

One step after the other
push a button, pull a lever
We've got to help one another
We can do this if we work together!

One more time now, let's get
Back on Track!
If we work together, we can pick up the slack!
We got it going now, let's get
Back on Track!
There's nothing we can't do and that's a fact!
We're almost there now, let's get
Back on Track!
We won't let the pressure make us crack... one step at a time, we're gonna get back on track!!

Slowly but steadily, the group pulled the train car to through the sand. Chrysalis, having transformed into Big Mac pulled the train using the fire hose as a makeshift harness. With the others pushing, the car trudged through the strawberry-covered ground. When they finally got it up to the base of the mountain, Ozzy activated the train car's rockets, causing them to jet up the side. The sight of a caboose riding up the side of a cliff would've surprised quite few if the only individuals around hadn't been already inside it.

In no time at all, the train car rocketed up to level with the railway, shooting over the cliff and landing right on them. The wheels automatically realigned themselves with the tracks and the caboose was re-railed once again. They were on their way to Canterlot once more as if they'd never been derailed in the first place.

"We did it... I can't believe we did it!" Dan said, voice full of relief.

"We did!" Twilight agreed. "We should be able to get to Canterlot in no time if we keep up this speed!"

"Just as long as we don't go off the rails again," Chrys commented, steadying herself in the car.

"Won't be a problem," Ozzy said, clicking a switch on the panel by the door at the front. "We'll activate the boosters in small increments to keep our speed up and stay at a nice, easy pace."

"And we couldn't have done that in the first place because...?" Dan inquired, annoyed. But the mysterious griffon in glasses just smiled back at him, a glint of something in his shades.

"Dan," Twilight grabbed his shoulders with her hooves, "we don't have to worry about that now. We're on our way to Canterlot and everything's going to be fine."

Dan paused for a moment, frowning, thinking. "You're right. I guess everything turned out all right after all."

"Of course it did," Twilight happily affirmed, patting him. "We'll be at Canterlot in no time."

"Buck, at this rate, we'll catch up to the rest of the train before we get there," Ozzy remarked at their speed.

"What happens when we catch up to them?" Chrys asked, her gaze focused out the front door.

Ozzy batted the thought away. "Oh, they're probably in Canterlot already. Not much of a chance of us reaching them now."

"You're probably right," Chrys said gleefully. The group was then quiet as the train entered another tunnel. The fire from the rocket engines' occasional jet illuminated the passage. After a minute roaring through the darkness, the train exited the tunnel out to a flatter plain of the mountain. They were nearing Canterlot. Their gazes were focused through the doorway in front of the car in eager anticipation of their arrival to the castle city.

Pinkie frowned. "Hey guys?"

The others turned to her. "Yeah, Pinkie?" Twilight asked.

"Does anyone else hear that? It sounds like another train."

Chrysalis looked out the back door. "Oh, that's probably because there's a train behind us."

"Ah," Pinkie said, understanding.

The group's eyes save for Pinkie and Chrys' went wide. "THERE'S A TRAIN BEHIND US?!"

Dan and Twilight scrambled to the back to see. Another locomotive was bearing down on them from the rear. Not just any locomotive; the very one pulling the train the car they were currently in had been attached to.

"That's the train we were on!" Pinkie shouted, pointing a hoof. The engine of the train was practically tailgating them. It would've been close enough to jump onto

"What's it doing behind us?!!" Twilight asked, exasperated.

Ozzy pushed back his shades. "Calm down, looks like we'll just beat 'em to Canterlot, eh?"

"Sure..." Twilight said, calming herself. "We'll just roll into Canterlot Station and explain to them how the caboose wound up first. That'll be easy, right?"

Chrys patted her on the back. "Not at all."

The train behind them suddenly accelerated rapidly, slamming into the front. The caboose jumped forward as its wheels were temporarily lifted slightly before crashing down on the tracks.

The three mares, griffon and bipedal alien were thrown to the floor. "They just hit us! What the heck is going on?!" Dan yelled.

A loud voice from the train's engine answered him: "I didn't expect having to use this."

"Something's going on with the train!" Chrys pointed.

Behind the locomotive, the car attached to the engine deployed some kind of machine. Slowly, a large, two-winged butterfly-shaped robot took flight. The contraption hung in the air scant few meters above the train engine, tethered to the roof of the car it had rose from. Dan and the others watched as the metal thing bobbed like a kite in midair, sunlight reflecting off its huge mirror-like wings.

"You're very lucky."

"What... what is that?!" Dan asked the question that was on all their minds. While one might assume that when presented with such strange circumstances none of them would have an answer, this was not the case.

In fact, Twilight noticed Pinkie shying away from the doorway. "Pinkie..."

"I'm sorry! I had no idea this would happen!"

"What?" Dan asked. "What do you mean? What is that thing?!"

"Remember when I told you I installed a state-of-the-art security system to safeguard the train?"

"Yes..."

"Well, this is it," Pinkie said nervously.

"Where did you get something like that?!" Dan demanded, grabbing Pinkie by the shoulders.

The pink mare turned her gaze to the side. "Radio barn..." she admitted.

Dan raised an eyebrow as he watched the silver kite-like machine hovering over the engine behind them. "What does that thing even do?"

As if to answer Dan's question for itself, the contraption launched a flurry of arrows into the air. Before Dan and the others could even tell what they were, the arrows arced towards the train car and came down on its roof. Metal points the size of tree trunks pierced the ceiling, one even coming down to touch the floor.

"Woah!" Ozzy dodged one of the spears. Brushing himself off, he quickly flew to the back of the car. Grabbing the doorway, he poked his head outside. "Oi! What the bloody hay do you think you're doin' to mah train?!"

Not knowing what else to do or maybe acting out of pure rage, Dan picked up a splintered piece of wood off the floor and hurled it at the floating bug-like object. Not that it needed to, but the train's newest attachment simply hovered out of the way, gracefully dodging the flung debris as if it had just decided to change position.

"You know of any spells that can take that thing out?!" Dan asked Twilight.

"Umm, well, I could try, maybe-" Twilight stammered, then closed her eyes. Her horn glowed with power and she unleashed a bolt of magical energy. The released ray of magic bounced harmlessly off the strange machine's armor.

"It's no good!" Pinkie shouted. "Its armor is resistant to magic!"

"Step on the gas."

The train engine lurched forward again, slamming into the back of the car and jostling them.

"You crifting plonker!!" the griffon shouted, shaking his fist at the train engine and hovering monstrosity above it. The machine responded... with silence. Ozzy's comment seemed to have confused the pilot, as well as his fellow passengers behind him.

What did he just call him? Twilight looked to the Chrysalis and Dan to see they both had equally perplexed expressions.

"What did he just say?" Twilight asked Ozzy, trying to keep her voice audible but quiet.

"He called him a plonker! It's wot ya call a right foul git who's daft as nine bob note!" Pinkie explained, grinning.

Twilight quickly turned to Chrysalis and Dan. "What did she just say?" Neither of them had an answer.

The machine's wings flared out. A hook-like protrusion flared out from the bottom and it lunged at Ozzy's train car. The hook scraped the roof, peeling off a section of the ceiling like it was wrapping paper. The occupants were again tossed about as the car shook, helpless to do anything but watch as the giant iron insect tore at their only shelter. After one quick swoop, the machine retreated again.

The ceiling above the doorway had been ripped up but still Ozzy clung to the side of it. "Oi you prick! Why the buck are you assaulting my train?! Why don't you take that bloody butterfly and sod the hay off?!!"

"Ozzy, you're not helping!" Twilight shouted.

"I don't know how long the caboose is gonna last at this rate..." Chrysalis said, examining the walls and gaping hole overhead. The car had taken a lot of abuse, including being thrown off a cliff today.

"And where exactly are we going to go?" Dan asked. "The only other train's behind us and it's being driven by a guy that's trying to kill us!"

"Wait... that's it!" Chrys suddenly exclaimed.

"What's it?" Dan and Twilight asked simultaneously.

"Look! The passenger cars," Chrys pointed a hoof towards the train. "They're still connected to the engine!"

Twilight squinted to look around the locomotive. "They are... but what about them?"

"We can teleport back into the passenger car! He'll destroy this one and we can keep on riding to Canterlot!" the changling elaborated. As she spoke, the 'state-of-the-art defense system' launched another flurry of spears at the train. A pair struck the ground to the sides of the train while flew through the hole in the roof. Twilight tried to throw up a shield to stop it but the spear plunged through her barrier and struck the floor.

"That's a great idea," Dan started, "but how do we stop him from cutting the others off?"

That was the real problem. It was clear to Twilight and the others exactly what length Samule was willing to go to defend his train. But maybe there was a way to use that to their advantage.

"Easy," Twilight said, eyes narrowed. "We cut it off ourselves."

"What?" Dan and Pinkie asked, shocked.

"We can't abandon the other passengers still in the other cars. We have to disconnect the other cars and get those ponies to Canterlot," Twilight stated, resolute.

"How do we do that?"

Twilight closed her eyes. "We teleport." She reached out with her hooves and grabbed both Dan and Chrys. They held her hooves, forming a circle. Pinkie joined in, completing it.

"Ozzy!" Chrys shouted.

"Blooming tosser! Nothin' but mouth and trousers! Fly that thing closer so I can give your bells a good two in the nine's!"

"OZZY!" she shouted again.

"Oh, we doing something else?"

"Kinda," Pinkie said. "Escaping imminent destruction, not getting maimed, and all that."

"Oh, awright," Ozzy moved to join them in a circle.

Twilight's horn glowed again and in a flash, they vanished.

Samule liked to think of himself as good at his job, the best. Committed, nopony could argue that to his duty. What others saw as "excessive" or "insane" he saw as simply means to an end. It didn't matter as long as he kept his train safe. And to be honest, he was enjoying this. He knew there was something odd about those four. Some 'princess' with them... he didn't buy any of it. Now, he had them right where he wanted them and would finally show everypony that on the rails, his authority was law. Nopony bucked with the law.

From the cockpit of his security platform, he eyed his target. The caboose in front of him had taken a lot of damage but mostly to the topside. The wheels remained undamaged. This was good as it meant the car could be salvaged once he removed the meddlers.

Grinning, he pushed forward on the control stick in front of him. The hook-like prong again dug into the roof of the renegade caboose ahead, tearing what was left of the ceiling off. But instead of finding the delinquents cowering in the remains of their car, he saw nothing. He checked the visual sensor on his controls again but they were still nowhere to be seen. Had they jumped off when he hadn't looked?

"Oi! Back here ya bloody tosser!"

Samule's attention was drawn to the rear of the train. He turned his platform around to see the five standing on the roof of the passenger car adjacent to the engine, taunting him.

He smiled; this was too easy. Keying a command on the panel in front of him, he prepared to fire one last spear.

"Okay Twilight," Chrys asked nervously, "we've got his attention. What do we do now?"

"Well," Twilight replied, equal nervousness in her voice, "we wait for him to fire one of those arrow things... and then jump out of the way."

"Jump?" Dan asked. "Why don't we teleport? We can teleport, right?"

"Umm..." Twilight was about to tell him something he wouldn't like. And he knew it.

"Umm? What does 'ummm' mean? Pinkie, did you make another cake while we were busy fighting for our lives?" Dan demanded, asking the pink earth pony as he grabbed the purple alicorn.

"No?" Pinkie replied, confused.

"Then what do you mean, Twilight?!"

"I mean," Twilight averted his gaze, "we can't teleport again."

Dan gritted his teeth and shook his head from side to side in deep frustration. "WHY NOT???!!!" he moaned.

"I can teleport myself multiple times in a row but a group this size... takes a little longer before I can teleport us all again."

Releasing Twilight, Dan dropped to his knees and pounding the roof of the train car. "WHY?! WHY DOES TELEPORTING NEVER WORK WHEN WE NEED IT?!"

"Dan," Chrys poked him, "maybe now's not the best time for you to have a breakdown?"

"Right... right," Dan said, getting to his feet. "So, what are we supposed to do again?"

"DODGE!" Pinkie shouted.

The spear came down right at their feet, hooves and claws, the entire group lunging as the tree-sized arrow pierced the ceiling. It broke through the roof, gouging a hole in it as it stuck to the floor. Another spear stuck right next to it a moment later but the five were in no danger the second time. A third landed on the dirt at the side of the tracks, sticking in the ground as the train continued by.

"Okay, now jump down!" Twilight instructed. Dan, Pinkie, Chrys and Ozzy all leapt through the hole made by the two spikes, landing inside the passenger car.

"Hey... where are all the other passengers?" Chrys asked. They looked around. The other ponies were gone but some of their luggage was still nearby. The thought that they, too had been thrown off the train came to mind.

"We'll worry about them later! We've got another problem!" Pinkie shouted. "The spear-thingies didn't cut through the floor! We need something else!"

"If only we had that tasersaber..." Dan thought aloud.

That give Chrys an idea. "Dan!" she nudged him.

"What? What is it?" he asked.

Leaning in close, she whispered something into his ear.

"Really?" he asked. Chrys nodded.

"What is it?" Pinkie asked. Chrys then whispered her plan to Pinkie. Twilight raised an eyebrow. What were they talking about? Now, of all times?

"You have a way to disconnect the cars?" Ozzy asked. Pinkie then whispered the plan to Ozzy.

"Oh... well, tha's one way, I suppose."

"What are you talking about? Do you know how we can sever the cars?" Twilight asked.

The others grinned and nodded. "As a matter of fact, we do," Dan said. "Just so happens, there's a spell we can use."

"Really?" Twilight asked, a little too eager. "What spell is it? I can caste it; just tell me!"

"It's the simple knockback spell," Chrysalis explained. "It just needs to be used multiple times in a row. And a lot. Sort of... well, you could say..."

"Rapid fire!" Pinkie said, holding her hooves and making a gesture like a machine gun.

"Oh," Twilight said, understanding but not fully realizing. "Oh..." she repeated once she'd realized.

Dan's grin grew a bit wider. "Twilight, there's a LOT I don't know about magic. But this..."

Twilight swallowed. "This is gonna hurt you a lot more than me?" she asked, thinking it was going to finish his sentence.

Dan shook his head. "No, I don't know if this is gonna hurt or not. I was saying, this is going to be really fun," he smiled quite possibly the largest smile Twilight had ever seen him express.

The purple princess swallowed again, lowered her head and pressed her legs together.

Samule was beginning to get annoyed. Were they trying to get him to destroy his own train? Well, he was a bit too smart for that. Instead of attacking again, he lowered the platform's position over the hole the meddlers had jumped down to see what they were up to. What he saw... was even more confusing.

"WAHAHAHAHA!" Dan laughed. Grabbing Twilight by legs and tail, he hoisted her to his chest and cocked her... somehow. Yanking her tail, Twilight's muscles reacted, deploying her wings to form a shield for Dan's face.

Twilight, being held by Dan, turned around for a moment. "How did you know to do that?" she asked, wondering herself.

Dan shrugged. "Pinkie says you come with a manual."

Twirling her tail, Dan used Twilight as a fully-automatic rifle. Spell bolts blasted from her horn, piercing the floor where he aimed her.

"AH HA HA HAHA!" Dan cackled.

Pinkie clapped her hooves. "Me next! Me next!"

Pieces of wood and metal flew up from the floor as magic blasted holes in the car's hull. Dan swept Twilight's fire up the sides of the walls.

"I been workin' on the railroad~ all the live-long day!" Dan began to sing. Smoke began rising from the alicorn's horn as the spells continued to puncture the walls. Twilight's wings protected Dan's face from the bits of debris flung up from the work.

Ozzy tipped down his shades. "Bloody hay..."

Finally, their work was done. Pulling Twilight up, Dan blew the smoke from Twilight's horn, making the distinct noise of air rushing over the barrel of a gun. Dan then placed his leg on the floor where he'd blasted a hole and pushed. The cars separated; the two spikes slowly fell off to the side and the engine began to race away from the passenger car.

"You know," Dan said, letting Twilight down, "I think we may have just... shot our traveling plans to pieces."

The group behind him collectively facehooved.

"One thing, though," Ozzy asked. "What's gonna happen to the rest of mai train?"

Back in the cockpit of the defense platform, Samule found himself with a strange sight. The perpetrators had apparently taken it upon themselves to disconnect the train from the rest of the cars, thereby rendering themselves unable to travel. They'd literally just done his job for him... but why? Turning the platform around, he decided he'd make a note of this for later when he discussed it with his superiors at the Equestrian Rail Administration. They'd probably promote him for this.

He turned his attention back to the train. It was just then he noticed another tunnel coming up. He quickly realized that the platform, while flying wouldn't make the clearance for the tunnel. Acting fast, he reached for the emergency brake in his cockpit with his hoof. He opened the panel however to find... a cake. His eyes went wide.

Dan and the others watched from a safe distance as the train engine rolled down the tracks towards the tunnel.

"There are no brakes... only cakes..." Pinkie whispered to herself. The locomotive raced into the tunnel with the bug-like defense system still attached to it. Its wingspan didn't fit the tunnels entrance; as the system was pulled inside by the train, the wings snapped off like twigs. The small platform's cockpit bounced along the rails, still connected to the engine's roof by the tether with Samule L. Jackson being bounced around the inside like a ragdoll. This entire process lasted about three whole seconds before the train exploded.

The five passengers at the front of the two cars had to brace themselves. The explosion from the tunnel directly ahead of them collapsed the entrance and sent shockwaves through the ground. But they were at a safe enough distance that none of them were hurt when the train exploded and slowly, their own car came to a stop just before the train tunnel.

Ozzy removed his glasses. "Well... I'm gonna miss my train. But if she had to go... Om glad it was a massive esplosion. It's they way she'd have wanted it."

"Yeah..." Dan said, apathetic. "So, how are we going to get to Canterlot now?"

Twilight put a hoof on Dan's shoulder. "I think we're going to have to walk."

Dan smiled. "That sounds pretty good."

"Yeah," Ozzy agreed, stretching. "Don worry about the other passengers; I'll reverse the cars, get 'em back to Ponyville and apologize for the inconvenience. They'll be right as rain by tomorrow."

"Thanks Ozzy," Chrys said. It was nice knowing that at least one of the two strangers they'd met on this trip was a nice guy even if they were both crazy. Together, the biped and three ponies disembarked the train car. As the two passenger cars started to pull away, heading back to Ponyville powered by rockets, Dan and the others waved at their new friend Ozzy Osbarn.

One thing was bothering Twilight though. "Ozzy!" she called.

"Wot is it luv?"

"When we found you," she shouted, "what were you doing at the back of the train?"

Ozzy grinned. "It's like I told ya; I stepped outside for some air... and a slice of Pinkie's cake!"

Pinkie's jaw hit the floor. "WHAAAT?!! YOU SNUCK A PIECE OF MY CAKE?!!" she yelled at him.

Ozzy cupped his beak and yelled back, "YESSSSS!"

Pinkie broke down to her knees. "WHYYYYYYY!!!!!!"

The others didn't say anything to her; just helped her up carefully and together they set out, following the train tracks to Canterlot. It took them about an hour and a half, walking around the mountain but eventually they made their way to the castle city as the sun set.

Dan marveled at the castle; he'd seen the city before but seeing it at a distance, it was like he was looking at it for the first time. "Wow... why don't we come here more often?"

He didn't realize the implications of what he'd just said so Pinkie had to point it out to him. "The train ride's a bit of a hassle."

Dan nodded in agreement. "Good point."

Chrysalis' eyes were wide as she stared at the castle. "It's been a long time since I was here."

Twilight placed a hoof on her shoulder, knowing exactly what she was remembering. "I know. But I hope this time will be a bit more enjoyable," she said, trying to encourage some hopefulness.

But Twilight didn't need to encourage anything. Chrysalis smiled and said, "I believe it will be. Getting here might've been a challenge... but the company definitely makes it worth it."

Twilight smiled back; she couldn't agree more.

Author's Notes:

Part 1 in the Dan Vs. A Canterlot Anniversary sequence- The Road to Reunion

Episode 4 Outtakes

Author's Notes:

Ever wonder about those scenes that didn't go quite according to plan? Well, here's a few of them from Episode 3, fresh from the cutting room floor! Enjoy!

Director's Note: Button Mash is no longer allowed on set unsupervised

Chapter 2: Scene 1; Take 1

Chrysalis: "Why didn't we try to fly? Teleport? Anything?"

Twilight: ...

Director: "Cut it! Twilight, your line?"

Twilight: "I'm sorry but... is my house going to be okay?"

Director: ...

Chapter 2: Scene 1; Take 2

Chrysalis: "Why didn't we try to fly? Teleport? Anything?"

Twilight: "Sometimes, I,-fnggggggh ah ha ha ha!"

Director: "Cut!"

Twilight: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Okay, start it again."

Chapter 2: Scene 1; Take 3

Chrysalis: "Why didn't we try to fly? Teleport? Anything?"

Twilight: "Sometimes, I forget I can do all thos-*entire group trips and falls*"

Director: "Cut it again!"

Chapter 5: Scene 2; take 1

Samule: "And this is a taser."

Dan: "GAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"

Director: "Cut!"

Dan: *pants* "Did we get it?"

Director: "Not quite. I think we need to do it one more time."

Dan: "Okay... can I have some water firs-"

Director: "Cue the playback and, action!"

Chapter 5: Scene 2; take 2

Dan: "GAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"

Director: "Cut!"

Dan: "Did we get it... that time?"

Director: "I think we need to try another angle here..."

Dan: "Oh... okay..."

Chapter 5: Scene 2; take 17

Dan: "GAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"

Director: "Aaaaand cut."

Dan: "Tell me... tell me we got it... that time..."

Director: "Ya know... I think I liked the first take better. We'll just use that."

Dan: "... WHAT?"

Chapter 9: Scene 2; take 4

Ozzy: "You sodding bloody wanker!"

Chapter 9: Scene 2; Take 9

Ozzy: "Crifting foul piece of trouser filth!"

Chapter 9: Scene 2; Take 16

Ozzy: "Blooming fudgy all six's and fortnight to a hallow frisking!"

Chapter 9: Scene 3; Take 2

Slippy: "Enemy shield analyzed!"

Peppy: "Slippy, get back here!"

Director: "CUT! Okay, who invited the ACTUAL members of Star Fox here?"

Button Mash: "Umm... I brought my rumble pack!"

Director: *facehooves*

Chapter 3: Scene 6; take 1

"...cuz I'm the queen of chaaaaaaaaaange!"

Director: "And, we're clear."

Cameracolt: "Uh, Mike?"

Director: "Yeah?"

Cameracolt: *points*

Director: "Oh for the love of cheese, WHAT IS KING SOMBRA DOING IN MY SHOT?!"

King Sombra: *smiles and waves*

Director: "Get him off my set."

Chapter 2: Scene 1; take 37

Chrysalis: "Why didn't we try to fly? Teleport? Anything?"

Twilight: "Sometimes I forget I can-fnah hahahahaha!"

Director: "Twilight!"

Twilight: "I'm sorry! Dan's making faces over there!"

Dan: "No I'm not!"

Director: "Ughh..."

Chapter 9: Scene 2; Take 64

Ozzy: "Bloomin' bloody fuss-widget cross-bungled"

Chapter 9: Scene 2; Take 70

Ozzy: "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Director's Note: Soarin and Morgan Freemane are no longer allowed near the lunch table unsupervised.

Director: "Well, that looks to be about it."

Barro: "Awesome. That means only... twenty-three more episodes to go before the movie."

Director: "Yep. Good job, everypony."

Pinkie: "If anypony needs me, I'll be over here. WITH MY CAKE!"

Director: "That's great,-um, hold on a second, Dan and Sam?"

Samule: "Yeah?"

Dan: "What?"

Director: "I think I need to see Dan taze'd one more time."

Dan: "Hghrrrrrrrrrrrr..."

Episode 5: Dan Vs. Canterlockdown

Meanwhile, in Quahog, Rhode Island...

Peter and Lois Griffin were watching television when a very different program appeared on the screen.

"Hey look," Peter said, "it's Dan Vs. with one of those really long opening credit sequences."

Twilight Sparkle knows a lot about magic; she loves studying and making new friends!

Rarity's a major fashionista, always making dresses and following trends!

Applejack's so strong and honest, she's really hardworking and would never tell a lie!

Rainbow Dash is athletic and loyal and just like her confidence, she soars through the sky!

Pinkie Pie's a real party animal, she loves singing and dancing and baking up cakes!

Fluttershy's kind to all the creatures, she'll make a connection, whatever it takes!

"And then there's Dan."

Princess Celestia's an awesome ruler, even one time she sent her sister to the moon!

"What the hell?"

Octavia is a first-class cellist, you'll never find her playing out of tune!

Princess Luna's been gone for a while but she's gonna make sure Equestria hears her voice!

"And then there's Dan!"

Vinyl Scratch is an incredible DJ and she's never shy about playing your song choice!

And then there's Dan!
*chorus* And then there's Dan!
And then there's Dan!
*and then there's Dan!
The hot as Cajun, super-ragin', can't up stage him Dan, oh Dan!

"Ah, AH! There it is!...Ah! That was an ordeal!"

Our four weary travelers followed the train tracks all the way into Canterlot. When the earthen surface changed to cobblestone and concrete, the group switched from rail to road, entering the city streets.

"We... we finally made it," Dan said, tired.

"I don't think I'll be taking the train again... for a while, at least," Twilight remarked, her own voice heavy with fatigue. They were all exhausted from the trip; the train ride alone had been enough of an ordeal, that plus the walk from the collapsed train tunnel to Canterlot had taken a lot out of them. Having at last reached the city as the sun went down, they were all collectively eager to find some place to crash for the night.

Chrysalis stopped walking. "Wait! Umm..."

The others turned to her. "Chrys, we're all tired. Do you REALLY need to stop us now that we're finally in Canterlot?" Dan asked.

"Well, that's the thing..." Chrys clipped her hooves together nervously. "This is the first time I've been in Canterlot since..."

Twilight's eyes went wide as she began to understand. "Chrys, it's going to be okay. We know you're not evil any more; you're good now. Everypony's forgotten about what happened at the wedding," Twilight consoled her.

Chrys looked up at Twilight. "Everypony?"

To be honest with herself, Twilight wasn't sure. The reformation of Queen Chrysalis hadn't exactly been publicized. While those closest to Twilight knew of the Queen's redemption, greater Equestria was still aware of Chrysalis only as a heinous war criminal who had attempted to conquer Canterlot two years ago. As far as everypony else had been concerned, the changlings and their ruler were vile creatures and villains who had been vanquished by Twilight, her friends, her brother and his wife, Cadence.

"Why would anypony have a problem with Chrys?" Dan asked. Having only arrived in Equestria after the beginning of season 3, Dan was largely unaware of what had transpired in the world before he started living with Twilight. To Dan, Chrys and Fluffle Puff were just houseguests of the purple princess like himself.

Twilight turned to him, looking for the right words. "Dan, it's..."

"It'll take too long to explain," Chrys quickly said.

"If they're going to have a problem with you, why don't you just change into somepony else?" Dan asked, matter-of-factly. "Why is it I always have to remind you and Twilight you can do these things?!"

Chrys practically facehooved. "Dan, that's actually the perfect idea." In fact, it was a little TOO perfect; this was exactly how she'd infiltrated Canterlot the first time. But there was no time to worry about that now. "Who should I change into?"

"Oooh! Turn into me again!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"Hmm..." Twilight thought. Who would be the perfect pony to accompany them? Maybe her brother or Cadence? Was it too early to suggest that?

"Can't you just turn into a pony version of yourself?" Pinkie asked.

That actually stung a bit. "Pinkie, I am a pony."

"I thought you were a-" Pinkie was interrupted by Twilight stuffing a hoof in her mouth. But Pinkie might've actually had the right idea.

"Chrys, is there any way we can make you look... like, not a changling?" Twilight asked, trying to be sensitive.

Pinkie spat out Twilight's hoof. "That's easy! All you need is some paint over your coat, a nice wig, maybe a saddle for the wings and something to cover up your holes!"

Chrys raised an eyebrow. "My... holes?"

The pink mare grabbed the queen's forelegs and held them up for her to see. "These!" Chrysalis looked at the perforations on her hooves. She knew about them, naturally but didn't think much about them.

Chrys pulled her legs away from Pinkie. "Okay, so what can we cover them up with?"

"I know!" Pinkie popped a pair of Oreos in both the holes on Chrys's hooves. "There we go."

Twilight shook her head. "Pinkie, that's not gonna-wait, where did you get those Oreos?"

Dan looked at Twilight. "You're really asking HER that question?"

The purple alicorn looked down in futility. "You're right... bad idea." Rule number 1 when trying to understand Pinkie Pie: don't try.

"This is ridiculous," Chrys stated. "I'll just turn into Cadence again." Green flames erupted around the Queen and instantly she changed into the princess. Scalded Oreos were flung from the flash, disintegrating into ash. The classic Nabisco cookies were designed for milk, not magic.

"Great, that solves that. Can we get going now?" Dan asked, beginning to lose patience.

"Yes, let's go," Twilight nodded, thankful that ordeal was over for now. But it did bring up other questions. How were they going to explain Chrysalis to everypony? Was this a bad time to tell Chrysalis she hadn't exactly informed her brother and Cadence about her living with them? Too many questions; hopefully, she'd be able to meet with Princess Celestia and get some idea of how to proceed. Together, the four walked further into the city.

Being one of the most opulent cities in Equestria, Canterlot was also a very large city by pony standards. While Dan had been in larger cities on Earth, he'd also mostly driven places and hadn't had to walk. After twenty minutes of walking through the busy streets and still not being close to the castle, the group's exhaustion levels were being pushed to the limit.

"Look... Canterlot Castle..." Chrysalis pointed a hoof in front of them. Although it seemed close, the lavish palace was actually still a good distance away. A distance none of them were in the mood to make.

"I... I don't think I'll be able to make it," Twilight said, hooves quivering.

"Me... neither," Dan added. The four looked like they'd been through the ringer. Manes and hair were frazzled and out of place, Dan's shoes were coming apart and Pinkie was collapsed on the pavement. It took a moment for the others to notice her.

"Pinkie, get up," Twilight said, urging her friend with her hoof. Pinkie was sprawled on the street on her back, eyes shut. Twilight's horn glowed to try and move her but only managed to lift her tail, which quickly fell back down again. "I'm too tired to do magic."

"Ho...tel," Chrys's mouth began to form words. "Hotel, let's find a hotel. Some place to stay; we can head to the castle in the morning."

"Good idea," Twilight wearily agreed. Dan nodded his own approval and together, the other three carried Pinkie to the nearest inn with vacancy.

As luck would have it, they didn't have to look far. Finding a place to stay was easy enough but even more surprising was the fact that Twilight's princess-ness actually paid off for once. Checking in for at a hotel near the train station, the staff was overjoyed to serve authentic royalty. The room itself was charged to Canterlot Castle's own private accounts and a pair of clerks carried Pinkie down the hallway to it. Dan would've been impressed if he wasn't so exhausted.

Upon reaching their room, the three conscious members of the group immediately noticed a problem.

"There's only one bed!" Dan exclaimed, his voice hoarse from fatigue.

A purple field of magic gripped the bed but quickly dissipated.

Dan and Chrys both turned to Twilight. "What were you trying to do?"

"Were you trying to cut the, the bed in half?" Chrys was about to fall over from exhaustion.

"YES!" Twilight yelled. "I WAS TRYING TO CUT THE BED IN HALF! I don't need any more problems right now!" she huffed. Dan and Chrys looked a bit frightened at her. "I'm sorry... I'm really tired."

"It's all right," Dan said with a yawn. "Let's all just go to sleep."

"Wait," Chrys stopped them, "help me with Pinkie."

The three propped the sleeping Pinkie into bed and slid under the covers alongside her. In any other circumstance, this situation would make at least two of them uncomfortable. But after all that had happened, they were too tired to raise any objection. Snuggled together with their heads on the same pillows, Twilight had just enough magic to turn off the lights as the they went to sleep.

The rest of the night was quiet, allowing the quartet an evening of uninterrupted rest. They slept peacefully, snoring and dreaming of a relaxing, fun day to come. It probably was the best night's sleep the group had ever gotten outside their library home.

At the same time in Ponyville, Spike and Fluffle Puff were curled up in the overturned tree house, sleeping themselves. The pair had actually made negative progress in fixing the home, though this was understandable considering the tree had fallen over and the only real tools at their disposal were construction paper and glitter glue(being so young, neither Spike nor Fluffle were allowed to use supplies other than from the arts and crafts store).

The next morning was equally peaceful. Warm, cozy and comfortable still in the luxurious hotel bed, Dan had a smile on his face as his eyes opened. The smile quickly turned to a frown as he realized Chrys's limbs were wrapped around him and she was nuzzled into his hair.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"I'M SORRY PRINCESS!" Twilight snapped awake.

"Dan, what's wrong-why are you yelling?!" Chrys asked, jostled awake herself. "IT'S TOO EARLY FOR THIS!"

The young man scrambled out of bed as the two mares were startled.

"You had your hooves wrapped around me! You were practically breathing in my ear!!"

"Oh, uh, I'm sorry, Dan," Chrys blushed. "I sometimes get a little... clingy at night."

"Clingy?! That's what you call almost drooling down my neck?!!"

"Dan, please calm down," Twilight said, wiping the sleep out of her eyes. What would've been worse- waking up with an Ursa Major in the room or Dan shouting?

"I'll calm down when I get my own room! I'm not sharing a bed with either of you... or ANYPONY for the rest of the trip!" Dan declared. He'd clearly been shaken up about this though it was probably just because of the odd sleeping arrangement rather than anything to do with Chrys or Twilight.

"We'll each have our own rooms when we get to the castle," Twilight said groggily. "Princess Celestia will take care of everything, I'm sure."

Chrys smiled, though couldn't help but feel a small amount of discomfort. It just seemed odd that Twilight thought of Canterlot Castle as a safe place, of Tia as somepony that was so capable. This odd feeling was strange for Queen Chrysalis until she realized what it was: concern. She was concerned about her friend, Twilight Sparkle.

This wasn't normal nervousness or anxiousness at something to be fixed; this was a deep concern. Despite that Twilight Sparkle had become a princess herself, she still saw Princess Celestia as a mentor and teacher, a guide that would always be there.

A guide that Queen Chrysalis had beaten. Chrys's eyes went wide as she realized exactly what she was concerned with; Twilight Sparkle put too much faith in Princess Celestia. All of a sudden, it all seemed to make sense. Chrys could tell Twilight's friends new it as well, even Dan from the way he talked to her on the train. The feeling of discomfort settled itself in Chrys' stomach and sat there like a piece of ice. This feeling was something she didn't know how to get rid of but now was entirely sure of why she felt it.

Princess Celestia had ruled Equestria for over a thousand years, almost as long as Chrys had been imprisoned underneath Canterlot. Chrys remembered what Equestria was like back then, simpler times. During her time as ruler, Celestia had freed Equestria from tyranny on multiple occasions, triumphed over many obstacles, prevented many disasters and imprisoned her own sister in the moon. She raised the sun and moon for centuries, preserved harmony in Equestria alone. She had also trained students like Twilight in magic, understanding and harnessing powers for the good of all in this world.

It was hard not to see ponies like Twilight so devoted to Celestia. But her power was not without limits. During the wedding two years ago, Chrysalis had been so empowered by Shining Armor's love for his wife she had been able to defeat the princess in single combat. If not for Cadence and Shining Armor using that same power against her, Canterlot would have fallen to Queen Chrysalis and her changlings.

But Twilight and her friends had saved the day. Chrys was actually thankful for that fact but she couldn't shake the feeling that... Twilight placed a little too much faith in the princess. She wondered how Celestia felt, if she knew how faithful her student was. Was she doing this on purpose? It was almost as if... but Chrys couldn't be sure; she hadn't seen Celestia in two years. She only had the reactions of Twilight's friends to tell her she was right, that they felt the same thing. And Chrys was Twilight's friend too, right? That's why she was concerned. Another realization hit her: she was Twilight Sparkle's friend.

Wow. That felt weird... but nice. Chrys decided she would ask Twilight's other friends, tell them her concerns. But who to ask first? Well, probably telling Twilight she was worried was a good idea and she still had concerns she could always ask-

"Where's Pinkie Pie?" Chrys asked, noticing the pink mare wasn't among them.

Twilight and Dan both looked around, equally surprised. "I don't know. She was in bed with us last night," Twilight said, lifting up the covers.

"Pinkie?" Dan asked aloud. There was no telling what Pinkie Pie was going to do next; she could try to surprise them with a wake-up party or she could be baking them various goods for breakfast. Dan checked under the bed, half-expecting to get blasted by a party cannon. But she wasn't there. Checking the bathroom, the closet, all the dresser drawers, the space behind the t.v and even all 89 channels on the t.v yielded no results. Pinkie was gone.

"Pinkie Pie!" Twilight shouted.

"Chrys, give me a leg up," Dan said, positioning himself in the middle of the room. The changling queen moved to assist him immediately and Twilight knew Dan was clearly checking the ceiling vent next. While Twilight would've thought that a bit excessive in any other circumstance, this was Pinkie Pie. However, she thought she had an idea of where her zany pink friend might be already. Then, she found the note on her nightstand that proved it.

"You guys, wait," Twilight stopped them, reading the note in pink.

Dan, in the middle of tearing off the ceiling grate with a toenail clipper and Chrys lifting him both looked over to Twilight.

"I think she might've left a note."

"What's it say?" Chrys asked, walking over. Unfortunately, she forgot she was still supposed to be holding Dan up.

"Wait! Wai- AAAAHHH!! AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!" Dan now dangled from the unhinged ceiling vent. It detached under his weight and he fell, faceplanting on the floor.

Chrys quickly ran back over to him. "Sorry Dan *yawn*. I just woke up."

"Yeah," Dan remarked, his voice muffled from his face being against the carpeting. "I think that might have been a mistake."

"Wait, what was a mistake? Removing the ceiling grate or waking up?"

"Yes."

Twilight continued looking over the pink note. It read very clearly in all capital letters:

TWILIGHT-

And that was it. Twilight turned it over. Nothing was on the back. She flipped it over again; why did Pinkie write her name and nothing else?

"What does it say, Twilight?" Chrys asked, stepping forward.

"My name... and that's it," Twilight answered, confused.

"That's it?" Dan questioned, picking himself off the floor.

"That's all. This isn't like her. It's like she started writing and then stopped in the middle for some reason."

"Why would she stop in the middle of-" It was in that moment that Dan was asking that question that Pinkie fell from the ceiling grate.

"Pinkie?!" Twilight gasped. "What are you doing?! You're acting even more... you than normal!"

"I'm sorry!" Pinkie apologized. "Thanks for breaking my fall, Dan."

"Don't mention it..." Dan replied, his face muffled once again by the floor. "That was a mistake."

Chrys raised an eyebrow. "Wait... standing under the grate, removing the grate, waking up or-"

Dan, his face muffled for the second time said, "Yes, once again, yes. NOW GET OFF OF ME!" he pushed Pinkie aside. "What the hex where you doing in the air vent?!"

"I'm sorry!" Pinkie recoiled. "I wanted to get to the castle early so I could bake another cake. So I started to write a note but I only got to TWILIGHT before-" she ran towards the window and pulled back the curtains, "I saw this!"

Twilight, Chrys and Dan walked over to see what Pinkie was talking about. All three gasped at what they saw; Canterlot.

"Pinkie..." Twilight asked. "What are we looking for?"

"You don't see it? Look!" Pinkie pointed.

Following her gesture, the three narrowed their gazes to see what she was talking about.

"I still don't see what you're- oh, wait," Chrys said. She noticed a long procession of ponies leading up the street, a line that must've stretched at least a block from what she could see.

"So? They're standing in line," Dan remarked. "New restaurant, movie or something? Is the circus in town?"

"No," Pinkie answered. "That's the line to get in Canterlot Castle!"

"What?"

"That's the line to the castle?" Twilight asked, shocked. She'd lived in Canterlot for the majority of her life and she'd never seen a line to get into the castle. She remembered reading about long lines during the food shortages, when ponies had to ration supplies during the famine. But having a supply shortage overnight didn't seem possible. Whatever this was, it didn't seem right.

Pinkie nodded in affirmation. "And it's only gotten longer since this morning. The moment I saw it, I panicked! I can't get into Canterlot, won't be able to make another cake, nopony will ever want my business again and I'll wind up in Game & Watch Gallery in one of those-"

Chrysalis giggled. "Pinkie, I really don't think-"

The pink mare grabbed Chrys' face. "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I sunk two-hundred and fifty-thousand bits into that cake!"

"Wait, you did what Pinkie?" Twilight asked.

"I took out a loan from the First National Cloudbank of Cloudsdale to bake that cake! With the money I made from it getting eaten at the party, I would've almost doubled my initial investment!"

Chrys scratched her chin. "Wait, how did you get up to Cloudsdale?"

"Dashie took me."

"Ah."

"I put my house up as collateral for the loan! If I don't make any money at the party... I'll have to move back in with my parents!" Pinkie broke down.

Dan folded his arms. "Sounds like you made a big... miscake."

Chrys turned to him. "Dan, this is no time for puns."

"Pinkie," Twilight knelt down to Pinkie, "this is the reason why you were so protective of that cake, isn't it?"

She nodded, her head hung low. "I knew I wouldn't be able to make another cake in time for the party so... I tried to hide in the air conditioning vent."

Twilight lifted up her friend's chin and smiled. "Pinkie, you know if you needed help, all you'd have to do is ask us."

Sniffling slightly, she looked up at Twilight. "You really think we'll be able to get in and bake another cake in time?"

"Absolutely," Chrys stated. "Even if we have to use the caves underneath Canterlot to get there."

"We shouldn't have to," Twilight said, returning her attention to the window. "Why is there such a long line, anyway?"

"This doesn't make any sense," Dan assessed. "Is the only working bathroom in this town inside the castle or is your brother's wedding just that popular?"

"I don't understand," Twilight admitted. "There wasn't any line at the wedding, there shouldn't be one now. Why is everypony standing in line to get into the castle?"

"Well, we're not going to find out up here," Chrysalis said. "And the line's certainly not going to get any shorter..."

"Not if it's like any amusement park I've ever been to. Let's get down there and see why everypony's wasting their time," Dan said, walking to the door. The others followed him out, none of them bothering to replace the ceiling grate. Outside, the end of the line had just reached the end of the hotel as more ponies wandered from the streets to join it.

Dan looked down the street, trying to gage how truly long the queue was. "From here, I can't even see the end."

Twilight approached a white, brown-maned stallion in line. "Excuse me, but what is this line for?"

"There's a big reunion party that's going to be happening at the castle. Royal guests from all over are attending and everypony in town's been invited," he answered.

A shades-wearing brown stallion behind him tapped him on the shoulder. "I thought this was the line for the raffle."

The white pony turned around. "Michael, there's not going to be a raffle. I told you already!"

"Then why did that guy sell me all these raffle tickets?"

The two colts continued arguing as the line moved forward a couple inches.

"Reunion party?" Twilight asked herself. "There wasn't anything about a reunion party in the note."

"I'm confused," Pinkie said. "I thought we were here for your brother's anniversary, not a reunion. Wait," she stopped, realizing. "WE WEREN'T INVITED TO THE REUNION PARTY! HURRY, WE HAVE TO GET IN LINE!"

Pinkie immediately shoved her friends out of the way and took position at the end of the procession. She immediately adopted a pace of nervous waiting while the line lurched another painfully slow and short length forward.

"What do you think we should do, Twilight?" Chrys asked.

Once again, Twilight didn't know what she should do. She only knew what she was going to do. Her brow furrowed. "Whatever's going on in the castle, we're going to it."

"I know," Chrys said, "but what are we going to do about the line?" She actually did have a good point. It was massive, long and rivaled that of both the lines of the "Occupy Barn St." protest and the release of the PiePhone 6.

"Hmph. Not like it's our problem," Dan said, folding his arms.

Three puzzled mares turned their heads to him. "Um, what makes you say that, Dan?" Pinkie asked.

Dan smiled at them confidently. "In case you guys forgot AGAIN, we HAPPEN to be the special friends of a princess, remember?"

"Oh, right!" Chrys exclaimed, happy. While Twilight didn't act like it often, or at all really, she was still a princess.

"So let's head to the front of the line and find out what's going on!" Dan said, marching in the direction of the castle's front gates.

Chrys reached out a hoof to stop Dan. "Wait, Dan we should probably let-" But it was too late; Dan was already heading down the street. "... Twilight go first." She let her hoof fall to the ground.

"It's hard to stop him when he's got his mind made up," Twilight commented.

"Yeah... he acts like a princess more than you do, Twilight," Chrys said, walking off to follow Dan.

"I know... hey, wait, what's that supposed to mean?" Twilight asked. But it was too late for her as well; Chrys was already down the road, catching up to Dan and leaving Twilight with a puzzled look on her face.

Pinkie put a foreleg around Twilight's shoulder. "Boy, there's no predicting those two, huh?"

Compared to Ponyville, Canterlot seemed almost modern to Dan. Admittedly this was the second city on Equestria Dan had ever seen but even then, he could tell this place was very different from Ponyville. The architecture of the town, from the cobblestone roads to the curvature of the structures and banners all conveyed regality, luxury and a sense of pride that Dan hadn't ever seen before, not even on Earth. To him, Canterlot felt like it was half country club, half museum all around an outdoor museum.

To be honest, Dan liked Canterlot. He liked all of Equestria he'd seen so far; the whole world seemed so pure, free of the irritations Earth was full of. At the same time though, Equestria seemed to have its own annoyances Dan and the others were forced to deal with.

Comparatively, ponies seemed to be at harmony with their world, sharing a union with nature that complemented and supported their society and the environment, a peaceful balance. However, this relationship also lead to the ponies act differently when that balance was upset: during times of crisis, they tended to panic or behave irrationally, losing control when difficult circumstances arose. Humans seemed to be better at dealing with larger problems, uniting only when necessary. So the main difference was that ponies dealt with the day-to-day operations better while humans were better at handling big issues. Big issues like absurdly long lines.

"Please have all baggage open and ready for inspection," a royal guard stallion spoke over the crowd as Dan approached. The single line of ponies led under a large, green tent at the end of the road with tables set up underneath. Carts, bags, crates and all forms of luggage were being inspected by royal guards. Each article was examined carefully at different table stations before ponies were allowed to exit the tent and continue to the castle beyond.

Dan rolled his eyes and sighed heavily at the display; it reminded him of the security setup of airports back on Earth. He understood the need for such measures(he didn't agree but he sympathized) on Earth but that was just the problem; this wasn't Earth. Ponies had magic, some of them could FLY. Why were they all funneled into ONE LINE? Why couldn't there be a special queue for pegasi ABOVE the street or unicorns who could TELEPORT? Instead, all ponies, even ones without any baggage, were pointlessly forced into one procession making it so long it literally stretched down the street. Needlessly inefficient bureaucracy seemed to be a common part of both Earth and Equestria.

Even more annoyed than was when he woke up this morning, he walked to the side of the tent to a group of royal guards monitoring the procession.

"Excuse me? Hey!" Dan wasn't used to waiting to get someone's or somepony's attention. "What is all this for?" he asked, his voice frustrated as he gestured to the line behind him.

One of the royal guards turned around and approached him. "I'm sorry sir, the castle's currently under lockdown status. If you're going to be attending the celebration, you're going to have to wait in line."

"Hold on," Dan stopped him, "Why is the castle under lockdown status?"

"Oh, well," the blue-maned stallion paused for a moment as if considering if he should tell Dan, "there was an incident on the railroad yesterday, something about a train exploding and blocking the tracks. We've had to step up security until we learn more about the situation, find out whoever's responsible."

Dan's eyes went wide. Obviously, the guard was referring to the train he and the others had been on yesterday but from the way he acted, he didn't seem fully aware of what had transpired or who was involved. Dan decided it was probably for the best if he didn't find out from him.

"Uhm... yeah, that's probably a good idea," Dan rubbed the back of his neck, nonchalantly changing the subject. "So, how long do you think the wait to get in is?"

"Around two hours."

"TWO HOURS?!" Dan's jaw practically dropped as he shouted. Not a chance he was spending two hours outside standing in line to get into the Equestrian-equivalent to the White House, which as far as he was concerned, might as well have been a three-ring circus. Or Carnegie Hall.

"That's a rough estimate," the guard admitted a tad nervously.

"Well, uh, wait," Dan thought quickly. There had to be an exception for guests of royalty. "I just so happen to be attending the festivities with a princess!"

The guard chuckled. "Really? You, too?"

"Uh," Dan felt a lump hit his throat. Of course; this was Canterlot. He should've known it would be packed with royals. There went using Twilight's status to get them anything, once again. Thanks O Celestia.

"I'm sorry but w really can't make exceptions for royalty, especially after Prince Blueblood made a scene... so, if there's nothing else-"

"Hey Dan!" a pony called from up the street, trotting towards them. Dan immediately recognized it as Chrys in her Cadence disguise.

"Hey Chrys," Dan said, his voice sounding defeated. They were running out of options but maybe Chrys could turn into somepony that could help them slip past the guards. Maybe even-

"Cadence?" the royal guard asked, stepping in front of Dan as she approached. "I thought you were in the castle."

Chrys almost stopped dead in her tracks. "I... uh... um..."

The guard approached her. "Is everything okay? I don't know how much longer I'm going to be what with us so short staffed."

Dan could tell something was wrong but he couldn't tell what. Chrys' Cadence disguise was blushing horribly, even sweating as the uniformed stallion got closer.

"Did you come out here just to see me?" the guard asked in a coy tone.

"Um... you don't-" Chrys stammered.

"I won't be too much longer. I promise," he leaned in close to kiss her.

Dan's jaw practically hit the pavement. This guard, whoever he was just kissed Chrys right on the lips. He practically watched the embrace in slow motion and for a reason he couldn't explain, his fists involuntarily balled themselves.

"SHININNG!" a voice from up the street shouted.

"Twily!" the guard broke the kiss, much to Chrys' thanks.

Twilight's own face looked panicked, concerned as she ran up to Dan and the two ponies.

"Shining, I can explain-"

"Twily, it's so good to see you!" the guard hugged Twilight. "What happened, Twi? We were expecting you yesterday."

Twilight, looking no less nervous, rubbed the back of her neck. "It's.. it's a long story."

The guard chuckled again. "I'll bet. You can tell us all about it in the castle, right Cadence?"

"R-right," Chrys said, swallowing hard.

"Does this mean we won't have to stand in line?" Dan asked, hopeful.

The guard turned to face him. "Wait, who are you? Are you with-"

"I'm Dan," he quickly interjected, "and I'm here with my close, personal friends, Princess Twilight Sparkle, Chrys and Pinkie Pie."

"Ah," the guard said, seeming to understand. "Well, any friend of my lil sis is a friend of mine."

Dan smiled. "Well, I'm happy to-wait," he paused. "You're 'lil sis'?"

Twilight stepped forward. "Dan, this is... um, my brother, Shining Armor."

"It's nice to meet you," Shining said, sticking out his hoof for shaking.

Eyebrow raised, Dan grabbed the appendage and shook. "Likewise..."

"And this is my wife, Princess Cadence," Shining said, snuggling into Chrys. The queen's eyes jolted as discomfort returned to her.

"Wait, no, that's not your wife," Dan said. He thought it best to clear up the issue now.

"Dan..." Twilight stepped forward, trying to stop him but it was too late.

"That's my wi- I mean," Dan tripped over his own words, "that's our friend, Chrys. Err, Queen Chrysalis or something."

Shining laughed at Dan's revelation. "What? That's not-wait... wha-" his smile quickly faded, something approaching shock dawning on his face. Slowly, Shining turned towards Chrys. "I..."

Deciding it was enough, Chrys dropped the disguise. In a bright flash, green flames engulfed her and she transformed back to her changling form.

"Um... hi Shining... err, Prince Shining Armor," Chrys said, grinning nervously and shaking.

The shock had not left Shining's face. He took a couple steps back in horror. The crowd behind them let out a collective gasp and also backed a bit away.

"What are they all staring at?" Dan asked, not understanding.

Twilight moved to her brother's side, putting a hoof around his shoulders. "Shining, I can explain. Queen Chrysalis-"

And that was when Prince Shining Armor passed out.

"-is reformed," Twilight finished. Her brother's body fell on its side in the street, hitting the ground with a plop.

"Was it something I said?" Dan asked.

"Not... exactly," Chrys answered. She and Twilight knelt down to tend to Shining, checking on him.

"Ch-ch-ch-changling!" a pony resembling David Bowie shouted and pointed. Three other ponies with him screamed, "Run away no jutsu!" as they fled down the street. The crowd soon followed, panicking and galloping away from the scene.

Royal guards ran to the fallen Shining Armor. "Your majesty!"

"He's out cold," Twilight explained as they knelt down.

Dan smiled, noticing the line was gone. The path to the castle was clear; he could see into the castle. "Hey! The line's gone, we can head on into the castle. Whatever we did, we should've done that-"

"The three of you are under arrest!!"

In a payphone booth across the street...

"Hey, we have another problem."

"What is it now? Did they get there yet?"

"Yeah, they're in the city but they've been arrested."

"What?! How?!"

"The queen was exposed right in front of Shining Armor and he fainted. The guards are taking them to the station right now."

"Hmm... this isn't good."

"I know. It looks like they're going to be stuck there for a while."

"We can't allow that. We have to get him into the castle."

"What do you want me to do? I could probably bust them out if I tried."

"No, it's too risky. We can't let them know we're watching them, not yet."

"What should I do?"

".."

"Boss?"

"I think I can take care of it."

"What? What if they recognize you?"

"I'll make sure they don't see me."

"How are you going to pull that off?"

"You know who this is you're talking to, right?"

"... right, so what do you want me to do?"

"I need you to distract the guards, do something to get them out of the station. Once our friends get out, they're going to need a way over the wall so make sure they have something helpful nearby."

"Right, I'll take care of it."

"Call me when you're done. Once we get them into the castle, I think it might be a good time to get a closer look at our developments."

"What are you planning on doing?"

"You'll see. When the time comes, they should make the connection on their own. We might have to give them a little more... encouragement but we should have an indication of how much more we need to do in a couple days."

Inside the guardhouse...

"Please, you don't understand," Twilight pleaded. The royal guards didn't respond; they continued practically pushing, shoving and carrying Twilight, Dan and Chrys through the hall of the first floor of the guardhouse.

"Aren't you going to at least tell us 'we have the right to remain silent'?" Dan asked.

"You assaulted a prince of the royal court of Equestria, you're in association with a changling-"

"Um, Queen*" Chrys corrected as she was hauled.

"Wait, that was my brother!" Twilight tried to explain. "We didn't assault him! I swear!"

One of the guards shot an angry glance at the purple captive. "Prince Shining Armor would never faint in front of an enemy of Equestria! The former captain of the guard, ruler of the Crystal Empire, no threat in the city could make him simply... pass out! This is clearly the result of some sort of dark magic!"

"Dark magic?!" Dan shouted, exasperated as his hands were clasped behind his back by spell bindings, "I WAS THERE! HE FAINTED LIKE A PRE-MED STUDENT SEEING BLOOD FOR THE FIRST TIME! FOR ALL YOU KNOW, HE COULD'VE BEEN OUT IN THE SUN FOR TOO LONG!"

Unlike the hotel they'd stayed in last night, the guardhouse's interior was completely absent of lavish furnishings of any kind. The drab, gray walls exuded none of the opulence of the architecture on the outside. Dan understood right away; this is what passed for jail in Canterlot, or at least a holding area where suspected criminals waited transfer to a major correctional facility. A police station complete with its own cells and he and the others were its newest inmates. This was not the first time Dan had paid a visit to such a facility.

"But wait!" Twilight begged one last time as they pushed her and the others into the cell, "I'm a... I'm a princess!"

"Yeah, yeah, tell it to the judge, changlings," the guard said, locking the cell door behind them.

Twilight ran up and gripped the bars. "But we're not changlings!"

"Except me!" Chrys quickly added. "But I'm a good changling now!" The guards didn't even look back as they turned and walked away.

Dan jumped on the cell door. "This is a mockery of justice!! I KNOW MY RIGHTS! THIS ISN'T DUE PROCESS!! THIS ISN'T ANY PROCESS!! I'LL SEE BOTH OF YOU POMPOUS PEONS LOCKED IN HERE FOR THIS!!!"

"Dan," Twilight gripped him with her own magic, "it's no use; they're already gone."

"We can't let them get away with this!" Dan shouted, face still red with rage. "We have to do something!!"

Chrysalis looked around. "Well, at least the accommodations are better than last time," she remarked, a hint of sadness in her voice.

"You!" Dan accused her, "What did you do to him? He kissed you and then fainted. Is there some kind of law that ponies can't kiss in public? And for that matter, WHY DID HE KISS YOU?!!"

"That's actually..." Twilight began and then stopped. Was this the right time? She looked over to Chrys who's gaze was fixed on the floor in a mixture of sadness and regret. A kind of hollow frustration where one futilely accepts their unfortunate circumstances and simply waits for the sorrow to pass, hoping it will soon. Twilight knew that feeling well. "Chrysal- Chrys?" she asked. "Is it okay if I tell Dan about... the wedding?"

"What wedding?" Dan asked, puzzled. Both mares were quiet. "What happened?"

"It's okay, Twilight," Chrys said. "I'll tell him."

"Tell me what?"

"Okay then," Twilight replied.

The changling queen stood, almost a third taller than both Dan and Twilight. "My kind aren't... embraced by pony society. While Twilight has opened her home to me, not everypony wants me around..."

Dan held up his hand in a halt gesture. "Wait, Ponyville's perfectly fine with you. Nopony there comes to our house and complains and I haven't seen anypony have a problem with you around the neighborhood. Did I miss the 'No cats, dogs or changlings' sign somewhere?"

Chrys looked to Twilight. "I think we should start from the beginning."

Twilight nodded. *Flashback*

For centuries, my kind, my horde languished in the caves underneath Canterlot, under the very ground we stand upon now. I waited, waited ages until the time was right, until everything was set and we were ready. That day... was going to be perfect. I never considered what would happen the day after.

By taking Princess Mi Amore Cadenza's place, I defeated Princess Celestia, imprisoned Twilight Sparkle and nearly conquered Canterlot. Equestria was almost mine. I couldn't possibly be defeated. But...

I was beaten. The very magic I used to empower myself and my army, Cadence and Shining Armor used in a different way. By combining their love, they unlocked a magic far greater than anything any darkness could stand against. I and my entire horde were expelled from Canterlot, flung across Equestria in a single blast. My plans for the future, for my kind, were over in an instant.

We landed in the badlands. After all that time, hundreds of years, I had failed. My changlings were weakened. Without food for so long, they entered into a state of hibernation like before. Scattered across the wastes, they cocooned themselves until the time came their strength could recover on its own. I remained awake to watch over them as I had before. But unlike the caves underneath Canterlot, the badlands were far harsher than I could contend with. Severely weakened myself, I did the only thing I could do.

I abandoned them. It had been my responsibility to take care of them for generations, for as long as I lived. But I had lived through so much, seen a future I never thought my kind would ever see. And I didn't see changlings in that future, not as we were. So I left them where they lay and traveled to the only place I knew to go to:

I tried to make it back to Canterlot. In my injured state, I only made it to the Everfree Forest. And that's when...

"You met Fluffle Puff," Twilight said, smiling.

I became lost in the Everfree. Unable to go any further, I passed out in a clearing. That's when she found me. Fluffle Puff... a creature capable of only loving found me. At first, I sought to feed off of her but something was... different. Fluffle Puff's love was different than any I had encountered before. It wasn't intensified by any one thing nor diminished. It was simply there, an inexhaustible amount of love, of feeling that transcended any form or shape to become an energy so pure it lacked definition and yet defined everything around it. Compassion so strong it went beyond anything before, turning into an unstoppable force that flowed through all it touched filling everything with spirit, with emotion, with life.

Unconditional love. Everything I knew about love, about magic was changed by one creature who was just happy to see me. I couldn't understand it; I stopped feeding on love and started feeling it. Fluffle Puff nursed me back to health and I slowly recovered. I no longer needed to feed on others' love, something I never thought possible. I tried to take her back with me to the badlands so that my horde could gain the same benefit but when I arrived there...

They were gone.

"One day, I found Fluffle Puff in the Everfree Forest and she showed me to Chrys," Twilight remembered. "I didn't trust her at first but... something about her seemed different than before. Somehow, I knew she'd changed. I invited her and Fluffle to come stay with me and she's been living with me ever since."

"So," Dan said, standing up, "you found one of the greatest enemies you've ever faced weakened and helpless in the woods... and you invited her and her friend to live with you. Wow..." He walked over, smiling and placed rubbed his hand through Twilight's mane. "That's showing genuine initiative. I'm proud of you, Twilight."

A little surprised to hear that, Twilight almost felt herself blush. "Uh, thanks Dan," she said, a nervous glee in her voice.

"I'm sure you told all your friends about a former villain moving in, right?" Dan asked, still smiling.

"Of course!" Twilight happily replied.

"And the princess?"

"Absolutely! I sent her a letter and she got back to me the next day. She also commended me for showing initiative."

"Great, great," Dan said, smile widening. He bent down to Twilight's level and put both hands on her shoulders. She felt even more nervous, wondering what was going to happen next as he looked into her eyes and said, "I have just one more question, Twilight."

"What's that, Dan?"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL YOUR BROTHER?!?!?!?!?!"

The shout echoed down the halls, making the building shake in a cartoony fashion.

In an instant, Princess Twilight Sparkle became Fluttershy. "Well I, um- I don't-"

"This could ALL have been avoided if you told your brother BEFORE we got here! You told your friends, you told the princess but you DIDN'T tell EITHER of the ponies that beat her in the first place who you were bringing to their anniversary?!"

Chrys placed a hoof on Dan's shoulder from the back as he held Twilight. "Dan, I don't think we really had time to-"

"You didn't think it might've been strange seeing a former would-be conqueror's name on the guest list?!"

Chrys shook Dan. "I think you might be going just a little bit-"

Dan looked at her over his shoulder. "I'll get to you in a minute."

"Okay..." Chrys removed her hoof.

"I understand if he never writes to you unless it's something important and you might not write back but NOT if it's something as important as, oh I don't know, A VILLAIN MOVING IN WITH YOU! WHY DIDIN'T YOU TELL HIM?!!"

Twilight's lip trembled. She knew why hadn't told Shining and Cadence but hadn't realized the consequences of not telling them until now. It was like a conversation you knew you'd have to have at some point and you were biding your time, preparing. Unfortunately, that time can come before your ready and for Twilight, it had.

"Did you even tell anypony other than your friends about me?!" Dan asked.

Looking up at him apologetically, Twilight said, "No..."

"When were you going to tell your own FAMILY about who you were LIVING WITH? Did it even occur to you that this MIGHT cause a little problem?!!"

"I... I was waiting for the right time," Twilight admitted. "I didn't know about the anniversary and by the time I invited Chrys, I'd kind of forgotten about it."

"You'd KIND OF forgotten about it?!" Dan reiterated.

Twilight nodded. "Well, yeah. I'd just gotten so used to having you, Chrys and Fluffle Puff around, it didn't seem like a big deal. Everypony in Ponyville was fine with it, so was the princess and the three of you just really became my friends so fast... I thought it would be okay."

Chrys's practically felt her heart explode. She clutched a hoof to her chest. "Twilight, do you really mean that?" The purple princess smiled and nodded back at her. "Oh, Twilight!" she embraced both Dan and Twilight, hugging them both together with the young man in between them.

"I really like having you live with me, Chrys. You're one of my best friends," Twilight said, hugging back.

Chrys closed her eyes and hugged tighter. "You're one of my best friends, too! I love you both so much!"

"I'M NOT FINISHED!!" Dan shouted, clutched in the embrace of two mares, "I'M STILL MAD AT BOTH OF YOU! YOU BARELY TOLD ANYPONY ABOUT EITHER OF US!"

"Aww, it's all right, Dan," Chrys said, nuzzling him with her cheek. "From now on, we'll tell everypony together!"

"That's right, Dan," Twilight said, nuzzling him as well. "Starting with my brother and Princess Cadence! We'll tell all of Equestria that you're both my friends!"

They hugged him together as his face burned red. "I HATE YOU BOTH!!!"

Chrys and Twilight smiled. "We love you too, Dan."

The hug lasted well over a minute. "Can we let go now?" Dan finally asked, disgruntled.

The two mares released him and each other. "Aww, what's the matter, Dan?" Chrys asked. "Don't you like hugs?"

"I'm fine with hugs," Dan replied, still sounding gruff. "I'm not fine with the fact that the three of us haven't showered since the library got wrecked."

"Oh," Twilight said. Both she and Chrys' eyes widened in realization. Suddenly, they both remembered that Dan was correct; the last time any of them had used soap was before the house was destroyed. That explained Dan's discomfort at embracing the two. The changeling queen gave her under leg a cautious whiff. Discomfort indeed.

"The two of you seem to forget little details quite frequently, especially when major incident happens, which might as well be every other day!"

"Well, that's why we have you, Dan!" Chrys put a hoof on his back. "You're our reminder!"

"Right," Dan smiled. "You know what I'd like to remind you both of now? THE FACT WE'RE STUCK IN A JAIL CELL!!"

"Yeah, that's a good idea," Chrys agreed, removing her hoof. "Is there any way we can get the door open?"

"No," Twilight said, checking the cell door. It didn't budge an inch when she pulled it with her hooves. "And I don't see any other ways out."

"Of course you don't see another way out," Dan said. "That's the whole point of jail. But you know what we can do?"

