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A View From the Beach

by Horse Bacon

Chapter 1: Quit Brown Nosin'


Quit Brown Nosin'

A View From the Beach

Surely, this trip to Casa Verde would be the most interesting vacation these ponies had ever taken. As the train pulled into the station, the warm bask and glow of Celestia’s sunlight hit all of the quadrupeds who shuffled off of it and towards the destination. Six ponies in particular were very glad to be here on the warm day of bountiful, cloudless sunlight.

In particular, a pink pony with bubbly hair even pinker than the rest of her hopped circles around her friends in joy as she sang.

I love to be Casa Verde

Where there’s lotsa Sunlight!

Cuz when I’m here in Casa Verde

There is lotsa fun light!

With all of my friends and me Pinkie!

While Pinkie’s thrill was vocal and proud, one of her friends, whose mane was so white it almost had its own sun glare. This horned pony with a purple mane and tail was known as Rarity, and though the Gem marked pony wanted nothing more than to enjoy improving her complexion in the wonderful sunlight.

The pink pony rounded about to be face first with Rarity, and stopped with a blissful smile, “isn’t this exciting Rarity?” she practically exploded from the excitement as she spoke.

Rarity smiled awkwardly as she replied, having been sitting next to the insufferably diabetes inducing baker for longer than she would’ve liked, “I… I’m sure,” she replied uncomfortably, not noticing her friend’s gigantic grin not leaving her face, “Pinkie Pie… um, if you’d be a dear,” she thought, darting her eyes back and forth, “you’re uh… standing in my sunlight?”

Pinkie tilted her head, still smiling, “no I’m not, silly! The sun is behind us,” she pointed her pink hoof. She was correct, and replied as such, “see?”

As she said that, the lavender pony amongst them laughed, “We should all remember to wear sunscreen, now that you bring up the sun,” she reminded her friends with an air of erudition as her horn glowed, “sunburn is bad after all.” As that happened, a bottle of the creamy concoction levitated before her.

An orange pony looked at the purple pony. Said earth pony’s flaxen hair would’ve glowed, if the hat she was now adjusting weren’t shading it out, “Twi,” she began, “have ya’ll even BEEN sun burnt?” her question was honest. Applejack was never one for deceit after all.

Twilight Sparkle, the unicorn in question, flustered, “well no,” she replied genuinely, “but I don’t really want my skin to...”

The cowpony interrupted, “Twi, Ah’ve had it! Ain’t fun! Just make sure ya’ll put on enough!”

Twilight nodded as her horn’s glow carried the bottle towards the back of her body as they trotted towards their destination. Most of them trotted, two of them decided their wings would be much more valuable. One, a cream colored Pegasus, spoke up, albeit, in a quiet tone, “Umm, I don’t think I’ll go in the water. There’re serpents in the water…”

“No way, Fluttershy!” commented a cyan Pegasus with a colorfully prismatic mane, “there’s nothing to fear but sharks…” she replied proud of her knowledge, “oh, and stingrays!”

As five pairs of pony eyes went upon her, Twilight asked almost impressed, “Rainbow, how did you…”

“Daring Do, book four!” she replied with pride, “Sea serpents are mostly used in boss rooms!”

Before anypony could question Rainbow’s fantastical reality, a smaller, stranger creature approached, “hey girls!” he smiled as he waved a clawed hand excited. An onlooker would have to wonder why a small dragon would be hanging out with a bunch of mares, but Spike didn’t care, his eyes just fell upon the beach and he smiled, “wow! It’s even better than the brochure!”

Pinkie chimed in as she jumped in front of Spike, “Last one to the shore eats a rotten egg!”

Spike almost called after her, but then he remembered something, “Wait! Do I like rotten eggs?”

As the ponies cantered towards the shoreline, their arrangements fell into place. Somehow, Pinkie Pie managed to create a sandcastle that looked almost like Canterlot… including its mountain range! Somehow, the other mares just decided to agree that Pinkie was just… Pinkie.

The resort area seemed to be right next to a lush, tropical landscape. To the bashful Fluttershy, this meant one thing, “would someone like to go with me to the jungle? I… I wanna see if I can find any animals!” she pleaded with a nervous smile.

“Nah!” came her reply from above. Rainbow Dash, basking upon a cloud in sunglasses seemed to dismiss the idea almost instantly.

“You’re right, Rainbow Dash!” Twilight replied slyly, “it’s not like Daring Do would ever go into a mysterious jungle, right?”

