As Blueblood paces throughout his room, his mind begins to wander. Questions he thought he’d never be asking begin to fill his head.

What if Auntie Celestia does indeed love this creature?

What if this is all a misunderstanding on my part?

How do they securely place a cap on a soft drink bottle after they’ve filled it up, yet it cracks when you first open it?

“Sire, are you ready?” Blueblood’s train of thought soon disappears as his servant enters the room.

“Almost, Wilson. I need to prepare my disguise.” Grabbing the dress and makeup from his wardrobe, Blueblood makes sure to carefully lay them on his bed. Wilson’s eyes dart between the getup and his master, a look of surprise on his face.

“What?” Blueblood snaps, angry from his servant’s response.

“Nothing, sire. I just noticed... it was the same dress from yesterday.”

“So? I’ve been getting it ready in the event that I needed to go undercover. What else would I have it for?”

Wilson’s head cocks back, clearly taken aback by the response. “Nothing, sire. I figured you had it for that reason.” Blueblood takes a moment to glare at Wilson, making sure he isn’t getting any funny ideas. Without a second thought, he grabs the dress and makes his way for the tall mirror in his room.

“Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready as well, Wilson? I can’t have you going in your usual attire or Auntie Celestia might catch wind of our plan.” Wilson shakes his head, remembering why he had gone into Blueblood’s room in the first place.

“Well, yes, but there’s something I have to tell you.” Blueblood’s narrow eyes lay on Wilson from the mirror as he awaits the news. “The rumor of Celestia’s planned marriage proposal has spread throughout the castle. Certain… individuals have caught wind of it.”

Blueblood lifts a mascara brush up to his eyelashes, making sure to apply them carefully. “And these individuals are...?”

“Previous courters.” Blueblood jabs the brush in his eye out of shock and begins howling from the pain.

“Auntie Celestia’s ex-boyfriends?!” Wilson nods as he withholds a giggle from his master’s suffering. “And what do they plan to do?”

“I would expect they are planning the same thing as us. To sabotage the date.” At this point, Blueblood has forgotten about the pain surging throughout his eye. How dare those stallions think they can tread on his grounds! The only pony to stop this wedding would be the prince himself, not some hasbeen peasant!

“Change of plans, Wilson.” Blueblood applies some blush to his cheeks, making sure to evenly distribute them. “We must prevent these cretins from stopping the proposal. Then we will make our move once they are out of the picture. Now go and get dressed. Wilma will be hitting the streets with her girlfriend Bluebelle.”

A light flurry follows the calm wind as you make your way toward the castle grounds. Combined with the night sky you expect from Luna, this moon rising was going to beautiful. At least you didn’t forget to bring your jacket today. It’s going to be a big night and you don’t want to get sick, after all. Grabbing the scroll from inside your pocket, you read it over again.

Anonymous,

You are hereby cordially invited to attend the Winter Solstice Festival held on the Canterlot Castle Gardens to watch the rising of the longest night of the year. This invitation grants you full access to the grounds.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia and Princess Luna

P.S. I wish to attend the festivities with you personally. Pick me up at the castle entrance at three. Don’t be late! ♥

Checking your watch, you notice it’s already ten before three. So far, so good. As you approach the gated area, two guards hold their spears in place as they check the invitations of the guests as they approach.

“Oh, this day is going to be perfect!”

A familiar voice catches you off guard, making you scan the area. As you turn around, you meet with a certain… “mare”. Her cerulean mane and pre-game breath are a dead give away.

“Hey, Wilma. Long time no see.” You look over at her accompanying guest. The air from the other mare just gives you a bad vibe. Something about her smug look gives her an uppity personality. Her mane is very long, the blond strands shine from the overhead sun. “And who’s your friend?”

“Oh, this is Blueblo—” The mare jabs Wilma in the side, cutting her off. “Ahem, excuse me. This is Bluebelle. Bluebelle, this is Anonymous.” Bluebelle extends her hoof out, which you, in turn, shake. A look of disgust plasters over her face as she retracts her hoof and wipes it on her dress.

“It’s… nice to meet you, Anonymous.” The way she forces the word “nice” concerns you. You can’t tell if she’s constipated or sick, but you can’t help but feel concerned, yet confused at the same time. Something about this mare is off…

“So are you here to celebrate Winter Solstice with the princess?” Wilma grins, ripping your attention from Bluebelle.