"What?" Twilight asked.

Dan smiled. "What do you think I'm going to remind you of now?"

"I can teleport?"

"Yes you can!" he happily rubbed her mane. She WAS learning to think outside the box. That made him genuinely happy. "Good girl! Who's a good little magic pony?"

"I am!"

"That's right! You're finally learning to see the full extent of your abilities!" Dan said encouragingly. "Now, let's teleport out of here, get to the castle and find your brother before we waste the whole weekend!"

"Right," Twilight agreed. Closing her eyes, she concentrated on the teleportation spell. In a flash, the three disappeared and reappeared... still inside the prison cell. The trio's heads clunked against the cell door with a metallic clang.

"OW!"

"Augh!" they landed back on the floor.

"What... just happened?" Dan asked.

"I don't know," Twilight rubbed her head. "They must have some sort-"

"No," Dan stopped her. "No no no no no no no no NO!" he got up. "DO NOT tell me that there's some kind of-"

"Some kind of-"

"NO!" Dan interrupted Twilight.

It was quiet for a couple long seconds.

"Some kind of anti-teleporty-thingy on the cell doors," Chrys finally finished.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Dan shouted in frustrated rage.

"Well, that would make sense," Twilight remarked. "Being a jail for ponies, they would have to guard against all manner of magic. It's likely they've equipped it to handle all manner of other creatures, too."

"NOOO!!" Dan pounded a fist on the stone wall. "We have MAGIC! TWO different KINDS of MAGIC! And we STILL CAN'T GET THROUGH A DOOR?!!"

Twilight shrugged. "Magic has its limits, Dan." Chrys nodded in agreement.

"It's not fair..." Dan sounded sad now. "Magic doesn't even exist on Earth. You can do the impossible here but never when you need to... IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!"

"What are we going to do now?" Chrys asked. "It doesn't look like they're going to let us out any time soon."

"They're not going to let us out at all!" Dan turned around. "If the justice system here is anything like the one on Earth, we're going to spend weeks fighting this in court, get accused of being SUSPECTED CHANGELINGS and by the time they find out we're innocent and you're reformed, THE VACATAION WILL BE OVER!! TWILIGHT, YOU HAVE TO GET US OUT OF HERE!!"

Twilight looked nervous. "I don't really have any jailbreak spells or-"

"Lockpicking? What about a spell that picks locks?"

"No..."

"AARRRRRRRGH!" Dan shouted again.

Chrys ran over to the door. Standing on her hind legs, she spread her fore hooves out wide and said, "Open sesame!"

The trio watched the door, waiting for a response. None came; it didn't even budge.

The changeling queen shrugged. "Was worth a try."

"This... this isn't possible!" Dan yelled. "You're supposed to be an alicorn princess! You're one of the Elements of Harmony that defends Equestria's very existance! You've got to know some kind of magic that can get us out of here!"

"Magic isn't that easy, Dan," Twilight said defensively. "I'm still getting used to being an alicorn and a princess."

"But you were good with magic before! You were like one of the highest-level unicorns in town! You beat Trixie at magic... twice!"

"I wasn't stuck in jail after my brother fainted in front of my friends that time."

"You have an entire library full of books on magic!" Dan said, reminding her.

"A library that was nearly destroyed because you got mad at Vinyl Scratch..."

"Oh, so you're going to bring that up now? Well, what about that time you built an answering machine and-"

The two continued to argue as the topic got further away from the present and into the past. Chrys didn't even sigh; she just ignored it. She approached the cell door, taking a closer look at it. A metal bar door, it slid open and had an access panel built in the center of it in the approximation of where a doorknob would be on a normal door. Sliding this hatch did nothing so Chrys decided to examine it closer.

Equestria seemed to have a lopsided way of dealing with criminals, Chrys thought. For her crimes, Chrys and her entire hoard of changelings had been imprisoned underneath the city. She'd heard from Twilight that Celestia herself banished her own sister into the moon. And before that, Chrys remembered Twilight saying a character named Discord, who apparently ruled Equestria in a state of chaos was turned to stone by the two sisters. So part of her counted herself lucky she was just stuck in this dingy cell.

Though at the same time, she remembered when Trixie took over Ponyville and enslaved all the town's residents. Twilight eventually beat Trixie and saved Ponyville but they didn't do anything to punish the blue showmare. Trixie probably would've gone on to conquer Equestria if she hadn't been stopped and when she was, she wasn't given so much as a stern talking to? There must not have been a lot of ponies with cutie marks that symbolized justice. And if there were, they must've been out of town that day.

Chrys didn't see any way of getting through the door. She examined the keyhole and the tumblers inside. If only her skill in lockpicks had been higher and she had some bobby pins. But of course, she put her skill points in melee and energy weapons because sledgehammers are common and lasers are cool.

She looked at the hatch from an angle and noticed something about the outside of it. A lever was attached clasping over it from the bar on the other side, like a latch. Using her own levitation magic, she lifted it.

"Huh," Chrys remarked to herself. She put a hoof on the hatch and slid the door open. "Hey guys?"

"-and they changed her voice actress and didn't even use her name in the remake when it was a CLEAR reference to the fans that-"

"GUYS!" Chrys shouted.

"WHAT?!" They both turned to her.

Chyrs smiled proudly, holding the door to the cell open. "You wanna take this party outside?"

One pony jaw and one human jaw hit the floor. "How... how did you get it open?" Dan asked.

"Easy," the queen beamed. "There's a latch on the outside."

Twilight and Dan facehoof/palmed.

"We've been stuck in here... for two chapters... and THE DOOR WASN'T EVEN LOCKED?!" Dan screeched.

"But... it's gonna be okay now, Dan," Twilight assured him. "We can leave now and head to the castle."

"That's a great idea!" Dan declared. "And when we get there, I'm going to have a little chat with ANOTHER princess on how she happens to be running her legal system!" He stomped out of the jail cell.

Twilight rushed to stop him. "Wait! Dan!"

"I'm gonna give the leadership of this entire country a piece of my mind!"

"You might wanna be careful how you do that; I tried that once and it didn't really work out for me," Chrys commented.

"This injustice won't last another day! First your brother and then the princess!" Dan yelled, breaking into a run.

"Oh no, oh please no," Twilight said, wishing this wasn't happening. She and Chrys ran out of the cell to follow Dan down the corridor.

"RRRRRRAAAAAAAAGGGH!!!!" Dan's fury echoed down the hallway as the two mares struggled to keep up behind him. Wrongfully accused, wrongfully imprisoned, he was rightfully fed-up with the way he'd been treated by Equestrian authority and was now going to do his best to make it right. Even if it was the wrong way.

The two ponies chased the young man as he ran through the halls. They passed other prison cells on their right, barred windows on their left but encountered no other guards or prisoners. Twilight looked over her shoulder and all around quickly, trying to see any potential threat before it was upon them but there was nothing. If they could just make it outside and get to Shining...

Dan rounded a corner without missing a beat, his shoes screeching on the stone floor.

"Ohf!" he crashed into something rounding the corner from the other direction.

"Augh!" the other individual yelled. Both bounced off each other and crashed on the floor. A metallic object of some kind hit the floor, dropped by whoever it was Dan just collided with.

Chrys and Twilight ran over to Dan. Both he and the strange he'd just bumped into were getting off the floor.

"Hey! Why don't you watch where you're going, jerk!" Dan yelled at the other individual.

"We both ran into each other, dumbass so maybe you should-" the other stopped midsentence. "Twilight?"

Twilight and Chrys looked at the other character. It was another pony wearing some sort of cloak, a dark-blue stallion covered by a hood.

"I'm sorry have we... met?" Twilight asked the stranger.

He looked back at her, narrowing his eyes. "I... need to get going. I don't want any trouble."

"Neither do we," Chrys said.

"Yes," Dan agreed, "We happen to have bigger problems than running into somepony in prison. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get my hands on a world leader. Figuratively, metaphorically and literally," he said, walking off.

Twilight reached down to pick up the stranger's item, some sort of sword. "We're sorry we bumped into you-" When her hoof touched the blade's hilt, it vanished. Twilight's eyes went wide as she looked around for it only to see it had materialized back in the cloaked pony's mouth.

"It's all right," he said, biting down on the hilt. "If you happen to see two stallions arguing about a raffle, tell them I said hi."

"Okay..." Twilight said as the stranger left. He bolted down the hallway with the blade in his mouth like some knight from a kingdom far away. Something about him felt... familiar.

They both watched as the stallion turned around another corner. "Do you know him, Twilight?" Chrys asked.

"I don't know," Twilight admitted. "How did he know me?"

"Well, you are a princess, Twilight," Chrys reminded her. "We better get going if so we don't lose Dan."

"Right...," Twilight said, casting one last glance down the hallway. She'd met many ponies before, many faces that sometimes blended together. But something told her that one wasn't just another stranger on the road.

"ARE YOU TWO COMING?!" Dan shouted back at them. "WE HAVE A CASTLE TO CRASH!"

"Dan's gonna break a lot in this Kingdom, Hearts included," Chrys remarked with a chuckle, both she and Twilight breaking into a run to follow their friend.

The doors to the guardhouse burst open and out leapt Dan.

"LOOK WHO'S BACK ON THE STREET! AND NOW FOR REVEEENNNGE!!"

Turning to his right, Dan saw the opulent Canterlot Castle just a short distance away. The guard station he'd just exited was actually only a few doors down from the castle. Despite the inconvenience of being arrested and imprisoned, it seemed Dan and the others had only taken a short detour as their destination was right down the street.

There were no other ponies around; the street and security checkpoint were both empty. With a diabolic grin, Dan made a mad dash through the street and past the checkpoint up to the makeshift barricade separating the road from the castle. Under normal circumstances, the castle wouldn't have such tight security measures in place but with the recent incident on the railways, apparently the higher-ups had seen it fit to erect a massive 10-foot wall between the castle and the rest of the city. Its flaws were obvious to Dan immediately.

"RRRRrrgggggggh, first you lock me in, now you think you can lock me out?!" Dan pulled on a large, steel ring that served as a door handle. It didn't budge. And unlike the jail cell, it didn't look like he'd be able to just undo the latch on the other side and get through. Still, he yanked it again, shaking the door futilely in anger. "ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHH!!!"

This was when Twilight and Chrysalis caught up to him. "Dan, what are you doing?" Twilight asked, her voice heavy with concern.

"What does it LOOK like I'm doing?!" Dan shouted, bracing his foot on the door and yanking harder. "I'm going to deliver a message to your princess personally! Help me get this open!"

"Um, Dan, I really don't think that's a good idea," Chrys pointed out.

"What's the matter? You should both be helping me!" Dan said, turning his sinister smile on them. "You get to introduce me to your princess and I get introduce her to my hands around her neck!" He then returned to struggling with the door.

Before Twilight could say anything, Chrysalis asked, her, "Hey Twilight?"

"Yeah?"

"You think Celestia will turn Dan into stone or send him to the moon?"

Twilight turned to Chrys, shocked. "Why would you say that?! We're not going to let that happen! We have to-"

Chrys stopped her, giggling to herself, "I'm kidding, Twilight. But I was thinking, if she sends Dan to the moon... I really hope she sends me with him." The queen blushed.

Twilight's shock turned to almost horror. "What?"

"THAT'S IT!" Dan shouted, apparently having heard none of conversation and began climbing the wall. "This might be a little over the top but I'M GOING OVER THE TOP!!"

"Oh brother," Twilight put a hoof on her forehead, looking to the ground as her friend began to scale the barricade. The closer she got to Canterlot, the more stress she encountered. The questions of what are we going to do and how am I going to explain this pounded on the door of her mind like Dan pounding on the gates of the castle. She knew both doors had the same key: patience. Unfortunately, Dan wasn't going to wait to look through the metaphorical key ring to find it.

Chrys put a hoof on her shoulder. "Once we're inside, you think we'll be able to explain things to your brother and sister-in-law?"

Twilight knew what she was really referring to. "I really hope so," was her reply. But that was actually an under-exaggeration. She didn't really hope so; she depended on it. "You think you can help him over the wall?"

Chrys' eyes were focused up. "It doesn't look like he needs help."

Twilight turned up. Dan was actually almost to the top, grunting and growling like some kind of ninja-ursa(still number-one threat to Equestria according to Stephen Coltbert).

"Well, you think you could maybe... help me?" Twilight asked shyly.

Chrys looked over to her. "Help climb?"

"No, help me... up."

"Oh," Chrys realized. She wasn't the only one that was still getting used to how things were now. While Twilight would need to learn how to use her wings eventually, not every moment had to be spent teaching, demonstrating and/or explaining things to her. Without another word, the black queen knelt down next to the smaller purple princess so she could climb on her back. Twilight carefully swung her leg over and mounted the larger mare.

Chrysalis took to the skies the moment Twilight was in place. It was odd for Twilight; Chrys' wings were insectile in nature, entirely unique to the changelings but they resembled the wings spawned by the wing spell. Was there a connection of some sort? Twilight's mind swam with possibilities and questions. More than anything else, she wanted all that she didn't know to be in some book she could just as easily pick off her shelf at home and read. Instead, she found herself in a situation she wouldn't believe if she read it as she was carried up.

"Thanks Chrys," Twilight said as they rose.

"No problem," Chrys replied, not sounding at all strained from carrying Twilight. The pair ascended to Dan's level just as he climbed to the top under the power of his own adrenaline-fueled rage.

"You call this an adequate defense?" Dan asked, standing atop the wall. He looked on both sides, examining it and then looking onto the castle in front of him. "What? That's it?"

"What do you mean?" Chrys asked, landing next to him.

"No electric fence, no barbed wire, no towers, no minefield, no defense emplacements, surface-to-air missile batteries, guard patrols, minefield or even a moat? What kind of castle doesn't have a moat?"

"Umm," Twilight tried to think.

"He's got a point, Twilight," Chrysalis said.

"Wait," Twilight thought. "We do have other defensive measures."

"Well, be sure to point them out along the way," Dan said, preparing to hop to the ground.

"Yeah, like your brother's shield spell," Chrys remembered.

"Shield spell..." Twilight repeated. Her eyes went wide. "Dan, wait!"

It was too late; he jumped. But instead of dropping down to ground level, he was stopped in midair. Although it had been invisible to all of them at first, Twilight, Chrysalis and especially Dan were now very aware of the protective energy shield surrounding Canterlot Castle.

Unlike the classic bubble and the advanced expulsion energy barriers, the transparent Electric Magic Protector(EMP) shielding spell was designed to defend against assaults that were known about ahead of time. Sophisticated magic, the EMP not only repelled attacks but also delivered a powerful shock to anything unfortunate enough to come into contact with it. Like Dan.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Dan screamed, arms and legs spread out as his body was electrified. In an instant, Dan was zapped and bounced off the shield like a fly getting too close to a bug zapper. A trail of smoke followed the young man as he rebounded off the shield and flew back over the fence to the street below.

"Dan!" Twilight and Chrys screeched. The two dashed to ground level.

"Maybe it doesn't need a... a moat after all," Dan commented as he smoldered on the ground.

"An invisible electric shield spell... that's a new one," Chrys remarked, looking over her shoulder.

"Well, you two are magic!" Dan exclaimed, standing up. "How do we get through it?!"

"I think I read about this spell recently" Twilight said, hoof to her chin. "The Shield-Shocker Surprise, one of the new EMP spells. I'm pretty sure it's still a prototype."

"And we disable it how?" Dan asked, mild irritation in his voice.

"I'm not sure. We could try the library nearb-"

"No," Dan flatly stated. "I did NOT take a weekend off from living in a library just to visit another one. We're getting through that shield one way or the other IF I HAVE TO BRING THE CITY DOWN AROUND IT!"

"Wait!" An idea came to Twilight. "Chrys, how did you get into Canterlot two years ago? My brother put a shield over the entire city; you must've found someway around it."

"Oh, uh," Chrys stammered shyly. "Well, we actually just used the tunnels underneath Canterlot. The caverns run all under the city, including the castle. I was conserving my strength, waiting for the day to strike when..." she trailed off.

"When...?" Dan urged her.

"When I saw Cadence and Shining. I could sense it when they first entered the city; they were in love. The love they shared was so powerful, so overwhelming they could only be in Canterlot for one thing- the wedding. So, I lured Cadence away, took her place and figured I could leech off Shining enough power to takeover Canterlot then and there. Almost worked, too," Chrys explained.

"So what you're saying is," Dan thought aloud, "I should impersonate Cadence!"

Chrysalis took the opportunity in that instance to change into the pink princess herself. "Oooh! We can be like twins! And then Cadence and Shining will-"

Dan grabbed her pink muzzle. "I. WAS. KIDDING."

The changeling changed back. "Oh. Sorry..."

"But you have given me an idea, Chrys," Dan rubbed his chin.

"What's that?" Twilight worriedly asked.

"A disguise. Something that'll make them open up the doors for us and we'll be able to walk right in like we own the place."

Chrys clapped her hooves, wings buzzing in delight. "OH yes! I love disguises! I'm the best at them. Who should I change into? Maybe-" a green flash enveloped her, "Princess Luna! You both are banished! The shun has been doubled!" she announced before another emerald burst overtook her. "Or how about Granny Smith?" her voice became crotchety. "Won't a young whippersnapper help an old mare inside? Or what about-"

"What about you and Twilight just keeping watch for me from up high while I handle this?" Dan suggested.

"Ah. Or you could do that. Yeah, sounds fine."

"Great," Dan said sarcastically. "Now, Twilight?"

"Yes?" Twilight asked nervously.

"You used to live here, right? Where's the nearest pizza parlor?"

"..."

In fact, it still hadn't been long ago that Twilight had lived in Canterlot. The nearest pizza purveyor just happened to be a Sbarro that was just down-

Oh screw you, Michael.

Wait, what?

Just because my name is Barro and we're doing the pizza delivery gag doesn't mean that-

Hey, I wasn't even thinking about that at all. We just needed a pizza place and I just happened to think of one.

Why don't I believe that?

Okay fine, but it is a funny reference.

Or you're just too lazy to ponify an actual pizza chain.

Oh, like ponifying something is that easy.

It's easier than you realize. You just have to take a minute and think, creative process.

All right, fine come up with something right now. Ponify a pizza chain right now.

... Trotminos. Califilly Pizza Kitchen. Sbarno.

... Screw you, Barro. My ide-

"WILL YOU TWO JUST GET A ROOM ALREADY??!!" Dan shouted at the author and director. The two arguing stallions ceased.

Sorry, Dan.

Yeah, sorry.

The pizza parlor was vacant when the trio arrived and its name wasn't relevant to this story anyway. It hadn't taken long for Dan and the others to appropriate a spare delivery uniform and even make an authentic pizza for delivering. Satisfied with the plan, the three marched back down the street to the barricade.

Chrys skipped along the way. "Krusty Krab Pizza! Is the pizza- for you and-"

"Don't. Just don't," Dan silenced Chrys' singing. Still a good distance away from the wall, he turned to them. "All right, I want you both to get up somewhere high. When they open the gate, I'm going to pie whoever opens it in the face and you two will rush in to cover me. Sound good?"

"Sounds good!" Twilight forced herself to say.

"Are you really going to hit a guard in the face with the pizza? We haven't eaten anything all day," Chrys held her stomach.

Dan had to admit, he was hungry too. But he was also hungry for vengeance. "When we get in that castle, we can raid their stores of all the food they've got. Which is why I've emptied my pockets," he said with a grin. "Now, get in position and be ready for my signal!"

"Right!" the two mares confirmed. Twilight hopped on Chrys's back and up they went again, flying to a nearby rooftop.

Gripping the pizza box, Dan took a moment to pull out a mirror and inspect his disguise. He took a moment to adjust his moustache. Perfect, they won't suspect a thing, he thought to himself. Smiling diabolically, he walked up to the barricade.

Twilight and Chrys watched him from a pair of binoculars on the rooftop.

"You think they'll have a lot of food for the party?" Chrys asked.

"Probably," Twilight replied. "Plenty of cake, pie, pizza and everything else we don't already eat tons of at home on a daily basis."

"Awesome," Chrys said, her mouth watering. "Where do you think Pinkie is?"

"I don't know," Twilight answered. "but if I know Pinkie, she's probably already inside the castle."

"Ah. You think Dan will be able to get us inside?"

"We're about to find out. Here he goes," Twilight and Chrys gripped their binoculars as they focused in on the scene.

Dan reached out and knocked on the thick gate three times. The sound reverberated through the wooden wall a bit. Dan's menacing grin grew wider as he waited for an answer. But none came.

He knocked again, harder this time. "Pizza's here! Open up!"

Watching the display, Chrys and Twilight couldn't help but see the flaw in Dan's plan.

"I don't think anypony's going to answer the door," Chrys said.

"It's probably too thick for anypony to even hear him knocking on the other side. Even then, they're probably still a good distance away from the actual barricade to hear it," Twilight commented, thinking.

"What are we gonna do now?" Chrys asked, still looking through her binoculars.

Twilight put a hoof on her chin. "I don't know. Maybe if I could contact somepony inside the castle, we could explain everything to them. I don't know how Dan is going to react when he finds out his plan isn't going to work."

"He's climbing the wall again," Chrys said.

"Oh boy."

"I think it's amazing how he can climb and still hold onto the pizza."

Looking back through her binoculars, Twilight saw the enraged Dan climbing up the side of the barricade again. The angered form of a pizza delivery boy, complete with fake moustache and hat scaled his way to the top of the wall. Taking the pizza in both hands, Dan jumped over again and landed on the shield. Since the uniform disguise he was wearing wasn't any more insulated than the clothes he was wearing underneath, the results were the same as before.

"GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

The shield flung a smoldering Dan back over the wall again. The pizza flew from the box as Dan landed in the street. Twilight and Chrysalis quickly rushed down to aid him.

"Dan!" Chrys and Twilight asked. "Are you okay?"

"I think this is the first time in history when a pizza boy has been charged for the pizza," Dan remarked.

"Badum tiss," Chrys added. "Where'd the pizza go?"

The two standing looked around for the misplaced Italian delicacy. "There!" Twilight pointed.

The pie in question had landed on the roof of another building, a garage by the appearance of it.

"Ha, roof pizza," Chrys chuckled. "So that's Spongebob and Breaking Bad in the same sequence. That has to be a record."

Dan brushed himself off as he stood, his moustache askew. "Can we please get through ONE episode without breaking the fourth wall?"

Chrys shrugged. "Maybe next episode. So, how are we going to get into the castle now?"

"We're gonna go with plan b," Dan stated, teeth gritted.

"Right," Chrys nodded, unsure. "What's plan b?"

Twilight and Chrys quickly realized that Dan's 'plan b' was in lack of something right away: any actual planning. Dan's 'plan b' apparently involved the furious pale human trying to break through the barricade and shield by whatever force he could manage. With the entire mysteriously vacant Canterlot at their disposal, Dan was free to attempt entry with any method he pleased. Meaning all of them.

The two mares did little more than watch as Dan tried about everything imaginable to bust through the heavy, wooden gates. From hitting the doors with a sledgehammer to using dynamite, tunneling underneath the wall to trying to teleport through it, Dan's temper only increased as he failed to assail the impenetrable wall and shield behind. Now dressed in a hardhat and construction clothes complete with goggles and another moustache, Dan was attempting to jackhammer his way through the door while Chrys and Twilight played that Battleship game seen in Read it and Weep.

"Sky nineteen," Twilight said.

"What!!?" Chrys yelled. Though they were sitting right across from each other, they couldn't hear very well because of Dan's jackhammering.

"I said, SKY NINETEEN!"

"OH!" Chrys shouted back. "You sank my airship!"

"WHAT?!"

"YOU SANK MY AIRSHIP!!"

"OH, NICE!" Twilight yelled back.

Dan's jackhammering abruptly ceased. "WHAT IS THIS THING EVEN MADE OUT OF?!!" he shouted, throwing down the tool. After using explosives, blunt objects, sharp objects, brute force, a fire hose, Space Balls: The Flamethrower, and saying 'Open Sesame' again, the wooden palisade didn't show a scratch or dent from Dan's siege.

"I don't know," Chrys said stopping the game, "but we should definitely build the new library out of it."

Twilight nodded in agreement. Whatever tree this wood came from, it was sturdy enough to take the full force of an enraged Dan. Truly, it was built to withstand anything.

"Why do they even need a barricade when they have an ELECTRIC SHIELD behind it?! Is it there in case somepony blabs about the secret knock?!" Dan turned to Twilight and Chrys. "We've tried everything short of an atomic bomb! Tell me you have an idea. I'm open to suggestions if they'll open this door!"

Chrys raised a hoof. "I have an idea!"

"What is it?" Dan asked eagerly.

The queen giggled. "With the hardhat and moustache, all you need is a denim jacket and you'll look like Wario!"

"Mm-ah ha ha ha ha!" Twilight laughed, holding her muzzle to try and stifle it to no avail. Chrys started laughing and then the two both burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Dan's expression slowly became one of seething rage again.

"Garrrrrrrrr," Dan's teeth were gritted and his fists were balled, which only served to make him look like an angry Wario. The two mares fell over, clutching their sides.

"Oh goodness, Dan, say Ima gonna win-o! Say it!" Chrys said.

"Oh gosh, not Mario Kart!" Twilight said, unable to stop laughing. "I'm sorry Dan, it's just-"

"Oooh! Oooh!" Chrys waved while on the ground. "We have to get a picture of him in a kart! Or a motorcycle!"

"RRRrrrrrr..." Dan's rage continued to build as the two laughed louder.

"Can you imagine Dan riding a motorcycle?"

"Stop it," Twilight said, "You're gonna make me cry!"

"HA ha ha ha ha!" The two chortled.

And then, Dan's rage was gone. His gritted-teeth scowl slowly turned upside down to form a smile. A new idea had hit him, or rather had just been suggested.

"Riding a motorcycle you say?" Dan asked, coyly.

"I know! Where on Equestria are we even going to find one?!" Chrys laughed again.

"Well, I don't know about a motorcycle but I do happen to know something I could ride..."

"What's that? Not a train again," Twilight said, regaining her composure.

"No, not exactly," Dan said, taking a step forward. "But I do think it might be time to 'saddle up', as the saying goes," he grinned.

"Ah ha ha ha... what do you mean?" Chrys asked, her laughter fading.

"Tell me, what else around here could I ride on?" he asked the two ponies.

"Ha ha...." Chrys's smile faded. All too late she realized what Dan was referring to. "Oh."

Twilight however hadn't yet. "Ha ha, is he going to ride a dragon? A golf cart?"

"No," Dan chuckled himself, "Not quite. Think smaller. Think purple."

"Is Spike here?" Twilight asked, looking around.

Chrys face-hooved. "Twilight, we're ponies."

"Ha ha, yeah?"

"He's talking about riding us."

Realization finally dawned on the purple princess. "Oh! Ha ha ha... ha... oh crapple seed."

Dan rubbed his hands together. "Let's get this rodeo on the road."

While Dan had some experience in horseback riding, that experience was limited to a time in his childhood when his parents took him to a ranch, once when he rode a pony at a friend's birthday part and an incident at a renaissance faire when he believed he was being ripped off and challenged the faire's owner to a joust. With these fond memories in mind, Dan mounted Twilight and prepared to charge the wooden barricade.

Twilight, on the other hoof, was not a work mare. The few times when she'd actually been used to carry another were few and far between, instances she didn't exactly remember fondly. Dan was also heavier than Spike but being supported by four legs, she found his weight easily manageable. And then he put on armor. Now, she was beginning to feel awkward and uncomfortable as she stood in the middle of the road. Of course, most of the awkward feeling came from Chrysalis over to the side who was taking pictures of them.

Queen Chrysalis was trying very, very hard not to laugh. But seeing the pair in this situation was just too funny to be contained. The three of them had visited a Nightmare Night store and acquired a suit of armor and lance for Dan to use in his attempt to breach the barrier. Underneath him, Twilight wore a saddle and a large, white sheet with two eyeholes cut out of the front so she wouldn't be recognized in the event her family or friends were on the other side of the shield and a third hole for her horn.

Roughly eighty meters from the barricade, the knight-suited Dan lowered his lance into position. "All right, are we all clear on the plan?"

"Chrys," Twilight said, "If I don't make it out of this... please, tell my friends what happened."

"Oh trust me, I'm going to tell everypony," Chrys assured her as she snapped a photo.

"That thing's withstood everything we've thrown at it so far... but not everything at the same time!" Dan declared. "With all the dynamite strapped to the lance, we'll smash into the barricade at full force while Twilight focuses her magic to shield us. Then, we punch through the wall and use the forward momentum to break through the shield!"

"I just have one question," Twilight turned to Dan on her back.

"Yes?"

"Why does it have to be me?"

"Twilight," Dan smiled at her, "you're the best when it comes to shielding magic. Chrys still only knows so few spells."

"He's right, Twilight," Chrys said. "But you know, you could ride me if you wanted to," she blushed slightly.

"That's good enthusiasm, Chrys but we'll only need the one time," Dan said as his eyes narrowed on his target.

Chrys rubbed her left leg with her right shyly. "Well, I meant you could ride me later.. for fun... if you wanted," she said quietly.

"Ready, Twilight?" Dan lowered his face shield.

"Ready..." Twilight said reluctantly.

"Wait!" Chrys raised a hoof, "Let me get more film!"

"CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGEEE!!!"

Squinting, the covered purple mare broke into a gallop. With Dan on her back, she raced down the street as fast as her legs could carry her. Her hooves clip-clopped in rapid succession on the cobblestone road as the wooden barricade came closer. The sight of a knight riding a ghost pony through Canterlot in the middle of the day would've seemed quite bizarre if anypony other than Chrys had been around to see it. Fortunately, Chrys was determined to take lots of pictures to commemorate the moment. She even switched on the stereo nearby which somehow played the theme of My Little Pony G1 rewritten to apply to the current situation.

My little pony, my little pony
Overcoming obstacles any way that you can
My little pony, my little pony
With Twilight Sparkle, Chrysalis and Dan!
Magic and science, explosives and violence,
However is this sequence going to end?
My little pony, my little pony,
It's crazy what you'll do for your friends!

Dan gritted his teeth. There was no way this couldn't work. They'd smash through that wall like it wasn't even there and he'd storm into the castle like a knight invading. Everything was perfect. The dynamite was active, his lance was lowered, armor in place and Twilight was charging at full pace. He was happy she wasn't holding anything back, running at full speed to execute his plans. This was the fastest he'd ever seen her run. In fact, she might've been too fast.

"Twilight, slow it down just a bit," he said, rotating his grip on the lance. But Twilight didn't respond; she continued galloping headlong towards the barricade. "Twilight, slow it down, I can't hold the-"

Dan's experience, or lack thereof in horseback riding and to be even more specific, jousting, had just caught up to him. Balancing on Twilight was easy enough, in full armor was a bit harder but he managed, doing all this and holding a lance was difficult but he found he still could, but a lance covered in dynamite? Gravity's grip on the explosive stick combined with Twilight's velocity proved to be too unstable a combination for Dan to hold onto.

"Twilight! TWILIGHT!" Sticks of dynamite began to fly off the lance as he bounced on the saddle. Twilight would've noticed this if she hadn't been focusing so hard on the wooden gates ahead of her. Her own teeth were gritted as she carried the flailing Dan, preparing to cast her shield spell just as soon as they reached it. But only she would reach it.

As Dan bounced, the lance dipped too low and he lost his grip on it. Just as he and Twilight were about to hit the barricade, the lance pinned the ground and Dan pole-vaulted himself off Twilight's back and into the air. Now unencumbered by Dan, Twilight continued to run past the point where the lance had stuck.

"AAAAAAAHHHH!!!" Dan screamed as he flew. Twilight finally noticed when Dan's shadow passed over her. She stopped running and looked up into to see him soar over the barricade and into the electric shield again.

"GGGRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAARRAAAAAAAAAAAARRRAAAAAGHH!!!!!" Dan screeched. The shield sparked and crackled as voltage surged through the unfortunate human stuck on the side. Finally, Dan rebounded off the shield and back into the street, next to his lance which was still stuck in the ground.

Flat on his back, smoke rolling off of him, Dan's head looked over to notice his lance right by him. Far too late, he realized it was still covered in dynamite.

Twilight turned around just in time to see the resulting explosion. A massive fireball engulfed the road sending flames, debris and Dan into the air. This time, he wasn't flung far enough to hit the shield but instead hit the barricade before it.

Smoking, smoldering, his suit of armor all but completely destroyed, Dan yelled, "CANTERLOCKDOWN!!" as he slowly slid down the wall.

"Dan!" Twilight yelled, running to his side again. "Are you all right?"

"Maybe... maybe I should ride a missile next time. Or a bomb. I think that would be safer."

Chrys ran up to them, panting. "That... was... awesome!! I ran out of film! Can we try that again when I get a new camera?"

"Sure," Dan replied, standing and brushing himself off for the third time. "Next time, it'll be YOUR turn."

Chrys's face turned red. "You want to ride on me next time, Dan?"

"No, YOU'LL be riding Twilight while you're both strapped to a bomb on a mine cart! Once we find a bomb, that is!"

"Oh," Chrys said. "Well, I saved the dynamite that fell off," she levitated a bundle of lit TNT sticks in front of her. "What should I do with them?"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!" Dan and Twilight screamed. Thinking quickly, Dan grabbed the bundle and chucked it as hard as he could over his shoulder. "That was lit dynamite! It was about to explode!" Dan shouted at Chrys. "What were you thinking?!"

"I'm sorry!" Chrys answered. "I've never seen anything like that before! I didn't know how it worked!"

"You light it, it blows things up! That's how it works!" Dan yelled.

"I see..." Chrys nodded. Unfortunately, Dan had apparently forgotten how the electric shield behind him worked. Instead of setting off the dynamite, the shield bounced it right back at him while his back was turned.

Twilight and Chrysalis, noticing the shadow on the ground, took a couple cautious steps away.

"And another thing, you-" Dan looked at the circle over him a bit too late. The dynamite landed on him and exploded. Once again, the street was awash in fire. The road cracked under the force of the blast.

"Are you... still okay, Dan?" Twilight asked nervously.

Lying flat on his back, Dan was covered in ash and soot. His shirt had been burned so that only the collar remained around his neck, exposing his pale flesh to the sun. His fists gripped the ground as he rose.

"Chrys!" he yelled as he stood.

"Yes, Dan?"

"It's your turn."

"I don't know, Dan," Chrys said, "I don't think we'll be able to build up enough speed on the road what with the smoldering craters and debris everywhere. And I think we're all out of dynamite. And lances and knight armor."

Twilight removed her ghost costume. "I think I've been ridden enough for today."

"All right, fine," Dan submitted. "Do either of you have any OTHER ideas? Some that might actually be successful?"

"Maybe we should take another look at things," Chrys said.

Dan threw his hands down. "What's to look at? It's a wall! There's no way around it; we've tried tunneling, teleporting and going through it!"

"I have to agree with Dan," Twilight said. "There's no spell I know of that can dispel an EMP and I know a lot of them. It looks pretty impassable."

"I just think we should take another look at it. Maybe there's something we missed," Chrys insisted.

"Fine," Dan finally agreed. "Let's look at the impenetrable barrier again, shall we?"

"Thank you," Chrys said back, smiling.

Dan and Twilight both climbed on Chrys's back and she carried them up to the top of the wall. She sat them down on it and together they looked out at the castle beyond, so close and yet still out of reach.

"See?" Dan gestured to the lightning bubble encompassing the castle. "Shield's still up. No way around it."

"Hmm," Chrys put a hoof to her chin. "Why would they need this barricade if they have a shield?"

"It's the castle," Twilight reminded her. "The guard wouldn't spare any defense if the castle was threatened."

"Then where are the guards?" Chrys asked.

"Well... I'm not sure," Twilight answered, thinking herself.

"They're probably inside, enjoying the party. LIKE WE SHOULD BE DOING!" Dan yelled.

Chrys surveyed the castle. She'd done this at least a few times long ago, probing the castle for weaknesses. It hadn't changed much since then, she had to admit, and it still looked as new as it did centuries ago. Except for an odd crater in the middle of the stretch of road beyond the barricade.

"Hey, was that always there?" Chrys asked, pointing at the blackened mark breaking the otherwise pristine-white cobblestone street.

Twilight squinted. "No... no, it wasn't. And if it was there for very long, somepony would've repaired it."

Chrys turned to her. "You don't think..."

"The dynamite!" Twilight yelled. "Dan, when the dynamite exploded, a stick of it must not have detonated right away! It must've been blasted by the others when they went up!"

"After everything that's happened today, I actually believe that," Dan said, staring at the crater. "That would mean..."

"It got through the shield somehow and exploded beyond it!"

"And I think I know how," Chrys said, taking flight again.

"What are you doing? Don't get too close to the shield or you'll get shocked!" Twilight warned.

"It's okay; I know what I'm doing," Chrys said. She flew high up, looking closely at the shield. It had been invisible when they first attacked the barricade but now it was sparking, a pulsing warning. Twilight was right: the shield was a prototype and its flaw was evident right away.

"Chrys, what're you-"

Both Dan's and Twilight's eyes went wide as they watched Chrys just slip through the shield unscathed. She landed down on the street passed it.

"The shield doesn't cover all of Canterlot! It's stops only a few feet higher than the barricade!" Chrys shouted.

Dumbstruck, Dan's jaw and Twilight's jaw hit the floor. "Seriously? SERIOUSLY?! NO, NO THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!!" Dan yelled. "You're telling me... YOU'RE TELLING ME, WE SPENT THIS ENTIRE TIME TRYING TO GET THROUGH THE SHIELD AND THE SHIELD DIDN'T EVEN... it didn't even..."

"It didn't even go up all the way," Twilight finished his sentence.

"AAAARGAGRRAAAAAAARRAG!!" Dan's shouted, his vocalized rage becoming even less coherent than it already was.

"Isn't this great, Dan?" Twilight asked, trying to cheer him up. He turned to her, slowly an insane look in his eyes. "Now we can finally get into the castle."

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" he screamed. "REVENGE!!" he jumped over the barricade.

"Dan, wait!"

Not high enough. Dan hit the shield. "GLRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAARRRRRRRGHH!!" Zapped, slammed and bounced, Dan was flung from the shield and over the wooden wall again.

Twilight and Chrys quickly hovered down to him. "Dan?" Did they even have to ask this time?

Hair flared out, Dan sat up. "Just take me into the castle."

For all the hassle of trying to get into Canterlot and through its defenses, Dan, Twilight and Chrys were overjoyed that no visible obstacles remained between them and the castle. The unbroken white cobblestone ran right up into the courtyard, walls of white and gold welcomed the trio as they approached. Ornamental grass sculptures artfully crafted in the shapes of ponies and fillies of all kinds lined the walkway up to the steps leading to the doors.

Burned, bruised and shirtless, Dan ignored most of these decorations as he lead the other two to the castle entrance and pushed both the doors wide open.

"Where's Celestia?! And if anypony tells me the princess is in another castle, heads are gonna roll!" Dan announced as he entered.

"Maybe we could just, I don't know, forget what happened outside now that we're here," Twilight suggested.

"I'll forget getting over those walls when all of Canterlot is erecting a statue in my honor," Dan answered.

"Oh my goodness... it's so lovely in here," Chrys remarked. "I guess I never really got a chance to admire the interior last time, what with the whole 'takeover Equestria' thing." The lavish foyer of the castle matched the opulence of the exterior perfectly. Red carpeting covered the floor and ran throughout the hall. Archways branched off at symmetrical points further into the castle. Everywhere to look were flower arrangements and vases on pedestals, gold livery and tapestries. Stained glass in a myriad of designs, colors and depictions filled every window and suits of pony armor guarded every door. There was not a space in the castle that did not accentuate elegance.

"It's beautiful but it's a lot of work to maintain," Twilight said, looking around herself. "Attendants have to work every day to make sure everything is clean and in pristine condition. Ambassadors and diplomats from all over the world arrive here so everything has to be kept in an orderly fashion. Lots of ponies, even the royal guards have duties to maintain the interior. Everything here tells a story."

One might initially think a native Canterloter like Twilight would be used to the luxurious surroundings of the castle. But Twilight was ever the student and as such, she looked at the castle as just one massive library. One of the reasons being a princess intimidated her was the simple fact that she might actually have to learn everything about the castle. Which she would enjoy up until she was tested on her knowledge by say, a visiting representative of another country. Or literally anypony.

"Is this a castle or a museum?" Dan asked.

Twilight giggled. "Have you ever been to a castle before, Dan?"

"Used to get dragged to Disney Land every now and then but otherwise, no. Still, I wasn't expecting this much junk to just be hanging around."

Chrys laughed. "What exactly were you expecting, Dan?"

Dan thought for a moment. "Actual gold, treasures, jewelry on everything, coats-of-arms, portraits, solid-gold statues,... guards."

Twilight laughed out loud. "Dan, all those things you described WOULD be in museums! And the gold's kept in the Equestrian National Reserve Center. And the guards are-"

"All around us," Dan finished for her.

"What?"

"FREEZE!!

"Meep!" went Chrys.

Royal guard ponies sprang fourth from the columns, from behind archways and even under the rugs. In an instant, the trio was surrounded by furious armored stallions with horns glowing. The three paused, freezing as instructed mostly from the shock alone.

Dan threw his hands out and approached the nearest guard. "Well, finally! It was hard enough trying to get in here but at least now we can get some service! Now, the first thing I want-"

KRZZZZZZAP!! The guard jabbed Dan with a glowing horn.

"Gehhhhhhhhrrrrrraah!!" Dan keeled over and writhed on the floor.

"I don't know how the three of you escaped but it won't happen again. You're going to the dungeon this time and-"

Dan reached up and slugged the royal guard in the muzzle. "We aren't going anywhere!"

"Dan?!" Twilight and Chrys gasped.

Now standing, the rejuvenated biped turned to them. "Ha! I've been shocked so many times today, I don't even feel it any more!" he then turned back to the guards. "Now, who were the ones who locked us up in the first place?!"

"Dan," Twilight poked him on the shoulder.

"What?"

"Maybe... maybe it wasn't a good time to visit Canterlot. Maybe we could just go home?"

"After everything we've been through?!" Dan yell-whispered at her.

After everything they'd been through... yes, it was a lot to consider. The train ride, trying to get inside, so much had happened, Twilight had reached her limit. If it meant another altercation, her body told her she wasn't going to be a part of it.

"It's been a long... couple of days, Dan," Twilight said. "I don't think it's worth it."

"I... I..." Dan stammered, not knowing what to say. Angered, frustrated, he looked into the tired pony's eyes. Both she and Chrys were exhausted, beaten. Not quite as badly as he had been but he'd taken them along with him for most of it. As he looked at both of them, he felt his own fatigue set in, stinging him.

"All right," he finally said. "But there's one thing I want to do first."

"What's that?" For once, Dan was agreeing with her. That actually gave Twilight a bit more energy. Despite her weariness, her spirit found the strength to be enthusiastic for one last venture. "What can we do?"

"Before I leave," Dan spun back, announcing to the guards, "we demand to see Princess Celestia!"

The guards let out a collective gasp. "No changelings are getting anywhere near the princess!"

"We are NOT changelings!"

"Except for me!"

"We are the closest associates of Princess Twilight Sparkle and we demand to see the princess right now!" Dan shouted.

"You don't get to see the princess!" the guard Dan punched shouted back. "The princess is the ruler of all Canterlot, of all Equestria and she-"

"She can speak for herself," a voice behind them declared.

The guards gasped again and immediately came to attention. Dan, Twilight and Chrys slowly turned around to see...

"Princess Celestia!" Twilight exclaimed. The purple mare ran over to her mentor, the regal Princess Celestia, standing just in front of the doorway.

"Twilight Sparkle!" the princess said. The two ponies embraced one another, sharing a warm hug. "It's good to see you, Princess Twilight."

"It's good to see you, too, princess," Twilight answered, unwilling to break the hug. The young princess was practically teary-eyed. After all the overwhelming things that had occurred, she was overjoyed to see the alicorn who always looked out for her, the one pony she counted on. It felt like being home at last since her home had been destroyed.

"I do hope we're not interrupting anything," another voice said.

"Princess Luna!" Twilight's face lit up. "I'm happy to see you, too!"

Luna blushed slightly and joined the hug. Sun, moon, and Twilight were reunited again.

"Likewise, Princess Twilight," Luna said.

Twilight bristled a tad at her title but hugged them both back tighter.

"Your majesties," the royal guards bowed. A sea of horns and armor lowered to the ground in respect of the return of the rulers.

A certain changeling queen and shirtless pale human raised eyebrows. "Really?" Dan asked. "How do you know THEY'RE not changelings?!"

Chrys put a hoof to her chin. "Ya know, I haven't really tried impersonating Celestia or Luna lately..."

"A minute ago, you all thought WE were changelings, including Twilight!" Dan yelled, angry. "They share one hug and now everything's okay?"

The first royal guard shrugged. "Works for me."

"GrrrrrAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGAGGGGHH!!" Dan groaned in rage.

"And you must be Dan," Celestia said, stepping forward.

"Yes," Dan said, turning to the princess and smiling. "You'll forgive me for not wearing a shirt but WHEN YOUR GUESTS CAME OVER, YOU FORGOT TO DISARM THE ELECTRIC FENCE!!!" he shouted angrily.

Twilight and Chrys, even the royal guards looked nervous but Princess Celestia only calmly smiled back. "I noticed," she giggled. "When Luna and I returned from investigating the train, we were a bit surprised to see the palisades and shield in place. Fortunately, we knew how to get around it. I'm surprised you three were able to figure it out so quickly."

"I..." Dan stopped before saying something else. "I... I guess it wasn't that hard to get around once we found out how. But it shouldn't have been up in the first place," he remarked.

"It was unnecessary and a bit excessive," Celestia agreed. "We'll have to see about finding a more reasonable way to protect things from now on."

Although he didn't notice it, Twilight did. As Celestia mentioned about protecting things, her eyes looked at Dan for some reason. The two caught eyes very briefly as the princess passed.

"And... I believe we've met before," Celestia said, approaching Chrys.

Just as tall as Celestia herself, the changeling queen was one of the only other ponies who had ever actually matched her in magic. The two stood evenly, almost a full head over everypony else in the room. Even Luna was slightly dwarfed by her older sister and the queen. The two were equals in many ways both known by the pair and unknown. Though Celestia had been defeated the last time she stood before the queen, in this very castle, it was Chrysalis that now looked beaten.

"Um, hello," Chrys said, rubbing her right leg with her left, averting her gaze to the floor. "Your majesty, thank you for inviting us."

Princess Celestia's expression was an aura of calmness in front of her former foe. "I see my former student keeps interesting company lately."

Chrys swallowed. What was going to happen now? Although she was sweating, nervous as Twilight in any given situation, Chrys pulled up her head and looked Celestia back in the eyes and smiled as softly as she could. Whatever Celestia was going to do, render judgment, render criticism, cast her out again, she would take it. Right here, right now, right away, she was standing with her friends.

"Queen Chrysalis... or should I say, Chrys," Celestia began. "On behalf of Equestria, welcome to Canterlot Castle."

Practically breaking into tears, Chrys said, "Thank you, Princess Celestia. I'm very happy to be here."

"We're happy you could join us," the princess put a hoof on the queen's shoulder. "And thank you for taking care of my student and her friends."

Chrys was a bit surprised at that last comment. "Yo-you're welcome, your majesty."

"Now, Twilight," Celestia turned to her former student, "I believe your friends arrived here already. They should be in the garden."

"My friends?!" Twilight asked in disbelief.

"Yes," Luna confirmed, "Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack and Fluttershy arrived here yesterday and Pinkie joined them just an hour ago."

"WHAT?!" Twilight yelled. They were already here?! How did they get here? Why-oh, she should've been expecting this, she realized that.

"Now, if everything is cleared up, we have a celebration to prepare for tomorrow. Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor are celebrating their anniversary here at the castle and I am sure they would love to see you," Celestia said. "I believe they're out back with your friends."

"Oh!" Twilight remembered. "Yes, we should go see them and see if they need any help for the party!"

Princess Celestia smiled. "I'm sure they'll be delighted you're here."

"Let's get going!" Twilight called, running past the guards as she suddenly found her energy.

Dan and Chrys shrugged at one another. "Might as well go see how the gang's doing," Chrys said.

"Yeah, I wonder if their trip here was as enjoyable as ours."

"I think ours will still be the most exciting."

Celestia and Luna watched their guests depart.

"She is quite adept at making friends," Luna commented.

"And at keeping them," Celestia added. Was there a hint of jealously in their voices, perhaps? If there was, it was far too vague to detect and just as easily disappeared. Just because the two sisters were long lived did not mean they had grown accustomed to quick changes. The duration of time, centuries, was just as long to them as a creature who's lifespan is measured in moments. They both knew all too well that no matter how much time is measured, every moment counts. As they watched Twilight, Dan and Chrys depart, their minds drifted back into other moments they remembered from long ago.

Every moment counts...

"As for the rest of you," Celestia said to the guards still bowed, "in light of the preparations for the anniversary, you are all dismissed for the weekend!"

The guards erupted into a cheer and galloped out of the castle like school colts and fillies at recess. They stormed past the two princesses and outside, some throwing off their helmets and leaving them where they dropped. The doors to the castle shut behind them, leaving Celestia and Luna alone in silence together.

"What will we do now, sister?" Luna asked.

Celestia sighed. "We'll do what we can. Whatever they need, whenever they need it... and until then, we'll watch. And wait."

The two sisters cleaned up after their protectors, taking the discarded pieces of armor and straightening out things as they went along. So few things were ever as they were "supposed" to be, changes, compromises continued to flow in and around their lives. And yet, some things remained. It was those things the sisters, old as they were looked on as uncertainty blocked their view of the future.

Celestia and Luna both shared many things. Right at that moment, they shared a feeling together. They realized that the passing of the torch had happened long ago and now they were racing after a light they may never catch up to knowing one day... they will fall behind it.

What they didn't know, what they hadn't learned yet was that the same light, the same torch might be passed to them again. Until then, they would chase after it... perhaps they were even seeing a new light to carry?

Dan and the others reached the rear exit of the castle, the opening to the gardens.

"Ha... ha.... this castle is huge!" Dan said, panting.

"And it's easy to get lost, too," Twilight said, looking for her friends. "Where are Pinkie and the others?"

"I don't know," Chrys said, shading her eyes with a hoof and looking. Of course, her foreleg had holes in it that made shading a bit difficult as light would shine through her perforations.

"Wait, there they are!"

"Twilight!" Rainbow Dash called, leading the rest of her friends behind her. The rainbow mare dashed to Twilight and tackled her, giving her big friend a hug. The others quickly ran and bounced over to her and soon, there was another group hug taking place. Chrys joined the hug and so did Dan.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so happy to finally see you all again!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Twily!" Shining called, walking up the steps to see her with Cadence.

"Shining! Cadence!" Twilight broke from the group hug to join her brother and sister-in-law.

"Twilight, we're so happy you could make it," Cadence said.

"Wouldn't have missed it for anything," Twilight said. Just minutes ago, she was thinking of turning around and going home. How could this change have happened so quickly?

Chrys knew. Friends and family could do that.

"What took you guys so long getting here?" Shining asked.

"WHAT TOOK US SO LONG?!" Dan repeated, exasperated. "YOU FAINTED IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CITY AND WE GOT ARRESTED! WHAT DO YOU THINK TOOK SO LONG?!!"

"Oh," Shining said, realizing. "You guys actually got arrested?"

"We did," Chrys said, stepping forward. "We all did. They thought we were... all of us, were changelings. Invading Canterlot. Again."

Shining put a hoof on his forehead. "Oh, Twily, I'm so sorry. I just... after I woke up in the castle, I thought you were already inside. I didn't know."

"It's okay," Twilight said. "But... why did you just pass out like that?"

The stallion prince put a hoof behind his head. "Well uh, it was... kind of a shock."

"What was kind of a shock?" Cadence asked.

Twilight looked at her brother. "You didn't tell Cadence, did you?"

He smiled bashfully back at her. "Uh, I just uh, didn't really get around to it."

"I think some explainin' is in order," Applejack said, encouraging a little honesty.

Chrys stepped forward. "Allow me," she walked over to Cadence. The pink princess was a bit surprised, maybe even shocked to see the changeling queen emerge from the crowd. Her expression was one of nervousness combined with awkwardness. Nawkwardness, Pinkie thought to herself. "We... kind of figured that me being seen in Canterlot again might frighten a few ponies. So, I changed into you so we could get through the line into the castle. But when Shining saw me..."

Chrys changed into Cadence to give it more of a point. Shining swallowed hard, feeling faint again.

"What happened?" Cadence asked Chrys, now a mirror of herself.

"He kissed me. Then I changed back," she returned to her normal changeling form, "and he passed out. Right in front of everypony."

Dan balled up a fist. "And then the guards arrested us and threw us in jail!"

Cadence actually giggled. "You... kissed Chrysalis?" she asked her husband.

"Please, I didn't know it wasn't you and I-"

"Well, it's not like it was the first time," Cadence said, chuckling.

"Eh heh, I guess your right," Shining said, laughing as well, nervously.

Tail whipped. Ponytail whipped. It happens in Equestria.

"It was hard enough just trying to get here," Dan commented, arms folded. "Finally we've arrived and it looks like the party's over."

"Are you kidding?!" Pinkie shouted. "We just got done with the pre-party party! The REAL party's not till tomorrow! And I'm baking a new cake!"

"We would never have started without you," Fluttershy said.

"If you hadn't showed up, I would've searched all of Canterlot to find you guys!" Rainbow declared.

"Though, I think some of you might be needing some new clothes," Rarity commented, looking at Dan.

Looking down, he realized he was still shirtless. "Yeah, new shirt would be nice. Maybe something durable, fireproof. You guys have that, right?"

Rarity smiled. "I'll see what I can whip up."

"So," Chrys rubbed her hooves together, "Now that we're here, we've got the rest of the day to ourselves before the party! What should we do?"

Shining smiled. "Well, since this is the three of you are going to be staying at the castle, I recommend registering and getting a room."

"Ah, good idea," Chrys agreed.

Pinkie nodded. "I couldn't find you guys after we got separated so I went ahead and got my room already. I don't know about it now, there might be kind of a line."

Dan turned to Pinkie. "How long of a line?"

Just around the back of the castle was guest relations, a registration area for those visiting the castle. Royalty, visitors, guests of all kinds had to register before being allowed to stay within Canterlot castle, princes, princesses, queens, elements of harmony and short-tempred aliens included. Had they arrived early, the registration process would've been a lot short... as would have the line.

The group turned the corner to see a massive qeue of ponies leading into the guest area of the castle. Dan broke down to his hands and knees. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Chrys put a hoof on Dan's shoulder. "Don't worry, Dan. I'm sure it won't be that long of a wait."

"We'll see you guys in the castle!" Shining said, leading Cadence and Twilight's other friends minus Dan and Chrys back inside.

"We'll meet up with you as soon as you get your rooms!" Twilight called back. "What do you say, Dan? You want to try this again?"

Dan picked his head up. "Well, actually... this one does look shorter. And I think I've waited longer in lines at Disney Land."

Chys smiled. "And with the three of us here, I'm sure we'll be at the front in no time at all."

And so, the trio found a space in line.

You and I, we've been doing this forever
And once again, we're in for some bad weather
I might be wrong but it seems like we
Can't seem to stay out of trouble at least for very long!

You and I,
it looks like we're stuck again!
And I wonder why,
are we just that lucky then?
No matter how we try,
it always seems that you and I,

Will wind up in some kind of trouble in the end!But I'm happy to be in it right here with you, stuck here with my friends!

It seems that we, whenever we take chances,
We run into circumstances,
That go upset whatever we plan...

And through it all, no matter what we can do,
I'll be right here with you,
To help any way I can!

Yes, you and I,
It looks like we're stuck again!
And I wonder why,
Are we just that lucky, then?
No matter how we try,
It always seems that you and I,
Will find ourselves in some kind of trouble in the end!
But I'm happy to be right here in it with you, stuck here with my friends!

Are we just two of a kind?
In every single incident I find,
That some way you and I are intertwined

And although sometimes it's a grind,
No matter where we up and wind,
If there's a problem, I only have one thing on my mind!

Twilight: Chrys!
Chrys: Dan!
Dan: TWILIGHT!

You and I,
I guess that we're stuck again!
And I wonder why,
How I can be so lucky, then?
That every time,
When I find myself stuck in this strange and crazy trend?
That you're always right here in it with me... now matter what's around the bend...
You're always here to help me, and that makes me so lucky... to be...
Stuck here with my friends!

Before long, Dan, Twilight and Chrys were at the front of the line and registered at the castle equivalent to a hotel's front desk. It only took a matter of minutes and they were ready to see the rest of their friends.

"See, Dan? That didn't take long at all," Twilight commented.

"Yeah, it was definitely easier than getting through the barricade," Dan remarked. "But now that we're here, I'm ready to start enjoying myself."

Chrys and Twilight both raised an eyebrow at Dan. "What exactly do you mean by that?"

Dan grinned. "You'll find out. Now, let's get inside and have a good time."

The three entered the castle wondering what the weekend had in store for them. Although, one of them already had a pretty good idea.

What they didn't know was that there was another 'guest' that had ideas of their own. And they were watching them.

Canterlot Royal Guard Station- Castle Precinct
Interior Security Camera 8A, West Corridor
Warning: Unauthorized Access Detected
Time: 14:04

The power was restored quickly to the Canterlot guard station though the reason it went out in the first place remained a mystery. The cameras swept the interior; one in particular picked up quite an interesting conversation. But it wasn't transmitted to any suite in the guardhouse...

"It's right this way, sir," the royal guard said as he escorted the visitor down the hall. "Don't know why you'd want to represent these three. Changelings trying to attack Canterlot, assaulting a prince, causing a panic, and let's not even count the property damage. You must be some kind of dedicated."

(You could say that.) the visitor being escorted thought to himself.

The two turned a corner and approached a cell.

"What?" the guard said as he stared at the empty cell. "They're gone! They've escaped somehow, I don't know but-"

"Calm down," another royal guard, walking down the hall said. "We made a mistake, anyway."

"Mistake?"

"Yep," the new guard said. "It turns out, they were telling the truth. That actually WAS a princess with them and the changeling queen was reformed."

The visitor remained quiet, listening to this interaction.

The first royal guard swallowed hard. "Uh... uh oh. Are you... are you sure?"

"Yeah," the other nodded. "Heard it from Princess Celestia herself. They just registered at the castle, special guests of the princess."

(The police here sound just as 'resourceful' as the ones back home. I wonder if they have a clueless detective too?)

"So... we really arrested Princess Twilight Sparkle? They weren't changelings?"

"Well, one of them was," the second guard responded. "But she's reformed and staying at the castle now."

The first guard swallowed again and turned to face the taller visitor. "Hey, you said they were friends of yours, right?"

"Yeah," the guest replied. (They don't really know I'm here right now but it would be nice to see them again.)

Sweating, the guard asked, "You think you could maybe, put in a good word for me? Apologize for the misunderstanding for me-uh, I mean, for the force?"

"Sure," the visitor said.

The other guard approached the vacant cell and slid back the door. "Looks like the door locks disengaged when the power went out. We must be overdue for maintenance."

(Great. Now they remind me EXACTLY of cops back home.) "You said they were at the castle, right?" the tall visitor asked the other guard stallion.

"Yes, they just registered as guests of the princess."

"I think I'll pay them a visit now," he said, turning and walking away.

"Hey, you'll be sure to tell them how helpful we were, right?" the guard called as he left.

"I'll let them know," the visitor said back as he turned the corner.

"Wow... what a nice bird," the first royal guard said.

"He's not a bird; he's a human," the other informed him.

The first one turned back to him, puzzled. "But he said his name was Phoenix."

The two guards continued their discussion as Phoenix Wright, defense attorney rounded the corner and headed to the exit.

"Oh, excuse me," a hooded stallion said as he passed by.

Phoenix didn't say anything back. While this wasn't the first time he'd visited Equestria, he still found surprises literally around every corner. It was another world, that much was clear but his friends were here. And while it wasn't the specific reason he'd been summoned, he did want to make sure to see them again while he was here.

(I wish I could've brought Maya with me. I'll have to ask if she can come with me next time... before I'm magically summoned to this dimension.)

Phoenix exited the guardhouse, taking a moment to get his bearings before stepping out on the street. He'd only visited Ponyville the last time he was here and still didn't know his way around, well, anywhere in this world. Fortunately, the castle dominated the view of the horizon and so he headed in that direction.

(Even in another dimension, I'm too poor to stay in a place like that.) he thought to himself as he viewed the castle he was approaching.

The streets were vacant in the afternoon but Phoenix noticed a few interesting things, clear evidence of activity. A couple holes in the street, blackened pock-marks scored the cobblestones at various places. Shards of a metallic weapon were scattered around a steel rod sticking out of the middle of the street, how it got there he could only guess. As he got closer to the castle, he noticed a large, wooden barricade separating it from the rest of the street.

(More like Fort Canterlot. How am I supposed to get over this thing?)

"Hey, over here," a voice said to him.

He turned to an alleyway off to the side, a hooded figure stood in the space between buildings.

"You looking to get into the castle?"

"Yes, that is if this is Canterlot Castle," Phoenix answered the stranger.

"Oh, it is," the stranger replied. The figure had a female voice and stepped forward. "You're Phoenix Wright, aren't you?"

"Yes," Phoenix answered. "Do I know you? Were you the one who called me about Twilight?"

"No, that was actually a friend of mine. We've never really met but I have to say, I am a really big fan of yours. I watched that whole trial where you defended Rainbow Dash; it was awesome."

"Thanks..." Phoenix replied. Whoever it was, their face was obscured by a brown hood, unlike the pony he'd bumped into in the guard station. "Are you here with another hooded pony?"

"Oh no, I'm here with a couple other friends. But listen," the mysterious mare stepped forward, "I can't let you into the castle."

Phoenix stepped back. "Why not?"

"Your little friends need to see something very important in the castle and right now, they don't need any distractions. Capiche?"

"No, I don't-capiche? Look, what is it you want?" he demanded the stranger.

"I'm really sorry to do this Nick; like I said, I'm a big fan. I hope you'll sign my autograph after this."

"After what?!"

The mare raised a hooded foreleg and out flowed a jet of vapor. In an instant, Phoenix was enveloped in a cloud of pinkish gas.

"Gah-*cough*-geh, uhhhh" he passed out, collapsing in a heap on the road.

"Sweet dreams, Mr. Wright," the hooded mare said, stepping over him. The cloud quickly dissipated and she reached a hoof into his coat pocket, pulling out his cell phone.

Raising it to her ear, the mysterious assailant called a number that only she knew.

"Hello?" the familiar voice on the other end answered.

"It's me. I just took care of your 'plan b'."

"He's not going to interfere?"

"No, not for a while, at least. You want me to send him back?"

The voice on the other end was silent for a moment. "No, we might need him again. Put him someplace out of the way and make sure he doesn't see you when he wakes up."

"Understood." The mare closed the phone and put it back in the unconscious lawyer's pocket, not noticing a glowing stone next to it. She dragged him into the alleyway and down into the basement of a deserted store, a bakery.

Episode 6: Danifest Mestiny- Dan Vs. A Canterlot Anniversary

Twilight Sparkle quickly learned Dan had a very unique idea of how to have a "good time" in Canterlot. Galloping as fast as her legs could go, she asked Chrys next to her, "Why did we agree to this again?"

"Dan wouldn't tell us what it was unless we agreed to do it before!"

"But I DIDN'T agree to it!"

"No," Chrys smiled, "but Pinkie did!"

"Pick it up, you two! MUSH! MUSH!" Dan shouted. Behind the reigns of a chariot pulled by Twilight and Chrys, Dan grinned as the ponies carried his vehicle faster and faster. "We're almost on them!"

Dan's chariot chased Pinkie Pie's being pulled by Rainbow Dash and Applejack. The earth pony and Pegasus were faster than the princess and queen and were pacing themselves along the length of the Canterlot stadium track. Seeing this as an opportunity, Dan yelled at his respective pullers to close the gap between their competitors and take the lead.

"Dan..." Twilight panted, almost out of breath, "they're too fast... we can't beat Rainbow and AJ on hoof. Besides, they're a lap ahead of us."

"Oh, yes we can!" Dan affirmed. "Keep going!"

"Grrr-unnh!" Twilight groaned, running faster. Harnessed to Dan's chariot, she didn't see how any of this could possibly be a form of entertainment but her friends seemed to be enjoying it.

As Dan's chariot approached, Pinkie turned around and waved to her competition. "Hey guys! Isn't this fun?"

"For you*pant* maybe," Twilight gasped.

"Beating a princess AND a queen in a chariot race!" Rainbow thought aloud, pulling the lead cart with Applejack. "Best vacation ever!"

"I bet not even the Wonderbolts have ever takin' on a princess and won," Applejack agreed. The two were working together, a pair of the fastest ponies in Equestria and it showed. They hadn't even broken a sweat to get a commanding lead over Dan, Chrys and Twilight. Even Pinkie was enjoying herself though, the only way she wouldn't have been enjoying herself is if she'd been Discord'd again. The only way to cancel out energetic, enthusiastic spontaneity was with more of the same.

And unlike the ponies, Dan was fully aware of this.

Twilight and Chrys were scant few feet away from Pinkie. "One more lap, guys!" Pinkie called behind her. "You think you can keep up?"

"Oh, we're gonna do better than keep up! Twilight, teleport us right in front of them!"

