Setting the needle down I sighed, finally after two whole hours I was able to finish the stitch. “Why thank you,” said my Grandmother, “Stitching isn’t that bad isn’t it.”

Looking down at my blood drenched hands I sighed. “I think my hands would object to that, Granny.”

My Grandmother chuckled, reaching over she patted me on the back. “You’ll get better in all due time.”

Getting up I patted my legs down. “Yeah I highly doubt that.”

Looking back at my Grandmother I saw that she was frowning. “Now why would you say that?”

“Because I’m never going to stitch,” I said as I turned towards the kitchen to get me something to drink.

My Grandmother rolled her eyes. “You don’t do anything.”

Turning around I pointed at her. “Now that’s a dead lie, I do plenty of things.”

She looked at me unconvinced. “Like what?”

“I write for starters,” I said opening the fridge and grabbing the gallon of tea.

“Now when did you start writing?” Granny asked as she strolled into the kitchen.

“When you guys got me that new computer,” I said as I poured myself a glass, looking at my Granny I gestured towards the tea, “Want some?”

Granny shook her head. “I don’t drink tea, and now stop trying to change the subject. What do write about?”

“Stuff,” I said not wanting to tell her I write about pastel colored ponies and how I can somehow interact with them. “well I’m going back upstairs. See you at dinner,” I said patting her on the shoulder.

“Hey don’t just go waltzing on out of here, you didn’t answer my question.”

I began walking up the steps that were just outside the kitchen door. “Sorry, Granny, but I got some studying to do.”

“Studying? But school isn’t for another two weeks where are you going?”

“Sorry, what can’t hear you,” I said as I pulled my bedroom door shut. Turning the lock until I heard it click, I turned to face my computer. The monitor was turned on and all what was on it was Microsoft word. But what confused me was that I distinctly remember turning it off after I saved my progress, as I approached my pc I noticed something was wrong in the top left corner. “Oh, nonononononono, not good, not good at all!”

A small crack was left in my monitor. “Shit, how did this happen!?” With a sigh I sat down in my chair. “Ugh, it’s nothing major; it’s just a small crack.” I sighed looking up at my screen I noticed something typed on my screen.

Time to begin part two shall we?

Celestia laid alone in her bed at night like most days of the week, alone and Nopony to be with her. Comfort her and–

“Oh… Please, not you again…” Celestia groaned, “Just stop okay; I had enough of your shenanigans earlier. Just leave me alone and let me rest.”

Celestia sighed rolling over in bed she magically took one of her pillows and covered her head trying to drown out the voice. But it would not leave, how could it? How could something in her head magically disappear? Could it? Probably, but there’s no way to test that theory, one would ne–

“Shut up! Okay, just please I’m trying to sleep,” Celestia said angrily, she took a deep breath and buried her face deep into her pillow. She couldn’t remember the last time she was this angry with something she couldn’t see in fact. She doesn’t even remember being angry at something she couldn’t see, then again there was that one time she and Luna tried out those interesting plants in the gar–

“Don’t you bring that day back up! Lulu and I have vowed to never speak of that day ever again!”

Celestia covered her ears with her hooves and rolled over in bed, but knowing that there was no way to cease this voice that was narrating everything that she was doing and thinking she decided to ask. “What do you want from me?”

Celestia asked using her magic she lit a nearby candle and observed the room, when the voice didn’t reply she snorted. Celestia rose up from her bed…

“I’m not moving.”

Celestia realized that she needed to speak to Luna about something and she…

“I said, ‘I’m not moving.’”

Celestia-

“No.”

Ce–

“Do you really think I’m going to get up to do whatever you want me to do?”

“It would help if you did, yes.”

“Oh, so now you decide to speak to me.”

“Well when somebody–”

“Pony,” Celestia corrected, “Oh shut up!”

“When Somepony doesn’t want to cooperate with me yes I do speak to them.”

