Looking up at the clock, you nervously check the time. It’s already four thirty: thirty minutes left until dinner. Staring into the mirror, you check yourself once more. Everything seems fine. Dress shirt tucked in, suit jacket button properly, underwear on the outsid—

“Darn it,” you mutter under your breath. Grabbing the pair of tidy-whities, you pull them down and lift your leg up to remove them. The elastic catches the tip of your shoe, causing you to lose balance as you attempt to retract it. Falling on your butt, you let out an annoyed sigh and take off the undies and throw them into the clothes hamper in your closet.

You can’t help it. You’re just so nervous. If what Twilight said about Blueblood was true, than this guy was going to be judging your every move, your every twitch. The last thing you want is to do is mess this night up. Grabbing a handkerchief, you place it in your jacket pocket and make your way downstairs to the foyer.

Might as well head to the castle and pick up Celly, you think to yourself. Closing the door behind you, you begin your venture to the Canterlot castle, enjoying the strange stares from passersby ponies. It’s not every day you get to wear a fancy suit and strut down the street.

“Hello, Anon!” a voice rings out in the street, stopping you. Down the road, Celestia trots towards you with a stark smile, accompanied by two royal guards. Waving to the mare, you meet up with her and give her a grin. The little bow on her head is a nice touch to her elegant red dress.

“Evening Celly.” You bend slightly to kiss her on the cheek. She blushes as she returns the gesture. “I was just on my way to pick you up.”

“I figured I could make your life a little easier by meeting you halfway.” There seems to be a sense of sarcasm in her voice, but you can’t tell why she’d be sarcastic. Shrugging it off, you follow her and her guards towards the small restaurant labeled “Chez de le Cheval”. A large line wraps around the building; this place must be really popular. As you approach the entrance, Celestia steps forward and nods to the host.

“Good evening. We’re have reservations under ‘Blueblood’.” The host smiles, shaking his head.

“As if Her Majesty needs reservation to dine here,” he says in a thick accent. “But we are most grateful that you would think ahead to prevent other ponies from being knocked out of their seats. I shall take you to your table.”

Entering the building, you immediately begin hating the place. Ponies at their tables glance at you from the corner of their eyes, judgmental looks plastered across their faces. Along with the fancy table settings, red carpeting, expensive chandeliers, and small portions of food, you can’t help but feel out of place. The host guides you and Celestia to a staircase, guarded by two large stallions in sunglasses and tuxedos. With a head flick from the host, the two stallions move aside and allow you all to head up stairs.

It leads to a large balcony that overlooks the main dining room, a single table sitting in the middle. The two royal guards follow you and Celestia up the staircase and stand on opposite sides of the door. Grabbing Celestia’s chair, you pull it out to seat her like the gentleman you are.

“Thank you,” she coos, sitting down on the seat. Somehow you didn’t mess tha—

Spoke too soon. Your foot catches the corner of the a tablecloth, causing you to lose balance. Catapulting forward, you stop in mid-air, your face mere inches from the floor. Something lifts you back up back on your feet and even dusts off your jacket. Celestia’s horn glows with a light gold aura, a smile pursing her lips.

“Thanks,” you mutter as you take your seat. Celestia merely nods as you look around the balcony. “Is your nephew here yet?” Celestia shakes her head.

“He’s known to be fashionably late,” she says in an annoyed tone. She holds her tongue for a moment to take a look at you. “This is the first time I’ve actually seen you in a suit. I must say, it’s a good look for you.”

“Y-you too,” you mutter. Darn it, that’s the second time you’ve gone and said that! Celestia chuckles as you awkwardly scratch the back of your head. Glancing off the balcony, you notice two ponies that stick out like sore thumbs. A stallion with long blonde hair trots down the red carpet, sporting a rather expensive looking white suit. This has got to be Blueblood; just the air around him screams “stuck up”.

“Is that your nephew?” you ask Celestia. She looks over the guardrail and nods.

“Yes, that is. But, I wonder who his date is?” Following Blueblood is what appears to be a mare, but something is off. “She” looks more like a “he.” And her cerulean mane seems oddly familiar as well.

"...Celestia, is your nephew gay?"

"Well, that would explain why he treated Rarity so callously..."

Blueblood makes his way up the staircase, a cheesy smile protruding from his face. “Auntie! Such a wonderful evening to see you!”

“We live in the same castle and see each other everyday,” Celestia says under her breath. Blueblood turns to you, his happy expression almost immediately disappearing.

“And you must be Anon.” As you stand up and extend your hand out for a shake, he looks at it in utter disgust. “Yes, well, let’s order, shall we?” He takes his seat without even grabbing your hand. This double date is off to great start.

“Ahem!” The mare—or stallion—clears her throat, trying to grab Blueblood’s attention. “Are you going to introduce me?” Her voice sounds high-pitched, but almost as if it’s being forced. Blueblood shoots her a hot glare, gritting his teeth. The mare, not showing the slightest bit of fear, taps her hoof impatiently on floor. “I did not get all dressed up and pretty for nothing!”

Blueblood’s eyelid begins to twitch as he turns back to you, forcing a smile. “Everypony, this is Wilma.” The ‘mare’ bows before you and Celestia and then takes her seat along with Blueblood. Grabbing a menu, you crack it open and begin surveying the options available. Your jaw nearly drops: the prices are ridiculous! They even charge you fifteen bits for a glass of water! You gulp as you reach for your coin purse in your pocket, checking to see if you’ll have enough money.