As she spoke, the cyan Pegasus perked up from her lounge cloud and peered over to listen further. Before Twilight even needed to further coax, Rainbow disappeared as colorful wake followed behind her.

Applejack laughed nervously, “Ah… Ah’ll go with ya’ll Fluttershy,” the apple pony reassured as she put her hand on her shoulder. To this, Fluttershy smiled as the trotted off into the lush and tropical foliage.


Pinkie almost seemed to shatter reality as she commented, “There goes their screen time!” she noted neutrally.

As that happened, Rarity lounged, a metallic reflector in her hooves as she drifted off, half asleep. Nearby, Spike looked on. Admiration in his eyes, and hearts practically flying out from his head, he barely even noticed Pinkie approach the two with an abrupt shout.

“Rarity!” Pinkie Pie began, startling the fashion designer into shrieking, “hey Rarity!”

“WHAT?!” she practically roared back.

Pinkie was of course unfazed by the anguished outburst as her smile widened, “Let’s go on a cruise ship! We’ll get to go out in the ocean and swim! It’ll be so exciting!” she rambled giddily, barely even stopping to breathe between words.

The more Rarity heard, the more incoherent it began to sound. Even still, the idea of a luxury cruise sounded only too fitting for a pony of her caliber. At the very least, replying would shut Pinkie up for a moment, “alright,” she replied simply and in a normal tone.

Pinkie cheered loudly as she leapt several feet into the air. As she landed back in the sand below, it flew out around her, splashing upon the nearby Spike and Rarity. As they glared at her, she giggled nervously, “Oops! Sorry!”


As the ponies and Spike agreed, a nice relaxing cruise would be just the thing to really let them embrace this fleeting vacation. As they boarded the boat, Pinkie cheerfully exposited on, “… and when we get deep enough, they’ll let us swim in the ocean! I get to make friends with fish!” She gasped, “Maybe we can meet a dolphin!”

As they watched the boat cut through the waves, Twilight replied, “That’d be unlikely, even if dolphins are said to be even smarter than us ponies!”

Spike waved his claw dismissively, “Puh-leez!” he scoffed, “I mean I know dragons are smarter than ponies… we can’t help it, but a fish! C’mon!”

As Twilight sighed, she explained to Spike how he was wrong, “Dolphins aren’t fish. They’re actually mammals, just like ponies!”

Spike raised an eyebrow curiously, “really? Still, can’t do much without legs, can they?”

As they continued their conversation about marine biology, the amplified voice of the captain blared about the ship, “attention passengers! We are at the swimming spot by the reef! If anypony wants to splash about the deeper waters, go now. We will remind you now that we return for the docks in 15 minutes. Thank you!”

At this, Pinkie Pie ran past them swiftly towards the deck, only turning back to her friends to say “Well, let’s go!” She grabbed a purple hoof and purple claw and pulled them along. Somehow, along the way, a protesting Rarity found her way onto the pink pony’s backside, “WHEEEEE!” she exclaimed as she jumped towards the briny water below!

“Great…” Rarity noted quietly, “this salty water will never come out!” she lamented before Pinkie Pie splashed at her, “Pinkie… please stop drawing upon some of my more… unladylike emotions.”

Pinkie could only look on confused, “Your what?” she asked before splashing her with even more force. This splash left behind green foliage upon the unicorn’s purple mane. To this, Rarity growled again, “uh, Rarity, are you okay?”

“Pinkie!” the unicorn growled, moving towards her in a state of blind rage. The pink pony’s judgment call was to swim away, to which Rarity screamed, “Get back here!”

The chase ensued for several minutes. Neither pony noticed the disappearance of the other swimmers. Not until the boat was somehow not where it once was, “Bye boat!” she waved one of her hooves at it, realization not setting in.

“You can’t,” Rarity began, panting between breaths, “talk your way out of this!” she sneered, trying to remain as elegant as marely possible, considering she wanted to rip the bubbly mane off of her irritating friend, “the boat’s leaving! That’s rich… that means…”

Pinkie somehow was back in front of Rarity, their faces inches apart, “isn’t this contrived? It’s like the world put you and me, bestest friends in some silly plot hole!”

Rarity however decided there was only one course of action: complete and total breakdown. As she sobbed openly, she let her hysterics do the talking, “my body is going to prune up! I’m going to starve, if I don’t dehydrate first! I’m going to be some ruffian shark’s dinner!”

“No, it’s way past dinner time, silly!” Pinkie Pie reminded her, “you would be dessert!”