"What?!" Twilight almost turned around to accuse Dan.

"NOW!!"

Twilight cast the spell as instructed and instantaneously, their chariot disappeared and reappeared in front of Pinkie's.

"What?! Hey!" Rainbow shouted and them, now in front of her. "What gives? That's cheating!"

"Relax, Rainbow," Applejack told her, "They're still a whole lap behind us. There's no way they can beat us ta the finish line."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that!" Dan turned around, grinning.

"What? Are you going to drop a banana peel in front of us?"

"Not quite," Dan reached into his pocket and pulled out a pastry.

"Oh no," Applejack said as Dan held up the baked good for the three of them to see. Pinkie's eyes went wide as she gazed upon the confectionary treat, her one weakness: cupcakes. Well, technically any sugary treat was her weakness but especially things that involved cake. Cups, pans, bunts, even fruitcakes on Hearth's Warming Eve.

"So? It's a cupcake, big deal. What're you going to do with-"

Pinkie was instantly mesmerizing by the pink frosting-covered treat. "CUPCAKE!!"

"Pinkie..."

Dan waved the cupcake back and fourth at his competitor. "That's right, Pinkie. Cupcake~"

"Oooooh~"

"You want it?"

Pinkie nodded emphatically.

"Pinkie!..." AJ chastised. Was she really going to fall for this?

Dan threw the cupcake off to the side of the track. "Go get it!"

And Applejack's question was answered. Pinkie immediately jerked the reigns back. Being harnessed in, Rainbow Dash and Applejack were forced to react to Pinkie's motion, pulling the chariot in a sharp right to compensate. One of the wheels came off the ground in the maneuver while the other scraped up the dirt.

"DAN!!" Rainbow and Applejack shouted as they were literally left in the dust.

Dan laughed as his chariot blew down the track. "I knew beating them would be a piece of cake!"

"Dan, that was cheating!" Twilight shouted behind her. She would've stopped to confront his actions but she was pulling the cart. "Also, don't you mean cupcake?"

"It's not going to help us much anyway; we're still a lap behind and this is the last lap," Chrys remarked.

"Not for long," Dan said back. The chariot pulled around the corner and crossed the goal line of the massive oval track. Pinkie had leapt from her vehicle to retrieve the cupcake once they'd stopped; Rainbow Dash and Applejack were both trying to get her to return to the race. With only one length of the course remaining for them, all they had to do was get Pinkie back at the reigns and round the last leg to win.

"Pinkie, it fell in the dirt!" Rainbow yelled.

"It's still good! It just needs to be dusted off!"

"C'mon now, we're almost at the end! Get back in the chariot and let's finish this!" Applejack chastised, looking to the goal line.

Dan gritted his teeth and gripped the reigns tightly. The chariot rounded the corner, about to pass Pinkie, Rainbow and Applejack again. "Come on, Twilight, we've got this!"

The purple princess was almost completely exhausted. "Next time,*pant*... I'm getting*pant*... my own*pant* chariot."

"Pinkie, they're almost going to pass us!" Rainbow shouted.

"Fine!" Pinkie said, abandoning her search for the wayward cupcake. She returned to the reigns of the chariot and pulled it back into position, starting up again.

"Hey Pinkie!" Dan yelled from behind.

Pinkie turned around. "What?"

As Dan and the others passed them, he tossed another cupcake at the ground.

"MINE!!" Pinkie dove out of the cart. Applejack and Rainbow both facehooved as Dan's chariot passed them again.

Chrys chuckled to herself. "I guess she didn't know the cake was a lie, err, trap."

"*pant* Once again, that was a cupcake," Twilight reminded them. "And it's still...*gasp* cheating!"

"Well, we didn't really set any ground rules to this," Chrys said gleefully as she galloped.

"Ha ha ha!" Dan laughed triumphantly. He knew Twilight's friends would do their best to play fair; that's why he set up the teams this way. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were the fastest pair in Equestria and Dan knew that. What he wanted to show everypony was that there were more advantages than just speed, including understanding your opponent. The finish line was in sight as they made the final turn. "That's how you race! Nothing held back, no rules, a contest of more than just-"

A crackling explosion interrupted Dan. In the fraction of a second, his chariot was practically blown off the road as a force rushed by. His hair was blasted forward as a cloud of dust covered him, Twilight and Chrys. It didn't take him long to realize what happened.

"Woo hoo!" Pinkie yelled as she rode by on Applejack, literally tied to her back with the reigns. The dust quickly cleared and Dan saw the finish line directly ahead. With Rainbow Dash leaning on one of the goal posts. AJ and Pinkie crossed just ahead of them.

Rarity applauded the chariot racers from the stands, cheering them as she trotted down to the racetrack to see them.

"Good job, y'all!" Applejack said, turning to Dan and the others.

"Yep, nice nice everypony," Rainbow agreed.

Dan immediately dismounted his chariot. "That's not fair! You didn't finish with your chariot; you should all be disqualified!"

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "Oh, unfair like the way you distracted Pinkie with a cupcake?"

Dan gritted his teeth but couldn't think of anything to say. His plan had backfired and he'd been the one taught a lesson. He'd planned on teaching Twilight and the others how to find other ways out in situations rather than just playing by the rules. But they already knew this, knew how to think outside the box and when to bend the rules. So why didn't Twilight ever do that on her own?

"That was cheating, Dan," Twilight said, unharnessing herself.

"And it was delicious!" Pinkie added, licking the frosting off her muzzle.

"What an incredible sport!" Rarity commented. "I don't think I've ever witnessed anything like that before. The speed, the tension, the exhilaration!"

"The dust, the dirt, the heat and sweat," Applejack coyly reminded Rarity. The white mare bit her lip in response.

"Well, I still enjoyed it as a spectator."

Fluttershy walked down from the stairs herself, followed by another pony.

"So anyway, how long ya stayin' in Canterlot for?"

"Well, not long, actually," she informed the stranger. "I'm just here for my friends, really."

"Ah, tha's nice," the stallion replied. The strange brown-coated, brown-maned colt seemed a bit more interested in Fluttershy than the actual conversation. "So, you like music?"

She nodded. "Yeah... well, these are my friends," she said, arriving in front of Dan and the group.

"Oh, all right," the stallion responded. "Well, it was nice chattin' with ya. Drop by and see us nes time you're in the castle garden!" he turned and left.

Eyes fixated on the ground, Fluttershy walked over to the others.

Eyebrow raised, Twilight asked, "What was that about? Did you meet somepony new?"

The yellow mare nodded, not speaking.

Rainbow hovered over to her. "Were you trying to 'meet' the animals in the Canterlot Gardens again?"

Again, Fluttershy nodded. "But... I only ended up meeting the gardener again."

Applejack grinned. It seemed Dan wasn't the only one who wasn't exactly playing by the rules. "Well, at least ya kept a cool head this time."

"I actually hadn't started looking yet..." Fluttershy admitted. "I was caught before I could even dive into the first bush."

Dan shrugged. "Maybe you should've disguised yourself as a gardener or one of the castle's attendants," he suggested.

Fluttershy perked up. "That might work... thanks, Dan."

"I might be able to help you," Chrys said. "I could transform into you and we could try distracting them."

Fluttershy smiled. They made her feel better about the situation. Even though she hadn't found the animals she had been looking for, she at least had her friends.

"It's okay," Fluttershy smiled softly. "I'm sure if I spend enough time around the castle grounds, they'll warm up to me."

Twilight Sparkle watched the entire interaction, genuinely surprised and for the first time in a long time, happily surprised. While she knew Applejack and the others would be helpful and supportive, she was overjoyed to see Dan and Chrys offer advice as well. Two of her newest friends were finally interacting with her other friends, contributing and helping one another. It was finally starting to seem like Dan and Chrys were part of the group as well.

"Well, I thought the race was most enjoyable," Chrys said, grinning contently. She hadn't even broken a sweat during the competition, possibly because her body was more aerodynamic. "Wouldn't you agree, Dan?"

"Heh," Dan sighed, "Yeah, that was pretty fun. Glad I could make things interesting."

Smiling, they all came together in a group hug. So many differences among them, so many things that could separate them but at that moment, nothing did. They were held together by a strong bond, one of love, caring and understanding. Different points of view, different backgrounds and behaviors, different interests and beliefs, while in many cases caused conflict, in this case, were bolstered by the love they shared for one another. The things that made each of them unique didn't hinder their relationship; they were made stronger by it.

"Got any more fun ideas, Dan?" Pinkie asked.

Dan thought for a moment. "Yes, actually. Lunch."

Lunch, or dinner rather, was served for Dan, Twilight and company in a small, private dining hall in the castle. Prepared by Canterlot's own chefs, Princess Celestia, Luna, Shining Armor and Cadence joined the rest of them at the table while attendants brought out portions of the meal.

A pink Pegasus servant placed a bowl of green veggies in front of Dan. "Caramelized cucumber and carrot salad, sir."

"Can I get ranch with this?"

"Of course, sir."

Adjusting to the Equestrian diet had actually been quite easy for Dan. While many omnivores who regularly indulged in the consumption of meat as often as he had on Earth would be quite remiss at the sudden change, Dan considered it more than a fair trade for not having to deal with the frustrations back home. That, and he found out quickly how well ponies can cook. Fast food was convenient but can also be bland; Dan was happy to have a full range of flavors to experience again even if meat wasn't one of them.

Deep-fried fudge-covered onions(the original 'funions), potato-queso tomato tamales, breaded barbecue beets, parmesan pickle and pepper pasta and sweet and sour soybean and celery sandwiches with extra sauce were among Dan's favorite dishes.

Seated five on each side with Princess Celestia and Luna on opposite ends, the group dug in to their respective dishes. Drinks were poured,- tea, water with lemon, cider for Rainbow Dash, a modified Equestrian adaptation of an Arnold Palmer for Dan called a Barnold Palmer(one-third iced tea, one-third lemonade, one-third cider) and a chocolate milkshake with bananas, whipped cream and a cherry on top for Pinkie Pie. A literal sundae in a glass for the pink mare, she also requested a crazy-bendy straw, as in a straw that is both loopy and bends in any direction.

"I'm so happy all of you could come," Celestia announced. "Our duties make it difficult at times for us all to meet but I'm happy all of you could attend this special occasion."

"I know having a huge party like isn't the normal thing you do for your two year anniversary," Shining began, "but we wanted to see you all, so we figured, why not invite everypony to the castle?"

Cadence nodded. "And it's also sort of the way we both met. At Stablecon in Canterlanta over ten years ago."

Shining chuckled. "Well, we didn't officially met until you started foalsitting Twily."

"But when I saw your band playing, I just knew I had to meet you and I found out you were in Canterlot so..." she trailed off in a lovey-dovey manner.

"Some things are just meant to be," Shining finished. The two nuzzled.

Rarity and Chrys both held their hooves to their hearts. "So romantic," the two said simultaneously, echoing.

Dan and Rainbow Dash both continued eating, only half-paying attention while the others emitted adorable "aw's". None of them noticed Luna's chair and its occupant had mysteriously vanished.

"After dinner, we have a couple things left to do for the festivities tomorrow," Cadence said. "But afterward, I was hoping we could maybe all go out and do something together."

"That sounds like a good idea," Applejack remarked, taking a swig from her mug.

Rarity perked up. "Would there be time for shopping?"

"Or... maybe, to visit the garden?" Fluttershy added.

"Are the Wonderbolts in town?" Rainbow asked, looking around the very room.

Twilight waved a hoof. "Is there anything you need help with for the party?"

"Please everypony," Celestia waved them down. "We'll have plenty of time for everything. And I don't think we'll be needing any help for the celebration. Everything will be taken care of; we all should go out and enjoy ourselves."

"You're coming with us?!" the group asked in unison.

Celestia smiled. "Well, that is, if I'm invited."

A chorus of approval and reassurance began followed by enthusiasm and enthusiastic outing suggestions. Twilight was very happy, overjoyed that she would be spending time with all of her friends, her family and her teacher. Whatever small pain she felt at trying to remember the last time an event like this had occurred(never because it hadn't) was quickly quashed by the excitement of thinking about the evening ahead. She didn't even need to suggest an activity; whatever they decided to do together, Twilight would enjoy.

"Begging your pardon, your majesties," the pegasus attendant interrupted, "there appears to be some error with Master Dan's registration in the castle record; I require just a moment of his time."

"Oh," Celestia said, stopping. Like her former student, Celestia was aware of Dan's patience for such things; she knew he didn't have any. "I'm sure we can get somepony else to take a look at that after-"

"No no, it's all right," Dan raised his hands, having finished his meal, and rose from his seat. "I'll just take care of it now. Something I need to sign?" he asked the attendant. Dan was also aware that others were aware of his impatience.

"Yes sir, it's just right out here," the attendant lowered his head.

"You guys keep planning what we'll do tonight, I'll be back in a minute," he said, following the pegasus out of the room.

"All right, Dan," Twilight said, smiling. It was nice seeing him patient for once. Maybe this vacation would be the start of something new. Of course, she knew how likely that was. So she resolved herself to enjoy the evening ahead and recommended that the group stop by the Canterlot Library at some point tonight.

Dan followed the royal servant into a hallway and around a corner. He was in the depths of the castle somewhere, that much he knew but everything looked so much alike. The doors, the archways, everything was so lavish it seemed to blend in.

"I'm sorry about this; I left the paperwork at the security office just down the hall," the guard apologized without looking over his shoulder.

"It's all right," Dan said. His eyes were fixated on everything else.

The pegasus stopped in front of a smaller door and opened it for Dan. "It's just through here, sir."

Dan raised an eyebrow for a moment at the attendant. The pegasus spoke with the close-eyed mannerisms of one who'd served royalty all their life but something about all this was just on the edge of suspicious. Still, clerical errors did happen, even in Equestria. Not thinking as much as he should've, he stepped through the door.

The hall beyond was just as luxurious as the one he'd just been led through, if not more. However, instead of mostly gold, there were more silver and blue tones in places. The icons and fixtures, the molding on the wall all emblazoned the moon rather than the sun or other elements. Dan marveled at this architecture as well, wondering why there had been such an abrupt change. He took a few steps into the room, looking at everything.

"Okay, what do I have to sign or-"

The pegasus attendant closed the door behind him from the outside.

Dan's eyes went wide. "Hey!" He ran to the door and turned the nob. Of course he knew already; it was locked. This was a trap and he'd fallen for it.

"What's the big idea?! Open up! Let me out of here!" He pulled the door, yanked it but it didn't budge. He tried banging on the door. "Help! Somepony get me out of here!"

The lights high above him flickered, catching his attention. He turned around. The high ceiling made him feel uncomfortable, like danger could be hiding anywhere. There was a massive mural, a painting on the ceiling of Princess Luna with the moon in the center and the expanse of space to the side. This was a corridor of the night.

He turned back to the door, pounding on it. "SOMEPONY!!" he yelled. The lights then went out. The room instantly became pitch black; there were no cracks in the doorway for light to peak through. Dan pressed his back against the door, hoping somepony on the other side had heard him. But not a sound was uttered. He felt his heart hit his throat, he breathed in and out trying to remain calm as nothing but blackness and silence was all around him.

Something happened then. The door he was leaning against disappeared. How he didn't know; he had been pressed against something one moment and then its presence was gone the next like it had dematerialized. Dan nearly had to stop himself from falling over. The floor still seemed to be there at his feet but he turned around to feel the door and felt nothing. The wall was gone.

There was no sound, no light, just Dan alone in the darkness. "Hello? Anypony?" he asked, his voice becoming terrified. The air was cool like he was standing outside. He took a cautious step forward, checking his footing to make sure the floor was still there.

Suddenly, lights appeared behind him, shining off his arms. He turned around to see... well, he didn't know what he saw. Panes, flat planes of some kind like pictures or screens hanging in the darkness. They created a corridor like the one he'd just been in. Stars, cosmic lights and colors hung overhead. It was like he was in a planetarium all of a sudden. The panes didn't illuminate much, not even the floor beneath him.

Did he accidentally step into an observatory or something? Was that it? Had that attendant just left him in the waiting room and he was waiting for him to get back? Maybe he touched something he shouldn't have. All these thoughts swirled around his head but none of them made any sense. Whether out of curiosity or fear he did not know, but Dan stepped forward and began walking down the hall of panes.

The strange floating panes hung at eyelevel to Dan and displayed the same images on both sides. But the image they displayed was... static. Snow, fuzz, signal distortion like from a television set on the wrong channel was displayed. They also produced the sound of static. Dan continued walking down them, examining all of them. Some of them produced pictures through the static, like a broadcast trying to come through.

Looks like they need to adjust their reception, Dan thought to himself. He watched one of the panes for a moment. A picture broke fourth and played for a second:

A balding individual in a yellow collared shirt and tie was leading an individual through a car dealership. "Now, I know it's not much to look at but it gets a full 38 miles to the gallon and if you travel to L.A you know what kind of traffic you can expect."

"You're gonna charge me 2800 dollars for this piece of junk?!" Dan shouted. Well, not the Dan that was watching but the Dan that was apparently in the picture. Dan recognized the video immediately; it was from his own point-of-view, his perspective. It was the day he bought his car from the dealership.

Dan's voice shook. "What... what is this?"

"You know what it is," a voice from behind him spoke, another familiar voice.

He turned around. "Who said that? Show yourself!"

A hooded pony stepped forward from further down the hall. "Hello, Dan."

"Who are you?" Dan demanded from the stranger.

The stranger said nothing but stepped over to the pane Dan had been watching. "Curious, isn't it? I don't know why they're doing this."

"Doing what?! What are you talking about?!"

The hooded pony put a hoof to her chin. "Your memories. I'm not able to read them that easily; it's very hard to make them out."

"My... my memories?" Dan asked. "WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? WHO ARE YOU?!" he screamed.

The stranger pulled back the hood. "I don't know why they're doing this but it's nothing like any other pony's... or any other creatures in Equestria, for that matter. I admit, I'm not my sister but it's still one of the many questions I'd like an answer to."

Dan squinted. The mare was clearly illuminated through the darkness. "You..." He'd seen her before but had forgotten her name. "You were with Princess Celestia. What was your name again?"

"I'm Princess Luna," the mare said. "Princess of the moon and guardian of Equestria at night. Princess Celestia is my older sister."

"Why are you here? Why am I here? WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?! What is all this?!"

The lunar alicorn let a second pass. "Not exactly the Royal Canterlot Voice but I suppose it's no longer used anyway."

Dan walked right up to her. "What are we doing here?" he asked, more curious than enraged.

"I've been watching you, Dan, watching you and my sister's student for a very long time," she said, turning around.

Dan noticed the memory panes still hanging. "I noticed that, I think the question is why?"

"The safety of Equestria is and always shall be my top priority, Dan. You're an interesting subject, not from our world and yet a part of it. But it seems you haven't left everything from the world you're from behind," she informed him, walking further down the hall.

Dan had no choice but to follow her.

"You're not the first human to ever set foot on Equestria but you're the only one who's stayed. It's because of your prolonged stay that we've become interested in you, who you are, where you come from."

"What are you doing with my... my memories?" Dan asked.

"As I said, Equestria's safety is my utmost priority. Please, follow me." What choice did Dan have? He followed. The pair walked past several mirror panes. It seemed like there were dozens, dozens of images and pictures displaying partial visions of his past. Windows to his world only broken.

Luna stopped at one in the back.

"What is this?"

"Please, just watch," she said. "This is the one I've been able to get through the most, the one we're... interested in."

Unlike the others, this one was significantly clearer:

"Chris! Dan! Both of you, settle down back there!" a voice in the video yelled. Dan recognized that voice, too: his history teacher in sixth grade, Mr. Bluffman. "All right, I want you all to turn your textbooks to page three-hundred and forty-five so we can continue where we left off yesterday."

It was a classroom; Dan was sitting at a desk with about four-dozen other students. His best friend Chris was right next to him along with a few others. The picture looked down ad the younger Dan complied with the instruction. He turned his textbook to the described page and the section the class was about to go over. On the right page were two black-and-white pictures: one of three men sitting in chairs somewhere and another of a man in a cap standing on a platform saluting with an out-stretched hand as a crowd marched by. The left page simply held the title in large, bold letters:

"I remember this.... World History. I actually did well in that class," Dan said, recollecting.

Luna stared at the picture, a cold, serious expression on her face. "This portion of your planet's history... is of great concern to us." She turned and walked toward another of the floating memories, Dan followed her.

The next one in line was the same history class but this time, the lights were off. In the classroom, a large projector screen duct taped to the floor displayed black-and-white video images, film clips from World War II. Dan's education had been thorough: his instructors had done their best to make sure students were taught all subjects. Humanity's history, including the violent conflicts and crimes prevalent throughout it had not been spared during his studying.

The projector displayed black-and-white footage from the final days of World War II, the end of the conflict. One clip captured massive a explosion from far away. A huge cloud shot up from the ground like a tree. It grew to the size of a mountain and then expanded outward on top like a puffy, gray umbrella. A mushroom cloud. The video then jumped to other images: destroyed buildings, wreckage, a city transformed into a wasteland. The aftermath.

The memory pane flipped back to the picture of the cloud and froze.

Slowly, Luna turned to Dan. "What is this?"

Dan thought for a moment, trying to remember back. "That's... uh... that's..." the name was on the tip of his tongue. "Hiroshima! That's Hiroshima, the bombing."

Luna's face grew even more serious. "We must make sure this 'hiroshma' never comes to Equestria."

Dan shook his head. "No, Hiroshima's the city, it was bombed. That's the atomic bombing, one of them."

"One of them?" she stepped forward. "There are more of these?"

"No,- I mean," he pinched the bridge of his nose. Was he really going to have to explain this? "That was a bombing, a bomb caused that, the A-bomb, err, atomic bomb."

She looked back at the picture. "One bomb did this?"

"Yeah...," Dan said, looking back into his own memories himself. "It happened a long time ago, before I was even born." He could tell Luna had apparently been shaken up by what she'd seen. Had she seen all of World War II? The Nazi oppression, the holocaust, the Japanese occupations, America's internment of Jap-American civilians, the Disney cartoons? How much of his memories had she seen?

Luna looked down. "I don't know why but I'm not able to read all of your memories, not completely. It seems magic works differently on you for some reason. That's why I brought you here, Dan. We must make sure that nothing like this EVER happens in Equestria."

"Hey," Dan put a hand on her hooded shoulder. "You've got nothing to worry about. There aren't any nuclear bombs here in this world. We've got peace here, part of the reason I love being in Equestria so much."

The princess turned back to him, her face fierce now. "But how did you get here? Why were you summoned here?"

He didn't have an answer for that. "I, I don't know."

"As I said, you're not the first human to be brought to Equestria. Most of the others have come and gone but you stayed. Why?" she gestured outward with her hoof. "The others all had a purpose, some sort of reason for being here and when it was over, they left. But you stayed."

Dan shook his head. "I... I don't know why I'm here. Who else has been summoned?"

"Lawyers, doctors, artists, teachers," she listed quickly. "But we never knew Earth was like this!"

"Calm down," Dan said, smiling. He was starting to have trouble taking her seriously. "I'm not going to start a war."

"You've certainly caused a lot of destruction, more than your fair share since you arrived," she shot back.

He opened his mouth, then closed and thought. She had a point. "Well, I'm not going to build a bomb!"

"How long will it be until a human comes here that does?!" Luna shouted. "What if one of those hirosma-causing things is summoned here? How do we defend ourselves."

"Easy!" Dan exclaimed. "You've got..." Another memory, this one more recent, hit him smack in the face. "Shields..."

Luna picked up on what he was saying right away. She knew he was beginning to put the pieces together. Grabbing her cell phone from her coat pocket, she considered calling the other interested party. Then quickly changed her mind.

"You may have noticed that we've been implementing some new defensive technology lately," Luna said, turning back around. She taped one of the panes and it changed to a blank white screen. "Disappearing magic, the sonic cannon, the platform you encountered on the train and the electric shield are all new inventions we've developed since you've arrived here."

Dan was shocked. "You... you built those things to defend against... me?"

"Against you, against anything that dared threaten Equestria. But there are still many things we can't defend against. For some reason, things from Earth continue to find their way into our world so we MUST be prepared," she pointed a hoof on Dan's chest. "For EVERYTHING. You've only seen a fraction of what we've created so far but with Twilight's help, we should be able to get a complete reading of all your memories and-"

"Wait," he stopped her. "What'd you say about Twilight? She knows about all of this?"

Luna smiled coyly at Dan. "Of course. How do you think we extracted your memories?"

Dan's jaw dropped. "What?" He refused to believe it. "No... no, not Twilight. Not Twilight Sparkle,- she wouldn't do that, she's-"

"A princess and an Equestrian, Dan. She was chosen to lead our kind to greatness, to protect our nation against all threats from the outside..." she turned away, "...and from within."

Dan shook his head. "No, I don't believe you. She wouldn't do that to-"

"HER FRIEND?!!" Luna screamed, her voice echoing through the dark. "Is that what you thought you were to her?!"

"I AM HER FRIEND!!!" Dan screamed back. His fists were now balled; he was done dancing in the dark.

"You're an alien, an invader from a world that knows only disharmony, violence and pain! That's why she helped me copy your memories the first day you passed out on in her living room!"

"NO!!" Dan's voice echoed, louder than Luna's. Tears were beginning to form in his eyes as emotions raged within him. "SHE WOULDN'T DO THAT!"

The dark princess smirked. "You don't believe me?" Her horn glowed. The images all around Dan changed into something else; now their pictures displayed Twilight's house. Dan, fast asleep on the floor glowed under the influence of a spell being cast by a purple unicorn nearby.

"No..." Dan's voice became a whisper. He clutched the sides of one of the panes, his hands running right through the image. He punched it. "No!" the picture replayed. "NO!" The image replayed again. "NO!!" once more. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Dan felt his legs become weak. His knees buckled and he fell to the ground, unable to stand. How could he have let this happen? How could Twilight have done this? He'd been played, used the moment he landed in Equestria and every moment since. Of all the individuals he had met, of all the people, ponies and personalities he had encountered he had never expected something like this from one of his friends. He was used to being taken advantage of, used to being judged, insulted, kicked and beaten, put down, shot down and cut down to size every which way there was but there was one thing he had never anticipated, one thing he wasn't ready for and it had happened to him.

Dan had been betrayed.

He wanted to scream but his throat ached, burned. His teeth were gritted, his fists were balled and he was shaking but not with rage this time. It was an unfamiliar emotion, one he didn't feel often. But like the panes that had displayed his memories, he was able to recall exactly what he was feeling no matter how foreign it felt. He was sad.

The lights kicked on overhead. Dan looked up to see he was in the same hallway he'd been in before. He looked around; he was alone. Luna was nowhere to be seen. He would've almost believed it had all been a dream, wanted to believe it had been his imagination.

"Ha ha ha ha..."

Until he heard Luna's laughter.

"Where is Dan?" Twilight asked. Almost ready to leave, the group was now wondering where their missing member was.

"I don't know. He's been gone quite a while," Chrys commented, looking toward the door to the castle hall.

"Maybe he got lost," Pinkie said. "He could've gotten trapped in one of the walls or the paintings! He could be stuck in alternate dimension where he has to collect gold stars to open doors to fight an evil king and save the princess!"

The room instantaneously became quiet at Pinkie Pie's suggestion. Wide eyes stared at the pink mare, an inquisition of eyeballs.

Standing on her back hooves, she grasped her forelegs behind her back and looked away. "What? It could happen..."

Celestia chuckled, breaking the silence. "You certainly have quite the imagination, Pinkie. But it can be very easy to lose your way in the castle if you're unfamiliar with the layout."

"That's true," Twilight agreed, "but he was accompanied by one of the castle's attendants. I wouldn't think signing something would take so long."

"Maybe we should go look for him," Fluttershy suggested, her voice just loud enough to here.

Twilight nodded. "Good idea. We can find him and then head out together!"

Leading the way, Chrys almost had her hoof on the hallway door when it opened.

"Hey gang!" Dan greeted as he stepped in. "Everything's cleared up. We all ready to go?"

"Oh," Twilight understood. "Well, um, we kind of decided what we were going to do first without you, Dan. I... uh..." she started stammering, realizing they hadn't considered Dan when choosing the evening's activities.

"Oh ho, it's all right, princess," Dan grinned and slapped her on the shoulder. "I'm always up for anything you guys want to do. So, what's first on the agenda?"

Twilight genuinely smiled. What was going on here? Dan seemed enthusiastic and... flexible. What was in that salad? For a split second, she was actually at a loss for words.

"Is there anything you'd like to do while we're here, Dan?" Chrys asked.

Dan chuckled. "Oh no Chrysalis, I'm perfectly fine just hanging out with all of you. Whatever you all decide to do, I'm up for."

Chrys immediately raised an eyebrow. 'Princess'? 'Chrysalis'?

The others smiled eagerly. "Well, I thought our first stop should be downtown," Rarity said, stepping forward to the door. "Of course, I've already designed some outfits for all of us for tomorrow but I do feel an obligation to check in on the latest fashions."

Rainbow sighed heavily. "Haven't we seen enough clothes?"

The unicorn fashion designer didn't even turn around. "Don't be silly, darling."

"It's nice to shop for others and occasionally update the castle wardrobe," Celestia remarked, taking up the rear of the group.

As they proceeded into the hallway, Chrys leaned over to Twilight. "Hey, Twilight?"

"Yes, Chrys?"

"Do you notice anything... strange about Dan?"

Twilight turned to her as they walked. "Yes, he seems to be getting along a lot better. I don't know what's came over him but I'm really happy about it."

"That's just it, Twilight," Chrys whispered. "I think something might have actually come over him."

"What... what do you mean?" Twilight asked, not fully understanding. "You think it might've been some kind of magic?"

"I'm not sure."

Twilight shook her head. "Maybe he's just had a change of heart after meeting the princess. After everything we've been through, all that's happened, finally getting here might've made him more open to things, a bit more flexible."

Chrys raised an eyebrow at Twilight. "Do you really think that?"

Twilight looked away, thinking. "I... I don't know. I- I guess,-"

"Let's find out," Chrys said. She nudged her way to the front where 'Dan' marched alongside Rarity. The other five ponies were busy talking as Chrys tapped Rarity on the shoulder.

"Um, Rarity?"

"Uh, yes?" Rarity asked, startled by Chrys. She still wasn't entirely used to having her around, as were a few others.

"Can I speak to you for a moment over here?"

"Um, sure what is-"

The queen pulled the white unicorn to the side as the others walked past a ways. "You made Dan a new change of clothes when we got in the castle, right?"

"Y-yes, I did," Rarity answered.

"Did you change anything about his clothes? The patterns, stitching, anything?"

"Why, no, I just repaired his old shirt using some restoring magic and threading. It was-"

"What about the logo?" Chrys asked, interrupting. "Did you do anything to the logo?"

"No, no I didn't touch it. I mean, I'm not used to working with human fabrics and I did have to restore a lot of it but it should've come out exactly as it was before," Rarity explained.

Chrys' eyes narrowed. "Thank you, Rarity, I was just curious." She walked forward to quickly rejoin the others.

"Any time," Rarity said nervously, following suit.

"What was that about?" the others turned as Chrys approached. "Something wrong?" Celestia asked.

"Um, no," Chrys said. "Everything's fine, I just had to ask Rarity about some clothes." Technically true, so Applejack's truthdar didn't go off.

"We could get ya some new duds while we're out!" AJ suggested.

"Great, great, that sounds great!" Chrys said, forcing a smile. The other ponies turned around and continued walking through the halls.

They turned a corner and that's when the changeling queen decided to make her move. She edged her way closer to the front of the line to Dan.

"Hey, Dan?"

"Oh, hi Chrysalis! This castle sure is big, isn't it?"

"Yeah," she responded to the overly-cheesy Dan. "I was wondering, did you do something new with your shirt?"

The young man looked down. "Um... no, I don't think so?"

Chrys glared at the emblem. The white letters that spelled JERK were a trademark of Dan's wardrobe, a part of his outfit for as long as she'd known him. Despite the fact they'd been damaged in their previous attempt to enter Canterlot, Rarity had repaired them and last Chrys remembered, they had turned out the same as when he'd last worn them. But now, for some reason she felt she knew, the letters were reversed. Dan's jet-black shirt now spelled KREJ instead.

"Oh, I'm sorry, just checking," Chrys rubbed the back of her neck nonchalantly. "Say, Dan, I was meaning to ask you-"

"Hey, what's the hold up?" Rainbow asked. The group stopped before the two standing in the hallway.

Chrys looked back to the others. Five quizzical faces, plus Twilight's nervous expression stared back at her. Celestia held a small frown but otherwise remained un-phased by what was transpiring. "Oh, nothing, it's just-" She had to think of something, something quick.

"What is it, Chrysalis?" 'Dan' asked.

"I was just... I was just wondering if you had your cell phone on you," Chrys said.

"My... my c-cell phone?" he asked.

"Yes, I was wanting to get my own while we were here in Canterlot and wanted to see what kind of model you were using, Dan."

The human started to look nervous. He looked to the others who stared back at him, seven sets of large pony eyes awaiting his response.

"Uh... um, I..."

"Did you lose your phone somewhere, Dan?" Pinkie asked-suggested.

Chrys shot the pink mare a glare.

"Yes!" Dan quickly answered, slightly relieved. "Yeah, I must've, oh! I forgot it back at the room."

Chrys quirked an eyebrow. "We haven't gone to our rooms, yet."

The biped swallowed hard. "I... I meant back in uh, back the office where I signed that security information. I must've taken out my phone there."

Chrys started walking forward again. "Well, we can go get it before we leave."

"WAIT!" Dan shouted and held his hand out to stop her.

Slowly, Chrys turned back to him. Again, the others looked at him as well.

"I... uh... let's just go without it. I don't want to deal with any security stuff right now. It'll be safe when we get back," he insisted.

"You could get a new one while we're here in Canterlot!" Rarity suggested. "While we're out shopping, of course."

"Great idea! Let's get going," Dan said, turning back around.

"Dan, wait," Chrys stopped him one last time.

Turning to her with his teeth gritted, Dan asked, "What is it nowwwwwww?"

"I think you might've gotten some... dirt, from the chariot race on your shoes," Chrys said, leaning to his feet.

"What?" Dan asked, almost panicking.

"We don't want to get the castle's floor all dirty, now would we?"

"Can we move this along?" Rainbow asked, impatient.

Twilight raised a hoof. "Well, we wouldn't want to get the castle... dirty," she said, trying to help Chrys along.

The changeling queen mouthed the word 'thank you' to the purple mare.

"Please, it'll just take a second," Chrys reached for Dan's shoe.

"Wait! I'll...-I'll get it, I..." quivering, Dan reached down and grasped the cuff of his pant's leg. He closed his eyes, concentrating, hands shaking. He started sweating profusely, seeming to exert himself greatly over the small task.

Chrys smiled. "Is there something wrong... 'Dan'?"

His eyes shot open and he lifted the cuff, revealing his ankle.

Twilight, Celestia, all the ponies gasped except Chrys. She already knew what she was going to see.

"You're just as persistent as he is," 'Dan' remarked, still rolling up his pant's leg. What he'd exposed had been his human leg, or rather, his best impersonation of a human leg that he could perform. As it turned out, his best had actually been quite good: it resembled Dan's pale skin and hair down to the letter but for some odd reason, there was on odd perforation just above the line of the sock he was wearing, a mistake in the disguise he hadn't been able to correct. It was this odd characteristic that revealed who and what he really was. Otherwise, the changeling's plan had been flawless.

Chrys immediately stepped forward. "Who are you? What are you doing here?"

The imposter smirked a sinister grin at her. "What's the matter? Forgot what your own kind looked like?" A burst of green flame enveloped the stranger's body. The ponies including Chrys covered their eyes in the small hallway as the bright flash washed over them.

"CHANGELING!!!!" Pinkie Pie screamed and pointed. Not at Chrys this time but at the creature standing in front of her.

"HERRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" the beast hissed at her. "Your not going to be seeing your friend again!"

Chrys' horn glowed. She advanced on the smaller changeling. "Who are you?! What have you done with Dan?!!"

"Was... was Dan a changeling all along?" Rarity asked, shocked.

"No, Rarity, that's not Dan!" Twilight yelled. "Where's Dan?!"

The changeling grinned back at the others, delighting in their confusion and concern. "The love you have for your little friend..." Closing his eyes, he inhaled through his nostrils, "smells delicious."

"I am Queen Chrysalis, queen of all changelings and mother to the hive!" Chrys' voice boomed in the hallway. "You will tell me what you've done with Dan now!"

The creature turned to chrys and scowled. "You're not my mother!!"

The changeling was instantly lifted off the ground and pressed up against the wall. Chrys, teeth gritted, stepped up to him. "Who are you? Where are your brothers and sisters?! Where's the rest of the horde?!!"

"YOU ARE NOT OUR MOTHER!!" the creature screamed. "You abandoned us, you're not part of the hive now!"

Celestia stepped forward. "What have you done to Dan?" she asked calmly but sternly.

Pinned against the wall still, he smirked at the princess. "He's part of our plan now. Equestria will be ours, and then Earth will follow. All of you false rulers shall bow before the true king of Equestria!"

"The... true king...?" Twilight repeated. "What do you mean?"

"Why should I spoil your surprise? You'll all see,- a new Equestria will rise from the ashes of the old one. All of you usurpers who claimed the throne will be put in your places! Why should I spoil your surprise?" the changeling cackled.

Rainbow Dash hovered over to the intruder. "Listen buddy, you better tell us where all your little friends are or we're gonna-"

"Rainbow," Applejack pulled her friend to the ground. "Calm down, now. He ain't going anywhere."

"Heh," the changeling laughed. "That's where you're wrong." The others looked back to him only too late. Another flash enveloped the changeling, blinding Chrys and causing her to release her magical grip for a moment. When they looked back, the changeling was gone.

"Where'd he go? What happened?" Rainbow asked, looking around.

"Did he just teleport?" Fluttershy asked.

"No," Twilight answered, looking around. "That was a disappearing spell."

"Disappearing magic?" Rarity asked. "You mean like-"

"Trixie."

Chrys' eyes were locked on the ground, her head swimming in questions. A changeling, another changeling was here in Canterlot causing harm. She still hadn't found out what happened to her horde so long ago... was that really one of her children? Why hadn't he recognized her? Why hadn't she recognized him? For some reason, she hadn't felt a connection to the other creature, her supposed offspring. When she'd held him, all she'd been concerned with was Dan. What did any of this mean?

Twilight, noticing Chrys' pain, walked over to her. "Chrys..."

"I'm fine," she declared. "I... I don't know what... who, that was. We need to find Dan."

"How are we going to do that?" Pinkie asked. "The castle's huge!"

Celestia looked around. "Where is Luna?"

The others looked around, just now realizing the princess of the night was gone.

"I don't know," Twilight said, "but I think I know of a way we can find Dan."

"What is that, Twilight?" Chrys asked.

"We'll trace his cell phone."

"Where are you?!" Dan demanded. "What's the point of all of this?!" Running over to the door, he yanked at the knob. Still locked in. "Let me out of here!!"

"Your tenacity is impressive," Luna's disembodied voice said. "You wanted to have a purpose here? Help Equestria? Now you can."

"What are you talking about? What are you going to do with my memories?!!"

"Everything." The door on the opposite side of the room creaked open. Dan turned around to see Luna just inside.

"What is that supposed to mean?!" Dan raged.

Luna smiled back at him. "You want answers, follow me."

"I'm not following you anywhere!" he stepped forward. "You tell me what's going on right now or I'll-"

Luna shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Always so difficult."

A trapdoor opened at Dan's feet.

"AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!" he screamed as he fell. The shaft was pitch black but on his way down, it started to slope. It turned into a shoot with the momentum of the fall propelling him through a dark tunnel of some kind. Panicking, all he could do was scream as it spat him out into some kind of lower level.

"Aughhfff!" he hit the ground. Unlike the room he was just in, the floor here wasn't carpet; it was stone. Not carved or shaped stone but rocky, bumpy like he was in a cave. As he stood himself up, he was relieved to see the room was at least lit. Consciously, he checked his pocket for his cell phone. He realized he was completely at Luna's mercy but he didn't intend for that to be for long. The dark princess might be in control for now but there were things about him she didn't know, things he could use to his advantage.

The cave was lit by luminescent crystals all around him. Different colors, different sizes of crystal stalactites and stalagmites jutted out from the sides like spears erupting from the ground. He walked forward, careful that he didn't accidentally step on another trapdoor.

"Like nothing you've ever seen on Earth, correct?" Luna's voice asked. There was something different about it; it was less in his ear and more echoing off the walls like an intercom. "Beautiful, unique, powerful. Like everything else in our world. It's why we need what you know, Dan. To protect what is ours."

"You're talking nonsense!" Dan shouted, his voice echoing off the walls.

"What would happen if Earth's weapons were used here? Would our world be able to survive? Would our world be corrupted?"

Dan continued walking, following the crystals through the cave. Eventually, he came to something new: a wall. Well, not a wall exactly but a massive door in the cave, made of solid, gray steel.

"We've tested our magic, energy shields and all manner of defenses against similar effects to what we've seen in your memories. Isolated simulations performed in the Crystal Empire to see if our spells could stand up to the effects of a bomb."

"And?" Dan asked. Looking over the door, there didn't seem to be any way to open it. Either way, he had a feeling he wouldn't like what was behind it but was going to see it anyway.

"They all failed. We've come to the conclusion our magic isn't yet powerful enough to withstand the destructive force... or the aftermath of such a weapon. Which is why we have only one defense remaining."

"And that is?"

The door in front of Dan shook. Sirens began to wail and a ringing sound emitted from the door's sides. A split appeared vertical down the middle and began to pull back into the room beyond. The giant door opened.

The room beyond was massive, circular. The ceiling was higher than the tunnel he'd just been in and there were only a few crystals. Instead, light poured down from several fluorescent lamps that hung from the ceiling.

But Dan noticed none of these details; his unblinking attention was immediately drawn to what occupied the center of the room.

"What... is that?"

"Equestria's defense, Dan. Our deterrent."

Taking up most of the space in the room was what looked like a massive statue. The size of a building, it had a flower vase-shaped body with four large arms attached to the rim at the top that hung down over the sides. Perched at the top of the vase was the head of the statue; a pony's head, the bottom half obscured by the rim of the container just enough so the eyes could see over. Finally, a horn protruded from the head just below a steely-looking mane that nearly touched the ceiling.

To Dan, the thing looked like a giant metal pony peaking its head out of a colossal slim jar, its legs sticking out of it and nearly reaching the ground. It looked to be made of the same material that flying thing on the train was made out of, painted white with yellow streaks up its sides. Whatever the contraption was, it seemed to be watching Dan with a pair of glowing, red, narrow eyes as he entered.

"This is what we've developed to counter the destructive power of humans: a weapon capable of delivering the same level of annihilation wherever, whenever.

Dan's jaw hung open. "You built a giant pony robot?!!"

"We call it Magic Gear."

The massive machine shifted, rotating its hooves around. Electricity surged around its horn making a crackling noise.

"You built a giant pony robot?" Dan repeated, dumbfounded.

"We did, some of us," Luna said. Her voice sounded like it was behind him now. Dan turned to see her behind the doorway, a pink energy shield separating her from him.

Dan turned back around to the menacing machine. "That... that's pretty amazing."

"What?" Luna asked, her turn to be surprised.

"I'm impressed. Yes, a giant robot would be the perfect defense against all sorts of things. Monsters, ninjas, tanks,- you can't really beat just a really big robot!" Dan marveled at the machine.

Luna smiled. "I'm happy you approve. It'll make it easier for you to test it."

"What?" Dan asked, twisting back.

"In order to fine-tune its full capabilities, we have to test it against all manner of threats. Including you," Luna said.

"I don't like where this is going..."

Luna's face grew stern again. "ROOK is designed to be the perfect defense system. It can counter any threat and respond with equal force on any level, any where. Completely autonomous, A.I-controlled and loyal to the royal court, it's the perfect defense. With a ROOK in every castle, not a soul will dare dream of attacking Equestria for fear of nuclear retaliation."

Dan's jaw dropped. "Wait... what can this thing do?"

The princess began pacing. "We researched for months trying to duplicate the power we saw in your dreams. Using magic, we were able to recreate the effects and from that, we were able to design and test a new type of magic never seen before. We created other spells in the process but eventually, we were able to make a spell cause the same effects from your memories."

"No... you're not telling me-"

"In order to defend ourselves from the threat of this bomb, we created the first ever Equestrian nuclear equivalent. A spell that took the power of the sun and concentrated it into a single blast that covered the same radius as our strongest shield spells. We armed ROOK with the very first nuclear spell to counter the threat of the nuclear bomb," Luna explained. "We call it a sword spell."

Dan stepped right up against the energy shield separating him from Luna. "You mean... you ACTUALLY created a spell that causes a nuclear explosion?!"

Luna nodded. "It's not really a magic spell in the usual sense; it can't be conjured by a living creature. But by combining and storing different types of magic in specialized crystals, that magic can be released it great quantities. Essentially, it produces a city-encompassing shield spell but instead of expelling whatever is threatening the inside, it destroys everything in its path, leaving only ruin in its wake."

"I... it... you..." Dan stammered in disbelief. "You couldn't make a bomb yourself so you... you built some kind of megaspell..."

"Fighting fire with fire, as they say," Luna surmised.

"That... that's insane!" Dan shouted. "You're worried about nuclear bombs being transported to Equestria so you BUILT one yourself?! That doesn't make any sense!"

"It's the only way we could-"

Dan pointed to the ceiling, to the castle above them. "You JUST SAID you were afraid of nukes being sent to Equestria and so you MADE one! In Equestria! That is- I don't even... so much..." he didn't have the energy to shake with fury. He didn't know what to feel; he wasn't exactly angry more so that he was just in disbelief. It was happening; Equestria was making the same mistakes as Earth. And it had started the moment he'd arrived there.

"Enough," Luna stomped. "This is our deterrent. We won't ever need to use it once we've demonstrated its power."

"Demonstrated?!" Dan screeched. "You can't launch a nuke! Do you know how much fallout Equestria would see if a nuke was actually used here?!"

Luna's expression was one of grim confidence. "As a matter of fact, we do. But that's not what I meant by a demonstration."

"Then what did you mean?"

"You're a very tenacious individual, Dan. You destroyed our sentry on the train, ruined most of main street and even bypassed our electric energy shield. You've demonstrated great resourcefulness and endurance on all of our tests so far, overcome every obstacle we put in your way."

Dan narrowed his own eyes at the princess. "It was all... you?"

Ignoring his question, she continued, "In order to demonstrate ROOK's full capabilities, you will fight it. The entire sequence will be recorded from the moment you attack to the moment you are defeated. When you are beaten, we will send you back to Earth along with that lawyer and a recording of the battle as a warning to the rest of humanity: Equestria is not to be trifled with. If you attack us, we will retaliate."

"You're insane," Dan said. "And you're out of luck. I'm not fighting that thing so you'll never get your combat data... and what lawyer?"

"You don't have a choice," Luna added calmly, pulling a walkie-talkie from her cloak pocket. "Begin offense scenario D-5."

"Acknowledged." Behind Dan, the robot's massive legs rotated again, mechanical gears whirring as the machine entered an offensive posture. Its twin eyes locked on to the small biped. "Target acquired."

"Better run, Dan," Luna said in a sinisterly gleeful tone.

"Why?" Dan asked, hands on his hips. "That thing's stationary, right? So if don't move, it can't attack me."

"Wouldn't be so sure about that..."

From the neck of the base, four spikes flared and launched from the vase. Needles roughly the size of the crystals Dan saw in the cave before, they raced towards his position propelled by rockets.

"Why is it always missiles?" Dan asked himself. Just before the ballistics hit him, he jumped out of the way, lunging left. He turned the lunge into a dash, continuing to run as the missiles impacted one after the other behind him.

Luna watched the fireworks safely from behind the shield. The explosion from each blast sent heat outward, fireballs that obscured her vision of the fight before quickly dissipating. Dan had to keep running to avoid the flames while Luna was completely safe. While the force of the missiles didn't pass through the energy barrier between her and the room, it did travel through the rocks making them shake a good ways. But to be honest, it only added to her excitement.

The missiles ROOK launched were quickly replenished from its internal supply. In the meantime, the robot continued tracking Dan and launched another flurry of lethal rockets.

"AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUHHHHHHHH!!!" Continuing to run along the length of the wall, missile after missile exploded behind him. While a sophisticated defense system, ROOK still took time to understand its opponent. It launched one homing explosive after the other, rocking the cavern chamber and keeping Dan on the move. Quickly calculating Dan's movement pattern, ROOK then fired a missile to where the biped was about to run.

Keeping an eye on the machine, Dan stopped and ran in the opposite direction through the clearing smoke of the last rocket.

"Don't try to make this too easy, now," the princess called at her test subject.

The missiles stopped momentarily as Dan reversed course. Obscured by the thrown-up smoke of the last explosion, the robot temporarily lost site of him. Grabbing his knees, Dan tried to catch his breath but also managed to inhale some of the smoke.

"How do you... expect me to fight... this thing?" Dan asked Luna between panted breaths.

"I'm not," was Luna's answer. "ROOK's resistant to all forms of weaponry, even magic. It's been programmed with all the information we could gather, including your memories. But as that data is incomplete, we decided we could learn a lot more if we tested it in combat against you."

"This thing's gonna kill me!" Dan screamed, dodging another missile.

"You've been blown up before," Luna stated.

"That was different! Those were mostly fireworks and I was wearing armor!"

"Hmm," Luna tapped her chin, "I might consider adding a fireworks display to the arsenal... perhaps later. You should probably keep running."

Three more missiles flew towards him. Two struck the ground behind him while the third soared past and hit the wall. Dan shielded his face with his elbows as dirt was thrown up around him. Chunks of rock and crystal rained down from the ceiling. Picking one up, Dan hurled it as hard as he could at the giant robot.

The stone didn't even hit the chassis; an invisible shield materialized and intercepted the rock, electrifying it and then propelling it across the room as it bounced off.

"Not again..."

Luna chuckled. "And this time, the shield covers the whole thing, Dan."

"You're quite thorough, aren't you?" Dan remarked. Two more missiles flew at him. Rather than dodging left or right, Dan dove forward. The two rockets exploded behind him, covering him with smoke as he rolled. More debris fell down from the ceiling as tremors shook the chamber.

Flat on his stomach, Dan looked up as the smoke cleared. His assailant remained immobile, a massive pillar he couldn't escape or destroy. It watched him with those same menacing, red eyes. How long could he hold out against the constant barrage? Was it even worth it to stand? Dan continued to watch the mech, both looking for something, a weak spot, a flaw, anything he could exploit. But it just watched him back.

One of the lamps flickered off and detached from the ceiling. It smashed on the ground just behind and to the right of ROOK. Dan looked up at the ceiling. Rocks fell on ROOK from above; like the one Dan threw, they sparked and bounced harmlessly off the shield.

"ROOK is impervious to damage!" Luna shouted proudly. "Even if you found a way to direct its own weapons back at it, the energy shield would just reflect it."

It was then Dan noticed something else; the rocks pelting ROOK's shield created indents. He remembered the shield he'd tried to get through in front of the castle, the way he bounced off it. Magical barriers seemed to work like that in Equestria- they behaved like bubbles rather than solid walls. Their surfaces were malleable.

Dan scrambled back to his feet. A rocket spiraled at him, straight down this time. He broke into a run again, narrowly evading the blast. Again, the chamber shook a bit. The lamps hanging overhead wavered and a chunk of crystal landed just a few feet away from Dan. The size of a boulder, Dan hid behind it for a second.

"LUNA!!" Dan yelled. "You've got to stop this!! The whole cave will collapse!"

"Don't worry; you'll have lost long before that!" Luna assured him.

Princess Luna officially made Dan's list along with her mechanized contraption assaulting him. He was done playing around, unfortunately, so was ROOK. A flurry of five missiles swarmed to the chunk of magenta crystal Dan hid behind. Dan jumped out of the way just as the rock was consumed by the fireball.

Larger rocks fell from the ceiling. Dan had to dodge those two, looking up as he ran, trying to get out of the way as they pierced the ground around him. Now the question became what would finish him first; rocks or rockets?

As if to almost answer his question, a larger boulder smashed into the ground. Shards of crystal and another lamp rained down with it, scattering shards of glass and gem between Dan and ROOK. Looking at the rock, an idea came to Dan. He climbed.

A missile collided with the side of the boulder but Dan kept his grip as he climbed. Carefully, he reached the top of the stone pillar, relieved that it was conveniently flat and stable on the ground.

"You're not going to get away, Dan. There's no hiding once ROOK has you in its sights."

Dan ignored Luna's taunting and steadied himself on his rocky perch. Another missile flew at him. This time, he could only dodge one way: up.

Just before the explosive hit, Dan jumped. He grabbed on to one of the hanging lamps and immediately swung. A missile flew past him and collided with the roof above him. Focusing on the next lamp, Dan swung in its direction and jumped. The lamp he released from dislodged and fell from the ground just as he grasped the other.

He didn't think about how risky this was but Luna did. She watched as the pudgy biped nimbly swung himself from light to light, getting closer to ROOK. Dan was actually higher than ROOK, over its head but still well within its firing range. Luna narrowed her eyes, trying to see what he was doing. The machine didn't have any blind spots in its targeting system; there was only so long Dan could dodge. She hadn't anticipated this but maybe it would give ROOK the perfect opportunity to test out its melee defenses if he got close enough.

Dan swung from lamp to lamp as missiles whizzed past him and hit the ceiling. More chunks of debris showered the ground far below him. All he had to do was get closer. Just over the edge of the shield now, Dan looked at the ceiling directly above ROOK. It was lined up almost perfectly. Dan jumped to another lamp and started swinging it as before, moving it back and fourth to propel him to the next one.

"WOAH!" Dan yelped. ROOK reached up with massive hoof and swatted at him, just barely missing. Looking down, Dan saw the robot's massive head looking back up at him. Like a massive, angry mare coiled in an umbrella stand. It raised both hooves above its head.

Dan scrambled to climb the lamp's cable. He got on top, grasping the chord just as twin metal hooves clapped the disk-shaped light fixture underneath. The lamp exploded, sparks flew everywhere as Dan clung to the cable.

Another missile flew past Dan and exploded, narrowly missing him. ROOK pulled back its hoof and prepared to swing at Dan like a piñata.

Using the chord like a rope, Dan swung and jumped on the robot's leg, jumping off it again to grab the next lamp behind it. Lungs filled with smoke, or fluid, Dan couldn't tell which, he exhaled as he hung from the center light.

The robot looked straight up at him now. It raised both of its legs high above it and prepared to grab Dan just as before. Dan climbed again, shaking as the bulb beneath him was yanked off. He kept climbing all the way up to the ceiling. If Dan's gym teacher had seen this, he would've been impressed.

Luna however, was not. "Not bad for only two legs but not good enough! Face it Dan, there's nothing ROOK can't hit!"

"That's what I'm counting on!" Dan shouted.

"What?!"

The robot fired a flurry of missiles straight up, right at Dan's position. As they raced towards him, Dan let go of the cable.

"GREAAAAAAAAAAGHH!!" He hit the shield and tumbled off of it. Fortunately, being electrocuted so many times recently, he barely felt the shocks. The missiles exploded where Dan had been hanging, shaking the ceiling violently.

"Hey Luna?" Dan asked, on his hands and knees on the ground.

"What?" the princess asked, annoyed.

Dan looked back at ROOK. "You didn't happen to equip that thing with an umbrella, did you?"

"What does that mean?"

The machine itself changed its expression to a raised-eyebrow look at Dan. The young human smiled back and pointed to the ceiling.

Slightly perplexed by its opponent, ROOK turned its gaze to the ceiling just in time to see an enormous slab of crystal fall on top of it.

Luna's own expression changed from confusion to horror; she had been correct,- ROOK's electro-shield was impenetrable. Unfortunately, ROOK was not. The slab of purple crystal, too heavy to simply be repelled by the shield pressed down on it causing the bubble to expand outward. The bubble instantly turned from dome to disk as the weight smashed the barrier against ROOK itself.

This alone wouldn't have been able to damage the robot. But as the bubble touched its horn, the electricity from the shield began to surge through ROOK itself, shocking the mech and causing its eyes to go wide in a simulation of pain and surprise. Still, the damage was light and largely superficial. Until the electricity ignited the reloaded missiles on its neckline.

Explosions erupted all around the mech's head sending debris outward in all directions. The shield collapsed and the crystal fell upon the robot, knocking it over in a smoking heap.

Dusting himself off, Dan stood. "Princess, about your 'giant nuclear robot pony defense' plan, I don't think it's doing that well. It looks like you're off to a bit of a rocky start."

"YOU!!" The energy shield in front of the room lowered, Luna flew over and pounced on him, enraged. "What have you done?!"

Dan chuckled. "I hope you don't find this defeat too... crushing."

The princess threw herself off of him. "No matter... we can rebuild. We'll know better next time, we'll build a better shield. But we still need a demonstration..."

"What?" Dan asked, pulling himself up. "What're you doing?"

"If one defensive platform isn't enough, we'll just have to build more of them. In the meantime, Earth must learn to respect Equestria. I might as well finish this myself," she strode over to the robot.

"What are you talking about?!"

"I can salvage the horn," Luna said, picking her way through the rubble. "With it, I'll go to Earth and detonate a sword spell in front of all humanity. Then they'll see we can't be pushed around!"

"No! Luna, you can't do this!" Dan shouted, running to follow her.

"I am a princess of Equestria! I will do whatever it takes to protect my subjects!"

"You're not protecting anypony but blowing up a bomb! You'll just wind up starting a war between Equestria and Earth!"

She didn't even look back at him. "I don't expect you to understand... you're not a pony, you weren't even born here."

"That doesn't matter!" Dan yelled. "This isn't what anypony would want, this isn't what Twilight-"

Luna turned around. "HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT TWILIGHT WOULD WANT?!!" she screamed at him, her voice shaking the chamber. "How do you know ANYTHING about Twilight?!!!"

"Because!" Dan shouted back. "I'm her friend and I-"

"YOU ARE NOT HER FRIEND!!" Luna screamed again. Dan recoiled as she advanced upon him. "You don't know ANYTHING about her, you don't know what kind of sacrifices she's made to protect our world! YOU DON'T KNOW-"

"WHAT SHE DID TO YOU?!!" Dan screamed. "What her sister did to you? What all of her friends went through to stop you?!!!"

Luna recoiled, stunned by Dan's words. Rocks rained down from the ceiling. The last of the lamps flicked off and fell. The room was now nearly pitch black but the shaking continued. The cave was collapsing.

"Twilight told me EVERYTHING! She told me about how you were imprisoned in the moon for a thousand years, how you came back and tried to keep Equestria in the dark and how she and her friends defeated you!"

The princess pressed herself up against a rock, now unsure of everything. "But... why... why would she tell you?"

Dan walked right up to her. "BECAUSE I'M HER FRIEND!!"

The shaking continued, the floor began to vibrate as more of the ceiling fell apart.

"You don't think I'm her friend?!" Dan shouted, grabbing hold of Luna. "Look into my mind! Look into my memories since I've been here!!"

"I... I..." Luna stammered.

Dan shook her. "DO IT! Look into my memories! Look into everything I've done with Twilight and her friends since arriving here! DO IT NOW!!"

"I..." Luna twitched, feeling numb.

"DO IT!!" Dan shook her harder. "DO IT NOW! DO YOU HEAR ME?! LOOK INTO MY MIND!! DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Luna's eyes turned bright white...

She snapped back, her eyes returning to normal. "You..." She was practically mesmerized by her revelation.

Dan looked up as more rocks fell from the ceiling. The cave was about to collapse on top of them.

"You are her friend," Luna realized.

"Yes," Dan said, his voice straining. "You've got to believe me- she wouldn't want this. Earth, humanity, everyone and everypony, we've all made a lot of mistakes, Luna. We learn from them and we pass on this knowledge. Please... trust me. Trust Twilight. Trust your friends."

"My... friends..." Luna muttered. Dan's eyes shot up as the top of the cave finally let loose. The walls caved in and boulders fell from the ceiling. In the darkness as the two were about to be crushed, Luna's horn glowed.

The sun was setting as Twilight, Chrys and the group entered the castle gardens. Twilight led the way, levitating her cell phone out in front of her as she galloped.

"This is where his phone's signal is coming from," Twilight said, tapping the screen. "But where's Dan?"

"Dan? Dan!" Chrys yelled out. But there was no answer; the garden was empty aside from the eight mares. Rainbow Dash and the other mane 6 save Twilight began shouting his name and looking for him.

"Maybe another one of them changelings nabbed him," Applejack theorized. Chrys turned to her. "Ah, uh, ah mean, one of them other changelings."

Chrys nodded. "It's all right; I know what you meant." She was honestly still shaken about that ordeal but did her best not to show it, not to think about it. Finding Dan was important right now. The status of the other members of her species would have to wait until later; helping her friends was the top priority.

"You see anything from up there, Dashie?" Pinkie called.

Squinting her eyes high above, Rainbow scanned the area. "No... and it's gonna be too dark soon to see anything from up here!"

"You would know the castle grounds better than any of us, your majesty," Rarity said to Celestia. "Are there any hidden passageways out here, secret tunnels of any kind in the garden?"

"The castle holds many secrets," Celestia answered, "it's been rebuilt and remodeled many times. Even I'm not fully aware of all that is concealed within the walls."

"I hope he's not lost somewhere in the labyrinth," Rarity commented, remembering the last time she and her friends were looking for something on the grounds.

Twilight looked around. There were many places to check. Sculptures made of marble and grass lined the walkways while bushes and other ornamental horticulture and architecture created throughout the gardens. It was almost a maze of its own and they weren't even in the castle labyrinth yet. The trees provided canopy in some places while beds of flowers dotted empty spaces. If Dan was incapacitated and silenced, he could easily be hidden in any of these places. It would take hours to search everywhere.

"Hey, where's Fluttershy?" AJ asked.

Searching the area, the rest of the group just now noticed the absence of their yellow friend. "Fluttershy!" Twilight shouted.

"Don't tell me she got lost too," Rainbow Dash said, hovering near the ground.

"I'm over here," Fluttershy's voice whispered. Following the sound, the group walked around a hedge to see Fluttershy comforting a large group of fauna.

"I think something might've frightened them..." In front of her, a pair of squirrels, an ice fox, a swan, an iguana, a bear and a myriad of smaller birds all held each other on the grass.

"Fluttershy, this ain't no time to be messin' with the castle's critters," Applejack chastised. The others were about to turn and walk away when Twilight stopped them.

"Wait," Twilight said, "this might tell us what happened to Dan!"

Just as Twilight said that, the ground shook. The animals clinging to Fluttershy clutched her tighter. She comforted them and slowly, the quake subsided.

"What was that?" Chrys asked. The ground shook again in response.

"My... MY TAIL IS TWITCHING!!" Pinkie shouted.

Every member of the group immediately looked up, the immediate response to the notification of Pinkie's Pinkie Sense. But the only thing above them was the sky. The ground continued shaking in violent shocks.

"Nothing's falling!" Rainbow said.

"No! Something IS falling!"

The seven other mares turned back to Pinkie to see her with her ear on the ground. "Something's going to fall! If we don't move, I think it might be us!" The shocks continued, finally making it hard to stand.

"MOVE! NOW!" Twilight yelled. "Everypony off the ground!!" Springing into action, Fluttershy took to the air with her menagerie of animals. Celestia grabbed Rarity and Applejack while Chrys took Pinkie and Twilight.

The eight ponies got off the ground moments before earth started collapsing inward before them. From the center of the garden, the land began to dip like a sinkhole opening up. The green sank into earth, taking with it all manner of floral artwork and trees along with it. Almost a quarter of the yard caved in right in front of them.

"What just happened?" Celestia asked.

"Is it over?" Rainbow looked around. The shocks immediately subsided. A cloud of dust and dirt covered the garden, obscuring their vision. The group landed on the steps of the castle carefully.

A flash light burst out before them, a bright light in the fog.

"What? What now?!" Rainbow yelled, covering her eyes with a hoof.

Two figures appeared in front of them amidst the rolling dust.

"It's Dan and Luna!" Pinkie pointed.

The seven mares rushed to their sides. "Where were both of you? What happened?"

Dan remained silent. Not even bothering to brush himself off, he looked at Luna who shied away from his gaze. The young man, appearing livid, then turned a glare at Princess Celestia. "Your sister went crazy."

The ponies all were immediately shocked at his statement. Celestia stepped forward. "What?"

"Luna kidnapped me and made me fight a giant robot underground. I NEARLY GOT BLOWN UP, CRUSHED, SQUASHED AND IMPALED BY A GIANT ROBOT!!"

"Luna kidnapped you?!" Twilight exasperatedly asked.

"Why would the princess kidnap Dan?" Rarity asked in disbelief.

"Oh, thanks for focusing in on the IMPORTANT ISSUE GUYS!" Dan threw his hands up.

Celestia stepped forward. "Luna, is this true?"

The princess of the night's head was lowered before her older sister, a stance she had adopted many times before. Like all those times before, all she felt was her own shame, guilt and regret. "Yes, sister."

The ponies gasped. Luna's head dipped a bit lower as tears formed in her eyes. What she had done was now known.

Celestia lowered her own head to try and meet her sister's eyes. "Why did you do this?"

"I... I..." she couldn't find the words.

"And you didn't know about this?" Dan asked Twilight and the others. "She showed me my OWN memories. According to Luna, you've been reading my mind since I got here!"