“Yes, actually. I was going to invite Celestia myself, but it looks like she beat me to the punch,” you state, showing her the scroll. A smile etches onto her face as she reads over the little note on the invitation.

“You’re a lucky stallion to have a mare like Princess Celestia.”

“You can say that again,” you say with a nod.

“Papers, please.”

You nearly jump out of your skin as the guard asks for your invitation. Handing him the scroll and your ID, you wait as he peers over then. His gaze shifts from you to the papers multiple times, scanning every bit of information.

“Sir, can you step aside, please. We just want to check something.” You can help but tilt your head in confusion, but you comply nonetheless. One guard comes from behind the gate and scans his horn over you.

“He’s clear.”

Grabbing your invitation, you enter the castle grounds and look back at the stallion, still wondering what that was all about.

“Anon!” You fall over as something tackles into you, wrapping its forelegs around you. Looking down at your torso, you notice Celestia encasing you in a tight hug. “I’m so glad you were able to make it!”

“I’m happy to be here too, Celly, but do you mind letting me stand up?” Celestia, only realizing it now, lets go of you. You wipe the dust from your pants and jacket before leaning over to give Celestia a peck on lips. She blushes at the gesture, turning her head away in a shy manner.

“Well, now that you’re here, want to head down to the festival and start having some fun?” Celestia asks.

With a nod and a skip in your step, you follow the mare towards the crowded festival grounds. Celestia seems much more playful than normal as she hops around excitedly and, to be honest, it’s quite adorable. Every time you took her out on a date, it was either casual or formal. Seeing her in this new light is quite an experience and you can’t help but follow her example.

“Anon, how about some games to kick off the festival?” Celestia asks with a chipper smile.

“Good idea. Which one should start with?”

Celestia points to one of the stalls with her hoof. “How about that one?” Standing behind the clerk is a platform containing a series of bottles stacked on top of each other. A sign hangs overhead, reading “one bit for three balls”.

“Aw! That teddy bear is adorable,” Celestia coos, looking at the stuffed animal.

Placing a bit on the counter, you crack a confident grin.

“Three balls please.”

“Papers, please.”

Blueblood hands over his invitation and ID card. The guard’s brow furrows as he looks over the ID, then back to Blueblood.

“Ma’am? Where did you fin—”

“It’s me, you nimrod.”

The stallion’s jaw drops as Blueblood’s voice courses his ears. For a moment, he can’t help but stare. “Sir, what… what are you doing?” Leaning in on the stallion, Blueblood lowers his voice down to a whisper.

“I’m on a secret mission. I must conceal myself and blend into the crowd. You mustn’t breathe a word of this to anypony.”

The guard stands there nodding his head, baffled and utterly confused, . “As you wish, sir. I assume that your guest is Wilson as well?” Blueblood nods as Wilson covers his face from the embarrassment. The guard moves aside to allow the two stallions, trying his hardest not to burst out laughing.

“Sire, was it really necessary to have me dress up as a mare? I could have used my shopkeeper disguise aga—”

Blueblood throws Wilson a glare so hot, it could heat the chilly air around them. Wilson stops speaking as Blueblood’s eyes lock onto their target: Anonymous. As the human walks over to a game stand, Wilson catches something. An older stallion runs out from behind the stand, carrying a bottle of paste in his mouth before jumping into the bushes on the side of the stall.

“Isn’t that Filthy Rich?” Wilson notes, pointing at the stallion. Blueblood switches targets, a fierce glower across his face. Stomping his hoof down in anger, Blueblood starts toward the stallion only to feel a tug on his skirt. He turns around to find Wilson holding him back.

“We mustn’t make a scene, sire. If we do, the princess will suspect something and our disguise will be useless.” The real reason Wilson doesn’t want to attract attention would be the fact that he’s a stallion in a mare’s outfit, and it’d be the last thing he’d want out in the open. Blueblood stops and thinks about it for a moment. Wilson does bring up a good point. Maybe he could have some fun instead.

“Wilson, I need you to take care of the bottles. I’ll make sure to distract those two as you do.” A sinister smile curls onto the stallion’s lips as he trots toward Anon and Celestia. “Oh, Anon~!” Anonymous, holding his three throws in hand, looks over to the “mare” in confusion.

