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Head of a Dog; Tail of a Lion

by Bico

Chapter 3: Act III: A Bird in the Hand

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Six ponies made their way up the tunnels back toward the Crystal Empire. Twilight held the map that the Canidians had provided in front of her, consulting it closely. Behind her, Rarity’s horn glowed with her gem finding spell.

“I don’t know, Twilight,” Rarity said, looking around at the hidden gems. “The pattern of gem deposits around here don’t seem to match up with what I’d expect if we were getting closer to the Crystal Empire.”

“Are you sure you’re readin’ that map right, Sugarcube?” Applejack interjected.

Please,,” Twilight said, exasperation straining her voice. “I’m not Pinkie Pie.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Pinkie said with a sigh. “If you were Pinkie Pie, then I’d have to be Princess Twilight Sparkle, and I cannot handle the pressures of princesshood, again.”

“What do you mean, ag—you know what? I don’t want to know,” Twilight said. “I already have a headache.”

“Well,” Rainbow Dash said as she furtively glanced around the dark tunnel. “If this were a Daring Do novel, this would be about the time we learned that our enemy’s gesture of goodwill was actually leading us into…”

“An ambush!”

“Yeah,” Rainbow said, nodding. “I figured you’d get what I mean, Egghea—” she stopped as she looked ahead to see her friends frozen in front of a dozen glowing canine eyes that had popped out of the darkness. “Oh! Oh, this is one of those gags.”

“I know, right?” Pinkie said, giving Dash a shoulder punch. “It’s a real classic.”

The Canidian Diamond Dogs clawed themselves out of their own paw-dug tunnels, growling at the six mares. Their fur was matted and washed out, giving them an appearance far more akin to the Diamond Dogs in Equestria rather than the more noble looking dogs that seemed to populate Spottawa. Wordlessly, they attacked.

The ponies were prepared. Even after having walked for hours among the dank caverns, they sprang into action. Rainbow Dash and Applejack took the lead, bull-rushing and scattering the dogs. Rarity came up behind them, landing graceful yet devastating kicks and punches to the dazed attackers. Twilight and Pinkie fought with the skill and athleticism of a typical drunken brawler, but their enthusiasm and raw strength were more than effective in repelling all comers. Any dog that was unfortunate enough to attempt to attack Fluttershy quickly regretted it.

In a matter of seconds, the dogs were sent whimpering in all directions, diving into the rocks. The mares heaved sighs of relief, but it was short lived as tunnel trembled and the earth began to fall around them.

“They’re causing a cave-in!” Rarity shouted.

“Everypony get close to me!” Twilight shouted. As the tunnel collapsed, her magenta magic burst forth and a bubble formed around them, protecting them from the debris. When the rumbling stopped, she waited for a few seconds more before dropping her shield. “Is… is everypony okay?”

“A bit shaken, but uninjured,” Rarity said.

Applejack nodded. “Yeah, but can you believe those low-down cowards? We’re… we’re buried alive in here...”

“W-wait, everypony,” Fluttershy whispered. “We ponies may be alright, but… but he isn’t.” She pointed her hoof to one side of the collapsed tunnel, where one of the dogs who had attacked them lay half buried under the rocks, whimpering softly.

“Huh!” Rainbow said, lowering her head threateningly. “Serves him right for attacking us!”

“No, Rainbow!” Fluttershy scolded. “It doesn’t matter what he’s done, nopony deserves to suffer.”

“Fluttershy’s right,” Twilight said. “We should try to help this poor creature.” She lit her horn and began to carefully move the rocks.

“Careful, Twilight!” Pinkie said. “If you move one of those rocks wrong, you’ll bring the whole tunnel down on us.”

“Just… just tell me how to proceed,” Twilight said.

Fluttershy knelt down next to the Diamond Dog as Twilight continued, Pinkie bouncing around excitedly in her attempts to direct the rock moving process. “Are you alright?”