Rarity stopped sobbing for a second and with great violent force, splashed Pinkie hard across the face, assaulting her with a wave of her hooves! “Well… if I’m stuck with you,” she sighed, “said shark had better hurry up!”

They floated there, waiting, Pinkie talking about random things that Rarity couldn’t care less about at this time. From food, to baking, to random song outbursts to planned pranks! Rarity just wanted something to happen. Somehow, the water here had no waves, and something smelled fishy, both literally and figuratively, despite the fact no fish had been swimming about them for a while now, “I wonder if anypony knows we’re gone… surely Twilight does...” she trailed as she talked to herself, “Spike! He always dotes on me!” she said, a bit louder.

Pinkie Pie picked up on this, “He does, doesn’t he?” she replied neutrally before smiling slyly, “How do you feel about that?”

Rarity was scared: Pinkie was saying something both semi-intelligent, and quite personal, “About what? You mean Twilight?” she tried, to no avail, “Spike is… well, I think…” she trailed unsurely, “he has… well…” she couldn’t hold it back “I think he has a crush on me!” Her eyes, nay, her face, was clenched tightly by the time the word crush came out of her mouth. Cautiously, she opened a single eye. Pinkie was laughing.

Before an imbalanced Rarity could explode into hysterics once more, Pinkie spoke, “I knew that! But how do YOU feel?” her blue eyes seemed to widen as she stared the unicorn down.

“Well, I…” Rarity brought her hoof to her mouth, thinking. The wafting scent of sea water brought her out of her funk, “I think it’s… cute?” she tried.

“Oh Rarity, it’s adorable!” Pinkie said with a squee, “Now why can’t you just loosen up and chat with your old pal Pinkie Pie?” she tried, hoping that Rarity would stop being so haughty.

“Well Pinkie, I guess… I just don’t understand you. At all!” The reply was blunt.

“Well,” Pinkie began thinking, “why don’t we try? We could be bestest friends, no?”

Rarity sighed, “maybe Pinkie Pie, but still… there’s a lot we don’t know about each other! I mean, we’re friends, but would we have been if Twilight never showed up?”

Pinkie sighed, finally showing some sign of reaction that wasn’t made of diabetes, “you’re probably right. Twilight’s pretty amazing, isn’t she?”

“She most definitely is,” as that was said, a splashing sound came up in the distance, and Rarity’s eyes widened in potential terror, “what was that?”

“Wasn’t me!” Pinkie shrugged, “Ooh look!” she pointed in the distance, “a fin! It’s grey!” Against the setting sun, the sight of the gray fin scared them both.

It slowly encroached upon them. Swiftly it shifted as though to encircle them. The two ladies could only shout one thing, as Pinkie seemed to jump into Rarity’s hooves. One panicked word came to mind “Shark!” And at that, they screamed, hysteria running rampant.

That was of course until the creature’s face appeared from under the water, “hey!” it sounded offended. The creature’s bottle shaped nose and mouth surely couldn’t bite at the pony. At the tip, said nose was a deep brown in color, “I take offense to that! I am a dolphin, ya know!” the voice sounded masculine from what the mares could here, “I don’t wanna eatcha!”

“Well that’s a relief,” sighed Rarity as she dropped Pinkie back into the water, “So uh, dolphin…”

“I got a name, ya know!”

“We do?” Pinkie asked, “Wait, no we don’t!”

“I’m Brown Nosa’” replied the brown nosed swimmer, “and I’ll get really made if ya ever call me a porpoise!”

“Uh…” Rarity began, “very well, Brown Noser! So, why were you circling us like some barbaric shark?”

“Barbaric? Well if catchin’ food’s barbaric. Whatevs… I was examinin’ you!” he replied, “I ain’t seen land ponies out here this late… ya stranded? Marooned? Abandoned?”

“We missed our boat,” replied Rarity honestly, “we got into an argument because Pinkie is so IRRITATING!” she strained for the emphasis as she spoke.

“Oh Rarity, you’re just upset. I’m sure the boat will come back soon anyways Mr. Noser!”

“Just calls me Brown,” requested the sea mammal, “as for the boat, I doubt it. I saw some anvil clouds roll towards the lagoon. They’re gonna make an isolated windstorm near da’ shoreline, but not far enough to affect us or the beach goers!”

“Well my friend Rainbow Dash is a weather pony,” Rarity countered, “I’m sure she’d be ever so willing to push every cloud away to rescue us!”

“You gotta be denser than dem anvil clouds. Them’s made like anvils. Not even a space whale could push dem babies!”