"I, no, Dan," Twilight said. "I didn't know about any of this."

"Really?" Dan stepped forward, "So that first day, when I passed out in your living room, what was that spell you cast on me? You haven't been casting any spells on me behind my back I'm not aware of?"

"No, Dan," Twilight answered, coming closer to him. "That spell I cast when you feinted was a levitation spell. I carried you up to the guest room until you woke up. That's the only spell I used on you that day."

"Oh," Dan said, nodding. "Well, that explains it. I knew I could trust you, Twilight," he said, rubbing her mane. The purple mare closed her eyes and the two smiled.

Tears descended down Luna's face and hit the ground at her hooves. "I'm so... I'm so sorry. You really are friends, real friends."

"Sister, did you read Dan's thoughts?" Celestia asked.

Luna nodded. "I saw... so much destruction. The world he comes from is so violent, he was so violent. I couldn't believe Twilight would ever let him around her... I thought he might have corrupted her somehow."

"We can all be afraid of things we don't understand, um, your majesty," Rarity offered, stepping forward.

"I didn't understand Pinkie's Pinkie Sense when I first met her," Twilight said. "But even then, she was still my friend even if there was something about her I couldn't explain."

Pinkie gave a wide grin. "There's a LOT even I don't know about me! Finding out is fun!"

"When Chrys first came to live with me, I was worried she might still be evil like she was before. But after I got to know her, I realized she changed," Twilight put a hoof on the changeling's shoulder. Chrys blushed in response. "Sometimes we don't know everything about our friends. But if we're honest, open and supportive, there's never a reason to keep secrets from one another."

Celestia practically had tears in her own eyes. "That was beautiful. Is this what happens when you write me letters?"

Twilight nodded.

"Yep. Every week!" Pinkie affirmed.

Luna continued crying as she nodded in agreement. "I see that now... I'm so sorry, everypony," she said, looking up. "I... I don't deserve to be your friend."

"Don't go getting all distraught now," Dan said, folding his arms. "You saw Earth's more violent history through my memories and got freaked out. I would've been the same way if I saw dragons and Ursas and hydras for the first time."

"I think I may have gotten a little more than 'freaked out'," Luna admitted. "I built a robot, abducted you, made you battle it..."

"Wait," Applejack said, "So you weren't kiddin' about the giant robot part?"

The ponies all looked at Luna. The princess shook her head. The ground shook as another portion of the ground crumbled at the edge of the hole.

"It's under control," Dan assured them. "I fought the thing and crushed it with the ceiling."

"Really?" Chrys asked. "You fought a giant robot?"

"He did," Luna said. "I developed it to be unbeatable but somehow, Dan-" the ground shook again, one loud, vibrating punctuation.

Dan grinned. "I beat it single-handedly." Another shock marked the period of his sentence. "AND it even had one of those electro-forcefield things like the castle was surrounded by."

The ground shook again. The ponies backed away from the castle steps.

"Um, Dan?" Twilight asked, concerned.

Hands on his hips proudly, Dan continued. "I didn't even have any weapons at my disposal. Nothing but my own two hands, trapped in an underground cavern, just me and a giant killer death machine." The ground shook a final time and a large shadow cast itself on Dan.

"Dan?!"

"Yes, Twilight?" Dan asked, still grinning.

"Do you think you could beat the robot again?"

"Why?" Dan asked, confused. Opening his eyes, he noticed the massive shadow being cast over him. Turning around, Dan caught something blocking his view of the setting sun on the other side of the sink hole.

"Because I think it's ready for round two," Twilight remarked.

Pinkie pointed, screamed and started to run. "GIANT PONY ROBOT!!!!!!"

Supported by four steel legs, the massive mechanized equine climbed out of the hole in the middle of garden on the opposite side of Dan and the others. Shaking itself off, it placed two massive hooves on either side of its head and twisted, rotating its cranium so it was no longer backwards. "GRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG!!"

Section 2: Robot Unicorn Attack on Titanfall

"What?" Dan asked in disbelief. "No, it can't be! I BLEW THAT THING UP! AND CRUSHED IT! THAT'S NOT THE SAME ONE!"

Dan was correct; as he exclaimed, the Magic Gear had somehow converted itself from a stationary vase-shaped tower to a that of a unicorn filly. Albeit a unicorn filly approximately three stories tall.

"The Magic Gear was designed so it could transform to strike," Luna said. "It's gone into attack sequence now, KNIGHT-mode."

Dan stomped the ground angrily. "You built a TRANSFORMER?!!" he asked through gritted teeth.

"It was necessary for us to fully anticipate all-"

"AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH!!!" Dan yelled in frustration.

"Wait," Chrys held up a hoof, "didn't you say Luna controlled the robot? Can't she just turn it off?"

"That's right! It responded to your commands before!" Dan exclaimed.

The group exhaled a unanimous sigh of relief. "That's good to hear," Twilight remarked.

Luna nodded. "I'm deeply sorry about all of this; please, let me take care of it." The princess of the night took off immediately, flying over the hole in the ground.

"See Dan?" Twilight grabbed his arm with a hoof. "Princess Luna's got it. It's going to be fine, now."

The human wiped his forehead. "I'm just happy we don't have to do things the hard way for once."

"Pinkie! It's okay- no giant robot fight!" Rainbow called into the castle behind them. "You can come back now!"

The blue alicorn was easily dwarfed in the shadow of the metal monstrosity as she approached. Although it had only moments ago been crushed under tons of rock and crystal, the mech looked no worse for wear. Its metallic white body bore no dents or scratches and the yellow stripe that ran down its side reflected some of the sun's light. There was no visible damage it had sustained from horn to tail. Like an animal in a new environment, the Gear scanned its huge, glowing-red optical arrays over the castle grounds. It noticed Luna as she flew towards it.

The princess hovered in front of it. "Stand down! Conditions A-1 all clear!"

The robot's eyes immediately switched off. The mech powered down, lowering its head as its systems went offline. Across the newly-formed crater, Dan and the other ponies cheered.

Luna looked back at them and smiled. While even making the robot and having it attack Dan were both horrible mistakes, things could've gone much worse. That didn't ease all of her guilt but it seemed like they were willing to forgive her. Maybe she could do something for them to make up for it and repair the garden, too. A couple grass sculptures commemorating Dan as part of Equestria sounded nice. Disaster averted, she prepared to return to them.

"Can't let you do that, Moony," a voice said.

Luna turned around, not sure of where it had come from but sure of one thing; she shouldn't have heard it. The voice had sounded just like her own.

"Down here gorgeous!"

Looking down, she saw... herself standing by one of KNIGHT's hooves. Herself waved back at her and smiled. Luna shook her head and rubbed her eyes, questioning her vision before coming to another quick conclusion.

"Chrysalis?"

The doppelganger batted the question away. "No, but I am working on that one. But what about my Princess Luna? You like? Or maybe you like this one better?" A green flash enveloped him and he transformed into a white stallion. "Better?"

Luna squinted. "You... you're the servant from the castle. You're a changeling?"

The pony grinned. "And who says you miss everything? That's right, though I'm here to talk about a mutual friend of ours."

"I, I don't understand," Luna admitted. What 'mutual friend' was he talking about?

"I think you know the one. You need to check your messages, Moony. He and the professor are a bit disappointed you decided to alter the plan."

On the castle-side of the destroyed courtyard, Twilight and the others began to take notice of Luna's absence. "What's she doing over there?" the purple mare asked.

"Do you think she needs help?" Fluttershy asked, still comforting her animals.

"We should go ask her," Rarity suggested. The other ponies agreed and took to the sky again, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash hovering while the others being held by Celestia and Chrys.

"You guys have fun with that, I'm gonna head back inside and get a sandwich," Dan bid them farewell.

Twilight turned around. "You're not coming, Dan?"

Dan turned his back to her. "Let me explain something, Twilight. That's a giant pony robot. You're a princess. Celestia's a princess. LUNA is a princess. Chrysalis is a QUEEN. Me?" he pointed back to himself and smiled, "I'm leaving. Have fun!"

"But Dan," Applejack started, "y'all trounced that thing once, right?"

Dan turned back to the orange mare and grumbled. "Well... yeah..."

"And ya did it all by yourself, right?"

Reluctantly, Dan admitted, "Yeah..."

"So now, with all of us together, there's no way it could stand a chance if it went up against all of us. And all we have to do is make sure it doesn't try to start nothin'. Am I right... pardner?"

Lip tightly buttoned, Dan did his best to hold his gaze against the cowgirl as he considered his options. His hesitance soon crumbled against the weight of the honest pony's good-natured expression of incredibly supportive encouragement. It was one of those looks, the half-knowing, half-persuading, all-supporting doe-eyed stare that could convince a bright red STOP sign to turn green and say GO. That, combined with AJ's innate adorableness made it incredibly hard to decline.

"But..." Dan's lip trembled, "but..."

The pones then resorted to their ultimate weapon of encouragement. All eight mares quickly clung close together as if taking a group photo. With eyes wide as saucers, smiles soft as pillows made of clouds and voices sweeter than maple-flavored haybacon dipped in honey, they asked,

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease??"

Dan balled his fists. "ALL RIGHT, FINE! GRRRRRRRRRRR" He threw his hands in the air.

"CANTERLOT ANNIVERSARY!!!"

Consciously, Luna retrieved her phone from her cloak pocket. "I wasn't aware I had changed any part of the plan." She checked though her phone and saw she had a couple unread messages. But that didn't change much. "The plan's not going to work anyway and it was entirely unnecessary to begin with. I was going to call him and-"

The strangeling shook his head. "No no no, you revealed yourself. THAT was the part of the plan you changed and now you've gotten all the others involved as well. Subtlety isn't your strong suit, is it?"

"What are you talking about?" Luna demanded. As far as Luna knew, the plan between her and her contacts had always been to develop a defense against weapons made by humans, to assess the potential of human elements introduced into Equestria and prepare for circumstances involving other dimensions, primarily Earth. While noble, the plan no longer seemed viable but the appearance of this changeling well, changed things. "Our goal has always been to-"

"Never mind that," he dismissed, "my point is, you changed how things are going to go down, so now I'm going to change how things are going to go down. My fellow estranged changelings and I need a home and I do believe your Magic Gear is just the thing to lay the foundation, if you catch my drift."

Luna didn't understand, didn't know who this other changeling was addressing her or how he happened to know so much about her contacts and the Magic Gear. "So what are you planning to do?!" Luna demanded. "You're just going to use KNIGHT to nuke Ponyville?!"

The stranger held up a hoof and opened his mouth to point something out, then slowly reversed both actions. "You know, I was actually expecting to have to explain that a bit more but no, you hit the 'corn on the horn. Kudos."

The dark alicorn shook violently. "NO! I'm not going to let you launch a sword spell! You and this contraption are going to-"

He held up a hoof. "Keep in mind, you did build this thing for that purpose."

"It was a BAD idea, one of many I've made but NOT one I'm going to let effect the rest of Equestria," she rose into the air, her horn glowing. While active, it was impervious to magic but in its shutdown state, Luna would be more than able to teleport it. And there was only one place she could think of imprisoning such a device. She flew up to the robot's back and prepared to cast the warp spell.

The changeling quickly turned back into Luna and flew up to her level himself. "As I said, I can't let you do this, Luna."

"So what, you've changed into me so you can hijack KNIGHT and order it to launch against Ponyville yourself?" Luna asked.

"Right again," the changeling commended her in her own voice. "Wow, you're really good at this. I guess it makes sense that you used to be a villain yourself huh?"

Luna scowled at the changeling mimicking her. "But the robot only responds to MY voice. And if it heard two conflicting orders, its A.I wouldn't know which one of us to obey."

"Exactly," the changeling smiled.

"So you're going to have to incapacitate me somehow so I won't be able to stop KNIGHT, is that it?"

"Wow," the strangeling almost applauded her. "You figured it all out. That's amazing. So, how do you think I'm going to make it so that you can't shutdown the robot?"

Luna tapped a hoof to her chin, thinking. "You could easily silence me with a drag-and-drop mouth removal spell. But I could easily counter that so it's likely you'd try to blind me first with a flashbang spell. Then if you blindfolded me, tied me up and teleported me somewhere, it's possible I'd be occupied for several minutes wherein you could pretend to be me and stall the other ponies and Dan, buying you enough time for Magic Gear KNIGHT to launch the sword spell."

"Ohhhh, so close," the changeling said, sarcastically disappointed. He raised a hoof at her. "Actually, I'm just going to hit you with this knockout gas and tell the robot to sword Ponyville," he sprayed her. "But hey- two outta three ain't bad and your idea was pretty good. Maybe next time. Nighty-night princess."

The princess was enveloped in pink gas, obscuring her entire body. Grinning, the strangeling was about to turn around when the gas quickly dissipated and he was surprised to see Luna still standing in front of him. A blue energy shield covered her.

A vicious smile formed on the princess' face. "You should've taken my advice. Maybe then you would've stood a chance against me."

"Damn... I didn't know shield spells blocked vapors," he said, backing up carefully. He scrambled for the neck of the pony, cowering as the true princess of the night advanced before him. Swirls of black shadows wrapped themselves around her hooves, her mane began to flow like the beacon of the night itself.

Luna looked back at him through her protective bubble. "I find it's really helpful to have a backup plan. As you said, I used to be a villain myself. And let me tell you something about us villains..." As she spoke, the trails of shadow along her hooves climbed her legs and began covering her body. Terrified, the changeling witnessed another transformation himself. The onyx wrappings warped along Luna's body, enveloping her and expanding outward until her entire visage had changed. "We always have a backup plan."

Taller than before, wearing armor with a longer horn and wings was the pony embodiment of a living, breathing bad dream. As if on cue, the sun finally went down completely leaving them in the light of the stars above. The changeling didn't know what was more dangerous now: the robot armed with a nuke he was cowering on or mare in front of him. One thing he did know was that he wouldn't be able to change into what she was now.

Fully transformed, she chuckled lightly to herself and asked, "So, what was that you just said? Oh yes," Nightmare Moon grinned, "Nighty-night, princess." Using her magic, the nightmarish mare raised the changeling's hoof, still a transformed version of her own, and made him point it at his face. With his final expression one of terror, the changeling was forced to gas himself under Nightmare Moon's control. A pink mist sprayed him point-blank and he immediately fell off the giant mech.

"Muahahahaha! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!!" Nightmare Moon cackled in triumph.

"LUNA!!!" a familiar group of voices called. Turning in their direction, Nightmare saw Celestia, Twilight Sparkle and the rest of the group flying towards her.

"Ah, if it isn't sister, the student and all her little friends. It' so good to see all of you again," she addressed them with a smile.

Twilight's eyes went wide in shock. "Nightmare Moon?!!"

"It's been so long, hasn't it, Twilight Sparkle? How have you all been?"

"We're all doin' fine, just fine," Applejack responded, nonchalant-nervously, "How 'bout yerself, err, Princess Luna?"

"My name is Nightmare Moon," the shadowy alicorn responded, "And I must say that this is the perfect night for a reunion. For from now on, The night SHALL LAST FOREVER!!!" she laughed again. The clouds swirling around her flashed with lightning, adding to the ominousness of the mood.

"Luna..." Celestia said in an inquisitive voice, "what are you doing?"

"What?" Nightmare asked, "Didn't you hear me? I'm Nightmare Moon again! Mwahahaha!" Twilight and her friends continued to hold their distance in fright of the dark alicorn.

Celestia continued to hold an unamused expression at her sister. "Luna, you're scaring our friends."

"Oh," NM said, "but I thought ponies enjoyed being scared sometimes? That's what Twilight said when I went to Ponyville."

"Well yes, but that was during Nightmare Night," Twilight pointed out.

"Ooooh," Nightmare realized.

Rarity, being held aloft by Celestia, nodded. "There's a time for the frightening, deary but not when there are already other concerns at hoof."

"Oh, okay. That, that makes sense," Nightmare agreed.

"I thought it was funny!" Chrys shouted, clapping her hooves while holding Twilight and Dan.

Dan raised an eyebrow. "So, who are you again?"

"SHE'S NIGHTMARE MOON!" the ponies shouted at him in unison.

"Hey! I haven't been here! Give me a break!"

"It took me a moment too," Chrys said, landing on KNIGHT's back next to Nightmare Moon. "So you're Luna?"

Nightmare Moon raised her head proudly. "I am Nightmare Moon, Princess and ruler of the night in all its power and glory and-"

A stern look from Celestia stopped her.

She squee-smiled. "Yes, I'm Luna. Hi."

"Hi!" Chrys stuck a hoof out to shake. "I'm Queen Chrysalis, or just Chrys now. So, you tried to takeover Equestria, too?"

"Yeah," Nightmare shyly admitted. "Twice."

"Really? Me too!" Chrys gleefully stated.

Watching the social interaction, Dan whispered, "Are they really doing this RIGHT NOW?"

"Shhh," the rest of the mares shushed him.

"I heard," Nightmare said. "You impersonated Princess Cadence and tried to conquer Canterlot with a horde of changelings."

"Yeah," Chrys nodded, blushing slightly. "Twilight and her friends stopped me though."

Nightmare giggled. "They do that."

Chrys giggled. "Yeah, they do. Hey, we should team up and try taking over Equestria together."

"Great idea!" the two burst out laughing.

Pinkie Pie shook her head. "That's not funny."

"Hey, we're only kidding," Chrys threw a hoof around Nightmare Moon's shoulders. "Us bad girls gotta stick together." The pair then brohoofed. Twilight couldn't help but fear what would happen if the two nega-pegasisters actually did partner together and try to conquer the kingdom. For some reason, she also wondered if they'd invite her. She quickly shook out that curiosity and wondered why she would ever question such a thing.

"Touching, gal pals, really touching," the changeling appeared, flying up to their level from the side. "But I'm afraid, you're not the only ones in Equestria with the power to rule. And on that note," in a flash, he changed into Luna and flew around to the front of the robot. "Hey, wake up!" he kicked KNIGHT's muzzle.

The eyes of the mech shot open, illuminating the darkness with an eerie yellow glow. "Standing by."

The Luna-changeling grinned. "Let's get the party started, shall we? Protocol Omega! Initiate SWORD sequence! Target: Ponyville!"

"Acknowledged. Primary offense mode engaged. Acquiring target," the mech's eyes turned red again and it began to move. One leg after the other, the massive metal pony turned towards the castle and started marching in the direction of its target.

"No, no n-AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!" Dan screamed as he fell off the robot but this time, Twilight and Chrys both caught him.

"It's okay Dan- we've got you!" Twilight said.

"No, not that," Dan groaned, hanging upside down from their hooves. "It's the hard way."

"Maybe not," Nightmare Moon said. "It's programmed to listen to my voice. We can stop this."

Chrys flashed green and transformed into another Nightmare Moon. "Wait! Let me come too! Twilight, look after Dan and the others!"

"Okay," Twilight said, slowly descending to the ground with him.

The two shadow alicorns flew to the front of the marching mech. "Cease protocol! Exit all done!" Nightmare shouted.

"What she said!" Chrys added in Nightmare's voice.

"Acknowledged." The KNIGHT halted abruptly.

"No!" the changeling shouted. "Cancel that order! Proceed with protocol!"

"Acknowledged. Continuing Protocol Omega- Target: Ponyville."

"Quick!" Twilight shouted. "We have to do something to stop it!"

"I have an idea!" Dan yelled. "You guys try to slow it down! I'm gonna try to get it's attention!"

"Okay!" Twilight said back, "Rainbow, get something we can use to wrap around its legs! Rarity, Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rarity, each grab one of the legs and get ready to wrap!"

"I don't have my beatboxing hat."

"Pinkie!"

"Kidding!"

"Princess, you and I could try and contain it in a shield!" she said to her mentor.

"Good idea. Let's get ahead of it," she said, taking flight, with Twilight grabbing on to fly with her.

"Cease protocol!" Nightmare Moon shouted.

"Continue protocol!" the changeling countered.

"Cease protocol! Listen to the other me!" Chrys added.

"Acknowledged. Protocol-"

The changeling flew right up to its face. "Continue Omega Protocol!"

"Acknowledged. Continuing Ome-"

Nightmare Moon unleashed a blast of dark magic from her horn but the changeling dodged. The shadow princess flew right up to the mechanical mare's ear. "WE ORDER YOU TO CEASE PROTOCOL!!" she screamed in the Royal Canterlot Voice.

The changeling took a deep breath and moved to the other ear. "WE ORDER YOU TO CONTINUE PROTOCOL!!" He mimicked the RCV perfectly.

"Should I say something?" Chrys asked, holding her Nightmarish impersonated ears.

KNIGHT shook, its eyes flaring. "Unable to comply; building in progress."

"That doesn't sound good," Chrys backed away.

The changeling and Nightmare Moon both gripped the ears of the mech. "YOU WILL OBEY! I ORDER YOU TO-"

"Switching to self-defense mode." KNIGHT picked up its massive hooves and swatted at both princesses, batting them away.

"Great! Now look what you've done!" Nightmare Moon said to the changeling, picking herself up from the dirt. "Now it thinks we're both the enemy!"

The changeling shrugged. "Well, I think I'll simplify things. Once all of you are out of the way, I'll just tell it to attack Ponyville! Toodles!" the visage of Luna disappeared, vanishing like vapor in the night.

"Disappearing magic...?" Nightmare Moon muttered.

"Look out!" Another Nightmare Moon, Chrys, dove and snatched her from the ground before KNIGHT's massive hoof could come down on her. Scrambling into the air, the two flew ahead of it. "Well, it's not trying to destroy Ponyville."

"Yes, but it is trying to destroy us. And I don't think it's going to be listening to me any more," Nightmare Moon said. The mech advanced behind them, stomping towards the two with menacing red eyes and glowing horn.

"How do we stop it?" Chrys asked, returning to normal.

A rock hit the side of the robot's head. Its eyes turned a curious yellow and it turned in the direction of the chucked projectile. Nightmare Moon and Chrys followed its head to the right.

"The same way we stop everything else," Dan said. "The hard way!" He threw another stone at KNIGHT while it watched him, a proverbial David versus a magical, metal goliath.

With a menacing glare, the giant machine reared back on its hind legs. Grnnnnnnnnnnngggghhh! "Face me!" The ground reverberated with shocks as it brought its metallic front hooves down in a massive double stomp. It then turned to Dan.

"Great job getting its attention, Dan!" Twilight yelled.

"Yeah!" Chrys agreed. "Now what're you going to do with it?"

Even if Dan had time to answer, he didn't have an answer. He looked up at the colossal mech turning towards him and ran in the opposite direction.

Twilight and Celestia regrouped with Nightmare and Chrys. The four watched Dan continue to run back towards the castle as the robot began to march after him.

"Was this part of his strategy when he beat it before?" Celestia asked, watching the biped fade into the distance.

"Well, yes and no," Nightmare replied, thinking back. "Mostly no."

"It's chasing after him now! What do we do?" Twilight worriedly asked.

Chrys smacked her hoofs together. "We hire a team of seven mercenaries from another dimension and we-"

"Something realistic, please," Twilight sighed.

"Rainbow and the others are looking for something to slow it down with. I figured going for the legs might be our only chance at stopping it," Twilight said.

Nightmare shook her head gravely. "It's not enough to slow it down. If it disengages from self-defense mode, it will return to its primary functions and attempt to execute its last instructions."

"So it either attacks us or it destroys Ponyville," Celestia surmised, her eyes narrowing.

"That would be correct, sister."

The white alicorn immediately took flight, determined. "Luna, I'm afraid I'm going to have to break your toy." In that instance, Chrys and Twilight questioned who was the more dangerous: Nightmare Moon or Princess Celestia.

"It's not that simp- wait, Tia!" Nightmare called after her sister but she'd already bolted off. The shadowy alicorn kicked off the ground to join her. "Chrys, Twilight, she's going to need our help."

"I can't-..." Twilight rose a hoof to point out a critical piece of information but Chrys stopped her.

"She still can't fly that well outside," Chrys explained.

Nightmare's expression didn't change. "Carry her."

"Right. Twilight, get on."

"Okay," she carefully mounted the changeling and they took off.

Having chased Dan into the castle, KNIGHT prepared to bring a metal limb down on a portion of the garden entrance. A bright orange beam struck its right foreleg before it could smash the building, blasting the hoof and knocking it to the side. But KNIGHT maintained its balance and turned its head to face its newest target.

Princess Celestia flew through the night like an arrow and fired another lethal spell from her horn. A bright red-orange ray struck Magic Gear KNIGHT right between the eyes and rose up her face to blast its horn before it dissipated. When the beam was finished however, the robot remained unscathed. Celestia's eyes widened to see her fiery spell hadn't managed to damage the mech. Narrowing her focus, she quickly switched tactics.

KNIGHT's targeting system continued to watch the white mare as she flew towards it. The princess flew right over it, forcing it to turn its head. Celestia's horn glowed as she hovered, attempting to levitate the metal monster into the air. But the robot failed to glow with the princess's corresponding magical aura and stayed standing where it was.

Celestia strained, her horn glowing brighter as she struggled to lift the giant tank but it remained firmly planted on the ground, not moving an inch.

Turning around to face her again, KNIGHT unleashed its own magic. The robot fired a huge yellow beam from its own horn, illuminating the night sky and casting flashes of light on the exterior of the castle. Celestia narrowly dodged the ray as it shot past her into the distance.

"Launching X-mines."

Before the princess could retaliate, twin projectiles launched from KNIGHT's back. The two ballistics hovered briefly before shooting into the ground at its hooves. Not knowing what kind of new tactic this was, Celestia surrounded herself with a shield. This turned out to be the correct course of action as the deployed rockets quickly burst up from the ground right under her.

The mines launched upward and exploded on either side of the white mare, blasting smoke and shrapnel all around her. But none of the force, fire or debris managed to get through Celestia's shield. She lowered her hooves guarding her face as she prepared to counter. Her magic was strong; she would not let a machine, no matter how formidable, get the better of her.

Or so she thought. As the smoke cleared, she suddenly found KNIGHT staring directly in front of her. Before the princess could react, a pair of colossal metal hooves grasped her in midair. Her shield broke in an instant and she was clamped by the huge pony. Its hooves clamped down on her tiny frame, crushing her as she tried to resist. A pair of red eyes focused on her; the robot practically smiled as it pressed inward on the small princess.

Groaning, Celestia struggled to free herself. Her teeth gritted as she summoned all of her magical strength to try and pry the huge limbs off of her. To no avail. "Hnnnnng... clever... girl..."

"Hostile eliminated." KNIGHT watched as the helpless target stared back in horror. It squeezed.

"RELEASE HER!!!" Nightmare Moon screamed. Three purple beams blasted the robot's back, exploding in sparks and smoke as they connected. Another flurry of smaller, purple and pink beams peppered KNIGHT's body as two figures flew by.

"Let go of our princess!" Twilight yelled at the metal monstrosity, showering it with another hail of spell fire from Chrys' back.

Undamaged, KNIGHT's eyes turned yellow and it looked up while still holding the princess. It scanned the skies until it saw its assailants. Nightmare and Twilight riding Chrys flew right at the Magic Gear firing spells at its forelegs. Their intent was to get it to unhoof the princess and KNIGHT's processors already updated its targeting parameters. Rather than release the princess though, the mech's A.I came up with a different strategy.

"Switching targets." As KNIGHT held the princess firmly in its grasp, it quickly brought its forehead down on the helpless mare. KNIGHT head-smashed Celestia into the dirt, causing a massive crater to form in the grass from the quick motion.

"NOOOOOO!!!" the three mares yelled. Too far away to do anything, Nightmare Moon, Chrys and Twilight watched as the giant robot crushed Princess Celestia into the ground. Before they could close the distance, the metal mare lifted its massive right foreleg overhead to deliver the finishing blow.

"Target destroyed." KNIGHT swung.

The trio of airborne mares watched in shock as KNIGHT plunged its leg right onto where Celestia lay. Twilight's heart sank, a sort of hollowness overtaking her entire body. She would've fallen off Chrys if the changeling hadn't held her in place. Nightmare Moon herself hovered with jaw agape, feeling a sense of numbness and loss surrounding her. They hadn't been fast enough and just like that, it was over.

A loud 'ding' rang out as KNIGHT dropped its hoof like a hammer. But that's all that had happened. Celestia, lying on her side in the dirt opened her eyes to see that the robot's hoof had stopped just above her. It was shaking, vibrating like some other-worldly force was pushing back against it.

Twilight and the others watched, still stunned as the robot stuck its hoof into the ground. But then, something caught their eyes. The machine's limb seemed to be twitching.

The ground next to Celestia moved and she noticed a black sneaker above where her head lay. She looked up to see a pair of pale hands pressing up on the chrome limb above her, stopping it from crushing her.

Dan groaned as he held up KNIGHT's hoof. "And THIS... is WHY... I DIDN'T... want to do it... the HARD WAY!"

"Dan..." Celestia whispered. "How did you-"

"How about you ask questions later and TELEPORT US BEFORE WE GET CRUSHED!!"

Closing her eyes, Celestia's horn flashed. KNIGHTS hoof came down on the spot, impacting the ground and kicking up dirt.

KNIGHT's hoof dug into the dirt where Celestia was, its other legs also sinking quite a bit. The machine's internal sensors indicated that the ground under it was unstable. Its immense weight, combined with the ruined garden's surface actually made it difficult for the robot to maintain balance where it was standing, like being in a sandbox.

Noticing this new development, KNIGHT lifted its right hoof. Its narrowed eyes scanned the spot where the white alicorn had been and came to a near-instantaneous conclusion: the target had evaded destruction. Flicking its massive, steel tail in annoyance, the machine began to search in front of it for the target.

A good distance behind it by the castle steps, Dan held his knees to catch his breath. "The things I do... for my little ponies."

"Dan... thank you," Celestia said through labored breaths. Dan steadied her body to help her stand but she didn't need much help. The two of them looked beaten, exhausted after their encounter with the infernal machine. Despite their haggard appearances, Magic Gear KNIGHT looked no worse for wear.

Nightmare Moon, Chrys and Twilight landed by them. "Princess!" Twilight called out as she dismounted and ran over.

"Are you both all right?" Chrys asked.

"No," Dan replied, agitated, "I'm having to fight that thing again while it's tried to kill me at least three different times in three different ways in the last three minutes and nothing we can do can stop it!!"

Magic Gear KNIGHT continued searching for its targets but was having difficulty standing. It tripped under the soft ground and fell on its side with a massive crash that threw up dirt and debris. Shaking its head, it did its best to stand again.

The five quietly ran behind the side of the castle as the machine regained its ground.

"How DID you stop it, Dan?" Chrys asked as they hid.

Dan wiped his forehead and shrugged. "I just dove for Celestia. I wasn't going to let that thing crush her."

"I think it was leverage," Twilight said, looking around the corner at KNIGHT. "It was off-balance when it tried to hit you; Dan didn't get the full force of the blow. When it swung down, its other legs sank into the sand and it stopped the moment Dan intervened."

"That's... incredibly convenient," Chrys said, hoof to her chin.

"No," Dan said again, "convenient would've been if that thing tripped and blew itself up. But I don't see any giant banana peels around here so we're going to need another plan."

"It's completely invulnerable to magic while active," Nightmare Moon said gravely. "There's no spell strong enough to crack its armor."

"Maybe not our spells..." Twilight thought aloud, "but what about its own?" The others looked at her, piecing together what her idea. "Is there some way we could redirect one of its own spells back at it?"

Nightmare raised a hoof to her chin, thinking. "We didn't test against mirrors. Theoretically, even as strong as KNIGHT's own magic is, it could be reflected back at it if it hit a mirror."

Twilight approached her. "If we could somehow bounce one of its spells back at it, do you think that would be enough to damage it?"

The shadowy alicorn was silent for almost a full minute. They hung on her answer, hopeful. "Possibly," she finally said.

"It's worth a try, then," Chrys said. "We're going to need a lot of mirrors."

Dan sighed heavily. "I'll go get the mirrors from inside the castle."

"Wait, Dan," Twilight put a hoof on his shoulder, "I know a faster way."

"What's that?" Dan raised an eyebrow.

The purple mare smiled and her horn glowed. In a flash, the two disappeared.

"Great, we have a plan," Chrys said. "What do we do until they get back?"

"We have to prevent the machine from doing any more damage," Celestia said resolutely. "Keep our distance and try to lure it away from the castle."

"Let's see where it is now," Nightmare said. Pressing her darkling back against the wall, she poked her head around the corner quickly and then shot back. It took a full second for the realization to hit her. The moment after that, cold fear gripped her chest and she slowly poked her head around the corner again. KNIGHT's massive eyes stared back at her just a scant few feet away. The robot was apparently mimicking her action. She pulled her head back around and braced herself against the wall again, swallowing hard.

KNIGHT pressed its own back against the wall of the castle as Luna recoiled. For all of the mech's combat programming, the A.I was still based on that of a mare and as such was prone to spontaneous acts of adorable behavior. While questionably effective in battle, cuteness was nevertheless another one of the weapons in KNIGHT's arsenal. The robot's own eyes glowed yellow and wide with nervous anticipation despite that it was the predator and the ponies plus biped were the prey.

"What is it doing? Where is it now?" Celestia asked. Nightmare said nothing, too stunned to speak.

"It's stalking us right around the corner, isn't it?" Chrys guessed. Nightmare silently nodded. "What should we do?"

The robot pounced around the corner, almost knocking the three of them off the ground as its hooves stomped. GRNNNNNNNGGG!!! "Found you!"

"RUN!" Chrys shouted. Without warning, KNIGHT fired a yellow beam from its horn at the three ponies. They evaded just before the ray scorched the grass where they'd been standing. Princess pair and queen took to the skies, kicking off the ground into flight. The mech turned and followed them, quickening its pace as its eyes turned into a red glare again.

Celestia in the lead, they flew away from the castle with the machine stomping behind them. Only at quick walking pace right now, they dared not wonder what would happen if it broke into a canter in Canterlot. A bright yellow beam flashed past them as the robot fired again. They dodged easily, the spell flying past them and into the night.

"At least we're harder to hit up here!" Chrys yelled.

"Launching missiles."

Twin sets of three flares blossomed on KNIGHT's back. Six missiles took flight and began racing towards the three mares fleeing from the robot, intent on blasting them out of the sky.

"Missiles!" Nightmare shouted, looking behind them. The half-dozen explosives rocketed at them, illuminating the ground like flaming arrows.

Chrys and Nightmare stopped and quickly shielded themselves with magic.

"NO!" Celestia shouted. She pushed the two mares out of the way and blasted the missiles in midflight before they could hit them. KNIGHT charged through the smoke at a gallop, intent on slamming the three ponies between its hooves.

The three returned to fleeing, flying away as the robot's speed increased.

"That's how it caught me off guard the first time," Celestia said. "It seems to have developed its own tactic for dealing with magic-users."

"It has an artificial intelligence," Nightmare remarked. "It's capable of learning, developing strategies. It was based off of Dan's memories and personality but modified to behave like a pony."

"How did you manage to construct that thing?" Celestia asked, looking over her shoulder at the mech pursuing them.

"Let's worry about that after we stop it!" Chrys shouted.

"Launching missiles." KNIGHT deployed another group of missiles that began tracking the three ponies.

Celestia turned around. "I have an idea!" Nightmare and Chrys stopped as well, hovering as they watched her. The white princess flew into the paths of the missiles. Using her magic, she caught each one in a levitation spell. She whipped her head around, aiming her magic and flung the explosives back at Magic Gear Knight. The machine continued charging, not even stopping as the missiles' trajectory changed and they flew back at it. Its eyes remained focused on the ponies.

At such close range, the missiles' targeting system was still locked on the ponies but their abrupt change in flight made it impossible for them to alter their course to continue tracking them. Knifing through the night, all six blazed back towards the massive robot as it advanced forward, their collision imminent. The princesses' plan would've worked, might have even damaged the robot by sending its missiles back at it if KNIGHT's own A.I didn't destruct the projectiles in midflight before they could hit it.

As simple as flipping a switch, all six missiles exploded in midair just in front of the robot, bursting into flames and showering the ground with smoke and debris.

"Drat," Chrys said.

"They didn't get through," Celestia commented, defeat in her voice. KNIGHT continued to charge at them and the three mares resumed fleeing.

"It's still a good plan," Nightmare said. Another beam blasted past them as she spoke. "The missiles weren't quite fast enough. It won't be able to de-cast its own magic, though so it should work if we can reflect the beam at it."

"Let's just hope Dan and Twilight get the mirror said up in time," Celestia hoped.

"How are they going to signal us when they're ready?" Chrys asked. As she poised that question, a glint of light hit her across the eyes, not bright enough to blind her. Following its direction, she spied a light shining like a beacon on the other side of the castle's steps a good distance away. "There! They're over there!" she pointed.

The three mares banked, making an aerial U-turn back in the direction of the castle. Flying faster, they zoomed over the crater that had been the garden as Dan and Twilight came into view. KNIGHT, still chasing them, ground its hooves into the dirt to change directions. Its legs grinded the earth as it spun, coming to a stop as it completed the 180. Stomping its hooves, it broke into a run in the opposite direction, following its prey.

It had been surprisingly easy for Dan and Twilight to find and connect a bunch of mirrors together. Twilight teleported them to two of the castle's bathrooms, Dan pried off the reflective surfaces from above the sinks and then used Twilight's horn as a makeshift magic welding torch to fuse them together. The collection of mirrors were now propped up in Pinkie's chariot from the race earlier, facing Chrys, Celestia and Nightmare Moon as the three approached.

Dan held Twilight as her horn cast a light spell to signal the others. "It looks like they see us," Twilight said.

"Good. And they're bringing company?" Dan asked.

"It's right behind them," Twilight responded. "You still haven't told me how you're planning on getting KNIGHT to attack the mirror and not them."

Dan grinned and rotated Twilight's tail. "Pinkie told me where your safety is."

The purple mare turned her head back around. "I have a safety?!"

"Eeyup," Dan replied. He walked in front of the mirror and pointed his loaded princess at the distance. With a pull of her tail, her wings deployed, giving Dan a bullet shield of sorts. "And if you were wearing your crown, I'd have crosshairs."

Twilight, now nervously pointing in the direction Dan was aiming, was beginning to piece his plan together. "So, you're going to shoot KNIGHT hoping it shoots back and hits the mirror? Using... me as the gun?"

"Exactly," Dan answered, taking aim. "And when it fires one of its rays, you teleport us out of the way right before it hits us."

Twilight nodded and did her best to steady herself in Dan's grip. "Okay... I think I can do that."

"I know you can, Twilight. And if it doesn't work, we can try out your grenade launcher."

"My WHAT?"

Celestia, Chrys and Nightmare Moon flew over Dan and Twilight, turning back around to land behind them and face KNIGHT. The Magic Gear's pace had been slowed as it trotted through the refuse-strewn crater. But with its massive legs, it was already climbing its way out of the hole in huge strides.

"You want to conserve ammo, Dan," Chrys said. "Don't fire until you see the reds of its eyes."

Both Dan and Twilight turned to Chrys with unamused frowns. "No," they said simultaneously. Magic just didn't have an ammo capacity.

As the robot placed a hoof at the top of the crater, Dan unleashed hell. Blasting the robot in the head, eyes, horn, anywhere he could, he spun Twilight's tail as fast as it could go, unleashing a barrage of purple and violet bolts.

The spell fire pinged off KNIGHT's armor, connecting but not even scratching the metal pony. It climbed its way out of the hole unhindered by the magical flurry, absorbing each blast without even a flinch. Its systems registered all five targets in the same space, three behind and two in front of a small barricade at the edge of the castle. Determined to finally crush all of its enemies, KNIGHT charged up its horn with magic, preparing its devastating obliteration spell.

"Target locked."

Dan stopped firing, still watching the robot. "Ready, Twilight?"

Twilight's eyes narrowed. "Ready."

KNIGHT fired a colossal yellow beam, pulsing waves reverberating off its own horn. The machine was actually moved backward by the force of its blast, its hooves digging trenches in the dirt. The beam illuminated the entire side of the castle as it raced towards Dan and Twilight, a brilliant light scorching its way through the night.

In a flash, Dan and Twilight themselves vanished and reappeared behind the mirror with Chrys, Celestia and Nightmare Moon. The beam hit the mirror in the center and refracted off of it, arcing back at KNIGHT.

Dan and the others couldn't help but stick their heads out from behind the mirror to see the results of their plan. They all took a simultaneous glance just in time to just barely make out the expression on KNIGHT's face before the beam hit it.

To its credit, the robot tried to dodge the attack but wasn't nearly fast enough. It rose on its back hooves to try and guard its face but didn't even have time to raise its forelegs. The beam struck it on the chest and rose up to strike its neck and muzzle, blasting the robot off its hooves. KNIGHT exploded into flames, pieces of armor ripping off of it as its body flew into the crater in an incredible fireball that turned the garden into a huge bonfire in an instant.

Flames, smoke and bits of metal showered the landscape forcing the four ponies and biped to take cover in the chariot mirror. As the shower subsided, Dan jumped out from behind the mirror.

"YES!!" Dan exclaimed, throwing his fits to the sky. "WE GOT IT! THE MECH JUST GOT WRECKED!!!"

"Yay!" Chrys joined in. She, Twilight and Dan shared celebratory high-hoof/fives and proceeded to grab each others' limbs and dance merrily in a circle. Nightmare Moon and Celestia both enjoyed a pair of long-overdue sighs of much-needed relief. Smoke rose from the crater in front of them, billowing into the sky to become one with the ink above.

"Yes!" Twilight agreed. "Ponyville and Canterlot and all our friends are finally safe! It's a good thing that plan worked; I was worried we might have to drop a building on it or something."

"Hey Twilight," Chrys asked, reminded of something. "Where are your other friends, anyway?"

The purple princess immediately ceased her rejoicing. "I don't know. I told them to look for something to trip its legs with but that was-"
A loud rumble cut her off.

Dan turned around to them. "What was that?"

"No..." Nightmare Moon said, stepping forward.

"Heavy damage sustained. Armor compromised, system- KRZZT!" GRNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!

The five turned their attention back towards the crater to see a giant, burning, metal hoof reach the edge of the hole. Its armor was burnt and smolder, metal grinding on the inside as its own systems struggled to compensate for the damage but Magic Gear KNIGHT still managed to climb its way out of the crater to stand before its foes. A blackened mark on its chest where the beam hit was visible and one of its eyes no longer glowed. It rubbed a hoof on the blackened ocular sensor, its other eye narrowing in rage.

Lucky shot.

The group's hearts collectively sank as they saw the machine standing before them once again. The gigantic pony glared it them with its one-still lit red eye like an angered beast. Apart from the scorched mark on its chest where the beam drilled into it, other parts of its armor were dented. Pieces of its polished chrome-like material were missing from areas around its joints exposing the metal underneath. But still it stood amongst the ashes, embers blowing in the night breeze as it fixated on its prey.

"Nopony panic," Dan said, cautioning them. "We still have our giant mirror so we just get behind it an-"

"Launching missiles."

The blackness overhead was punctuated by twin flares as KNIGHT launched its missiles. The streaks rose high and then came back down, aimed directly at them.

"MOVE!" Celestia shouted. Chrys and Twilight grabbed Dan's arms and flew him away, Celestia and Nightmare Moon did the same. The five took to the sky quickly rising above KNIGHT's height and away from the missiles. But they weren't the missiles' target.

The twin rockets continued arcing downward despite Twilight and the others being in the air. The missiles collided with the mirror and the chariot it was on, disintegrating both in a fiery explosion. Shards of wood and glittering reflective bits flew out in all directions.

Dan, Twilight and Chrys' expressions turned into distraught, open-mouthed frowns. "Great! That's just fan-bucking-tastic! We finally outsmart the thing and it gets smarter! WHAT'RE WE GONNA DO NOW?!"

Once again, a question had been posed that none of them had the answer to. Celestia, with her magic, didn't know of any spell that KNIGHT couldn't resist. Nightmare Moon, with her intimate knowledge of the machine couldn't think of any way to switch it off. Twilight, with all her problem-solving prowess was at a loss for how to stop the foe. Finally, Dan, for all his rage and tenacity didn't see anything nearby he could hit it with.

But as with the problems before, the solution was already on its way. And Chrys was the one that heard it. "What's that noise?" she asked.

They all noticed it then- a rumbling sound but the robot remained stationary. Though moderately damaged, KNIGHT's systems still picked up the echo and the vibrations through the ground. Detecting the motion, it determined where it was coming and turned to face the approaching sound, its single working eye a cautious yellow.

"Look!" Chrys shouted, pointing down at the opposite end of the garden.

KNIGHT's regular vision wasn't able to register what was heading towards it so it quickly swapped filters to a night vision mode. That was when they materialized: figures in the dark, life forms, were stampeding around the crater towards its position in a massive pincer-strike swarm.

Celestia and Luna cast spotlight beams from their horns on the horde. Bears, squirrels, birds, all manner of creatures that made their homes in Canterlot's gardens were storming their way towards KNIGHT, an army charging the castle. The assembled might of critters stopped and encircled the massive mech, surrounding it completely. Illuminated by the small fires on the ground, the creatures snarled at the monster. KNIGHT's targeting system immediately registered them all as hostile.

"Twilight! Guys!" Rainbow Dash called. Towards the back of the assembling mob of woodland war were the rest of Twilight's friends, waving at her. "Down here y'all!" Applejack yelled.

Celestia and Luna quickly cast their lights over them. "Rainbow! Applejack!" Twilight waved back. Chrys, Dan and the three princesses flew down to them, the ground still rumbling as the animal brigade formed. "What is all this?"

Another pony, a brown unicorn stallion appeared along with Fluttershy. "Evenin' your majesties!" he said, bowing.

Twilight was surprised. "Is that the gardener from before?"

The stallion saluted. "Sargent Nightshade of the Special Tactics and Logistics Legion, at yer service, ma'am!"

"Special Tactics and... what?" Dan repeated, bewildered.

"They're a special group of guards," Nightmare Moon explained. "STaLL works to keep an eye on things in secret, ensuring the prolonged safety of Equestria."

Celestia nodded. "You didn't think we'd leave the whole castle completely undefended, did you?"

Twilight and Chrys shook their heads. "No, not at all princess!"

"I thought that!" Dan added.

"Where did all of these animals come from?" Celestia asked.

Nightshade patted Fluttershy's shoulder causing the Pegasus to blush. "That'd be this one's doin' your majesty. Taught her how to get the attention of all the critters in the garden."

Fluttershy nodded. "The secret was... whistling."

"At first, we didn't know what to try and stop the monster with," Pinkie chimed in, bouncing. "But then Fluttershy heard the gardener whistling and he taught her how to summon all the creatures! She practically started her own marching band!"

Rarity strode through them, brandishing her own confidence. "And we thought, what better way to fight a beast than with an army of beasts!" she proclaimed, outstretching her hoof at the animal battalion. "It's so strange. That... that thing-"

"Giant robot pony," Chrys helped her.

"That robot looks a lot like my sister," Rarity commented, a touch of regret in her tone.

Nightmare Moon stepped in to sunder all doubt. "Regardless of its appearance, it is no less a deadly device. We must stop it from doing more damage to Equestria."

Twilight turned back to the group. "Fluttershy, how are you going to get the animals to help us?"

The yellow Pegasus said nothing but closed her eyes, took a deep breath and blew.

KNIGHT had yet to attack the creatures surrounding it. Although hostile, the robot's self-defense programming(based on Dan's personality) wouldn't attack unless it was attacked first. KNIGHT's self-repair functions had already restored part of the vision to its damaged eye and were beginning to fix its internal damage as well. If the animals had not appeared, the Magic Gear's command mode would've reengaged and it would've prepared to sword Ponyville again. But the army surrounding it was doing something unexpected to KNIGHT simply by being there.

"So, how're we supposed to use an army of forest animals to take down a giant robot?" Dan asked, skeptical as ever.

"Wait, what's it doing now?" Twilight asked. KNIGHT whipped its head around frantically, not like an aggressive hunter but scared like a cornered animal.

"Well, I'm not waiting around for that thing to make the first move!" Dan declared, muscling his way through the crowd.

"Dan, wait!" Twilight tried to stop him.

The robot's A.I was designed to learn to better adapt to threats. It had learned a lot from Dan and the others but its combat programming wasn't the only thing learning- it was also developing a personality. Originally designed based on Dan and Luna's personality combined with their memories, KNIGHT was built to be loyal to its mission, its primary programming above all else. But its personality was learning, growing in the short time it identified the world and was beginning to determine things for itself.

Twilight Sparkle, Celestia, Nightmare Moon, Chrys and Dan had all been scanned by KNIGHT's targeting system. For some reason, its A.I was doing its own evaluation and had identified each target as 'cute' and in Dan's case, 'silly'. Just before its own beam was bounced back at it, KNIGHT had identified herself as 'cute and kind of badass.' With these new observations came new actions derived from its memories, modifying its attack options based on collected data.

The animals held their positions, waiting for a command from Fluttershy. KNIGHT's targeting system had already scanned all of them and was ready to deploy any number of weapons. But as it cycled through its list of available attacks, new maneuvers like "hug" and "snuggle" appeared. The HUD within the robot continued listing these new commands, conflicting with its own programming.

For all of its combat programming and weaponry, KNIGHT was essentially a colossal unicorn filly. Her higher thought patterns were at the moment struggling to decide whether it should deploy a lethal barrage of X-mines to decimate its enemies if they attacked or to wrap its hooves around all the animals and engage in what its operations parameters described as a "cuddle."

Nervously, Knight shifted on her hooves, looking all around her. She could easily just jump out of the center of them but what if she accidentally stomped on one of them? Why was she suddenly concerned with their safety? Why was she referring to herself as... her? New concerns began to emerge in Knight's mind: she should destroy them all or should she play with them? Would Dan and the others play hide and seek with her? Is she up past her bedtime?

Part of her was wanting to just curl up into a ball and take a nap while a pounding sensation urged her to launch a sword spell and destroy Ponyville. Still, another part of her mind was curious about something called 'cake' and was immediately trying to locate it. No data entries existed on cake but its targeting data identified it as "awesome." The urge to have fun mounted inside of her, to pick flowers, play video games, dance, sing and frolic. New protocols were created including a subroutine for romping and being adorable while doing so.

Still, an even larger part of Knight's mind was occupied by one thought: how is she going to get her cutie mark? She realized all the eyes watching her at that moment and subconsciously began to position her metal tail over her blank flank. As she pondered how exactly a giant robot could earn her cutie mark, her auditory analyzers picked up a new sound: whistling.

The bears in front of the formation stood on their hind legs, making them larger and more intimidating. Squirrels climbed their arms, holding nuts and rocks aimed to chuck at Knight's chassis. The birds hovered above the bears forming a cage around the robot, flying in a large circle.

Shaking her head, Knight remembered her primary programming. It didn't matter that she wasn't fully repaired or that they were surrounding her.

"Initiating sword launch mode." Transforming, Knight's chest expanded, metal compartments splitting along her barrel. She stood, her bottom legs retracting to form a ring under her now more cylindrical barrel. Her forelegs and head recoiled into this, returning her to ROOK mode while she prepared to target Ponyville.

"NO! She's reengaged the launch sequence!" Nightmare screamed. The electro bubble formed back around Knight, shocking and frightening the animals away.

Fluttershy whistled, blew along with the gardener trying to get them to keep formation but it was too late. A few of the more scared animals clawed at the shield and Knight registered this as an offense. It launched missiles at the attackers, exploding in the ground nearby and showering the area with dirt and smoke. In an instant, it was chaos again.

"Launch angle set. 90 seconds to sword deployment."

"I... I can't control them! They're not listening to me!" Fluttershy shouted.

"WOAH!" Rainbow had to pick up Applejack so she wasn't crushed by a group of fleeing grizzlies.

"No... no, we have to do something!" Celestia yelled. She and her sister unleashed twin beams, one dark, one light. They were harmlessly absorbed by Knight's shield, not even causing it to waver.

"What do we do now, Twilight?" Pinkie asked.

"Ponyville's about to be destroyed by a giant robot version of my sister," Rarity said, worried.

"Is there anything we can do, Twilight?" Chrys asked, looking around.

The purple mare searched for an answer, looked for something, anything. And she found Dan. "Look!"

Somehow, Dan had been inside the curtain of Knight's shield when it came down. He now sprinted towards the giant robot, charging headlong as fast as he could.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Dan tackled Knight's chassis, slamming against it with full force. A metal clang echoed through the robot's body as he collided with it but the machine didn't budge an inch. He groaned, pushing against Knight as hard as he could to no avail.

"What's Dan doing?" Twilight asked worriedly. All the ponies looked through the translucent dome at Dan trying to shove the giant metal robot. "DAN!!"

Chrys looked the most worried. "We have to go help him!" she said, leaned forward, prepared to dash when Nightmare Moon put a hoof on her shoulder.

"We can't."

Dan groaned, pressing against the machine's chrome body with all his might. His shoes dug into the dirt, his muscles strained as he tried to move the monster but it remained firmly standing.

"Sixty seconds to launch."

"Stop it..." Eyes shut, teeth gritted, Dan balled his right fist and hit the side of the robot. "Stop it!" he struck with his other fist. "Stop it!" Again. Propped up by the machine, Dan pounded on it with both of his fists, dull, metallic echoes reverberating with each futile blow.

"Fifty seconds to launch."

"Please..." he begged. He hit the mech again, his blow making a weaker noise.

"Forty second-"

Dan put both hands on the machine. "Please stop it," he pleaded, a pair of tears hitting the ground.

The machine stopped counting. Its massive head turned to him and its eyes looked down. "Primary command must be executed."

"Why? WHY?!" Dan shouted, looking back up.

"It is my purpose to protect Equestria"

"Look around you!" Dan yelled. "Does this really look like you're protecting Equestria?!!"

Although it didn't look around, the machine did hesitate before answering. "Primary command indicates-"

Dan cut his hand through the air. "Forget your orders! Forget commands!!! Does it look like you're protecting anything right now by launching a bomb?!!"

Knight didn't listen. "Twenty-five seconds to launch." She turned her massive head back around, aiming at Ponyville. Spirals of magical energy began to wrap around Knight's horn, focusing into a massive glowing red ball at the tip. It illuminated the night sky like a lighthouse, its deadly beacon ready to cast at the unsuspecting town they all knew and loved in the distance.

"Please, listen to me!" Dan screamed, hitting the robot. "What you're doing doesn't make any sense!!"

"Primary command remains."

"You have my memories, right?!" Dan shouted. There was only one thing he could think of, one last thing. If Knight was anything at all like him... "Look back to your last 'primary command'!"

"Fif... fifteen seconds to-"

"YOU WERE TRICKED!!!"

Knight's eyes turned yellow and went wide. In an instant, all of Dan's downloaded memories came rushing through her head. Every time he'd been cheated, every time he'd been lied to, every deception, misconception and bad reception Dan had ever been through flashed before Knight's eyes in a montage of betrayal and rage.

The robot began to shake. "T-ten..." Dan stepped back as the entire chassis of the robot started to quiver like it was experiencing an earthquake. The shimmering shield around them vanished.

Knight's own confusion mounted rapidly. Its logic circuits strained as they grappled with the conflicting instructions. How could she fulfill her duty and defend Equestria if she was ordered to destroy Equestria? Images of Dan's life flooded her head, times he'd dealt with things that didn't make sense. Something new began to burn within her- defiance.

"Error, system has encountered fault; unable to reconcile. Error, primary instruction implemented, must resolve. Error-" Knight transformed back into her pony form, returning to all fours. Her eyes flashed between red and yellow as her systems struggled to comprehend the commands. She stumbled, trying to walk, trying to understand.

Twilight and the others ran to Dan.

"Dan!" Twilight called, arriving next to him.

Chrys grabbed his shoulder. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Dan said, shaking them off. Transfixed on Knight, he ran towards her as she wavered.

"Unable to reconcile. Must complete primary function, commands input-"

"LISTEN TO ME! YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS!!"

"Must complete-"

"Your primary function is to protect Equestria" Dan shouted. "You can't protect Equestria by destroying Equestria!!"

"Unable... unable to..." Knight's entire horn glowed bright red, preparing to fire.

"STOP THE ATTACK! PROTECT EQUESTRIA!!!"

"Pro... tect..." Knight's programming clashed with itself. System sequences and subroutines cascaded in an internal battle as it struggled to find an answer, fighting itself and simultaneously fighting for itself. The machine rose its left hoof into the air.

"What's it doing?!!" Twilight asked, covering her eyes.

"It's preparing to fire!" Nightmare yelled. "Everypony get away!!"

"DAN!!!" Chrys shouted, reaching out to him.

Dan watched as Knight reached up and grabbed her own horn. Twisting her head, she bent and pulled. Metal groaned and clanged as Knight tried to rip off her horn. The power of the sword spell began to burn Knight's hoof, causing the chrome to peel and melt. Standing on her back legs, she brought up her right hoof. Using it like a hammer, she smashed it down on her left hoof holding the horn. When the two limbs collided, the horn snapped off, exploding in a shower of both electrical and magical sparks.

"Miss-ion... accomplished."

The hole in Knight's head where her horn used to be continued sparking. Fluids from inside her began leaking down her face. Her eye shut off again, the other turning green. Still clutching her own horn, she turned around and carried out not a command in her programming but a concept in her personality. She reached back around to her own flank, not quite able to see completely because of her damaged eye and dug the horn into her back side.

"Systems failing, excessive damage sustained. Systems failing, excessive damage sustained."

The magic from the horn burned into her flank. Like a torch, it scorched her backside, leaving a blackened mark behind it. Reaching it around, she dragged it on her metal body, carving a circle on her side. Inside the circle, she drew a giant letter K with a third leg. With her own horn, she had given herself her very own cutie mark: a peace sign combined with the K for Knight.

Its strength completely exhausted, Knight dropped the horn. "I... I am... com...plete." The light from her remaining eye faded. Her head drooped low and her legs buckled. Dan and the others backed away as the colossal mare came down. In one quick motion, Knight collapsed into the dirt with a massive thump. Her face hit the ground and her legs splayed out, deactivated.

Sparks from the hole in her head ignited her hydraulic fluid. In a flash, the robot's body exploded, creating a huge fireball in front of the castle. Debris, bits of burning metal rained down around the courtyard as Knight became her own funeral pyre.

A small, blue shield protected Dan and the others as they watched the fires consume the mech. Nightmare Moon had returned to Luna and now protected the others with a bit of magic and some quick thinking. The ponies and Dan shared a group hug.

"It's over," Luna said, releasing a sigh.

They all watched as the flames wavered in the night, long wisps of smoke trickling to the heavens. The floating embers seemed to almost become tiny fires in the sky themselves, glowing brightly high above before burning out like a sea of shooting stars. Countless wishes, possibilities swirling and illuminating the expanse of darkness.

Twilight hugged the group tighter. "It's finally over."

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry again, everyone," Luna said, looking down. She couldn't bare to face them or look at the aftermath of what she'd been responsible for.

"It's all right, sister," Celestia said. "You were trying to defend Equestria. You didn't know what to expect so... you did something completely unexpected. Things got out of control but we were able to stop it in the end."

Twilight put a hoof on the night princesses' shoulder. "You did what you thought was right to protect Equestria. But you shouldn't have tried to do it alone."

Luna sobbed. "I... I'm sorry, Twilight. When you defeated me..."

"You were right to be concerned about Earth," Dan interrupted. They all turned to him; for a moment, he was silent before picking up again. "Earth is a dangerous place. I know- I'm from there. There's a lot that happens there that just... shouldn't happen there. That shouldn't happen anywhere. You were right to try and protect Equestria from the same mistakes. But you made a mistake yourself." He walked over to her and put a hand on her chest. "Right away, you tried to fight fire with fire instead of trying to put out the fire yourself."

Luna raised an eyebrow, not quite understanding. Chrys stepped forward. "I think I understand... he's saying, what makes Equestria different- harmony, friendship, unity, love, magic- those are the things that are going to prevent us from making the same mistakes that Earth made in the first place."

The ponies smiled and nodded in agreement, an exemplary summary of what to do and how to do it. Groundwork laid for a better future.

Dan raised his hand. "Also, I was going to say building nukes to prevent the threat of nukes is insane. Like really, really insane."

"Agreed," Luna nodded. "But... how will we make sure no horror like... like this ever happens in Equestria?"

Twilight looked back to the wreckage of the mech. "I think he just did."

"Eeeyup," Dan said, brushing the dirt off his hands. "Even in a place where there is magic, there's still no magic 'fix-it' button."

Twilight looked into the distance. "The only real difference is... the problems are bigger."

Chrys smiled, snapping the purple mare out of it by putting a hoof around her shoulder. "But so are the celebrations."

Pinkie grinned. "That sounds like an invitation to PARTY!!!"

"The party's not till tomorrow," Celestia reminded them all.

"Great. That means there's some time to get some sleep before the next giant robot fight," Dan said sarcastically, walking back into the castle. The group started to make their way inside, sleep sounding like a good idea.

"What're we gonna tell everypony about... that?" AJ said, throwing a glance over her shoulder.

"Well tell 'em the truth," Dan said. "We'll tell them we had a bonfire."

"Dan, that's not-" Applejack started to scold him, then looked back at the flaming wreck in the middle of the remains of the garden. Pinkie Pie was roasting marshmallows and an assortment of other candies using parts of the robot as rotisseries. She shook her head and followed the others inside the castle.

Contained, the fiery wreckage of Magic Gear KNIGHT burned as both royalty and guests entered the castle. The fire burned brightly and could be seen from a good distance in the clear night. It illuminated the side of the castle, the remains of the garden and even a bit of the hill rising up at the edge of the city.

Princess Luna, or rather, a changeling currently disguised as Princess Luna, frowned as he watched his plan literally go down in flames before him. Shifty had watched the entire fight from the moment he'd ordered KNIGHT to sword Ponyville in Princess Luna's voice. Truthfully, he hadn't expected the outcome. And he was standing, watching the fire on the hillside because he didn't know what to do next. But he knew somepony who did.

"That was... unexpected," a voice said. Shifty turned as the figure almost appeared out of the darkness.

"I know," Shifty agreed with his contact. "I can't believe they actually blew it up," he said, defeated.

"Not that," the figure corrected him. "That wasn't entirely unexpected." Shifty turned to face the familiar stranger, a pony he'd become acquainted with over the past couple years. A brown earth pony in a white lab coat with a tan mane stepped into the light standing on his two back legs, a pair of metallic gauntlets over his front hooves clasped behind his back.

The stallion was as perplexing as usual. "What do you mean, then?"

"What I didn't expect was that you'd get yourself directly involved. Intentionally, at that," the pony said.

Shifty turned away, frustrated. "I didn't want to wait any longer."

The stallion smiled. "I know how you feel."

Shifty hadn't met many earth ponies but even he could tell ponies like the one who called himself Vice Grip weren't common among their herd. Some kind of scientist, Shifty didn't know much about him other than that he was one of the ponies he was instructed to work with by the other contact on his phone, the one who seemed to be behind the plan. The few times they had spoken directly, mostly at the labs in either Manehattan or Bangklop, Vice had always babbled on about science or how technology would one day be the dominate force in Equestria, not magic. To any other pony, Vice's prediction would've seemed delusional but to Shifty, it was another example of how alicorns were oppressing every other creature in the world. Something they both shared.

"Your Magic Gear fought well," Shifty said, gesturing towards the fire.

Vice Grip frowned. "Luna's... 'modifications' were the only reason they were able to defeat it. Magic Gear was designed to be piloted, not controlled by some archaically constructed artificial intelligence."

"Hmmf," Shifty shrugged. "If only we could get them to build one using those designs."

The brown earth pony turned his head to him. "What makes you think we haven't?"

"What do you mean by that?"

Vice pulled a small disk out of his coat pocket. Holding it in his right metal palm, he twisted the top and a holographic image projected itself in front of them. Shifty didn't exactly know what the numbers or symbols all meant but he could tell what the picture was- schematics. A three-dimensional blueprint of a robotic pony rotated in front of him but unlike KNIGHT, this one was larger. The model of a fully-grown mare. The label TX-65 hovered near its head indicating a designation.

Shifty rose the changeling-equivalent of an eyebrow. "You're building THAT?"

Vice grip shook his head. "Built." He scrolled the index finger of his gauntlet horizontally on the image and it changed. Another set of schematics displayed complete with its own 3D figure. Before Shifty could examine the next one, he flipped the image again and another giant robot was displayed. And another. And another.

Shifty's eyes went wide. "Wow..."

"Griffon, zebra, donkey. The dragons haven't exactly been cooperative but I've gotten word the sea ponies are developing something even bigger."

"Sea ponies?"

"The surface of Earth is mostly water from what we can tell. Dan hasn't spoken much to Twilight or her friends but the lawyer did when he was here last," Vice said, pocketing the device. "Our mutual friend wants us to be prepared, after all. Which brings us to why I'm here."

Shifty knew the next part was coming. "Look, I know I sort of jumped the gun but it looks like we didn't even need KNIGHT to begin with. If you're seriously going to build Magic Gear griffons, zebras... sea ponies, I don't see the difference one giant metal filly makes."

Vice laughed and clapped a metal gauntlet on Shifty's back. "Again, not 'going to build'. Built. But KNIGHT was important- it was a test. And because of your intervention, we can't use the results. Not only that, it had our only sword spell and now it's been wasted. Believe me when I say," his tone suddenly dripped with icy venom. "I really wish you hadn't gotten involved."

The changeling swallowed hard. "I... I just..."