He looked at her with a pinched brow, anger and fear burning in his eyes. “Finish it, pony!”

“What?” Fluttershy asked, her face contorted in confusion. “We’re… we’re trying to finish freeing you as quickly as we can, and then we’ll make sure we get you home safely.”

“Are you serious?” He growled, eyes narrowed. “Are all ponies… as stupid as you?”

“Um…”

“Fluttershy is most certainly not stupid,” Rarity protested. “She’s trying to help you out of the kindness of her heart. Some of us might not be so willing,” she shot a glance at Rainbow, who turned her head petulantly. “But few ponies could ever conceive of hurting anyone who was already hurt and defenseless, enemy or not.”

“That’s right,” Applejack agreed. “Everypony knows you reap what you sow, an’ we prefer a nice big crop of friendship to pain an’ sufferin’.”

He snuffled. “You ponies… are all stupid.”

Twilight finished clearing the rubble, and Fluttershy gently checked the dog over before helping him sit up. “You don’t look injured. How do you feel?”

He sneered. “Can’t feel legs. Should have known before. What’s wrong with me goes deeper than cuts and bruises.”

Twilight gasped. “Internal bleeding? I might be able to stop it long enough for us to get out of here, just let me scan…”

“No internal bleeding!” he barked. He coughed and lay back on the rocks. “I need jewels. Gems. Every Diamond Dog… relies on them. Without them, we become coarse… and slow. Since the Crystal Empire returned… they have been scarcer than ever. Some stay on edge… live gem to gem. If not have enough…”

“If it’s gems you need,” Rarity declared. “Then I’m your mare.” With that, she cast her gem-finding spell, homing in on one through the solid rock wall. “There we are! Pinkie, can you help me dig right here?”

“You got it Rarity!” Pinkie said. With that, her forelock began to spin and she headbutted the wall, sending rock chips flying as she slowly drilled through the wall.

“If there’s anything I can do to make you feel more comfortable in the meantime…” Fluttershy offered.

He stared at her for a long moment. “You really do want to help me.” He shook his head. “Maybe… I help you, too. Just listen. Before…” He gestured to his legs and rapped his knuckles on them, a dull thud resounding from the gray limbs. “Before I become statue…”


"Yah!" Precious squealed. "Yah, mule!"

"I am a crystal pony!" Arrow groused. "What, you think all us equines look alike?"

Precious sniffed. "You all smell alike..."

"Dude," Spike said with an uncomfortable shift of his shoulders as they trotted along on Crystal Arrow's back. "That's kinda wrong." He shot a glare at Arrow. "And aren't mules half pony?"

He shuddered. "Truly a horrifying thought."

Spike frowned. "You're really prejudiced, you know that?"

From behind him, Precious wrapped her furry arms around his torso. "But we Diamond Dogs would never judge a noble dragon like you, Lord Dragon."

"Uh, yeah..." Sweat beaded on his scaly head at the hug. "So... where are we, now?"

"Mm," Precious looked around as if they weren't right in the middle of her hometown... cave. "This is the Central Tradepost, where most Diamond Dog commerce is done. Cool, huh?"

"Everything looks..." Spike eyed the countless gems either on prominent display or changing paws around him. "Delicious."

"Typical dragon," Arrow said as he clomped through the middle of the road. "Always looking to fill their bellies. A wonder the Crystal Heart hadn't been devoured by the time it was rescued."

Precious brought her riding crop down on Arrow's flank again, yipping as she did. "Slander! The great dragon protector would never do such a thing. It is you ponies who have stolen the sacred heart!"

"You wouldn't know what to do with it if you had it," Arrow retorted. "Your ancestors just buried it like a bone."

"It is you who do not know what the Heart means," she said. “Once the Diamond Dogs were a proud and unified race! Until you ponies ruined everything…”

“What do you mean by that?” Spike asked. “I thought the Crystal Heart was a relic of the Crystal Ponies…”

“Of course it is,” Arrow said, puffing his chest out. “It goes all the way back to the great exodus from the legendary pony paradise, Dream Valley, when our kingdom was but a twinkle in our founder’s eye.”