“If I cooperate will you leave me then?” Cel– “Please just stop with narrating at the moment.”

“God, fine I’ll stop. And yes, when I’m done telling the story I’ll leave you then.”

“Wait story, what do you mean by story?”

“I don’t know the ones you tell around fire places.”

“Well no need to be rude about it, fine what do you need me to do?”

“Well you’ll find out as the story goes.”

Celestia rolled over in bed the sense of having no other pony to spend this glorious night with made her feel lonely. “Actually I feel quiet fin–”

“Hey! Do you want me gone or not?”

“Ugh, fine.”

A knock came from Celestia’s door. “Tia, are you alright?”

Celestia got up from her bed and made her way over to the door, opening it she found a very concerned Luna. “Luna, what are you doing here?”

“One of my subjects came and told me that you were shouting angrily at somepony. Now where is this intruder?” Luna asked as she peeked over her sister’s shoulder.

Celestia smiled at the sight of her protective sister, the way her expression could go from heartwarming to straight protective mode warmed her on the inside. “I assure you, Luna, I’m alright. There’s nopony here, now please go back to attending to your duties.”

“Actually, Tia, I also came down here to speak to you about earlier.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow.“What are you talking about,”

Luna sighed, “Discord came to me telling me how you have some type of voice narrating everything you are doing.”

Celestia shook her head no. “No that is not true that’s just Discord being him old self trying to cause problems.”

Luna didn’t look convinced. “Then what was that all about earlier at court when you asked me did I hear a certain voice?”

Who knew a confused and worried Luna could seem so hot–

“What!?” Celestia shouted, “Are you saying I’m sexually aroused by my sister!?”

Luna recoiled back slowly she began to back away from her sister. “Tia, you’re starting to scare me now… Who are you talking to?”

“I’m sorry, Luna, it’s just that… Eh…”

Celestia couldn’t help herself but look at Luna’s flank, oh that nice luscious flank. What she would do to throw that on the side of a bud and fuck her brains out until she screams into the night. Celestia stood there stunned by what she was hearing, her face was beaming red and her pupils have shrunken to mere pin pricks. “I’m not having intercourse with my sister!”

“Do it!”

“No! That’s just wrong!”

“Do it you wimp!”

“No, and I am not a wimp!”

Luna ran out of Celestia’s room. “Guards! Guards!”

“Is something wrong, Princess?” Asked the Guard who was stationed at the other end of the hallway.

“Yes, I need you to go down into town and request for Doctor Arc.” The stallion nodded his head and after a brisk salute he ran off.

“I said, ‘do it!’”

“Now you’re just sounding like a young filly that can’t get her way.”

“Just think… alright… just for a second… Hear me out here…”

“Are you alright you sound a bit drowsy…?”

“I said, ‘think’”

“Well I can’t with you talking!”

“Alright, now what would Jesus do?”

“Who’s Jesus?”

“Now I think… Jesus would fuck yo–”

“Enough, that’s it I’m gone I’m not doing this...” Celestia said as she went back into her room, getting on her bed she blew out the candle and attempted to go to sleep.

“Fine! Be downer! I’ll go find someone else… Fucking tyrannical biiiitch…”

*Wham!*

Uhj yuymhjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjhj

The beer can resting on top of my monitor tipped over and bonked me on my head, startling me awake. Rubbing the side of my aching head which was screaming due my migraine, I picked my head up off my keyboard and glanced up at my blinding monitor.

“What,” I mumbled as I glared at the typed words on my Microsoft word page. “That’s it I’m always writing drunk now…” Clenching my gut I winced, “Okay maybe not,” I said as I quickly got and ran to the bathroom.

Author's Notes:

Okay now this is just getting absurd, but I won't stop! Until my fingers bleed... Maybe, just maybe... Just think my kitties what would Jesus do?

Oh one last thing, if you guys have any characters you want Jackson to narrate please feel free to post requests below.