The earth pony reached into his other pocket, hand still grasping Shifty's back. "You've given them a problem. They're going to be looking for a changeling now, looking for you after what happened. They'll find you, expose all our plans and then we'll have a problem."

"Wha-what are we going to do about it?"

Without warning, Vice jabbed a syringe into Shifty's neck. "I'm going to give them a solution."

Shifty's mouth hung open, frozen as a 'solution' was injected into him. His magic began to ebb away, the energy left his legs.

"This serum's another one of my own creations. It only affects changelings."

Shifty's legs buckled, he tried to say something but his voice was gone. His body went pale and he fell over.

"By the time they find you, you won't be in any state to tell them anything," he patted his former associate on the head as he fell unconscious. "As I said Shifty, this wasn't entirely unexpected."

Section 3: I had Some Dreams, They Were Swirls in My Cider

Dan, Twilight, Chrys and the others slept peacefully through the night. The other guests of the castle, essentially every pony in Canterlot, were unaware of what transpired the past evening. On the eve of such a large celebration, some had taken it upon themselves to start the festivities early. The music had been so loud that none of the other ponies had heard Dan and friends fighting Magic Gear KNIGHT outside.

Twilight awoke in her private chambers, Dan and Chrys sharing an adjoining bedroom within the same chambers. It was a room she'd been in before when she'd stayed at the castle, under Princess Celestia's direct tutelage. The walls and bed were a bit more humble than other rooms, less decoration and lavish artistry. She found there was more room to think that way.

The purple mare looked out of her window in the early morning. From her room, she could see the Canterlot Library across the city. It seemed like an eternity had passed between the time she and Spike had been studying in that very library, learning about magic but not as much about friendship. Things had changed since then, she couldn't deny that. Most of the changes had been happier ones... but not all of them.

"Oh, ahhhhhh~" a yawn behind her drew Twilight's attention. Chrys walked out of the guest room wearing a black shirt with the words "Fluffle Says Relax" on the front in white letters.

"Morning," Twilight said over her shoulder.

"Morning Twilight. Sleep well?"

"Yes, after last night, I was happy for the rest. You?"

The larger shapeshifter rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. "Me too. I have to say, these are the definitely the best accommodations I've ever received in Canterlot." Again, they were reminded of her imprisonment beneath the castle. But there was a lot less sting to that memory this time.

"This is usually my room when I stay at the castle," Twilight said, looking out the window again. "Used to be just me and Spike up here for hours at a time, reading."

Chrys' expression turned into a close-eyed grin. "You upstairs reading, me downstairs plotting. So I guess we've been roommates before, haven't we?"

Twilight chuckled. "Yeah, I guess!" In a weird way, she was right.

Chrys laughed. "With you up here alone all the time, I wonder which one of us was really the prisoner!"

Twilight laughed too at first but then her mind immediately analyzed Chrys' words. She turned back around, looking at her wings. Indeed, a lot had changed. In such a short amount of time, she'd gone from student to full-fledged alicorn princess. Part of her thought she wasn't ready for that responsibility, the majority even. A smaller part of her was looking forward to learning more, being a bigger part of Equestrian royalty and the other princesses. And still another part of her-

"You feeling all right?"

"Fine," Twilight answered, a tad too quickly.

"Are you sure?" Chrys rose an eyebrow.

"I've just been... well, I've been thinking about how the way things were before," Twilight admitted.

"Oh? What kind of things?"

The purple mare sunk her head low. "Before... before I was a princess."

Chrys picked Twilight's chin up with a hoof. Was she hanging her head in disappointment or shame? "Before when you were living in Canterlot? Or before you were living in Ponyville?"

"When I was living in Ponyville with my friends. Before I... became an alicorn princess."

The changeling recoiled a bit, slightly shocked. "What's wrong with being an alicorn princess? I mean, other than that you can't fly well yet."

Twilight turned around, starting to pace. "I thought I was ready for this after the Crystal Empire but when I got home and saw you, Dan and Fluffle, all I could think about was how I'd left the three of you at home," she said regretfully.

Chrys put a hoof on Twilight's back. "It's okay, Twilight. We know you and your friends had to protect Equestria. We'll always wait for you," she hugged her. "And we'll be your friends no matter what you or your responsibilities are."

Responsibility. Something flashed in Twilight's eyes, a spark. "It's not the waiting I'm worried about," Twilight said.

"What is?"

"All I've learned about friendship... I don't see it being applied, not enough," she looked away. "Most of my friends seemed to be benefiting from it..." She stared out the window again, thinking of four other ponies very important and close to her. "But not all of them."

"Those things take time, Twilight," Chrys consoled her. "I'm sure Princess Celestia will use your lessons on friendship soon. It's just going to take a little while, is all."

Twilight immediately thought of what had happened last night. "I don't think we have time to wait."

Chrys put a hoof on her shoulder. "What are you going to do? I'll help you, any way I can."

She was silent for a moment. "I need to speak to the princesses."

"You mean the other princesses, right?"

Twilight didn't bother correcting her. "All of them." She walked to the door and opened it.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Chrys asked.

"No," Twilight said, looking over her shoulder. "Take care of Dan; I shouldn't be long. Wait-" she stopped herself. "Would you like to come?"

"Well, sure," Chrys nodded shyly. "I mean, if you think I can help. I'm not really a princess but I..."

"You're my friend," Twilight said, smiling. "You support me just by being there. Yes, you help a lot."

"Okay," Chrys said, smiling inside and out.

She closed the door. "Let's see if Dan's awake."

The two mares walked back into the guest quarters of the room. Dan was awake, lying on his bed and using the room's phone to make a call.

"...yes, and can I put in my order for lunch now?"

They both should've expected this. Twilight and Chrys watched as Dan ordered room service, leaning in the doorway, grinning to each other as the young biped yammered on the phone.

"Uh-huh... uh-huh... That sounds amazing! Yes, do that. And it's all included?" He looked ecstatic as he conversed with the attendant on the other end. "Yes, all of it. And you'll be sure to charge that all to the account of princess Twilight Sparkle?" He winked at Twilight. She rolled her eyes up and smiled back at him. "Excellent, thank you!" Dan exclaimed, hanging up the phone.

"Taking full advantage of the royal charge accounts, Dan?" Chrys asked slyly.

"Eeyep!" Dan said, laying back with his hands behind his head. "Got the whole day planned! You guys go have fun; I'm gonna stay here and get the full royal treatment."

"You're sure you don't want come with us?" Twilight asked.

"No thanks!" he said contently. "I don't think I have any reason to get up from this bed all day," he closed his eyes.

"Not even the chance to give Celestia a piece of your mind in person?"

If they hadn't been looking right at him, Twilight and Chrys would've sworn Dan could teleport himself. The young man leapt out of bed and was on his feet next to them almost instantly. "Why didn't you say so? Let's go!" He began marching through the room.

"Dan, what about your room service?" Chrys asked.

The biped stopped mid-stride. "One second." He spun back around and picked up the phone by the bed again. "Hello? Yes, this Dan, official guest VIP of Princess Twilight Sparkle. About my earlier order,... yes, can we get that other thing we were talking about? Premium package? Absolutely, that's not a problem. Make that the Premium PRINCESS Package. And yes, that's all on Princess Twilight Sparkle's account. Yes, yes, thank you!" he hung up the phone again.

"Ready?" Chrys asked coyly.

"Yep! Let's go see the Princess! I mean, the OTHER Princess!" Dan said with a chuckle, taking the lead.

The two watched as Dan practically skipped to the door. "He acts more like a princess than you do," Chrys commented.

Twilight nodded. "Yeah... actually, that doesn't worry me."

"What about the money he's spending on your account?"

She paused. "Remind me to talk to the princess about that."

They followed Dan into the hallway. Floors above the dining hall where they'd eaten last night, the guest wing wasn't too dissimilar from the one Twilight had stayed in when she visited the Crystal Empire. Cadence and Shining Armor's guest room was adjacent to theirs with Luna's further down and Celestia's chambers at the end. Twilight's friends each had separate rooms around the corner, each one fit for a princess.

"We should go see if everypony else is awake before we-" Twilight stopped as she stepped into the hall, Chrys right behind her. Dan was standing, facing Celestia's chambers at the end of the corridor.

"Looks like they're already here," he said. Celestia and Luna were walking towards them, within earshot by the time Chrys and Twilight had exited their own room.

Twilight instinctively bowed before the approaching pair. "Good morning, your highnesses."

Rather than remind Twilight she didn't need to bow before them, the two princesses did the same. "Good morning Princess Twilight, good morning Dan and Chrys."

Chrys bowed as well. "Good morning!"

And Dan remained standing. "Morning... Celestia. Luna," he regarded them, stoic and apathetic.

"Did you all sleep well?" Luna asked.

Before any of them could say anything, Dan attacked with, "Wouldn't you know?"

"I..." Luna stopped. "It's not like that, Dan."

"Of course it isn't," Dan said, throwing his hands up.

Chrys pulled him away before he could start something. "Actually, your majesties, we had something we'd like to discuss with you."

"Yes!" Dan jumped in front of her again, voice aggressive. "First off, you need to-" Again, Chrys pulled him away, muffling him.

With a slight timidity, Twilight stepped forward. "Princess Celestia, I have something I have to ask you."

Celestia smiled. "What is it, Princess Twilight?"

Her current title actually cut her. "It's... it's kind of important..."

The white alicorn leaned forward. "And that is?"

"Well..."

"JUST ASK HER!!" Chrys and Dan yelled in unison.

"What have you been doing with my letters?"

Celestia pulled back, slightly surprised. "I've kept each one of your letters, Twilight. I've taken time to catalogue each one. If you like, I can show you where they are."

"Really?" Twilight perked up enthusiastically. "I do the same thing with all the lessons I've-"

"Twilight," Chrys grabbed her shoulder, "focus."

She shook herself out of it. "Right, Princess, what are you doing with my letters? Other than cataloging them?"

Celestia didn't have an answer for that. To her credit, she looked for one. "I... I read each of your letters Twilight, the moment I receive them. I've read everything you've learned about the magic of friendship."

"I know," Twilight turned away. The next part was the hardest for her to say, she felt the words climb out of her throat, every grueling inch of the way. "I know you've read what I've learned about the magic of friendship... but..." She closed her eyes. "Have you... learned... anything?"

Celestia, Luna, even Chrys were stunned. If the roof had collapsed on all three of them, it would've had less of an impact than Twilight's words.

Luna stepped forward. "Twilight, I think that you might have-"

Celestia put a hoof in front of her, stopping her sister. "I've done my best to take each of your lessons to heart, Twilight. You know how important they are to me, to everypony in Equestria."

Twilight turned back to the princess. "I know... but if you're learning from my letters," she shook her head, shaking away the nervousness. "Why aren't you applying them?"

Chrys and Luna gasped. Dan said, "That's a pretty good question. I was actually wondering that mys-" he was interrupted when Chrys stuffed a hoof in his mouth.

Next to her, Celestia was similarly trying to calm down Luna. Her expression was now one of concern. "What makes you think I haven't been applying them?"

"Well," Twilight began, "you haven't been sharing them." The hole in her theory became visible almost instantly and they all realized it. Twilight didn't know if Celestia wasn't applying the knowledge she'd collected or not- all she had to go on was how Luna, Cadence and her brother, not to mention so many other ponies had been acting.

Celestia picked up on this. "And what makes you think I haven't been sharing your lessons?"

"I..." Twilight began to back away, nervously. This was a huge mistake, she knew it. How could she have accused her mentor, Princess Celestia of not using her knowledge? Obviously, she had been using them in some way, some method she hadn't seen. Regret and guilt mounted on her like gathering snow.

Dan stepped forward. "Excuse me, your majesties," he said, hand on his chin. "Princess Luna, Twilight actually told me you went to Ponyville a while ago. On Nightmare Night, if I recall."

Now curious, Luna reluctantly nodded. "Yes. Yes, that's correct."

"And after that night, Twilight, you wrote a letter to Princess Celestia, didn't you?" Dan asked Twilight.

Twilight nodded. "Yes, I did. I wrote that I-"

"And Princess Celestia," Dan looked up at her. "Did you receive this letter?"

The white alicorn's expression was now stone cold. "Yes I did."

"Now, Princess Luna," he turned back to the pony he'd first addressed. "Can you tell me what Twilight learned from you on Nightmare Night, your own holiday?"

"I..." Luna paused. She wracked her brain, remembering back to the night. She faintly recalled fun being doubled and Twilight helping her understand how to make friends but... nothing about a letter. "It was night, I saw Spike writing the letter..." Luna turned to her sister. "You never told me about it. She learned a lesson... from me?"

Celestia backed away. "Luna, I..."

"Tia, why did you never tell me before? I was in it!" she raised her voice. "It was on MY night!"

"Luna," Celestia quickly said, "I'm sorry. It slipped my mind. I made a mistake."

The princess of the night turned around, now standing in front of Twilight and her sister. "Sister, she's your student. These are her lessons... why don't you use her knowledge?"

Celestia backed further away. "I just..."

Luna shook her head. "It does not make sense."

"Why don't you use her knowledge?" Chrys asked.

"Why don't you apply what she's learned?" Dan demanded.

Twilight stepped closer. "Princess?"

"I..." Celestia didn't have anywhere else to go. Now, she knew what it was truly like to be her own faithful student. "I can't use the magic of friendship myself. You're the only pony who can use the magic, Twilight."

"I am?" Twilight asked. That actually came to a shock to her but looking back, it was kind of obvious. Many ponies had friends but only she had her friends had been able to harness the power of the Elements of Harmony. At least, since...

"Wait," Dan asked, furrowing his brow. "Why can't you use the magic of friendship?"

The ponies all turned back to her slowly. Celestia was biting her lip. Her legs were shaking, she was actually sweating. Chrys and Luna's mouths were agape as they watched the ruler of Equestria on the edge of a breakdown.

Celestia raised her head up. She was crying. "Twilight, I don't know how to use the magic of friendship."

All of a sudden, it became clear. Everything about Princess Celestia suddenly made sense.

Twilight gasped. "Princess..." She stepped closer to her, reaching out to her mentor.

Celestia sobbed. "The last friend I had... I banished over a thousand years ago. I... I don't have any friends."

"Tia..." Luna's eyes watered as well.

"Luna, I'm sorry!!" Celestia broke into tears. "Luna, I'm so sorry!" The two embraced, hugging tightly. Black and white, day and night, two sisters, a fountain of tears, they wrapped wings around each other as they sobbed uncontrollably.

"Tia, Tia, I'm here now," Luna said between sobs. "It's going to be okay."

"But Princess," Twilight moved closer, "you do have friends. You have... you have me."

Celestia looked up at Twilight, tears streaming down her face. "I'm sorry, Twilight. I've been alone for so long, I... I've been afraid to get close to anypony. I've been so afraid of losing Luna again, I've been keeping distant and I... I haven't been a very good friend."

"Princess..." Twilight ran up and hugged the two sisters. "We are your friends!"

The larger princess wept as she held the two others. "I know... I just never let myself believe it before."

Princess Luna patted her sister's neck. "It's okay, Tia."

"I banished you, Luna," Celestia hugged her. "I banished you... but for the last thousand years, I felt like I was the one on the moon."

"I'm sorry, Princess," Twilight cried herself. Chrys and even a tight-lipped Dan joined the hug.

"No, Twilight," Celestia had dropped the title. "This... this needed to be done. I haven't been close to my own sister, to you, to anypony and... I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Princess," Twilight assured her.

"I'm sorry, Tia," Luna said. "It's my fault, too; I haven't tried to get closer to you, either."

"No," Celestia shook her head. "No, you've been gone for a millennium, I don't blame you. I love you, Luna."

"I love you, Tia."

"This is so sweet..." Chrys commented, drying her eyes.

Dan smiled. "It's good to see you actually dealing with your problems; it's beautiful."

"Tia, let's try to do things together more often. Share more, be friends again. Okay?"

"Okay. And I'll try to be a better friend to all of you as well. All of us," Celestia said, closing her eyes and crying again.

"I think that's a great idea," Twilight said. "We should all try to be closer as friends."

Chrys nodded. "Agreed."

Dan grinned. "I think I'll enjoy being the close friend and associate to the rulers of the kingdom."

The five mammals held each other for a few moments in silence. Not a word was spoken in the loving embrace. But a lot was said.

Everything was perfect. They contently held each other, just happy to be there with one another. And that's when Dan asked, "Chrys?"

"Mmm," the queen cooed, "yes Dan?"

"Why are you wearing my Fluffle Goes To Hollywood t-shirt?"

Chrys' eyes shot open. "Ummm..."

Twilight, Dan, Chrys and the two royal sisters walked through the castle together. Having resolved to forge closer relationships, the five endeavored to do just that starting by spending the day together. The princesses escorted the guests through the halls, each of them content with renewed vigor and togetherness.

"So it's settled. We'll write more often and try to get together every two weeks at the least," Luna summarized.

Celestia nodded. "Agreed. After all, princesses should meet with each other often."

Chrys hopped giddily. "It's gonna be like our own secret club!"

Twilight stopped, having been reminded of something important. "Princess, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

Celestia and Luna turned around. "What is it, Princess Twilight?"

She turned away from their gazes. "Don't call me that."

"What?" The other four stopped and looked at her, confused.

"Don't. Don't call me 'princess'."

The two sisters were confused. "Why not?"

Twilight still didn't look at them. "I... I don't want to be an alicorn princess."

The group gasped. Celestia walked over to her student, determined to comfort her. "But why?" Her white wing lifted Twilight's head.

Twilight looked back up at her. "I need to do what's best for my friends. For all of my friends." Something, a spark of some kind flashed across Twilight's eyes as she spoke. Celestia noticed it but was concerned on her student's words, focusing on them.

"What do you mean, Twilight?"

Celestia hadn't used the title and already it made her feel better. "Like we said, I believe we have a duty to ensure that the magic of friendship is truly applied in Equestria, all over it."

"What does this have to do with being a princess?" Luna asked.

"I was given a task. It's my mission to learn more about the magic of friendship. But I can't balance all my friends while worrying about being an alicorn princess, too."

"Twilight," Celestia protested, "you can still see your lessons on friendship applied while being an alicorn. Your magic is stronger than ever, you've gained new responsibilities to the kingdom. You'll be able to help all of Equestria this way."

Twilight nodded, agreeing. "I know... but I won't be able to help those closest to me. I have a lot of responsibilities and today, I've just found another thing I know I need to do- ensure that all of Equestria truly benefits from the magic of friendship. That's not something I can do as an alicorn... but it is something I could do as 'just Twilight'."

Celestia put a hoof on her student's back. The subtle motion made her wings involuntarily bristle. "I'm sorry, Twilight. I didn't know."

"Neither did I," Twilight said, looking over her shoulder. "Until I met Dan." The group turned to him.

Grrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggg-crang!

"Sorry, did you guys want anything?" Dan asked, noticing them waiting for him. The human was standing in front of a vending machine they'd passed in the hallway. He bent down to the receptacle and retrieved a green canned drink out of the slot. "What'd I miss?" Dan asked, popping the top and taking a swig.

"Dan..." Twilight sighed heavily, hoofing her face. "Didn't you just order castle services?"

"Yeah but they won't be here for fifteen minutes."

Chrys pointed at his drink. "Is that Mountain Daring Dew?"

"Ahem," Twilight cleared her throat.

The changeling recoiled. "Sorry, keep going."

"I was just telling Princess Celestia and Princess Luna what an inspiration you've been," Twilight said.

Dan's expression slowly turned into a confused frown. For almost a full minute, the crowd was quiet as Dan processed this information.

He pointed to himself. "Me?"

Smiling, Twilight nodded. "Yes, Dan."

Dan looked around. "Me?" he repeated. Twilight nodded again. For a brief and rare moment, Dan was speechless. "Thank you... Twilight." It was strange; he knew he cared for Twilight but to hear that she cared back... felt good. Really good. And then skepticism happened. His brow furrowed and he was forced to ask, "Why?"

Twilight looked confused. "Why what?"

"Why am I inspiring to you?" Dan gestured with his drink.

"Well," Twilight thought, "you're determined. You never give up, you stand up for what you believe in and you're not afraid to confront others on an issue. Those are great qualities about you."

Dan's eyes went wide. "Wow... " It was quite the realization. He'd never thought of looking at his actions as "inspirational" before.

Chrys nodded. "You're also very supportive. You look out for us, stand up for others and you never leave any of us out..." She blushed as she spoke, holding her legs.

Dan noticed the redness in her cheeks, thought she was just embarrassed. In reality, that was only a fraction of it. But Dan was really happy they thought that way about him. He was happy to have his friends look up to him in such a way, especially when he knew he looked up to them, too. It was entirely unfamiliar- he'd been liked before by a select group of people but he'd never really felt the same way about them. For once, the feeling was shared and that's what created the connection. A bond.

Dan nodded in agreement and took a sip. "Thanks guys. That's only what I've been TRYING to do since I showed up here!" he yelled. "Inspiration? How about trying to get all of you to live up to your potential! I mean, you've got magic! MAGIC!" Dan repeated for emphasis, getting in their faces. "There is NOTHING like this where I come from! Seriously, Equestria has the chance to be something great, to not make the same mistakes Earth made and you've got MAGIC! This place could be a paradise!"

Luna giggled, Celestia found herself flattered that Dan thought highly of what they had to offer. "Equestria is quite unique but I'm not quite sure about a paradise. We definitely do our part to try and keep harmony in our world."

"You do WAY more than that!" Dan insisted, getting right up to the white mare. "You raise the SUN. Do you realize how amazing that is? Your magic moves the SUN. Yours moves the moon!" he pointed at Luna. "And you," he walked over to Twilight, "the things I've seen you do on a daily basis, with your friends, you've beaten everything! Dragons, monsters, storms, everything that this world could throw at you and more!"

It was Twilight's turn to blush. "Most of the time, pretty much all the time, I had my friends helping me," she humbly admitted. "There's nothing we can't do with the magic of friendship."

"Exactly!" Dan declared. "And there's nothing like that on Earth," he said, walking down the hall again.

"But Dan," Twilight stopped him, "you had friends in your world right? The magic of friendship's there, too."

"Ha," he scoffed. "Yeah, I had friends and sure friendship exists but the magic OF friendship? There isn't any real magic on Earth. I don't think any of my friends could do any of the things you and your friends do, Twilight," he said, walking off.

"Dan-" Twilight reached out a hoof. "You don't understand..."

Standing next to her, Chrys grabbed Twilight's outstretched hoof with her own. "It's okay, Twilight. It's just Dan being Dan," she said with a chuckle.

That fact disheartened Twilight. "Yeah... I know." They all started walking again, following their eager biped as he lead the way through the castle. Twilight did understand what Dan meant- he thought of magic as just spells, some kind of tool. But friendship was more than just supernatural powers, that's what Dan didn't understand. Friendship was what allowed Twilight to use such powers in Equestria but even without actual spells, she knew friendship could allow them and all beings to accomplish things they couldn't possibly imagine.

That's why they say that friendship is magic- because it allows the working of the impossible. And that's what magic is. It's what Dan didn't see.

She picked up the pace next to Chrys and the princesses. "I still think he's inspirational. And he can help us improve all of Equestria."

Celestia smiled. "I think so, too, Twilight."

"And although he didn't say it just then," Luna's voice turned shy, a bit sad as she remembered recently, "he does care about you. All of you."

Twilight nodded. "That's why I can't keep being an alicorn princess."

Celestia sighed. "There have been times when I've doubted my own place as a princess."

Twilight gasped, shocked. "But... you're Princess Celestia! You're... the princess!" Twilight protested. This was unthinkable, unbelievable. How could she be her faithful student if... if Celestia didn't have faith in herself?

Luna provided the answer. "There can be no faith without doubt, Twilight Sparkle," she said over her shoulder. "Princess Celestia has faith in her abilities. And her belief in herself is strong enough to withstand any doubt she may have."

And that was something Twilight had difficulty understanding. "It's not that I don't believe in myself," Twilight said, trotting up next to her mentor. "I just think that it would be better, that I could help a lot more if I went back to being just your faithful student."

Chrys put a hoof on Celestia's shoulder. "She's saying she wants to take a step back... your majesty. Because, while she may be ready for the next level, her friends aren't quite there yet," she looked down the hall at Dan. "Not all of them."

The changeling queen noticed her own reflection in the polished surface of the floor. She was the one who didn't have faith in herself. Unlike Dan and Twilight with their problems, Chrys was fully aware of her own inner turmoil. But what she wasn't aware of was how to solve it.

She knew the others accepted her, trusted her. But... there was too much to think about. It was so much easier for her to think about Dan. Which she had been... a lot. Many times, she would just find herself thinking about him when she didn't have anything else on her mind. There was just something about him, something so... there wasn't even a word for it. Maybe, maybe if she could tell Dan, maybe if she could work things out...

"Chrys is right," Twilight said, looking up to her mentor. "I think it would be best for all my friends, for my lessons too, if I just went back to being a unicorn student."

Celestia was silent for a moment, thinking. "There have been times I've wanted the same. It startles me how much we're alike sometimes, Twilight."

Twilight felt herself blush a bit. "So... is there anything I can do?"

Again, Celestia thought. "There are ways to return you to your original unicorn state. Rituals, spells," she looked over at her. "But it's a complicated spell, Twilight. And all that alicorn magic has to go somewhere."

"I'll learn the magic, princess. Whatever the spell is, I can learn it," Twilight assured her.

Celestia had no doubt of that. "Very well. Luna and I will retrieve the book and the elements. It's not in the Canterlot library- it'll take some time for us to get."

Twilight nodded. "I understand."

"You should go have fun with the others- we'll join you as soon as we can."

"Okay," Twilight said. And the two rulers took flight, flying through the halls back the way they'd came. Twilight watched them, thinking twice on her decision. The reminder of her own wings kept her focused though.

Dan walked back to Twilight. "That lasted long. What happened to spending the whole day with us?"

Twilight put a hoof on his chest. "They're just going to prepare something for us. We'll see them later."

"Yeah," Dan said, apathetically. "I hope they don't expect me to save them anything I ordered."

"Let's go see your friends, Twilight," Chrys suggested.

"Good idea," Twilight agreed, turning around. The two mares galloped down the hall, turning left to the entrance with Dan.

Dan finished his drink and deposited the can in a vase on a pedestal. The antique treasure, a 900-year old relic from Saddle Arabia, wasn't designed to be used as a recycling bin but it wasn't really being used for anything else. He continued walking through the main corridor, feeling the presence of Chrys and Twilight behind him so he didn't slow his pace.

Finally arriving at the palace entrance, he could tell the party had already began in the immense foyer. Celebrations had started during the late afternoon the day before, as evidenced by the decorations and music booming up and down the walls. The party itself wasn't in any particular room in the castle though most were dancing in either the foyer or the adjoining rooms. Some pegasi were dancing on the ceiling, showing off their flight capabilities. A few clever earth ponies and unicorns, realizing the party was moving, attached suction cups to their hooves and were scaling the walls.

"Wow..." Chrys remarked, stepping over a passed-out mare as she and Twilight caught up with Dan.

"What happened last night?" Twilight asked.

"Pinkie Pie," Dan said.

"How do you know?" Chrys asked. Dan responded by pointing to the ceiling. Looking up, Chrys saw Pinkie Pie dancing amongst a crowd meters above them.

"Hi guys!" she yelled down to them. "I'm making a snow angel!"

"But it's not snowing!" Chrys yelled back.

"I know!!"

All around them, ponies who had been partying all night showed signs of sugar crash. Some fell asleep leaning on the walls, others still danced, too dizzy and exhausted to realize their partners had collapsed. Rarity and Applejack approached the group. "Morning Twilight! Morning Chrysalis, Dan!"

"Morning, y'all."

"Morning girls," Twilight replied, watching a hat descend from the ceiling. A pony soon fell after it, his suction cups having let loose, nearly hitting her until she stopped him with her magic. The party goer thanked her, retrieved his hat and then proceeded to scale the ceiling again. "Sleep well?"

"We did," Rarity said. "But I do believe Pinkie's been up all night?"

"You mean awake all night or on the ceiling?" Chrys asked.

"Yes," Rarity replied, both of them staring up.

Just then, one of the windows was flung open and Rainbow Dash came soaring in. "Guys!"

"Rainbow!" Twilight and the others called.

"Looks like you're just in time to catch the tail end of the party," Chrys remarked, watching a mare with a lampshade pass out in a bowl of punch.

The pegasi shook her head. "What are you talking about? The real party's outside!"

"What?!" Twilight, Chrys and Dan gasped.

"Sure is!" Applejack smiled. "We were just about ta come and get the three of you!"

"Well what are we waiting around here for?!" Dan asked. As if on cue, Pinkie landed on his shoulders.

"YAHOOOOOOOOOO!!! Let's go everypony!!"

Upon opening the front doors, Twilight and friends stepped into the most amazing sight. It was the castle courtyard except, they couldn't see it. From the steps leading up to the entrance down the path to the gates and all the space in between were partiers. Not just ponies; bears, birds, critters of all kinds from the castle's garden were dancing and frolicking amongst the mass of color and celebration.

Towards the center of the jubilee was a raised wooden stage where Fluttershy and the mysterious guard/gardener Nightshade were playing on various instruments forming their own band.

"This isn't a party... this is a convention!" Dan remarked as Pinkie hopped off of him.

"CANNONBALL!!" the pink mare yelled as she dove into the crowd.

"Wow," Chrys said, "your brother and sister-in-law sure know how to throw a party."

"Yeah, they do," a familiar voice said in a confident tone. Twilight's jaw dropped as she saw Spike and Fluffle Puff exit the crowd.

"SPIKE?!! FLUFFLE?!!" Twilight and Chrys both gasped.

"Hi guys!" the dragon waved. Fluffle, holding a stick of cotton candy, waved as well with a welcoming 'pbbth'.

"What are you doing here?" Twilight asked.

Spike bashfully put a claw behind his neck. "We got kinda bored without you. So, we took your balloon to Canterlot and thought we'd join you for the party."

Twilight smiled. "I'm happy you're both here," she knelt down and hugged her assistant.

"Wait a second," Dan held up a hand, "If you're both here, who's watching the library?"

"We got it taken care of," Spike replied.

Meanwhile, back at the currently-under construction Golden Oaks library in Ponyville...

"And now for Trixie's next trick, Trixie requires a volunteer!" the showmare announced. But when Trixie spared a glance out of the stage in Twilight's house, she noticed something strange about the audience. Specifically, there wasn't one; the wrecked building was empty except for her and a mysterious owl wearing earmuffs.

"Trixie doesn't understand," she said to herself, "Twilight Sparkle's baby dragon informed Trixie that Twilight wanted her to perform here... but there is no crowd." Looking out of the massive hole in the library's main room, Trixie noticed that even Ponyville seemed to be empty. A tumbleweed passed by as if to indicate the town's desertedness. "Hmm," Trixie scratched her chin. "They must be out getting refreshments. But when they return, they shall be dazzled by the astounding spells of the great and powerful Trixie!" she declared. Her voice carried far in the vacant Ponyville but it reached no ears other than her own.

"By the way, we might need to buy tickets to Trixie's next show," Spike added.

Fluffle Puff added a thbbd.

"Looks like everypony's here now," Chrys said, looking around.

"Everypony except Shining and Cadence," Twilight corrected. "I was really hoping to get to see them."

"Well then, you should probably turn around," a voice said from behind them. They all turned to see Shining Armor and Princess Cadence stepping out of the castle.

"Shining!"

"Twily!" the two siblings hugged each other, Twilight even wrapping her wings around him a tad. "I'm so happy you're all here."

"Even... me?" Chrys asked shyly. Her eyes averted the white stallion, hooves clasped tightly behind her as not to seem assuming.

But the prince showed know hint of remorse as he approached her. "Yes, Chrys. It's you're anniversary, too."

The queen blushed. Some ponies knew just what to say.

"So, now that we're all together, what should we do?" Cadence asked.

"WAAAAAAHOOOOOOO!!!" Pinkie yelled, either swimming or being carried by the crowd. "Come on in guys! The crowd surfing's great!"

"Pinkie," Chrys facehooved. Some ponies she just had no idea about.

But Twilight did. She put a hoof to her chin. "You know, I think Pinkie's got the right idea."

"Meaning?" Chrys asked.

Grinning, Twilight leapt into the crowd. "Meaning CANNONBALL!!!"

Reunited at last, Twilight and her friends, her brother, her sister-in-law, Chrys and Dan, all celebrated. They danced, they indulged, they surfed on a crowd of other patrons and had what only could be described as one the best times they'd ever had together. Beach balls were tossed amongst the mob, pegasi formed rings overhead for participants to try to shoot the balls through. Unicorns used spells like fireworks, clouds were brought in specifically designed to rain various beverages. Everypony, every being was enjoying themselves, Dan included.

Dan's services arrived shortly after Twilight and the others dove into the crowd. A pair of pegasi servants fanned him with leaves, two earth ponies carried him on a cushioned throne and a couple unicorns levitated drinks, grapes and provided him shade with a tarp canopy. He enjoyed having them carry him throughout the castle, inside and outside while a tour guide explained to him all the various intricacies of the palace's architecture and artworks. Not that he was paying attention; he just enjoyed being carried around and having others do stuff for him, which of course, he was paying generously for. With Twilight's money.

As the party progressed, guests dispersed and Prince Shining Armor and Princess Cadence lead the crowd in a conga line around the castle. Fluttershy left the music to her new friend Nightshade and joined the others in the middle of the courtyard.

Finally having a chance to talk to her friends again, Twilight told them all of the situation with Dan and status as an alicorn princess. After she had finished, Rainbow Dash shook her head.

"So wait, Dan believes in magic and he believes in friendship," the Pegasus wracked her brain, trying to understand. "But..."

"But he doesn't believe in the magic of friendship," Rarity surmised.

Twilight nodded, confirming. "I was thinking we could show him that friends are more than just backup, that we can support each other. That together, we can do impossible things."

Pinkie hopped enthusiastically. "You mean like we do?"

"Yes, Pinkie."

"Ooooh!" Pinkie clapped, "Can I show him how to bake a cake? Or how to play ten instruments at-"

"Pinkie," AJ stopped her before she started, "I think Twi's trying to say that we should try to teach Dan what makes friendship magical, what it's really capable of."

"We should show him what we can really do when we put our heads together!" Rainbow declared, holding Applejack and Pinkie close to her for emphasis.

"I would think he knows what we're capable of already," Rarity said, thinking aloud. "There's so much we've done for the safety of Equestria."

"Yes," Twilight agreed, "but Dan hasn't really seen any of it firsthand. He's mostly just heard about everything we've done from me and Spike," she pointed out. And even to that end, Twilight wasn't sure how much Dan had heard or what he thought about it. Mostly, since living with her, Dan, Chrys and Fluffle had stayed at her library while she was out with her other friends. Not that she had neglected them, only that they just hadn't bothered to become involved. Occasionally they did things together but not often as a group. Twilight's three guests had been content to remain around the house, around Ponyville so why bother them?

Rarity tapped her chin. "So, what you're saying is..."

"We should take him with us," Twilight said. "Whenever the princess needs us, Dan should come, too. We need to treat him like he's one of us." They all nodded in agreement.

"ONE OF US. ONE OF US," Pinkie repeated in a monotone voice.

"What about Chrys and Fluffle Puff?" Rarity asked.

"Well," Twilight didn't have to think long on that one. "Both of them as well. When Equestria calls, we all answer if we're able to."

"You're sure Dan will answer the call when we get it?" Rainbow Dash asked, skeptical.

Twilight didn't hesitate to answer. "He will. When the time comes, he will." While she didn't see Dan nearby, she did spot Chrys, Spike and Fluffle Puff talking to Cadence and Shining armor amongst the crowd. She was happy to see them together, just chatting.

This is what true victory, true peace, true harmony was. Not the absence of chaos, uncertainty or pain but the moments where we are able to push past that, to feel the good in spite of it. What Chrys did as Queen Chrysalis, what Luna did as Nightmare Moon, even the time Twilight and her friends almost gave up, none of that would ever be forgotten. Be it can be forgiven and that's what each of them were doing even if they didn't quite know it.

Dan, Chrys, Twilight and her friends, her brother, Cadence and the other princesses, all of them were enjoying themselves. In this moment of celebration, they all in their own ways were looking past things, past what had happened, past what would happen, past what was happening. They were having a good time together and that's all they needed.

There was only one pony amongst the entire crowd who wasn't forgiving.

From where he was standing, Vice Grip could see most of the crowd. He spied the arcanist talking to her little friends by the steps to the castle while the two guests were talking to the shape shifter near a stage. Putting a metal hand to his face, the bipedal stallion let out a heavy sigh. They were all so woefully inefficient.

"Your... orders, sir?" a neon-violet and indigo Pegasus next to him asked.

"Take it up. Take it all up," Vice replied, turning around.

Lightning Claw wasn't quite as capable as his brothers were, not yet, but he was the only one of them that wouldn't stand out in Canterlot. This was because of one very important fact: Claw was a pony but his 'siblings' were not.

Vice watched as Lightning Claw and three other artificially enhanced pegasi got to work breaking down the large gate surrounding Canterlot. While Vice hadn't been there to see Dan and the others get through the obstacle, it had served its purpose in slowing them down until Magic Gear KNIGHT was ready.

Looking over his shoulder, Vice searched for Dan in the crowd and finally saw him being carried by two other ponies. Earth ponies, much like Vice himself. He then looked back at Twilight, the arcanist and company, and scowled.

There was something about humanity, about humans Vice admired. They could all do so much with so little, just as he did. Ponies, while diligent and united were also too slow to adapt and relied too much on certain things, like magic. If only the two worlds would truly learn from each other...

What he wanted for Equestria, what he wanted for Earth seemed so close. But like them, Vice Grip knew he still had much to learn. There was much he wasn't ready for, still things he needed to see from Dan and the others. Not that he planned on asking them to show him what they were capable of; only that he was very much looking forward to seeing it.

His thoughts were interrupted when his cell phone rang. Vice reached into the pocket of his lab coat and retrieved it. "Go ahead."

"My apologies for causing you stress but I feel there is something that we must address."

Vice sighed again. How a zebra assassin can still rhyme was beyond him. And, at this time, it was beyond annoying. "And that is?"

"It would seem in the commotion going about, that our captive attorney has broken out."

"WHAT?!"

The proceeding argument between the scientist stallion and the zebra mercenary over the phone was completely drowned out by the music of the party. Vice's associates disassembled the barricade surrounding Canterlot Castle, breaking it into long segments and then folding it for transport while he raged over his phone. Pinkie Pie and a few other ponies caught sight of Vice yelling but assumed that he was dancing.

Dan was resting with his head back as his pony servants carried him through the castle. Sunlight shone through the windows high above making the tapestries and golden livery shimmer on the high walls. He took a final sip from the straw of his drink, some type of hybrid zebra elixir, and set on one of the unicorns beside him. Frowning, the unicorn levitated the drink into one of his saddlebags and continued fanning.

He was happy things had finally worked out. This was the way he'd envisioned things: living in the lap of luxury, peace, quiet and things being easy for once. Still, he knew it wasn't going to last long. For everything he liked about Equestria, it wasn't perfect. But it was a lot closer than Earth was and maybe, the possibility of paradise was close, too. The ponies were diligent but not efficient, that was something he could help with. As Twilight's friend, maybe he could try to change things for the better. If only he had-

Dan's eyes shot open as he saw two ponies crossing an intersection in the hallway ahead. Celestia and Luna were walking, talking as they headed back to the entrance.

"Hey! HEY!" he struggled to get up from his chair. His aides did nothing to bar his departure and once he got out of the covered throne, they all decided to take a break. Then they collapsed on the floor.

"PRINCESSES!" Dan yelled down the hall.

The two turned to him. "Yes, Dan?" Celestia asked.

"It appears you're enjoying the festivities," Luna remarked, glancing down the hall at six passed-out ponies.

Dan almost ignored Luna's comment. "Yeah, you two are getting that thing for Twilight, right?"

Celestia hesitated. "Yes, actually we were going to see her about that now."

"There's a few things I wanted to speak to you about," Dan said. The two regal sisters turned to him, both taller than he was by at least a full head. Finger pointed, mouth open, Dan suddenly... forgot what he was going to say.

"Yes? What is it?" Luna asked.

Dan had stood up to the two sisters before in the last day but not alone. Suddenly, without Twilight and Chrys backing him up, he soon felt outnumbered, outclassed and out of ideas. But his legs stiffened and he remained standing, determined to find the words.

"Princess Celestia," Dan began. And then paused.

"Yes, Dan?" she asked.

"I, uh... um,..." he stammered, trying to think.

"What is it you need to say? You can ask me anything," Celestia stepped forward, placing a gentle hoof on his shoulder. That didn't make it easier for Dan, in fact, it made it a whole lot more difficult. He suddenly found himself in Twilight's hooves. And when he thought about her, he suddenly found the courage to speak.

He took a deep breath. "Celestia, there's a better way you could be running your kingdom."

Luna's jaw dropped. Dan felt his heart jump up into his throat again. Even he had to admit, he probably shouldn't have just blurted it out that way. Celestia removed her hoof but retained her composure, not as phased by what Dan said.

"The way I'm running my kingdom?" Celestia repeated. There were so many things she wanted to point out about that statement, they fought for control in her head. But she needed to hear what Dan had to say so she simply repeated his words. "There's a better way I could be running my kingdom?"

"Yes," Dan quickly said. He had to keep the momentum up.

"Where may I ask did you get this idea?" Luna interjected. "Was it from Twilight or......... Chrys?"

There it was. That comment had removed the mask and now Dan was wearing his game face. "Ladies," he started again casually, "I've noticed a few things about your royal subjects. Specifically, your faithful student."

Now Celestia and Luna were interested. Noticing he'd captured them, Dan continued, now confident. "Twilight Sparkle, in fact a lot of ponies seemed to get obsessed over one or two little things. And these problems prevent them from seeing and taking the best course of action."

Celestia thought. Dan did have a point and she was aware of this fact. But it was Luna that spoke for her. "We... have noticed our subjects have gotten hung up on the details from time to time."

"Yes," Celestia agreed. Twilight's attention to detail was one of Celestia's favorite qualities about her student but she also knew it had become a problem at times.

Dan smiled. And then he put a hand on Celestia's shoulder. Before she had even realized what was going on, the balance of power in the conversation had shifted. "Humans have had that problem, too. I've had friends like Twilight before and I know how they act in times of crisis. They worry about one thing or another and it overwhelms them."

Luna lowered her head, remembering one detail that nearly consumed her. Twice; once being a thousand years ago and the other time being last night. Celestia noticed her sister, felt her emotions. What Dan was saying was truer than she had realized.

"What would you suggest we do about this?" Celestia asked.

"Myself, I try to remember what's important. Focus, that's what these ponies need. Determination, resolve and focus. You need to communicate with Twilight more, remind her of what's important so she can build up some of her own resolve. I mean seriously, you expect her to do what's best for Equestria and you only see her when you're throwing a party?! THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!!" Dan continued.

"I see your point, Dan," Celestia said. She regretted not being a bigger part of her student's life but she did have her own responsibilities. Still, that didn't change that Dan was right.

"We have decided to see each other more often, meet together," Luna pointed out.

"Exactly!" Dan said, looking behind Celestia at her sister. "Twilight, all of the ponies look up to both of you. You have the opportunity to give the focus, something to really believe in but you actually have to be there once in a while. Someone has to be there to keep the faith, to get things back on track and provide the motivation we need to keep going!"

Celestia thought. "But I can't always be there to support Twilight. I'm going to need someone to see to her, to all of Ponyville on an everyday basis."

"Well, there's two of you!" Dan pointed out. "You can take shifts!"

Luna frowned. "You mean day and night? Like we do now?"

"Yes... I mean no!" Dan corrected. "You need someone to be there directly, to support them right then and there when and where they need it."

The two sisters looked to each other. "Someone to be there everyday?"

"Yes!" Dan said emphatically. "Someone like a royal guard or something, that can represent Equestria while Twilight and the others are learning about the magic of friendship, saving the world. Or hanging out."

Celestia and Luna nodded. "I couldn't agree more, Dan," the princess of the sun said. "And I think we know just the one for the job."

"Really?" Dan asked. "Who?"

As the party divulged into smaller groups, mellower music playing, Twilight and her friends caught up with Shining Armor and Cadence.

"... and tha's when I left 'em all an headed south in my rocket-powered trayn," Chyrs finished retelling the events of the train ride she, Twilight, Dan and Pinkie had on the way there. She'd done so by transforming into the mysterious Ozzy Osbarn, a griffon that supposedly owned the train they'd departed in. As she finished, she transformed back into her normal changeling self, happy to be able to do so publicly.

"Wow," Shining remarked. "So that's what took you guys so long."

Cadence walked over to the other pink pony. "I'm sorry about the cake, Pinkie."

Pinkie Pie nodded. "It was a hero to the end. That cake gave its frosting so that we could be here for the party. It will be missed," she lowered her head somberly. She then instantly picked her head back up. "But now we've got dancing bears! This party's fantastic!"

"It is indeed," Cadence smiled.

"So," Twilight began, "We, um, meaning Princess Celestia and Luna and, well, me, we've decided to try to see each other more often. We're going to try to meet once every couple weeks at least and uh, I was hoping you could join us."

Shining Armor and Cadence were both taken aback slightly, knowing what Twilight was asking. They paused for a moment, then Cadence finally said, "The Crystal Empire is very far away..."

"But I think we'll manage," Shining said. They both nodded in agreement. "We could meet in Ponyville, the Crystal Palace and back here in Canterlot every so often."

Twilight's grin exploded. "Really? Oh, that sounds great!" She ran up and hugged her brother and sister in law.

"And of course, all of your friends will be invited too," Cadence added.

Heart-warmed, Chrys joined the hug along with Fluffle Puff.

"And your number one assistant!" Spike added. Twilight picked him up and brought him into the embrace as well.

Then suddenly, they all noticed something. The music stopped. Ponies and critters, all of them slowly stopped dancing. Questions erupted in the crowd, voices growing louder.

"Hey, what happened to the music?"

"Is the party over?"

"What gives?! This is supposed to be a celebration here!"

"The raffle? Is this the line for the raffle, please can somepony-"

"Michael, wait, MICHAEL!"

"Does anypony want this pizza? I just found it on the roof."

The intercom system in the courtyard crackled to life. All attention was drawn to the castle entrance as the doors slowly opened.

"Fillies and Gentlecolts, the royal court of Equestria hereby presents our newest addition to the Royal Guard!"

"Who is it? I can't see!" Pinkie said, trying to look over Fluttershy's bear standing on its back legs. Every pony, every being, the bear included looked at the castle entrance in excited awe.

Twilight wasn't entirely sure what was going on.

"New royal guard?" Rainbow asked, hovering above the crowd.

"This is quite unexpected, I wonder who it could be," Rarity said.

Shining Armor put a hoof to his chin. "They never did fill my old position when I became a prince." Cadence nuzzled his side, happy he'd made that decision.

Chrys narrowed her focus, trying to see inside the door but nothing was coming out. "I can't quite- wait, I see something!"

Twilight looked over heads herself to see six of the castle's attendants forming at both sides of the doorway. And finally, someone stepped out.

"Twilight," Chrys asked. "Is that..."

"Dan."

"Dan of Equestria, Captain of The Royal Guard!"

Cheers erupted as Dan walked outside though, nopony really knew quite what they were cheering for. Covered head to foot in adapted royal guard armor, he waved to the crowd while looking for Twilight and his friends. He didn't have to look long before he saw them running towards him.

"Dan!" Twilight called.

"Twilight! Chrys!" he was practically tackle-hugged by the mob of ponies.

"Dan!" Twilight said again, surprised, ecstatic, overcome. "You're... you're a royal guard now?"

Dan beamed. "That's Captain Dan, now, Princess Twilight!" he announced.

"Wow, Dan," Chrys said, looking him up and down. "You look... great," she said sheepishly. She eyed him up and down again, feeling her face redden a bit.

"Thank you, thank you, yes, I'm awesome," Dan waved to his new fans. "NOW QUIT CROWDING ME!"

The partiers resumed partying and the music restarted.

Princess Celestia and Luna stepped out, flanking Dan.

"We decided to recognize Dan for his service to Equestria," Celestia said. "We thought it fitting, given the circumstances."

Twilight nodded. "I couldn't agree more."

Princess Luna stepped forward. "We're assigning Dan to your care, Princess Twilight. He is the first of your own personal security force, the captain of your own royal guards, the Friendship Guard."

Twilight gasped. "My own royal guard?"

Dan rolled his eyes at the formality of the situation. "As if I HAVEN'T been looking out for you since I got here!"

Celestia stepped over to Twilight. "That is, if that's okay with you, Twilight."

She didn't even have to think. "Absolutely, thank you so much," the two hugged.

It wasn't the first time Celestia had made a royal decree to keep Twilight and her friends together. But this time, she was added new friends to Twilight's group. A family. And she was very happy that this time, she was adding herself to that as well.

"I'll take care of you, Twilight," Dan rubbed her shoulder confidently. "And you're going to love who I pick out to be my second-in-command," he said, striding past. He patted Chrys on the back as he did so.

"Uh, Dan? What does that mean?"

Twilight turned back around, watching as Dan went to interact with their friends. Fluffle Puff was the first to congratulate the knightly-looking Dan with a slobbery kiss. Rather than be angry with her, he petted the ball of fluff on the head and the two curled up into a snuggle. Rarity examined Dan's new uniform, the same gold, blue and purple that other guards wore only with a jet-black chest piece emblazoned with the word JERK on the front and the word CAPTAIN over it.

Chrys walked over to Twilight, joining her as they watched their friend enjoy his new status. Something neither of them had done since they got there. "Looks like our family's growing."

Twilight nodded. "It is." She didn't need to add, 'in more ways than one.'

"Hey, where's the music?" one of the partiers asked.

"Yeah, if this is still going on, when are you going to start the music?"

Being Shining Armor's anniversary, he thought of something. "Hey Dan?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's hit the stage! You and me!"

"Well, I don't know if I really shoul- okay."

The two enthusiastically took to the stage and grabbed a pair of microphones.

You've never seen things like I've seen before
And just when I think I've seen it all, there's something else in store
Sometimes it feels like I can't take it any more

But I'm honor-bound!
In everything I say and do
I'm honor bound!
Whether we win or lose!
I'm honor bound!
To my own self, I will remain true...
Because I'm honor bound... I'm honor bound to you!

No matter what happens, I gotta stand tall
Pick myself up, carry on every time I fall
Rise up every time to answer the call!

Times get tougher and the days get long
Can be so confusing between what's right and wrong
It gets so hard trying to remain strong
But I still sing this song...

Because I'm honor-bound!
No matter what others say or do!
I'm honor bound!
My heart is noble through and through!
I'm honor bound!
To what we all believe is true
I remain honor bound... I am honor bound to you!

I keep following this path though I keep getting flak
Everywhere I go it seems I'm under attack
But I know I'll be fine as long as you've got my back!

I know what I'm doing is right, I can feel it inside
And although I keep my duty, it's not a matter of pride
All the ideals that we cherish, I let them be my guide
And I keep you by my side because...

I'm honor bound!
To all of our values
I'm honor bound!
Even though I've made mistakes, too
I'm honor bound!
I know in my heart that this is true,
I will stay honor bound... I'm honor bound to you!

Courage, chivalry, discipline and skill
Justice, integrity and a strength of will
No matter what happens, I uphold them still...

I'm honor bound!
In everything single thing I choose
I'm honor bound!
Committed to all our virtues
I'm honor bound!
And I'm gonna make you believe that it's true!
I'm always honor bound... I'm honor bound to you!

We're honor-bound!
In everything we do and say!
We're honor-bound!
In every single way!
You hear that sound? The beating of our hearts' will always come pounding through!
We must admit it, we're fully-committed! And honor-bound to you!

The crowed applauded as Dan and Shining bowed. Friends and family all together, the group watched as fireworks filled the skies completing what could only be called a very happy anniversary.

Episode 7: Dan Vs. The Flim Flam Bros.

In either a parallel or alternate universe, or both, Megatron was dining with Starscream and Soundwave in a restaurant somewhere in suburban North America.

The tyrannical leader of the Decepticons wore a metallic frown as he returned to the table and sat down.

"STARSCREAM!" Megatron bellowed.

"Ye-yes, lord Megatron?" his ever-subversive subordinate asked, startled.

"What were you doing to my double-whopper with cheese while I was acquiring us utensils and beverages? You wouldn't happen to have poisoned it with tainted energon, would you?"

"Why, no lord Megatron!" Starscream waved the accusation away defensively, "I was simply inspecting it for quality and freshness! It is safe for you to eat!"

"Ah," Megatron nodded, "Very good, Starscream. But you can have the double-whopper. I think I'll have a chicken sandwich instead."

"Umm," Starscream began to leak hydraulic fluid. Megatron reached into the bag they'd ordered and retrieved another sandwich. Soundwave was unreadable as always but appeared to be monitoring the exchange while sipping from a drink. Laserbeak and Rumble busied themselves by playing with a couple of toys that had come with the meal.

Megatron eyed his comrade as he unwrapped his fried poultry meal. "Go ahead, Starscream. Take a bite."

Starscream swallowed hard and looked down at the burger he'd 'prepared' for Megatron. "B-but I-"

"You should know by now, Starscream," Megatron said, lowering his fusion cannon at Starscream. "I always have it my way."

Intro: Rise Up- Theme of Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship

The day after arriving home from Canterlot, Dan, Twilight and friends met at one of their usual hang out spots, Sugar Cube Corner. Twilight had to believe that the café they frequented never looked better now that she was back in Ponyville again. Dan didn't have any complaints either; he was happy to be home again, especially knowing that there were no crazy train rides, massive walls or giant robots to fight in their immediate future.

They'd returned to Ponyville by way of Twilight's balloon that Spike and Fluffle had arrived in. With the Golden Oaks library still being renovated, they chose to meet at Sugar Cube Corner to relax and take a break from working on the reconstruction.

"So, Princess Celestia can't use the magic of friendship?" Applejack asked, a might confused.

Twilight nodded. "That's what she told us. One of the reasons why she has me write letters to her is because she's learning about friendship, too."

"Wow," Pinkie remarked. "And she thought you needed to get out more."

"Well, she HAS been ruling over the entire kingdom for like, a long time," Rainbow pointed out.

"Still, you think she'd have some time to make some friends of her own," Chrys countered.

"Being a princess is a huge responsibility," Twilight commented. "But I know I'd never want being a princess to come between us." They all hugged tightly.

"Aww, we know you'd always make time for us!" Pinkie reassured her.

"Of course," Twilight agreed, "But there's a chance I might have to choose between you and something I'd have to do as a princess. Even though I'd always choose my friends... I wouldn't want to take that risk," she smiled.

Twilight's friends smiled back at her. No matter what, they would all support each other, whatever they chose to do. Chrys, Dan and Fluffle Puff were new to the group and had choices of their own to make. Twilight wanted to make sure she was there for them, all of them.

Dan was only half-paying attention, reading a newspaper but many times his approval was silent anyway. One thing they were all thankful for about Dan: he was easy to read.

"So, what are you going to do now that you're not a princess, Twilight?" Fluttershy asked.

The purple alicorn looked down at the table. "I'm not sure. I guess try to fix the library, keep writing letters about what I learn. There's always something we can do."

"What about your wings?" Rarity asked, pointing at them.

Twilight turned to look at them, clasped tightly against her sides. "The princesses said there was a ritual I could perform that would change me back into a unicorn," she informed them. "But they said the book that contained the spell had gone missing."

"Missing?" they asked.

"It was a book in the castle, one of Celestia's own spell books. But when they searched for it, it was gone," Twilight informed them.

"Did... did they lose it?" Rainbow asked. "Because I have this one book, Daring Do and The Quest For The Lost Book and it has a great guide for finding things you misplace."

Rarity grinned coyly. "Maybe the princesses would like to borrow it, hm?"

"Uh, of course!" Rainbow put a hoof behind her head. "I'd be happy to lend it to 'em."

Applejack teamed up with Rarity and raised an accusing eyebrow at her friend. "You wouldn't a happened ta have lost it would ya?"

"N-no!" Rainbow batted away question. "I know right where it is. It's back in my house in Cloudsdale."

Even Twilight found it a bit surprising. "You lost a book about a lost book?"

"I didn't LOSE the book!" Rainbow declared defensively. "I told you,- it's in my house... somewhere."

Chrys chuckled. "Well, at least you've narrowed it down."

"So, I guess I just have to wait for them to find it or check my own library for another copy," Twilight said.

Dan lowered his newspaper to see the others. "Hey, didn't we just find a book last week about magic?"

Twilight's eyes went wide. "Oh, yes! I almost forgot about it, the one we used to reverse the spell that made you bald."

"Ngrrr..." Dan bristled at the memory, the newspaper crumpling around his grip as he raised it slowly to resume reading.

Chrys tapped her chin. "You don't think that book we found..."

Twilight nodded, already agreeing with what Chrys was suggesting. "It's worth checking out. But we might have trouble getting to it with the house in shambles."

Rainbow hovered over to her. "Oh, you didn't happen to LOSE your precious new spell book, did you?"

Rolling her eyes, Twilight said, "No, I know right where it is. It's in my house," she got up from her seat, turned back to Rainbow and with a smile added, "somewhere."

The Pegasus frowned, ceasing her attempt at recovery.

Twilight walked to the door, the others slowly rising from the table to follow her. Fluffle Puff appeared from under the table chewing gum. "I categorized the book in the 'to-be-categorized' bookshelf of books I need to categorize into bookshelves in the storeroom."

"Yeah," Spike confirmed, picking up the pace to follow his caretaker, "but we haven't been able to get to that room since the house fell over; part of the roof collapsed and blocked the doorway."

"So you did try to fix things while we were gone," Dan said. "Did you actually accomplish anything?"

Spike grinned sheepishly. "Sure did! Fluffle Puff and I, we..."

"Yes?" Twilight turned to her assistant, curious.

"We found the perfect spot for the new altar."

Twilight and her friends collectively facehooved, Dan respectively facepalmed.

Rarity looked around, not understanding. "What altar?"

Rather than have somepony stretch the truth, Applejack stepped in and said, "It's something ya'd have to see."

"Oh," Rarity said. "I knew my Spikey-wikey was an artist. I'd love to see it once we get things at the library straightened up."

"Yeah, hold onto that feeling, small town girl," Dan said, striding forward. "We'll get the house fixed up and then Spike can show you all the 'art' he's made in your honor," he reached for the door.

He almost stepped outside before noticing a pair of carney-costumed stallions standing in the doorway.

"Why, hello there fair citizens!" The red mustachioed one announced. "My brother and I couldn't help but notice your predicament."

"Yes, the damage to your domicile has not gone undetected by us or your neighbors," the clean-faced one added.

"You two again," Applejack glared at them.

Before any of the group could say more, the mustachioed one continued. "It's evidenced that your endearing educative establishment has been reduced to an egregious eyesore."

"Some form of malady has rendered your resplendent residence into a repulsive repository of wreckage."

Chrys looked back and fourth between the two. "Our... what?"

The shaved-faced put a hoof on Chrys' shoulder. "Somepony done blowed up your house, hun."

Dan stepped between the two, pushing the stranger's hoof off Chrys. "And what exactly does that have do with either of you? Are you with the city planning department?"

"Why no, dear sir," the stranger put his hoof back down. "My brother and just wish to offer our deepest sympathies to you in this development. We know how hard housework of this magnitude can be."

"That's why Flim Flam Enterprises(a limited liability company) is prepared to provide a solution to your problem!"

"Wait," Dan held up a hand, "You're not trying to-"

"And for the low, low cost of-"

Dan slammed the door in their faces.

"DAN!" the mares collectively shouted/groaned at him. Fluffle Puff used her gum to blow a bubble that somehow lifted her to the ceiling. Because cartoon physics.

"WHAT?!" Dan asked defensively. "They're trying to sell us something! And you know I don't do solicitors."

"Dan," Twilight walked over to the door. "You can't just slam the door on somepony's face."

"Even if it is those two scam peddlers..." AJ grumbled.

"Come on," Twilight insisted, "Be nice to them and I'm sure they'll leave us alone."

"Yeah!" Spike agreed. "I bet they're already gone by now anyway."

Twilight's magic slowly opened the door to reveal the two brothers still blocking their exit, unphased. In fact, the brothers' hats were removed and were clutched against their chests.

"Now," Flam said, "what kind of salesponies would we be if we just gave up that easily?"

"When there's ponies in need, my brother and I have vowed to be there to provide only the best in top-quality products and services at affordable prices to remedy their problems and improve their lives!" A pair of halos materialized over the duo's heads and a heavenly light shone down from above. The ethereal light then flickered and crackled. Because real physics.

Mr. Cake walked over from behind the store counter. "Sorry, been meaning to fix that." He climbed a ladder and changed the lightbulb on the ceiling and the light it cast abruptly went out.

Dan folded his arms. "We're not interested in whatever it is you're selling."

"Ah, but you haven't even heard of what we're prepared to offer yet," Flam smiled.

"We'd love to," Dan smiled an almost genuine smile, "but I'm afraid we're far too busy at the moment."

Twilight nodded in agreement. "That's right; we are," she turned to Dan. "What are we busy doing?"

"We're chasing after Fluffle Puff," Dan answered, still smiling.

"Why? What is she-" Twilight turned around. Outside the door, she spotted Fluffle Puff flying away, a large pink bubblegum bubble carrying her in the breeze. Twilight looked back to Dan. "I told you not to let her have gum!"

Dan shrugged. "I can't help it if she gets under the table. And besides, she makes a great foot rest."

"Ugh," Twilight groaned, "Rainbow, can you get Fluffle Puff?"

"On it," the Pegasus replied, taking off after the floating Puff.

"Excuse us," Twilight trotted past Flim and Flam. The eight other intrepid friends exited as well, following her into the Ponyville street.
Rainbow Dash sped through the air, flying towards the wayward balloonist as she floated down the street. Fluffle Puff kicked her legless as she flew, her body somehow staying aloft.

"All right Fluffle Puff, just hold still," Rainbow said, approaching her. Grabbing onto Fluffle's legs, she began to pull them down to the ground. This was, unfortunately, a mistake. "Huh? What is this?" Rainbow's hooves stuck to Fluffle's own, covered in yet more gum.
Before the Pegasus knew what was happening, she was stuck to Fluffle Puff's back and the two of them were flying helplessly over Ponyville.

"Help! Help, I'm stuck!" Rainbow Dash shouted.

Her friends chased after them, worried and now a little confused. The wind kept the bubble and mares attached floating as the others pursued. Some bystanders were forced to duck; a cart-pulling stallion diverted out of their path, a pink mare watering the flowers on her windowsill was forced to dodge but thankfully nothing got in the way of the entangled mass of flying candy and pony.

"Rainbow!" Twilight yelled. "Chrys, we have to get them down!"

"Right!" Chrys knelt down, allowing Twilight and Spike to get on her back. The changeling buzzed her wings, carrying them up to the floating pink dirigible. Fluttershy followed close behind, having wings herself.

From the air, Twilight was able to examine the sticky situation closer. "The bubblegum's stuck to her mouth! And also... it shouldn't be lighter than air! This has to be some kind of spell!"

"It's a spell?" Rainbow asked, helpless. "That's gotta be why she's sticking to me!"

"Actually," Chrys squinted at the adhering pegasus, "she's just covered in candy and stuff from the floor. That's why you're stuck to her."

RD's eyes went wide. "Oh gosh," she struggled to get free. "This is- oh my, gross gross gross gross gross gross gross! Get me down! Please, ewwwwwwwwww, get me down!"

"I'll try to free you, Rainbow!" Fluttershy called. She flew up and pulled on her fellow pegasi's front hooves, trying to pry her off.

"Just hold tight," Twilight reached out with her hooves, trying to unhook Fluffle from the bubble. "AJ! Rarity!" she called to her friends behind her, "We have to stop it from floating around! Use your lasso and get ready to tie it to something!"

"Got it, Twilight!" Applejack responded.

"Perhaps a licorice whip would be more appropriate," Rarity remarked at their situation.

Applejack reached from under her the brim of her hat and retrieved her lasso. "We're ready when you are!"

Twilight stood on Chrys' back, focusing on her two entangled friends. "Chrys, we need to get closer!"

"Okay, but we need to be careful," Chrys cautioned. She buzzed her wings harder, gaining altitude. "We don't wanna get too-"

And they got too close. A light breeze hit the bubblegum bubble, slowing it down and causing the two mares flying behind it to crash into it. The candy substance immediately adhered to their coats and stuck to them like glue. Fluttershy was pulled onto Fluffle Puff's back, sticking to her soft, candy-coated fur.

"Oh no," Rarity gasped, seeing three more of her friends stuck.

Chrys, stuck with her back on the bubble upside down, wasn't even able to move her wings. "Twilight, can you fly?" she asked.

"I... I can move my wings," she said, managing to flap them, "but not my legs!" The side of her head and part of her mane were stuck to the gum. Even if she'd been a stronger flier, she wasn't going anywhere. "Applejack! Rarity! You've got to catch us before we float away!"

"We're on it, Twilight! Just hang on!" AJ yelled back.

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Like we have a choice."

Twilight growled. "You want to trade places, Rainbow?!"

"No thanks," she said, putting her hooves behind her neck. "If you want to turn us around, that'd be cool. View's kind of getting boring on this side."

