'Worhless....'

'Useless....'

'Idoit...'

'Die already...Your trash, Why did I have you...'

'Ugly...,pig, peice of shit, waste of space...'

He was right...he was always right. I had never really know why or how he was right, he just was. Me and my sisters never questioned his athority and my mother never went against him ever...We were young and stupid. We thought that crossing him ment the end of the world. I prooved us all wrong that one day...

I had the dream again, he loomed over me, I cried, I screamed, I begged...It wasn't the dream were I stopped him. I had those only when I felt confident. He won this round. He got what he wanted...My sisters were lucky...

I was happier though. Earlier I didn't wake up screaming, and every pony in Lions den didn't tell me I was whining like a bitch in me sleep. While Silver was giving her speech to us she gave me a look, the little smile. It made my skin crawl...it made me want her though...she could stop the pain and cause it. She was my goddess sometimes, i'd pray to her just to give me something. A touch...a kind gesture...love...It didn't make since. I hated this mare, she killed my closet...my only friends, and all I wanted to do was please her, make her happy. It has to be a trick...

Only subtly...

I guess it didn't matter, I loved Silver Streak as much as I hated her. And that was hot, so fucking hot...I wanted her to rip me to shreds, tear me in half...all I could think was how good it would feel...Dammit, I love you so much Silver...

She knows...

We had met in the courtyard not to long ago to discuss our plan. Not much of a plan but I knew what to do...its just...Fuck, I couldn't concentrate. I felt my mind burn, my thoughts would start going everywhere. All I could think about was her. All I want is her, all I ever want to feel is her. I had to get my mind off of things, maybe mending hoof could help...

I walked to her office, the guards stopped me before I could get to the door," Hold up Butter, You can't just walk in ya'know. You need an escort."

"Well escort me in you ass!" I stepped up closer to her.

"I'll brake your fucking nose Butter!" she shoved me back with her hoof.

"Hey, girls enough! Butter come in...hurry now," Mending Hoofs sweet voice flowed through my ears like syrup or something. I don't why, but this nurse always made me feel like I was defenseless and week, a filly but in a good way.

"Yeah, fuck off!" I yelled walking through the dumbasses.

"You can't come in here screaming like that Butter" Mending hoof scolded me as she shut the door.

"I...sorry Mrs. Mending Hoof..." I bowed my head. All I ever wanted was a mom like her...She would scold when I needed it, make me feel happy when I was down. Anything really...my mom never tried...not since...

"It's fine, just be careful. Those two outside are always looking for trouble. Pretty mares like you shouldn't be getting in fights." she nudge my cheek with her hoof.

"...Stop it...your embarrasing me...It's bullshit anyway..." I walked over to the hospital bed, it felt familiar as always. My hospital visit were common when it came to father...

Mending hoof walked over to the drawer and pulled out several needles and small bottles of clear stuff that looked like water.,"I know you think your...crap, but theres always someone who thinks your special..."

"What?" she stuck the needle in the small container and pulled the plunger back.

"I know you and Silver have had some strange things happen between you two. I mean your relationship is really unorthodox. What i'm trying to get at is that she thinks your special...even if you two hate each other..." The needle was presented in her mouth, she wrapped a heart rate monitor on my hoof. The veins appeared as I relaxed.

"I...I guess. Is it weird to love her. I mean thats not really my thing ya'know." The needle slid in my skin. The small sting felt good,"I never felt love before...not like that I guess..."

"Well...I love you Butter, and so does Dot..." Mending Hoof caressed my mane and kissed my forhead as I drifeted off. The drug always worked so fucking well...Dot?

"Dot...where...she's alive...?" Mending Hoof motioned me to be quiet. She pointed a hoof to the door in the far right of the room.

"Don't worry about it sweety, you two will talk later...just relax ok" Mending Hoof pulled the sheets up again as I went on a trip I wish would never end...