“Wrong,” Precious countered, folding her arms across her chest stubbornly. “It goes all the way back to the origin of our race!”

“Oh, yeah?” Spike said curiously, leaning in toward Precious.

Precious pointed to a large stone statue of a dog that towered over the Tradepost. “That is the Father of the Diamond Dogs, Lord Crunch. Long ago, he was the protector of the Crystal Heart, but he was lonely. He pleaded to his creator to grant him children. Thus the first Diamond Dogs were sculpted from stone and given life from shards of Crunch’s own heart.”

“Well, that’s a nice little story,” Crystal Arrow said, twitching his ear irritably. “But it’s just a legend. Princess Amore, herself, received the Crystal Heart with the blessings of His Royal Elevated Eminence in order to protect the ancestors of my race. It was really all very official, signed and notarized by Her Highness’ own royal hoof!”

“Wow,” Spike said, pursing his lips in thought. “Sounds like the kind of pony Twilight would get along with…”

“Well, she is Princess Cadance’s ancestor,” Arrow commented. “Her royal lineage was confirmed by the Exalted Librarian, the most powerful and knowledgeable pony in our kingdom besides the princess, herself.”

“I’m beginning to see why Twilight likes this place so much,” Spike commented with a wry smile.

Precious blew a raspberry. “Ridiculous. Your story is full of holes. Lord Crunch’s creator would never have given up his Heart so easily.”

“Perhaps he cared more for ponies than for mangy mutts,” Arrow muttered.

A growl escaped Precious’ throat. Then she took a breath and smiled at Spike. “I am hungry. How about we go back to the palace for a nice banquet?”

Spike blinked. “Uh… sure, sounds good to me.”

Precious nodded and raised her riding crop. “Yah, mule!”


Princess Cadance’s eyes tracked her husband as he paced before the throne. “Darling, you haven’t sat still since Twilight and her friends entered that tunnel. You’re making me dizzy.”

“Sorry, Princess,” he said with a weak smile as he halted in place. “I guess I’m just worried about my little sister.”

“She’s a big alicorn, now,” Cadance said with a laugh. “Aunt Celestia has entrusted her with more harrowing missions than this. You should trust her, too.”

Shining sighed and lumbered up to her side. “I guess you’re right. Just that big brother protective instinct, I gue—”

Twilight burst through the large throneroom doors, knocking back two pegasus guards, one with a coat of blue crystal and one of a normal orange. She ignored their complaints and rushed to her brother and sister-in-law, her friends trotting behind her. All six were covered in dirt and grime, their coats lathered with sweat. The most shocking sight, however, was Fluttershy carrying a Diamond Dog on her back.

“Twilight!” Cadance exclaimed. “What’s the meaning of this?”

“And what is that dog doing here?” Shining added.

Twilight shook her mane. “Look, there’s not much time to explain. We need to get to the Crystal Heart right now!”

“We… we put it back in the highest tower to keep it safe from Diamond Dog raids,” Shining Armor said. “There’s no way they can get to it without us knowing…”

Cadance sprang to her hooves. “If you say you need to get to the Heart, then I will bring you there, myself.” Her horn lit with her powerful love magic and struck the floor before the throne, revealing a heart-shaped entrance.

“Um… excuse me, Mr… uh… Prince Armor,” Fluttershy whispered as her friends descended the staircase. “Would you look after our new friend, here? And get a bowl of crystals, please.”

“O-of course?” Shining said, taking the dog, who seemed far heavier than expected for some reason, onto his back.

The seven mares made their way through the secret passage to the long staircase up to the tower. “I kept Sombra’s infinite stair spell in place,” Cadance explained. “So we’ll have to fly up.”