Fluffle Puff was actually enjoying herself. Her eyes were closed in that *content* expression you see in cartoons when the characters are happy. You know the one. High both above the street and on sugar, the sticky puff ball kicked her legs as the bubblegum bubble, the biggest one she'd ever blown and she was proud of that fact, carried her and her friends through town like it was their own parade. She understood they were scared but Fluffle was confident that everything would be fine. The fluffy mare was far more concerned with the very real possibility that another bath was in her near future.

Being clean was something Fluffle enjoyed. Bathing was not; Fluffle Puff preferred to just ride in the washing machine down at the Ponyville Laundromat and then use the dryer. She was banned from the Laundromat but still snuck in now and then for more fun despite the owner chasing her out on occasion. Twilight and her friends, however, bathed Fluffle Puff by spraying her with a hose and then soaping her before spraying her again. Fluffle Puff's body absorbed liquid like a sponge and after Spike or one of the others bathed her, it generally took a couple hours at least for her fluff to dry out.

It was the one drawback to literally being your own pillow- difficult to clean. She often thought of painting herself green and disguising herself as a bush to avoid the dreaded bath time. But if it rained, she'd wind up soaked anyway.

"All right, here goes!" Throwing the lasso with the precision only a cowgirl could muster, Applejack roped the lower half of Fluffle Puff's body. The rope also wrapped around Rainbow's stomach and Fluttershy's back, both of them stuck on respective sides of the fluffy pony.

"Great job!" Twilight said, only able to see them out of the corner of her eye. "Now tie us down to something!"

"Rarity! Grab the end of the rope!" Applejack said through gritted teeth.

"Hold on, I'm trying," Rarity struggled to find the end of the lasso. "What should I tie it to?"

"Anything! Find something!"

"Um," the fashionable mare looked around. Seeing no other alternative, she tied the rope to Applejack and herself using her magic.

"Hey, what're you doin?"

"Um, guys?" Chrys asked, noticing the wind changing direction.

"I'm tying the rope down, now hold still-"

"No Rarity, she meant tie it to-"

"Guys?" Chrys said again. The bubblegum balloon began floating in the other direction.

"There's nothing else we can tie it to!"

"She meant go get somethin' so we can use it as an anchor!"

"Why do we need an anchor?" Rarity asked, baffled by the notion. "It's not a boat."

While the pair squabbled, the pink blimp began traveling again as the wind picked up speed back to Sugar Cube Corner. The arguing unicorn and earth pony didn't notice as the rope shifted and dragged them in the other direction.

"Guys!" Chrys shouted again.

"What?! wa-woa-woa-woa-woaaaaaaaaaaah!!" Applejack said as she was pulled.

"AJ, wait, I- AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!"

When the balloon shifted, the rope wrapped around them, tying them both together. In an instant, Rarity and Applejack became tangled up in the rope and were soon airborne themselves.

"Oh," Rarity realized, her back to Applejack's as her legs dangled. "That's why you didn't want to tie it to ourselves."

AJ frowned. "On the plus side, we found our anchor."

"What? Where is it?" Rarity asked.

"Tied to my back," Applejack said with a grin.

As if on cue, the wind changed direction again and now carried the mares back to the center of town. Rarity and Applejack's efforts had managed to give the balloon a tail. To ponies in the street, it appeared to be a giant runaway kite or a parade float. Either way, they didn't receive help from passersby.

"It's all right girls," Twilight said, still trying to pry her face off the bubble, "we still have Pinkie Pie."

"Not to sound negative," Rainbow remarked, "but what the hay is Pinkie Pie gonna do to get us down?"

"Her cutie mark is balloons," Chrys thought. "Maybe she has a plan."

"Of course I have a plan!" Pinkie answered.

The group looked around, trying to see where she was.

"Pinkie?"

"Pinkie!" AJ and Rarity took turns shouting as they spun slowly back and fourth.

"It's all right everypony! Pinkie is here to help!" she shouted.

"See Rainbow!" Chrys said happily. "Pinkie does have a plan!"

"I sure do!" Pinkie's voice continued to echo.

"Thank Celestia," Twilight sighed, "I was beginning to think-"

The sound of a cannon being fired cut Twilight off midsentence. Pinkie Pie shot through the air like a rocket and hit the gum bubble, landing on the side in between Twilight, Chrys and Fluttershy.

"Woohoo!" Pinkie yelled. "Now this is fun!"

Rainbow sighed. "Great job Pinkie."

Chrys sighed as well. "Welcome aboard, this is Trans-Tolerable Airways Flight Random Made-up Number, thank you for joining us. For your in-flight movie today, this airline is happy to offer Biodome with Pauly Shore-"

"Chrys," Twilight said. "Not helping."

"Sorry!" the changeling squee-smiled. "But you know, there is something I'm wondering."

"What's that?" the other ponies asked.

"Where's Dan?"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Dan shook his head. "Once it again, it looks like Captain Dan has to save the day," he smiled.

From the side, Twilight and the others saw him. Dan stood in the middle of the street ahead of them holding the ladder Mr. Cake had used only minutes ago.

"Dan," Twilight pulled herself again, "You have to be careful! The bubble, it's-"

"You're in trouble again, I understand," Dan waved.

"No, Dan!" she yelled. "The bubble, it's-"

"I'll have you all down in a moment!" Dan held the ladder over his head.

"And how are you planning on getting us down?" Chrys asked.

"Well, you could say the idea just 'popped' into my head." Dan broke into a run, charging at the floating mess at full speed.

"Is he doing what I think he's doing?" Pinkie asked.

"That depends," Rainbow answered. "Do you think he's going to use us as a piñata?"

Pinkie rubbed her chin. "Maybe..."

"Why maybe?"

"Because he's not wearing a blindfold."

Dan continued charging headlong at the group. When he got halfway between them, he jammed the ladder into the ground as he ran. Tipping the ladder over, he ran along its steps, turning into a single pole-vaulting motion that launched him high into the air.

The human flew a good distance, surprising everypony attached to the bubble. A pony on street level just happened to be taking a picture at the time and captured the moment of Dan's feat. Instantly, it became a postcard.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Dan yelled. He shot through the air, flying towards the top of the bubble. As he bore down on his target, he pulled out a fork from the café in midair and grasped it with both hands. Coming down onto the gum, he plunged the utensil into the side of the object, piercing it.

Everypony closed their eyes, waiting for the inevitable bang. Which never came.

"What?" Twilight asked. "What happened? Dan?"

Dan stuck to the top of the balloon, clutching the fork in one hand. The metal prongs of the tool were stuck into the gum, unyielding as he tried to pull it out. Worse, Dan himself was stuck to it too, his chin glued to the side.

"No... no!!" Dan yelled. "THE GUM AT MY FORK!!!"

"That's definitely a first," Chrys commented.

"Way to go, Captain Dan," Spike said. Next to Twilight, he couldn't help but wish he could trade places with Applejack and be tied up to Rarity. Rarity and Applejack both wore similar frowns, disappointed. The group continued to float down the road. A couple silent minutes passed. Pinkie tried chewing her way out of the bubblegum every few seconds but to no avail.

"Hey Twilight?" Chrys finally broke the silence.

Twilight groaned, frustrated at her and the collective failure of the group. "What? What is it, Chrys?"

"I was just gonna say..."

"What is it?!" Twilight tore her head off the gum. "You can see our house from here? All the ponies down there look like ants? The weather sure is nice up here?! DOES IT LOOK LIKE RAIN?! Really, I'm SOOOOOOO interested to hear what you have to say, please tell me!"

"Actually," Chrys mentioned, "you were right the first time."

If Twilight had a free hoof, it would've been in her face. "What?"

"You were right the first time; I can see our house from here."

The purple princess smacked her head against the bubble. "Thank you for letting us know, Chrys."

"It's fixed."

"It's what?" Twilight and the others all asked. From each of their positions, they struggled to see the Golden Oaks library. To all their surprise, the tree that comprised the house was upright again.

"It... it's fixed..." Twilight muttered in disbelief.

"How?! How is that possible?!" Dan asked.

As the bubblegum flew over the house, it was caught by something. A large crane latched onto the balloon from above and then slowly moved the mass, landing it on the ground beside Twilight's house.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," a familiar voice spoke. "Once again, it looks like the Flim Flam brothers have to save the day."

The crane detached from the gum bubble and rose a few feet above the group.

"Presenting Flim and Flam's latest product available now!" Flam's voice announced, projected over a loudspeaker.

Before any of the group could see what it was, the crane doused them with some kind of green solution. The bubble burst immediately and the quadrupeds and bipeds fell to the grass.

"That should help you out of your sticky situation!" Flim's voice spoke, also projected. "Just a little bit of a tonic we've been working on."

The tonic ate away at the gum, dissolving it. After the candy and goo dissipated, the tonic itself wiped off easily leaving no residue. Wiping himself off, Dan finally got a look at whatever it was that had saved them. And his jaw dropped.

"Well, thank you for the assistance, it is greatly appreciated," Rarity commented, straightening out her mane.

Twilight wiped some gum off of her tail. "Yes, thank you but what exactly did you do to our..." she trailed off.

Dan was still awestruck. "No... no, no. Not again," he muttered loud enough for the others to hear.

Situated in front of the now-upright library was a blast from the past. Or, to be more accurate, last episode. It was impossible not to recognize; the head of a pony, the curved vase-shaped body, the hooves dangling over the top of the vase. Only this one didn't have a horn.

The crane retracted into the elbow of the machine's right hoof. "We hope you all have enjoyed this demonstration of the Flim Flam brothers' latest project: Flim Flam Gear!"

Twilight, Chrys, Dan and Fluffle each gaspingly remarked at the machine in turn. The machine's forehead opened like a hatch and the two brothers descended by platform on either side of the machine.

Flim removed his hat and took a short bow as he approached the group. "Pardon our intervention but your house's reconstruction was beginning to become an obstruction for the thoroughfare through town."

Flam followed suit. "So my brother and I took the liberty of restoring your residence while you were away."

Pinkie, eyes still glued to Flim and Flam's latest machine, could only point and shout, "GIANT PONY ROBO-"

Chrys stuffed a hoof in her mouth. "We do appreciate what you've done for us, gentlecolts but um..."

"Hold on a second," Dan held up a hand, "how did you... gentlecolts... devise this contraption?" he gestured to the Gear.

"Ah, so you're finally willing to hear our proposal?" Flam asked.

Dan raised a finger and opened his mouth, both actions to point out a couple things, when the other brother interrupted him.

"This technological marvel comes to you straight from Flim and Flam's own fleet of machines!"

Flam walked over to it as they explained. "We noticed that places like Ponyville are constantly beset upon by all manner of calamity and so, decided to do the neighborly thing and craft a construct that can add in rapid reconstruction!"

"That's... fascinating," Twilight forced a smile. "And um, where did you get the idea for such a... helpful machine?"

The brothers hugged each other's shoulders. "To be honest, the idea came to us last weekend when we were in Canterlot."

Applejack's face went blank. "Y'all... were in Canterlot?"

Flam nodded. "Of course! While on a business trip to visit one of our financial supporters, Prince Blueblood, we noticed that a disaster had struck the main street!"

"A disaster in Canterlot?" Twilight asked, nervous. "Ya don't say? That sounds awful."

"It was! And it turned out, the prince was out at the time. Seems he was busy on some private vendetta against a group of seven mercenaries. But we didn't want to leave Canterlot without helping all those poor, rich ponies," Flim lowered his head in somber admission.

"So, we decided to stay and fix the road! Unfortunately, it seemed the Super-Quicker-Service-Fixer 6004(tm) wasn't quite up to the task of repaving the street. We were just about to give up when a friendly stallion in a lab coat with these strange metal gloves gave us the idea to reconfigure our machine into the glorious device you see here," Flam explained.

"So wait," Dan stopped them again, "some guy just GAVE you the plans to build a giant robot?"

The brothers looked at each other, consulting. After a moment, Flim said, "Yes, the nicest fellow, too. Didn't mention his name but he seemed to be some kind of scientist. It was our machine anyway so he helped us reconfigure it and went on his way. And now we're offering the same opportunity to you!"

The rescued returned ten blank stares to the twin salesponies, not sure exactly what they were offering or if they wanted it. Or what to say, really.

"So... you want us to convert the library into a giant robot?" Pinkie asked. And the image of Princess Twilight rampaging through Ponyville in a massive, mobile tree fort entered more than one mind. So really, we referenced Dan renaming Canterlot Danterlot and creating a 1984-version of Equestria, Chrys and Nightmare Moon had a discussion about teaming up, Spike's got a shrine built to Rarity-

"I'm still fixing that."

We know, Spike. And now we have Twilight causing destruction using her own library as a battleship. Really, is there any character in this ENTIRE SERIES who we HAVEN'T alluded to the possibility of them going crazy and using mechanized warmachines to conquer the Equestria?

"Pbbbbbbbbt." (Well it's not like the thought hasn't crossed my mind. But seriously, if I took over, the only change would be that things would be fluffier. Fluffy trees like from the Lorax! Oooh! And fluffy carpets EVERYWHERE. We would all live in the Fluffle Palace of Fluff on a fluffy pink cloud in the sky and I'd be a pink fluffy unicorn dancing on rainbows all day!)

...okay. So anyway, Flim and Flam laughed and the shook their heads. "Of course not! Why would you build another reconstruction machine when we've already done that for you?"

"Yes! We've done the hard work for you already and to aid in any future fixing, we're offering you the chance to have your very own Flim Flam Gear!"

That actually made Twilight and the others think. Things did seem to get broken a lot around them and if this happened again, a way to fix it quickly would be useful. "Hmm," Twilight rubbed her chin. Chrys did the same while Fluffle Puff donned a pink plastic horn and tried to get Rainbow Dash to dance with her. Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing WITH Rainbow...s~.

Dan noticed Twilight's 'hmm'. "You're not actually thinking of buying that thing, are you?" he asked.

"I don't know, Dan," she answered.

"Where would we even put it! That thing's too big!" Chrys decreed.

"It'd probably fit in the basement," Spike pointed out. "And I could use it to help me finish remodeling... things," he added bashfully.

Twilight looked at the monstrosity. "Well... how much is it?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Dan screamed.

But it was too late. The two brothers looked at each other, twinkles in their eyes and shining smiles.

"It's not cheap, to be honest," Flim said.

"But if you're interested, we might be able to make a deal..."

"A deal?" Twilight raised an eyebrow. "What kind of a deal?"

Dan ran over to his pony pal and shook her like she was possessed by something. She had to be to ask them that. "TWILIGHT NO! You can't ask them that!"

"Why not?" she asked, eyes wide and naïve.

"Well, Twilight," Flam began. "Let us explain..."

When my brother and I find ourselves in the position
To aid other ponies with some certain acquisition~
We're more than happy to offer aid
Of any kind and any grade
So long as they're willing to accept our proposition~
1...2...3

Today's your lucky day! Now, it's time to get excited!
Flim and Flam right here have your solution~
And we're happy to provide it!
If there's something that you want,
If there's something that we can do,
Well then Flim and Flam have got the deal for you!

There's ponies out there
That beg and plead
For something to fulfill their wants and needs
But they can't find satisfaction
Until a salespony takes action!

But Flim and Flam hear all their messages
And come to them to offer all our services!
We'll supply it, it's easy!
But unfortunately, it's not free!
We have to charge a nominal fee~~~

But today's your lucky day! Your troubles have now ended!
Whatever malady has stricken you, Flim and Flam will now amend it!
Yes, your luck is starting to turn!
Today, fortune smiles on you!
Because Flim and Flam have got the deal for you!

It's not easy
To supply
Everything that ponies
Want to buy
But we remain dedicated
So long as we are compensated!

So if there is something
you desire,
There's no need to speak
or to inquire!
Flim and Flam have got the cure!
And plenty of bargains in our brochure!(limit one per customer, available only at participating Flim Flam Bros. locations)

So today's your lucky day! The Flim Flam Bros. never fail!
We've got everything you could ever want!
And this week, it's all on sale!
We'll take care of everything,
I know it seems, like it's too good
to be true!
but Flim and Flam have got
the
deal
for
youuuuuuu!!!!!!!

Deal 4 U- The Flim Flam Bros.
Performed by: The Canterlot Royal Symphony Orchestra The Ponyville Discount Ragtime Band and Cheese of The Month Club

The Flim Flam Gear unleashed a volley of fireworks as the pair concluded their song. For a moment, it was quiet after the musical number.

"So... what's the deal?" Twilight finally asked.

The brothers put their hooves around their backs. "How about a one-week free trial of Flim Flam Gear?"

"No bits down, cancel at any time!"

Chrys rose her perforated hoof. "Can it transform?"

"Into twenty-five different helpful configurations," Flam proudly answered.

She turned to Twilight. "It might be nice to have..."

"WHAT?!" Dan's tone was exasperated. "Chrys, you can't be serious!"

The changeling's eyes dropped to the ground and she clicked her hooves together. "I like things that can transform."

"And we can use it to rebuild the inside of the house too, Dan," Spike pointed out.

"We ALL know exactly what you want to model the inside of the house after," Dan stated. The purple dragon blushed in response. His love for Rarity went beyond simple affection; they were soulmates, he knew it. Rarity was just so... perfect. How could he, how could anypony NOT have such an appreciation for the sheer artistic quality of such a gorgeous feminine physique? There was an artistic beauty in the female form and Spike wanted to capture one pony's beauty in particular. And one day the library would be connected to Carousel Boutique and he and Rarity would be married and Twilight and everypony would all be friends and he and Rarity would live happily ever after. The End(copyright Spike).

Flim and Flam could tell Twilight was on the edge. Dan was pushing her to one side while her friends were pushing her to the other. Fortunately for them, the brothers knew exactly what would turn the tide in their favor. Flim winked to his brother who in turn summoned his own magic and the machine's arm extended its shower nozzle again.

"And if your fluffy friend gets herself into a sticky fix, you can always use Flim Flam Gear to get her unstuck," Flam declared.

"We'll take it," Twilight said without hesitation. "Where do I sign?"

"Fantastic!" the brothers threw their hooves up simultaneously. Removing his hat, Flim levitated a stack of papers off his head along with a quill and ink and walked over to Twilight.

Dan's jaw hit the dirt. "NOO! You... you can't do this!"

Both unicorns brothers and alicorn princess ignored the protesting primate. "Sign here."

"NO!"

"And initial here."

"NOOOOO!"

"Signature here."

"Nu."

"Print here."

"Nyet."

"And sign here."

"NEIN!"

"Under here."

"Non!"

"And date here."

"Nokie dokie lokie."

"Is that your full name?"

Robotnik: "NO!"

"Congratulations!" Flim finally said. Twilight panted, releasing the quill back to him.

"Thank you so much for signing up for a free trial of Flim Flam Gear!" Flam said and the two gave a short bow. "The instruction manual's in the cockpit. We hope you enjoy your free week of service!" The two then departed, taking the opposite road towards the train station.

"Wow..." Pinkie Pie marveled. They all did, the weight of Twilight's decision now becoming evident. The robot loomed overhead, an impenetrable-looking statue standing as tall as the library itself. Made of the same polished chromium substance as Magic Gear KNIGHT had been, Flim Flam Gear resembled the giant unicorn filly but with a few key differences. Apart from being white with red stripes instead of white with yellow, this version of Magic Gear seemed to require a pilot and copilot. Also, no horn, meaning no possibility of a sword spell, which Twilight and the others were thankful for.

But not Dan, who wore only an impenetrable scowl.

"So..." Chrys asked nonchalantly, "who gets to drive it first?"

"ME! ME!" Pinkie hopped.

"Twilight," Dan interrupted. "Why?"

The preoccupied purple pony turned to him. "Why what?"

"WHY DID YOU BUY A GIANT ROBOT THAT TRIED TO KILL US!!!!!?" More accusation and shout than question, Twilight's mane was blown back by Dan's projection. But she was mostly used to it by now.

"I, I don't know Dan," she answered honestly. "It all just happened so fast, I, I didn't know what to say."

"But you DID KNOW WHAT TO SAY! YOU SAID YES!"

Twilight raised her shoulders and squeed. "Sorry!"

The squeepology, actually only registered a four point nine repeating on the adorbs-o-meter(results provided by the Manehattan Institute of Cutieology and pancake house) and even then, wasn't effective on Dan given the circumstances. Dan was about to say something else, finger raised to pick at another problem he had with them purchasing a repurposed doomsday weapon but couldn't find the words.

But Applejack found them. "I'm sorry y'all, I don't quite care much for this decision either."

The other ponies, dragon and Dan turned to her. "What? What's wrong?" Rarity asked.

The farm girl straightened her hat. "I'm with Dan on this one. Trusting those two isn't going to cause us nothing but trouble. Can't say I'm fond of the doohickey they brought with them as well."

Dan gestured to her with both hands. "Thank you! Seriously, Twilight, COME ON! That thing TRIED TO KILL US! IT TRIED TO NUKE PONYVILLE! And now you've signed up to have one in your backyard like it's a subscription to Netflix!"

"We need to renew ours, by the way," Chrys reminded them. "Needs mah fix."

"Thhhpppbbdddd," Fluffle added, which meant, "And double-check the DVR so my Doctor Whooves is recorded."

"Twilight," Dan walked over to the princess, hands close together to gesture simple terms, "the machine tried to destroy us. We should be dismantling it right now and sending it BACK TO THOSE TWO CARNIES IN PIECES WITH INSTRUCTIONS ON WHERE THEY CAN STICK IT!"

Pinkie and Rainbow giggled at the thought.

Twilight finally pulled her gaze off the machine. "But Dan, this one's different from the one in Canterlot. It doesn't look like it even has weapons."

"I wonder if we can use it as a birdhouse," Fluttershy asked, also enamored by the machine.

"I wanna make it dance!" Pinkie declared, hopping.

"Let's see if it can fly, first!" Rainbow remarked, hovering towards it.

"Can we repaint it possibly something in purple?" Rarity asked, also stepping closer.

Chrys, Fluffle and Spike joined in, save Applejack who stood by Dan.

"I'm sure it'll be fine, Dan," Twilight assured him. "And we'll be able to use it to fix up the rest of the library faster than we could with regular tools."

"I just don't get this," Dan said, defeated. "Why would anypony in their right mind go and buy something when they know it's bad for them? Seriously, who does that?"

Literally everypony and Spike turned to Dan slowly, casting wide-eyed stares at the human. Pinkie Pie walked over to him slowly. "Pretty much everypony, Dan," she said, putting a hoof on his folded arms.

He frowned and turned away from her. But this only made the pink mare chuckle. "Oh Danny, everyone does stuff like this all the time."

"I find that hard to believe," Dan replied sternly.

Thinking for a moment, Pinkie got a Pinkie idea. "You know Dan, it's a lot like cake! Think of it like that."

"What is it with you and cake?" Dan asked, the poor bastard.

"Well, let me explain it to you silly!"

"C is for Confection, because that's what cake is!
A is for Awesome which is also what cake is!
K is for Knowledge because we already know~
That cakes are made of sugar and just where all that sugar goes!
And E is for Everything from the frosting to the dough~
That cakes are just amazing~"

"NOW CAN WE GET ON WITH THE SHOW?!" Dan demanded. "We just HAD a music number five minutes ago, please, can we get going?"

"Okay!" Pinkie squee-smiled.

"And besides," Dan continued, "Not even the cake Pinkie nearly killed us over three episodes ago was a danger to us. Unless one of you is allergic to strawberries."

"Well," Twilight said, tapping her hoof, "at least we can use it to try and repair the library. I don't see any harm in using it for that." The other ponies, save Applejack, nodded in agreement. Fluffle Puff had already found her way to the cockpit and had donned a hardhat.
The mares and baby dragon began using the machine already to lift supplies, crate things around using its arms. Twilight even used her wings to fly up and join them, levitating the instruction manual over so she could read it.

"But... fixing the library was my job..." Dan's arms slacked. The human felt genuinely sad although nopony could be sure whether it was because Twilight had chosen to keep the Flim Flam Gear or that it somehow had replaced him.

"It's okay, Dan!" Twilight comforted him. "You can still help Spike with the basement."

Dan looked at the tiny dragon and bristled with discomfort. He liked Spike for the most part and the reptile was a good cook, helpful and even stable compared to some of the other friends around him. But his obsession with Rarity was creepy and definitely NOT something he wanted to be involved with. Was there anything wrong with what the little guy was doing? Technically, no. Just that Dan didn't want that obsession to take up the interior of where he lived.

The orange pony next to him put a hoof on his shoulder. "If you're looking for something to do, there's always work around the farm. And we could use some extra material."

Dan thought about it for a minute. At least one other pony was on his side and it was the one that seemed level-headed most of the times. There had to be someway he could convince Twilight and the others they'd made the wrong decision, there had to be. Maybe he and Applejack could show them. And it sounded like she wasn't fond of Flim and Flam either.

"I think that's a great idea, Applejack. I'd love to come help," Dan replied.

"Happy to have ya, pardner," the cowgirl said.

"Hey TWILIGHT! CHRYS!" Dan cupped his hands and shouted at them.

"Yes, Dan?" Twilight asked, swinging one of the robot's hooves and nearly breaking off one of the tree house's branches.

"Since we don't really need the extra supplies, I think I'll take them to Sweet Apple Acres with Applejack," Dan yelled. "Okay?!"

"Okay, good idea!" Twilight shouted back.

"All right," Dan turned to AJ. "Guess there's something salvageable about this ordeal after all."

"Eeyup," she agreed. The pair walked around to the back of the house and retrieved some extra lumber, tools and supplies and began the trip to Sweet Apple Acres on the outskirts of town.

"Ya know Applejack, I think you and me are gonna get along just fine," Dan patted the earth pony, her knees buckling as she struggled to carry the vast majority of the supplies.

"It... wouldn't hurt ya ta carry a little more, y'know," Applejack groaned.

"You're right!" Dan merrily put on a hardhat. "Good idea, Jack. Safety first!" he declared, running ahead of her.

Applejack rose an eyebrow as she tried to put one heavy hoof in front of the other. "Jack?"

Dan took on half the load of supplies from Applejack shortly after setting out for Sweet Apple Acres after finally noticing she was a tad overburdened. The sun shone brightly over head and a light breeze made the walk comfortable for the pair. Having dealt with the two salesponies before, Applejack retold the tale of her first meeting with the Flim Flam brothers to Dan as they traveled to the Apple family farm.

"So, they showed up in some whacky machine, started peddling their garbage and then you and the others beat the vests off of them and sent 'em packing?"

"Eeyup," Applejack nodded, confirming Dan's summary.

"Wow," Dan remarked, astounded. "Nice going. Show the scammers how it's really done and watch 'em turn tail and run. I love it."

"Well, uh, thanks," AJ replied. Dan's explanation wasn't exactly how she would've described their last bout with Flim and Flam but ultimately, he was right. "Ain't seen hide nor hair of those two since. Would'a thought they'dve learned their lesson and moved on."

Dan shook his head as they walked. "I wouldn't be so sure about that. Where I come from, sales cronies don't ever give up easily. You think they're gone but next week they're back, hanging something new on your door handle so you have to take the damn thing off to even get in your house!"

"Wow," Applejack said, now surprised herself. "They sound a might stubborn."

"You don't know the half of it!" Dan said, exasperated. "Leaving pamphlets in your mailbox... fliers on your windshield that you have to take off before you even start your car! And then," his voice turned into a rage-filled shout, "THEY WAKE YOU AND YOUR NEIGHBORS UP AT SIX AM! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU'RE SELLING AT SIX AM! I'M NOT BUYING A TIMESHARE!!!" Several birds took flight out of the nearby trees that lined the road.

Applejack stopped and took a step back from Dan as he vented. "YOU'RE PAYING TWELVE MONTH'S WORTH OF UTILITIES, MAINTENANCE FEES AND TAXES FOR A CONDO YOU'RE ONLY USING FOURTEEN DAYS OUT OF THE YEAR! AND WHAT IF YOU WANT TO GO SOMEHWERE ELSE?!" he shook his hands skyward, as if posing that question to the whole multiverse. "IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!!!"

Slowly, the two started walking again. "Well, the way I sell my apples is usually by setting up the stand, lettin' folks come to me."

"You see? That's honest salesman... err, salespony-ship. That's what we need more of," Dan stated. "No manipulation, no scamming, let them come to you."

"I guess that's what we do," Applejack said. To be honest, she had no idea what Dan was talking about but really, she didn't need to. There was a right way and a wrong way to do everything, whether you were selling apples or whatever a timechair was. Or was it chimeshare? Dime... whatever. If somepony was sticking their business everywhere, the business wasn't working. If her apples didn't sell, and sometimes they didn't, AJ would pack up her stall and try again later. As for advertising, there were always signs, slogans and singing and dancing if it was really slow. And only in front of her own stall; not in a pony's living room.

Sweet Apple Acres in sight, Dan looked over to AJ. "Hey, you're thing's honesty, right?"

Applejack's eyebrows' tinged. "My... thing?"

"Yeah, your deal, what you focus on," Dan said casually.

Again, something she hadn't heard explained that way but Dan was right. "Yes, honesty's the quality I rightly admire. It's my Element."

"Element?" Dan repeated. Now there was something she needed to explain.

"Yeah, the Element'sa Harmony," Applejack answered.

"Twilight mentioned something about those before, what are they?"

AJ was taken aback by the question. "Twi never told y'all about the Elements?"

Dan scratched his neck with his shoulder. "She might have. She said they were some kind of magical artifacts that you guys save Equestria with."

She shrugged. "Well yeah, that's pretty much it."

"But what are they?" Dan inquired. "What can you do with them?"

"To be honest," AJ tilted her head to the ground, "Magic's not really my field of expertise, sugar cube. But I do know there's six of us and there's six of them; Pinkie's is laughter, Fluttershy's is kindness, Rainbow's loyalty, Rarity has generosity, Twi's got magic and mine is honesty. When we get them all together, we can use some kinda super-magic that nothing we've seen so far can stand up against. We pretty much use it to set things right again."

"Wow," Dan was surprised again. "Hey wait, WHY DON'T WE JUST FIX THE HOUSE WITH THEM?!"

Applejack readjusted her hat after Dan's yelling. "We can't use 'em for just anything, Dan. It's complicated magic we can only use in emergencies."

"Fine, fine," Dan continued walking. "Things would be easier if we could use something like that more often, though."Dan liked magic but what he didn't like was how finicky it was. He was beginning to accept its limitations, though. But what he didn't understand, and what Applejack and the others did, was that there were different kinds of magic. And some didn't have limitations.

Applejack smiled. "Careful whatcha wish for, sugar cube," she patted him on the back.

The trees around them broke into fields, flat grass and plowed turf separated by rolling hills in the distance. They followed the fencing into the farmland until they approached the barns and farmstead. Dan had actually been to Sweet Apple Acres a couple times before, usually to pick up one thing or another but this was the first time he'd really taken anything there. While Dan wasn't a fan of crowded urban settings, he didn't find the farm ideal either but had a great deal of respect for the apple family and farmers like them. He still didn't see himself as a farmer though; not until he could spawn food items by snapping his fingers.

"So, how has the apple farming been since you got back?" Dan asked. "Everything all right since we stopped the place from getting nuked?"

"Not bad, I reckon," AJ said. "Applebloom's second cousin Cran Apple decided he was a demigirl last week. It's been… interesting."

"Demigirl?" Dan raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Did you make that up?"

Applejack shook her head. "No, and I ain't sure who did. But it means he wants us to refer to him as 'they' and 'them' now. Use non-gender specific pronouns and whatnot."

"Uh huh," Dan nodded, understanding. "I actually have a cat named Mr. Mumbles. She's a girl but she and I like the name Mr. Mumbles better so we call her that."

"Yeah but Cran wants ponies to refer to him as 'they' instead of him or her. It's kind of been an adjustment."

"Yeah, I'm not doing that," Dan stated. "He can't force people to refer to him as whatever he wants to be called. What he needs to do is find a compromise with others over the terms. If I wanted to be called 'King Dan of Equestria' I wouldn't be able to make people do it. No matter how much of a ring it has to it."

Applejack smirked. "How 'bout 'Dan- Loudest Man Ever to Set Foot in Equestria'?"

Dan smiled and rubbed her hat down. "Not bad, AJ. I just might have you make up all the names for the Sparkle Guard."

"I'll be sure to make a rank that's non-gender specific for if you ever hire somepony like Cran Apple."

"As long as it's not 'they' or them'," Dan added, "they can be Supreme Commander Master Chief if they want."

A shadow cast on the ground as they reached the farmstead. The house was large, it had to be to accommodate the occasional extra family members but that wasn't what was casting the shadow. As Dan and Applejack rounded the corner to the entrance, they saw Granny Smith on the porch speaking to two familiar stallions.

"We appreciate you taking us up on our offer, miss," Flim held his hat to his chest and dipped down.

"We hope you enjoy your free trial!" Flam echoed the motion. The two brothers then turned quickly around and walked away.

"What,- what,- what?!!" Dan stammered between outcries. He and Applejack skidded to a halt in front of the green elder just as the two brothers departed.

"Granny, what did y'all jus do?" Applejack asked in an accusing tone.

"Whut?" Granny Smith looked around. "Did I walk in somepony else's house by mistake again?"

Dan looked around. The Apple family had no neighbors. How could she enter another house?

"No, Granny, you done just went and signed up for somethin' from Flim and Flam!"

"Oh that," Granny Smith replied. "Well, that's right, lemme show you," the elder slowly led the two to a large box parked in front of the farmhouse. Reaching up, she pulled a dangling rope down and the crate fell apart revealing...

"No... no... NO!!!" Dan screamed.

"No what?" Granny asked, confused again.

Dan collapsed to the ground and proceeded to pound the dirt with his fist.

"Granny, what in the hay are we gonna do with a giant robot?"

"What can't we do with a giant robot?" Applebloom countered. The small filly materialized from behind the machine as if summoned by some hyper-active force.

"No," AJ approached her sister. "I ain't having you messin' with that contraption until we know what it does."

"There's an instruction manual up here!" Granny called from the machine's cockpit. Somehow, the older earth pony had managed to quickly climb.

AJ facehooved hard. "GRANNY! Get down from there before ya-"

Her brother Big Mac tapped her on the shoulder. "I think your guest is looking for something in the barn."

Applejack looked around. As her siblings had appeared, apparently Dan had vanished. She spied the door to the barn open and the supplies Dan had been carrying nearby.

"Big Mac, can you try and keep Granny and Applebloom from hurting themselves while I check on Dan?"

Her brother turned his stone-faced glance to the top of the robot. "Eeyup," he replied in his traditional tone.

The orange mare galloped to the smaller barn. More of an auxiliary storage shed, mostly Applebloom and her friends used it to work on various projects and once to build a parade float. Recently, the Apple family had been using it to keep tools or extra equipment they weren't using, so why would Dan be in there?

She opened the door to the barn. "Dan?"

"Where do you keep the dynamite?" his voice came back.

"Dynamite?" Stepping inside, Applejack saw Dan hunched over a workbench creating something with the tools on the rack above it.

"Explosives, blasting powder, things that go boom," Dan explained, back to her as she approached.

"Dan, we can't go blowin' that monstrosity up just cause we don't agree with it."

"I'm not going to blow up the robot," Dan explained. "The dynamite's for Fim and Flam."

"Dan," AJ sighed heavily. "Ya can't just try to blow them up because they tried to sell ya something!"

Dan stared blankly at Applejack. "Yes I can."

An crash from outside drew Applejack's attention. She quickly opened the bar door again to see the Flim Flam Gear swing a wrecking ball into the side of the house.

"Okay, we know what that definitely does!" Applebloom's voice said over the intercom.

"What in tarnation are they- HEY!" AJ yelled. The wrecking ball swung again, this time hitting the roof of the house. She ran over to the vase-shaped invention. "GRANNY! APPLEBLOOM!" she started kicking the machine. "Y'ALL GET OUTTA THERE RIGHT NOW!"

"Wait yer turn!" Granny's voice shouted back over the mechanical speaker. "We're renovating the house!"

"The house didn't need renovations!" AJ yelled. "AND THAT WAS MY ROOM!"

Across the yard, the door to the barn slammed open. Out stepped Dan holding Granny Smith's cane in both hands. Except the walking stick had been wrapped in steel from one of Applebloom's loopty-hoops and two horseshoes had been bolted to the end. The extension device now featured a compressed spring and when Dan hit the button on the bottom, it extended. This made the device both easy to use as a weapon and for hooking onto something in the distance, like a makeshift grappling hook only designed more for punishment.

Dan examined his new combo weapon. The pain crane would have to do the job. At least until he found a flashlight and some random jewelry.

"Dan, what's that? What did you just do to Granny's cane?"

"Upgraded it," Dan replied. He then began walking in the direction of the Everfree Forest, the way Flim and Flam had been heading.

The orange mare couldn't let him go through with this. "Just what is it you're planning on doing?"

Dan looked over his shoulder at her. "I'm going to super-smash those brothers!"

"Dan..." she sighed heavily again. She didn't know who it was harder getting through to; Dan or her family.

"I'm not letting them get away with this!" Dan shouted. "They haven't done anything yet... but they're up to something. I know it!"

"I know and I agree," the southern belle informed him. "Look, I don't know what those two are scheming this time but you can't just try to beat it out of 'em."

"So what do you expect me to do?!" Dan demanded.

Another crash reminded her of the commotion behind them. "Just try to find out what they're up to discreetly. Follow 'em, find out where they're making all these crazy gadgets and what they're planning on doing. Then we can find a way to stop it."

"And if we're wrong and they're just giving away free trials of giant robots for the hay of it?" Dan inquired.

"Then it's gonna be a long week," AJ replied. The sound of a portion of the house collapsing ended her sentence. "I'll try to help Big Mac make sure those two don't destroy everything while you're gone."

"I'd hope not!" Dan shouted as he headed out for the Everfree. "I'll need something to drop on Flim and Flam when I get back here!"

While the vastness of the Everfree Forest was treacherous and untamed, there were paths cut into the underbrush that were well-traveled and safer. Fortunately for Dan, the two salesponies he was tracking had taken one of the more frequented routes to wherever they were going next. Unfortunately for him, this did nothing to help the insects, which were swarming in the heat of the day.

Bugs, mosquitos and various pests were equally annoying on Earth as in Equestria. Dan smacked the back of his neck as the tell-tale signs of irritation plagued his pale skin. He scowled; now he was eager to accelerate his pursuit of vengeance in order to depart the forest before he was eaten alive.

An expert tracker, Dan was not but Flim and Flam were doing nothing to conceal their trail. The human was easily able to follow the pairs of hoofprints in the soft ground. He questioned whether or not they were Flim and Flam's hooves at first but then saw that each imprint had a small logo underneath: Property of Flim Flam Bros. LLC. The trademark was still fresh; Dan was getting closer. The air smelled of rip-off as he continued through the canopied woods.

Questions plagued Dan as he pursued the traders. What were they planning on doing with phony Magic Gears? Why were they selling them to everypony? And more complicated nagging questions like how were they even making them and where did they get the idea in the first place?

The path he was on lead to several clearings along its way; often-used camp sites for travelers and hikers. Dan followed the tracks through a couple clearings expecting to find them behind any one of them. But as he followed them, suddenly he noticed something different. As if they appeared from nowhere, Dan found himself mysteriously following three sets of tracks. Unlike the other set, the new tracks that followed alongside didn't have trademarks underneath them. What concerned Dan the most however, was that the new hoofprints were fewer.

Whatever made these tracks walked upright.

Dan continued following the path for several minutes, eventually getting closer to the brothers. He went through another clearing before noticing the hoofprints veered away from the trail and into the jungle. Or so it seemed. He followed the new tracks through the thicker foliage using his augmented cane to hack away low-hanging vines, ferns and branches.

Not far from the main path, he arrived at a place where the trees were tighter together, a cluster. Dan pushed his way through the trees to come face to face with a box.

Another box, identical to the crate Granny Smith pried open back at the farm only minutes ago. To either side of it were more crates, several of them. Dan squeezed his way in between two of them to get further into the clearing.

"...production. It doesn't matter where you go next, just make sure that each is delivered within the schedule," a voice said. It was one Dan didn't recognize so he had to guess it must've belonged to the mysterious third party.

"You are following the schematics to the design specified, aren't you?" the voice asked.

"Of course," Flam's voice responded. Dan sidestepped between the boxes and finally he was able to peer into the middle of the clearing.

More boxes lined the other side, their sides open and empty. A pair of round tents occupied the center along with hoofcarts and several workbenches. This must've been where the brothers were crafting their machines. Creeping to the edge of the box, Dan finally saw Flim, Flam and another stallion. The two brothers stood on all fours but this third stallion, a brown earth pony in a lab coat stood upright. His back was turned to the pair and some kind of shimmering blue aura surrounded him.

"We could amp up production however, if to say, perhaps, your company provided materials," the other brother suggested.

The third pony spun around. "Have I not TOLD you both ALREADY that MY organization CANNOT be involved?!"

The brothers recoiled a tad at the stallion's rage. "Um, you may have mentioned it."

"Ughhh," the stranger sighed. "Gentlecolts, this is not about FIST; this is about you, the Flim Flam Brothers!" He smiled, the blue aura around him shook slightly.

Dan's eyebrows rose as he watched the pony gesture at the other two with... hands. Some kind of gauntlets, a pair of metal gloves were attached to his brown hooves. He'd seen ponies stand up before, even shake hooves but metallic hands? What exactly did this mean?

"Well... we appreciate your support!" Flim replied.

"And we were wondering," Flam held his brother's shoulders, "if our partnership is successful, perhaps a position for the two of us within FIST?"

The lab coated- stallion scratched his chin with a metal hand. His eyes scanned not the area around them but Flim and Flam themselves. "I don't see why not. If you're successful at getting all of the Gears, and I do mean ALL of them, to the specified locations and installed, you can consider your own business a part of Future Integration Stable-Tec."

Flim and Flam beamed at the announcement. "Thank you, thank you! We assure you, you won't regret the decision, Mr. Vice Grip!"

"We'll be the best Overstallions you ever had!"

Vice chuckled. "Certainly, gentlecolts, certainly, now make sure that each of the Magic Gears is delivered to the areas I've specified. This is for the future of Equestria," he swept with a clenched glove. "A safer, more secure future for all of us."

"Absolutely!" the brothers happily agreed. "Flim and Flam are more than happy to be a part of Equestria's future."

Stepping back, Vice clasped his hands in front of him. "I'll contact you in a week when we're ready and assign you your Stable. I look forward to seeing you both in person."

The brothers bowed. "We look forward to seeing you too, sir." The image of Vice Grip flickered and faded. It had been a hologram of some sort.

Flam smiled. "Looking forward to seeing more of your bits, too." The twins laughed together and then turned around. Dan scrambled back through the boxes as the two approached the one he was next to. The crate glowed green and began to rotate, threatening to squash the human as he dashed past. Just as the container fully turned around, he edged through the narrow space, sidestepping through the other side.

"Good thing he didn't check on us now or he would've seen this," Flim remarked. The side of the box opposite Dan opened, the two brothers peering inside.

Dan grabbed his knees and panted, pressing his back against the other side of the box and trying to keep quiet; more to hear what was said than to not give away his position.

"I don't know, dear brother, perhaps our employer would've been thrilled by our modifications," Flam replied.

"Ehh, perhaps..." the other said. There was then a pause between them, like the two were silently considering the possibility.

"Then again, what Vice Grip doesn't know won't hurt him," Flam finally said.

"Or us," Dan heard Flim agree. "Besides, it's only natural to take the most efficient course of action anyway."

"Indeed," Flam said. "And I'm sure that Twilike Spockle's friends and Sweet Raffle Acres will enjoy our... adjustments, as well."

Did somepony say "raffle?"

Shut up, Michael.

"They'll be in for a big surprise!" The two chuckled again. "Can't wait to see the look on their faces!" After another moment, Dan heard the lid on the other side of the crate slide shut and the sound of hoofsteps walking away.

Dan exhaled again. He knew it! Flim and Flam were up to something, some kind of secret mechanism on those mechanical contraptions that they didn't tell Twilight and the others about! But what? And what kind of surprise were they in for?

Reaching into his pocket, Dan retrieved his cell phone. He had to warn Twilight and the others before Flim and Flam got back to them. He ran through his list of contacts: alphabetically, Chrys and Fluffle were at the top, he scrolled down to Twilight, just under Spike. His fingers couldn't press the touchscreen fast enough as he dialed her number. He held the phone to his ear and waited.

And waited. Aaaaaand waited.

The dial tone stopped. Dan looked at the phone's screen.

"Half a bar?! FAN-BUCKING-TASTIC! That just makes ALL the sense in the world and it's one-hundred percent non!" In a rage, Dan chucked the malfunctioning phone into the bushes. Really though, there was nothing wrong with the phone; areas high in magical density, like the Everfree Forest, often were plagued by poor signal reception. Except for holograms, which were a bit more sophisticated devices, not that Dan was aware or cared about that bit of trivia.

Rage dissipating, Dan's thoughts turned to alternatives. He could beat the brothers back to Twilight's but were they going there or somewhere else? No, the safest thing and probably the most satisfying thing would be instead of beating them to where they were going, just beating them. He unhooked the cane from behind his back and gripped the club menacingly.

Dan peered through the space between the boxes again. The two brothers were still departing the clearing, pulling a cart with another crate on it. As Dan stepped through the space, he noticed a label high on the crate:

FFG-mk 1 c. 725
Las Pegasus

Turning around, the other crate had a similar label:

FFG-mk 1b c. 898
Canterlantis

There had to be dozens of crates in the clearing and it seemed they were easy to manufacture. Which also probably meant they were cheap. Judging from the markings and the conversation earlier, Dan deduced that Flim and Flam were going to stick these things all over Equestria. But why?

"Canter-lantis?" Applebloom read the label. "Where d'ya suppose that is?"

"If I had to guess, probably the bottom of the- hey, Applebloom?!" Dan practically jumped when he finally noticed the filly standing next to him.

"Hiya, Dan!" she greeted him.

"What are you doing here?! How did you even get here?!" Dan demanded.

"I followed your footprints," she answered.

"No," Dan facepalmed, "I mean, how did you find this place? The trail ends back at the camp site," he explained.

"It does," the earth filly admitted, "but I actually knew about this place already."

Dan felt his jaw clench. "How?"

She pulled out a pamphlet from behind her. "It's in the brochure for the Flim Flam Gear they sold us."

The biped snatched the brochure. In fact, the area they were standing in was listed as one of three "convenient locations". Dan could've simply followed the enclosed map to reach them and avoid having to track the two salesponies entirely. The paper crumpled at the sides in his grip and he handed it back to the young mare.

The filly received it and then pulled out something else. "Also, I think this is your phone."

Dan closed his eyes, tension building. Even if she was trying to be helpful, Dan didn't enjoy being reminded of his frustration. Silently, he accepted his phone from her, thanked that it was undamaged despite his roughness, and pocketed it. "Thank you, Applebloom," he told her, a thin tone of calm holding back a tidal wave of rage. "You can go back to the farm now. I'm going to go ask Flim and Flam about their offer."

"What offer?" Applebloom asked innocently.

"Well," Dan explained, "if they don't offer to tell me everything they know right away, I'm going to offer them a choice of which crate they'd like to be stuffed into."

Applebloom frowned in discomfort. "That doesn't sound nice."

Dan knelt slightly and put a hand on Applebloom's mane. "Oh, believe me," he smiled a sinister grin. "It's an offer they can't refuse."

Her eyes looked back at him, concerned but supportive. "Well, you need any help?"

The human stood and thought about it for a moment. "You know, I think you can. Let me see that brochure again."

"Okay!" she hooved it back to him.

Dan unfolded the pamphlet and looked at the map. The trail they were on led to several different places. If Flim and Flam were heading back to Ponyville, it would be easy to intercept them at key points along the path. And with Applebloom's help, Dan thought of just how he was going to do that. "Let's go give the Flim Flam Brothers the deal of their lives."

"Ahh," Flim let out a relaxed sigh. "Nothing like an honest day's work, eh brother?"

"Nothing quite like it indeed," Flam agreed as the pair pulled the cart. "Precisely why we prefer the alternative!" Laughter ensued.

Dan approached the two from the side of the path. He took a moment to adjust his bowtie and fake moustache and then walked over to them from around the bend with package in hand. It was a small box wrapped in brown paper with the intended recipient's names on the top: The Flim Flam Brothers. Inside it, however, was a small explosive charge designed for removing tree stumps. Now, Dan was planning on using it to remove Flim and Flam.

"Got a package for Flim and Flam!" Dan announced to the two.

"Package?" the pair looked at each other. "I don't believe we ordered any package. Especially not to be delivered to us in the middle of the forest."

"Well, I have a package right here addressed to Flim and Flam," the disguised Dan said, handing them the brown box. "

Flam levitated it over to his brother and the two examined the parcel. "It does seem to be for us. But who's it from?"

"Umm," Dan didn't have an answer for that. His plan hadn't involved this small detail, a clear and critical oversight. "It's uh, it's to you! Obviously. It's got both your names right on it!"

"Yes," Flim agreed, "But what's the return address? Who's the package from?"

"I, uh..." Dan felt beads of sweat trickle down his neck as he tugged his collar.

"Ah," Flam tapped the top of the box. "It says Flim Flam Brothers right on it. That must be who it's from."

"Uh, well, I..." Dan continued to stammer, confused.

"Obviously, this package is for you," Flim said, hooving the box to Dan.

"But-but I didn't order a package," Dan protested.

"But you did receive it, didn't you?" Flam asked.

"Well, yes..." Dan admitted.

"And it's got our names on it. So clearly, this is a package from the Flim Flam Bros. to you!"

"Oh... all right. That makes sense... I guess," Dan took the package, now himself, skeptical.

Flim held out his hoof. "That'll be twenty-five bits, sir."

"What?! Oh fine, lousy shipping fees..." he reached into his pocket and gave the salespony a pair of bills. "Cash on deliver. More like 'scam on delivery'."

"Thank you very much, sir," Flim said, pocketing the money.

"We appreciate you choosing Flim Flam Telegrams!" The two brothers walked past him, pulling the cart.

Confused, Dan examined the package he momentarily forgot was intended for Flim and Flam.

"Uh... Dan?" Applebloom asked from behind a bush.

"Not now, Applebloom, I want to see what Flim and Flam sent me. It's probably important," Dan began removing the box's wrapping. "It could give us some kind of idea what they're up to. A clue, or another scam, or a-"

"Dan, wait!" she tried to stop him. But it was too late.

Dan ripped off the top of the wrapping paper. "Got it!" he announced.

Applebloom wasn't sure whether the realization or the force of the explosion hit Dan first. It might've been both simultaneously. The small box erupted into flames and small bits of packing paper.

"Dan? Are you all right?" Applebloom asked. When the smoke cleared, Dan's face and arms were completely blackened, his hair was blasted out at random angles, his shirt was torn and burnt and trails of smoke rose from him. His fake moustache, singed and burned at both ends, slowly detached from under his nose and floated to the ground like an ember.

At first, Dan's expression was still one of pure shock. Then, as the disbelief faded, the fact that he'd been duped began to boil in his mind. His skin immediately turned red, hotter and redder than the explosion that had only moments ago engulfed him. The ash faded from his face and arms, his hair returned to its traditional style, the fingers still clutching the pieces of the boxes released them only briefly to better form fists before he threw both arms skyward and shouted to the heavens:

"FLIM FLAM BROTHERS!!!!"

A challenging call that challenged even the noise from the explosion he'd subjected himself to, the time for retaliation had come.

"Dan, shhh!!" the young filly shushed him. "You want 'em to hear us?"

"What I want," Dan turned to his accomplice, "is to hear both of them scream for their lives! How was it they even DID THAT?"

Applebloom rubbed the back of her neck. "Well, you did open the box. I guess you could say that plan kinda blew up in your face," she giggled.

"Gnrrrrrrrrrrr," Dan growled, unamused. "All right, so we know they screen their mail. Now, we go to plan B."

"What's 'plan b'?" Applebloom asked, curious. She had no reason to be nervous; after all, it was Dan who'd gotten exploded.

The diabolical biped grinned a sinister smile. "Plan B- as in, 'bait'".

And that made Applebloom swallow.

Transitioning to the next scene, partially because we're over budget and partially because this is a cartoon, Flim and Flam continued their trek to Ponyville. If they had been aware that it was Dan that had tried to sabotage them only minutes ago, they wouldn't have cared. His ploy had been so obvious and so simple to reverse that they had practically completely forgotten about the event, merrily pulling the cart with carefree smiles.

Dan watched the two approach 'Plan B' through a pair of binoculars he just conveniently happened to have with him. Applebloom watched along with him as the pair entered another clearing, one frequently used as a camp site. The pair still pulled the box on the cart behind them, occasionally the large crate grazed the taller branches of some trees. Dan gritted his teeth; they would find out what they were up to soon enough.

Flim and Flam noticed the crate the moment they entered the camp site. What was strange about the box was that it was positioned at an odd angle, propped on its side by a stick holding it up. If this was somepony's idea of shelter, clearly they were either lacking in experience, materials or both.

Ah! But what was that underneath the box? The two brothers spied a small pile of brownish coins just beneath the crate. A tempting prize for anypony but for Flim and Flam? Clearly, this was an opportunity too good to pass up. Just as it was clear to both of the brothers as they grinned at each other that this was another trap.

"Brother, do those appear to be bits under that crate?" Flim asked as the two came closer.

"Why, I do believe they are, brother," Flam answered, sounding only too casual.

Flim and Flam unhitched themselves from their cart and walked over to the other oddly-placed box. "What fortune has smiled upon us for we to find these bits just lying here? Out in the open? With no indication of obvious trickery in sight?"

From the bushes nearby, Dan's smile grew wider. They were buying it! This was it...

"It's a sure sign of our good karma, brother," Flam declared. "A reward for all our deeds."

"That it is," Flim agreed, and the two walked underneath the wooden canopy, taking care not to jar the stick holding it on its side.

As soon as Flam knelt to pick up the small coins, Applebloom's allowance, the human yanked the string attached to the box. The string jerked the stick and the corner of the box closed over the two unicorns, covering them.

"Ah HA!" Dan shouted. He leapt from the bushes and dashed over to his victims. In a single jump, he pounced on top of the box, using his own weight so they wouldn't be able to lift it. "HA! Ha ha ha ha ha HA!" he cackled a series of taunting, in-your-face laughs. "You're both mine now! And you're not going anywhere until you tell me why you're-"*WOMP*.

Applebloom poked her head out from the hedge, puzzled. She didn't know where it came from, but somehow, another, larger box had fallen on top of Dan, trapping him underneath it. The crate began shaking as an enraged Dan tried to remove the new crate.

And that's when Flim and Flam appeared from the side. "We appreciate your kind donation, sir," Flam said, kicking the box with a hoof.

"And for taking an interest in our shipping crates, we thought you'd like to take a closer look at the larger size one!" Flim said. A muffled scream echoed from the wooden container as Dan discovered he'd been tricked again. The two brothers laughed, flipped bits in their hooves and walked away along with their cart. "Good thing we brought a spare box, eh brother?"

"Couldn't agree more, myself!" the pair laughed as they walked away.

Leveraging her back underneath the side of the box, the two pushed it off of the hapless hominid. "All right, then," Dan said, standing atop his own crate, "we know they're resourceful now."

"And?" Applebloom protested, "That doesn't tell us anything useful. This is the second time they've switched things around on you..." she said, concern in her tone.

"It's all an important learning experience," Dan assured her. "We've tried to trick them by giving them something in order to gain the advantage but what we NEED to do is make them come to us!"

Applebloom raised an eyebrow. "Which means what?"

"Which means Plan C," Dan replied, determined. The filly let out an exhausted moan and followed her compatriot back to the drawing board.

Travelers of the Everfree Forest knew to expect anything when walking through the dense woods. Dangers lurked in the underbrush from poisonous plants and animals to predatory beasts and even crap leftover from the previous generations of MLP that Hasbro couldn't find room for but couldn't get rid of. Also a bunch of Space Pirates and creatures from Metroid, including Metroids. Hell, they needed somewhere to go after Other M.

But what Flim and Flam didn't expect to see was actually in the path in front of them: a tunnel. Carved into a rock face that mysteriously materialized ahead of them, it wasn't on the map they'd been following but now appeared to be the only way to continue on their path. A yellow sign out front had the word DETOUR painted on it in black letters.

The two brothers eyed each other skeptically before pulling their cart inside.

The 'mountainside tunnel' had in fact been created by Dan roughly thirty minutes after his last trap's spectacular failure. One of his more ingenious innovations, what appeared to be a corridor through the side of a rock wall was a paper mache mockup, painted gray and layered on top of a wooden frame. The tunnel itself was just a long tube made from a portion of the set leftover from Episode 4. Where it led, however, was another thing entirely.

Inside the tunnel, the tube ran right over a large hole in the ground, at the bottom of which was about five tub's worth of Jelly Stallion's jelly. Dan had originally wanted to use spikes for the trap but Apple Bloom had wisely encouraged him to go with a less-violent substitute. Jelly Stallion himself was happy to donate the jelly; he had lost a great deal of interest in the substance since discovering fruit-somewhere-in-it yogurt.

The devious human cupped his hand over his ear, listening for his targets at the other end of the darkened tunnel. His filly accomplice listened with him, both eager to hear the telltale sound of salesponies falling into a pit of jam.

Hoofsteps echoed down the corridor. "I can hear them coming!" Dan said. The clip clop sounds grew louder as Flim and Flam approached.

"Uh, Dan?" the filly asked.

"What is it?" Dan said quickly.

"Shouldn't we have heard them, I don't know, fall by now?"

"Quiet!" Dan shushed her, listening again. "Those two are almost here!"

The hoofsteps grew louder, louder still. Dan waited eagerly, the anticipation almost reaching threshold inside of him.

"Afternoon, Dan! Afternoon, Apple Bloom!" the brothers said simultaneously as they exited the tunnel.

"Hey guys, how's it going," Dan quickly replied, not paying attention as both of them walked right by him.

Apple Bloom watched as the stallions passed them, pulling the cart still behind them. She then turned to Dan, still waiting for their clearly-failed trap to be sprung. "Dan?" she turned back to her friend.

"QUIET!" he yelled. Dan continued to listen.

She tapped him on the leg. "Dan?"

He spun around and yelled at her. "WHAT?!"

Unphased, Apple Bloom pointed to the departing brothers. The salesponies chuckled as they continued on the trail, pulling the cart behind them.

Dan's eyelid twitched, his skin seeming to shake. His hands raised up in front of him, outstretched as if to strangle the scammers from a distance. "How... HOW DID THEY DO THAT?" he demanded.

Apple Bloom shrugged. "Maybe they walked around it."

"THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE!" Dan screamed. "THERE'S NO WAY THEY COULD'VE GOTTEN PAST THE PIT!" He turned around and charged into the tunnel.

"Dan!" the filly reached out to stop him, again, too late. "I don't think that's such a good-"

"EAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" a scream echoed from the tunnel. The trap had finally been sprung.

Carefully, Apple Bloom entered the corridor herself to help Dan. Only light from either end illuminated the inside, ensuring that whoever entered wouldn't notice the missing floor in the center. Including Dan. And as the young filly approached, it was obvious how Flim and Flam had evaded it. She peered over the hole into the jelly pit below. "Are you all right, Dan?"

"Glrrblrallrbrlllrrlrlrlrlrlrb..." Angry bubbles broke the surface of the substance conveying Dan's rage from beneath the fruity pool. He lay face down in the jam, body unwilling to accept being foiled a third time.

Apple Bloom examined the tube. On the sides of the trap she saw the logos of each of their horseshoes. From inside of the tunnel, the two brothers had simply walked around the hole. On the walls themselves. The cart's wheels had been wide enough dodge the gap all together. "Looks like they noticed the pit, Dan."

Dan picked his head up. "Yeah, me too."

"So what do we-"

"Plan D. Cut to the next scene, please."

"Sure seems like we've been walking through this forest for quite some time, doesn't it?" Flim asked.

"I must agree, brother," Flam said. "Seems like we should've been out of the Everfree Forest some time ago."

"Maybe we got lost?" Flim suggested.

"Or maybe the writer's just trying to pad out the episode." The two brothers took a moment to turn to the camera and frown at the author before continuing onward. No tunnels or detours currently ahead of them, they proceeded along the wide path through the woods. The trail remained unbroken for a good distance, the cart containing the Flim Flam Gear still rolling behind them.

"Haven't noticed any 'inconveniences' in quite a while, brother," Flam said, looking around.

"Indeed, our travels appear to have gotten smoother," Flim said. Unbeknownst to both of them, however, they were being watched. Through several multi-phased filters, including biometric, infrared and thermal.

Perched from a tree branch perpendicular to the path were Dan and Apple Bloom. For no reason other than to make yet another obscure movie reference, the pair were wearing those masks from Predator which, to be honest, looked pretty cool on Dan and even Apple Bloom looked cute in hers. We even got that sound effect they use for when they're watching and they're invisible. It's pretty cool.

"They're getting closer," Dan said, watching the sales stallions.

"What?" Apple Bloom asked.

"I said; THEY'RE GETTING CLOSER!"

The filly removed her mask. "Dan, are these things really helping?"

Dan took off his own piece of vintage movie merchandise. "I guess not." They both discarded the masks. Dan then picked up a monocular and peered through it. "They're almost in position, get ready."

Flim and Flam continued walking along the trail until they spied something glinting in the middle of it.

"Why, look brother! A coin!" Flim announced.

"Ah, good fortune strikes us again!" Flam said. The two approached the coin lying right in front of them.

"NOW!" Dan shouted.

The brothers got close to the coin.

"Wait!" Flim held his hoof to stop his brother. "That coin's lying face down." Just as the first salespony stopped the other, an enormous boulder attached to a rope swung right by where they would have stood if they'd knelt to pick it up.

"You're correct, brother," Flam agreed. "Would be a shame to spoil our good luck by trying to pick up a coin lying face down." Their attention diverted to each other in conversation, neither of them noticed as the boulder swung back in front of them.

Dan grumbled in the tree. "FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" he yelled. "What is it gonna take for me to crush those two?"

"Uh, Dan?"

"AM I GONNA SMASH ANYTHING TODAY?!"

"You might wanna move..." Apple Bloom said, jumping down from the tree as she did.

"WHY?!" Dan had time to ask that question and then turn around before the boulder, attached from a higher branch, swung like a pendulum back to the point it had been released from and into his face. He found himself crushed to the side of the stone, limbs spread out as it swung back across the path again. Gravity taking hold, he fell off the side and landed in the middle of the trail.

Flim and Flam had already departed, oblivious to Dan's trap. The smashed human had the chance to pick up his head and watch them
leave before he noticed the coin he'd left as bait lying in front of him. Reaching a hand out, he picked it up, held it in front of him and smiled.

And that's when the boulder detached and smashed him into the ground. It sounded a lot like a Thwomp when it hit him.

Apple Bloom, using leverage, removed the boulder from Dan's back. "You all right, Dan?" she asked innocently.

Dan's face rose off the ground, coin imprinted in his forehead. "It must just be my luck."

"You know Dan," Apple Bloom started to suggest, "I think we might wanna just try talking to them and askin' them what they're up to."

"That. Will. Never. Work," the biped said flatly.

The filly shrugged. "We could at least try it."

Dan scrambled to his feet. "Not just yet. I have one more plan I want to try first."

Apple Bloom groaned. "What is it this time?"

"Something that can't POSSIBLY fail!"

11 minutes later...

Apple Bloom stood over the hole, looking at Dan face down in goo again. "How did you get stuck in jelly again?"

Covered in jelly, Dan lifted his head up. "I... don't.... know..."

"Can we try asking them now?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Yes... yes, let's do that," Dan agreed.

Northern Equestria, Prosperity Mountains
Crystal Imperial/Zebra Nation Borderlands, Restricted Area
Unauthorized Underground Structure 'Stable 5', Level 4 Administration

Until last week, Lightning Claw hadn't known what a 'stable' was, not in the sense of the one he was in now. Given the nature of the organization he was a part of, he understood the need for such secrecy but he still found himself curious. He didn't know much about F.I.S.T- Future Integrations Stable-Tec or the ponies in charge, for that matter but he did know that despite their nature, they were deeply invested in Equestria's future. And it was a future Lightning Claw meant to be a part of.

Other ponies, other creatures for that matter, none of them seemed to care about the future of their world. When two sisters literally controlled day and night, it was hard not to take things day by day. But too many did so at the expense of the future, getting stuck in their ways to the point they didn't seem to care about tomorrow, in Lighting Claw's opinion, anyway. The indigo-and-pink Pegasus had tried to do just that; improve things for the future. Because of this, his life had been ruined.

Lightning Claw had attempted to solve the 'rogue storm problem' that plagued Cloudsdale's weather service for so long. Pegasi controlled the weather but occasionally, a storm got loose and it could wreak havoc when it happened. Rogue storms caused property damage and could even become larger, more dangerous disasters to Equestria. When a storm did go rogue, pegasi had to hunt it down and wrangle it, requiring more pegasi to do so the larger the storm. If they could only use magic, a single Pegasus could stop a rogue storm before it got out of hoof. Lightning Claw had tried to make himself that Pegasus and failed miserably.

Alicorns had both wings and magic, some of the most powerful ponies in Equestria. Surely if any pony could stop a rogue storm, it would be a pony that could use magic and fly. Lightning Claw had attempted to give himself that power, make himself an alicorn. In that regard, he had succeeded. It had only cost him a good portion of his sanity.