“Oh, hi, Bluebelle. Need something?” Blueblood grabs one of the balls with his magical grip and gives Anon one of his best eye flutters. His gaze quickly changes as Celestia looks over at him, clearly confused by the sudden intrusion on her date by this familiar face. The last thing Blueblood needed was Celestia finding out who he truly was.

“Do you mind if I take a shot? I’ll be sure to make it up to you at a later game.”

“Alright, I guess,” Anon says with a shrug. Winding up his shot, Blueblood rears the ball back, looking directly at the pile of bottles. But it’s not Blueblood’s intention to hit the bottles. With as much force as he can muster, Blueblood tosses the ball directly at the bushes. A large thud echos out, followed by a grunt of pain.

“Oopsies!” Blueblood says with a chuckle. “I’m so bad at throwing. Sorry to waste your shot!” Out of the corner of his eyes, Blueblood watches as Wilson grabs the tray of glued bottles and replaces them with a stack of regular bottles. “Well, you might as well go, Anon.”

Anon grabs one of the balls, his eyes locked onto the bottles ahead of him. Lifting his leg up, Anon leans forward and releases his throw. The ball accelerates forward, narrowly missing the bottles. Grabbing his last ball, Anon puts on a look of determination as he readies himself for his next throw. Blueblood catches a glimpse of Celestia, her horn shining a bit. As Anon throws the ball, he falls over, his ball heading straight for the bottles. All three bottles fall over with little effort.

“Winner!” The clerk beckons Anon and Celestia over as Wilson rushes back to Blueblood. Grabbing the teddy bear, Anon hands it over to the princess who giggles like a filly. As Blueblood lets out a sigh of relief, a stallion throws his hoof over Blueblood’s shoulder.

“Hey, beautiful. Where’s your date? I can’t imagine a gorgeous girl like yourself is here by herself!” Blueblood gives the stallion a deadpan stare. Wilson’s eyes widen as he backs away from the two. “My name is Lucky Charm. What’s yours?”

Without uttering a single word, Blueblood jabs a hoof into the stallion’s muzzle, knocking him over. “Come, Wilma. We must continue our endeavor.” Wilson nods without hesitation, making sure to follow his master’s order. Lucky recovers after a moment of laying on the ground and rubs his jaw.

“I like ‘em feisty,” he mutters to himself as he watches the two mares make their way down the street, keeping their distance from their intended targets.

“So, how do you know that mare? Bluebelle, I mean,” Celestia questions, throwing you a playful glare.

“She was with Wilma when I was in line for the checkpoint,” you reply. Celestia’s brow furrows at the sound of that name. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh, just curious is all.” Celestia trots ahead of you, her tentative eyes peering at all the stalls and stands. “I’m feeling a little bit hungry. Shall we get something to eat?”

“Sure.” Following the mare, you look around at the random food stands, enjoying the smell of fresh carnival foods. Hay fries, funnel cakes, apple fritters; your mouth begins to water. A familiar scent courses your nose. Something you haven’t had in the years since you’ve arrived to Equestria.

“Fresh corndogs! Get some fresh corndogs right here!” The caller beckons you over with a hasty hoof, drawing you in. His smile is nothing short of extravagant as you approach the stand. “Ah, a character with refined tastes. And with a rather important lady friend,” he adds as Celestia takes your side.

Looking over the counter, you can’t help but drool a bit. It’s been so long since you’ve had a good corndog. “Are those made with… you know?” The stallion puts on a cheshire cat grin before shaking his head.

“No, no, good sir. It’s a corndog, made from deep fried corn cobs in a bap.” You can’t help but feel someone disappointed. It was too good be true...

“Two, if you would so kindly,” Celestia says, placing two bits on the counter. The standee pulls two corndogs from the rotisserie, places them onto a napkin, and gives them to you. Even if it isn’t made with meat, you can still enjoy a corndog, right?

“I think that’s the mayor of Manehatten, sire.”

Squinting his eyes, Blueblood looks across the alley at the corndog stand Anon has started toward. Sure enough, Mayor Bloom Berg stands there with his signature grin behind the counter. If it weren’t for that cheeky smirk, it would be pretty hard to tell if was him with that disguise. Had he not waited for the couple to turn around, Celestia would have definitely noticed.

Blueblood takes a quick look around, trying to figure something out. If the mayor was serving them something, it had to be tainted. Throwing two bits on the counter next to him, Blueblood grabs two pretzels from the clerk and gallops toward the couple, Wilson following not too far behind. At this rate, Blueblood isn’t going to make it in time. Anon’s mouth is getting closer to the corndog by the second. Tilting his head back, Blueblood throws the pretzel into the air, aiming directly for Anon’s mouth.