Twilight nodded and the two of them took to the air followed by their pegasus companions. Cadance seized Rarity in her magic, pulling her along, while Twilight did the same for Applejack. Pinkie Pie simply bounced onto Rainbow’s back, shouting “yeehaw,” much to Applejack’s chagrin.

They made it to the top of the tower in moments to find the Crystal Heart still suspended between a crystal stalagmite and stalactite, softly glowing with its protective Harmony. Twilight approached the Heart, her eyes wandering around the open air chamber. “Spread out, everypony, they could come from any side.”

“What is this about, Twilight?” Cadance queried, her brows pinched with concern.

Twilight huffed. “I’m not completely sure. We do know, however, that the raids have all been a distraction. The real target is the Crystal Heart. I just… don’t know how they plan on getting to it.”

“Well,” Cadance said with a laugh. “That sounds like quite the task for a species that can neither fly nor use magic.”

“And even if they could,” Rainbow interjected. “We’re here, and nopony’s getting past us…” She froze as the feathers of her wings felt the wind of a passing form on her left, the briefest darkening of her peripheral vision accompanying it. “Twilight, look out!”

Twilight turned, only to see an approaching stone filling her vision right before impacting with her face. She was flung away from the Crystal Heart, unconscious before she hit the ground.

“Twilight!” Cadance shouted, galloping toward her.

Lurching back to consciousness, Twilight gasped. “Th-the Crystal Heart!”

The mares looked toward where the Heart rested, but it had vanished. In its place, a single feather floated down toward the floor.

“Th-that feather… I recognize it,” Rainbow Dash declared, snatching it up. “It’s… a griffon!”

“That’s right, foals!” a rough, feminine voice said. The voice belonged to a young, hawk-faced griffoness, masked in a round, steel helmet and wielding a mace in her tail. “When your descendants tell tales of the fall of the once proud ponies, they shall tremble at the mention of the name Gael of the Roarse!” She raised the Crystal Heart into the air and then slipped it into a satchel strapped to her side before leaping backward off the tower.

“Oh, no you don’t!” Rainbow growled. She dashed after her, taking flight at breakneck speed. She saw Gael, already a speck in the sky, heading straight toward the shield that protected the shining city. “She’s fast,” she mused. “But not as fast as me.” She increased her speeds to sonic levels, a cone forming in front of her as she approached Rainboom speed.

The distance between Rainbow and Gael closed before Rainbow ever had to break the barrier. She dove for her, intent on retrieving the satchel, but a flick of Gael’s tail brought her mace to bear on Rainbow’s side.

“Don’t think it will be easy to catch me,” Gael taunted her pursuer. “I was chosen for this mission not only because I was fastest, but also the most skilled in aerial combat!”

“Oh, yeah?” Rainbow said with a sneer. “Well, don’t underestimate my fighting skills, either.” She shot forward again, overtaking Gael in an instant before lashing out with a series of quick side-kicks.

Gael roared as she was knocked back by the assault, but she was otherwise unfazed and retaliated with a haymaker to Rainbow’s face. She followed up by whipping her mace at Rainbow, catching her in the head. With her pursuer disoriented, she darted away.

Rainbow shook off the attack, turning to go after Gael, but when she spotted her, she had just crossed the threshold of the magic shield surrounding the Crystal Empire. The moment the Crystal Heart left the city, the field dropped, and the cold winds of the Frozen North descended upon her.


“Oh, Lord Dragon, you’re so funny!” Precious declared as she watched him grab a gem he had balanced on the spike on top of his head with his tongue and swallow it. She scooted closer to him and wrapped her big, furry arms around his shoulders, pushing her cold, wet nose into his cheek. “And so handsome…”

“Uh…” Spike said with a blush. “That’s… both flattering and uncomfortable.”

The door of the banquet hall opened and Red Fang strode in, his chest puffed out with pride. “Ah, Lord Dragon. Daughter! I am pleased to see you both, for I have exciting news.”

“Really, Daddy?” Precious exclaimed, her tongue flopping out.