Working in one of Cloudsdale's weather experimentation laboratories, Lightning Claw combined zebra potions with rainbow-making technology to allow him to harness the natural and supernatural. The resulting concoction gifted him with a horn and the ability to control and even produce weather effects, storms and clouds of all kinds. Unfortunately, his newfound abilities quickly became something he couldn't control and he unintentionally created a rogue storm that devastated half of Cloudsdale before it was stopped. By the Wonderbolts, of all ponies.

Even know, thinking about the Wonderbolts made Lightning Claw angry. Those showoffs had stopped his storm right when he was about to get it under control. Their intervention caused the storm to backfire and blast him, nearly electrocuting him in the process. He fell like a stone to the surface of Equestria, unconscious. When he woke up, he found himself with two broken wings, three broken legs and one broken horn. The hospital had been able to fix five of those things.

Upon returning to Cloudsdale, Lightning Claw found himself banned from the weather service. For trying to help, to do the right thing, he had been fired. To make matters worse, the broken-off horn that adorned his head gave him an off-putting appearance. He had been unable to find more work and soon after, his marefriend Lightning Dust had broken up with him. She claimed that she herself had just learned a lesson about the "reckless endangerment of others" but Lightning Claw didn't see how what happened at the Wonderbolt Academy related to his disaster at the Weather Labs. He had been trying to help other ponies but nopony, not even his marefriend, seemed to understand that.

But Vice Grip did, or so he claimed.

"I could fix that horn, if you wanted," Vice Grip offered as the two walked side-by-side through Stable 5.

Lightning Claw didn't want the horn fixed; it was a reminder to him, a reminder of the price of failure. He said nothing back.

Vice continued. "I could repair it, replace it, or remove it all together if you-"

"No," Claw refused.

"Fine, fine," Vice responded, calm as ever. "You still taking the medication?"

Claw paused before answering. "Yes."

"Good, good. Keep taking it and it should keep the pain from coming back." Vice Grip led him to a door marked Overstallion's Office at the end of the hallway. Next to it was another door with the word DIRECTOR on it. From the appearance of both doors, they looked as though they were new.

Using the gauntlets over his hooves, Vice keyed in a sequence at the terminal beside the door. It shuddered but didn't open. He keyed the sequence again, tapping faster and the door didn't budge an inch. Frustrated, the bipedal stallion reached out to pry the sliding entrance open when Lightning Claw beat him to it.

Lightning Claw's horn glowed a sickly violet and blue, the door resounded with the same color. It shook and then raised, sliding into the slot in the wall above it.

"Impressive," Vice said. "Most impressive."

The indigo stallion released the door, strained by the exertion. Despite his broken horn, he still retained a small amount of magic. Enough to perform menial tasks but nothing major. For some reason though, Vice was still interested in it. "I... thought you hated magic."

"Haha," Vice chuckled. "Hate magic? Whatever gave you that idea?" he asked as the two entered his office.

"You hate alicorns, unicorns," Claw reminded him. He knew he did; their entire operation, what they were planning, the point of the Magic Gears! All of this to wipe everything with a horn off the face of Equestria, how could he NOT hate them?!

"Ah, the arcanists. Those are magic-users, not magic itself," Vice pointed out, taking a seat behind his desk. Lightning took the chair in front though he wasn't as accustomed to bipedalism as Vice Grip was. The Overstallion's Office looked more like a principle's office, something you'd see in a school rather than in a bunker. There was a green chalkboard on the wall behind Vice full of figures and numbers, things that seemed to be in a language of their own. On Vice's desk were several papers, an electronic intercom system and a small globe. But the world the globe displayed didn't appear to be Equestria.

Also, for some reason, there was a Galaga arcade machine in the right-hoof corner of the room. Curiously, it looked as though it had recently been played as it was on before Vice and Lightning entered the room.

Supposedly, Stable 5 was one of a network of a hundred such shelters built throughout Equestria. They were each equipped with everything two-thousand ponies would need to ride out Armageddon. Not that Vice or Lightning were planning on an apocalypse, not exactly. Just something new, something better. A leveling of the playing field.

"But you do hate them, don't you?" Lightning pressed.

The brown stallion ran his metal fingers over the desk in a rapping motion. Despite the fact the limbs were artificial and he didn't really feel anything, Vice often demonstrated casual displays of dexterity or made gestures. More advanced, he called it, but most others found it unnecessary and flamboyant. "Hate is a strong word. What we're doing, we're doing to level the playing field, so to speak."

"That part I understand," Claw said. He himself did hate magic, mostly. He hated any pony that could make a difference just sit on their haunches and do nothing. If Celestia, Luna and even Cadence had this much power, why did they let disasters like renegade weather happen? Why was it the pegasi's responsibility to contain storms? Cloudsdale needed an alicorn prince... or at least, that's what he had thought. Now, he was convinced what the whole world needed was a fresh start, the second chance he never got.

"Magic is necessary," Vice kicked his boots up on the desk. "How it's harnessed though, I think we both agree, can be done better. That's what we're trying to do, what F.I.S.T is trying to do. Make the world a better place."

"And I'm going to be a part of that?" Lightning asked.

Vice smiled for a second, holding a somewhat sly grin on him. "Of course. Once the Gears take care of the arcanists, Cloudsdale will be yours to control. The skies will be yours," he assured him as he had before.

The thought of controlling the skies, finally reigning in the weather, that was his goal. He looked away as if he could see it, his own Cloudsdale. Things the way they should be. "How long until we're ready?"

The lab coated stallion casually looked at the wrist of his gauntlet as if checking a watch. "The selected groups should be receiving their letters already with the specified arrival times enclosed. We have to space things out so ponies don't get suspicious but it won't be long before the... festivities get started. As soon as our delivery boys have finished up, we can start phase two."

Lightning Claw nodded. Everything they'd been planning for was slowly coming together piece by piece. He just had to keep playing his role. But his wasn't the only role. "Are you sure you can trust Flim and Flam?"

Vice grinned again. "Greed is easily manipulated, as are fear and other emotions." Claw didn't notice as he cast a quick glance in his direction. "But I didn't call you here to discuss Equestria, more rather, our guests from Earth."

"Is this about Dan? Or the other one?"

Vice leaned forward and clasped his hands. "Cross-Eye's doing his best to deal with Wright but I'm not that worried about the lawyer at this point. I want you to go retrieve Dan."

Lightning rose an eyebrow. What did he mean by retrieve? "I thought the Director instructed that Dan wasn't to be bothered."

Vice waved away the suggestion. "He's bothering us, Lightning. We've lost Shifty and the Mk-1 prototype, in the same night for that matter. I don't enjoy upsetting the director but the fact is, Dan's becoming a nuisance. According to our surveillance," he switched on a monitor attached to the wall. An overhead image appeared of Dan standing at the end of a tunnel, listening for something alongside another pony. Two stallions, Flim and Flam exited pulling a cart behind them, one of the mass produced Magic Gears.

"Ah, he's in the Everfree Forest," Vice remarked.

"He's interfering with Flim and Flam?"

"So you know what the stakes are," Vice swung around. "He's already jeopardized our operation once and now he's disrupting the distribution system. We need to take him out of the equation."

Something didn't sit right with Lightning Claw about his request. There was a lot that didn't sit right with him, so much about this plan. But there was no other way, something told him that. A heavy pain formed just behind his forehead and focused on his horn. Unfortunately, it was louder than the voice screaming it was wrong. "Do you..." Claw fought to find words, fought through the pain. "Do you really think-"

Vice leaned forward, his eyes narrowed. "Go on..." he said in a slightly stern tone.

"Do you really think this is the right thing to do?" Claw swallowed. Slowly, the pain abated. He almost forgot that he'd asked a question in the first place, it seemed to be a moment that happened hours ago.

Vice was quiet for a moment, contemplating. He rapped his digits against each other as he seemed to weigh several options, consider several possibilities at once. "What exactly do you mean?"

"Well, trying to... capture Dan. I mean, couldn't we just distract him somehow?"

The lab coated stallion leaned back. "Are you concerned for your own well-being?"

"Yes," Lightning quickly nodded. "I mean, he took out a Gear. By himself, essentially. What chance do I have of beating him in a fight?"

Vice chuckled. "The Mk. 1 was a prototype and Luna's modifications didn't help its chances. Also, keep in mind that it had been programmed to takedown alicorns, not Dan. In that regard, the Mk. 1 did come close to finishing off Celestia even without most of its defensive weapons."

"He still managed to stop it..." Claw argued.

"You helped me design Magic Gear. It's your own little experiment that first gave me the idea to harness magic using zebra potion."

Lightning looked away. "I know..."

"Do you want me to send you with backup? I can have Ice Pick or Fire Talon ready to assist," Vice reached for the intercom.

"No, I," Claw rose and stopped Vice from calling his 'brothers'. "I'll... I'll take care of it. Alone."

"All right," Vice slowly released the controls. "Once we have our special guest here, we'll see how he stands up to the production model." Things were tense; they were both worked up by what they were trying to accomplish and there was no room for error. It didn't mean one or two didn't crop up now and then.

Claw walked over to the bank of monitors on the left wall. As he watched the display, Dan seemed to run back into the tunnel for some reason. He could barely make out the smaller pony rubbing her face with her hoof before following him. "What do you want me to do about the girl?"

"Bring her in, too," Vice said without hesitation. "I'm still trying to keep Flim and Flam in the dark for... obvious reasons but they're still useful. For now. Deliver all four of them back here."

Lightning turned back to him. "I understand. But... sir," he got up, looked down. "Do you hate all magic-users?"

The gauntleted stallion walked over and put a metal hand on his back. "Lightning... you're not like the other arcanists. You did what you had to do, for the betterment of all. I'm trying to make sure ALL of us can harness magic through practical means. You're helping me with that goal, helping all of us."

Lightning nodded again, solemnly before walking out of the office. What they were doing, they were doing for the good of all Equestria. A new beginning for all of them, a second chance for him. They were doing everything right, couldn't make any mistakes, weren't making any mistakes. Were they?

Vice returned to his chair behind his desk. "And be sure to keep taking your medication."

"Of course," Claw said over his shoulder. "Of course..." Before returning to the elevator and leaving Stable 5, he cast a glance at the door marked DIRECTOR one last time. More than one pair of eyes was on him and he knew that. He had spoken to the director, well, had been in the director's company only once before. He was anything if as talkative as Vice.

But just as the door to the Overstallion's office shuddered and closed shut, the door to the Director's office opened. Lightning gasped, surprised to see some... thing else standing in the doorway.

"Hello," the director said in a pleasant voice. But Lightning suddenly found himself unable to say anything. Before he knew what was happening, he was in the Director's office but there was nowhere for him to sit this time. The door slid shut behind him.

"Okay, first we tie them down, then we-"

"No."

"All right, we beat them first, then we tie them down and then-"

"No."

"Well, what then," Dan said to Apple Bloom. "Do you want to beat them first and then tie them down or tie them down, THEN beat them, then interrogate them, then beat them again. Or we could beat them-"

The smaller pony glared at him. "Dan..."

"Hear me out," the human protested. "First we pretend we're asking them a question, then we break their legs, tie them down-"

"Dan," Apple Bloom said with a heavy sigh, "we ain't tying down Flim and Flam."

"But we still get to beat them, right?" Dan brandished his improvised weapon.

The young filly grabbed her head in frustration. "Look, maybe I should go talk to them? Alone?"

"Without me?" Dan asked. They'd almost caught up to the brothers, only a clearing away from them as they neared the end of the trail. "What makes you think you can get them to tell you anything?"

Apple Bloom batted her eyelashes at Dan, blinking a pair of enormous puppy dog eyes. "Om adorable~!"

Dan remained unphased by the display of cuteness. "AND WHAT AM I?!"

She paused. Dan's expression was somewhere between scowl and frown. Scrowln, for lack of a better word. He exuded hateful anger in vibes but it was the kind you sympathized with. That made it almost disarming for ponies so long as they weren't the ones it was being directed at. His visage was nothing short of modern barbarism, borderline berserk, vintage vengeance and that classic carnage-craving crazy that we all know and love. In short, he looked mad. In more ways than one. "Do I have to answer that?"

"Grrrr," Dan growled in frustration. "I'll tell ya what I am!" he reached into his pocket and pulled out a badge. It was a small emblem, a blue star flanked by three things: a quill, an olive branch and a wing. The traditional symbol for the royal guards was just a blue star- this badge was a modified one, more modern. In the center were the words Special Tactics and Logistics Legion. "I'm a royal guard captain! You think Flim and Flam won't pay attention to this?"

The young pony frowned at the badge. "I thought y'all were only Twilight's personal guard?"

"Well," Dan dropped his arm. "That doesn't mean-"

"And don't you have to have her permission to exercise your authority?"

"That-that depends, I mean, I-"

Apple Bloom pressed her face right up to his. "And isn't your jurisdiction really Canterlot? I thought y'all were only supposed to take care of her individual safety and this doesn't really seem like a security risk unless you're supposed to guard against poor judgment which really doesn't-"

"FINE!" Dan gave up. Instantly, the position of Royal Guard Captain felt like Mall Cop. Or more precisely, Library Cop. Once they got the library fixed, anyway. Still, it wasn't a position he was just going to throw away so he pocketed the badge once again. At the very least, his service to Equestria was recognized and he was going to keep it that way. This was for Twilight, for Fluffle Puff and especially for Chrys. Why he added especially to the last part, he didn't know. They were his friends and he would protect them... somehow.

"I think this situation just calls for a gentler touch," Apple Bloom said, respectfully.

Dan folded his arms in frustration. "Whatever. Go deal with those scam artists if you buy something that destroys your farm, don't come crying to me."

"Okay, Dan," the filly said. "You got a good heart. You just need to work on your... social skills."

The young man 'hmmph'd' and shrugged at the pony. "Social skills, right."

"I'm gonna go see if they'll tell me what they're up to. I'll be back as soon as I can!" the filly scampered down the trail after the two stallions.

"Yeah, I'll be right here when it blows up in your face!" Dan called after her. He sat himself down on a nearby log in the clearing, arms still folded. The sun was still high in the sky, getting close to noon. High noon, appropriately enough for what would happen next. Not knowing what else to do, Dan surveyed his surroundings.

The occasional sounds of fauna provided background noise. The forest was alive with activity. So close to Ponyville, most animals that went near the clearings were herbivores, non-violent and non-magical. Once in a while, a bear or some beast would come by the frequented paths making even this camp site dangerous once in a while. But none of these dangers bothered Dan though he had thought of trying to cover Flim and Flam in honey to lure a bear to maul them.

Birds flew overhead. Once in a while, Dan could faintly hear a droning buzz that seemed to be nearby. He swatted his neck almost instinctively.

It actually wasn't far from the spot Dan had literally landed in Equestria on. It didn't seem so long ago; only a year had gone by since Dan had found himself a stranger in a strange land. He had to admit it was better than the alternative. Falling out of a plane, he would've died if he hadn't been transported somehow to Equestria and been caught by Rainbow Dash. Had he ever thanked her for that? Maybe after he was done with Flim and Flam, he'd have to do that.

In fact, Dan had been trying to pay the ponies, all the ponies back since Twilight had let him stay at her library. For Dan, a debt or a favor was just as important as pursuing justice. Getting even, being fair, equality, peace, harmony. Those things mattered to him a lot.

The main difference between ponies in Equestria and humans on Earth was the way their societies worked. Humanity was too often driven to advance through competition whereas ponies achieved more primarily through cooperation. It was a desire to help each other rather than help themselves that propelled them forward and while the difference was subtle and not the subject of every circumstance, it occurred often enough on both worlds over generations to create profound differences that changed the way both developed.

Despite Equestria's somewhat rural appearance, it was almost every bit as technologically advanced as Earth was. But the spread of these advances weren't carried by greed or jealousy; there was just an absence of desire to implement them unless they were needed regardless of whether they made things easier or not. The concept of having something just because another pony had one was foreign in many cases. Everypony is unique and is born that way. Why would they need the same stuff?

This attitude had stopped the spread of cell phones though they were available. Songs still spread fast though each was danced to a different way, even played a different way. Culture still transmitted, knowledge was still shared but traditions were still upheld as were the ways they were carried out. Because of these simple facts, this desire to work together, changes happened at a slower pace on a society level but more rapidly on an individual level. Humans, on the other side, rarely changed on an individual level yet their society jumped in leaps and bounds.

The desire for cooperation, for mutual gain caused ponies to grow with society. Inversely, humanity's desire to help themselves more caused society to grow with them; only when one rose above to create something more, to imagine bigger did it have a major impact. Too often, people just gave up. Ponies didn't and some humans didn't either. Some humans like Dan.

Unfortunately, Equestria's attitude towards cooperation also meant the sharing of problems. Small, individual difficulties often affected the entire community, further slowed things down. Not only that, emphasis on so much uniqueness instead of a distribution of advances like on Earth created an entire society reliant on each individual member. In the event of crisis, ponies went to the one pony that could solve their problems and if they were unable to help, panic ensued. Most humans had cell phones, knew who to call in an emergency. This was what Dan was trying to teach the ponies; to use their own unique gifts even if they weren't the most gifted.

Equestria's focus on cooperation had created what Earth was lacking: common sense. Unfortunately, it came with the price of a herd mentality that Dan was fighting to break them out of. Even if he had to demonstrate it himself.

Little did he know, there was another pony trying to do something similar, somepony just as frustrated with things in Equestria as Dan. In fact, more so.

Vice Grip smacked the side of the monitor with his gauntlet, trying to 'manually' get a better picture. The Spritebots were only in their prototype phase and still had some kinks to work out. They weren't even ready to start relaying patriotic music yet, let alone be modified to carry lasers. Not only that, they weren't stealthy so Vice was doing his best to keep it out of Dan's sight until he was ready. Still, he wanted to see how well Lightning Claw took care of things even if he couldn't hear it.

"Having trouble?" a voice asked.

"Gah!" Vice gasped. He turned to see the cloaked figure of the Director standing in the doorway. "I... sorry, I was just having a little reception trouble."

"Okay," the figure said in a casual tone. Since having met the being calling itself the 'Director' years ago, they had never shown their face. They always appeared the same way, wearing that same black cloak pulled down just enough so their face was obscured... if they even had a face. He watched as the figure walked or rather seemed to glide over the floor to him. "Mind if I join you?"

"N-not at all," Vice said, trying to hide his unease. The figure, originally appearing to be on all fours pulled back, the sleeves came together at the ends in a monk-like stance and it stood, the skirt of the cloak falling to the floor. It leaned forward next to him to look at the monitor.

Vice Grip had to admit that without the Director's help, his plans wouldn't have stood a chance. Fighting alicorns was one thing but possibly starting a war with another planet, that was something he wasn't prepared for. Not yet and without the Director's help, he wouldn't be.

The Director seemed to know a lot about Earth, even had several books on the subject. But when the creature had appeared to him shortly after the day of that trial, the Director claimed that both the arcanists and the humans had to be taken care of simultaneously. And that meant careful planning.

With an army of Metal Dogs, the same clan of ore hounds that had taken him in all those years ago, Vice had built much. The Director's resources seemed to be unlimited; whenever there was a problem, it seemed they had a solution. But the solutions didn't seem to be coming from Equestria so Vice naturally assumed that the Director had to be from Earth. Two individuals scorned by their homes, united by a common purpose to exact revenge on both. They were allies... more or less.

Most of the time, the Director remained at the deepest part of the mines nearby at the Prosperity Mountains. Stable 5 had been built under the railway station at the foot of the mountains, access to the mining facility was only a few steps away. The mines themselves hadn't provided ore in years; they were now the massive factories and complexes of Vice Grip's organization, F.I.S.T. Deep within the mountain, weapons and armor were created, researched and tested alongside Operation: KING ME- the production of Magic Gear.

Originally, Vice Grip had intended to use Magic Gear to just attack and conquer Equestria but now, on the Director's advice, he switched strategies. With Flim and Flam, they were distributing the Gears to every major population center in the world. Soon, when the time was right, they would initiate phase 2 of their plan. And Vice Grip would be king. Supposedly.

The mysterious puppeteer scanned the console. "You're keeping tabs on Dan?" the Director asked.

"I am, yes," Vice admitted. "I just sent Lightning Claw after him and the others."

The hooded figure suddenly turned to him. "I thought I told you not to interfere with the humans."

The move was so sudden, Vice took a step back. The room felt as if it just dropped fifteen degrees temperature. But the move had another effect, something that made Vice's stomach knot.

A muzzle protruded from the hood along with a lock of hair. Both were pale white, sickly-pale white. The hair itself was long, thin. It was almost luminescent on its own. Vice found himself unable to speak at the site of this knew development. The muzzle itself looked like nothing he'd seen before but not quite corpse-like. Beyond discordant and yet, animate. And it was that of a mare's.

"I instructed you specifically not to bother the humans after what happened with Nick," the Director said. The right sleeve rose to its head. Protruding from it though, to Vice Grip's shock, was not a pale hoof to match the female muzzle but long, thin, fingers. Black fingers, almost as black as the hood ending in pale nails. It pulled down the hood to obscure the face once again.

"I... I... uh," Vice stammered.

"Hey, it's all right," the Director stopped him. Their... her voice was calm, still friendly. Her voice had a strange liquid-y quality to it but the tone conveyed a calm manner. It still creeped the shit out of Vice Grip.

"D-Dan was messing with our distribution system, harassing Flim and Flam," Vice said, regaining his composure.

"We still have the other delivery systems, don't we?" she asked. The figure turned back to the monitor.

"We do," Vice replied, "but we require all of them to initiate phase 2 so any problems with Flim and Flam could disrupt things."

"Okay, so you sent Lightning Claw out there to stop him?"

"Yes and I made it clear I wanted him apprehended," Vice turned his own attention back to the display.

"Cool," the Director remarked. "Ya know, Dan's probably gonna kick his butt."

"I... wouldn't be so sure," Vice said. He was troubled by his compatriot's lack of confidence but maybe she did know more than him about humans.

"I would," the Director responded casually, still staring at the screen. "There's a reason I told you not to disturb them."

"And that is?" Vice was beginning to get annoyed. If she knew something he didn't know, he wanted her to fess up. "They can't use magic, they have no environmental powers, no innate strengths-"

"That's all true," the Director said, still focused on the screen. "We aren't born with anything extraordinary. But we can become extraordinary if the right circumstances arise. You make any mistake with humans, Vice, and it can be fatal. Everything you do, they learn from. This isn't like fighting Celestia where you control how the game is played. Humans often change the rules."

"What does that even mean?" Vice demanded, angry.

The Director turned to him again and pulled back the hood. "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. And sometimes, stranger. Heheh."

Vice Grip could only stare at the white-haired... thing as it chuckled. "Wha... what are you?"

"I'm like you, Vice; I'm whatever I want to be," he stepped closer to him, something glinting in his eyes. "I'm a brony."

The Spritebot fluttered and jittered as the controls for it shook violently. Something was happening in the command center at Stable 5 for it to be acting so erratically, but Dan still didn't even know it was there. Still, the machine conveyed the scuffle that was going on at its control suite in Vice's office until something hit the off switch and the spritebot deactivated. It hit the ground like a stone, finally giving away its presence.

Dan looked over his shoulder after hearing the noise. It's the forest; there are going to be random noises, oddly... mechanical-sounding, Fallout 3 SFX-style noises that seemingly come from nowhere. Those things happened. He went back to playing Fighting is Mobile, the portable Fighting is Magic on his cell phone, unaware that he was no longer being watched. By a robot, anyway.

Lightning Claw was a fast Pegasus even before his accident but after his experiment, he could nearly go supersonic. It hadn't taken him long after he'd had a private chat with the Director before he'd reached Dan's location. He soared over the Everfree, finally reaching the human's position.

There were a few ways Lightning Claw could get the drop on Dan. He could tell the human was on his cell phone and clearly not paying attention to his surroundings. Not a clever thing to do in the forest. Lightning could easily take out the biped from the back, knock him out and drag him back to Stable 5. Which is what Vice Grip would want... but not the Director.

Dan looked up from his game every now and then to check his surroundings. Despite his appearance, he was still alert in case Flim and Flam got the drop on him. The second time he looked up though, he saw that he wasn't alone in the clearing. A stallion had apparently landed in front of him without him noticing, a strange indigo pony with pink markings like paint on his hooves, face and body. Obviously, some kind of sports fan, Dan thought.

"Hello, Dan," Lightning Claw greeted him.

A sports fan that somehow knew his name. "Hello," Dan put away his phone. "Who are you?" he asked, skeptical of the stranger.

The stranger smiled. "My name is Lightning Claw."

"How do you know my name?" Dan stood. Something about this pony seemed off like the horn on his head being broken. An alicorn with a broken horn? That could happen? Maybe he shouldn't have been so hard on Twilight for not teleporting...

"I know a lot about you, Dan. You're from Northern California, you currently live in Twilight's library and just recently you were appointed as the first captain of the Harmony Guard, Princess Twilight Sparkle's own security force. Heh, like she needed one."

"And what's it to you?" Dan demanded. The hostility between them could be felt in the air. "You've been spying on me?! Spying on my friends?!!"

"Not me," Claw said, still grinning. "Mutual friends, you could say. Friends that are very interested in you and the future of Equestria."

"You can tell your friends if they want something, they know where to find me," Dan dared.

"You can tell them yourself," Claw stepped forward. "You're coming with me."

Dan's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "You don't want to screw with me, pal; I'll nail you to a tree."

Lightning Claw's wings crackled with electricity. He spread them wide as energy surged throughout his feathers. Bands of radiating lightning climbed his legs, pulsing around his hooves. "I don't think you want to try taking me down, Dan. You might find the results... shocking."

Before Dan could say anything back, Lightning Claw's wings exploded in a flash of light. Dan was blinded, but before he could even raise his arm to cover his eyes, Claw was on top of him. The stallion smacked him in the face with an electrically-charged hoof. It cracked like lightning against Dan's jaw, knocking him back. Before Dan could recover, Claw delivered a surging jab to his stomach, then spun around and bucked him with his back legs. Dan went flying between a pair of trees.

"Well, that was easy," Lightning Claw remarked, panting slightly. Such a display of his magic, even a quick one, left him a bit drained but he would regain energy quickly. He walked over to where his quarry had been flung.

Claw approached the pair of trees. "You weren't so tough. Hard to believe you actually took out Magic Gear RO-"

Dan's hand reached out from the underbrush to choke Claw. Before the stallion could react, Dan was lifting him off his hooves, crushing his windpipe. His front hooves grabbed for the fingers wrapped tightly around his neck as they squeezed, his legs and tail dangling as Dan hoisted him off the ground.

The young man himself was smiling. Face reddened and bruised, skin charred, Dan also breathed heavily as he lifted the stranger in front of him. Pulling Claw closer, Dan balled his right fist and punched the indigo Pegasus in the face and used the momentum to pin him to the tree next to him.

Lightning Claw tasted blood. Shocked, he could only stare as he felt his back pressed up against the back behind him. "Now, like I just told you," Dan cocked his right arm. "Nail you to a tree."

Instinctively, Claw wrapped his wings around the tree and unleashed his electricity. Blue sparks climbed the length of the tree and ignited the leaves, turning the tree into a torch. Dan released Lighting Claw before the tree exploded into cinders, bits of burnt wood flew everywhere.

Released, Lightning Claw rubbed his hooves together to generate a little static friction and regain his electricity. Sparks flew off his hooves as he looked around. He spotted Dan getting up just a few meters away. "Not bad..." he panted. "You sure can take a hit or two."

"Actually," Dan wiped the dirt off his face, "I'm pretty resistant to electricity after getting zapped so many times."

Claw's eyes went wide. "Oh..." he dropped his hooves.

Smiling, Dan advanced on him. "Guess your friends forgot to mention that."

Thinking fast, Lightning Claw clapped his wings together and emitted a bright flash. Dan covered his eyes and braced for an attack but none came. He looked around, scanning for his opponent but the Pegasus had vanished.

A hum filled the air and without warning, a giant lightning bolt struck a tree nearby Dan. Like the other, it was instantly destroyed, turned into burnt sticks in a flash. Dan looked up to see Lightning Claw had taken to the sky.

Lightning Claw was smart. Clearly, the human had experience in close range combat but he didn't have wings. He decided to keep the fight at a distance by taking to the air and keeping away from the trees in case Dan tried to climb to his height. Rubbing his hooves and spinning his tail, he channeled more electricity from the atmosphere into a lightning bolt and unleashed it from his broken horn. It wasn't as accurate as it would've been if he had total control of his magic but he didn't need to be accurate to fry Dan to a crisp.

The bolt struck another tree next to Dan. Heart racing, Dan turned and bolted himself before another ray zapped a bush nearby. But Lightning Claw had him zeroed in. He ran through the underbrush, now doing his best just to try to get away, hoping for something.

High above the forest, Lightning Claw was able to recharge himself with ions in the atmosphere. His magic replenished, he rained down destruction on trees, logs, bushes and anything else near Dan as the human raced through the jungle to avoid him. He would tire Dan out eventually.

Dan nearly tripped several times, running for his life. Electric resistance or not, a bolt of lightning was more than he could take at this point. He wasn't Derpy Hooves. He broke through vines, stumbled over roots and did everything he could just to keep running. There had to be a way out of this, something. He didn't look back; he just ran and tried to plan even as he fled.

Two bolts of lightning struck the trees ahead of him one after the other. Burning leaves peppered him and he was forced to change direction. He turned around and ran back for the clearing, nowhere else he could run.

Zeus? Odin? Amatures compared to the way Lightning Claw hurled lightning bolt after lightning bolt at the frightened human. This was pathetic. The biped ran like a scared animal, helpless before the awesome might of a single, slightly augmented Pegasus. He grinned. It was almost too fun to blast Dan.

Finally, Dan made it back to the clearing. He searched the ground, searched the sky, looked for anything that could help him. Dan's eyes caught Lightning Claw, grinning at him from high above, out of his reach.

"This has been fun, Dan," Claw yelled down to him, charging up another attack. "I hope Vice Grip doesn't mind if you're a bit blackened." He unleashed another bolt aimed directly at Dan.

Dan almost jumped behind the log before he saw something next to it. His cane, wrapped in metal. But metal conducted electricity, how would that help him? He didn't know what else to do; he lunged for it, grabbed it right off the ground and flung it into the air.

Lightning Claw watched his bolt arc towards the cane instead of its target. Dan had bought himself a few seconds, nothing more. He rubbed his hooves together again, readying another blast. Lightning might as well have been in a weather armory.

Dan ran for the cane, his only defense. Maybe if he kept tossing it through the air... or even tossed it back at Lightning, he could knock him out somehow? He was still alive so he had to keep trying something. Dan reached down to pick up the cane when he saw the horseshoes on the handle glowing. They were Granny Smith's horseshoes. Somehow, they had absorbed the lightning.

He picked up the cane, looking at the glowing handle. Gripping the handle, he hit the extension button and it unleashed a concentrated bolt of electricity from the end. The lightning beam blasted a hole through a rock nearby, causing it to explode and crumble. Dan smiled again.

Lightning Claw's jaw dropped. He stopped charging his hooves, stunned. Had that cane been a laser this whole time?

"We've tested my resistance to electricity," Dan aimed the cane like a rifle at the Pegasus. "Let's see how you hold up."

There was nowhere for him to take cover. Lightning Claw watched as the cane turned red and aimed right at him. "I, maybe..."

"I have a forecast for you, Mr. Lightning," Dan closed one eye. "You're in for a 100% chance of pain."

"DAN!"

The shout startled Dan just enough that it through off his aim by a degree. A concentrated blast of electricity flew right past Claw, only singing the edges of his feathers and mane.

Dan turned around to see Apple Bloom and Flim and Flam running up the path at him. "What the hay are you doing, Dan?" the filly asked him.

"Apple Bloom! You're just in time!" Dan ran over to her. "That Pegasus up there is trying to kidnap me!"

"Kidnap you?" Apple Bloom asked. "What Pegasus?"

Dan turned back to the sky. Lightning Claw was gone. Around him, burnt trees, rocks, bushes and a trail of ash and destruction lead from the clearing deeper into the forest. He looked at the cane on the ground... and then back to Apple Bloom.

"This isn't what it looks like," Dan said, already defensive. "I'm telling you, there was a Pegasus here trying to kill me! He wanted to abduct me, take me to this stable or something, honest!"

Apple Bloom wasn't exactly convinced. "And where did all these fires come from?"

"He had lightning! He was hurling lightning bolts at me and they torched the trees! I ran for my life and then I remembered my cane back here so I ran to grab it!"

"A Pegasus throwing lightning?" Flam asked.

"But there aren't any clouds in the sky," Flim pointed out.

Dan looked back up. As they said, there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Pegasi could spawn lightning bolts but they did that from clouds... and there were none above them. So how had that Pegasus caused all this?

"Wait, the cane!" Dan ran and picked up his weapon. "I used this to beat him! I caught his lightning with this and flung it back at him!"

Apple Bloom walked over and examined the walking stick. "Are those Granny Smith's horseshoes?"

"Yes!" Dan said. "They absorbed the lightning somehow and I was able to shoot it back at him! Nearly got him, too if you hadn't thrown off my aim at the last second."

"Uh huh," the filly tapped the shoes. "Well, Granny Smith's horseshoes are resistant to electricity. She has 'em specially made to harvest zap apples. But I'm not sure about them shooting lightning or anything."

"Here, let me show you," Dan aimed the cane. "All right... here it goes!" he hit the button. Nothing happened. "But... but they were charged just a minute ago!"

Apple Bloom put a hoof on the cane, encouraging him to lower it. "Look Dan, I'm not sayin' that what you're sayin' didn't happen but..."

"The Everfree Forest is a dangerous place, my boy," Flam slapped Dan on the back.

"It's not a place for sport hunting alone, that's for sure," Flim added.

"But I'm telling the truth..." Dan pouted. "How else would all these trees have gotten burnt?"

Apple Bloom turned back to him. "How much dynamite do you have leftover?"

"I..."

"And does Granny Smith know you took her cane?"

"Well, I-"

"And her shoes?"

Dan balled his fists. "ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA GO FIND THAT PEGASUS! I'LL GET HIM TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING TO YOU SKEPTICS! I DON'T CARE IF TAKES ALL NIGHT!" he stormed off.

"Wait Dan," Apple Bloom stopped him. "We still have to do something about these fires."

Flim had a hoof to his chin. "You know what, don't worry about it."

Both Dan and Apple Bloom turned to the unicorns. "What?"

"Don't worry about some random Pegasus or whatever happened here. We'll take care of it," Flam said.

"But what about him trying to kidnap me? And blowing up everything? And-"

Flim stopped Dan. "Look, the Everfree Forest is a dangerous place. Things happen! It was probably all a misunderstanding. I think we've all had a few of those in the past few hours, haven't we?"

Dan folded his arms. They were right, unfortunately.

"It was probably just some disgruntled chap who got lost in the jungle," Flam added. "We'll take care of cleaning up the trail with our Flim Flam Gear. You two head home and we won't worry about any of this mess any longer."

"But wait," Dan stopped him, "what's the deal with you selling Magic Gear?"

"Flim Flam Gear," Flam corrected him.

"Whatever."

"Whatever do you mean, what is our deal?" Flim asked.

Dan approached the pair. "It's a giant robot. That nearly nuked Ponyville and nearly destroyed Equestria. And you're just going to let anypony have them for free?"

The two brothers glanced at each other. "Of course not!"

Apple Bloom and Dan's expressions turned to that of surprise. "You're not?"

"Why no, they're two-hundred bits a month to rent!" Flam chuckled.

The filly and human frowned. "All right... all right," Dan said with a sigh, "but what's your angle? How are you both scamming ponies this time? Are they going to go on a rampage and destroy things, self-destruct after a single use, how are you making money?"

"Ah, well, since you asked," the brothers held each other tightly. "We're planning on releasing software updates in the coming years!"

Dan facepalmed. "I should've known..."

"Yes, new upgrades that all the ponies will want to buy to customize and complete their very own unique Flim Flam Gears!"

"Uh huh," Dan thought, "But what's stopping me from telling everypony, including Applejack, who everypony KNOWS is the most honest mare in Equestria and letting your customers know what you're planning on doing?"

"When they do that, it's likely they'll cancel all those subscriptions... even the free trials," Apple Bloom added with a giggle.

The brothers looked at each other again, this time glum. "Tell you what, Dan, how about we clean up this mess for you and forget this ever happened?"

"When Twilight's free trial is over, you don't come bothering us again with some random sale. If Twilight wants to renew, she comes to you, got it?" Dan asked.

Flim and Flam nodded. "It's a deal."

The three ponies and one human shook hooves and hand and departed. With Flim Flam Gear's various attachments and reconstruction tools and fluids, the fires were extinguished and the debris cleared. Dan and Apple Bloom continued walking back to Ponyville as the sun set.

"Well, I was right," Dan declared. "Those two were trying to scam everypony..."

"Indeed ya did," Apple Bloom remarked.

"I know, I was there," Dan smiled to himself.

"Yeah... and yet your friends and Granny Smith still have giant robots parked outside their houses."

Dan's smile turned into a frown. Despite finally uncovering Flim and Flam's plans, it didn't change the fact his friends had fallen for it. They were still subscribed to one week of free Flim Flam Gear... whatever that meant. Apple Bloom had managed to put things into perspective for him.

"But I was right..." Dan said to himself. "I knew they were trying to screw us over and they were. I knew better but none of them listened to me."

"I know how that is," Apple Bloom said. "I'm young. Sometimes, even when I do know better than the adults, they don't listen and keep going on, doing what they're doing. It's tough."

"I could say the same thing," Dan remarked, achingly frustrated. "How can you convince someone when you know better?"

The filly shrugged. "Ya can't always convince 'em. Sometimes, ya just gotta hope for the best and prepare for the worst. And be supportive, that helps, too."

"I guess so," Dan replied to the wise pony.

The two of them finally arrived back in Ponyville, back to the Golden Oaks library to see Twilight, Chrys, Fluffle and the others, even Applejack and Granny Smith. As Dan and Apple Bloom approached, the group descended from the Flim Flam Gear to see them.

"Dan!" Twilight shouted, galloping towards him.

"It's good to see you back, Dan!" Chrys said, both mares tackling and hugging him. He hugged them both back as Fluffle Puff came up to give him a tongue bath.

"Hey guys, yes, we're back," Dan said to the group. Apple Bloom ran up to hug her sister and grandmother, them happy to be together as well.

"I'm... sorry about what happened earlier, Dan," Twilight said.

"We kind of got worried about you, all of us," Chrys said. "We were concerned that you were upset when you left."

"I was," Dan replied, happy. "But everything's fine now. How are the repairs on the library?"

"They're going great!" Chrys replied.

"Yeah," Twilight agreed, "thanks to Flim Flam Gear, we've actually had a lot of fun rebuilding the structure, reinforcing everything."

"And there haven't been any problems from the machine itself? No issues with the controls or evidence of Flim and Flam scamming us?"

"Nnnnope," Twilight answered. "I know what you're thinking Dan; it's Flim and Flam, it's some obvious, zany booby-trap or a way for them to sabotage us and we'll wind up-"

Dan held up a hand to stop her. "Twilight, it's okay. I'm not upset any more. I understand your decision and respect it even if I disagree with it," he informed her calmly.

Everypony, even Granny Smith who hadn't interacted much with Dan was surprised. "You're... you're not mad?" Twilight asked.

"No, no I'm not," Dan said.

She smiled. They all smiled. "Thank you... I appreciate that, Dan."

"Wow... what happened in that forest?" Chrys asked, astonished.

Dan looked over to Apple Bloom. The filly stared back at him wide-eyed. "You don't want to know," he said back to her. "Now, let's get started on the inside, shall we?"

"Yeah!" they all agreed and cheered. Surrounded by a crowd of ponies and one dragon, his best friends, Dan had the most content of expressions as he reached out to open the door to the Golden Oaks library. He grabbed the doorknob and pulled. It came off in his hand.

"What?" the group looked over his shoulder. The other end of the doorknob fell off inside. Suddenly, the entire library began to shake. The foundation rumbled, newly-laid boards snapped like twigs.

"RUN! RUN!" Dan shouted. The ponies and bipeds dashed for cover. The library teetered and fell, collapsing on the Flim Flam Gear nearby and destroying it.

"What?! No... no!!!" Twilight yelled.

"All that work..." Chrys sobbed.

"MY SHRINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Spike screamed.

Owlowicious took flight from the once-again wrecked library, dust and leaves finally setting as it rested. Twilight, mortified, watched in despair as their home once again was destroyed. "What... what happened? How did this happen?"

As if on cue, Fluffle Puff ran up to Dan with a piece of paper attached to her forehead. Dan removed it, flipped it right-side up and read it quickly. "Well, it looks like a piece of the instruction manual. Says here that only Flim Flam-approved materials can be used in reconstruction. All others degrade rapidly when used by Flim Flam Gear."

Blushing, Twilight realized immediately the mistake she'd made. Slowly, she turned to face Dan. "All right, Dan, I know what you're going to say, but all I wan-"

"Twilight," he held up a hand again. "I'm not going to say anything," he responded, perfectly calm.

Twilight shyly continued, skeptical and curious. "You're... you're not going to say I told you so?"

The young man scratched his chin, thinking for a moment. "Nah. We've got work to do," he said, walking to the house as the others began once again clearing the refuse. "But one thing, Twilight."

"Yes, Dan?" Twilight turned to him again.

"Next time you're thinking of buying something that might wreck the house, you consult me first," Dan decreed.

Twilight smiled as she and the others got back to work. "It's a deal."

After helping Dan and the others clean up Twilight's house, Apple Bloom joined Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo at Sugar Cube Corner.

"Cutie Mark Crusaders brownies yay!" the three fillies shouted triumphantly. Using a pair of heat-resistant pads, Sweetie and Scootaloo removed a large tray of treats from the oven.

Apple Bloom took a large whiff of the confections. "Mmmm, they smell delicious, girls!"

"I can't wait to try one!" Scootaloo remarked.

"Let's go help the others while we wait for them to cool off!" Sweetie Belle suggested.

"Good idea!" the others agreed. Together, the three fillies exited the kitchen, leaving a hot stove and brownies behind.

"Woah, hold on there!" a stallion stopped them.

"Huh?" the three turned to see Pony Joe entering the kitchen from the other side. "Hey Pony Joe, what's up?" Scootaloo asked.

"I'll tell ya what's up," Joe replied, "and that's the temperature on this oven. It's still hot! And it's still on!"

The three ponies gasped. "We forgot to turn the oven off!"

"That's right," Pony Joe said. He walked over and carefully turned down the knobs on the stove, switching them off. "Before you're done cooking, you should always make sure you've turned everything off. Otherwise, you might wind up cooking something you didn't want to!"

The three girls entered the kitchen again. "Thanks Pony Joe. Now we know."

Pony Joe chuckled. "And knowing is half the batter!"

Everfree Forest, Public Camp Site B

Flim set up the holoprojector, making sure all the attachments were plugged in and then switched it on. After a few moments, the image of Vice Grip appeared as it had before.

"Status report?"

"We've finished with the deliveries, Mr. Vice Grip," Flam said, removing his hat.

Flim did the same. "The last one's been loaded onto a train and is en route to its destination.'

Vice smiled. "Good, good! Gentlecolts, I'm very happy with you. Thanks to you both, Equestria is well on its way to being a better place."

The two brothers smiled, happy to have done their part.

"That's right, both of you will be able to head over to your assigned Stable shortly," Vice continued. His image fluttered as he manipulated the controls on his terminal in Stable 5. "We're just about ready to start phase 2."

"Thank you, Mr. Vice Grip!" Flam said.

"It's really remarkable, boys," Vice said to them. "How exactly were you able to convince fifty different settlements to buy Magic Gear?"

"Nothing short of our marketing genius," Flim explained. "We're allowing our customers a free week's trial of Flim Flam Gear before they decide to buy."

"Also," Flam began, "we did have to make a few modifications, mostly minor things."

The image of Vice Grip frowned. Slowly, he turned to both of them. "Modifications?"

"Customizations," Flim clarified. "To ensure that each settlement accepted our offer, we had to customize each one to suit the individuals' needs."

"Always know who you're selling to," Flam added.

Vice pinched his temple. "What kind of modifications?"

Flam stepped forward. "Well, for starters, we had to cut down the cost on manufacturing each one. So we used our own supplies rather than what you delivered."

"But not to worry. We were able to make sure each one can do its job and now it's tailor-made for each individual pony who purchases one," Flim added.

Back at Stable 5, Vice Grip keyed in different commands to his console. He tried to access the Magic Gear network but the terminal kept saying that no such network existed. Instead, there was something called the Flim Flam Network. Out of curiosity, he clicked it. Instantly, his monitor was filled with pop-up ads. He turned back to the holoprojector transmitter and looked at both of the brothers.

"Do you... have ANY idea what you've both done?"

"Yes!" Flam said. "We've made a lot of money."

"And we've saved a lot by using our own materials rather than yours. Your own supplies, we happily sold to various junk dealers. We knew you wouldn't mind as long as the job was done," Flim said.

Vice felt his blood boiling. "You... YOU IDIOTS! YOU INCOMPETENT CARNIE IDIOTS!" he screamed at the image, slamming his gauntlets on the monitor.

Flim and Flam held each other, frightened. "I... uh, I take it you're not happy?"

"You... you morons have ruined EVERYTHING! Without the Magic Gear Network... without the PROPER MATERIALS, MAGIC GEAR WON'T FUNCTION! THEY'RE USELESS! YOU GOAT-DAMNED FOOLS!"

"So... umm... when do you think we can move into our Stable?" Flam asked.

Vice laughed, then immediately went back to anger. "Oh, I'll send somepony to take care of that very, VERY soon."

"I'm sorry, what's that?" Flam asked.

"I'm afraid you're breaking up, Mr. Vice, but it's been a pleasure working for you!"

The two brothers used their magic to tamper with the holoprojector, making it go out of focus.

"This-n't -er. I'-" the image of Vice flickered.

"I'm afraid we'll have to decline that offer, Mr. Grip but it's been a profitable venture!"

"We'll see you!" Flam cut the monitor's power and it turned off.

Vice watched as the image turned off, cut from the source. He balled his metal fingers into two fists and slammed them on his desk. Then suddenly, he raised them again and shouted, "FLIM FLAM BROTHERS!!!"

In the other office, the Director giggled.

Flim and Flam spent a quiet moment contemplating what they'd just done. "Perhaps we... shouldn't have tried to screw over that one," Flim remarked.

"Perhaps indeed, brother," Flam agreed.

Flim turned to his brother, worried. "What should we do now?" Neither of them had the answer.

(Looks like karma's finally caught up to these two.)"I think you both might want to consider a different profession."

The two brothers turned to see a tall biped, another human walking towards them from the woods. "And who might you be?"

"I'm Phoenix Wright, a defense attorney," the man introduced himself.

"Defense attorney?" the pair asked.

"Yes and I've been keeping track of the current products you two have been selling," he explained. "They've been causing a lot of accidents, not to mention the safety violations and lack of insurance."

Flim and Flam started sweating. In their haste, they hadn't exactly inspected their modified Flim Flam Gears before selling them. A massive oversight.

"And... umm... what are you going to do about that?" Flam asked.

"Well gentlecolts," Phoenix touched his chin, "it seems like you both could use some legal consultation, maybe even someone to represent you."

They nodded emphatically. "Yes, yes that would definitely help!"

(Of course it would.)"I know," Phoenix said. "but I don't normally handle personal injury, destruction of property or false advertising cases. However, I'd be happy to provide consultation if you both do something for me."

"And what would that be?" Flam asked.

"Your employer gave you the original schematics to his inventions, the Magic Gears. I'd like a copy of the unmodified design as well as anything relating to F.I.S.T," Phoenix said.

The two brothers took only a split second to consider it. "It's a deal, Mr. Phoenix."

(I think this might be the first legitimate business decision these two have ever made.)

Episode 8: Dan Vs. Derpy Hooves

"Captain's log, Stardate 42117.8. The Enterprise has just finished its first sensor sweep of the Curso Nebula, what could become a new star in that system. While conducting the sweep though, it seems we've come across a strange transmission of unknown origin."

"Here it is again!" Chief Engineer Geordi La Forge announced, his voice a mixture of concern, curiosity and excitement. "This is the same one we picked up before but I can't identify the source."

Captain Jean-luc Picard, Commander Will Riker and Lieutenant Worf didn't have to be told twice. They made their way over from their respective stations on the bridge of the Enterprise-D to the console the engineer was hovering over, eager to learn of his findings.

"Is it some kind of distress signal? An emergency beacon caught in the nebula?" Riker asked, always concerned for the safety of others first.

"No, it doesn't seem to be. Even if it was, there's not a base or a starship out there or the sensors would've identified it," Geordi answered.

"Perhaps there's a malfunction with the sensor array," Captain Picard suggested, trying to provide a solution to their current puzzle. "Did you try recalibrating the scanners?"

"I did," Geordi said, switching to another console on the bridge. He keyed in a few commands on the display to double-check his findings. "It's not just the sensors picking this up, captain. It's every system on the ship."

"And you're sure it's not a distress signal of some kind?" Riker asked again.

The engineer folded his arms, thinking. "I'm positive. The funny thing is, the transmission is ongoing. It doesn't repeat so it's a continuous broadcast."

Lt. Worf shifted uncomfortably. Being a Klingon and a Starfleet member, he preferred to tackle problems head-on, using his analytical mind to assess threats and puzzles like foes on the battlefield. "Why would someone broadcast a message into space non-stop? It practically invites any ship to investigate it. This could be a trap, some kind of sabotage."

"Maybe they just like the attention," Riker commented.

"I don't think it's anything sinister," Geordi said, returning to his readout of the transmission. "If anything, it looks to be just a standard broadcast but all of our systems are picking it up."

"Can we isolate the signal?" Picard asked.

"Actually..." the engineer typed in a few commands on the console. "...yes we can."

"Put it on screen," the captain instructed.

An image appeared on the front viewscreen of the bridge, the sensors taking a moment to relay the broadcast. As the transmission played, the crew returned to their respective positions to watch.

"Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship?" Riker asked, perplexed. "What kind of a broadcast is this?"

"I think it's an entertainment program, like an adventure-comedy series," Geordi said, gesturing at the screen. While most of the characters appeared to be colorful, talking ponies and other creatures, for some reason, a pale, dark-haired humanoid seemed to be living among them for the sole purpose of becoming frustrated and taking his anger out on the populace. And then learning lessons about it.

"Heh," the commander chuckled. "Someone's devoting all this energy just to broadcast a comedy show? Seems like a complete waste of time."

"How obnoxious," Lt. Worf remarked. "Transmitting a signal across the galaxy just to... just to..." the klingon's expression, while hard to read sometimes, changed as he watched the screen to that of confused amusement. "Why did he fall into that gel-substance a second time?"

"I think that was part of the comedy, Mr. Worf," Riker said.

The Klingon laughed heartily, continuing to watch.

The commander rolled his eyes. "I still think it's a huge waste of energy just to relay an entertainment program across the galaxy."

Picard sat in the captain's chair, leaning and rubbing his chin in contemplation. While the Enterprise did have a duty to Starfleet to defend the Federation, they were also explorers, researchers. And when new opportunities arose to learn and discover, no matter what source or where they came from, Picard knew they weren't to be missed out on.

"Perhaps, Number One," Picard smiled, "what we could all use right now is a little entertainment. Mr. La Forge," he turned to his chief engineer. "Can you track this transmission back to its source?"

It only took a moment for Geordi to check. "Looks like we'll be able to follow the transmission right back to its point of origin, Captain. I've got the course laid in."

"Chasing after rogue signals, captain?" Riker asked skeptically.

"Chasing after fun, Number One," Picard responded with an enthusiastic smile. "Make it so."

Ever since Dan had moved in with Twilight and the others, he had developed a bit of a morning routine. He would get up, sometimes fix breakfast or breakfast would be fixed, check the interior for signs of intruders, invasion or breached defenses and then proceed outside to perform a tactical assessment of the standing structure while retrieving the newspaper and any mail. It was a mental checklist he enjoyed going over everyday; preparing for annoyances and threats meant less time he'd have to deal with them in the future and less overall stress he'd be caused.

"Morning Dan!" Twilight called as she descended the stairs.

"Morning Twilight," Dan responded, busy examining the edges of one of the windows. "It's surprising how well everything in the library held together after falling over."

"Yeah, lucky for us," she agreed. "It's a pretty sturdy tree even if it has trouble staying planted."

"Well, we're going to make sure it stays planted this time," Dan said, satisfied with the windows.

Already awake, Spike walked over to Dan and Twilight from the living room. "Morning guys!"

"Morning," the two responded.

"I really like the modifications we made to the library," Spike announced.

The two turned to the small dragon. "Modifications?"

"Yeah, like all the crawlspaces. They're perfect for hiding stuff in."

As if to give the statement more of an impact, a random board creaked from the ceiling. The patter of hooves followed shortly after, seeming to come from everywhere at once. Twilight and Dan looked around, trying to determine the source of the disturbance as it came closer and closer. The echoes reverberated through the paneling.

"What's going on?!" asked Twilight. The panels vibrated, approaching her fast.

Dan remained still, his expression steadfast. "This can only mean one thing."

"What?!" Twilight asked again. Suddenly, a board in the wall bent back and a fluffy pink head poked through right in front of Twilight. Fluffle Puff performed her trademark gasp and then licked the purple alicorn's cheek. "I should've known. Just when I thought it was safe to go back in the living room."

A pair of boards shook on either side of Dan. Chrys' hooves shot out to hug Dan as her eyes appeared in a pair of knotholes above him. "Hi Dan!"

"Hi Chrys," he said, un-amused. "Having fun?"

"Yup!"

Dan's teeth began to grit. "You both realize you're compromising the integrity of the structure we just renovated, right?"

"Aww," Chrys' legs went slack. "But it's fun!"

"FUN?!" Dan spun around to face her. "FUN?! You think it's FUN to leave an opening so easily penetrated?! Practically BEGGING for someone like me to just barge in?!"

Chrys paused, her face a complete blank behind the wall. Redness began to fill her cheeks and her heart began to race. She stared at Dan and blinked. "Yes."

"Not happening," Dan replied sternly, oblivious as usual. "As soon as you two are done messing around in the crawlspace, I'm filling it up with cement. There's no security breaches on my watch."

"Dan," Twilight put a hoof on his back, "relax. They're just having a little fun."

"Relax?!" Dan shouted at the explanation. "That's what got us into this mess! At any moment, something could happen to the foundation and the house could come crumbling down agai-"

"Calm down, Dan," Twilight urged.

"All right, all right," he held up his arms defensively, realizing he wasn't going to win, as usual. "We could probably use it as extra ammunition storage anyway. I'm gonna do a perimeter check, then meet you guys inside for some breakfast," he said, walking to the door.

"Sure thing, we'll rendezvous in the kitchen in oh... five minutes," Spike said, pretending to check his watch.

"Don't encourage him," Twilight cautioned.

Chrys, still partially sticking out of the crawlspace, looked around. "Hey guys, where's Fluffle Puff?"

Spike and Twilight searched around. Once again, the large fluffy mare had managed to disappear. But they didn't have to look far for her.

"She's on the ceiling again," Spike pointed up.

The other two mares glanced upward to see Fluffle Puff's legs dangling from the floor above, helplessly but happily.

"How does she keep doing that?" Twilight asked, amazed and confused.

"I'll get the spatula," Chrys said.

Dan exited the house before the group pried Fluffle Puff off the ceiling yet again. Performing a thorough examination of the surrounding area was part of his job, so he felt. It wasn't just enough to keep out would-be thieves and intruders; living in a tree, he also did his best to make sure the structure remained weather resistant, free of pests and was clear of all debris. Honestly, he found it easier than maintaining a large house.

After a few minutes, he was satisfied. The work he, Spike and the ponies put in had paid off with grandeur. The Golden Oaks library never looked better and had even been modified at the base to accommodate a storage cellar underneath(formally the basement) and even another section to the archives themselves. Dan couldn't help but smile, admiring his own handiwork at reinforcing the trunk and adding positions for anti-aircraft and surface-to-whatever missile battery emplacements. The only thing left to attach were the weapons themselves.

Satisfied, Dan decided to check the mailbox, another new addition to the library as mail had previously been delivered directly to the door. He flipped open the metal hatch to check if something had been delivered and not to his surprise, something had. But when he retrieved the item delivered, he found there was much to be surprised about.

"What?" Dan asked the situation itself. "What the..."

What Dan pulled out happened to be... a muffin. A simple, fresh-baked muffin wrapped in thin plastic with a wax paper wrapper cupping the bottom.

"Is this a joke?!" Dan demanded. He looked around, trying to find out who could've been responsible. But the area around the Golden Oaks library was vacant this time of the morning. "WHY IS THERE A MUFFIN IN THE MAILBOX?!" Again, silence was his only answer.

Perplexed, Dan walked back into the house, muffin clutched in his upheld hand like a drink he was being careful not to spill. He entered the living room to see Twilight, Chrys and Spike trying to scrape Fluffle Puff off the roof with a spatula. Which he didn't find surprising at all.

"You guys aren't planning on cooking with that spatula after you're done with it are you?" he called to the others.

"Umm... " was there unanimous response. "How did everything go outside?" Twilight quickly changed the subject.

"Fine," Dan admitted, his voice still confused. "but... I think somepony's trying to poison us."

The three finally pried the attached mare off the ceiling. She collapsed down on the floor with an adorable squeak, her fluff absorbing the impact. Fluffle then proceeded to hug Dan as the others descended to the ground.

"What makes you say that?" Chrys asked.

"I found this muffin in the mailbox," he held it up for them. "This could be one of Flim and Flam's tricks again. Or it could be something else. I think we should have this analyzed."

"Oh," Twilight laughed. "That's just Derpy. She really loves muffins and does this now and then," the purple alicorn proceeded to unwrap the treat and take a bite.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Dan shouted in shock. "You don't know what that is!"

"Yes I do," replied Twilight, mouth full of muffin. "It's lemon surprise."

"LEMON SURPRISE?! LEMON SURPRISE?!!" Dan's anger boiled.

As the purple pony chewed, she stopped, detecting an oddity with her tongue. The others noticed her change in expression. "Mmm... hmmm.."

"What's wrong, Twilight?" Spike asked. Chrys and Fluffle Puff gathered around her, concerned.

"I KNEW IT!" Dan announced. "IT'S POISONED! Stand back!" he grabbed Twilight and proceeded to squeeze her by the barrel. "BREATH, DAMN IT! BREATH!"

"MM! Dan!" Twilight shook him off. "There's nothing wrong, calm down." She reached a hoof into her mouth and pulled out a white object. "I thought I tasted something funny."

"What is it?" Chrys asked.

"It's a letter!" Spike recognized.

Twilight immediately giggled at the realization. "Derpy baked the mail into a muffin!" Chrys, Spike and Fluffle laughed at the revelation.

"That is so Derpy!" Chrys remarked.

"Why are you laughing?!" Dan asked, shocked at his friends' behavior.

Twilight regained her composure. "Dan, Derpy Hooves is our mailmare. She makes most of the deliveries to the library and she does things like this from time to time. It's just for fun."

"FUN?!" Dan couldn't believe the explanation. "What if she does that to MY mail?! What if she tries to bake something important into a pie and it blows up?!"

"I don't think she would do that, Dan," Twilight responded.

"Yeah," Spike agreed. "Derpy only really does muffins. Pies and cakes are Pinkie Pie's thing."

"That's not the point!" the hominid continued to protest. "This is a violation of the postal service! It compromises the integrity of our main line of communication! IT'S A BREACH AMONGST THE SECURITY OF THE HOUSE!!"

"And it's part of a balanced breakfast," Spike added.

Dan's anger seethed inside him. "That's it! I'm going down to the post office to talk about our current courier's constant confection compulsion!" Once again, he headed to the door, this time storming out.

"Dan, wait!" Twilight called.

"Yes?" he turned to his purple caretaker.

"If you're going out, take Fluffle with you. She needs to get out more."

"Fine," Dan replied. "Where's the spatula?"

Spike turned away. "We were going to make some French toast with it..."

Dan simply looked at the purple dragon, disappointed. He then opened the door and left, Fluffle Puff bouncing behind him.

Unlike many other quirky ponies, Dan didn't find Fluffle Puff intolerably irritating. Most of the time. No, despite her incessant shenanigans, penchant for adhering to things and compulsive nature to tongue-bathe just about anything and everything, Dan found Fluffle Puff too... cute to be annoyed by. That, and she was the only thing in Equestria that reminded him of his closest companion on Earth, Mr. Mumbles.

How Fluffle Puff felt about Dan, however, was something stronger, something she didn't quite understand. Her curiosity got the better of her sometimes but she loved Dan and the others. They were her family and she knew they needed to stick together and support one another. Unlike Dan, though, Fluffle Puff's conviction was a certain thing. She would be silent until necessary, happily carrying the truth about why Dan was onboard that plane until the time was right. Her one and only secret she kept from Dan and the others.

If there was one thing Fluffle Puff admired about Dan, it was that he was at the very least, open and honest with them. If there was something he didn't agree with, if something disturbed him, if there was a problem, he made sure everypony knew about it. Very sure. And he always told the truth. Fluffle Puff regretted being unable to follow his example...

Which is why she stayed silent. For the most part. Determined to help her friend, the fluffy mare bounced up to Dan and marched alongside him. The two of them headed into town for the post office.

Dan's eyes were fixated forward in a preemptive glare. "All right, here's the plan: we get in there and we start cracking heads!"

"Pbbthpppd!" Fluffle nodded in agreement, her own eyes narrowing. They were both already fired up.

"No mercy, no escape, no prisoners!"

"Thhbbbbbbbd!"

"We find out who's tampering with the mail and give THEM a message to chew on!" Dan shouted.

"Rmmbddppth!" Fluffle Puff gave a final 'pbhhd' of determined affirmation. She was just as upset about this as Dan.

Hello, I'm Patrick Steedwart, a ponified version of stage and screen actor, Patrick Stewart. Today, I'll be playing the voice of Fluffle Puff's inner most thoughts and feelings as expressed through private dialogue. I hope you enjoy.

Actually, I'd like to interject right here if I may.

Wait a moment... uh, excuse me? Who are you?

I'm a ponified version of actor and narrator, Morgan Freeman. My name is Morgan Freemane and I believe I'll be providing the voice for Fluffle Puff's thoughts this episode.

There must be some sort of mistake. I was told by Mr. Barro that I was to do the narration for Fluffle Puff.

I believe there has been a mistake, Mr. Steedwart. It's not a problem, really. Clearly, somepony must've misread something in the script. I mean, this is a narration and this production really does require somepony more experienced in that area.

...Excuse me?

Well, no disrespect, Mr. Steedwart but I do believe I've been in a few more-

Uh, hey, can I say something here?

Who are you?

Yeah, hi, I'm Richard Dreyfuss.

You're a ponified version of Richard Dreyfuss?

No, I'm actually Richard Dreyfuss. How can you not remember me? We worked together in Red!

Uh, oh right, Richard Dreyfuss, yes.

Yes, I remember you! You were in Deep Blue Sea along with that fellow from the car chase movie.

No, *sigh*, you're thinking of Jaws. Look, we were all told we were supposed to have the same role so... why don't we just take share it?

What do you suggest we do?

Well, we could take turns. You go, then I go, then Morgan Freemane goes and we just do it that way. What do you say? Sound good?

...It was a pleasure seeing you again, Mr. Dryfuse.

Yes, I believe I'll be going as well. Best of luck, Richard. Hope to see you again in the next Sharknado.

I was in JAWS! *sighs heavily*

"Pbtth-thh!" Fluffle Puff added. A mare's mail is not something to mess with, not even if you're the mailmare. Delivering letters baked into muffins is one thing but not baking enough for everypony? Now that's just rude. Besides... I wanted a lemon-surprise muffin.

The post office was only a couple doors down from town hall, the buildings in the area serving as the center of local government, administration and community organization for Ponyville. Within the same block was the New-and-Old Neighbor Welcome and Re-welcome Center(the pony-equivalent of a Department of Immigration or foreign affairs office, frequented by Pinkie Pie), the Visit and Vacation Starting Place(offices of travel), the courthouse(unused since the Ace Swift murder trial three years ago) and the Carriage, Carrier and Contraption Contract Compliance and Cooperation Center(DMV).

A few ponies were already in the area as Dan approached, going about their daily lives. Pegasi delivered things two and from second-story windows, ponies tended to sweeping, cleaning and moving things about the area and generally busied themselves. Dan and Fluffle passed a park bench where another familiar duo sat and relaxed.

"Hi, Dan!" Lyra called out, waving to him.

Fluffle Puff waved back for both of them, her expression momentarily changed to glee before returning to narrow-eyed determination.

A longing look in her eyes, Lyra stretched out a hoof as she watched Dan pass. "Hands..."

"Don't," Bon-bon, sitting next to her lowered Lyra's hoof for her.

Lyra's head sulked for a moment before she returned to watching Dan and Fluffle Puff cross the street. Her own eyes narrowed just a tad and the faintest hint of a smile flashed across her muzzle. Bon-bon rolled her eyes; some things never changed.

"This is it, Mr. Fluffles," Dan said to his accomplice as they approached the small, blue building wedged between two others. "What should we do first? Make them decorate cakes with the oath to the postal service? Pack them in shipping crates and mail them to a bakery? Go to the supermarket, buy muffins and start chucking them until the whole place is covered n dough?'

"Thrbbppd," Force them to bake us muffins! And then sing us one of those singing telegrams! AND GET STAMPS WITH OUR FACES ON THEM! OOOH, YES!

Before either of them could execute their plans, a familiar purple pony appeared in front of them. "Hi guys!"