“Don’t worry about it, Anon,” Celestia whispers, “Blueblood already told me that he was paying.” Relieved, you put the sack back into your pocket and scan the menu once more. Just as you decide what you want, the waiter comes to your table.

“Good evening. My name is Jacque and I will be your waiter tonight. What will you all be ordering tonight?” he asks, eyeing you first.

“Spaghetti and veggieballs in tomato sauce with a glass of water, please.” The waiter furrows his brow, pointing at the menu with his hoof.

“Monsieur, you do realize that is a foal’s meal, non?” Shrugging, you nod your head. Everything in the menu is in too fancy and, to be frank, doesn’t look all that appealing. Jacque shakes his head and writes the request and goes around the table.

“I will have a piece of red velvet cake and a glass of soy milk, please,” Celestia says with a chipper smile.

“A garden salad and an appletini, easy on the vermouth and heavy on the apple cider,” Wilma requests. You withhold a snicker at the girly drink as Blueblood rolls his eyes.

“I’ll take the Butternut Squash and Pear Ravioli with Rosemary Sauce and a side of bleu cheese.” The waiter nods before bowing and taking off towards the staircase. Celestia clears her throat, eyeing Wilma.

“I have to take care of some business in the little filly’s room. Wilma, come along, will you?” Wilma’s eyes widen as she looks around the room, trying to think of something.

“I-I… um, I don’t… nee—”

“Wilma, go with her,” Blueblood snaps.

Celestia grabs her by her collar using her magic and drags the now terrified looking Wilma to the staircase, leaving you alone with Blueblood. He stares at his hooves, inspecting every inch. Maybe it would be best if you break the ice.

“So, Wilma seems like a nice… girl.” Why did you have to pause on girl?! Blueblood looks up from his hoof with a sinister glare. You can’t help but feel the tension in the air as his eyes dig deeper into your very soul. But, you can’t look away.

“So you want her as well?” You tilt your head like a confused dog.

“What?”

Don’t play stupid with me, ape.” That was uncalled for. “I know what your plan is.” He leans across the table, dragging you over it as well with his magic. “Don’t think for a second I’m not onto you.” Shaking your head, you stare at him in bewilderment.

“What?”

Blueblood scoffs, growing angrier by the second. “You’re only dating my aunt because you want to become king!” His magical grip loosens, dropping you onto the table. Dropping down from the table, you stand up, shaking your head.

“Do you not know how your own system works?” Blueblood’s head tilts back in confusion.

“O-of course I do!” he replies, his eyes not meeting yours. This one’s a very bad liar.

“Then you would know that I would not become a king since I don’t have a drop of royal blood. A man who marries a princess cannot become king unless he is part of a royal family.” Sitting back in your seat, you crack a grin. “I’m just some peasant, if you will.”

Blueblood’s face screams uncertainty. He look back and forth between you and the staircase, as if someone had just murdered his mother. His face changes from a confused expression to an angry one at the snap of a finger.

“Then what reason do you have for dating my aunt?” Crossing your arms, you look up at the ceiling.

“Why? Well, that’s an easy one. Because I genuinely love her.” Blueblood’s angry expression disappears as you continue. “I’ve been thinking for these past few days. Twilight asked me if I would ever marry her and it flipped a switch in my head. I don’t care about Celestia’s position. I don’t care about her wealth. If those things mattered to me, I would find them on my own; not take them from someone else. The reason I love her for who she is: a kind and selfless being who I would have no objections to spending the rest of my life with.”

Blueblood stares at you for a moment, not uttering a single word. With a simple nod, he shifts in his seat and smiles.

“To think, here I thought you were just some run-of-the-mill monkey.”

Celestia returns to the table with Wilma shortly after, baring a cheshire cat’s grin as she takes her seat. Wilma, on the other hand, wears a look of complete horror, almost as if ‘she’ had seen a ghost. The rest of the night goes smoothly, not counting the runaway veggieball that caused three ponies below the balcony to sustain some minor injuries. After paying the bill, Blueblood pulls you aside to talk.

“We got off on the wrong hoof,” he says, extending his hoof for a shake. “I’m sorry for the outburst and give you my blessing for your future with my aunt.” With a cocksure grin, you grab his hoof and shake it, which he quickly wipes with his handkerchief. “Come along, Wils— Wilma, we must be getting you home.”

Wilma, barely able to stand from the five appletinis ‘she’ had, turns to Blueblood with a crooked smile. “Tell me I’m pretty first.” Blueblood rolls his eyes and drags Wilma by the collar, exiting the restaurant. As you make your way out, Celestia throws you a playful look.

“So did my nephew give you any trouble?” With a subtle chuckle, you shake your head.

“No, he’s actually a nice stallion once you get to know him.” Bending down, you give her a peck on the lips. “I wouldn’t mind going another double date with him and Wilma.”

“Something tells me that we won’t be seeing Wilma any more.” She giggles for a moment before letting out a relieved sigh. “Well, I had a great time. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Celestia spreads her wings and takes off into the night sky, her guards following close behind. You watch her disappear into the night sky before heading home. Thankfully, it’s a nice night out. As you enter your home and take off your jacket, you collapse on the couch and close your eyes.

“One day, I’ll tell her how much she means to me. Until then, I’ll enjoy the ride.”

Author's Notes:

HOLY DIVER. YOU'VE BEEN DOWN TOO LONG IN THE MIDNIGHT SEA.