“Yes,” Red affirmed. “Our troubles are finally over. You see, we are about to cement an alliance with a new ally who will rid us of our… present troubles.”

“Ally?” Spike said hesitantly. “Troubles?”

Red bowed to Spike. “Yes, Lord Dragon. However, I’m afraid your friends may disrupt the delicate negotiations… and—perhaps unwittingly—doom us all.”

“Wh-what?” Spike said, concerned.

“It’s hard to discuss,” Red said, his façade of confidence wavering momentarily. “Follow me and I will show you what I mean.” He turned and left, Spike and Precious scrambling behind him with Crystal Arrow in tow. They turned down several corridors until they came to a room thick with the smell of antiseptics. “Here is our medical wing,” he finally said, coming to a halt before a room with several white-coated canines huddled within. He raised his voice, addressing the medical staff. “How is she?”

The group broke apart, revealing a dog in a strait jacket standing in their midst. Her features were somewhat more deformed and her fur matted and stiff like clay. Her features were, Spike realized, far closer to those of the Diamond Dogs that had captured Rarity near Ponyville. “She’s in the final stages, I’m afraid,” one of the dogs said.

“Then you can see for yourself what we’re dealing with,” Red said to Spike, gesturing toward the restrained dog.

Spike gasped as she howled in pain. One of the doctors released her jacket straps, and the Diamond Dog ripped out of her bonds. She writhed before them, but her legs didn’t move at all. Spike realized that while most of her fur had the look of dried clay, her lower half seemed to be solid rock, and it was spreading up her body. As the rock creeped up slowly, more of her body became immobilized. First her abdomen, then her upper back, and then her arms. Finally, her neck froze in place, and her howls turned into silent screams as her face turned to stone, permanently freezing into a mask of terror.

“Celestia…” Spike swore.

Red huffed, turning his head from the sight. “Tell somepuppy to put her somewhere nice. Somewhere nopuppy will… miss her.”

Spike looked to Precious, whose head was bowed, her ears drooping sadly. Then he glanced at Arrow, whose face was a stormy mix of emotions, but it was slowly settling on horrified. “I… I’ll do whatever I can to help, sir,” he said. “I swear on my dragon code of honor.”

Red Fang closed his eyes and nodded. “I’m glad to hear that.” He turned to his left. “It seems our allies have already arrived.”

Spike turned to follow his gaze, and his eyes widened as he saw a flock of griffons approaching. One stood in front, her head black and beak petite while her chest and feline back end were pure white but for the black tuft at the end of her tail and the shiny blue tips of her wings. Directly beside her was a young griffoness with the golden brown feathers and black hooked beak of a hawk and the rear of a golden lion cub. Her poise was aggressive and proud, and when her amber eyes locked onto Spike’s, he couldn’t help but turn away.

“Ambassador Gemma,” Red greeted the lead griffoness. “I trust you’ve upheld your end of the bargain?”

“Indeed,” Gemma responded. She turned to the younger griffoness at her side with a hint of pride. “Gael came through in spite of your mangy mutts’ failure to distract those meddling ponies.”

Red grimaced toothily. “It matters not. With the sacred artifact in our paws, Canida and all Diamond Dog kind will be saved, and you… you will benefit quite handsomely for your efforts.”

Spike gulped as the griffons burst into laughter that sounded suspiciously maniacal. “And… and what, exactly, did you want from me?”

“Lord Dragon,” Red said, turning to him and bowing deeply once more. “I only ask that you do what your ancestors before you did. Protect our Crystal Heart at all costs.”

“The Crystal Heart?!” Arrow exclaimed, earning an annoyed smack to the flank from Precious.

“If you do this, you will live as a god,” Red Fang said. He looked over to Precious, who yipped happily. “And you may have my daughter’s paw in marriage.”

“Wh-wha…” Spike said weakly. Overwhelmed, his eyes rolled into the back of his head and the world blacked out.

Return to Story Description

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