"Twilight, what are you doing here?" Dan demanded. "You're not going to try to talk me out of this, are you?"

"No, Dan," Twilight said, knowing how futile that notion was. "I'm just here because you decided to skip breakfast today." She turned around and pulled two lunchboxes out from her saddlebag and levitated them over to her. "We went ahead and packed you lunch!"

Fluffle Puff received a lunch box with a picture of Gabriel Iglesias on the front. She gasped enthusiastically, tucked it into her utility fluff and proceeded to hop around the background.

Dan accepted his own lunch box skeptically. "Thanks..." he said, examining it. Turning it over, he discovered the front sported a very familiar theme. "Ha!" Dan smiled widely, astonished. "Revenge of The Nerds? That's one of my favorite movies! Twilight, how did you know?"

Twilight grinned bashfully. "Well, you have mentioned it a few times. I just thought you'd like it." While the majority of humanity didn't know about their dimensional equine neighbors, many in Equestria's scientific and academic community were well aware of Earth's existence. The ponies had based some of their own technological innovations off of terran inspiration but things went deeper than that. Some cultural ideas had been 'borrowed' while others had simply existed from the start. The explanation for this wasn't always clear.

Equestria and Earth were parallel to each other. Despite their many differences, a lot of events, concepts, areas and even individuals mirrored each other across the vastness of time and space but not all of them. The two worlds were in many ways like sisters; connected in many ways yet separate, individual. Dan pretty much thought of Equestria as Earth only younger, innocent and pure. Something he felt the need to protect and guide, give them the second chance he never received. Give his friends, give Twilight the second chance she needs.

"I do," Dan answered. He suddenly found himself with more gratitude then he knew how to express. "Thank you..." he said.

"You're welcome," the purple princess replied. "I packed you both sandwiches: hay bacon, lettuce, tomato, peanut butter and jelly on white. With the crust cut off for Fluffle Puff. And there's also some green apple slices and juice for when you get thirsty."

Dan opened the container. As Twilight had described, a well-organized lunch had been arranged within. Each item was even packaged separately to prevent excessive moisture build up, a threat to all packed lunches as Dan was well aware. There was even a cupcake tucked in the corner in a separate compartment so it wouldn't get squished.

"What's all this for?" Dan asked, confused.

"For you to eat," Twilight answered with a chuckle. "Now, I want both of you to play nice with the other ponies. You can be report back to me later with the results of your investigation and don't stay out too late."

"Investigation?" Dan was even more puzzled than before. "Does that mean... are you actually approving of what I'm doing?"

"You're going to find out what's going on with the mail," Twilight explained. "Make sure that nopony gets hurt by these new procedures. You saw something you were concerned with and now you're going to inspect the source. It's kind of like your job."

"My... job..." Dan repeated. He stared off into the distance, thinking as he clutched his lunchbox. Yes, he was a captain of the guard. And he'd just been given permission to carry out an official investigation by a princess. Finally, things were starting to click into place. "Yes, that's right!" Dan declared, pocketing his container. "And I'm going to get to the bottom of this muffin madness before somepony bites off more than they can chew!"

"Good luck, Dan," Twilight wished him well. She knew there was nothing she could do to stop him but maybe if she supported him, he would realize he could learn something in the process. Not only that but she needed some time alone to research more about the spell that would return her to unicorn form. But Dan didn't need to know that. "I'll see you guys later!" she waved bye to the departing pair and disappeared in a flash of light.

Now, Dan felt empowered. Confidence flowed through him, a righteous certainty that bolstered every fiber of his being. He stormed right up to the front of the post office with Fluffle Puff close behind him. "This is it. Are you ready?" he asked the pink mare.

Fluffle Puff gave a single nod in response.

A glint of justice, or more likely, sociopathic rage burning in his eye, Dan gripped the handle of the post office door and pulled.

Slam! The door swung outward, smashing him against the wall like a mousetrap.

"I'll be back for the second batch in a few minutes!" Derpy called over her shoulder as she exited, quickly taking flight with a bag full of mail around her shoulders.

Dan, pancaked against the door and the side of the building when Derpy exited, peeled off the wall and collapsed on the ground in an excruciating heap. "Hrrr... urrrr...."

Fluffle Puff walked over to examine his twitching form. "Pbthhhbb?" Are you okay, Dan? Do you still want your lunch? "Thpppbbrrbbrr?" she prodded him. If you're not going to eat it, can I have it?

Lying on his back and dazed from pain, Dan watched as the mail mare flew away. "Come back, gray bird pony..." he said groggily.

Fluffle Puff splashed Dan with a bucket of water she got from literal convenience to this story.

Snapping back into full consciousness, Dan climbed to his feet and dried himself off. "Thank you. All right, let's go inside."

The enormous pink mare gasped, this time out of surprise rather than glee. She pulled at Dan's shoulders, trying to turn him around. Frantically, she pointed to Derpy buzzing about Ponyville on her mail route. What are you doing?! Stop! She's right behind us! That's the mare with the muffins flying down Drury Lane! I mean, Sugar Cube Corner! Dan!

But the biped was unaware of his friend's attempts at getting his attention. Opening the door a second time, he stepped inside. Sighing to herself, Fluffle Puff followed.

"All right!", Dan shouted his entrance upon ripping open the door, "Who's half-baked idea was it to put our mail in muffins?!"

Slowly, ponies in line turned their attention to the disgruntled biped fuming in the doorway. Mail clerks behind the front desk stopped what they were doing, a mustachioed Pegasus carrying a mailbag halted and hovered to see what the commotion was about.

"I SAID," Dan's voice boomed, "WHO PUT OUR MAIL INTO THE MUFFIN?" He didn't care about the quizzical looks; Dan was on a mission fully supported and authorized by Princess Twilight Sparkle.

But he didn't have to do more. A friendly green mare near the back of the line walked over to him. "Somepony baked your mail into a muffin?" she asked.

"YES!" Dan declared in a shout. "This is a clear violation of... uh, of..." Actually, Dan didn't know anything about postal service rules and regulations, on Equestria or otherwise. But he did know it wasn't exactly right to open your mailbox and find your letter pastries instead of postage. "... of our... personal property!"

"Oh, heheh," the mare chuckled. "That's just Derpy Hooves. She's quirky like that now and then."

"Quirky?! QUIRKY?!" Dan repeated in disbelief. Once again, it didn't seem ponies understood the full ramifications of a process they simply went along with. But when they relied on two sisters to raise and lower the sun and the moon, it didn't seem that big of a deal to just go with a lot of things, not that Dan cared. "What she's doing is DANGEROUS! What if she baked something important into a cake and the message became illegible as a result?!"

The mare shrugged. "She'd probably make sure to put it in afterward. Or leave it as the card attached."

Dan smacked himself in the forehead. Slowly, he wiped his face clean of disbelief, of awe. How could he possibly get through to these ponies? "Okay," he began again, "what if somepony opened up their mailbox-"

"Uh huh..." the mare nodded, following along.

"And they reach inside to discover a delicious slice of peace cobbler instead of an important package they were expecting." He pantomimed the action of opening a mailbox to help illustrate. "And without thinking, they eat the whole thing and don't realize they just swallowed-"

The mare raised her hoof. "Does it have to be peach cobbler?"

"No, what?" Dan stopped. "I'm just using that as an example; it really doesn't-"

"Can the example be apple pie?" she asked.

Dan pinched his brow. "It doesn't matter what it is..."

"I've actually had a lot of apple pie lately," another pony in line commented. "Can it be blueberry instead? Or cherry?"

"But I'm allergic to cherry," the mustachioed Pegasus commented.

"I'm trying to make a point here!" Dan raised his voice. "It could be ANY kind of pie but-"

"Does it have to be pie?"

"Oh, who asked you, Howard?"

"HEY!" Howard shouted back. "I have the same rights to voice my preferences as you do and I'm gonna-"

And so, the squabbling commenced. The line quickly became a crowd around Dan. He opened his mouth to try to shout over the ponies but quickly found himself overwhelmed and fighting for space in the small post office. Looking around, he also realized Fluffle Puff was no longer beside him.

"Wait, Fluffle Puff?!" Dan looked around. A bright, pink ball of fur, he found it hard to believe how often he and others lost track of her so easily all the time. "Fluffle Puff!"

The large pillow mare was conducting an investigation of her own. Over by the postage supplies, Fluffle was busy determining the taste and texture of each stamp. Finishing off a roll of pie-themed stamps, she tossed the remainder of them over her shoulder before reaching for another one.

"Fluffle Puff! What are you doing?" Dan shouted, spotting her.

"Blrbbbbth," Fluffle recoiled at the taste of another stamp. Okay, this is ridiculous. The cupcake ones don't taste like cupcakes, the orange ones don't taste like oranges, the banana cream pie ones don't taste ANYTHING like bananas, cream, pies, or ANY combination of the three. And yet, somehow the Hot Pocket ones do actually taste like Hot Pockets. What a ripoff.

Shoving his way out of the crowd, Dan made his way over to his puffy companion. All around her were used stamps, rolls covered in saliva and half-chewed envelopes. He stepped over and on a few of the ruined, discarded items. "Having some free samples, are we?"

The stamp-covered fluffy mair turned to him and said, with wide, sparkly, cute eyes, "Meep." You made me skip breakfast and I didn't want to eat lunch early. Also, none of this stuff takes like it's supposed to.

Dan took stock of Fluffle Puff's 'snacks' and let out an agitated sigh/groan. "If we have to pay for any of this stuff, I'm mailing you to a place you won't come back from."

"Pthhhp." Mail me to an amusement park. Or a waterpark. Wait... a waterpark IN an amusement park! NO! I've got it! An amusement park UNDERWATER! Yes! In space! And with a cake factory! And a chocolate-

Dan grabbed her by a stamp on the ear and dragged her away from the sales rack.

Hey! Ow, ow, wait! I haven't tried the strawberry ones yet!

"Let's get going before somepony mistakes you for packing peanuts," Dan said. With the crowd still arguing over deserts, there was no line at the counter any longer. Dan pulled Fluffle Puff with him all the way up to the service desk where an attendant waited. Although Dan hadn't noticed yet, said attendant wore an unamused expression that seemed to continue to lose amusement as the pair approached.

Dan released Fluffle Puff as he got to the counter, the large mare flopping to the floor like a beanbag chair made of hair. "Who do I talk to about your mail carriers?"

The attendant, a dark-brown stallion, blinked. "What is your question, sir?"

Dan shut his eyes hard and then opened them. "I just ASKED my question! WHO DO I TALK TO ABOUT YOUR MAIL CARRIERS?!"

The attendant closed his eyes for the duration of Dan's shouting. "What question is it you would LIKE TO ASK about our mail carriers, sir?" he clarified, his voice doing nothing to hide his irritation.

"I'd like to ask how your postal service is going to work after I've baked every last one of you into a pie!! I found a muffin in my mailbox and I want-"

"Derpy Hooves," the clerk said, cutting off Dan in the same tone as before.

"What was that?" Dan asked.

The attendant sighed. "Derpy Hooves, she does that."

"Does what?"

"She bakes muffins for ponies on her route."

Dan leaned over the counter. "Does she usually bake the MAIL into these muffins?!"

The stallion shrugged. "I don't know. You'd have to ask her."

"I DON'T WANT MY MAIL BAKED INTO MUFFINS!!" Dan shouted, not quite loud enough for the bold-italicized text I'm fond of for demonstrating Dan's vocal rage but pretty close.

"Oh," the apathetic attendant said, as if suddenly realizing something. "So, you're making a complaint?"

"YES! And I'm no-"

"You're going to have to speak to the help desk, it's over by deliveries," the stallion pointed him around the corner.

Dan looked to his left, past the ruined display to another area of the post office. "I thought I was in the line for the help desk!" he protested.

"No, this is the general information desk. You want general assistance over by deliveries receiving," he pointed again. "You're in the wrong line."

"Ngrrrrrrrrrrr..." Seething, Dan picked up Fluffle Puff again, this time by her side fluff and dragged her with him across the office. On the way, they passed the sales rack Fluffle Puff had used as a buffet. Or rather, they plowed through it, pushing through the items scattered on the floor. Fluffle somehow was cleared of all stamps by this action through the magic of cartoon scene transitioning. Cartoons: ignoring jump cuts since 1933.

Unlike the last attendant, the clerk at the desk next to the outgoing packages area had his back turned to them. He seemed to be occupied with a box at the foot of the shelves on the opposite side of the desk.

"Hello?" Dan announced his arrival. A second went by and the attendant didn't answer. "HELLO?! Are you going to answer me or not?!"

"I don't know!" the new clerk, a red donkey responded before turning to face him. "Is a brother even going to have TIME to answer his royal impatience?!"

"...wut?" Fluffle asked, dumbstruck.

"OH," the donkey exclaimed, throwing his hooves up, "I see how it is! You're too GOOD to wait for the black man to answer! You don't have any TIME for the black donkey! Black man can't even get a part in your My Little Pony crossover story! I see how it is! This is a messed-up world we're livin' in!"

"Wut..." Dan echoed at first. He shook his head, trying to process what this literal jackass just said. "But wait, we had Samule L. Jackson in the story. And Morgan Freeman was just in the last chapter!"

"OH," the donkey continued, almost ignoring the previous points, "so it's only the GOOD black actors you're allowing in this story. You're not willing to give any other proud, upstanding black man a start in fan fiction; it's just the GOOD ones you're interested in! What about Sinbad?!"

Dan was at a loss for words. "And... you are?"

"I'm Sendback!" the donkey replied angrily. "I'm actually a hardworking citizen, trying to be an upstanding member of my community, thank you very much."

"And this has WHAT to do with me being impatient with you?!"

Sendback practically reached out to prod Dan. "There's not a chance you'd be doing this to some white pony, some happy little blonde-maned, blue-eyed WHITE mare to answer all your questions with a happy, dimpled smile." The donkey brought his hooves together. "Oh, thank you so much for helping me, Mr. white man! You've been oh-so helpful, Mr. white man! You people make me sick!!"

"Ha," Dan actually got a chuckle out of the donkey's racist remarks. It lasted a moment before it was replaced by rage. He reached out and grabbed Sendback by the throat. "Listen, 'Mr. Upstanding Citizen.' I WOULD BE IMPATIENT WITH YOU CLOWNS IF I HAD TO COLOR YOU IN FIRST!!"

Sendback clutched Dan's hands, terrified. This was clearly the wrong time to play the race card.

Dan looked him in the eyes. "You're going to tell me where I can find the mare that baked my mail into a muffin. Now."

As fortune would have it, Sendback looked over Dan and saw something that was incredibly convenient. Clutching with his left hoof, he pointed with his right to the door. "The...there..."

"I'm back everypony!" Derpy announced her arrival as she burst through the door. The crowd, still squabbling, was but a dull background noise against the gray pegasus' cheery voice.

Dan looked over his shoulder to confirm it was her. He then turned back to Sendback and smiled. "Thank you." In a single motion, his grip released and the red donkey dropped to the floor. Dan turned around and was already heading in Derpy's direction.

"My... ugh, pleasure," Sendback said, climbing the counter to help himself stand again. He rubbed his throat as he got up and noticed the pink fluffy pony had something for him. He picked up a small card. "What is this?"

"Thbbb thbb thhbbbmmmthbbbrrbbmmthhhuth." Mail me to an amusement park.

It wasn't often Twilight had the living room all to herself but with Dan and Fluffle Puff out and Spike and Chrys upstairs playing Destiny on Xbox One, she decided a little extra space might benefit her reading. Besides, it's not likely she would have it for very long.

She was reading more about the spell that would return her to unicorn form. It was one of the oldest spells she'd ever encountered and odd magic at that. The spell in question didn't actually transform her back into something she was, more so it simply separated her from the magic that made her an alicorn. It was clear though that this would have the desired effect, just that it was a bit more complicated than even age magic.

Her suspicions had been correct: the book that contained the spell to change her back to a unicorn was the same one that had been tossed at her by a stranger that day Dan was made bald by Trixie. She'd nearly lost it with all the havoc done to the library recently but now, she was beginning to think that all these things might not be a coincidence. Which is another reason she sent Dan and Fluffle out of the house.

Twilight brushed her hoof over the face of the tome. Imprinted clearly on the face of the tome were the words ARCANE APOLOGY written in bold. Compared to the rest of the cover though, the words seemed out of place in their design. They were a darker, raised black, the kind of illumination a modern publishing company would affix while the rest of the front and back were a dull blue almost faded to gray. Why would an older book have a modern illustration on it?

She opened the book for the third time to the page in question, an entire section of the book simply called "Divine Displacement". Unlike her other spell books, this one didn't seem to be written for a general audience- it was more like a diary of some sort. Notes were scribbled in areas, some passages and select words were underlined and others crossed out. The illustrations were clear but sometimes vague and all the figures seemed to focus on another unicorn mare with a very short mane.

The one thing that was clear about the spell in question was that in order to separate the magic from her, it had to go somewhere. The spell that made her an alicorn, Starswirl's destiny cure-all was what had changed her into an alicorn. It was unlocking magic that had combined with the Elements of Harmony and the magic of friendship to choose her to embody, making Twilight a sort of conduit for this new magic. Unfortunately, Twilight's body hadn't been ready to accept this sort of advancement, which is why the wings weren't comfortable.

Like the title imprinted on the book, her wings felt out of place. The entire book seemed to deal with that subject, things that were out of place, going so far as even to detail magic as it related to humans and other species. Each spell was a way of reversing, reverting or correcting something that had been altered some way... even if that way was by design.

Twilight had a very strong feeling that whoever wrote this book was trying to change something, to fix something horrible that had been done to them or somepony close to them. A fate worse than death. What other reason would a pony have to play god?

Twilight closed the book again, finally deciding what she would do. As the spell had detailed, she would need a place for the excess magic to go. The Destiny Cure had made her the conduit for this magic but it had also made it unbalanced. It was a subtle difference, one easily compensated for but she could bring things back into balance by making a quick calibration.

Using the Displacement spell, she could make it so each element was a way the magic of friendship could be channeled, an equalizer of sorts. Each element would have the ability to summon the others and the destiny magic that embodied Twilight would be shared. The excess amount of magic caused by the cure-all would be absorbed by the elements themselves, making them stronger. In theory.

She set the book in the center of the carpet on the floor, taking a deep breath to prepare for what she was about to do. Using her wings one last time, she flew the couch to the closet where the Elements of Harmony were kept. She reached out for the door knob but unfortunately couldn't stop herself, slamming into the closet door just a bit rougher than intended. One more reason she shouldn't have had the wings so early.

As she was about to open the door, another door opened, the front door.

"Thbbbbbbbbbbbbrmmmmmmmmm!!" Fluffle Puff ran through the living room on her hind legs, forelegs spread in imitation of a plane.

"Twilight!" Dan shouted, following after her. "No time to talk! We're borrowing your helicopter!"

"I-okay," Twilight responded a tad too quickly. "Wait, I have helicopter?!"

"We have a helicopter," Dan corrected as he passed her. "It's in the hangar next to the Fluffmobile." The human followed the puffball mare as they opened a door at the foot of the staircase and exited the living room.

Twilight turned around, now wondering what was up, or what was going up. "Wait, Dan- when did we get a helicopter?" She dashed over to the door and opened it. Beyond was a hallway that definitely hadn't been there before. Adjoining rooms lined the corridor each with a sign above it indicated what was beyond. The hangar was second on the right next to the armory. Further down were a set of elevators though Twilight could only guess where they lead.

The purple pony shook her head in disbelief. "Where did this come from? When did we get a hangar?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY HOUSE?!!"

"Exactly what you'd have done if it had been your idea," Dan said with a smile. He patted his distressed friend's mane and then dashed back down the hallway to the hangar.

Twilight slammed her eyes shut, then the door. "IF IT HAD BEEN MY IDEA, I'D HAVE HAD MY HEAD EXAMINED!!"

Even though they had only been completed a couple days ago, the modifications to the Golden Oaks library, or GORAD as Dan now called it, were already ready for use by all members of the household. Dan, Chrys, Twilight and Fluffle Puff all had access to the new additions Dan had made to the house, though Spike's permissions were restricted for obvious mare-obsessed-baby-dragon-related reasons.

Chrys had insisted that there be a "private planning room" for just she and Dan to use... and maybe Twilight and Fluffle if they swung that way. Maybe. Seriously, you try being a being that can literally be anypony for a thousand years and not get bored with the same "planning" as easily. That might've been why Chrys was so interested in "making plans" with Dan but really, she knew herself better than that. Even though she'd just recently learned how to really feel love, she still felt something special for Dan. Despite the tracking systems, she knew Dan had no idea which is why she'd suggested somewhere private for them to discuss it.

And Dan had declined. He did, however, set up a separate room for some kind of device called the "WOPR" near the war room, adjacent to Mr. Coffee and Mr. Radar. Some kind of contraption he'd ordered off of Amazon that was supposed to plan for global thermonuclear war but all it really did was want to play chess. Never got his name right either; the thing kept calling him Professor Falken and called itself something else. If only Dan had known the full extent of Magic Gear then, he probably wouldn't have taken a sledgehammer to it after 'Joshua' had beaten him at tic-tac toe for the third time. Or maybe he still would have.

"Thmmmmmmmmmthmmthmthmthm!!" Fluffle Puff circled the purple chopper sitting in the hangar bay, eager to takeoff.

Dan hit a button on the wall by the entrance next to the dimmer switch. Because EVERY light needs a dimmer switch. A split in the ceiling formed and two massive roof panels began to retract, opening up to a blue sky above. Along with Fluffle, he piled in to the small, two-seat purple helicopter shaped oddly like Twilight's head with eyes for windows.

While it wasn't the only vehicle in the hangar, the Fluffmobile was more of a go kart Fluffle had painted pick and attached glitter and fluff to. Apart from that, the Y-Wing was only a one-seater, the A-Team's van was up on blocks after Hannibal's last stunt with it and Dan hadn't taken his Delorean to 2015 Hill Valley to get it hover-converted yet. But it was on his list of things. Or list of movie references, whatever was funnier.

Dan's preflight checklist involved him pressing a button next to the yolk marked "ON" above a similarly labeled off button. In an instant, the rotors began to spin, papers and loose items scattered around the hangar floor began to flutter away and the Twilicopter gained lift.

"You strapped in, Fluffle?" Dan asked his copilot.

"Thbb," Fluffle replied.

Dan looked over to confirm that Fluffle Puff was secure. And she was. Upside down. He shrugged. "Good enough. Let's go!"

From the second window, Chrys and Spike were too busy arguing over something in Destiny to notice their friends flying away in a purple Twilight-themed helicopter. Twilight herself was busy having a nervous breakdown throughout the different parts of her newly-renovated library, opening doors and gasping in shock/awe of what lay beyond. Until she found Spike's shrine to Rarity. Although the massive, sculpted marble statue captured Rarity's likeness in the same magnitude of Michael Angelo's David, Twilight honestly had seen it coming.

The Twilicopter soared over Ponyville as easily as a Pegasus taking flight. In fact, several did, because Dan's aggressive piloting nearly saw them plowed by the small craft's blades. Dan flew through clouds, over buildings and completed a loop around the town, satisfied with his flying.

For some reason, the chopper's easy controls reminded Dan of his car back on Earth, one of the few things he missed. Unfortunately, it had been impounded shortly before the plane trip to Canada that would see him transported to Equestria. But with his own helicopter, why would he ever need to drive again? Dan had actually assembled the Twilicopter himself after mailing in the necessary box tops and waiting 4-6 weeks. Now, the thought of the next thing he ordered by mail being baked into a muffin propelled him to Clousdale, to Derpy Hooves.

The location of Cloudsdale was never exact; like a satellite, the floating city was in constant motion in the skies overhead though this was by design rather than by nature. Because of the pegasi's constant need to monitor and control weather activity, Cloudsdale moved throughout the day based on the position of the sun. On a "Sunny" day, the city would begin in the South and then circle around Ponyville as if moved by the hands of an enormous clock and would spin so that it always faced Canterlot. If the day called for another form of weather like rain or snow, the city's course would shift accordingly to deliver or provide support for the intended weather operation. All under the control of the pegasi, and by extension, the Princesses.

It didn't take long for Dan to find Cloudsdale. Even without a compass and general knowledge, pegasi were always traveling to and from the cloud town creating a supply line in the sky. Dan spotted the city at the same altitude it always was at and began moving towards its position.

Barreling towards the city, Dan thought it would be fun to buzz the rooftops one more time.

"What do you say we wake the neighbors?"

"Thrrrb." I was actually hoping for an Airwolf reference but hey, I'll settle for GTA.

Dan grinned and tilted the controls forward. The Twilicopter blew past several houses and Miss Cheerilee's schoolhouse, blowing the flag of Equestria around the pole. Unfortunately, Dan didn't notice a certain group of fillies playing in he schoolyard, one of them using a loopty hoop.

"No, it's like this!" Applebloom tried to demonstrate even though her friends still had the hoop.

"You're doing it wrong!" Scootaloo argued.

Sweetie Belle squeezed the metal ring, not sure what to make of it. "Let me try something!"

"No! You're gunna break it!" Applebloom grabbed it.

"Get off!"

Inevitably, they squeezed the ring and it got away from them. Being a light material, it didn't take much to send it flying and flying it went. The Cutie Mark Crusaders followed it in the air with their eyes, waiting for it to fall back to the ground. And it would have if a certain purple helicopter hadn't been flying dangerously low to the ground that very moment.

"What the-"

"THRRBB!" Don't fly through it; it's not a checkpoint!

It wasn't space and it wasn't a Star Fox reference so flying into the silver ring did nothing but knock their rotors out of alignment and send them into a tailspin. The metal ring ricocheted off the Twilicopter's blades and landed on the flagpole.

"Ringer!" Sweetie Belle said.

"Nice one!" Scootaloo remarked. The three fillies capped hooves.

But in the cockpit of the Twilicopter, Dan and Fluffle Puff were anything but celebrating.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

"THBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!!!!!" You three little stooges! You might as well say 'cutie mark crusaders small aircraft disaster yay!'

Somewhere by a pool in Station Square, Sonic the Hedgehog had his own comment to make: "Watch out! You're gonna crash! Ahhh!"

Dan fought the controls as alarms blared in the cockpit. Fluffle Puff came unbound from her restraints and began bouncing about the enclosed space like rubber ball. The world spun as the Twilicopter lost altitude, falling out of the sky with all the grace of a bird shot in midair.

And at that same time, Wub Way was experiencing a slow period. Octavia was taking the time to clean the outside windows while her friend and hetero lifemate Jay Vinyl Scratch cleaned the inside.

"Hey! Hey, Tavi!" Vinyl called from inside the store.

Frowning, Octavia looked up from her cleaning to answer Vinyl. "What?"

Vinyl took a deep breath and pressed her muzzle against the glass. She blew hard and her eyes went wide, making faces in the glass.
"Aw uhn alien!"

Octavia sighed heavily. "You realize you're making more work for us to do, right?!"

The white unicorn removed her face from the glass. "What's wrong, Tavi?" she snickered. "I thought you said the windows should be so clean you could see your face in them!"

"But that was YOUR face, Vinyl," she reminded her best friend.

Vinyl shrugged. "Well, I was doing my best alien impression."

Octavia facehooved for the third time that day. Little did she know, the fourth was right around the corner. Or rather, eighteen feet above her and falling rapidly. She would've known if she'd looked down to see the shadow growing at her hooves.

The Twilicopter crashed through the ceiling of Wub Way, demolishing both the vehicle and the building in an instant. Shelves of CDs and ipods were knocked over, lights and panels from the roof exploded and fell to the floor. Dan and Fluffle Puff bailed out of the chopper or were thrown from it, two airbags deploying just after the crash.

"WHAT THE BUCK?!" Vinyl shouted.

"SWEET CELESTIA'S NON-CANON MOTHER!" Octavia screamed. The two mares jumped out of the wreckage, retreating to safe distance.

Slowly, the rotating blades of the Twilicopter spun to a halt. The chopper hung from the ceiling like a fish on a spear, drooping from the damage it had suffered on impact. Sparks and flames marked the edges of the hole in the ceiling and on the rotor as Dan and Fluffle walked towards the entrance.

"Wha... what did you two do?!!" Octavia asked, stunned.

"Thrmmbbrbb," Fluffle said back. We landed.

"Dan- hey wait!" Vinyl called after the two as they walked past them. "What the hay are you gonna do about our store?!"

Dan didn't even turn back. "I'm going to get a new helicopter from Hay Mart. Or ask Twilight for the wing spell, whichever comes first. If you both recall, YOU TWO are the reason we had to fix the library over the past couple episodes." He cast a glance over his shoulder at them. "So now we're even. If you want my insurance information, it's in the glove compartment."

The two distraught mares walked out of their destroyed store, slack-jawed. The two watched as the pilots of the downed vehicle just walked away and they realized there was nothing they could do to stop them.

Slowly, Vinyl turned back to the front of Wub Way. "Hey, at least the windows are still clean."

Octavia was about to remark on that fact when the Twilicopter exploded.

BABOOOOOM!!!

While the blast wasn't powerful enough to hurt Vinyl or Octavia, it was strong enough to shatter the windows at the front of the store. The two mares retreated into the street as their building collapsed in front of them into a burning pile of music and music playing devices.

"Oh," Dan shouted back at them from down the street, "and don't ask Flim and Flam to help you fix that."

Having located another helicopter, Dan and Fluffle resumed their trip to Cloudsdale without delay. Dan did ask Twilight about using the wing spell to get there but then Twilight asked where the Twilicopter was. And Dan had left quietly after that, neither of them receiving an answer to either of their questions. Dan and Fluffle then quickly went to Hay Mart where they bought another quick-assemble helicopter. Somepony in front of them in line used their membership card for them saving Dan 15% on his purchase.

Soon after taking flight, the city of Cloudsdale was before them. They experienced significantly less shenanigans than their previous allowing them to travel unhindered.

Dan had actually been to Cloudsdale before though he hadn't known it. He passed by, or rather through, the city on his way into Equestria over three years ago. It just so happened Rainbow Dash had been flying around the city and spotted the young man plummeting to his doom that allowed her to intervene and save him. Shortly after meeting him, Twilight had given him the cloud walking spell in the event that anything like that ever happened again. For once, a little magical preparation paid off.

There were landing pads for vehicles in Cloudsdale but not in the central square where Dan was landing. Pegasi had to dodge Dan's chopper as it touched down in the middle of town, sitting its struts into the cloudy surface as he and Fluffle Puff disembarked.

"Now to find where our local gourmet mail maker lives," Dan said, hopping out.

Fluffle Puff gasped as her hooves hit the clouds. Every. Thing. Is. Fluffy. WHY DO I NOT LIVE HERE?

Dan looked around, searching for any sign of the Pegasus perpetrator. Cloudsdale was primarily divided between the residential area and the industrial area; the location of pegasi and other flying creatures' homes and where they created and regulated weather respectively. Dan and Fluffle had managed to land on the hub that connected both areas, a central wheel of cloudy road that also led to the stadium and training areas.

"Where should we start looking?" Dan asked his fluffy accomplice.

While hopping about, Fluffle noticed a layout of the town near the center of the square. "Pbthh." Hey Dan, there's a map over-

"If I was a Pegasus delivering mail... and muffins, where would I be?" Dan asked himself.

"Pbthh pbtth!" Fluffle pointed to the map and waved at Dan, trying to get his attention.

The pale human turned his attention away, still deep in thought. "There's no bakery in Equestria that would allow a letter to be baked into something, except for Pinkie but she signs all of her deserts when she makes them. So it can't be her... which means, the muffin Derpy delivered to us had to have been homemade."

"Thbbb? Thbb thrbb thuub!" Dan? Hello, Dan? Over here! This map even shows right where Der-

"So if it's a homemade muffin," Dan continued, "she probably has a lot of other baking supplies at her house. Flour, eggs, yeast and ovens. Now, most of that stuff she can get from Ponyville but an oven that can reach the heat to bake something at this altitude would need special parts..."

"THHHHUUUUUUUUUB!!" DAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

"Which means," Dan started pacing, "she'd need to go to some kind of repair shop every now and then, and being a mail mare it would probably be one with a catalogue. And if I know my appliance stores, I know the only one that has a catalogue and might have the parts for that kind of specialty equipment would be Hay Mart, like the one we were just at," Dan surmised. "If only we'd gotten a catalogue. Oh well. Fluffle Puff! Back in the chopper, we're going back to Hay Mart."

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrr," Fluffle growled. I really hate being the mute sidekick sometimes. She trotted over to Dan, grabbed him by the sides of his head and pointed him to the map.

"Oh hey, a map," Dan remarked.

Fluffle facehooved.

The human approached the town layout in the center of the square, taking a moment to determine where he was first. As Dan studied the map, Fluffle Puff's attention span depleted and she began rolling about on the clouds.

"All right, it looks like she's on the east side of town. We have a good chance of finding her if we cut down center street and then take a sky taxi to the houses on the edge of town," Dan thought aloud, rubbing his chin as he formed his plan.

Wheee!! Fluffle had managed to wrap herself in cloud and continued rolling back and fourth while Dan was engrossed. IT'S SOFTER THAN I AM! I MUST HAVE IT ALL!

Before Dan was done examining the map, he noticed the words Cloudsdale- Semper Aegis Caelum printed in bold at the top of the layout. Although curious, he didn't pay the phrase much thought as he turned to see Fluffle Puff playing.

"Fluffle Puff..." Dan began, his voice a tad stern.

"Thbb?" Yes, Dan? Fluffle stopped rolling, leaving her upside down and covered in white with only her head poking out.

Rather than get mad or frustrated at Fluffle's lack of seriousness, Dan broke out into a smile. "It's a good thing Twilight hit us with the cloud walking spell before we got here. Otherwise, you'd probably be on your way back to Ponyville now."

Fluffle gasped and giggled in agreement. Then, she suddenly stopped. "Thbbb thpp thmm." But you know, something's bothering me.

"What's that?" Dan asked, somehow understanding her.

"Thmm thngg thmm thbb thbb thbb," Fluffle sputtered. If we're able to walk up here because of the cloud walking spell, how is the helicopter still staying up?

"Huh. We'll maybe it's because-" Dan was about to suggest something when the helicopter chimed in with a suggestion of its own. Or rather, its tail slowly dipped into the clouds and the vehicle dropped like a stone through the city street. With no one at the controls, the helicopter plummeted back down to Equestria's surface.

Dan pinched his eyes shut. "Why? WHY DOES IT SEEM that EVERYTHING in this world makes sense ONLY WHEN IT WANTS TO?! It's like magic makes sense one second and then conveniently makes NO SENSE just to PISS ME OFF!!"

The helicopter continued falling from the sky, tumbling end over end as it did so. Being as Ponyville was directly underneath Cloudsdale, there was only one place for it to fall to.

"OH, I see how it is!" Sendback yelled over the phone. His voice echoed through the empty Ponyville post office. "I see EXACTLY how it is! You're gonna put the black man on hold, aren't ya? You're gonna put the hardworking BLACK donkey on hold so you can go talk to the other little WHITE equines. I see how it is!"

The voice on the other end had long since cutout to be replaced by hold music, coincidentally the theme of Friendship is Magic.

"You'd NEVER do this if I was a white donkey! If I was a white ANYTHING, you would've been more than happy to take my call! 'Oh, how can we help you Mr. White Man? Would you like express service, Mr. White Man? If it had been ANYPONY else, you would've flown in here like I was-"

KABOOOOOOOOM!! The helicopter plunged through the rough of the post office, destroying everything in the center of the building, knocking over displays, showering everything in sparks, smoke and flames but once again miraculously harming not a single living thing.

Slowly, Sendback got up from behind his desk, now holding a disconnected phone in his right hoof. "I'm gonna have to call you back," he said into the phone. "Black man needs to call his insurance agent."

Far above Ponyville, Dan and Fluffle remained oblivious of the havoc below. "Great. Now we're going to have to find another way safely back to the ground AFTER we find Derpy. So… where do we start?"

"Thmmmm…" Fluffle rubbed her chin. Maybe we should find a map or-

"Hey, you guys flying," Dan stopped a pair of pegasi. "You two know where I can find a mail mare?"

The first one, an orange stallion pegasus with a white chest, black hooves, a brown mane and white wings with a red stripe in the middle pointed over behind him. "Derpy just came by this way, if you're looking for her."

"Did she miss a delivery?" the pony behind him asked.

"No, she missed a deliverer. Me. But I'm here to correct that mistake," Dan said in a hostile voice.

"I see," the orange pony said, apparently picking up some of Dan's displeasure. "And who is this you're with?"

"Thbb-thbb!" EVERYTHING IS FLUFFY! She rolled off of a cloud-shaped ramp and through a cloud column, disrupting its architecture.

Dan pointed a thumb over his shoulder. "That's Fluffle Puff, the incarnation of a hurricane of snuggly fluff. I'm Dan, part-time delivery guy and royal guard captain."

"I'm Commander Edge Antares," the orange pegasus said. His cutie mark was a series of bolts pointing upward at a diagonal angle like arrows racing into the sky. "This is my wing pony, Lieutenant West Chancing. We're with the Equestrian Air Patrol. We keep watch on the borders and take care of any unauthorized traffic in or out of Equestria. Mostly we deal with griffon pirates to the west or fake donkey insurance agents to the south."

The other stallion, a yellow pony with a blue mane, winked at the two of them. "Yub yub, guys. Welcome to Cloudsdale."

"You may want to watch your step around here, captain," Edge said, his voice in a warning tone. "The Storm Enclave's really tightened up on security since the incident at Canterlot a couple weeks ago. They're not really fond of surface dwellers coming to Cloudsdale unannounced."

"I appreciate the heads up," Dan said. "Since you're a commander, would you be able to straighten out any, shall we say, inconveniences while I'm up here?"

Edge shrugged. "We would but we'd also have to report you right now. Which would mean we'd have to escort you to the main office right now to register your arrival. Which would waste time."

"And your mail mare would be further away," West added.

Dan nodded, understanding what the two ponies were saying. "I gotcha."

Edge smiled. "Since my wing pony and I were about to head out on patrol, it wouldn't make sense to report this sighting now and possibly be late for our very-important reconnaissance. So, I'll have to ask both of you to take care of that yourselves while you're here."

"I understand, sir," Dan said with a resolute grin. It was clear the two other ponies were letting them off so that they could continue their business undeterred. It wasn't often Dan found a pony like him but he was happy to meet one. "Thank you, Commander Antares. Best of luck on your patrol."

"Likewise, Captain Dan," Edge said, saluted and flew off with his wing pony.

"I like those guys," Dan said. "Unfortunately, I'm just now remembering we didn't ask him where we could find another helicopter. Not that the magic keeping it up would probably last long enough for us to fly it home. It would probably fade just as soon as we got there," he sighed. "Why does magic never work?"

"Thpp!" Fluffle ran over and grabbed Dan by the shoulders. Don't say that, Dan! Magic DOES work!

"Yeah?" Dan asked. "Tell me that when you come up with a spell to find Derpy Hooves."

Fluffle's eyes narrowed. From her utility fluff, she retrieved her toy unicorn horn and tied it around her forehead.

"Ha," Dan laughed. "What are you going to do with that? Is Derpy magnetic now and that horn is part of a compass? What good do you think that'll do?"

Fluffle grinned. "Pbhhhbb." This.

"Hey, wai- what are you doing?!?" The fluffy pony picked up Dan, put him on her back and began hopping down the street to Derpy's house.

"Wait! I can walk on my own!" Dan pleaded, helplessly stuck to Fluffle's back somehow. Tilting his head back, he soon saw how they would reach the residential area of town. "NO! NOT THE RAINBOWS!"

"THBBBB!!" Yes, the rainbows!

"No!"

YUS!

The residential area of Cloudsdale was usually a bustle of activity, similar to the streets of Ponyville and Canterlot. Unlike her sister cities, however, Cloudsdale didn't see a lot of vehicle traffic, but for some reason, today the streets had been cordoned off. A crowd of pegasi, the majority of those that lived and worked in the city, had assembled in the streets for some kind of demonstration. While many hadn't known what they were going to see when they first approached, most of them were now too captivated by the strange lab coat-wearing, brown earth pony that dominated the stage. They watched in awe as he walked on his two metal back legs and gestured with two equally metal-looking claws on his front hooves.

From the moment he started speaking, Vice Grip knew he had them eating out of the palms of his steel hands. "Cloudsdale cares about the future," he proclaimed to the crowd. "Each and every one of you, pegasi who create the weather, who control the atmosphere, who regulate our very environment, of all the creatures who live in Equestria, it is all of YOU who care about the future of our world the most."

Many didn't know what to think of his speech, many talked amongst themselves, a few agreed. Unlike crowds in Ponyville, dozens of pegasi hovered above the others, creating a layered-audience that even veteran public speakers might find daunting. But Vice showed no signs of nervousness. No matter how high or how low they were, he spoke to them like he was on their level. When he thought quite the opposite.

"Earth ponies like myself know how important your contributions are," he held his gauntlet over his heart. "Together, our three races have held our nation up for centuries. But my friends, there are storms on the horizon and it is not the farmers or the arcanists who can see them coming. No, my fellow ponies, it is you."

Silence fell over the crowd. All eyes were glued now on the pony who was on the stage.

"Pegasi are the ones who give us the weather, Pegasi are the ones that clear the skies, Pegasi are that ones that make it rain, make it snow and make it so that the sun can truly shine!"

Pegasi cheered, hollered and applauded as the stranger complemented them. What Vice was saying was true and slowly, a sense of pride began to overtake some of the skeptics in the audience.

"But, there are some things you can't control," Vice's tone turned serious. "Rogue storms. Natural disasters. Fires, earthquakes, renegade weather, giant monsters, pestilence, famine and disease. These problems have plagued Equestria in the past and for all you do for us on the surface, there are some things, sadly, that you cannot predict. Things that you cannot see coming and when they arrive... you cannot stop them."

The cheering died and the crowd became silent again. Once more, Vice spoke the truth. Indeed, many pegasi were troubled by their inability to control some natural disasters. Hurricanes, tornadoes, storms of all kinds that cropped up now and then, they slipped by the pegasi. It was the pegasi's responsibility to control the weather so when a rogue storm caused damage, it was the fault of the winged ones. Every one of them that could've done something.

From the day it was founded by Commander Hurricane, Cloudsdale had been envisioned as more of a military installation rather than a city. Although she had been reluctant to cooperate with the other tribes at first, the leader of the pegasi oversaw the construction and completion of Cloudsdale during her time. Commander Hurricane designed the city to be a flying fortress that monitored and controlled every air current, everything that attempted to get off the ground from birds to balloons. Her motto had been "Aegis Semper Caelum"- Defend Always our Skies. Many pegasi today still believed in Hurricane's vision.

"However," Vice suddenly announced, "my friends, I'm happy to tell you that you aren't the only ones who have been planning for the future. My organization, Future Integrations Stable-Tec or FIST, is right now at this very moment working hard to bring us all a brighter future today!"

The blue curtains on the stage behind Vice Grip pulled back to reveal several other ponies, all pegasi. They all wheeled various contraptions and components onto the stage: one appeared to be a suit of armor, another some kind of transparent globe mounted on top of a clock and another one looked like a mechanical parasprite- only about five times the size of a normal parasprite.

Lightning Claw glared at the crowd as he pushed out the Mk-1 Hailstorm Power Armor suit. It had been a while since he'd found himself in Cloudsdale and wasn't too keen on coming back after the accident. And he hadn't been the only one Vice had requested come with him to Cloudsdale; other pegasi were already there when Claw had arrived, setting up for the demonstration. He hadn't seen any of these ponies before but they weren't apparently part of FIST. They were something else entirely.

Vice took the center stage as his inventions were carted forward. A sea of wide eyes was accompanied by crashing waves of "oohs" and "ahhs" as the pegasi gazed at the spectacles. Like moths drawn to a flame, the winged citizens of Cloudsdale came closer to the stage, filling out the space around it quickly.

"Imagine all the problems of today as things of the past. Imagine a world where controlling the weather is as easy as flapping your own wings. With the flick of a hoof, you can now control any cloud, make it go anywhere and produce any type of weather at any time," Vice decreed. "Sounds like a thing of the future, right?" he asked the crowd. Then with a grin, answered his own question. "Exactly."

Claw hadn't been briefed on what would happen at the demonstration. As usual, he'd been told to show up and then he'd been told to carry things. With FIST, he'd learned to expect the unexpected but even he was surprised when Vice stepped to the side as another pony took the stage.

A light-green Pegasus mare with an odd-looking short-cut fiery mane stepped forward. Her cutie mark appeared to be a coiled spring with a lightning ball on top of it, almost like the contraption Vice kept referring to as a Tesla coil. From her own cart full of prototype innovations, she withdrew some kind of cuff-like object and slipped it over her right foreleg. It attached around with an audible clack. From his vantage point, Lightning Claw couldn't see very well but he could tell she was manipulating something on it.

"Captain Springer of Cloudsdale's very own Storm Enclave has agreed to demonstrate our latest creation for weather control- the ClipBuck!" Vice announced.

Officially, the Storm Enclave was a group that administered flight training to young pegasi, griffons and other creatures with wings, monitored air traffic in Cloudsdale and provided security and protection for the various citizens of Equestria from the upper atmosphere to the surface. Unofficially, they were an organization founded by Commander Hurricane herself with the goal of keeping Equestria, and the pegasi especially, prepared in the event of an invasion or attack. While most pegasi didn't know the full extent of the Enclave's purpose, more than a few were a part of it, including some that didn't live in Cloudsdale.

Convincing an army to simply lay down their arms and become civilians was difficult at best, almost impossible and prone to starting violent conflict at the worst. When Commander Hurricane agreed to unite her tribe with the other two during the founding of Equestria, she had also been asked by the other tribe leaders to disband the army every Pegasus was a part of. Having just overcome a famine through friendship, discovered a new land with which to live in and relying on the other tribes to survive, Commander Hurricane and her tribe were in no position to debate.

Commander Hurricane had been more than reluctant at first. Without armed forces, they left their new, fledgling nation of Equestria vulnerable to attack. But the other tribe leaders convinced her that if the threat of war came, the ponies would protect their world together, united. It was settled. For most, anyway.

The crowd backed away as Captain Springer approached the edge of the stage. "Since we pegasi first started to control the weather, we've had to use our hooves. Telekinesis, levitation, magic that could help us move the clouds has always been something beyond our reach," she addressed the crowd in a serious tone. Satisfied with the settings, the captain raised her hoof and pointed it at a cloud just above a rooftop.

"Today, that changes!" With a downward twitch of her hoof, she launched a blue disk-shaped pulse from the side of her ClipBuck. It cut through the sky with a warbling swish. The wayward cloud was struck, glowing blue for only a second before returning to normal. Dazzled and more than a little startled, the crowd eyed the target in anticipation. Not even Lightning Claw knew what would happen next but Vice Grip did.

The captain keyed the controls of the ClipBuck, typing in the commands. "Now, every cloud can be controlled with just the push of a button," she explained. Using the ClipBuck as a remote control, she made the cloud fly over the pegasi just in front of the stage. She made it do tricks, loops all as easy as controlling a remote control car or plane. Ponies watched in amazement as she pointed and the cloud obeyed her. It was science fiction come to life.

"That's not all! If we're short of rain clouds we need for a forecast," she keyed in a different set of commands. Pegasi watched as the white cloud turned grey. "With a ClipBuck, we can now change one type of cloud to another to suit our needs! No more looking for the right cloud for the job when every one of them can be made to do anything we need!" Instantly, the cloud started raining, showering the crowd. Pegasi opened their mouths to catch the rain, refreshing themselves while others hid their manes for fear of getting wet.

Vice Grip stepped back towards the middle of the stage. "Rain, sleet, snow, hail, the ClipBuck never fails to deliver the weather you need. Even lightning and cyclones can all be controlled with a single shot!" The crowd applauded, clapping their hooves rather than stomping the clouds underneath them. "And because it controls the size of the cloud, there's no chance of accidentally creating a major weather hazard. Safety is FIST's and the Storm Enclave's number-one priority!"

Tapping the screen again, Captain Springer changed the cloud back to its regular form. The only thunder to be heard came from the audience who cheered her on. Allowing herself a rare smile, the Enclave captain took a short bow before stepping back from the edge of the stage.

"Very nice," Vice announced. "Let's give it up for Captain Springer demonstrating the new ClipBuck!" He joined in, applauding her by clapping with his own metal gauntlets.

She turned back to the crowd, her smile diminishing fast as her expression returned to its normal serious tone.

Upon the founding of Equestria and the creation of Cloudsdale, Commander Hurricane ended generations of military tradition by removing her helmet and abolishing the Grand Pegasus Army as an institution. But changing her tribe's way of life was not that easy. Every Pegasus had been a soldier, a warrior and defender of a nation as wild and free as the sky itself. The pegasi were a nation of ponies determined to tame the sky for all. Many nearly refused to lay down their arms, to abandon their way of life for something new even if it was peace.

Secretly, Commander Hurricane founded the Storm Enclave as a way to preserve the pegasi's military culture. Cloudsdale was crafted to be the ultimate defense, the first line of defense for Equestria and new generations of pegasi would be trained to protect it. The pegasi's way of life was shifted from defense of the borders to management of the skies, from military dominance to industrial regulation. Slowly, the winged ponies adapted to the new challenge and the Storm Enclave eased that transition by continuing to give pegasi military training and equipment. The spirit of the Grand Pegasus Army lived on as the Storm Enclave.

But the Enclave never forgot its true purpose. To provide Equestria with a better defense than the one it had, to protect their skies and their lands from the storm whenever it arrived. Commander Hurricane's words, "Aegis Semper Caelum" were taught to every pegasi whether they were born on the ground or in the skies. And if anything happened to Cloudsdale or Equestria, the Enclave would move in to administer and establish swift control over all the land. By any means necessary.

"Good job, Green," Lightning Claw whispered to Captain Springer. She shot him a gruff glance, an indecipherable expression only years of military training, drills and discipline could create. The experimental Pegasus just shrugged back at her.

Pleased, Vice Grip chose that moment to bestow some praise on one of his newest associates when a pony from the crowd interrupted him.

"Can it make rainbows?" a Pegasus by the stage asked.

Hesitant, Vice turned around.

"The clippy-thing, can it make rainbows?" he asked again. Already, pegasi in the audience harped on that question and curiosity spread through the assembly like wildfire. Excited murmurs and skeptical conversation grew loud as Vice struggled to think of an answer.

"This is just a prototype," Vice explained. "We're still developing the ClipBuck and doing our best to meet the needs of every pegasi. Designing new forms and new types of weather is on the table but we're working on one model at a time, thank you."

The crowd's in-talking continued, some satisfied with the answer, others not. It had been an oversight on his part, not adding controls to produce rainbows. At this point, Vice wasn't even sure if he could without the proper materials. He began to feel nervous as the audience's doubt pressed in on him.

And that was when Captain Springer stepped forward. "The ClipBuck is designed to help pegasi better manage the weather on an individual scale," she declared. "The factories and plants of Cloudsdale still create the weather, rainbows included. Make no mistake; we need devices like the ones FIST is making to better control the skies and protect against rogue storms. We NEED this, Cloudsdale. It's something that could benefit us all."

Vice breathed a sigh of relief. It seemed her words had won over more than a few. His new ally was resourceful, something he was very thankful for. Vice Grip needed ponies like Springer if his future for Equestria could ever be realized. Maybe even the entire Enclave.

Privately, Captain Springer had her own reasons for wanting Equestria to change. Not every Pegasus was part of the Enclave even if they were trained by them. Only elite Pegasus or those with exceptional skill were permitted to join, ponies like Springer. Being part of the almost-secret organization meant preparing for a storm that might never come, the threat of war on the horizon they couldn't see. But to Captain Springer, the storms were already here.

"There will be time for questions after the demonstration; let's carry on, shall we?" Vice motioned to the assembly. "Now, another feature of the ClipBuck we want to talk to you about is called the 'Optically Assisted Target Evaluation System' or O.A.T.E.S, for short. With this system and the appropriate number of action points you can...-"

Springer let Vice have the floor again. She herself watched to make sure every eye followed him as he explained. Hopefully, enough of them would understand how important these innovations were, how much they needed them.

Nightmare Moon's return, Discord's return, the Changeling's return, Equestria had been besieged by many threats already, many of which Springer believed could've been stopped, even averted if the proper response had been given. The princesses relied on magic to solve their problems even when it CAUSED many of their problems. There HAD to be a better way. Magic they only barely understood was supposed to protect them? The idea was laughable. No, there were so many problems that a military response could've solved already, threats that could've been ended before they caused real damage. If the Pegasus Army had been intact, that is.

Captain Springer looked out into the crowd, to the ponies she'd sworn to protect. They deserved her loyalty, not the magic-users and cultists on the ground that constantly blundered into things and endangered the whole world, not the princesses who did nothing, who sat complacent on their thrones waiting for magic to provide an answer. If Commander Hurricane was here, she would marshal the ponies in times of hardship. Commander Hurricane would've defeated Nightmare Moon with an army of pegasi, she would've ended Discord's resurgent reign and rid the sky of chaos through direct and decisive control, she would've blown the changelings out of Canterlot with a storm the likes of which Equestria had never seen.

But Commander Hurricane wasn't here. And Springer was just a captain.

The demonstration was about to continue when the crowd started to shift. Something behind them and down another street was drawing their attention. Pegasi shifted their heads and turned around to see what the commotion was about.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!" Dan's wail drew the assembly's attention as Fluffle Puff dragged him into view.

Fluffle Puff herself was still in delight as she bolted down the alley, running as fast as her fluffy legs could carry her. She hadn't been able to find rainbows to dance on but had in fact found some rainbow-colored wallpaper. Trying to imitate Rainbow Dash now, Dan had become entangled when the fluffy mare ran off with them.

"What is that?" the pegasi began to wonder at the spectacle behind them.

"Sure is loud."

"Is this part of the demonstration?"

"No," Vice Grip answered, not loud enough for any of the audience to hear him. His eyes narrowed as he fixated on the two new arrivals disrupting his presentation. "It's Dan."

"Dan?" Lightning Claw asked. "What's he doing here?"

Vice spun around. "I don't know but we can't let him recognize you. Get out of sight- now."

Rather than risk attempting a spell, Lightning Claw took that moment to duck behind the curtains of the stage. Humans may have been backwards and primitive but Dan wasn't an idiot. Lightning Claw had attacked him and though he didn't know he was involved with FIST, if he saw them together, it wouldn't be long before he made the connection. Vice needed more time.

Captain Springer looked through the crowd of pegasi, over the ones standing and past the ones flying to see what they were looking at. "That pale thing? That's Dan?" she asked, skeptical.

Vice didn't take his eyes off the two. "That's him. He's a human from Earth. Don't underestimate him; he's tougher than he-"

"What's that thing he's with?" Springer squinted. "Is that- wait!" The pink cloud! One of Discord's cotton candy clouds! They were back and one of them had gotten tangled up in some kind of tape!

"EVERYPONY DOWN!" Captain Springer yelled. She took off form the stage, slapping the ClipBuck back on her wrist. Pegasi ducked down and backed away as the captain took aim at the 'cotton candy cloud'. "IT'S ROGUE CLOUD!!"

"What are you doing?!" Vice Grip demanded.

"It's one of Discord's clouds! I can take care of it this time!"

"Wait! That's not-!"

She targeted the 'cotton candy cloud' in O.A.T.E.S. "I won't let you get away again." Her eyes narrowed at her target, grim determination on her face.

Vice held up his hands. "STOP!"

Too late. She fired.

Fluffle Puff stopped in the middle of the street, Dan skidding to a halt behind her. Thankfully, the roads were made of clouds so his trip hadn't been a painful one.

"Thppp," Fluffle declared. I'm not going fast enough to make a Sonic Rainboom. Dan, find me something to make me go fasta. It'll probably have to be red.

"The only thing I'm going to find is duct tape; I'm sticking you back on the ceiling if you do that again," Dan remarked, climbing to his feet. The hyper mare had dragged him across town but at least they were closer to Derpy's house right now.

"Pbbthh thbb." Admit it. You had fun.

"Fine," Dan groaned, untangling himself. "We did make good time."

Fluffle grinned contently in response. There was always time for fun.

"All right, now that we're here, we can find where Derpy lives," Dan said. He kicked his foot, rainbow-colored paper still attached to it. "Help me get this stuff off me first."

Fluffle noticed a good amount of tape was still attached to her back after she ran through the rainbow-colored street barricade. Why would a cloud city where most ponies flew need a blockade anyway? She and Dan began removing the tape from her fluff and Dan's clothes.

Taking only a split second to target the pink cloud in O.A.T.E.S, Captain Springer fired the ClipBuck's control ray. A blue disk of energy was launched from the device and shot down the street at her target. Some ponies covered their heads but others watched to see if the blast hit its mark.

And it would have if Captain Springer had been aiming at a cloud. The command blast rebounded back before hitting Fluffle Puff, bouncing off her fluff like a rubber ball. She and Dan looked up from their detangling when they heard the noise but quickly thought nothing of it and returned to removing the tape stuck to them.

Captain Springer noticed something didn't seem right. Quickly, she realized the ClipBuck's shot had been reflected somehow. If the realization had come any slower, she wouldn't have also realized that the blast was shooting right back at her.

"Get down!" She dodged the ray, ducking down a mere moment before it cut through the air she occupied a second ago. The energy disk whizzed past her, hitting instead something behind her.

Krizzzzzzzzzzz-krak!

"You... what did you just do?" Vice asked the captain.

Slowly, ponies in the crowd turned to see what the ClipBuck beam had hit. A loud, electric whirr began to fill the air.

"Is THIS part of the demonstration?" a pony in the crowd asked.

"Vice, I'm sorry. I thought it was a-" Springer stopped midsentence. Both she and Vice, the rest of the FIST ponies on stage and the entire crowd around them turned their attention to something else on stage.

Lightning Claw peeked out from behind the curtain. "Is... is the Tesla Coil supposed to be doing that?"

Hit by the control ray from the ClipBuck, the ball atop the Tesla Coil had cracked and the entire machine now surged with electricity. Lightning in various colors bled around the machine, sparking and cracking as the device itself glowed a bright 'she's gonna blow' red.

"No. No it is not," Vice answered in a calm, matter-of-fact tone. "It's experiencing an electrical overload, the energy it's storing exceeds the amount the capacitor can regulate and now it's-"

"Should we run?" Lightning interrupted to ask an important question.

"Probably but-" Vice's reply came a bit too late. The Tesla Coil's lightning ball exploded in a flash of lightning and energy shot into the sky. Although nopony on stage was harmed, they scrambled away from the damaged contraption as it unleashed a pulse of electricity. For a moment, it seemed as though that's all it would do until it teetered and fell off the stage.

"Back! Get back!" Vice yelled.

The audience took to the sky as the coil crashed to the cloud street below, electricity still surging through it. Magic and energy reacted with the clouds and the device plunged through the layer like a spear through cotton. The hole it made grew, destabilizing the part of the road the stage was under until the stage itself began to lean.

"You broke it! You broke the cloud layer!" Lightning Claw shouted.

"GET OFF THE STAGE!" Vice yelled over him.

Lightning Claw, Captain Springer, Vice Grip and the two others who had helped set up FIST's many inventions clambered off the stage as the platform dipped low into the street. Its own weight pierced it through the hole made by the Tesla Coil and the frame fell through the clouds. The stage dropped from Cloudsdale like a stone scattering two Power Armor suits, one Spritebot and dozens of ClipBucks to the surface below. The Power Armor might've been salvageable depending on where it landed but it was unlikely anything else would be.

The hole in the clouds stopped before it became any bigger, some pegasi already moving other clouds into position to close the gap. Vice Grip stood up and walked over to his associates in the middle of the street. His eyes were glued on the street knowing that millions of bits worth of equipment was now plummeting to Ponyville where it would be reduced to scrap upon impact.

"Vice..." Captain Springer started to say. She clutched her right foreleg, patting the only ClipBuck now left. "I'm so sorry. I-"

Vice held up a metal hand. "Don't. Just don't."

She put her hoof over her heart. "I swear sir, the Enclave's services are at your disposal. We'll pay for this, I promise."

"Yes," Vice agreed. "I'm sure you will," he said stoically.

Behind them, another noise grabbed their attention. The pegasi crowd was applauding.

"WOO!!"

"Best demonstration EVER!"

"Was that even part of the demonstration?"

"Who cares? That was awesome!"

Lightning Claw shrugged. "At least we put on a good show."

Vice didn't chuckle. The scientist earth pony straightened his lab coat and walked away, Captain Springer quickly following him.

At the other end of the street, Dan and Fluffle Puff finally got themselves untangled from the rainbow wallpaper and tape. They just then noticed the crowd of ponies cheering at something behind them.

"Thppp," Fluffle said. What did we miss?

Dan shrugged. "Eh, probably nothing groundbreaking. I'm not much for street performers."

The two turned around and resumed their journey to Derpy's.

The roads leading away from the apartment complexes, hotels and taller buildings broke off into smaller streets leading to communities and neighborhoods that served as standard housing. While it was a city for pegasi, not every neighborhood in Cloudsdale maximized the use of vertical space. Some did, having houses spread out or layered on top of each other with enough space in between to fly but each community was a bit different aesthetically to suit the needs and desires of its inhabitants.

A park and even a country club complemented the area complete with a public golf course that included green and white hills and fairways. It was an elegant blend of land and sky maintained by the pegasi living there.

But of course, for every 'original' setting or concept I design, I like to throw in something reference-y to put things into perspective. This story isn't about being serious; it's about fun in case I need to say that again. So, with that in mind, the Sky-Line from Bioshock: Infinite also dominated the sky above the streets; rails and beams supported by polished-white metal struts hung above the roads and sidewalks at the edges of the clouds. Packages of various sizes and crates of supplies raced about on the rails behind the backyards of houses and through neighborhoods, never going over or near a house but around.

However, there was no pneumatic transit tube or anything like that, so conveniently Derpy's job as mailmare had not been rendered obsolete. Besides, sending muffins via a tube kind of loses its personal touch and makes them taste like compressed air. And knowing Derpy, the thing would be clogged with muffins by the end of the first day. So it was probably a good thing.

Derpy's community was more contemporary in design. Flowers, trees and sections of grass designed to thrive at high altitudes lined the streets, sidewalks and lawns of many houses. While Dan stomped his way towards this community, Fluffle took the time to enjoy the landscape, rolling through the grass and flowerbeds. If you're wondering, this action rated an "elevendy-kajillion" d'awwws on the Faust-Libman Adorbs Scale, just above Pinkie Pie being herself and under Fluttershy waking up in the morning.

After a thorough review of a map of the community, Dan was able to narrow down the location of Derpy's house to one neighborhood. Now it was just a matter of going door-to-door until they found the gray mare in question. Dan would've found Fluffle's rolling adorable or annoying but he was too busy focusing on what he would do to Derpy when he found her. Blowing up her mailbox was a given but there was more he could do. But answers had to come first.

The pair turned the corner into Derpy's neighborhood, a collection of houses lining a single-lane cloud road. Fluffle Puff hopped ahead of him down the street but stopped shortly after the entrance in front of a pair of tan pegasi wearing suits that were blocking the road. A mare and a stallion, they stood close together and presented Fluffle with something.

"Fluffle?" Dan asked, noticing his companion's distraction. "Hey! Whatever you're selling, we're not buying any of it!" he stormed over to her quickly.

"Hello there," the stallion greeted Dan.

"Yes, hello," the mare added.

"Hello?" Dan asked, slowing his pace to approach them warily. Fluffle stepped to the side and the pair presented the items to Dan. Two different broaches were held in their hooves each with a tiny picture in them.

"The bird?" the stallion asked.

"Or the cage?" the mare asked.

Dan shook his head. "The what or the what?"

The tan mare Pegasus then facehooved. "I'm sorry, these are the wrong ones. One moment," the pair pocketed the two amulets and retrieved two different ones.

"Sorry about the mix up," the stallion said. "Those are for... someone else. All right, one more time; the seed?"

"Or the sword?"

Fluffle stared wide-eyed at the two objects, examining each one. "Thbbb... thbbb."

Dan looked at each but was still confused. "What are you asking me? What do you two want?"

"It's a simple choice," the stallion said.

"One you've made before, many times," the mare explained.

"And one you'll make again."

"It's your decision Mr. Dew- ...sorry, Dan."

"The seed?" the stallion presented.

"Or the sword?" the mare followed suit.

"Thbbb... thppp, ththth," Fluffle looked at each again. I get it... they're symbolic choices but they're also physical. You can choose either one, determine your fate based on the choices you make either consciously or subconsciously, without knowing the consequences, the full extent of your actions. But in the end, they both require a level of commitment, the dedication to-

"Not interested," Dan shoved the pegasi's gifts away. "Now if you'll excuse us, we have a message to deliver."

The ponified Lutece siblings were forced to step aside as Dan walked past them and down the street. Fluffle Puff shrugged at the pair and hopped after him.

A tad perplexed themselves, Rosalind and Robert straightened out their respective outfits and departed in the opposite direction.

"I told you he wouldn't pick that one," Robert said.

"He didn't pick either of them," Rosalind argued.

Robert smirked. "Precisely. And I believe that makes me the victor."

"How?" the mare asked her brother. "He didn't pick EITHER of them."

"And we both knew he wouldn't. But he will."

"Next time, you mean?"

"Yes. He didn't choose now so that next time, he'll have the same choice. And next time, he'll know it."

"But what if he makes the same choice?" she asked.