Or, so Blueblood thought. Off by a couple of inches, the pretzel flies into Anon’s eye, sending chunks of thick salt into his pupils. It takes a second for Anon to realize it, but once the pain settles in, he begins to scream in agony. Wilson and Blueblood quickly jump behind a different stall, making sure to stay out of sight.. The corndog falls to the ground, bursting open and revealing the contents within.

Inside are not bits of corn. Quite the contrary; they’re bits of something neon green within the bap. As they land on the ground, they sizzle and sink through the ground, dissolving the concrete below them. Wilson covers his mouth in horror as Celestia takes notice to the evil fried good. Turning around to confront the stall owner, she recoils in surprise to see he’s no longer there.

“Guards!” Celestia bellows, summoning two pegasi guards land before her. Anon takes a water bottle and flushes out his eye as Celestia commands the two to find the culprit. One guard looks over to the other uneasily as he watches the green chucks sink further down.

“Your majesty, it might be best if we head to the castle. We can’t have you in danger.”

Celestia lets out a very annoyed snort, catching the guard by surprise. “This date is very important to me. I will be fine on my own.” She looks down at Anonymous who has finished cleaning out his eyes. “I’ll will try my best to keep an eye on his well-being as well. In the meantime, I want you to find the culprit behind this and have him taken in for investigation.”

The guard, reluctant at first, nods and takes to the sky. Blueblood and Wilson breathe a sigh of relief as they take a seat down on the ground. Blueblood, remembering that he just sat in the dirt, gets up and begins freaking out. Wilson shakes his head and resumes his watch over the couple.

You can’t help but rub your eye once more. Sea salt hurts, especially when a piece gets stuck under your eyelid. Celestia grabs your hand with her magical aura and pulls it away from your face.

“Anon, you’re going to make it worse if you keep picking at it.” Your eye begins to twitch, taunting you to scratch it again.

“I know! I just can’t help it!” You attempt to fight her grip in an effort to scratch your eye once more with no prevail. Defeated, you let try your best ignore it. Looking at the one of the park clocks, you check the time.

3:49 p.m.

The sun was going to set soon. According to the flyer, Luna planned to raise the moon at four, so it’s best to get to the ferris wheel ride. Turning to Celestia, you ready yourself to ask the question.

“H-Hey, Celly?” you stutter. Celestia turns to you, a hint of curiosity in her eyes. “I was j-just wondering…” You can’t help but stammer. What you’re about to do could change your life forever. And that’s only if she says “yes”! Swallowing your fear, you point up at the giant ferris wheel. “W-W-Want to go on the… the… ferris wheel?”

Celestia withholds a chuckle by putting her hoof to her mouth. Your palms are so sweaty, Eminem doesn’t have a thing on you. With a single nod of the head, Celestia heads towards the ride, still holding onto your hand with her magic. Step one was complete, but the biggest part was sure to come.

“Oh! Hello again, Anon!” Turning around, you look down to find none other than Bluebelle and Wilma, both behind you in line. “Are you going for a ride as well?”

“Yeah. I’m taking Celly for a ride.” You stop for a moment and think about what you just said. “I mean… She’s going to ride… on the ride… with me.” Wilma and Celestia break into a fit of giggles, but Bluebelle doesn’t seem the least bit amused. She beckons you with her hoof, trying to get you down to her level. As you lean forward, she drops her voice down to a whisper.

“If you so much as hurt a hair… or mist… or whatever that thing is on her head, I will rain down a fury of hatred like you’ve never seen before!”

That voice. It seems so familiar. And that glare. The hatred in those eyes. Only now do you notice it. How could you be so naive!

“Blueblo—!” Your lips unexpectedly close, only allowing muffled cries to come from your mouth. A faint glow surrounds the “mare’s” horn before she pushes you onto your cart.

“Enjoy your ride!” she says with a sinister grin. No matter how hard you try, you can’t open your mouth. It takes a moment to realize it, but you have a bigger problem.

How are you supposed to propose without talking?

Author's Notes:

"On a scale of one to American, how free are you tonight?"

I HAVE LEARNED THE EASIEST WAY TO PICK UP WOMEN. NOW IF ONLY THEY DIDN'T WEIGH SO MUCH!