Pinkie Pie frowned. If looks could kill, Pinkie Pie could kill four walls at a time, her choice words would be even more lethal “Well… that sounds contrived!” she said somewhat quietly, as the other two ignored her

“So we’re doomed,” Rarity stated, no hint of doubt in her words.

“Not at all! I’m sure I could getcha something… yer a land pony, so ya don’t eat fish? Want some seaweed?”

“Seaweed?” Rarity asked incredulously.

“I’ll try some!” Pinkie said eagerly, dunking her head beneath the waves, coming up again with a large chunk of dark green plant, “salty!” she remarked.

“Sure is… look, the storm will probably pass in a few hours! Ya ain’t gonna starve or dry up in dat time!”

“Why are you helping us?” Rarity asked, “what do you get from this?”

“Nothin at all,” replied Brown Noser, “I just don’t like stressed out womens.”

“Your wife must love you dearly,” Rarity said as an aside.

The dolphin chuckled, “I ain’t married!”

“Girlfriend then?”

“Nope!”

“Ex-girlfriend?”

“Eh, they tend to become that ratha’ quickly,” he said, trying to drop the subject, “Say. I gots a question for you ponies.”

“What?” both asked at the same time.

“I’m not saying you do it yourselves,” the dolphin tried to reassure, “but why d’ya ponies seem to act like ya run this da planet?”

“What do ya mean?” Pinkie asked, not entirely sure what to make of all that was said.

“Well,” the dolphin continued, already feeling a scrutinizing stare, “land ponies, as well as dose sky ones, are da only creatures I know who thinks they run the sun! Most every sea creature else tinks that’s archaic.”

“Arc what?” Rarity asked.

“Archaic: ancient, Old, unnecessary, pointless!” he defined for them, “So, why?”

Rarity could only think of one answer to suffice, “because it’s true?”

Brown Noser peered into her eyes. How true she believed the words she just spoke could be seen in how focused her eyes seemed to be, “maybe you’re right,” he replied with a defeated sigh, “or maybe I’m right. Who knows! No dolphin’s ever been to da sun… or pony!”

“But Princess Celestia,” Rarity protested, “I’ve been to a sun festival!”

“Really?” the dolphin replied like a true skeptic, “you saw her actually life the sun herself! So what happens when it sets? There’s another half of the world?”

Rarity sighed, “I don’t know… I don’t think we’re supposed to know!”

“Dat’s just talkin’ like a sardine sissy!” he said, “but I guess I did say I’d drop it. So what do you’s ponies do on land?”

Pinkie found herself smiling widely, “I bake cakes and plan parties!” she replied with pure pride, before a realization hit her. With a gasp she spoke again, “wait a minute! You’re a new friend! We gotta get you to Ponyville and throw you a party!”

“No!” was Brown’s simple answer as he rose from the water. On his turquoise underbelly, the girls could only see a pair of flippers, “I would kinda… not live! I mean, I do breathes air and alls, but I need the water!”

Pinkie frowned, “well… what if I made you a cake when we get to shore?”

A tongue lapped its way around BN’s bottlenose, “could you use sardines?”

Pinkie tilted her head. Behind her, Rarity looked a bit queasy, “what’s a sardine?”

“It’s only my second favorite type’a fish!” he replied with a dreamy grin.

Pinkie Pie caught on quickly, “You eat fish! Why would anypony eat that?”

“Because I ain’t a pony?” Brown replied as though it were as obvious as night and day, not that the reality of night and day seemed apparent to these ponies either.

“So Brown,” Rarity said, swiftly trying to change the subject away from something as repulsive as the idea of eating flesh, “what do YOU do?”

“I’s a journalist!” he replied happily, “I only does honest journalism. No yella journalism… like those Sox News blubberers!” he trailed. If he could raise just one angry fist or hoof, he’d raise six!

“You’re a newsman?” Pinkie asked excitedly, “cool!” she gasped, “are we gonna get interviewed! Rarity! Helphelphelp! Find me something to wear so I look good for the camera!”

“Yikes,” Brown said, blinking rapidly as he watched the Pink pony begin to ramble. Somehow, she had gone from chatting about being camera shy to talking about a pineapple smoothie, to…

“and that’s why Equestria Deli has the best pickled hay bagels EVER!” Pinkie cheered, noticing the confused stares, “what were we talking about again?”

Brown sighed as he glimpsed over the horizon. Even though an hour or so had passed, the sun still hadn’t set, but he did notice one thing, “look at dem clouds! They’s leaving!”