It seemed like my trips were getting shorter and less enjoyble as time went on. Ever since Silver Streak, I haven't been able to concentrate or get high. Damn, is this how love works. I can't even touch myself without thinking about the different ways she could fuck me. This isn't love...It can't be...Its better than nothing...

"Hey Butter...long time no see..." Dot appered on my left. Dammit if I wasn't touching myself i'd hug her.

"Go away!" I rolled over and began to rapidly rub myself, I wasn't about to stop, I was almost done...," I'm trying to cum you asshole!"

"Jeez...you haven't seen me since Silver killed our only friends and your worried about an orgasm..." Dot looked at me with a dissapointed look. So what, i'm horny dammit!

"If i'm not mistaken, all you wanted to do while you were here is have an orgasm Dot...in fact she couldn't do that until Silver came in here," I stopped rubbing myself as I heard her name...she was here, She didn't tell me...

"Hey, I was desperate, any pony could have got me off. Screw her!" Dot flushed. She flopped her head behind my and started to mumble," Who am I kidding...no one does it like she does"

"I'm beggining to think its not how she does it...It just her..." Mending hoof blushed. I found it hard not to do the same...It felt like Silver had infected us and we were ashamed...but it was ok, because she would make it all better...

"Yeah...is it...love?" I asked Mending Hoof, she shook her head.

"It doesn't feel like that. It feels like lust, but she's so sincere about it. I love her though...and I love you both, so maybe thats just what it is...I can say and have no doubts about it..." Mending hoof looked down at her hoofs," I left my husband and the kids, I couldn't stand them seeing me like that...head over hills for a mare I barely know..."

"You...think about her too..." I asked her, my eyes serching hers

Mending hoof smiled and said," All the time,"

"Me too..." Dot said softly behind me.

"Wow..." Silver...is a pimp. Thats all I can compare her to. Whats she up to...?

"Hey butter...I still hate her, but I want to see her sometime. Mending hoof said I still can't go out, but if Silver promise to behave that I could see her. Could you...ask her for me..." Dot starred at me with those stupid green eyes.

"Sure...fine, just don't-" Before I could demand sh not toch me, Dot jumped on me and hugged me tightly," You ass!"

"I missed you Butter...I know that you don't like me much but..."

"Shut up...I don't like you at all. I love you though...in fact I love you like a sister. Thank Silver for that..." I got away from the crazy mare and trotted to the door," Mending Hoof...thank you"

"Your welcome sweetie..." She watched me as I exited and shut the door.

As I exited the office a lavender earth pony with white face paint was waiting on me," Your Butter Scotch..."

"Yeah, and who the fuck are you...?" I stepped closer to the mare but she backed away, pussy.

"Malorie wants to know...she said not to hurt you but I will if that makes it easier..." The lavender mare eyed me and smirked,"...besides, your just Silvers fuck toy anyway..."

"...Your'er just mad you not getting any ya fuck face..." I backed away and calmed down," Fine, since she's too scared to face me herself i'll see what the cunt wants"

"Shut your fucking mouth! You talk tough but your just hot air, save it for you master..." The lavender mare stated to walk off,"Now don't fall behind or i'll break your legs!"

...This bitch...she reminded me of how my father use to threaten me. I followed her and stayed silent untile we got to Malories cell block. The place had been locked down for so long I had forgot it still existed. The cell was dirty and the guards seem to only patrol the outside now. In side the place looked like a small village. It was incredble cold, barrels with fire purting from them were everywhere. There were all kinds of mares here, some had face paint like the one escorting me and the others were part of the gangs here in the cells. Malorie was looking different, a scar was across her neck. She had a giant fur coat over here suit. This orange bitch really knows how to suffer in style.

"Well well, it my favorite mare. She taste like butter scocth and smells like buttered crotch hahah! Ah come on take a joke..."

"What is it that you wan't...?" I stepped away from the lavender mare.

"...Look, I know you don't like me...but I didn't kill your friends now did I...?"

