“Unhand me, you fiendish rogue!” Solaire bellowed, grabbing ahold of Deadpool by the neck.

Deadpool held up a finger. “Technically, I’m a thief.”

“Wait, seriously?” Solaire released Deadpool and looked back to the board. “How can a thief pin down a mighty knight?”

“Actually, you’re a barbarian. Also, I have ten plus strength, while you only have eight,” Deadpool pointed out on Solaire’s stat chart.

Solaire picked up the chart and slapped a hand against the forehead of his helmet, causing a loud, ringing noise to be heard. “Impossible! This game makes no sense!”

“No, but a ring of strengthening does.”

“Hey, fellas, will you stop taking this game so seriously?” Twilight asked the pair. She picked up the dice and tossed them swiftly across the board. “Every time we do game night, you two nearly kill each other.”

“Says the only one who came here in costume!” Deadpool pointed out with a laugh.

Twilight scratched at her authentic and quite itchy beard, adjusting her magician’s hat as she checked her star covered cape. “What? My Nightmare Night Star Swirl the Bearded costume is all I had on me.” Looking back to Deadpool and Solaire, Twilight furrowed her gaze. “Wait a second, both of you are in costume!”

“Technically, this counts as spandex.” Deadpool pulled at his red costume, while retracted back with a satisfying smack against his skin.

“I died in this armor,” Solaire said.

Deadpool covered his nose and waved the air in front of himself with his hand of cards. “Yeah, I could tell. You know, they have modern plumbing in the castle, you should give it a shot sometime.”

“Like you ever use it yourself, Deadpool,” Luna called from across the table, seated next to Twilight. She clapped her hooves together, bringing the party’s attention back to the game board. “And now that we’re done bickering, back to our game of Dungeons and Drakes.”

“Wait, why is this game called drakes instead of dragons?” Deadpool asked.

Luna shrugged. “The dragons took offense to their name being included in the title of the game when they were portrayed as a villain race. So the publishers had to change it to drakes. Although I heard the drakes are building up a case to sue them sometime soon as well.”

“Ah, damn political correctness strikes again,” Deadpool said with a deep sigh in his voice.

“Does killing evil demon abominations count as a hate crime?” Solaire asked.

Deadpool snapped his fingers and pointed to Solaire. “Probably in Missouri.”

“Boys, the game,” Luna repeated. She smiled deviously, rubbing her hooves as she looked over the board. “I’m the dungeon master this time, so expect one of the most difficult campaigns you’ve ever experienced. Death will be a blessing once I’m done with you!”

Solaire snorted.

Twilight looked up from her cards. “Wait, why isn’t Princess Celestia with us tonight?”

Luna frowned, rolling her eyes. “My sister is either acting all gloomy and staying cooped up in her room, or off on another date. That’s the usual process for a Saturday night for her now.”

“I heard her last date didn’t go so well,” Twilight mentioned.

Luna, Deadpool, and Solaire all stared at Twilight with equal amounts of deadpan, even if Twilight couldn’t see the faces of two of the group members. She shrunk under their gazes, hiding her face underneath her wide brimmed hat. “Well, more than the usual.”

“Well, seeing how her last date wasn’t the one she was supposed to go on, along with the fact he wasn’t even immortal, I’m not surprised.” Luna huffed under her breath. “And now Celestia’s stuck in an even deeper funk than usual. I don’t know how to get her out of it.”

A light bulb appeared over Deadpool’s head, before shorting out and crashing into a shower of broken glass on the table. “I have an—”

“No,” all three of the group members said immediately.

“But—”

“Deadpool, whenever you come up with an idea, it usually involves ruining one of Celestia’s dates, or extremely high amounts of property damage, but most of the time both of those things at the same time!” Luna said.

“But that’s the thing, I have an idea that will actually improve Celestia’s date!” Deadpool declared. “And we can all help her out as well!”

Twilight raised her hoof. “I’m not going to die because of this, right?”

“Ah, death isn’t so bad,” Solaire said with a chuckle in his tone. “Heck, a benefit is never having to go to the bathroom ever again. Although there’s still the fact you’ll eventually go insane and your own madness will consume what little order you have in your mind until you’re left a hollowed out husk of your former self.” Solaire leaned back in his seat with both hands crossed behind his neck. “But, like I said, you’ll be saving a ton from not buying toilet paper.”

Deadpool wisely scooted away from Solaire. “No one’s dying—dear God, that sounds weird to say. Simply put, we get the guy who was supposed to be Celestia’s date to go on an actual date with her.”

“And?” Luna asked, her eyebrow arched.

“And then we make sure she has the best date ever by accompanying her as a super deluxe triple date!” Deadpool pointed to Luna. “We’ll do Deadmoon and Twilaire! How does that sound?”

“Like some jolly co-operation!” Solaire declared.

“Like an asinine plan cooked up by an idiot,” Luna sighed.

“Can I go home and not go on a date with the dead guy?” Twilight asked.

“We shove off in an hour!” Deadpool hopped on the table, pulling out his phone. “I have just the connections to get us a place to have the date at. Along with getting the captain himself to board with us as well!”

“And how exactly are you going to convince Celestia this is a good idea?” Luna asked him, already chiding herself for allowing another date night to be ruined by one of Deadpool’s antics.

Deadpool winked at her, the effect much creepier when she realized he had no eye holes. “Just leave that to me.”