The clouds shaped like anvils were, almost too swiftly, beginning to disperse as the way to the shore seemed to clear up.

“Well,” Rarity noted, “at least we didn’t run into any dreadful sharks!”

“Ya know, sharks don’t eats Sea Ponies. I doubt they’d eat yous two! Heck, even the world’s scummiest shark gone’d on record to hate the taste of sea pony. I mean, he’ll chew dem up and spit ‘em out, but he ain’t gonna outright devour them… in that way.”

“Who is…” Rarity wondered simply for curiosity sake.

“Oh, he’s da founda of Sox News, not dat I call it news. Da insanity dey says makes your crazy sun hypothesis almost sounds sane!” Brown chuckled, even though he meant every word.

“We don’t have any hippos!” Pinkie noted, “MOST of the things they say!” he corrected himself, “Hop on my back. I’ll getcha to da shore!”

Surely enough, as they did so, Pinkie’s hoof got caught in a small hole on the dolphin’s head. “What’s this thingie?”

“Hey!” he roared, panicking heavily, “I need dat to breathe!” he explained as the pony pulled as hard as she could to get her hoof out.

“Pinkie Pie…” Rarity cooed on the verge of yelling, “Please don’t suffocate our generous escape route!”

“I’m trying not to!” she pleaded “help me out!”

Brown pleaded heavily. Fortunately, he could still breathe somewhat by mouth, but the circulation was much, much more restrictive! As he yelled, his voice became strained, “This has to,” he paused to cough, before swiftly diving under for a chug of water! As he surfaced, he shut his eyes and pushed from within.

Pinkie’s hoof came flying out as a flurry of water escaped from the now freed blowhole. As he gasped, sputtered and wheezed, he looked back to the ponies, the natural grey color returning to his face, “your friends must be worried about you!”

Rarity sighed, “This wouldn’t be the first time we were abandoned by them by accident!”

“But we had so much fun! Oh yea! I decided to call it a Chim-Cherry-Chonga! I liked both names but…”

Rarity scampered onto the dolphin’s backside, “let’s move!” she demanded, “erm, can I grab this fin?”

“Eh?” Brown wondered, “Oh, sure! Here we goes!”

As they headed for the shoreline, Rarity reflected on her thoughts. She knew she would be writing a very interesting letter to Princess Celestia today. As she thought it over in her head, words came together:

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today on vacation, I didn’t learn anything in particular about friends per say, but I did learn that there are non-ponies, and ponies alike who view the world differently than us! I met a spectacular and intelligent dolphin: he eats meat, and thinks the planet actually goes around the sun. Despite his shortcomings, and rather uncouth way of speaking he’s a rather intelligent and gentlemanly fellow.

As such, I have learned to not be afraid of those with different ways of seeing the world, even if they do think it goes around the sun. After all, they may have hurdles to overcome, such as a lack of legs. You should never be too hard on strangers for their differences, and while I wasn’t really, I think this helps reaffirm this with me.

-Sincerely, Rarity

“Spike!” Rarity commanded, “Send it!”

“Rarity, silly!” Pinkie Pie noted, “We’re not at the shoreline yet, you were just thinking up an inner monologue.”

Rarity blushed as she returned to her mental letter: As an addendum, those who think differently than you may actually be half as annoying as those with similar beliefs. I can only hope all ponies, dolphins, dragons, and all smart creatures can understand this.

A day passed. Rarity and Pinkie’s safe return was good tidings. A certain blue Pegasus groaned in the hotel bed after a failed encounter with a sunscreen bottle earlier that day. Or rather, she once was blue, before being burnt to a crisp. “I shoulda brought Daring Do!” Rainbow Dash grumbled as she tried to avoid picking at the peeling skin on her wings, which somehow had skin to get burnt.

As Rarity stood before Spike, “Spike…” she began, “when we get back to Ponyville… I think we should talk!” Her tone seemed stern yet earnest

Spike nodded, “okay Rarity!” he seemed nervous, “so, let’s go eat!”

Rarity nodded “I can agree on that. We can try some gourmet! Oh tulip, redwood casserole!” she said, licking her lips.

“Me too! I want to try something new” Spike exclaimed, “Sardines!”

Rarity went even whiter, if it were even actually possible to visualize as she fell to the floor.

Spike had to wonder one thing. “was it something I said?” he shrugged. This vacation would certainly get interesting, “Aren’t sardines a plant?” He paused, “No? Oh well!”

Surely, this trip to Casa Verde would be the most interesting vacation these ponies had ever taken.

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