"No...you almost killed me though..."

"Wrong place wrong time...everyone was guilty Butter you understand, I couldn't take the chance..." Malorie satrred at me and finally got the hint that I wasn't interested," Ok...step into my office, come on I don't bite hahah...!"

We stepped inside her office, it had changed since the last time I did business. She took off her fur coat and sat me down," So...what is it that will get you thinking huh? Want some coupons, weapons, smokes....Ah I know. I know you Butter, you want mares right...I got a good selection this year. Healty, sturdy, willing to do anything for a little food haha...No?"

"No...i'm not looking to sell out..."

"No? She killed your friends...I bet you didn't find out Dot was alive until today huh?"

"You knew...!?"

"Hey...I found out you knew today...When I got the info I was fighting against rival gangs and guards. Shit Butter, when I found out your the one that saved her from my assassin...That cuts deep Butter..."

"Sorry to dissapoint, but i'm with her..."

"Anything Butter, come on..you could get close...kill her, I could use the extra muscle anyway...anything, you name it."

I was a little curious at how I could milk this...hahah shit this is great. I smirked." How about a mare..."

"Sweat you wont regret this Butter!"

"You..."

"Me...i'm not up for grabs chick..."

"Then no deal..."

"Hah come on Butter, this isn't funny"

"You want me to kill her, fine, get over here and show me what you'll do to get it done!"

"Damn...thats why I always liked you Butter...ok fine..." Malorie came over to me and faced me as she turned my chair to face her," Look, if I do this..."

"If I like what you give me, i'll consider it..."

"Consider!"

"Gamble a little Malorie, jeez!"

"Ok....shit..." she started for my pussy, I didn't want that, not her...

"No, kiss me...I want you to kiss me and make me cum..." I wanted to see if she could be as good as Silver...if she could, maybe she was just good at what she does...

"Kiss you...Fuck me...fine fine," Maloie started to kiss me, she was rushing it. But I tried to enjoy it. I stopped her, this isn't right...

"No, do it like you fucking mean it!"

"Haha damn Butter, ok, i'll do it this time..." Malorie put more...feeling into it. We moaned together. It felt...good...but. I felt her tongue slide in my mouth, it wasn't the same though. She was in to it more than I was at this point," What the hell...Butter, I thought this is what you wanted. Come on i'm actually having fun..."

"I can't Malorie...This is hot, I mean damn i've always wanted to fuck a mare in a suit...but..." Malorie looked at me, a sad smile across her face.

"Really...you can't get over that bitch. I'll let you walk out of here alive Butter...but once I start to march my mares out there, your fare game."

"Fair enough...sorry about all that..." Shit Butter...get it together.

Malorie kissed me on the lips again," I like you Butter, your demanding. I hate that thats startig to fade as you get closer to Silver, but if you change your mind you can have all you want here. And if your a good mare, i'll let you have a little more of this mare in a suit..."

"We'll see...," Malorie went back over to her seat and smiled,"...You don't need me to kill Silver..."

"No...I don't"

"So why would you even ask me to?"

"It'd be ironic, a loose end she didn't tie up. She thinks she can control you, but you kill her, your no ponies pet," Malorie smiled with all her teeth showing.

"And do you really think she can give you more than I cam..." Malorie licke her lips," I'm not bad in bed either you know."

"...I guess you have a point..." I got up from the chair," I need time to think...thanks and all..."

"Soon...we'll be thanking each other a lot more I hope..." Malorie chucled behind me as I went ou the door.

I couldn't really decide if I should leave Silver for Malorie...Its not that Malories rivals Silver in the whoe sex department. Silver killed my friends, but Malorie didn't love me. Silver might have fucked me over but she was the only mare I've every met that actually means what she says. I have no way of knowing for sure, but I just have this feeling that I can...trust her. Fuck...I didn't find out shit about the mares that helped to try and kill Silver...I just have a harder decision to make now...

You love her...you can't find that in any pony else...